Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

Reviews for True Love

By : RenobabyGirl

From ANON - Mariam on November 28, 2005
Attention ploy?

^_^
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From ANON - hujui on November 27, 2005
stop taking my man lol great story
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From ANON - Mary Sue on November 27, 2005
Oh yippie skippy!!! Another SUPAH-FABULOOOUS story about ME!!!1111 *sparkles and gumdrops*

THANK YOU SO MUCH for making me so SUPAH HAWT!!!!one!!11 Its like, OMFsparklyfluffG!!!eleven!!1 Making my oversized ta-ta's quiver with delight and sparkles!!!11

AN me with RENO an CLOUD!!!!111 Like, OMFjigglyG DAT'S TEH COOLIES!!!!!1

NOWAH you just like, have to like, make me hook up with SEPHY cus he's SUPAH SUGARY HAWTNESS!!!1 An make a scene where I get hurt and everyone's like: OMFbouncybounceG!!!! OH NOES!!!!! MY BOOBIES!!!!!11

AN!!!!1 Do a scene where my miniature islands of jiggle are compared to TIFA'S, and I WIN of course!!!12

OHKAIES!!!!1two! Make sure to ingest enough SUGAH to write even MORE about ME!!!1 CUS I AHM SO LOVED AND ADORED!!!!1111111111111111111111

*blows kisses* MARY-SUE FOREVAH!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111

http://www.subreality.com/marysue/explain.htm
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From ANON - Tsuki on November 27, 2005
I laughed.
I cried.
Then I farted.

Yeah, that's about all I have to say. :[
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From ANON - Rikku on November 26, 2005
Alrighty then... After reading all the bad reviews for this story, I knew I had to take a look (and eventually leave a bad review myself) too.

First of all, as others have said: SPELL CHECK. It's NOT that hard. Most of isn't even mispellings, just typos-- the kind of things you can EASILY as you're writing if you're putting in ANY kind of effort.

Second-- Mary-Sue. You realize of course that's regarded like the plague in the fanfiction world. Why would you intentionally write a character that way and then flagrantly label it 'MARY-SUE!' ? I don't quite see the logic there. Who LIKES Mary-Sues? They have a bad reputation for a reason.

Okay, third. Even in your minimal-to-no character development/portrayal, you've managed to make Cloud and Reno out of character. Again, you announce the OOC in your summary. You'll have to explain this to me. If they are not in the character that Square-Enix designed for them, then how can this be fanfiction? This goes for anyone who's ever written a fanfic and been AWARE that they are handling the characters' personalities poorly. If you're not going to keep them in character (intentionally) then you should be writing original fiction, not fanfics. Keep other people's characters out of your little fantasies.

Then of course there's your character, or 'you' rather. If she's so damn happy with Cloud, why is she even thinking about Reno like she 'likes' him? And if that's the case, how can she devote herself so completely to Cloud like he's all she needs? And then if THAT'S the case, why would she have sex with Reno?

Fourth... the plot, if one can really call it that. You could at LEAST explain a little more how everyone came to be in the situation they are in. Of course, you seem to enjoy ignoring the fact that these are other people's copyrighted characters and that if you're taking them out of the context they were in, you have to provide some sort of explanation. And basically, what the fuck happened in chapter two? That's really the only way I can describe my reaction to it.

And the rape. You've got to be kidding me. Do I really need to go into all the psychological means that are behind the act of rape? People don't plan rape for revenge, and certainly not that quickly. Rape is serious. Don't fuck around with it in your stories or use it as some random plot device. Rape is tragic and terrible and scary, and I really doubt that you will give it the care it needs in a literary work, as far as how it will affect the characters.

I probably won't be reading more of this. I'm just trying to help all these people save you from yourself.
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From on November 24, 2005
*laughs* I see that everyone else is bitchin atcha, and I kinda want to do the same. Sorry in advance.

Well... my thoughts were pretty much well-summed up by all the reviewers before me. Except, I also want to say: if that Mary is supposed to be you, damn honey, you're one hella slut. Your attempts at making 'Christa' realistic are outrageously BAD. Same with Cloud and Reno. Neither of them are this motherfucking retarded, and believe me, neither of them would be so ruffled over one brainless chick like yours. If you think all these people flame your story because of a Mary Sue, think again. Even if it were Tifa in her place, this story would have no fictional value. :

As a piece of advice: stories that just toss back and forth between two overprotective men like your Cloud and Reno are downright unoriginal and uninteresting. Try to maybe write something more thought-provoking, not something that makes monkey shit look like a good fic in comparison.

*laugh* One more thing to yell atcha about before I go: Reno is NOT cute in Advent Children! *sigh* They made him much to young-looking. Reno is supposed to be the cool older Turk, not the idiot young one.

But I suppose you wouldn't understand the sentimentality of that...judging by your fic, you think life is all about a sweet body, being more loved than all other girls, and having multiple young, sexy hotshits going all protective over your brainless ass.

o_o Shit, that was mean. I would say it's nothing personal, but it *is,* isn't it? Well, I did it for the sake of keeping my thanksgiving lunch in my stomach the next time I read a fic, not for the sake of harping on someone who's probably too stupid to understand half of what I just said.
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From ANON - Veritas on November 24, 2005
Erm... I don't know where to start.
What the hell was that? Did you just sit infront of the computer and think;
'I wonder what the worst thing i could ever write would look like'? Because in that case I think you found it.
It's a shame to have this in the same catagory, as some of the best Fiction you can find on the Net.
Use spellcheck and try writing a story where you can portray the characters a certain amount of elagance that they deserve.
Why create a desperatly projected image of yourself in the story. Now that is something I will never understand. Mary Sue's appeal to the writer only surely?
No one else wants to read about this 'Gorgeous girl' (A mere projection of how you want the world to percieve you) that has the unwavering affection of the lead character, to be honest.
I'd take the advice and criticism from others that have reviewed seriously and to heart if I were you.
This isn't so say you should cease to write, it's strongly suggesting that you should learn to write better. Put in more time and effort. You know a plot wouldn't go to waste either.
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From ANON - ShaolinZelda on November 23, 2005
I swear to fuckin god, if you write about Cloud raping Reno i will personally come over there and smack you. Now I am all for no limits on what you can write, and this si coming from someone who is in the process of writing a fiction where Sephiroth rapes cloud, but writing about something as delicate as rape has to be done tastefull, and you my friend don't seem to have teh brain capcity nor the writing talent to do so. And Cloud just coming out and saying "Oh I am going to rape Reno" is not like Cloud in any way. And your OC is really really stupid. Im sorry, but she is just way to EMO for my taste. And CLOUD wouldnt just kill someone are you insane? OMG Please I am sorry, usually I try to be nice, but learn write. Theres a different between putting some words on paper and actualy caring about your piece of work. It looks as if you just threw some words around and said "Okay time to send it" No feeling, nothing. Horrid.
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From ANON - Shadedfaith on November 23, 2005
Use spellcheck and never, ever write again as long as you live. You and the Mary-sue lot are what gives other fanfiction writers a fucking bad name. Please, you're a horrible writer -- honest to God, horrible -- and I hope you know this is my kindest consideration towards you.
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From ANON - acid on November 23, 2005
This has got to be one of the worse pieces of shit I've ever seen. I'm a very hard core CloudxReno fan. To have Cloud rape Reno over your Mary ass is sick. I feel sorry for them even to be in this shitty fic. WTF? Why would Cloud just go off and rape Reno anyways? Do us all a fave, and leave the fantasy in the bedroom with your dildo.
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From ANON - Hana on November 03, 2005
Er...okay.
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From ANON - ??????? on September 28, 2005
Oh my god! What the fuck.......*sighs and then walks off shaking head*
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From ANON - Se7en\'s Dice on September 26, 2005
When you put Mary Sue in the summary of course you are asking for a flaming.

I agree with Ed The Bus, especially in his second paragraph. I am completely horrified at this. @_@
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From ANON - Ziggyboo on September 20, 2005
Why do people think anyone wants to read their awful Mary Sue self inserts?? No one does. A note to the writer--please spell check, and learn to format the dialogue correctly. PLEASE.
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From ANON - Rktikfox on September 20, 2005
Jesus christ! ....ahh...*cough*MST*cough*
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