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Reviews for A Day of Training

By : andysss456
  • From ANON - The Pairing Guy on June 23, 2015
    The lack of explanation for the characters' behavior makes it impossible to buy into this story. Even hypno fics provide some sort of emotional context for the characters, here they're just having sex for no reason. There doesn't have to be love involved, but without any emotion the characters just feel like dolls.
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  • From ArchangelM127 on November 30, 2009
    Long after the fact, I know, but you wanted a review so...

    This is PWP, which isn't my taste but that's neither here nor there. Your spelling and basic grammar is pretty good, but your writing as a whole feels stiff and awkward. It doesn't affect readability, but it is noticeable. As far as the sex, your descriptions are good, but the scene as a whole felt far too short. That's all I really have to say. You definitely have potential, so keep on writing! :)
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  • From ANON - DragonKnight on July 26, 2005
    Could have been longer
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  • From ANON - Squalls Lover on June 07, 2005
    ..OK..Wheres Rinoa..??
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  • From ANON - anonymous on October 09, 2004
    this made me laugh (in a good way)
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 26, 2004
    You didn't have to tell us that you're male. It was obvious, even before you used the word 'rod.'
    New paragraph every time someone new speaks. Ending paragraphs with "..." doesn't add suspense. Longer sentences would be nice, too, because you've drowned this fic in monotony. Keep these things in mind next time you try to write. Please.
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