Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Phantom Dreams

By : Nuk
  • From RayneGewitter on February 17, 2010
    I would be highly honored to beta your story if you would allow me to do so... I greatly enjoy the plot thus far... :)
    ~Rayne
    Report Review

  • From Spophaloaf on May 25, 2009
    What a point to leave it at! No fair!
    I like where this story is going so far.

    I don't know if you have a beta at all, your story is good but i think your grammar could be improved. If you require a beta, I'm more than happy to help.

    Other than that keep up the good work :)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Wandering Critic on May 18, 2009
    "Instead of telling me to fix it. why don't you fix it. send it to me and I'll repost it."

    No, honeychild, that's YOUR job.

    So is spell-checking, proofreading, and using something that is at least a closer approach to proper English than what you've got here. "My life sucks" is no excuse for bad writing. Nobody cares how bad your life is; this isn't central dispatch for the waaaaaaambulance. We're here to read good stories. You're here to write them. I would suggest that you get started.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Sway on May 19, 2007
    I've beta'd the first chapter for you, but there is no email address to send it to. If you want to read it. Let me know.
    Report Review

  • From Sharon20 on May 03, 2007
    Wow, it has been a long time since I’ve read anything so poorly constructed. The spelling, grammar, and punctuation were horrible. Choose a tense and stick with it. Don’t go back and forth between present and past unless you want readers to report you for being underage, because anyone over 18 should know something so basic. Now, I never fault a writer for the program they use to write on, but in the end, there is no excuse for your poor grammar and spelling. Get a beta if you don’t know how to spell or write well. Don’t post stories that are so full of errors that readers won’t be able to read through the first paragraph without cringing. Obviously you’re free to post what you want, but I can only surmise that you are impatient after immediately posting so much at once. Generally authors post chapter-by-chapter, waiting until each chapter has been perfected before allowing the public to view them. Do you know why authors perfect their work? It’s because it’s embarrassing and disgraceful to post something that reads as though it were written by a ten year old.

    First, you did not punctuate with quotations properly, which is something most people learn in elementary school. I’ll give you an example taken right from the very first chapter.

    "Seifer."She said in greeting…
    >_< WRONG!

    "Seifer," she said in greeting…
    ^_^ RIGHT!

    I’m not even going to bother correcting the rest of the sentence that follows this bit. It was a run on. You should know when to use a period and stop yourself from ranting. If you think you’re simply being detailed about the character’s actions, then think again. It was simply funny that anyone would think such a sentence could be used. Also, you left a lot of spaces out. Why is there no separation between certain words that follow commas or quotes? You do realize there should be a space there, right? If you don’t, then I’m afraid you need more help with writing than I thought.

    You could have also written this dialogue like this:

    In greeting, she said, “Seifer.”

    I’m afraid there is far too much you need help with for me to ever address it all in a single, albeit longwinded, review. I’ll tell you what I tell all writers who post such error-riddled stories. There is absolutely no excuse for such poor work! Your work is a reflection of you as a person. You have many resources available to improve before posting, so I can only assume it’s because of laziness, lack of pride, and impatience. You can obviously use the Internet, which means you can also visit sites that teach proper grammar and punctuation. This site has a place to request betas, which means you can ask someone who knows what they’re doing to fix your work. Please don’t lower the bar for fanfiction by posting anymore of your poor work. I’m not saying you shouldn’t post again, but please enlist someone’s help and put a little effort into it.

    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!