rate_review Reviews

Very erotic, and one of the better fics I've read with this pairing. I like how you made Cloud strong and defiant--but not overly so. There was still vulnerability and humanity there, and that was refreshing. The hunt was nicely done, and gave hints to the deeper pain that Cloud had over Tifa and the others. The conflict over his conscience was a good touch, since realistically, how would you deal with being a God's plaything?

Speaking of that, the angst was handled well without making Cloud out as some whiny kid (as some stories have the unfortunate way of doing). You handled Sephiroth well--again, a decent balance of hard and sensual without making him over-dramatic, or cheesy. The sex was hot, but I think you know that...lol. Some nice imagery there and I wish the producers of Advent Children included a bonus disk with these scenes...nummy.

Okay, now that I've said what I liked, I have some nitpicks.

I want you to go back sometime when you have nothing else to do, or perhaps whenever you plan on revising this fic--and count how many 'ly' words you have. Adverbs are what modifies a verb, and an overabundance is well--an overabundance. They make your writing weak in some areas...since most of these sentences are cheater sentences. Instead of saying: "Sephiroth said hungrily" Say "Sephitorth said, a hungry gleam in his eyes." Or, just say (I know, I know, it's hard)"said" and leave it at that. OR again you can perhaps make Sephiroth perform an action in place of the 'said'. I had a huge problem with adverbs when I started back writing; they are easy to use. But try and take my advice to watch those. Four or five 'ly' words in a paragraph is overkill and you should omit most of them. Don't omit them all together, but use them sparingly.

To be's: Try and get rid of those. They can usually (not all the time...since the quote: "to be or not to be" is perfectly fine...lol), be replaced with a stronger verb.

Last thing I noticed: try and watch your 'ed's' at the end of words--when they should be 'es's'. I caught a few : 'inched' when it should have been 'inches' and I few others I can't remember offhand. They are scattered pretty good, though, so they really don't detract from the reading.

Overall, nice work, and this fic makes me wish we had our rec's back. I would definitely recommend it.

Hot Hot Hot

Ohhh very twisted....I like it! I've been looking for an exceptional Cloud fic, seems like this one might be it. I look forward to what the other chapters hold. *goes to molest the other chapters*

I'm sorry that it took me so long to get to this chappie, but it was well worth the wait. OMG! Hot, Hot, HOT! I can't wait for a little more (or a LOT more as the case may be).

Is there more? Is there more? *bounces impatiently* This is so hot and sad and I love it. I'm waiting right here until you update. *does so*

YOSH!! ^_^ That was AWESOME!!!!! They get teh man-smex FOREVAH!! I like this Sephy VERY much, in fact!! ^_^ Will there be more smutastic chappies for your adoring fans?! EH?! There should be! I give you a GOLDEN cookie, because, well, this story just ranked that high! YAY!

OMG!!!!!!!!! O_O Man, Sephiroth is one hot bastard in this and I’m not even a fan of him or even this pairing!! But damn, this is like so friggin’ good!

OMG OMG. That was just sooo wrong and right. Ahhhhhh!! I just love how you bring out Cloud's petulant defiance. He acts like a child, even though he doesn't want to be treated like one ---> "I'm not your plaything. Let me go!"

And then you bring out his very real, tortured anger, with lines like ---> "A gift?! You just stole the last bit of humanity I had left and you're calling it a fucking gift?!" He shook with his fury, unbelieving of the injustice that had just been wrought on him. and you can't help but feel for him....

And I love this whole healing thing. It's so very convenient. :D :D :D :D

5 fuckin' stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn you, why did you take so long. :p Moooooorrrrre! :3

I have read all of your stories (all hte AC ones, anyway - my FF knowledge is really only limited to the movie... ^^) and I enjoyed every single one. I don't think I could pick a favourite, from Scarlet's Toy to Love Potion and its sequels (I can't wait for you to update "Unexpected"!!!), and this latest one, they are all fantastically written, entirely believable, and incredibly HOT and dirty in a good way, all despite the entirely odd pairings!! Please keep updating this story. My favourite aspect of your writing is that you really make the characters believable, even when you place them in completely wacko situations. LOL! I can't watch the Sephiroth/Cloud battle scene without smirking a little, ever since this fic!!!!! Great job!!! I give 5 stars to all your other fics too! I would review them all individually but I'm a lazy asshole.... but I want to let you know that they totally blow me away!!!

First of all... I wanna thank you for making my day. Ive had a bad week and, wow, this was amazing! I read all seven chapaters and I was squealing! Great work! ^_^ If you are intending to write more I appreciate it very very very very much! <333333333