rate_review Reviews

Yo, I like the chapter. The flow of the whole thing is very good. I would say you could smooth out a few rough spots, in particular some of the phrases following your dialogue. And maybe change some of the prepositional phrases at the beginning of some sentences. Over all, however, it is your usual tour de force. It made my panties wet. Or maybe I just pissed myself....

Thanks for the reviews everyone! Avinacode, I followed yr advice and edited all the flaws you shrewdly noticed in your latest review. So thanx for the tips... I never would have noticed them on my own.

Alright then, I am back! Re-read chapter 10 and read chapter 11.

Couple errors in chapter 10 that I missed before.

Eager to get the hell out of Headquarters, he left the lab and drifted toward the elevator. He usually took the stairs, but he was suddenly way too exhausted to even think about running down fifty more fights.
I think you mean fifty more flights.

Sephiroth didn’t seem to mind – in fact, Rufus thought he heard a muffled sigh – so he took the queue and grazed his fingers up to caress his thighs, then his slender, narcotic hips. I think you mean cue?

Alright then. Chapter 11 is excellent, not mushy at all, though it was twisting from chapter 10. Change is a bit more gradual. I'm glad you put the God complex back! It's brilliant! You've been using the phrase "Like a deer in headlights" a lot. Its becoming repetetive. It's in the beginning chapters, and its here in Chapter 11 as well. A question on this... Have you seen deer in FFVII? I don't mind it being used here, simly because your story is so brilliant, such a thing wouldn't do anything to it. But do stop using the same thing over and over again. That's all I have to say now. Rest assured, I will review even more when I reread the entire thing!

Stunning, I reread it and fell in love, again. D'= I wish someone would possesively want ME enough to rape me and degrade me as they called me theirs -sad sigh- If only

-stares for a moment, tilts head, then takes a deep breath and lets out a shriek of fangirlish delight- KYAAA! Beautiful. While I could only skim today, I'm taking a much more liesurely look tonight and giving a full review! -tries to steal Sephiroth, gets her hand slapped- ;.;

I'm not so good with reviews but fuck it.

I love your writing style! You know how to build up anticipation so well that I think I'm gonna die. Not to mention the little details you manage to slip in to make the characters' personalities seem real. A lot of other fic writers tend not to be able to do that, so reading this is a fresh breeze.
Also, while the characterization may not follow the family friendly FFVII we all know, you made the characters more dark and gritty in a way that's not hard to leap to. Sure, I guess it might be ooc for Reno to be the fucked up bastard he is in your fic, but the way you wrote it - it doesn't seem like he is.
Oh, and its pretty damn hot. Oh holy hell, yes it is.
So, well written + hot smut = fanbrats who need to take a cold shower a.s.a.p.
Sorry not to have any constructive criticism, but I'm too infatuated with your story to be nitpicky.
Desperately waiting for ch. 12!

Tisk, tisk. Not your best, but still enjoyable. The beginning was excellent - its a rather new idea that Sephiroth would actually go down to the lab and willingly tranquilize himself. I approve.

However, while talking about Hojo in the earlier chapters, there is no mention of him here except that he wasn't in the lab. Sephiroth completely forgot about him and his killing spree. Just started thinking about Rufus. You also are having Sephiroth repeat "You broke my heart" several times. I think you were thinking ahead while typing and not really paying attention to what you typed before because it was becoming redundant.

Darn, Sephiroth did care. What a shame. Oh well, it is your story. Go on, and bring on the sadism!

PS: It forshadowed that Rufus will be on top, he won't be, right? I hope not, but its your story after all. Go on, write more and stop leaving me in suspence. I would write more (I've read this the day it came up actually) but I really do have a lot of work right now and am not giving nearly as much critique anywhere as I hope to. So sorry.

Now let me make this perfectly clear, I am not, and I repeat...NOT a fan of BDSM. Not even rape that much. I'm a yaoi fanbitch but... come on.. what lady in her right mind isn't? Now onto the review. ...I didn't find anything about this story offensive. Or even that bad.. perhaps I'm insane as well but.. God this story did it all. Turned me on, Made me smile, made me cry, made me squeal in girlish delight. You have such an extreme talent and I am so amazed by your work. It's raw and vicious and hateful and at the same time loving and just gentle enough.. well just not violent enough to get the point across. I mean, You immortalized these characters and in the same sentance... made them so very human.. and real. I love your work, I love your mind. And please contact me at enigmatickitsune@hotmail.com. I'd like to be an avid fangirl and acquaintance at the least! I am begging you to keep writing and keep shocking me into loving all of this crazy, bloody shit

Yo Lauren, I heard a rumor at Venture Data that you did some writing on fan fiction so I decided to go looking, and see if I could find your work. Goddamnit it sure took a while. I had to read quite a few accounts of Muldor getting buttfucked by Scully with a strap-ons... and countless other tales of misadventure before I finally found your stuff at Final Fantasy VII. I should have known... it would be... Sepiroth. I just wanted to tell you that I'm surprised that you are such a good writer. I'm very impressed. Because at work, it is quite apparent that you are a great sketch artist, as well. I can only imagine some of the other areas you're talented in. Oh yeah! Hey, I just wanted to see if maybe you might want to meat for coffee or a beer sometime. I think you're really hot and would like to get to know you a little better. Lt me know what you think... Matt.

Great chapter^^