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Money, Honey	By : KitsuneArasi Category: Final Fantasy Games > Final Fantasy XII Views: 1130 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own FFXII. I'm not making money off of this story. Someone hug me, please.

Chapter List
- 1-Money, Honey
- 2-Crack Open Your Gorgeous Face
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- 2
Author's Note: Most of this story is plotted already. I do hope you enjoy it.

Money Honey
Part One:
Sticky Honey

Ffamran Mied Bunansa, or, as he preferred to be called, "Balthier" was no stranger to alcohol. Thus, waking with a screaming migraine and enhanced light sensitivity did not immediately set off the old alarm bells in his head.
As a matter of fact, there was very little that could set them off at this point. Or so he'd thought, before he realized that the half-sticky, half-itching feeling at his scalp wasn't sweat, or alcohol, or any other oh-so-pleasant 'party substance'.
It was blood.
Son of a bitch, someone had bashed him hard enough to bleed.
Balthier allowed himself a primitive growl, but cut off when his head gave a rather disapproving throb.
He rather hoped they hadn't killed what precious few brain cells he'd managed to salvage from his damned father's indoctrinations.
An uncomfortable shift of his sore shoulders proved rather informative as his eyes struggled to adjust to the torturous lights.
He was tied, hands behind his back, to a chair.
Were he not bleeding from the head and suffering a rather impressive migraine, he might have made a remark about the kinkiness of the situation.
That, and if he weren't 70% sure that this was a hostage situation.
Just what he needed, now.
To be ransomed back to daddy dearest.
"I don't imagine that attending sirs or madams would have a few pills for the good little hostage?" He drawled with little humor.
"Not right now. Sorry. I can hit you on the other side of your head to even it out, but that's about it. I don't have any meds on me."
"Lovely." Balthier spat, squinting to see the outline of a honey-gold something, "May I have a name to put to the little rocket scientist, or should I just call you 'Simple Simon'?"
"'Simple Simon'? Isn't that a kid's rhyme?"
"Bra-vo, my young friend."
"Hey! Are you calling me stupid? I'm not stupid, I just don't have medicine."
Balthier resisted the urge to whimper at the increase in volume.
"Stop screaming, you little freak." He hissed.
There was silence for a few moments, then Balthier heard soft footfalls drawing closer. He drew one foot back, carefully preparing, but the movements stopped.
"Look, I've got a rag and some cold water to mop up the big ugly on your forehead, but if you kick me, that's gonna be kinda hard. Plus, I'll probably scream, and we both know how tolerant you are of that."
Balthier closed his eyes, setting his foot back on the floor, "Fine."
He was really getting irritated at the feeling of his own drying blood, and it wouldn't hurt to get himself cleaned up, even if it was by the world's most dimwitted kidnapper.
"So, uh...Ffamran�"
"Balthier."
"Balthier, um�"
Leave it to Simple Simon to muck up the simplest of details. Everyone who was anyone knew of his preference. It had been this way for quite a while, now.
Balthier made a low, lengthy 'hmm'ing noise, waiting for the boy to do something, when the ice-cold rag made contact with skin.
Saints alive, that shit hurt.
"Agh! Are you out of your fucking mind?"
The cloth drew away, wrenching a bit of half-dried blood with it.
"Mother of�."
"Shit, man. Could you stop cussing me out for a sec and make up your mind?"
"Oh, please, do excuse my hostility. I know you've done nothing to earn my ire. You're just an innocent little kidnapping fuck! Should I be thanking you first for the blow to the head, or for tying me up?"
"Actually, most of it wasn't me, so I'm not really the one you should be yelling at. Besides, doesn't that make your head hurt?"
"...I hate you."
"Hey, hey, that's uncalled for. Hate kills people. ...Open your eyes for a sec?"
"For what?"
"So I can check and see if they...dilate...or...whatever. Penelo mentioned something about it."
"Hell. No. Should I leave the welfare of my sight to you, I've no doubt I'll go blind."
"Oh, just open your eyes so I can make sure they still work, your prissy jackass."
"I'm a jackass? I beg to differ, my young friend. I think that perhaps a few lessons in human civilities would serve you almost as well as a proper shower."
And then, all of a sudden, the kid was straddling his lap and there was a tongue in his ear.
"What the�?"
His eyes flew open, and searing pain lanced his brain. Before he could snap them shut again, he caught sight of pretty teeth and brilliant blue eyes contrasting that honey-gold skin.
"See, now? That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Balthier could do nothing but let out a startled 'ngee?' sound as the boy shifted his weight, brushing their lower parts together suggestively, "You should be nice to me. I only wanna help you."
"Help him into an early grave, maybe. Basch asked you to watch the guy, not rape him, Vaan." A girl's giggle filtered in through the madness.
'Vaan', as he was now known, let out an irritated huffing noise, his breath misting over Balthier's skin, "Gee, Pen, just when he was starting to loosen up."
"I'll loosen you up if you don't get off of me."
Vaan chuckled a little, and then the weight disappeared. The soft sound of the boy's footsteps led off into the distance, and then, the sound of a door opening and closing. Through the door, he could hear the sound of muffled singing, fading off gradually.
"Money, money, money, money. Sticky, sticky, sticky honey."
Wasn't that just beautiful?
Balthier was left feeling distinctly more disturbed than he had been a few precious minutes ago.
"Well, Mr. Bunansa, it looks like it's just you and me for now. The others are all busy." The girl's voice was sunny and cheerful�even more of what Balthier did not need right now.
"Balthier," He corrected harshly, "My father is Mr. Bunansa."
"Okay. Balthier it is, then. How are you feeling, Balthier?"
"Oh, just peachy. These restraints are doing wonders for my skin, and I just love what these blinding lights are doing for the migraine you gave me. ...Is something wrong with you people?" He couldn't help but ask. "In fact, the kid that was just in here�Vaan�is there anything he can do right?"
There was silence for a few moments. Balthier figured he'd upset the girl, but then, "Wee~ell...if you ask nicely, he might give you a really nice lap dance."
That tore it.
He'd been kidnapped by a band of sideshow freaks.

Musical credit for this chapter goes to Juliette and the Licks for their song "Sticky Honey". It played a good part in inspiring this story.
Expect many more captivating musical references.

Much love. :P

See y'all next chapter, and please take the time to review. :)
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Money, Honey