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Authorverse Awry	By : ArdwynnaMorrigu Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 530 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Authorverse Awry
- 1
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII is the
property of Square-Enix. No profit is sought from
this work.

Warnings: Shounen
ai, all manner of perversion, blatant self-insertion,
OOC behavior.

Authorverse Awry

The Bishy Bistro

It
was late in the afternoon when the student dragged her way down to the busiest little
restaurant in town. It had been a long time since she had felt comfortable with
the crowd there, but she was at the end of her rope. She was exhausted and
hungry, two things that made a dangerous combination in her line of study. She
needed rest and relaxation and most importantly, something to ease the violent
craving that had been plaguing her for weeks.

She
had tried every place in town, from fancy restaurants to tiny take-out
counters, but there was nowhere that could meet her order. It was mind-boggling.
What she wanted wasn�t that hard to make, was it? The ingredients were not rare
or hard to find. With a little effort, the local supermarket could have her
dish readymade and stashed in the deli section, right next to the sushi trays.

Desperation
had driven her to this, coming to a place she wanted little to do with these
days. She stood near the doorway and sighed. The place was still a mess and the
noise was high-pitched enough to break glass. Sitting down here too long was a
good way to lose all common sense. The student was willing to risk it though,
if just to get rid of that unnatural craving.

�Miss?� A slim woman called out to get her attention. �Will
you be sitting in the straight or the yaoi section
today?�

The
student frowned. �Could I just sit somewhere in the middle?�

The
woman looked horrified. �I� I don�t think we have any seats in the middle.
We�ve been keeping a wider gap between the sections since the last� incident.�

�Fine,�
the student mumbled. �I�ll sit in the yaoi section
today.�

The
uniformed women smiled and led the way to a small table in the corner. The
student collapsed into it and hung on to the menu she was given as if it were a
lifeline. It was her last hope after all.

It
didn�t take long for her to scan the lists. Her heart sank. What she wanted
wasn�t on the menu. Still, the place was known for being very accommodating to
requests. If there was any place she had a chance to get what she wanted, this
might just be it. The student set the menu down and slumped forward with her
chin on her arms to wait for her server.

The
place hadn�t changed much in the time she had been away. Table after table was
filled with giggling young girls. The squealing was incessant. Giggle fits and
high-pitched arguments seemed to break out at random.

�Like,
ohmyfuckinggawd,� one ponytailed
young girl cried out from the next table. �How can you possibly stomach a
Heidegger-Cid? That�s nasty!�

�Totally!� Her friends piped up in agreement.

�Man,
Heidegger-anything is just� EWWW!�

The
lone dissenter in the group edged her chair away and hunched over her order. �I
ordered it for me. It�s not like I�m asking any of you to try it. Now pass the
angst shaker!�

The student
groaned. There was always too much going on in this place. A waiter came by
bearing a large tray for the group directly in front of her.

�One
Rufus and Turks Orgy for table four. Enjoy, ladies.�

The
girls barely waited for the waiter to leave before they started squealing.
�This is going to be good!�

The
student turned her eyes away, not wanting to infringe on anyone�s enjoyment,
even if they did seem to be into the group thing. There were a few quieter
patrons at the bar. The student found that if she shifted just right she could
hear the discussion. Eavesdropping was not exactly a prime trait, but she would
have done anything at that point to be able to focus on something other than
the shrill chatter nearby.

�I
just can�t stomach that Kadaj and Yazoo
mix,� one girl said as she kicked her heels against the bar stool. �It gives me
a sort of unsettled feeling.�

�But
it�s not like they�re really brothers, as far as we know for sure,� her friend
said, cheerfully stirring her own drink.

�I
guess,� the first girl mumbled and proceeded to order a Red XIII licker.

The
sight of all those orders being filled made the student acutely aware of her
deprived, near-ravenous state. She really wouldn�t be able to concentrate if
she didn�t get her craving out of the way. She sat up straight in her chair to
make sure someone took notice.

Two
waiters crossed paths right by her table. �We�re not out of the Cid and Vinny special, are we?�

�Don�t
think so. I�ve got someone waiting for this Reeve and Tifa
at my table. It took a while so I gotta run. Oh, and
if you see Lou in there, tell him we need to refill the blonde hair and violet
eyes at the Suelad bar.�

The
student waited patiently. She was too faint with hunger to make much fuss. When
her waiter did come by, she was too weak from lack of sustenance to notice.

�Miss?
Miss?�

�Huh?�

�Oh,
lost in thought, huh?� The waiter chuckled. �Hi, I�m Steve and I�ll be your
waiter today. Are you ready to order?�

The student
nodded and handed him her menu. �I want an off-menu order. Your chef is still
willing to accommodate, right?�

�Absolutely!
We aim to please here at the Bishy Bistro. No mix is
too rare or unsavory. If you want it and
we�re up to it, you�ll get it.�

The
student breathed a sigh of relief. At last, at long, long last�

�I
want a Zack sandwich.�

The
waiter blinked before scribbling it into his notepad. �A Zack sandwich? We
don�t get asked for too many of those around here.�

�It�s
what I want,� the student said firmly.

Steve
nodded. �Right away, then, Ma�am. I�ll just go see if our chef can whip it up.�
The student smiled and leaned back in her chair to wait.

Steve
was back way too soon. �I�m very, very sorry. The chef in question says she�s
not prepared to make Zack sandwiches right now. I brought the menu back.
Perhaps there�s something else you�d be interested in.�

The
student stared at the proffered menu. It was just too much. To have searched so
long and come up with nothing, even here of all places, where nothing was
supposed to be too hard to prepare. The long weeks of deprivation and stress
with no relief in sight finally became too much to bear.

The
student began breathing heavily, a sure sign that she was trying to hold
something in, but that something would not be held any longer. It came bursting
forth in a fiery blaze that put even the restaurant�s notoriously passionate
patrons to shame.

�Whaddaya mean you can�t make a Zack sandwich?� The student
pounded the table for emphasis. �This is the one place that anybody can get
anything they want, never mind if it turns out like crap, they can still have
it! That�s what you�re famous for, right?�

Steve
held the menu up before him like a shield. �Well, yes, Ma�am, but some things
are a little out of the normal range of skill. You could special order.�

�I
don�t want to special order! I want my sandwich now!� The student pounded the
table again, setting off a slew of murmurs all around her.

�What
is wrong with that old beyotch?�

�They
think they can just walk in here and make demands above the rest of us.�

The
student shot the offending girls a black glare and turned back to the trembling
waiter. �I would like a Zack sandwich,� she said slowly and quietly.

�I
appreciate you keeping it down, Ma�am.� Steve lowered the menu but took a half
step back to be just out of reach. �If you disturb the patrons again, I might
have to ask you to leave.�

�You
could do that, Steve, but you and I both know you have no way to actually make
me go.� The student gave him a dark grin. �Now about that sandwich.�

�I�
I don�t know��

�Look,
Steve, I�ve had a really rough couple of months but despite my worn-out
appearance, I�m a very good tipper. I�m tired, I�m hungry and I want a Zack
sandwich.� The student lunged out and took the menu. She opened it up and
pointed. �See, if you can make all of this, you�ve got to have the makings of a
Zack sandwich somewhere back there. Now if your chef doesn�t know how to do
things, let me break it down for you.� She sat up in the chair and smiled a
little at the thought of just what went into making that rare spicy meal.

�First,
you lay down a sweet young Cloud. I know you have those, so don�t give me any
stories about being all out. Then, you take a fresh Zack and put it on top of
the Cloud. Finally, you top the whole pile off with a naked Sephiroth, a real
horny one if you can get it. I know it�s a little hard to get the pile to stay
together, but I�m sure your cooks are up to the basics at least.� The student
shut the menu and passed it back to Steve.

Steve
headed into the kitchen without a word. �She�s not taking �no� for an answer.
It�s a Zack sandwich or bust.�

The
chef looked a little worried. �Damn. I hate these rare order things. They take
so much effort. Go get a Cloud out of the freezer for me, will you?�

It
took nearly three times as long as a regular order, but finally, Steve made it
back to the table with a large, unwieldy sandwich. He set the plate down before
the student. The young woman brightened considerably at the sight.

�Thank
you, Steve,� she said, and reached out for the long-awaited sandwich with both
hands.

Steve
hurried away to the bar, glad that the whole mess was sorted out for now.

�Tough
customer?� Lou asked on his way to put a fresh tray of alabaster skin down at
the Suelad bar.

�Yeah,�
Steve replied, keeping his eye on the crazed student. He hoped she was happy
with her order. The Bishy Bistro could crank out just
about anything in a pinch, but doing it well was another matter entirely.

He
needn�t have worried. After long hours of searching, the student would have
been satisfied with just about anything resembling the sandwich she�d wanted so
badly. This one, true to Bishy Bistro form, was
passable, not great, but it was the Holy Grail to one who had searched for it.
The student sighed happily as she dug into it.

�Hmm,�
she mumbled, as her only complaint. �Needs lube.�

________
AN:
This is some of the insanity my brain keeps up to keep my head from exploding. This
one�s tame but future additions should be something else. At the very least, I
hope somebody gets a laugh out of it. Thanks for checking it out!
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Authorverse Awry