Midgar Thearter 5002 and 3/4

Midgar Thearter 5002 and 3/4
((Note, > thing means it’s the original story, while the tabbed text is the MST. * are actions and the talking is just there... MST is done in script form... thanks!)

Rude: Greetings, this is the time of day where the former Turks, Elena...
Elena: Hey.
Rude: Reno,
Reno: Heeeeeeeey
Rude: Tseng
Tseng: *On P.A.* Hello
Rude: And myself flame some worthwhile fictions...
with permission from their authors.
Elena: Oops...
Rude: What is it?
Elena: I didn’t get permission.
Reno: Leave it to her...
Tseng: *On P.A.* Today we MST a really shitty fiction
by our friend Rasso, who
in the story itself asked if we wished to MST it, tell him
so he can read it...
Elena: Shitty fiction? I’ve done tons of these...
Rude: None like this before....
Reno: Bring it on!
Tseng: *On P.A.* Beginning fiction...


>I do not own these characters.

Rude: Then take Elena, PLEASE! We’ll plea bargin with Square Enix for
you to TAKE HER! No charge!
Elena: How rude, Rude.
Reno: Not like anyone would take her for free...
Rude: Then how about we give her to you with a
gold chocobo and Ultima Weapon?

>Cloud Mows the Lawn

Elena: What an ingenious title... sort of mysterious and...
Reno: OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!
Elena: Trying to scare me?
Rude: He scared all my hair out!
Elena and Reno: ..........

>By Rasso

Elena: *bowing to the screen* All hail the mighty
fiction writer...
Rude: Give it up woman...

>Tifa knelt by the window with her arms were rested on the window sill.

Elena: Is it just me or was that sentence horribly written?
Rude: Grammatical error.
Reno: Who are you, a professor of Midgarian?
Rude: *holds up Dipolma*
Elena and Reno: ... ... ...

>She sighed in contentment,

Elena: As opposed to me, who is sighing by now in BOREDOM!
Rude: Give it a chance...
Reno: Tseng picked this one to flame, now FLAME IT!
Rude: *lights torch* Got it...
Elena: NOT LIKE THAT! PUT THAT OUT!
Rude: *puts torch out*

>gazing outside. Cloud was out front, mowing the lawn. His shirt
>was off, which was a big turn-on for Tifa, his wife of two weeks. Tifa >laughed as she
>realized she could stare at him all day.

Reno: With or without gagging?
Elena: Me? Without...
Rude: Me too... and he wasn’t wearing his shirt? Eww...Elena: A line borrowed from Yuffie... GROSSNESS!

> She was rather sad he would finish eventually.
>He worked out everyday, and his chest really showed that. He was the
>sexiest
>man Tifa ever saw.

Elena: He’s also the most clueless, the strangest...
the biggest bonehead, shall I continue?
Rude: We’d rather you not...

>That didn’t make Tifa fall in love with him, though. They grew up >together, and they
>had secret crushes on each other throughout adolescence. Cloud
>proposed to her the
> day after their long adventure, and she immediately accepted. She
>would never
>forget that moment, when she felt like she and Cloud were alone in >space. They married
> a week after he proposed, and were rarely seen outside after that.

Elena: What were YOU doing?
Rude: Elena... *sighs*
Elena: What???
Reno: Are you really that naive or is that just for show?
Elena: No, really, what were they doing?

>Anyways, back to the story. Tifa was in the master bedroom on the >second floor of their
> new house, watching the man of her dreams cut the grass. The twenty->year-old woman
>was watching him mow the lawn for the seventh time.

Rude: Because he has nothing better to do.
Elena: Was that in one day?
Reno: I think he does it every other day...

> It was a hobby of hers, and the
>fact that they had a huge yard and that it would take Cloud an extra >long time to
>cut it. Watching how strong he was, she would not move for anything.

Elena: Anything?

>Suddenly, Tifa felt a slight rumble in her stomach, but she ignored it. >She was

Elena: Even food?
Rude: Something tells me that it isn’t food...
Reno: Uh, can we get some vomit buckets in here?
>having too good of a time watching Cloud. The best par the

Reno: Two The’s? Man, this neeeds spelll checker...
Elena: Hush, you do too.
Rude: What’s a Par?
Elena: I think they mean ParT.

> the mowing routine was the end, when he would come upstairs to >shower. Right
>before he entered the bathroom, she would ask Cloud if they could >take a shower
>together. They would always end up kissing throughout the shower, and >they would
>leave in a better mood than ever.

Elena: JUST kissing?
Rude: Really Elena, we need to get you laid.
Reno: Don’t look at me, I ain’t sticking my dick up that!
Elena: Yet you sleep around with tons of women...
Reno: That’s different, I pay for their drinks...

>She was so sure he would let her shower with her that
>she was not wearing underwear under her black mini-skirt.

Reno: Now THAT’S what I am talking about! SEXY!

>She felt her stomach rumble again, and sighed. She really didn’t want >to leave. She wanted
> tay tay there for the longest time, watching he husband do the yard. >Of course she

Reno: Tay Tay?
Elena: I think it means ‘To Stay’
Rude: Okay, I think her stomach is grumbling from
food pains, or at least... I HOPE
Reno: As do I...

>knew he would do it again, and again, and again, but she cherished >every minute of
>watching him, she could not bear to stop.

Reno: What’s the word for finding sexual pleasure
from watching one mow grass?
Rude: Idiot-sadio-masocism
Reno: That’s what I am...
Elena: Really?
Rude: WHAT?

>Tifa’s stomach rumbled again, louder than the first two times. She >realized she had to
>think of what to do, and quickly. She could run and return immediately, >but
Reno: But she wouldn’t make it to the kitchen and back
in time...
Rude: What?
Elena: She must be hungry, you need a lot of food to
feed those bodacious ta-ta’s that
she has...

>then she would miss some of the lawn mowing. Her second option was >to stay and
>clean up after herself, but the fear of getting caught made her feel
>uneasy. This feeling

Reno: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?
Rude: She’s going to vomit?
Reno: *grabs vomit bucket* If I do, I am ready...

>caused her stomach to rumble more. Tifa looked down. The floor was a >brand
>new and very expensive tile floor. It was not a very pleasant idea for >her to mess it up.

>“Whatever,” muttered Tifa. “When a girl has to shit, a girl has to shit!”

Elena: She’s going to do WHAT?
Reno: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
Rude: Reno’s ‘electro-rod’ just ran for cover...
Reno: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo
Elena: Stop screaming Reno...
Reno: *takes big breath in*

>Tifa’s black skirt was actually a wrap-around, and it was easy to >remove.
>Soon, she was bottomless.

Reno: That’d be hot if it weren’t for the fact she is
going to shit everywhere...
Rude: You can say that again...
Reno: That’d be hot if it weren’t for the fact...
Elena: *smack* Shut up.

>Tifa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pushed and grunted >over again,
>until she felt her anus stretch.

>“This is it!” she said aloud, while still pushing and grunting.

Elena: We demand a raise Tseng, do you hear
me? *banging on wall*
Tseng: *On P.A.* Sit down and finish the fiction...
> A crackling sound filled her ears as the turd finally slid out of her body.

Reno: Do we really need visuals?
Rude: My eyes...they sting...

>It was a hard one, dark brown and

Elena: Grand, remind me never to eat any chocolate again...
Rude: Want a Hershey bar?
Elena: Okay...
Rude: It’s a little melted, but its still good...
Reno: Gross... that looks like
Rude: Zip it.

>compressed together. And boy did it stink.

Elena: I can smell it from here...
Rude: What did she eat?

>Tifa didn’t mind the smell of her own

Reno: Just as the author doesn’t mind the smell of his
own works?
Rude: Well... I can’t contradict you there...

>droppings, but she knew it would be difficulty to get away with this.

Elena: I can smell it from here...
Rude: Enough Elena...

>With Tifa’s shit sitting on the floor, she felt slightly relieved. Tifa let out >a long, gassy fart.
> She giggled, for she tended to have gassy poops. Her relief soon >ended, however, as

Elena: I never fart, it isn’t lady like...
Reno: Neither is killing...
Rude: Neither is drinking so much beer.
Tseng: *On P.A.* Neither is propositioning your boss
for sex...
Elena: ...

> she felt another log traveling from her colon to her rectum. She >pushed again, and the turd
> began to slide out. Unfortunately for poor Tifa, it got stuck halfway.

Reno: To Much Information...
Rude: Make it stop...Elena: I do NOT need that picture when I am going to
sleep tonight...

>“I’ll bet that feels good!” said Cloud from behind her.

Elena: Don’t tell the world...

>Tifa immediately jumped up in shock. She was so focused on expelling >what was
>in her gorgeous bowels


Reno: First time in history I have heard the words
‘gorgeous’ and ‘bowels’ in the same
sentence...
Elena: And also the last...

>that Cloud finished the lawn and came up to the bedroom. So
>there she was, standing there, in a white t-shirt, white socks, red >sneakers, and no
>pants or underwear, and with five inches of shit sticking out of her ass >in front of the love
>of her life. Tifa began to cry, and Cloud approached her and hugged >her. She didn’t

Elena: Gross...
Rude: That is a private moment I want to have PRIVATELY
Reno: This is exactly why I lock the bathroom door.

>care her shirt became drenched with his sweat. She wanted her man. >She even felt a bulge
> in his pants, and realized that her taking a dump turned him on.

Reno: That is one of the only things that do not turn me on...
Rude: Taking a dump?
Reno: Yes,
Elena: What doesn’t turn you on?
Reno: I’m not sure...
Rude: Mice Traps?
Reno: No, they turn me on....
Rude: ... ...
Elena: How about Yaoi?
Reno: No, oddly, that turns me on...
Elena: ... then what doesn’t turn you on?
Reno: I know Fig Nutons don’t turn me on... and
Clowns... and Tseng.
Tseng: *on P.A.* I heard that...
Rude: That’s a good thing Tseng...
Tseng: *on P.A.* Not for all my FanFictions out there
it isn’t.
>To Tifa’s surprise, Cloud turned her around and lowered her onto her >hands and knees. Tifa
>was puzzled at first, wondering what he would do, but that puzzle was >soon solved as
>Cloud guided his dicwardward

Elena: I think they mean... Dickward forward...
Reno: That’s still gross...
Rude: He’s not going to...

>her anus and the shit that hung from it. Cloud moaned as
>Tifa’s warm poo mashed against his dick. They had had anal sex many >timesbefore,
>but never with a huge turd stuck in Tifa's ass!

Reno: That’s another thing that doesn’t turn me on...
having anal sex with someone
who either just shit or needs too...
Rude: Gross... give me the puke bucket.

>Suddenly, Cloud’s dick set the poo that had been stuck in Tifa’s ass >free. Tifa’s rectum
>expelled turdturd. Tifa farted again, and Cloud felt a pleasant breeze >on his member.

Elena: Turd turd? Do they mean Turd after Turd?
Reno: Gross...
Rude: *using barfing bucket*

>“Thanks!” exclaimed Tifa.

>“Hey, no problem,” said Cloud. “I’m going to shower. Wanna get in there with me?

Reno: I am going to shower and scrub my poor dick
with sandpaper now...
Tseng: *On P.A.* Sit right there, it isn’t over yet...
Rude: We may need De-tox after this one...

>Cloud and Tifa at the Mall
>By Rasso

Reno: Bet you aren’t worshiping the Rasso God now,
are you Elena?
Elena: Yes, I still am...
Rude: May I ask why?
Elena: Because he is an author and I don’t want to
piss him off...
Rude: Good point.
>Tifa struggled to breathe. She and Cloud were at their favorite mall, >making out in their
>favorite corner. They were running their hands over each other, and
>they knew other
>people could see, but they didn’t care.

Elena: I can’t stand having people watch me make out...
Reno: I can if I’m drunk enough...

>Tifa had worn her tight pair of jean shorts today to show off her butt for >Cloud. He
>always told her how her butt was pretty nice, so she wanted him to see >it as much
>as possible. Cloud put his hands on Tifa’s butt and pushed her into >him. Tifa giggled
>as she felt a bulge in Cloud’s pants.

Reno: His wallet...
Elena: Really?
Rude: Elena, the innocent act is over...
Elena: Damn it...

>Suddenly, Tifa desperately freed herself from Cloud's arms. She really >had to poop.

Reno: I see a trend to these stories...
Rude: So do I.

>She told Cloud she needed to run for a second and disappeared into >the ladies room.
>It had only two stalls, and she was the only one in there, so Tifa picked >the one nearest to
>the window and locked the door. She unbuttoned her short jean shorts >and wriggle out
>of them. She hung them on the hook and slipped off her panties, also >putting them on the
>hook. With that, she sat on the toilet, her butt dropping way down into >the bowl,
>with her cheeks being pulled apart in the process.

Elena: Again, a visual that I just don’t need in my life...
Reno: Ain’t that the truth!

>It was very quiet in the bathroom, and Tifa was kind of spooked. She >soon changed
>that, however, with a windy little fart.

Reno: That sounded dimily like a fog horn...
Rude: That sounded like a semi-truck’s air horn.

> Suddenly, Tifa felt her butt hole open up and a
>little chunk of shit fell out with a splash. The splash seemed to echo >forever in the

Elena: Echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...
Reno: Stupid...stupid...stupid...stupid...
Rude: Yes you two are.
>quite restroom. She pushed a little and two more chunks dropped one >after another with
>loud splashes.

Rude: *acting like an announcer* And here we are at
the cannonball finals,
remember, those turds that splash water on Tifa’s ass
gets an extra ten points...
Reno: You’ve been hanging out with me for
waaaaaaaay to long dude.
Rude: I know.

>She was slightly disappointed, for she thought she was full of >droppings. Tifa farted a
>few more times and felt her butt open again. The smile returned to her >face, realizing
>that a bigger turd wanted out this time. Tifa found it weird hearing the >crackle around

Elena: She has a poop fetish....
Reno: REALLY? I hadn’t NOTICED!

>her anus. The log slid out very slowly, and Tifa could hear nd fnd feel >it. Tifa enjoyed
> the feeling of defecating. Knowing Cloud couldn’t give her anal sex all >the time,
>it was a good substitute.

Reno: Since when is anal sex and taking a dump the same?
Rude: How would YOU know?
Reno: *holds up a Vincent/Reno Yaoi slash* Let’s just
say that I am picked on a
lot in the male/male slash catigory...
Elena: So you thought you might try it out?
Reno: No.

>Tifa’s poo dropped without a splash. She looked down at it, it was >about 7 inches long
>and 2 inches wide, which is normal for her. To her horror, it was stuck >halfway!

Elena: Damn... she’s got a loose asshole...
Reno: From all that fucking or all that shitting?
Rude: Both.

>Tifa continued to push and groan, as if she was in labor, but it was no >use.

Elena: Labor and poop are not the same either...
Reno: How do you know?
Elena: I watched my mother in labor and taking a shit...
she yelled more AFTER
labor, but yelled more DURING the shit.Rude: That’s why you are messed up.

>The shit did not move. A tear slid down Tifa’s face, realizing she wasn’t >going
>anywhere for a while.

Reno: Apparently, neither are we.

>Just then, to Tifa’s surprise, she heard the bathroom door open.

>“I'll bet a girl named Tifa is taking a dump in here!”

>Tifa’s face turned bright red when she recognized the voice. It was >Cloud!

Reno: Cloud comes to rescue her again?
Rude: Make. It. Stop.

>“In here, Cloud!” called Tifa as she unlocked the stall door. She didn’t >care what she
>was doing. She wanted to be with Cloud again.

>“Phew! Tifa, what’d you eat?!” demanded Cloud as he opened the door.

Elena: *acting like Tifa* A whole cheese log...
Reno: *acting like Tifa* A whole elephant...
Rude: *acting like Tifa* A bag of oreos, two gallons of milk,
three plates of spaghetti and you.
Elena and Reno: *stare at Rude*
Rude: What?
Reno: YOU need to get out more...

>“We just had a pepperoni pizza!” replied Tifa.

>“So what’s taking so long?”

>“Ummm……………..I’m a bit constipated.”

>“A bit?!”

>Tifa giggled.

>“Let me see,” ordered Cloud.

Reno: NO! NO! Don’t look that thing in the eye Cloud,
you’ll fall in!
Rude: RUN NOW CLOUD!
>Tifa got up off the toilet, turned around, and bent over. Cloud gazed at >the shit hanging
>from his wife’s gorgeous ass. Cloud tried prying her anus with his >fingers, but to no avail.

>“Ow! Oow! Ooooowwwwww! Cloud, stop it!” snapped Tifa.

Reno: That’s what we have been saying since the start of
this fiction, Tifa...
Rude: What a shitty fiction.
Elena: *sighs*

>“Sorry,” said Cloud. “I thing I have a more painless idea. Sit on the >toilet again.”

>Tifa sat back down on the toilet. To her surprise, Cloud pulled his pants >down and
>positioned his cock at the entrance of Tifa’s pussy. Before she could >say anything, Cloud
>began to thrust, slowly at first, but gradually picking up speed. Tifa >moaned loudly in
>responds to Cloud’s love. Soon it happened. Tifa clutched the toilet >seat as she orgasm,ed,

Rude: Elena... have you ever orgasm,ed,?
Elena: How mean...
Reno: Look how its spelled...
Elena: I’ve never done THAT before.

>and to her surprise, the turd that was stuck I her ass dropped right into >the bowl.

>“Oh Cloud, thank you!” said Tifa as she threw her arms around him, >buried her
>face in his chest, and began to rock him. While she was doing this, she >continued to
>fart loudly and gassily, and dropped chunks into the toilet, but Cloud >ignored them It was
> a job well done.

Reno: Gross
Elena: Gross
Rude: ......

>But all good things must come to an end. The bathroom door opened, >and the cops
>came in. They marched right over to the lovers’ stall and grabbed >Cloud and dragged him
>off of Tifa.

Elena: *as Tifa* RAAAPEEE! He RAPED ME WHILE I
WAS SHITTING!
Rude: Gross
Reno: I wonder what the cops thought?

>As the police dragged Cloud out, Tifa let out one last fart to set him off

Elena: As if he enjoys that?
>Cloud Mows The Lawn……Again
>By Rasso

Elena: No More... no more...
Rude: I think I need that puke bucket...
Reno: Isn’t this what is called Scat play?

>The shower water sprinkled out of the nozzle as the naked girl spread >it out all
>over her gorgeous body.

Reno: That sentence is the best thing in the whole story.

> Cloud was mowing the lawn again, but this time Tifa decided to
>stay in the shower. She still had a good view of him through the >window, and it was
>possible that the neighbors could see her, but she didn’t care.

>Tifa had not been feeling too good for the past few days. She wasn’t >sick, she had
>just been eating a lot lately, then taking ipecac so she wouldn’t get fat.

Reno: She’s not fat, she’s just got a nice ass and nice tits.
Rude: Thank you Mr. Vocabulary.
Elena: Yeah, use some more colorful words, cretin.

>Soon her loneliness ended. She let out a sigh of relief as she heard >the Cloud
>knock on the bathroom door.

>“How are you feeling, Tifa?” asked Cloud, politely as he tried to catch >his breath.

>“I feel terrible!” giggled Tifa. “Come in!”

>With that, the door opened. Cloud was a gentleman, for he would often >check on her,

Elena: Sure, he’ll fuck her in the ass and even when
she has a turd hanging
from her ass, but he is a GENTLEMAN
Reno: Stuff it Ele...

>yet never come in when Tifa was showering until she gave him >permission. He even stood
> at the bathroom door if she didn’t. Cloud walked in, put the toilet lid >down, and had a seat.

>“How’s the lawn?” asked Tifa sweetly.
>“Boy, it’s getting tougher each time,” replied Cloud.

>“Don’t tell me you’re getting old!” joked Tifa.
>Cloud laughed back. “Well, it is 90 degrees out, and I’m drenched. >Plus, I had to take
>the trash out.”

Elena: Where can I find a man like that?
Rude: You want a man that likes your shit fetish?
Reno: Ugh...

>A big smile appeared on Tifa’s face. That was the cue he wanted to get >into the shower
>with her. He was too shy to ask explicitly, and Tifa liked that.

>“Well,” began Tifa, trying to hide her excitement, “can you do me a couple of favors?”

>“What?”

>“I forgot my clothes. Would you mind getting them for me?”

>“Sure!” exclaimed Cloud. “And the other?”

>“When you bring my clothes in, get your naked butt in here and kiss >me!”

>Slowly, the realization came to her. She needed to poop, and real bad >at that.

Reno: Why did I not see that coming a mile away?
Rude: Because you are strange.

>Gathering her courage, Tifa crossed her legs real tight holding it, then >she took one
>step out of the shower.

>“So far, so good,” whispered Tifa to herself.

Reno: Far from it, I’m sick already...
Elena: I can see it coming far, far away.

>She took another step toward the toilet, but, suddenly, she started to >leak liquid shit!

Reno: *gag*
Elena: shit...
Rude: That is yet another visual that I do not need.

>She felt it oozing down her leg, and realized the trouble she was in. >She stood there


Elena: And what trouble we are in...
Rude: I hate this...
>with her legs crossed really tight, holding her poop in and trying to >think what to do.

Reno: Two words of advice for you Tifa, Move...quickly.
Elena: Yes, and no more bulimic behavoirs.
Reno: Say-a-what-a?

>Her thoughts were soon interrupted. Cloud returned to the bathroom >without warning.
>Worse, he had pressed up against Tifa’s back and put one hand on her >shoulder. He had
>startled her, and she started to poop on him! Horrified, Tifa jumped >out of the
>shower and sat on the toilet. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to put >the lid up, so she
>made a mess on the lid. Tifa wanted to relax, but she couldn’t because >she knew what
>she had done. Eventually, she got the lid up, then finally relaxed and >just let it all
>out in the toilet.

Reno: That is so gross.
Elena: *acting as if she’s on P.A.* Clean up... aisle four!
Rude: Where is that puke bucket?

>Tifa was farting bad and the stink was even worse. She was crying her >eyes out at the
>mess she made. It wasn’t that she had never messed herself before, >but never a bathroom.

>“I’m sorry, Tifa” cooed Cloud as he wrapped his arms around the >shitting girl.

Elena: Lovely.
Rude: What, Elena? Don’t you have someone who
would hug you while
you are shitting?
Elena: No, nor do I want to.

>“Just let everything out, babe, I’ll clean up.” With that, Cloud picked up >a roll
>of paper towels and kneaded some into a wad. Tifa felt guilty as he >wiped the waste
>off the floor. She understood very well why she loved that man. She >even cried a
>little as he wiped her shit off of him. She just wanted to crawl into a >hole and die.

Elena: So do I... so do I.
Rude: You can say that again. DON’T EVEN!

>Soon, she was done. She got up off the toilet and flushed, although >that didn’t
>really do anything to kill the smell. Tifa put the lid down, revealing the >shit on the lid.
>Cloud made another wad of paper towels, and then cleaned Tifa’s >droppings off of the lid.

>“Shit!” grumbled Cloud.

>“What happened?” asked Tifa.
>“I ran out of paper towels.”

>“Uh-oh.”

>“Bend over,” ordered Cloud.

Reno: Don’t do it Tifa, don’t do it!
Rude: *grabbing trashcan*

>Tifa did as she was told. She felt funny to stick her ass up at Cloud >when he told her to bend over. Suddenly, she felt a strange feeling >behind her. It was almost as if a snake was on her, and
>she soon realized what was happening. He was eating the waste off
>of Tifa’s back!

Elena: Urk! I’m going to vomit now...
Rude: Wait your turn, Reno’s got the bucket.
Reno: *hurling into the trashcan*

>Tifa gasped and put her hands over her mouth. She knew Cloud would >do a lot for her,
>but she couldn’t believe he would eat her droppings. Tifa stood in >shock as Cloud

Elena: Trust me, NOBODY would go that far...
Rude: I wouldn’t do that for myself.
Reno: *gag* Ugh.

>continued to lap up her feces. She could hear him swallow it, too, and >giggle at how
> much he cared for her.

Reno: Think of yourself Man! Go to the store and grab
some more towels!
Elena: She’s sick, let her clean it up...
Rude: *holding out Gil* I’ll even pay for it! Anything but that!

>“Just relax yourself,” said Cloud softly as he swallowed a glob of Tifa’s >poop. Tifa felt
>awful that he was going through all this trouble just for her, but she did >just that.
>She didn't even care as she just let even more poop come out and pee >leak out of her.
>Cloud quickly lapped it all up, and swallowed.

Elena: PLEASE can’t we turn it off, my eyes are BURNING HERE!
Tseng: *On P.A. System* No.

>“That’s good, Tifa, just let everything out,” said Cloud again. Tifa >farted and giggled,
>and soon all the waste was off of her. They then filled the tub and took >a long, romantic
>bath together. Then they made love. Tifa realized how lucky she was to >have a man like >Cloud. It was a good day with a good dump, one that she would look >forward to again.

Elena: Tell me Cloud at least brushed his teeth!
Rude: *turning green*
Reno: Elena, how could you think of that at a time like THIS?
Elena: Men...

>In The Park
>By Rasso

Elena: I’m not as fond of Rasso now...
Rude: We haven’t read his other works.
Elena: Tell me we don’t have to?
Tseng: *on P.A.* I’m looking them up now.
All Three Turks: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Tseng: *on P.A.* Watch the rest of the fiction and shut up.

>Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, Cid, Barret, Cait Sith, Vincent, Red XIII, and Yuffie >were out in the
>park, seated at the picnic table. They had just finished lunch and were >presently talking
>about memories past.

Rude: Didn’t Aeris die?
Reno: I thought so.

>Tifa suddenly stood up and headed for the bathroom. Cloud grinned, >knowing what was
>about to happen. He winked at Tifa and pretended he didn't know. She >was his, but
>still hot. Everyone would be turned off if they had known about her shit
>shenanigans.

Elena: LITTLE? LITTLE??? The man ate shit off of her!
Rude: Don’t remind me.
Reno: Me niether.

>"Thank the Planet were were so close to the bathroom," she laughed >when she got there.

>Then, out of the blue, she saw the dreaded sign on the ladies' room >door.

>OUT OF ORDER

Reno: Who didn’t see THAT one coming? Raise their hand...
Elena: ...
Rude: ...
Tseng: *on P.A.* I am raising mine...
Reno: Go figure.
>"Fuck," groaned Tifa. "Why are all my bowel movements turning into >nightmares?"

Elena: Because YOU are always so open about them...
Reno: I knew the woman was full of shit, but
this is ridiculous...
Rude: You two stop with the shit.

>With a sigh, she went around behind the barn. It was rather secluded, >with trees
>and leaves keeping her well hidden, a good place for a girl to discharge >excretement.

Reno: Wonderful...
Rude: er... what a word for shit.
Elena: That was almost lady like...
Reno: *glares at Elena* What?
Elena: ALMOST!

>"I'll do this quickly," whispered Tifa as she began to undo her wrap->around black skirt.
>She carefully removed her panties, as not to stain them.

Reno: Every time she says ‘I’ll do this quickly’ she
never does...
Rude: Watch, another turd will get stuck...

>Tifa stretched her anus wide and felt something slide out from behind. >Now there was 4
>inches sticking out, 4 fat inches of girl-poo. Tifa continued to push, but >the turd
>would no longer budge.

Elena: I didn’t know that pooping could be so...
Rude: She’s addicted to pooping.
Reno: I knew there was a problem with that girl.

>"COME ON YOU LITTLE BITCH DON'T TEASE ME!" Tifa squealed.

>"TIFA?!" cried a familiar soprano.

>Tifa turned around in shock.

>"AERIS!" she cried in a similar tone. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

>"Isn't it obvious," she giggled.

>With that, Aeris slipped off her red jacket and began to unbutton her >pink dress. She hung
>it on the branch of a nearby tree, as Tifa noticed Aeris wasn't wearing a >bra nor panties,
>just her shoes.
Reno: Why are they getting naked?
Rude: I don’t know, but naked Aeris, HEY TSENG!
WATCH THIS!
Tseng: *on P.A.* Watching...
Elena: *sniffle* So unfair...

>"This is so damn scary!" laughed Tifa as she continued to push.


Reno: YES it is...

>"Right!" giggled Aeris as she squatted. The two girls began to shit in >unison.

Elena: Ooooooooh boy...
Rude: Can this get worse?
Reno: *covers his friends mouth* Don’t say that! The
walls have ears... *shifty eyes*

>Suddenly, a tear rolled down Aeris' face.

>"What's wrong?" Tifa asked her friend.

Elena: *crying* This whole fiction!

>"Oh, this just reminds me of an experiance with my first boyfriend, >Zack."

>With that, Aeris closed her beautiful green eyes and began.

>"Zack and I were driving through northern Midgar on the highways. >Wel,l I always
>vowed never to shit or even fart in front of a guy. It just wasn't a lady >like thing to
>do.

Elena: Not that it has ever stopped me...
Rude: What stinks?
Reno: Did you just fart?
Elena: Mayyyybe...
Rude: Did you soil yourself?

>Until then. And it was in the most embarrassing unlady like fashion. >We originally came
>from Kalm and were on our way to Junon. I remember eating a huge >breakfast before
>we left, but I couldn't shit then so I decided to hold it until we reached >Junon. In situations
>like these, I never succumbed to defeat, so I was pretty confident my >butthole would
>become victorious in the battle against the turds knocking on the door, >and I could take
>care of my business properly like a lady should.
Reno: This is so wrong...
Rude: That is such a described paragraph for needing
to take a shit.
Reno: Was that a complement?
Elena: Take it as you will...


>"Anyways, during the entire trip I'd feel my stomach turn and the pain >increase as time
>went on. I just told myself 'you can make it, Aeris girl' and thought >about other things.
>It wasn't until we were about 1 hour away from the outskirts of Junon >that I thought
>this could be the one battle I'm defeated in. There must have been >tons of waste
>backed up in my bowels, and it was attacking my asshole with no >mercy. I
>cleanched my buttcheeks together with full force and told myself to >hold out for an

Reno: What do you mean Clench Butt cheeks?
Rude: Oooh brother...
Elena: I can’t watch...

>hour until we got to the hotel. Due to my nervousness and the thought >of impending
>doom caused me to sweat all over prefusely, and the sweat build-up in >my asscrack only
>seemed to act as a lubricant.

Reno: what a hot thought.
Rude: Are you thinking of sex at a time like this?
Elena: He’s ALWAYS thinking of sex.
Rude: Now?
Reno: yeah
Elena: Now?
Reno: Yeah.

> Defeat seemed inevitable, and the pain in my intestines
>was unbearable. And Zack started to notice. He looked over concerned >and asked
>me what was wrong. I was biting my lip and the look of pain across my >face was
>obvious, and I couldn't answer. He asked again, and slowly I asked if >we could pull
>over to a nearby restroom. The sign showed the nearest place a >restroom would be,
>would be about 15 minutes. I couldn't wait that long, and was terrified >by what might
>happen. I continued to strain, but that did no good.

Reno: Help, this isn’t going to be pretty.
Elena: How about now?
Reno: Yeah... There are two naked girls on the screen.
Rude: THAT ARE SHITTING!

>"Then the turd poked its head from out of my rectum. I was wearing a >navy blue colored
>short skirt with no underwear, so the turd obviously hit the surface of >seat. I screamed >for him to pull over, and confused, he did. I had no other choice, I >figured shitting on
>myself in the car would be more humiliating and would ruin my tights. >So I quickly
>jumped out the car, and thank God I was wearing a skirt so I could pull >it up rather
>quickly, and I squatted, right in front of my boyfriend, cleanched my >buttcheeks
>with my hands as my asshole had the diameter of a tennis ball and I >unleashed my

Reno: Her asshole was the diameter of a TENNIS BALL???
Rude: Maaaaaaan... talk about loose.

>stinky brown load. It was watery and lumpy and the same time. I could >hear the shit
>hitting the ground as I was squatting here off the side of the highway. I >was completely
>disgusting. God knows what the people were thinking who were driving >by

Reno: They were honking and video recording it.
Rude: *weird voice* Honey... get the kids! Watch this!
Elena: *weird voice* HEY Lookit that!

>when they saw some woman shitting her guts out on the side of the >highway. And it
>horrified me to know what my boyfriend was thinking. Shit must've >poured out of
>my ass for a good 2 minutes.

Reno: That’s a good shit.

>"My ego and pride were shattered, and with my head down I asked my >boyfriend for
>something to wipe my ass with. He got out of the car with a look of >disbelief on his
>face and opened the trunk and grabbed some rags for me. Completely >defeated,
>humiliated, and embarrrassed, I wiped my asshole thoroughly and >wiped the tiny
>shit-stain on the inside of my tights, and pulled them back up. I >looked at my load on the

Elena: Something stinks...
Reno: You mean besides this fiction?
Rude: Ewwwwwww...

> ground and was startled at how huge a dump I took. We both got in >the car and I was
>too embarrassed to say anything or give an explanation. He looked >just as
>shocked and disgusted as I was. It was the most embarrassing >moment of my life."

>"What happened after that?" asked Tifa, with a tear rolling down her >cheek. She realized
> she was really touched by the story.

Reno: Touched by a shit-story?
Rude: You mean a Shitty story
Elena: You guys are dumping the shit on thick, ya know?

>"I pooped on my skirt so it was ruined. When I lamented this, he was >like, 'Don't worry,> it's just a skirt,' and he ripped it off with a big smile, leaving me in a >shirt but no pants,
>like you are now. Well, we eualluallly got to Junon and we went to the >restaurant as
>usual. The waiter was so polite, even though I'm sure he knew I was >bottomless. Zack
> and I sat down in a booth and had a wonderful talk."

Reno: How could someone NOT notice that?
Elena: damn straight...

>By this time, the final inches of feces had slid out of Aeris' anus. She >plucked a leaf
>from a nearby tree and wiped her butt.

Reno: Two words Aeris... Poison Ivy.
Rude: No, poison sumac...
Elena: gross... she just wiped her ass with a leaf...

> Tifa, who still had five inches of poo hanging
> from her anus, sighed in disappointment. She would soon be alone >again. But her spirits
> were lifted when Aeris did something very unexpected: Before >dressing, she hugged
>her friend and pecked her on the cheek.

Reno: Bisexual!
Rude: YURI!!! GIRL ON GIRL!

>Tifa was a closet bisexual, and Cloud knew, but she had never been >kissed by a
>girl before. She realized this was the beginning of something more.

Reno: Yes, the end...
Rude: Awwww, I’d actually like to watch two hot girls
getting it on...
Elena: With or without the shit?
Reno: Yuri is yuri...
Rude: Yeah.
Tseng: Okay, you are free to go, Fiction is over.
Reno: Good, now that it’s over, I am going to take a
nice looooong shit.
Rude: *joking* Need any help removing those stuck turds?
Elena: I knew they were gay...
Rude: ........................
Reno: *takes off after Elena*
Elena: EEP! *runs away*