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Misery's Son	By : Pixxit Category: Final Fantasy VIII > General Views: 721 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
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Hello
again. Some of you may remember this story from before fanfiction shut me down, but I�ve decided to post it again
since so many people seem to miss it. Bear with me while I find all my
old files and I am working on an update. I�ll be posting the next fifteen
chapters just as soon as I find them. ~_^. I wouldn�t mind a review
or two, just to let me know you�re still interested. As we all know, I make no claim on Final
Fantasy 8 or it�s characters, except for the Seifer that resides in my imagination.


Prologue

Inner
Conflicts
Someday you will ache like I
ache�


�Are you going to stay out here all night?� Her soft voice drifted toward
him. Even speaking so softly, he could hear her
melodious voice. There wasn�t even a wind to stir the leaves in
the trees. It truly was the still of the night.

�Hadn�t really thought about it.� He answered
honestly as he let the lights of this place that he loved spill over him.
Even in the darkness Balamb Garden shone like a
beacon. Squall knew the lights that so lit up the interior were not
visible from the outside. Any outsiders staring up at the gates of this
place would never know precisely how beautifully illuminated the inside could
be. Unless that outsider had once been inside, that is.

�Squall, you have to snap out of this. He�s gone. He�s been gone for months and no one knows
where he is.�

Squall didn�t answer as he listened to her, the ever-present voice of reason, tell him why the guilt that plagued him was not his
burden to bear.

�He made his choice, Squall. It was her or us. He chose. It�s
really that simple.�

She moved closer to him, wanting to offer him the comfort that simple human
touch could bring, but knowing in her heart that he would not welcome it.
He turned to her slightly, the lights behind him highlighting his beautiful,
graceful profile in such a way that Quistis quite
forgot to draw breath. Just looking at him made her heart ache, each
glance he bestowed on her like a dagger to her heart because she knew, despite
the closeness they�d begun to share, he would never be hers.

He sighed then, the fur at his collar heaving with his intake of breath.

�Nothing�s ever that simple, you know that.�

How she hated to hear that defeated tone of voice coming from her lion.
But Quistis was afraid that there was really nothing
that would make him snap out of it. When he was like this, brooding and
reflective, no words from her could bring him back. Such was his nature
and she�d long ago learned to accept him for what he was.

�What else can you do, Squall? If he doesn�t want to be found, you won�t
find him. This is what he wants.�

Squall turned then, his eyes alight with something she�d never seen
before. She was hard pressed to put a name to it. But the storm was
brewing in his eyes again and so she would let him speak.

�Quistis, we don�t know what he wants. We never
did. What I do know is that we could�ve stuck by him, forgiven him.
Maybe he wouldn�t have done what he did.�

Quistis did touch him then, her hand feather-light on
his arm. He flinched, although she was certain he couldn�t feel her touch
through the leather of his jacket.

�Squall. I�m not certain. About him, about anything. But I do know that he was
one of us once and it just wasn�t enough. And now that things have
changed and that terrible war is behind us, where is he?�

Squall moved out of her reach and he didn�t miss the hurt look she gave him.

�I don�t know where he is. But I�m going to find him and when I do, I�m
going to convince him to come back. We owe him that.� He said
determinedly.

�What do we owe him, Squall? He fought us eagerly; he tried to kill you
not once but twice. Have you forgotten the D-district��

Squall cut her off with a forbidding look.

�I haven�t forgotten any of it. The things we did in the name of preservation,
of peace, it haunts me still. But I don�t blame him. He was only
doing what he was driven to do and I remember once upon a long time ago when we
really weren�t so different. He was part of us.�

Quistis turned her back to him, knowing that to
disagree was futile. His mind was made up and when that happened, Squall
would do what Squall wanted to do. Why he bothered rationalizing to her
she couldn�t guess, but she would listen as long as he wanted to speak.
Because to hear him, and to have him hear her in return, was all she�d ever
wanted.

�Find him then. Bring him back. Redeem him if you can. But
how, I ask you, will you ever make Zell understand
why you need to do this.�

Squall regarded her intently. �There�s no need for me to explain my
actions to Zell, or anyone else for that matter.�

�There�s a need, Squall. How can you be so blind? It will seem as
though Zell isn�t enough. He knows how you feel
about Seifer, how you�ve always felt about him.
He could see it when no one else could and the reason is because he loved you
so much himself.� As I do to this
very day�

�I�ll
try to make him understand. I don�t want him to be hurt, you know
that. But I will do what must be done.� He told her stubbornly.

�I didn�t expect anything else from you, Squall. I just want you to
consider the path you�ve chosen. This is not going to be easy and there
will be repercussions.�

He nodded solemnly, turning his gaze out toward the quad, closing his eyes as a
slight breeze ruffled his hair.

�The winds are changing.� He murmured, not really speaking to her as much
as to himself. �It�s time.�

And then he turned to face her, his gunmetal eyes burning with a resolve that
she could see even in the shadowy light.

�I need to know you�ll back me in this.� He told her.

Her heart thrilled to think he cared for her opinion now, when before he
couldn�t even be bothered to wish her good night.

�I�ll do whatever you need me to do, Squall. I just pray to Hyne that we don�t live to regret this.�

Squall pulled his jacket closer around his spare frame.

�Not as much as I do.� He agreed.

�When will you go?� She asked lightly, her stomach twisting anxiously as
she considered the risk he was taking.

�At dawn.� He said resolutely.

�Well,� She breathed, her heart heavy, �We still have a lot to do.�

She paused when he didn�t answer and looked him over carefully, seeing him as
though for the first time.

�Will you tell Zell the truth about this?� She
had to know.

Squall met her gaze evenly and blinked once.

�I�ll tell him whatever he wants to know.� He promised. But then he
turned at the door that would take them back into the Training Center.

�My life is my own, Quistis. I don�t owe anyone
any explanations.�

It was his way of letting her know where he stood, where Zell
stood. He would not be swayed, by anyone. No matter the
consequences.
�I never
thought otherwise.� She told him, and silently followed him into the
Center knowing that when they parted ways tonight, he would leave her in his
usual fashion. With silence and indifference, because he just didn�t know
any other way. Quistis prayed to the Gods that
this pilgrimage he was so hell bent on would not disillusion him further.
She didn�t know what another betrayal would do to him, to all of them.
All she could do was pray�and wait.
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Misery's Son