rate_review Reviews

I don't think you need that much help with it. It is still fairly good. One thing I would suggest though is to put the date at the top of each chapter if you are going to skip around like that.

Can't really think of anything else you need to work on. Except that you might want to clarify if the sub girls interest are good or bad. Other than that is was fairly good.

Although I was reading it more as a book than an editor. But it still was good.

Thanks for your review. Excellent story you've done so far. It flows smoothly between chapters (wish I could say the same with mine).