rate_review Reviews

Question marks are your friend.

wow./... this was very good :) you should definately do more on this :) very hot../. and cool !!!

I love Chaos/whoever pairings, he needs to be written about more often! And this, was hot! :D I especially like the scene with Reno flirting with Tifa.

Very interesting. When will it continue? It feels unfinished.

please update soon! what will reno say in the morning?
ASOTA

Hello. This is an interesting story. Needs to be run by a beta, but decent enough. I'll give a few beta marks. First, you abuse "the other" too much. The redhead, the brunette, the smaller Turk, the possessed ex-Turk, Chaos, Reno; these pronouns would be better than the near constant use of "the other". It can be used, don't get me wrong, but one paragraph had "the other" used like four times. It was only a two sentence paragraph. Also, paragraphs should be broken when the perspective changes. The dialogue of two separate characters (or three as used a few times) should never be in the same paragraph. New person talking, new paragraph. Otherwise, this was a good job, if a little rushed.

I like this a lot. update soon, plz!
only thing that i noticed was the *slight* overusage of Reno saying 'yo'.