Reviews for Lust

BY : Sin

  • From Helluin on January 21, 2008

    To add to other folks' comments and help you get better ratings... 1) If you can replace your characters' names with any two random names chosen out of the hat, and it wouldn't make any difference, then you need to work on your writing. The point of fanfiction is to write about specific characters... characters that people enjoy reading about. If you can't write them in such a way that it sounds like them, no one's going to bother to read your work. Think about what they wear, what their likes and dislikes are in the game, how they act -- shy? aggressive? formal language? Swearing? -- and be careful to imitate that, or have a good reason for changing it. 2) Learn about lesbian sex before trying to write it. This is so off that it reminds me of teenaged boys trying to guess what girl parts look like. Women don't talk or sound like this even when they're horny and playing rough. I don't even think teenaged girls act like this. Why would Tifa be bleeding? Did Rinoa use a pickaxe? ;) I know that it's hard to find good models of lesbian sex scenes on line -- most of the f/f erotica on the web is written by desperately clueless men -- but check out for a lot of short one-shots written by LJ community members who have a few more clues. Good luck!

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  • From SilverwindFara on October 01, 2007

    Hmmm I guess that it must be someone out there that think that this is good. At least you could have possed it in the right category Tifa is FF7 and Rinoa is FF8, why are you posting it in FF10?

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  • From ANON - Anon on August 26, 2005

    Since this is totally AU, I suppose the fact that your characters are OOC is OK.... Though it would've been better if you had made them more in character, and maybe given a little bit of a back story, like something to give us a sense of setting (did they travel to each others' worlds? Are they AU'd in our world? Where in it? How did they meet? How did they get together) ... It doesn't have to be too much, but however erotic this fic was, it just didn't have any feeling to it.

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  • From ANON - Anon on July 28, 2005

    this is fucking awful

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  • From FauxParad0x on May 28, 2005

    *Claps* Good chap. Keep it up, I'll be looking for your stuff. ^_ Speakin a which, I should bust my OWN ass and finish mine...

    Gotta bounce,

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