Still thinking of you

BY : ryushinuki
Category: Final Fantasy VII > General
Dragon prints: 518
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

ryu-chan: okies everyone, LONG chap REA REALLY long. beware! you know, maybe i should keep some pride and just wait unt get get two more reviews... gosh, i'm so torn!
Sephiroth: oh, just post it! you're making Kari wait!
Cloud: *scrolls ahead* WHAT?! How could you do this to me? I'm too pretty to suffer like this!
Sephiroth: Yeah, that and your brain is too small to comprehend these kinds of situations.
Rufus: *bashes Sephy over the head with a frying pan* excuse me! that's my almost LOVER you're insulting!
Sephiroth: big deal.
Cloud/Rufus: WHAT?!
ryu-chan: *sighs* you know, living with chibi versions of these guys sounds real good about now...
Cloud/Sephy/Rufus: *rolling around on the floor ripping limbs and hair off the silver haired one*
ryu-chan: ... *sigh ...

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of FF VII or their elements... escept me. Steal me, and i'll hunt you down!

~Still thinking of you, chapter five~

It had been three weeks since the pizza parlor incident, and it was still fresh on Rufus’ mind. Everything seemed to be as it was, though. Surprisingly, they had made it home without President ShinRa catching them, but the were caught by a particularly heated Tseng. He had fussed over not knowing where the two had gone, lecturing them about “what if you’d gotten yourselves abducted” or “I never… how could you…” and blah blah blah. However, both Rufus and Cloud were still just friends, pulling pranks on passerby and trashing the e ate at night, so nothing seemed to have changed. But in actuality that was quite the opposite of how it really was. Rufus had felt that he was growing more and more attached to Cloud lately, as if every moment in time was the last he would spend with him. Last Tuesday they had been forced to hide in the broom closet from his father, who was getting sick and tired of seeing Rufus tired at work. They had thrown themselves in there just as President ShinRa was rounding the corner, so they were very squished but still very silent. Cloud had been pushed up against him in a most suggestive sort of way, so that his ass was brushing directly against Rufus’ crotch. This had made him particularly… well, actually, he hadn’t felt uncomfortable at all. It was odd, but every time he had physical contact with Cloud it was as if the most wonderful thing had happened to him. And that incident was no exception, either. He was confused by all this, and as he was rethinking all of this through for the hundredth time he caught himself gazing out os ofs office window again. Cursing under his breath, he swiveled back towards the desk and proceeded to look over files and orders that flooded his computer monitor, eyes darkening in frustration.

Cloud was faring no better. He was plagued by thoughts of Rufus every time the boy left to go to work, or lessons, or even to the bathroom for that matter. He had had reoccurring dreams lately of an evening basked in the light of the sunset, Rufus looking into his eyes, and kissing him deeply. The dream usually ended there, but sometimes it went further, going from a chaste kiss to a heated one, hands roaming over bare skin as he laid Rufus down on any nearby surface. The dream would proceed to terminate itself there, and it frustrated Cloud beyond belief. When he woke up he sometimes found the sheets were soaked through, and other times he had to finish his dream for himself, resulting in wet sheets anyway. He always caught himself muttering and cursing under his breath as he strutted around the ShinRa mansion too, kicking pillows, chairs, and even the occasional cat out of the way as he went. Every time Rufus smiled at him he wanted to pin him to a nearby wall and plant a fierce kiss on his cherry pink lips, tear off his shirt and ravage him right then and there. It was slowly driving him crazy, and he felt that soon he couldn’t keep this false front up any more. As he rounded the living room corner to the kitchen, he proceeded to bury himself in the refrigerator, looking for anything that could satisfy his mounting hunger.

He didn’t know why he favored food as his comfort. It just seemed to either A) take his mind off of things, B) give him some sort of idea of what to do about a nagging problem, or C) not do anything at all. And today it was doing just that. He ripped into a leftover turkey sandwich and devoure in in 30 seconds flat, but he seemed to still be hungry. He walked over to the pantry and raided it of any cookies he could find, and quickly settled on a package of Danish Wedding cookies. He was half way through his third one when Tseng walked in.

“ Any luck with your over excessive eating in the last few days, Cloud?” Cloud glared daggers.

“ … No,” he said simply, taking another bite into his cake. Tseng shook his head and opened the fridge. He took a beer from the bottom shelf, and walked over to a drawer to search for a bottlenerener.

“ They’re over there,” said Cloud blandly, pointing to a drawer next to the stove. Tseng looked at him, and it almost seemed a worried look. He walked over to the correct drawer, and opened it up, seeing a bottle opener right in front of him. Tseng felt his eyebrows crease: it didn’t seem right that a guest to the house knew the kitchen better than he did.

“ You know Cloud, it’s not as if your thoughts aren’t out in the open,” he said as he closed the drawer and turned to look at Cloud. Cloud’s gaze narrowed.

“ What’s it to you, Tseng?” he spat out, ice in his voice.

“ You’re only not getting confronted by him because he’s too naïve when it comes to these sorts of matters.” Cloud felt his blood turn thick as he forced himself to swallow.

“ Confronted? By who?” Tseng snorted.

“ Don’t play stupid with me, Cloud. It’s obvious to see who you’re always thinking about. Almost as if he lingers on your mind even when he is, act,act, around,” Tseng added slyly as he popped the lid off the beer. Cloud’s throat went tight.

“ W-who are you–“

“ Cloud, I know how you feel about Rufus. It’s only obvious that you’ve felt this way since you arrived here. Anyone could tell just by putting you two within eye’s reach. You’re always looking at him when he doesn’t notice. Every time he goes somewhere after work you always stop him, insisting that you go with. And I’ve noticed that you talk in your sleep, as well.” That did it. Cloud was as stiff as a statue. He felt the blood creeping into his cheeks as he forced his brain to think straight. He was still processing this information as Tseng continued.

“ I walked in to change Rufus’ sheets one morning, and you were moaning. Quite loudly I might add, almost as if you were… aroused from you dream. Naturally, when I heard you moan Rufus’ name and saw your eyes shut tighter, I could only put two and two together.” Tseng smiled as he took a swig from his beer. Cloud’s head, meanwhile, was spinning. Had he really spoken in his dreams? What if Tseng was telling the truth? What if… oh shit, what if Rufus had heard him? What would he think of it? Cloud felt himself grow anxious: he had never felt this nervous before. What if Rufus had indeed heard him, and had decided not said anything about it? Sweat beaded itself on his forehead as Cloud’s thoughts whirled in his head like a taffy machine, trying to decide on what to do.

“ I think you should talk to him about it, personally.” Cloud squeaked in alarm, dropping what appeared to be his sixth Danish Wedding cookie. Tseng was looking at him with a friendly smirk, as though contemplating what to tell him. Cloud was certain that, from what Tseng had just said, the Chinese man could certainly read minds.

“ It’s what I would do. I don’t know if I could live with all that emotional crap weighing me down.” Tseng took another swig from the bottle. “ … You seem confused. I don’t understand what about, but I’m sure I can speculate.” Cloud looked back up at him.

“ No, I think I know what’s up. It’s not that I have a problem with what I feel, but…”

“ … Not necessarily what to do about it, correct?” Cloud nodded: it was true. He was fine with trying to deal with his feelings, sure. He never had been attracted to girls, ever, so after weeks of thinking he finafinally come to the conclusion that ust ust be homosexual. There was simply no other way to put it.

“ Like I said before, I’d try talking to him about it. It doesn’t seem so wrong to at least do that much, does it?”

“ No, I suppose not…” Cloud said slowly, “ It’s just that… what if he turns me down? What if he laughs at me, or worse! I mean, what if… what if he hates me for it?” Tseng watched Cloud lower his head again, and close his eyes. Ahh, what he would’ve given to be 16 again, to try and sort through these matters and see what sort of outcome he’d have had. He closed his own eyes in turn, and thought of the other side to the story. Truth be it that he had also been watching Rufus a little more closely of late. Not only was it his job in the first place, but there were some new behaviors that seemed to be surfacing. He was catching Rufus waking up later than usual, and always stopping at the door for a last look at Cloud before leaving his room. He also caught him looking up dirty web sites during work, particularly ones with… well, gay porno on them to be quite blunt. Also, he saw that the almost vice president usually left wet sheets to be cleaned up after each night, too…

“ You know, Cloud,” Tseng started, opening his black almond eyes to dig themselves into deep sea green, “ I’d almost like to think that Rufus has been experiencing the same thing you’ve been. Judging by the way he acts, mostly.” He could see that this remark had caught Cloud by surprise, but utter confusion suddenly turned to clear realization as the force of Tseng’s words dawned on him. No way, Cloud thought quickly, he couldn’t… he couldn’t possibly… could he? Then he remembered all the ways Rufus had been reacting lately, from the first night when Cloud had taken off his shirt to the pizza parlor incident, from the broom closet all the way up to the very times he even made eye contact with Cloud. Meanwhile, Tseng took the last drink from his beer, tossed it into the nearby trashcan, and walked out of the kitchen.

“ By the way, don’t be so alarmed that I usually voice what you’re thinking. Being trained as a Turk and all, I’ve also been taught to read emotions… in case someone lies.” And with that he left, leaving a very troubled Cloud behind with mixed feelings and a half-eaten package of Danish Wedding cookies.

That was it. Rufus was sick of it. He was talking to Cloud, tonight. It had been three weeks, and it was time to take action. That, and Tseng had entered his office earlier that week and talked to him about this whole mess of things.


“ Rufus sir? May I come in please?” Rufus heard Tseng’s voice from beyond his office door, and pushed the yellow button under his desk. There was a buzzing sound, and the door slid open. Since last week Rufus had had so many secretaries come into his office unannounced that he was getting pissed, and decided to lock the door incase another one tried to do it too.
Rufus looked up at the doorway, and growled.

“ Tseng, are you coming in or not?” Tseng was standing in the doorway, somewhat like a statue, totally silent. Rufus felt himself go dangerously close to screaming at him to get his ass through the door or have it slam in his face when a secretary walked passed him and started towards Rufus’ desk, a large stack of papers in her hands.

“ GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY OFFICE, NOW!” Rufus screamed at the top of his lungs, bng ong out of his chair and slamming his hands down on the desk. The secretary gave out an audible shriek, dropped the s of of papers and ran from the room. Rufus was huffing and puffing while papers flew everywhere, some out the window, others under his desk, one landing right in front of him. Tseng lowered his gaze and shook his head, stepped through the door, and closed it.

“ Sir, you really ought to try aave ave patience with them. It’s only their job, after all.” Rufus’ eyes were like the edges of swords, his temper over boiling as he fell back into his chair, sighing deeply.

“ Now really, sir,” Tseng said as he bent down to pick up the scattered documents, “ You should have more patience with your workers. After all, patience is—“

“ A virtue, right?” Rufus spat out, leaping from his chair and clenching his fists together. “ Well then, tell me this, Tseng. If patience is such a virtue, then how come it’s not helping me out at all? comecome my problems aren’t magically finding answers? How come…” he sighed, and sank into his chair.

“… How come he’s not returning your feelings?” Rufus looked up, and quickly buried his head in his hands.

“ Yeah… how come he doesn’t notice? It’s so obvious that even my secretary’s been giving that God damn quizzical look, like… yes! THAT one, Tseng!” Tseng was indeed giving him that ‘quizzical look,’ and he was certainly good at it. Rufus sighed again, feeling the tension build in his shoulders as he leaned back into his chair again, the leather softly rubbing against his hairline. Tseng shook his head, and places a stack of papers on Rufus’ desk.

“ Talk to him,” he stated simply. Rufus glanced up at him.
“ Excuse me?”

“ I said talk to him. It’ll get you somewhere, will it not?” Rufus rolled his eyes.

“ Yeah, it probably would. IN THE WRONG DIRECTION.” He stood up and walked to the window, looking out below to the streetlights glowing in the sun’s last rays. “ I mean, he said for himself that he ‘picks up girls’ and that his mother sets him up with Tifa. It’s only common sense that he’ll eventually take Tifa’s offer, and there’s nothing—“

“ She can do about it.” Rufus froze. What… what had Tseng just said?

“ … Repeat that, please, Tseng?”

“ Gladly. I said there’s nothing she can do about it,” Tseng replied smoothly with a humorous edge to his voice. “ If you’ve been doing your math lately, you would have noticed some critical things about Cloud’s behavior. First, the first night he was here. I saw in the morning that you two got to “know each other” a little better than planned. Second, when he abducted you without saying anything to me first. And thirdly, the broom closet last week. Yes, I know about that, sir,” said Tseng quickly as he spotted Rufus’ face heat up as he fell into his chair again. “ If you’ll remember the way you two fell out of the closet, I could only assume the position you were in. So with those pieces of reliable knowledge out on the table, you’ve got more than enough evidence to prove that he, too, has feelings towards his only real childhood friend.” Tseng finished on this note, and walked to the door. Rufus had hardly thought about any of this before standing up and yelling out, “Tseng, wait a second!”

“ Yes, sir? What is it?” Tseng turned away from the doorway, his left hand on the button. Rufus swallowed.

“ What should I do?” Tseng smiled.

“ Talk to him, Rufus. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. That’s what anyone would do.” And with that, he opened the door and left. Rufus sank back into his chair for the fourth time that hour, realizing that there really was only one thing to do.
And that was… really… to talk to Cloud.

End Flashback.

Rufus was leaving ShinRa Inc. early that evening, and he was heading straight to his room. He knew Cloud would be there, waiting for him to get off of work. He passed by a group of security guards, who were looking at him with eyes the size of saucers. He had never, EVER left work early, not even on a Saturday, and those were his extra days. Rufus walked to the first elevator, hit the bottom floor, and closed the door. As the elevator dropped, he began thinking again. What would Cloud say? How would he react to all this? Would he just stand there, soaking it in, or would he immediately understand and start talking and sharing his feelings too? What if… oh Jesus, what if he refused him? What if Cloud left Rufus for nothing and saw him differently than he always had? No, Cloud would never do that. They had known each other since the day they were born, he wouldn’t do that… would he? Rufus had thoughts similar to these as he walked home, through the chilling rain as thunder roared overhead periodically. He reached home soaking wet, opened the front door, slammed it shut, and walked right up the stairs to his room. He paused outside his door, thinking this over for one last time. With a final thought of reassurance, he opened the door.

Sure enough, there was Cloud, sitting at the bay window on the right side of the bay couch, watching the rain pour down. Rufus shut the door and hung up his soaking wet coat, slipping out of his shoes with a squeak of skin against leather. Cloud heard the sound, and looked over.

“ Ruff…” He was so confused. Rufus? Home? Off of work? “ Why are you home so early?”

“…” Rufus didn’t answer. Instead, he walked towards Cloud, weaving in and out of the couches and chairs in his room. There was a look in his eyes that ran through Cloud’s own and hit him straight in the soul, almost as if… he was thinking the same thing that Cloud was?

“ Rufus, we need to talk about something,” said Cloud with a sigh as he stood up, scratching his head. It was now or never, especially after what Tseng had told him. But as he looked up, Rufus rounded the corner, walking straight towards him as if he hadn’t heard him, and with one fluid motion, bent down, cupped Cloud’s face with his hands, and claimed his lips in his own.

ryu-chan: ... gotta go! *runs away and hides from reviewers*
Cloud: *sigh* you know, a chibi RYU sounds good, also...
Rufus: Yeah, whatever. Review please? It may help her to post the other parts of the story that's she's already written.
ryu-chan: *pops out of nowhere* RUFUS!!!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THE READERS THAT!!!!
Rufus: ... oh.
Cloud: Moron.
ryu-chan: *hits them both with frying pans*

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