Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Tri-Blessing

By : ScholarGirl
  • From KingofClonmel on October 08, 2017

    A nice read, with good writing style. Would definitely enjoy seeing more. This actually would make for a great background for an RP. Hope you continue writing more chapters!


    Report Review

  • From WonderMint on January 21, 2016
    To answer your first question... I think you should write whatever you're interested in. Everyone has their own interests. I'm not usually a fan of Yuri, though I'll definitely keep an eye on where you take it. But there are plenty of people who enjoy it, so I don't think you should feel constrained by popular acclaim. The sexiest story is going to be the one that turns you on.

    I think my major problem with the story is that it features the Warrior of Light. And it's not a problem with you, it's a problem with the character. I get highly weirded out by seeing other people's versions of them. It's like some kind of uncanny valley effect. Like if you looked in a mirror and saw yourself, but mirror-you had someone else's nose.

    Myself, I handle this three ways:
    1) don't let the WoL onstage. Talk about them in gender-neutral terms and focus the plot entirely on NPCs.
    2) Write from the perspective of the WoL and allow the reader to fill in their own version. I am not entirely convinced this works. I also hate doing it.
    3) Write a specific WoL that is constructed so generically as to make clear that they are a stand-in character. I use the Hyur in the opening video.

    You have opted to take the route I'd ignored, which is to write your own. Even more gutsy, you're doing two! And I say two instead of three because I believe I know who your third is. And it's the third that's making me curious where you're taking the story.

    For me... I like to read a story where I can get under the skin of the characters and feel like I really know them. That's why fanfiction is awesome. Because you have characters that you feel like you already know and love. But with your two WoL, you're essentially starting from scratch and writing totally new characters. Not only that, because they're WoL and not merely some NPC, I feel like you have to work even harder to displace the character your readers already feel should occupy that place in the world. I like that you've already established some personality for both of them, but for me to feel convinced, I'll need a bit more. Of course, the real meat and popotoes will happen once they're out adventuring together, so there's plenty of opportunity. But not everyone is patient enough to read five or more chapters to find out if they like a character. The first few chapters might need some more hooks, like visions of the Echo in the first chapter or somesuch to really give you a sense of urgency, destiny, eroticism, or hints as to the third WoL.

    If she's who I think she is, then you might garner some interest. Your readers have already had the opportunity to fall in love with NPCs, so that's definitely the most compelling direction to work in.

    As to your style, I find it readable, and the dream scene is certainly suggestive of more. My main issue with yuri, however, is that the way sex is described is often either so inaccurate or so lacking in detail that I lose the ability to care or focus. So I have to reserve judgment until I see more. There's definitely promise, though. I feel like you could spend more time on description and emotive content, but what you have is primarily about feeling, and that's a very good sign. So I'll be reading, even though this isn't my cup of tea, and I'm not your primary audience. And I'd definitely advise you to write what you like and not worry about whether anyone is reading, because it's all for fun anyway, right?
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!