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October 6, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love the psychological ride that poor Squall is taking. It really adds to the tension. Nice work.
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September 28, 2009 at 12:00 AM
awesome chapter again ^^ Your depiction of their personalities
is on spot, can't wait to read more!
is on spot, can't wait to read more!
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September 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Another amazing chapter Chem! Squall seems a little easy to overpower though... I loved that he healed the behemoth cub, and that he lashed out and landed a heavy blow to Seif's jaw. Seifer's personality is just great. I look forward to more chapters!
Point of edit: "eight" should be "eighth" in a few places.
I'm also insanely jealous that you're actually expending creativity in your writing class. Mine's been lackluster so far :(
Point of edit: "eight" should be "eighth" in a few places.
I'm also insanely jealous that you're actually expending creativity in your writing class. Mine's been lackluster so far :(
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September 11, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I love this turbulent. Your writing style is wonderful even the spar was engaging. Nice work!
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September 9, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Oh Chem, I melt every time I read your writing. And thank you so much for the honor of a private address *blush* I'm glad I could help!
I look forward to future developments in the story line; I really like the friendship you built between Squall and Quistis--it's not a common connection in fanfiction. I also think you portray Squall's thoughts wonderfully, especially when he's spending time with his friends and is surprised to realize how well they understand him and the lengths they go to in order to accommodate his social preferences.
I look forward to future developments in the story line; I really like the friendship you built between Squall and Quistis--it's not a common connection in fanfiction. I also think you portray Squall's thoughts wonderfully, especially when he's spending time with his friends and is surprised to realize how well they understand him and the lengths they go to in order to accommodate his social preferences.
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September 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is intense, I like that. I really like what you are doing with these two, the relationship is wonderfully turbulent.
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September 8, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This story is absolutely brilliant! I'm guilty of being one of those people who don't review fics very often (while it's not a valid excuse, I mostly blame this more on the fact that I read through my PSP, which pretty much makes it impossible to review at all), but I absolutely HAD to take the moment to drop you some praising words, just to let you know that your work is being read and is being *really* enjoyed. Really *really* enjoyed!
I hope to see more from you shortly, and keep up the great work!
~Flying Bs.
I hope to see more from you shortly, and keep up the great work!
~Flying Bs.
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September 7, 2009 at 12:00 AM
I’m enjoying every moment of your story. As impatient as I get to read more lemon action, I love slow progressions. Awesome chapter. I can’t wait for more ^_^
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August 13, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Another great installment! I was happy to find it waiting for me this morning ^_^
As always, your writing is descriptive and colorful. I look forward to the next chapter.
Thank you, as always, for your words!
A couple of things to check:
1. "remembering how quickly their trail had been resolved" should say "their trials"
2. "angry at the blond for having left" I suggest changing to "leaving" (stronger verb)
3. "Squall could all to vividly image" should be "too"
4. "gray-blue eyes shut close" I suggest "closed" (or "shut") rather than "shut close"--it just reads awkwardly
I just want to note, that I realize I'm nit-picking small details, but your writing is really great and I rarely bother to offer edits on anything. Yours is worth fine-tuning, in my opinion.
As always, your writing is descriptive and colorful. I look forward to the next chapter.
Thank you, as always, for your words!
A couple of things to check:
1. "remembering how quickly their trail had been resolved" should say "their trials"
2. "angry at the blond for having left" I suggest changing to "leaving" (stronger verb)
3. "Squall could all to vividly image" should be "too"
4. "gray-blue eyes shut close" I suggest "closed" (or "shut") rather than "shut close"--it just reads awkwardly
I just want to note, that I realize I'm nit-picking small details, but your writing is really great and I rarely bother to offer edits on anything. Yours is worth fine-tuning, in my opinion.
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July 31, 2009 at 12:00 AM
God your writing sends chills down my spine. I absolutely /love/ this story and how you're unfolding it. The way the two fall into easy routine with each other, working together in perfect synchronization without saying a word... and then all of it shattered by someone else's interference (Quistis's, no less; /perfect/). It's all so deliciously good.
I don't know if you have an editor or a beta, or whatever, but there are a couple of simple typos that caught my eye (two instances of "the the" and a couple things with verbs or something)--just thought you might like to be made aware.
Can't wait for the next section!!
I don't know if you have an editor or a beta, or whatever, but there are a couple of simple typos that caught my eye (two instances of "the the" and a couple things with verbs or something)--just thought you might like to be made aware.
Can't wait for the next section!!