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The Kissing of a Blackened Rose	By : psychoferret Category: Final Fantasy Games > Final Fantasy IX Views: 1391 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy IX, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-The Kissing of a Blackened Rose
- 1
The Kissing of a Blackened Rose

Loneliness. It?s an overwhelming emotion. It spurs depressions, rage? slaughters. Every Human has experienced it once in their life.

But what about those living creatures not considered to be human? Genomes. Creatures created to be like Humans but fused with the urge for domination? destruction. Bombarded by the constant want of power? of death. Some genomes seem to be almost obsessed with it. Snatching up people?s lives from them for the "greater good." Killing, destroying? their demeanor malicious and viewed mentally unstable by the common man.

I am one of those genomes. I am Kuja. Yes, the same Kuja who destroyed half the world in his lust for power.

Loneliness. Why have I gone on about it? Why did I speel about the genomes?

Because I want to know if this thing that I?m feeling is Loneliness.

Garland, my creator, is destroyed. Then why am I still here? My name strikes fear in the heart of common man, and yet, I do not lust for the power I once did. I, for once, do not understand.

Now I am the one overwhelmed with distress.

Despite attempts to suppress it, I still loathe my "brother." Zidane, my better half, still haunts my mind. I feel anger towards him, and yet? there?s something more.

I hhim,him, but I cannot help but feel something else towards him. I can?t help but wisr thr the best for him.

But genomes, we?re not Human. Gentle Human emotions should not be ours as well.

Love, sorrow, and hope? they do not belong to monsters such as myself.

And yet I feel this thing inside me that I swear is gentle. How much is it that I care for Zidane? And does he care for me?

Such is my endless torture. Forever interrogating myself because of that lost confidence. I once was a crazed, powerful magician. Now I am nothing but a fool. A street performer forced to sell himself for the nourishment he needs to stay alive.

I am still as young as I ever was and just as alive.

Or was I even alive?

So here I sit, drowning myself in the tears of amber liquid spilling into the mug before me. I am a frequent patron of this tavern, if not only to see his face when he visits.

Zidane is to be wed to the new Queen, as I expected. But every day he comes here, he looks more and more troubled. And each day he fails to notice me.

Not that I deserve his attentions.

Here. The doors behind me open once more. It is 7:40. He?s earlier than usual. The familiar calls and laughter float from people?s open mouths, directed at him. I, as usual, stay silent. Odd, I think, he doesn?t respond to them. The noise once more dies down to its normal level, and once more I burrow my dark thoughts in the chilled mug and liquid within.

I hear a stool shift beside me. A glance over reveals thick blonde locks, a small, lithe body, strongly handsome features, and a long, thin tail.

The object of my troubled thoughts sits here beside me and I can do nothing. I dare not touch or speak to him. I have no right.

"Hey Kuja." I start, almost knocking over the mug.

"Erhm? hello." I feel my heartbeat quicken. He?s speaking to me, even after all that I did?

"I?ve noticed you sitting here every day for quite some time."

Oh Gods? He?s being friendly.

"How?s life treating you?" He asks me in a tone of voice one would ask the time. Why does he treat me to these treats?

"?I am? surviving." That is more than I deserve.

"That?s it?"

"Mm?" I dare not speak of anything else going on with me. "How is Garnet?" For some reason, there?s the residue of bitterness in my voice. Is it jealousy?

He grins at me. That same cheeky grin I remembered. "Don?t even bother asking. We fight constantly."

"I thought you loved her?" I take a short drink from the mug, looking down into the depths of amber that hypnotize me with their beauty.

"I did too. Apparently I don?t. She?s not like she was during our travels. We both want to call it off, but we known it would damage her reputation and my own."

"Terrible."

"Yeah. But I did find someone I do love. ?Course, it?ll never work out. I?m not sure he?ll like the idea."

He? Did he just say he?

"I pray you are happy with this person. It?s the least you deserve. After all, you saved the world from a ruthless villain only concerned with his own power." I freeze my speech. He?s touching my face.

Ah. Those callused fingers brushing against my lips only flare the desire within me. His fingers haven?t left my flesh. I look at him, my lips ever so slightly parted.

He?s smiling.

"Do you know who I?m speaking about, Kuja?"

I?m awestruck. He?s beautiful. I cannot will my voice to work.

And then, I am taken by surprise.

He grips my chin in his hand, keeping me still. He presses his lips against mine, fleshy tiers smashed against my own. His eyes flutter halfway closed, obviously waiting for my reaction.

I could destroy him in an instant, and yet I cannot.

Without realizing it, I?m kissing him back. I part my lips, giving entrance to his waiting tongue.

He?s exploring the inside of my mouth, massaging it with talented strokes. And then he pulls away, letting go of me.

The kiss leaves me breathless. I sit there, facing him for a moment.

"Kuja," his voice is no louder than a husky whisper, "I fell in love with the very man I worked to save the world from."

Several times I have felt my heart skip a beat. The feelings that overwhelm me when I cast a complex spell. How I felt when I absorbed a new Eidolon. But never have I felt a thing as keen as this.

He smiles at me.

"Come stay with us, Kuja." I start. An instago Igo I was musing about my loneliness, and now my former enemy wishes me to stay with him and his fiancée. "Dagger offered to let me bring in someone else since our relationship?s not going smoothly and neither of us is willing to break it up for the sake of our reputations."

"But you?re willing to have an affair within the castle walls with the same man you fought against?" It is the first thing I?ve said since the kiss.

Am I going to deny myself the chance to be with my one desire?

"Kuja, you don?t seem to understand. Dagger?s giving me a chance to have anyone stay with us. Anyone I want. And Kuja," his voice drops lower, "I want you."

Once again my heart skips. He looks at me questioningly, longingly. I nod hesitantly, afraid that any sharp movement may wake me from this dream I wish never to end. He smiles warmly, hand dipping to caress my cheek.

Thank the Gods he hasn?t noticed how thin I?ve become, how ragged. Or perhaps he has, and this is some plot to humiliate me further. Maybe somehow he knows how much laughing at me, how much him laughing at me, would hurt.

Deep down I pray he doesn?t know how I?ve earned what little Gil I have. To find out the once-powerful Kuja has been forced to become a street whore.

"But? why me?" My voice is filled with self loathing. I no longer care if he sees how bitter I?ve become. I know I deserve worse.

"You?re perfect. Beautiful, smart, talented. Kuja, you?re my love. The object of my affection for the longest time. Day and night, Kuja, I think about you." He?s stroking my cheek now. Long, thin digits brushing against my face with agonizing slowness. "How many times must I say I love you, Kuja?"

Then a sudden, mischievous grin appears on his face.

"I?ll prove it to you."

He snags my hand, tosses some change on the counter, and pulls me out the door. We pause to let our eyes adjust to the sunlight.

"Zidane, what-"

"Shh. I?m going to make you believe me. Make you believe that I?m not going to treat you like a whore."

Oh gods. He does know. I feel myself go red, embarrassed beyond help.

He leads me into a nearby patch of forest. Not once has he let go of my hand. I feel a slight flutter of fear stir in my heart. My chest hurts.

And yet, there?s a warmth spreading through my body, its origin from the touch of his hand.

We reach a semi-open spot. He stops, and for the first time during our run, he lets my hand go.

When he releases my fist, I feel as if an icy cold is seeping into my bones. But instantly it is pushed back as my lips are once more enveloped in a passionate kiss.

His hands are on me. Fingers grazing over my silken clothing wonderingly.

I still wear the outrageously revealing clothing I used to, and somehow it has retained its silvery splendor.

His digits toy shortly with the buckles of my armor, attempting to unlatch it. With a clatter muffled by the lush grass, the breastplate and shoulder guards tumble to the forest floor. Both of us sink to our knees, aware of what will happen later. He cups the back of my neck with one hand and begins to suckle gently on the cleft of my neck and shoulder. His tongue massages the flesh with small, circular motions, sucking a little harder to ensure a faint hickey on my ivory flesh later.

I cannot hold back the soft moan of his name.

His other, wandering hand slips under the light cloth of my short tunic, pinching and playing with my already hardening nipples.

The hand on my neck has moved to the back of my skull, immersing the fingers in my soft lavender locks. He idly wraps locks around his fingers, his mouth now having moved lower to the expanse of chest just above the top of my shirt.

All the while, his fingers continue to tease my painfully erect nipples. Several other times I have moaned at his attention.

Now my shirt is gone, fluttering to the soft ground beside my armor.

The rosy scars acquired at the end of my campaign of terror are revealed.

I wait for the disgust, the ridicule? but none comes. He continues his pleasured torture as if nothing is out of the ordinary, and I can all but stop him.

My mind is fogged by sweet desire. I think no longer. His grace and beauty holds me transfixed. This insatiable hunger of mine overwhelming me and destroying my senses of logic and reason.

I am an animal. A ravenous creature with a burning desire that will never be quenched. Perhaps the old Kuja is coming back. Gods help us if he does.

He kisses me again, catching my lips with his. His palms press gentle circles in my stomach, and he pushes me onto my back. He straddles me, hands now beside either side of my head. I look up at him, eyes watching his every move.

He leans over, the mischievous grin fading to a loving smile.

His lips are beside my left ear. I can feel his heated breath quivering with desire.

"I?ve waited for this for so long. Do you know how much I want you?"

To accentuate the spoken syllables, he grinds out erections together with the buck of his hips.

Both of us groan in unison, I arching my back and lifting my hips off the ground. He nibbles shortly on my earlobe before kissing his way down my neck and chest.

Without realizing it, my bottoms join to other discarded clothing.

I lay here beneath Zidane?my one desire?nude, while his is there above me, clothed.

He touches me, exploring the newly revealed skin. I?m on fire. Every place he touches flares with passionate heat.

I hear his breath catch in his throat. I force myself to lift my head and look at him.

He stares down at the series of healing cuts and scars on my wrists. I can?t help but bite down on my lower lip as I rest my head back on the grass. I can feel him running his fingers over the wounds and the dark bruises on my hips. The work I do does not insure the lack of injuries, especially self-inflicted.

Oh god? every moment it gets worse. He?s falling farther into my trap of darkness.

"Kuja? why?" It is whispered to me, so softly. Perhaps I am imagining the care in his voice, the worry. No one before him cared, so why should he?

I do not answer his question, afraid that I may break down in front of him. This life I now live is far too hard for me. Too big of a change. And yet, I deserve this. I deserve to live a poor man?s life. I deserve all this pain and suffering, for I caused so much more. I don?t deserve happiness.

"Why do you hurt yourself, Kuja? and? why do you let them hurt you??"

I don?t ever notice that I?m responding until I?ve already spoken.

"Why should I stop them? I deserve the pain I get, and more. Zidane? you don?t understand how hard this sudden change is for me. How one moment, I was the most powerful man in the world? and now? I?m nothing but a street-" one more I am interrupted. His lips embrace mine. Apparently, he?s heard enough.

"Stop this self-loathing, Kuja. It?s not like you. I can?t stand to see you like this. Whether you like it or not, you?re going to stay with Dagger and myself. But first?" He kisses my neck again, running his finger teasingly across my shaft. "?we finish what we started." I groan, eyes fluttering closed to slits.

Ah, for once. It feels so good to lay beneath someone so gentle, beneath him and do nothing. I think he realizes this, for now, he?s gone back to playing with me.

He shoves his tongue into my navel, drawing a sharp gasp from myself. My hips lift in slight, but he forces them back down to the ground with gentle hands, careful to avoid the bruises. Silently, I thank him.

He?s leaving trails of wetness down my thighs, avoiding my throbbing cock. I bite on my lower lip. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Ugh, it infuriates me. I want release. I need it. And he, the terrible man, knows it.

I can feel his breath, heated and shaking, releasing itself onto my groin. I throw my head back against the ground, face screwed into a look of, surely, frustration and pleasure both. My hands are immersed in the grass, fingers curling until I have hold on the green silky plants.

I hear him chuckle softly.

"What is it, Kuja?" His voice is like husky silk, flowing from those enchanting lips of his and taunting my waiting ears. He has total control over me.

"Re? lease?" It slips out of my swollen lips, no louder than that of a whispering mouse. Oh, my breath comes ever faster, a slight sheen of glimmering sweat coating my body.

I almost scream as he takes my entire length into his mouth. My breath catches in my throat, and I swear I?m about to come, but he pulls away, suckling only on the tip, tongue swirling circles about the head. Ugh, he?s driving me insane.

And slowly, he begins to take me in wholly again. Inch by inch, so slow it almost hurts to attempt to control myself. And then I cannot take it.

With one upward thrust of my hips, I feel myself being emptied. My lips part, and out comes a scream of his name as my seed empties into his throat.

A deep groan of my own given alias shortly after tells me what his other hand had been doing.

For a moment, we both lay there, panting as our lungs struggle to calm our harsh breaths.

"And now," he says, having rolled onto his back in the lush grass, "to report to Dagger. Get dressed. We?ll head up to the castle, find you a room, and get you settled. After all, sweet, innocent Dagger already has been occupied enough lately. And it?s not with me."

"Then? with who?" I tiredly pull myself up, and quickly don my discarded clothing. Oh, ?tis a shame. I would have liked to lay there beside my furry tailed imp in the greenery of the forest.

"Our Little Eiko. She and Dagger have found a lot in each other." I start, staring at him with wide, blue eyes.

He grins back at me. "Meaning you and I have more time together."

I suppose he really does mean for us to have a future together. How ironic it seems. The hero and his foe now will lie in the same bed. He stands, now having appropriately covered himself, and runs a hand through my matted, sweaty locks of silken hair. A tender, not yet forceful kiss is placed upon my lips, and then he turns, eyes facing the heavens.

The prospects before me are numerous. Do I take the path I deserve, or the newest one given to me? Do I go on to live with my desire, and let him kiss away my pains, or do I continue on the path I now tread, leading a life of horror and pain? Do I still wish to punish myself so?

Only time will tell.

After all, the kisses from a blackened rose can only last so long?
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The Kissing of a Blackened Rose