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Reviews for Starla's Dance

By : AmberIsh
  • From ANON - Starla on September 01, 2004
    oook yeah to who ever reviewed this story before me and insulted my sisters grammar HELLOOO WHO CARES REALLY we're all not english majors here... i speak 5 different languages and my main language is english and not even i can "get that good grammer" aside from that this story was revised and is coming out m'excellent... if i do say so myself as well as plot line yeah we all have our stubborn muses whom you have to kick in the ass and say entertme mme muse so i may write and bring forth thy lovely story.. so yeah go a little easy on this fic i mean sheesh so anal... uhh and yeah HURRY UP MISS AUTHOR WITH THE CHAPY'S...... ok merci, domo, gracias, grazie, obrigado, and thank you i'm done now.... ps i do beta read this sometimes.... so pardon me if the slight "gramatical errors" happen to slip threw my grammar check.... sheesh
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 01, 2004
    ^_^ you need to update
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  • From ANON - Palerider Priest on August 31, 2004
    The introduction needs to be re-read and improved upon. You had improperly used the word 'threw', should have been 'through', and I don't know about casual readers, but on people that are looking for a good story it will immediately 'throw' them off. However, that is a common mistake, and I know spell checker is useless in those situations. I recommend finding a Beta Reader that isn't really a friend of yours, but doesen't mind giving you constructive criticism over your work and make out a few points, preferably someone who is fairly decent in English or Speech. Aside from format, I did like the use of the poem, gave it a Final Fantasy feel to it in one sense. I'm afraid, nonetheless, that I am having difficulty with the storyline. This is obviously not an Alternate Universe story, so thus I must be critical in a point. You can be original in saying that rather than great praises after the Meteor Incident that Cloud is immediately casted away (This is not uncommon in real life for example, Vietnam War) however, you should not start at that conclusion of the story. I would have started with Chapter 2 and go straight into the action and romance, so when people are wondering what's going on, you've caught their attention. Then, you can unveil to them what happened before all that. Anyways, I gave you 2 out of 5. Good luck and Try again.
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  • From ANON - Anon on August 29, 2004
    bwahahaha more story now
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