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The Art Of Love & War	By : azhiraz Category: Final Fantasy X > AU - Alternate Universe Views: 1907 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Please see below for full disclaimer in chapter one

Chapter List
- 1-The Art Of Love and War
- 1
Author's Notes: This unusual, odd alternate universe story arose from an idle list of favorite things with an Asian flavor, somewhat like Sei Shonagun's lists of favorite things in 'The Pillow Book': The cyber world of Spira from Square Enix's Final Fantasy, the CGIs of some of its inhabitants, including one named Tidus, The Film 'House of Flying Daggers', the martial art Aikido, the classic works of Sun Tzu & The Perfumed Garden, the enchanting lyrics of Stevie Nick's Sable on Blonde & Nightbird, an awesomely mentally challenging story called the The Secret Shih Tan by Graham Masterson, the exquisite kimonos of Itchiku Kubota, the winter eagles that return to a certain spot near a river, & the wild green foothills in the author's home state.
Please heed that this is an idle fantasy written to amuse a sick friend on winter nights; there is no intent of any resemblance to any real person, especially the author; nor is there any intent of taking credit for other quotations, lyrics, or other such things created by other people: Square Enix owns Final Fantasy& its' characters; the demi-goddess Stevie Nicks owns Sable on Blonde & Nightbird lyrics, somewhat butchered & paraphrased; Graham Masterson owns the awesome story The Secret Shih Tan & of course, even a CGI could have stunt doubles in certain sordid scenes. There is no intent of financial profit or gain.
Please also be warned this story is not for the faint of heart; it does deal somewhat with sexual roles & there is a theme of explicit sexuality, adult situations, & violence; but hopefully, between the lines there will be glimpses of kinder things.
Chapter One
" …He who is skilled in attack flashes forth from the topmost heights of heaven"[i]
For most of humanity's history, the night heavens with its glimmering constellations & faint rivers of galaxies wandering across the black-blue of night is a wondrous sight, man's oldest storybook & nature's monument to eternity. Gazing at the vast array of stars flung across the roof of the world make some feel they aren't alone; they are somehow comforted that there's something out there besides themselves; or someone like them, at least. But one pair of eyes lifted to the glittering universes scattered across the black velvet of night felt different. The intellect that drove the sight saw nothing but a vast emptiness, reflected in his own soul; for a long time an unknown grief had been building within; nobody, not one single entity on the planet he dwelled in knew of this aching loneliness, the total sense of being deliberately disconnected a piece at a time from all things good, clean, & loved; or felt the absolute soul-numbing terror of being a condemned exile to the isolated island he had become. Yevon, oh Yevon, I can't hold out much longer! Please, please help me find a way to bear it; or else help me find a way out of this trap that tightens around my neck daily! Where is my bright blue heaven, Yevon? I 'm not a god, I'm just a man…do you think I stand to watch my cup of water dashed from my lips day after day? Where is my love? Why do you deny me love? Cannot I have one, just one love to love me, as I am, or am I cursed? Will you ever let me lead in love instead of being led around like a brute animal? Must I bow my head to this arrogant indifference to my needs all my life? Does it really matter who leads in love, Yevon? Does it? Please, I beg you. Answer me!
The night sky did not answer; neither did Yevon, but he heard the desperate prayer offered: Of course you're cursed – just not quite the way you think you are, an amused quiet voice comforted, hidden in the faint breeze fanning the leaves, & the gentle chitter of the summer locusts.
Tidus Tanaka noh-Ishii wearily dropped his head & sat in the warm darkness, pressing like a soft hand against his skin, alone but for a hundred thousand pyreflies winking in the grass & bushes. It was an astonishing scene, utterly beautiful in its pristine wildness; every leaf seemed limned with cool phosphorescent light; the patterns of flashes winked with delicate complex designs & delighted the eye with the soft yellow green glow against deep summer green foliage. I have no voice left to call you; I hope you hear me calling without one…I place my life in your hands. I am willing to die, Yevon...I consent…
Wrapped in the empty embrace of a summer night, he buried his face in his hands & let the hot tears drip until he was exhausted in mind & slumped in sleep.
The despair had been taking root for months now, growing into a silent scream of terror in his night dreams, waking him in a cold sweat. He was alone. No one understood what was happening inside of him. They thought he was the luckiest bastard in the world, son of the imperial emperor in a kingdom that stretched across a continent & 2 major chains of islands, wealthy, educated, and handsome as sin, his face & body bearing the regal temperament of his northern father & the near divine beauty of the southern race; tall, slim hipped, with smooth golden honey brown skin, astonishing deep cobalt blue eyes like the sea, but infinitely clearer, with an extravagant mane like the glory of the sun glowing with a deep luster that became its own crown on his bastard head. I am the most wretched of men he thought, as he thought of the prison his life had become. He was not free to marry, or to pursue an honorable career, other than the one he had been forced into. He was a consort, by order of the emperor, & he hated it. He hated it so much his anger warped his outlook & he perversely decided back then he'd be the most sought-after, desired, & expensive consort that ever was; once he got over the shock that his own father had sent him away from him & into a life that ensured he would never be anything that any man would take seriously, he threw himself into the temple studies with a vengeance. The result was a temple trained consort whose contract had been sold at age 16 at the unheard of price of a full talent of gold.
It burned that his father thought he was worthless to him; he felt he was denied a life as a man, a true man. In a small defiance, he hacked his hair short, leaving a spiky mane that ruffled like eagle's feathers at his shoulders, disdaining the long groomed & braided tails of the imperial court. He kept his skills up in battle, with daily practice with the guard, riding as a cavalry man in the voluntary militia, spent time hunting, & tamed wild eagles for the hunt; therefore no could say of him he was effeminate or weak. He looked for opportunities to lead men, but his hands had been cleverly tied there too; he had been sent to the city of Bevelle 3 summers ago, & was trapped for an entire year in a consort's contract to Lady Yuna, a daughter of a retired court lord whom ran an academy for warriors amongst his many lines of business & holdings. She was lovely as dawn, but there was no love between them, only what passed as love; or perhaps something more like power in the mind of one of them, at least.
Woken from his slumber by a screech owl, Tidus blearily made his way to the campfire, threw himself down on his camp bedroll & fell into a fitful sleep; he had to rest, because at dawn, they were going to attack; a band of pilfering wildmen was nothing to play with & he needed his wits. And so, Yevon let him sleep & pursued the fulfillment of his prayer.
Thankfully, stars are not just the property of a single world, and that same evening, another pair of eyes were observing the heavens, with the same deep aching loneliness over the vagaries of love, but with far less angst, as there was complete trust in the heart; it knew all would be well, if she just could just be patient enough to wait for that partner the universe had in store for her, instead of being afraid it would never come & rushing into a relationship that was doomed from the start, as she just done this past spring; Tarja Romanova crinkled her eyes as she caught a shooting star & wished: Wish I may, wish I might, wish on a shooting star tonight! Ok, I know it childish, buy hey, God, it's just you & me here on this rock tonight. I wish…I wish I knew what real love was; I’d give anything for minute of real love with man, just one minute of real connection. I am so tired of screwing things up; but I just don't see why I have to pretend to be less than my partner; isn't there anyone out there that needs me to be strong for them? In the right way? Why do they always call me a bitch when I don’t fall for the B.S.? Do look like I am B.S. deficient? I’m about ready to give up!
She enjoyed her view of the stars for a while longer, her back against a boulder in the dusty summer dark until she heard someone turn up their car speakers with the latest hit. She climbed off her perch & started to make her way back to the campfire. She had come with a group of classmates to camp at a world heritage site in California called Painted Rock while on summer break. It was an interesting place, despite the despoiled artifacts; they had planned on hiking & taking photos for a day, then barbequing in the evening. They were all studying for the CIA exam in August& hoped they'd be candidates. Tarja was not the smartest in the group, but she didn’t panic in tight situations, plus she had one talent that was useful: Asian martial arts. Her skills were honed with over a decade of experience, started by a teenage obsession with Bruce Lee. She also had recently taken up Parkour, a stunt like way of movement that suited her unique personality. She was currently studying under an Aikido dojo, & the two skills meshed well together, much to the amusement of the sensei & much more to the dismay of the now-ex-boyfriend.
His posturing as 'the man of the household' after he moved in had rapidly irritated her & had become a matter of hostility between them. In the last 2 months they were together, he had been so totally emotionally unavailable, it was like living with a sociopath. In retrospect, she finally saw he had no intentions of ever giving her the relationship that she wanted. He had decided from the start she just someone to enjoy right now, a pleasant plaything that only deserved the bare minimum of attention & affection to keep her hooked. …Like I'm supposed to exist on crumbs, when I need a full meal! Tarja thought with a wry twist to her lips; why did I stay so long? I must be a sucker for green eyes & great abs…he DID have a great body, but I never got why he was always nitpicking at mine - I'm not THAT bad, am I, God? She looked down at herself, remembering his criticisms of her thick legs when she worked out, the pressure to dye her hair blonde, get a tattoo that said "John's Plaything", even to add a cup size to her breasts via surgery; the barrage of negative commentary had driven a wedge between them until she just exploded one day & told him if he didn't like her as she was, then play Dr. Frankenstein with someone else. He lashed back with the reason that he was only trying to make her the best she could be & if she couldn't take the heat, then get out of the kitchen. Upon which she frankly replied: "You want the best for me, but only as YOU see it!" The startled man saw he had been exposed, his motives pegged to a T by a woman whose mind ran like a smooth motor, not the broken engine he so typically preyed upon; he left with all speed, leaving a debris of unmatched socks & unpaid bills for Tarja to clean up.
In truth, the man had little to improve upon; Tarja's body was as well-honed as her skills, a fusion of Russian & American blood; her face was a smooth oval, delicate cheekbones setting off well marked brows, smoothly curving as the Japanese katanas she lovingly handled in her Iaido classes; her eyes were her best feature, beautifully tinted in a light smoky blue grey with distinct lavender undertones; other, more amorous lovers had likened them to a rock star's eyes, or the gemstone tanzanite. A long silky dark fringe of lashes gave them a false sense of shyness, until one received a direct look, which could be clear as dawn or sparkling with sarcasm. Her legs, indeed, her entire body, was far from the 'average' that had left the last lover's lips; creamy brown tanned skin clothed a well-knit frame, lushly padded as a woman's body should be in the right places, the breasts a perfect shallow curve of a wine glass, a narrow waist with just the right hint of a visible line of muscle running vertically down as if to point to a lovely flare of hips. In a way the loveliness of her body was a deception; her sensei had once described her to another as a lioness in the savannah, all glossy & smooth on the surface with masses of hard muscle underneath.
Perfect, Yevon agreed. Come with me, I have what you need...and what needs you…
As she clambered down the rough pathway to the ground, a faintly glowing firefly caught her eye; a bit surprised, she saw a patch of color illuminated on the rock – A petroglyph! She excitedly thought, & distracted from her careful path back to the safety of the distant campsite, she turned to it. The moonlight dimly illuminated the slight protrusion in the rock wall & she could make out an outline of a spiraling circle with curious turns inside of it. Her fingers began to trace the design & oddly, the firefly stayed where it was; as she wondered why it did not move, gravity shifted with a sickening lurch; the spiral faintly glowed yellow green, then faded before her frightened eyes; Tarja's first thought was an earthquake, but there was no sound, no rumbling megatons of moving rock & earth; she wildly looked about her, her eyes taking in a blurring landscape; she pressed herself onto the rock for protection, now looking up at the sky for any sign of an explosion, her next logical reason that her mind could grasp. With horror, she saw the stars swirl as if in a cesspool of glitter, then they blotted out; she felt herself falling, she screamed & kicked her way as if through thick honey, but it was useless. She was caught; she struggled until blackness overtook her, flooding her skull with welcome oblivion.
The hand of Yevon was gentle & the gate between the worlds gently laid her down in a patch of soft grass growing in the remains of a temple on Mount Gazgaret on the world of Spirea; it was also in the season of early summer & birdsong awoke the displaced woman from Earth, disorienting her at first; but she quickly discovered her mistake as she tried to stand, & nearly fell, due to the slight difference in gravity. The sky was a brighter blue than Earth; she felt slightly dizzy, and kept trying to take larger gulps of air, which made her dizzier. It didn’t occur to her for about an hour that the mix of oxygen to other gases here were different. She tried to breathe more shallowly & soon found she could stand & move without stumbling, if she just stepped a little more lightly. She made her way around the little clearing, noting the crumbling stones of walls & remains of what seemed like an altar, burnt black, but old & cold. She sat on a wall, looked around her & realized she was not anywhere she recognized; she felt a rising panic as she examined possibilities & concluded she was either dumped in the mountains as bad joke, or someone had kidnapped her, then left her here. That dizziness could have been drug-induced – Didn’t Jack give me a beer from his cooler? She quelled rising panic with making a plan. OK, find a path, down this mountain. Find water. Look for tire tracks. Watch out for people, it might be someone I don’t want to meet. Take stock of what tools you have. Oh, great…Flashlight, matches, granola bar, bandanna, pocket knife. Not much, but better than nothing…Let’s see what’s around here, maybe something I can use…maybe if look over the side, I might see a cabin, or a gas station…
The look over the side showed only steep glens & pretty white streams, no civilization. She started to note differences in natural growth, the wild creatures & even the very dirt itself. Wherever I am, this is good earth! OHH! Eagles! She delightedly thought, her eyes following a pair of black eagles flying in tandem on a draft through steep glen of trees with needles like the pine, but again a touch different – longer, more black than green, stirring in the cool breeze with a clear resinous scent that she inhaled with pleasure.
The pleasure was spoiled by a short scream behind her, & she turned about, only to see a group of men, clad in rags or mismatched bits of clothing, all oddly & primitively armed to the teeth, with one of them bearing a small creature in his arms, an obvious sacrifice for the altar. She at first tried not to panic at being seen, holding her hands out & smiling, but they would have none of it – she was on sacred ground & as man, they strode forward, drawing weapons to kill the defiler of their holy ground. She didn’t understand the words they cried, but the faces she knew too well.
Tarja wildly looked for an escape route & saw one. On the left, there was a gap in the crumbling walls; she darted through it & sprinted for all she was worth down the path behind the men; a pair were sent running after her, but she was a troublesome prey, as she changed direction, and seemed to skip through the changing landscape of the craggy path with a sureness of foot that soon left them disconcerted & gasping for breath. However they persisted, as the order was death; & death came swiftly. It came in the form of an arrow, singing in the sweet mountain air & landing with a solid thump in the neck of the first wild-man hunter behind Tarja; mistakenly, she ran towards the source, then startled, she threw herself flat as another arrow came whistling up to her; soon a sortie of 6 men came into view, one of them with a great bow almost as high as himself, all neatly clad in travelling armor and wielding simple primitive weapons, just bows & swords, with knives stuck in waistbands. Another arrow took out the 2^nd wild man hunting her, and as the bowman- sniper paused to ensure his target was hit, she rolled & began to run back up the path; she was deeply frightened, as she it finally hit her that she was not on Earth, she was caught in the middle of an ambush, she was on neither side & both wanted her dead.
The chase was on in earnest as they slowly but surely caught up with her struggling up the steep mountain path; of course, it had been much easier to run down the path than up, and the slight differences in the gravity & the air soon became large; she soon struggled to keep moving, stumbling into trees & breath became ragged, as her body could not wholly adjust yet to the new mix of oxygen & nitrogen flooding her bloodstream; they cornered her on the small pass, where the path was close to the edge of the mount, a lookout that gave a glimpse into the dizzying depths of the glens below, where a thread of a glacial stream could be heard chattering.
She picked up a rock as they drew near, watching her gasp for breath & they slowed, a sudden odd look passing over their faces as they got a good look at what they were really chasing – it was a girl, a wild one, but oh, what a beauty! The bowman was superstitious, and barked an order to stop, as he had caught the full impact of Tarja's unusual eyes; soon, the others saw why he paused, & they grinned, eyes darting sideways at each other in agreement: she may be from a wildman’s clan, but she was a jewel of Yevon & they'd be fools to leave such a gift unwrapped. To lay with a woman so finely fashioned with eyes the exact shade of mountain jade was not to be thrown aside! Later, she would bring a pocketful of gold when the lords of the small militia & cavalry caught up with the advance scouting sortie.
The thunk of a sharp flint against the cheek of the closest man surprised & irritated him; impatient, he strode forward, drawing his sword to frighten her into submission; wary, desperate, Tarja slowly backed up until her feet hit the cliff edge; he shook his sword & bellowed; she did not flinch as she picked up another flint, & let her eye slide sideways to the depths below. The tanned cheek whitened, realizing she had no escape, except on his sword or down the cliff side. Her face further blanched as she quickly weighed cliff side vs. rape, then the unknown, most likely unpleasant.
Enough. Don’t die a victim. You’re not leaving these mountains alive. Tarja raised her eyes, her face deadly calm, the eyes now clear & soft as she took in each of the men, silently saying: I see you, I understand what you want, but I choose my own death. The bowman was the first to understand, knowing something of taming wild creatures; his face softened & he shook his head, holding out a hand, beckoning her back; he barked out words in a soft mellifluous language, and the men all went wide eyed & began to shake their heads & beckon with hands & voices, also. The irritation fled the closest man's face & he slowly, deliberately lowered his shining blade.
Another short command from the archer sent the farthest man slowing backing away from the lookout point & then pelting down the path in search of the one the archer knew, the haughty consort who could fight like a man, ride like a demon & knew the language of wild things as well as his own Spirean.
The man with the sword said something to her & he made a show of sheathing his blade & stepping back slightly then held his hands down, slowly drew them apart in flat line; he carefully squatted, but kept his gaze on her, a silent watchdog. She looked at the other men, & they stood still also, the bowman carefully balancing against the great wood bow, his face calm & flat. She was puzzled – what were they waiting for? Her resolve weakened at the inaction & she wavered on the cliff edge, caught in indecision. And so, for what seemed like an eternity of purgatory, the scene remained frozen: Tarja on the edge of the cliff, ready to jump; the guards standing still, not wanting to be the one to be blamed for the death of such a valuable prize.
Finally, the beat of horse hooves were heard echoing up the path, then Tidus came striding up; his step slowed as he assessed the woman's precarious perch & the indecision on her face. To Tidus' eye, she had the look of a wild thing; he approached cautiously as if she were an animal instead of a desperately frightened woman. He quietly stood still, & caught her eyes. He almost whistled as she looked at him out of the corner of enchanting almond shaped eyes; they were set in a lovely face, lightly tanned skin stretched over gently curving cheekbones, emphasizing the near perfect oval of her face; delicate golden brown eyebrows swept in smooth arches above the wary eyes tinted an unusual blue-lavender-grey, that rarest of colors found in mountain jade.
No wonder they are fussing over her instead of letting her jump! What a wild beauty! I'd take her for myself, if I could, by Yevon! Now, how am I to snare this wild bird? Tidus thought quickly & decided to treat her respectfully, like she was an equal; he trained hunting hawks & eagles from the wild, & had decided this creature was no different; his respectful approach worked very well with the predatory birds, calming them. The woman calmed also, the fear leaving her eyes as he stood there with a calm face & respectful admiration in his eyes. His gloved hand waved the guards back & they slowly walked away one by one to the trailhead, leaving Tidus alone with the woman on the granite cliff edge.
Never breaking eye contact, he slowly held a hand out to her & silently pleaded with his eyes to approach; after examining him for some time, she raised her hand from her side also, but let it drop with a jump when a guard foolishly stepped on a branch with a crack of noise; Tidus regained her attention with a soft whistle, & started to speak words to her, softly calling her to come, enticing her with pet love words; again he held out his hand, slowly dropping to one knee as continued to coax her forward like reluctant wild eagle: "Ahhh, come now, come to me, my darling, my washiita, come…come…" slowly she took a step towards him; he remained where he was, the soft murmur of endearments changed pitch into a seductive low husky whisper as he told her how beautiful she was to him, how he wanted to hold her close to his breast, he wanted her to come to him, he would love her like no other…he knew he had won her as he felt the lightest of touches on his fingertips; the next moment she had knelt also, looking into his deep blue eyes, softly saying something in a tongue he could not fathom; all he could do was nod, mesmerized at the beauty so close to him.
His heart pounding, he slowly rose & quietly walked her away from the cliff edge & down the trail head, respectful of her person & quietly murmuring all the while. He ceased his love words before the others heard him; he wasn't about to be teased again for loving his wild things more than the Lady Yuna. Actually he didn't love Yuna at all; he was infatuated, flattered, attracted, charmed, anything, everything, but in love. He wished he could fall in love with her, but something always kept him on the edge of that mental cliff, vs. falling off, just like the wild woman he just captured. The campsite came into view & he simply walked the woman straight over to the young cadet on duty at the captive's tent & told him to handle with care.
The next morning, they broke camp & started their journey back to Bevelle; Tidus rode up on his bay to the captive's line & checked on the wild woman; she took his presence in stride, replying in a smooth, but incomprehensible language to his greeting. He attempted to ask her through simple words & gestures If she had been treated well; she understood something of his query at least, because she arched an eyebrow, raised her tied hands to demonstrate it was NOT what she wanted, & gave him a look that would have leveled a lesser man. Tidus merely shrugged it off, leaned forward in the saddle & teased her with one of the eagle's feathers hanging from his reins, saying: "You'd think I'd let such a fine bird escape, once she has come to my hand, washiita?"
He leaned back, gave her his best girl-chasing smile & looked for its effect on her; she didn't speak anymore, but it seemed the set of her jaw softened & her eyes did turn his way; he caught his breath at the glance upwards from under thick lashes, thinking: Ah! Such liquid orbs of mercury could level a man, should they warm with a welcome! Perhaps I will have a bedmate tonight….
Tidus waited until after the evening drinking round had begun before approaching the sergeant in charge of the captives; he had just brought him a third round of the fiery camp liquor & was about to ask him to allow him 5 minutes to see if his wild love-bird was willing to go with him or not, when a ruckus broke out in the captive's tent. The sergeant jumped up & ran, Tidus following hot on his heels; they pushed through the small crowd of soldiers & came upon a dreadful scene; one of the cavalry, a nobleman that was one of Yuna's peers, was dead, lying with his neck at an odd angle, obviously broken. There were signs of struggle on his face & body; his clothes were wildly disarranged, the pants loose, instead of neatly tied at the waist; the obi was missing.
The cadet was dragged forward & the sergeant slapped him roundly, then demanded his report. The cadet, white & shaking, tried explain that he was bribed by the lord Yamashita to enter the captive's tent for a woman he desired, a common enough practice, but things went awry - instead of submitting to the lord, the woman had been possessed by an evil demon, & not only refused the lord outright, but had broken free of her restraints & overcome the lord, all in the space of less than 5 minutes. Equine feces! was the sergeant's roared answer. How could a mere woman break a trained officer's neck? And why was she in restraints? And if she WAS restrained, how could she break free of good Spirean rope, strong as steel, unless it was something else she was restrained with? Bring forward this demon-possessed woman and let us see her possessed state!
The guards hauled forward Tidus' fantasy bed-mate, the wild woman from the mountain; shreds of the silk obi were around her wrists & neck; her oddly fitting dark clothes were ripped, & there was a bite-mark on a creamy sun-browned shoulder. She stood calmly, no trace of demonic influence about her that any could discern; her face was proud & defiant, yielding nothing, even when the sergeant bellowed & pointed at the lifeless body on the ground. She spat out a single unknown word with an expression of extreme disgust. Then she simply looked at the sergeant, gave a half smile, sparks of pure devilment in her silvery eyes, her face flat with hatred.
The cavalry wanted to lynch her right then & there, but the captain of the guard stepped in & his voice laid a burning imperial whip across their tongues, shaming them for taking law into their own hands; humbled, they backed down. It was decided she would be simply bound & shipped to the capital to be sold for the dojo for prize fighting or the mines. Yamashita had a wife & it would never do to report he had been killed trying to get between an unwilling woman's legs.
Sadly, Tidus stayed up with the sergeant that night, killing a bottle between them until the fires were embers, as he recalled those eyes of hers looking at him that afternoon, with a glimmer of trust. What a waste he thought. The sergeant echoed his thoughts & something of his personal disgust at Yamashita showed through in his drunken face; quizzically he commented before passing out: "I thought if anyone were to going nest with the little eagle, it'd have been you! And none of this mess would have happened!" No, I wouldn't have forced her; She'd have been a nice warm armful tonight & not so demanding as Yuna…Why do we men force ourselves on the unwilling? Why did she kill him instead of just kicking him off & reporting him to the cadet? How strange. It doesn't fit together right. I'll think about it tomorrow.
Upon the militia's return to Bevelle, the small cavalry division Tidus belonged to went their separate ways after agreeing to meet for dinner that evening at the Inn of the 4 Awnings, then attend the prize fight at the dojo that night. The captives were delivered to Lalu's for holding until they could be auctioned off in the slave market of Bevelle.
Chapter Two
"One mark of a great soldier is that he fights on his own terms or fights not at all."[ii]
Unfortunately, the story of Yamashita's death was whispered in the ear of Yamashita's brother, & true to the Yamashita intolerable pride, he bribed the justicary to sell the intractable wild murderess to the dojo, where he would ensure she paid for her crime against the Yamashita clan with her life, and just as unpleasantly. The slaves at Lalu's heard the story of the broken neck & gave her a very respectful distance, as she was dangerous; they shrugged at the story of being forced also & turned back to their practice in the little dojo yard, each single-mindedly hoping they might survive the fight; for if they did, & pleased the crowd, they might live long enough for a case to come to trial.
Tarja was in a state of hysteria, bordering on post-traumatic stress disorder, after being thrown into an alien world with nothing but her wits, having had been captured, then subjected to the humiliation of rape; she tried to eat, but threw it up & burst into tears as she tried to clean herself in the cold stone bath of the captive's house block. The old attendant took pity on her, and laid a quiet hand on the golden brown head, which helped the distraught girl calm her mind. She gave a shuddering sigh & quietly brought the ancient's hand to her forehead in respect, since she knew no words of Spirean. The ancient crone grimly nodded at the signs of Tarja's forced sex act on her body, looked at her with a gleam in her rheumy eyes & drew a line across her throat, then pronounced "Uragimono!" with a cackle. Tarja could not help but smile & also slashed her throat, twice for good measure. The crone decided she liked this creature; she had spirit & just might make it out, if she were clever. She mimed at Tarja to look at the bath water, then threw in a pebble, which sank. She pointed & shook her head; then threw a wood marker in, which floated; she pointed & nodded, then pointed at Tarja, the finger poking her forehead, the ancient eyes now hooded & sharp underneath the heavy wrinkled eyelids.
Tarja suddenly remembered her sensei's advice when discussing Sun Tzu's Art of War: "When you find yourself in events beyond your control, do not try to stand against it, like a rock in the river; rather, be a twig & float along until an opportunity can be seized, then strike, & strike deep to change your course."[iii]
The crone made a gliding movement old as time with her hand, & her high pitched cackle echoed in Tarja's ears all the way down the corridor to the arena later. She was now on the river of events in this bizarre medieval world. She would float.
The dinner at the 4 Awnings was much lighter in mood, and the little group of volunteers all were pleasantly excited by the upcoming prize fight, laying wagers eagerly on their favorites. Several consorts & courtesans were in attendance to round out the party, which would have been a dull affair had their wives & formal girlfriends been in attendance. One of the courtesans, a favorite of the Yamashita clan, became drunk with wine infused with lotus root; she then gossiped a choice bit to her friend, whom then told her cavalry lover; then soon the whole room knew the wild woman had been sold to the Bevelle dojo & was going down hard tonight.
This prompted a flurry of more bets to be exchanged, some of officers now putting money on the fierce little eagle that they claimed Tidus had tamed with just words; he protested, saying the wild eagle-woman was just that: wild. She didn't understand her role in civilized society. Several courtesans & Yuna piped up with the comment they were glad it was not their lover whom tried to nest with a killer, which gave Tidus pause; he thought: What if it had been ME in that tent instead of Yamashita? Would she have broken my neck? Perhaps Yuna is right, I should be glad… he sighed, and upended his cup, then held it out for more.
Yuna gracefully poured a draught, a vision of civilized beauty in her delicate jade green kimono, hair piled high, adorned with the gold & pearl flowers gifted by her consort peeping out above a pretty shell-like ear, congratulating herself in a very civilized manner at the way she had nipped Tidus' sympathy in the bud. She had noted the distracted mood & heard the gossip of how he had brought her down the mountain & followed her in the captive’s line. She was also still angry that Yamashita was dead; they had shared many pillows in the past, until she had seen Tidus in the capital at a kura-mei party. The fact that two men she knew as lovers were attracted to a wild woman bespoke of said woman’s attributes & Yuna did not take rivalry easily. She began a fantasy of tearing into the face of her imaginary rival, gently smiling as she imagined the red blood running down the woman's face, as she, Yuna, licked it from her delicate fingertips, in an ecstasy of triumph.
The timekeeper of the dojo struck the 8^th hour of night & the time for prize fights approached; the troop with their courtesans, girlfriends, & hangers-on all crowded into their seats in the first terrace, closest to the square floor, sanded to absorb blood. The patrons & the wealthy sat in two levels of low terraces, leaving a steep balcony above & standing room in the back for the rest of Spirea; the fighters were pushed through narrow corridors below & came out at opposite sides; then the doors were barred, preventing escape, until only one remained standing.
Tarja was shoved onto the dojo floor & a soldier's katana was thrown in front of her. The door clanged shut & metal grated as the bar dropped down. She saw Tidus; hopeful, she ran back to him, the incomprehensible language pouring from her lips; it was obvious she was begging for mercy & did not want to fight, but neither Tidus nor Yuna would give her a sign of acceptance. Tidus' face softened momentarily, pitying the dirty, dusty creature; he did not like the caged prize fights much, they were usually uneven matches, a guarantee the hungry crowd would be fed its meal of blood. He remembered Yamashita's broken neck & shook his head no, slowly & calmly looking away. Yuna smiled delicately & shrugged, looking adoringly at Tidus, clearly indicating his wishes were king, her heart singing at the chance to inflict as much damage as she could to the rival now in front of her. By Yevon, she was a beauty, made for passion! Yuna felt jealousy flame at seeing Tarja's exquisitely colored eyes. No wonder his interest was caught! But no more, he is my pet, don't you see? He is tamed to MY hand!
The babble of the crowd stopped momentarily, & a hundred mouths or more took a sharp intake of breath as the slim dusty figure stood from the kneeling position she was in & gave the aristocratic pair a regal bow; she then unsheathed the long sword, pointing it at them, bringing it across her chest in an odd, unfathomable gesture that seemed half respect & half derisive. Eyebrows were raised at the obvious breach of manners shown by the wild woman, which amused Bevelle's temple maester sitting across the floor from Tidus & Yuna. Maester Seymour delicately sipped his wine, fanning himself as he watched the crowd behind his gently smiling face, light blue eyes giving away nothing of his interest in the woman on the dojo floor. These fools think she's a stupid wildling! I somehow doubt that; that move looked well practiced. I wish I could have heard what she said; the look in her eyes was enough to slay a man where he stood. That young fool of a consort must be drowning in wine or drugged to have missed it. Well, we shall see if she does slay; this will be most interesting…a woman lovely enough to be a courtesan, yet strong enough to break a man's neck, then somehow given to the dojo instead of the court; this picture does not fit. I must have more facts…
"We who are about to die, salute you!" Tarja sneered in English, her face a polite smiling mask. Touché, you wasted blonde haired bastard! I trusted you & you made me slave! Well, at least I'll go down fighting; God help me! Let me end my life honorably, don't make me beg for death anymore. It will fall on deaf ears here, didn't you see?
Tarja calmly turned to her opponent, and began to assess him; he was a small man, shorter than her by a good six inches; she immediately understood his weakness by the set of his head & his attitude; it was simple case of envy, what they nicknamed short man syndrome in her classes. He felt cheated by not being as large as others, trivialized. Otherwise, he was completely fierce & she had no doubt he was well trained, from the display of his complex kata moves for his dojo patrons.
Suddenly, she felt comfortable; this situation was familiar; her fear lessened & she boldly took a very basic opening stance in horse position, her sword in the first position everyone learns first day of training. She made sure he saw her; he grinned at her trainee display; then she frowned, cocking her head to the side; then deliberately, she broke position & settled her herself in a lower horse position, bringing her sword down to a child's level.
The crowd roared with laughter at her jibe at his lack of height & the fierce grin faded from the pugnacious face of her opponent; he screamed & began his attack, running quickly to her, then as he deftly feinted, suddenly leapt up froglike on his brawny thick legs & swung his sword high, intending to hack her head off; he was off balance, overconfident, and wanted her blood.
Tarja simply dropped to her knees, letting the decapitating sword stroke whistle inches above her head; she was now eye to eye with the screaming little banshee & on his draw of the second stroke, she smoothly continued her movement, letting the momentum of her swift drop build into a hard turn on her knees counterclockwise, unwinding force like a clock spring ; the sword in her right hand dropped low to her waist, at the moment her back was to him, then joined with her left, it whipped up with savage force, arcing up to meet the thick neck as she completed her turn on her knees, finishing behind him.
The head rolled off neatly & the headless stocky body collapsed in a heap on the sand of the dojo floor. Shocked, Tarja realized she had done it; she had killed, killed honorably & lived. She slowly realized she might get out of this alive, she wasn't as helpless as she thought. She decided to be audacious & boldly performed chiba, the ritual moves to shake her blade free of blood & precisely sheathed her blade, then walked away from the twitching body as if she were the empress herself on an evening stroll.
The dojo was a madhouse, everyone cheering, abuzz with the sight of their favorite entertainment taken to a higher level; indeed, she had singlehandedly brought a common prize fight to the level of an art this evening & it pleased them mightily. Dry jaded palates were now fresh & alive with juices, warriors were suddenly noting everything about the brief fight, hoping they could bribe the dojo master to let them play with the new slave; other slave warriors were slyly grinning & nudging each other, grateful that old Ahnu with his terrible rages was no longer there to torment them; everyone wanted a piece of her.
Tidus & Yuna had shouted themselves hoarse also; Tidus was absolutely stunned at the elegant simplicity of the move. No barbarian would fight like that. He began to wonder at that obvious point throughout the night, & concluded he felt that he had misjudged her somehow; there must be more, much more to her than what had met his eye. He pushed away the cup of wine that Yuna & the courtesans in the House of Flowers were keeping so assiduously filled. He noticed his mental functions were becoming foggy & he longed for his old sharpness of mind; the courtesan began to push, holding the cup to his lips, but he faintly smiled & placed two fingers across the rim in refusal, then unsteadily rose from his seat, seeking fresh air in the pretty courtyard downstairs. He took the cup with him, intending to pour it out & pretend he had drunk it, so he would not offend Lady Yuna, his consort. She simply didn't understand too much wine, too much of anything, affected a man's stamina.
Once outside, he took several breaths of cool night air, clearing it of the thick cloying incense burned in the pleasure rooms of the House of Flowers. He splashed himself with water from the little fountain, a charming replica of a farmer's pump, a single bamboo stalk dripping into a stone trough; body refreshed, he felt less dizzy & far less fuzzy about the edges. Yuna must be a drug for me & I am addicted, he thought; then a slow suspicion awoke in his mind; cautiously he raised the jade goblet & carefully sniffed; a faint perfume of lotus underlaid the sweet scent of the alcohol distilled from plums. Suspicion hardening into displeasure, he strode back into the pleasure house; giving his most charming smile he approached the nearest courtesan & presented the goblet & begged her to drink. She tilted the wine down, anticipating his attentions; he stood flirting with her for a while & then satisfied, he took leave of her. He had seen the eyes dilate & speech slur; the wine was drugged, all right.
But why? Why drug me? He asked himself as he & his consort rode home, Tidus pretending to be passed out in the tuktuk until shook awake by the porter of their home gate.
The next morning, during the daily weapons practice with the guard of their home, Tidus found out that the wild warrior woman of the dojo had been bought outright by maester Seymour after the fight. His disappointed face made the home guard laugh: "Oh-ho! A day late & a coin short, young sir! You should have given her the nod when she begged you for mercy & you'd have been waking up with a nice armful & a smile on your face instead of that scowl!" As they ducked & parried at the straw men in the yard, they discussed the surprise of a temple maester buying a dojo slave & all agreed there was an intrigue afoot. Tidus took note, & asked the men to listen about at the temple & tavern, offering enough silver for a few rounds of drinks or a girl if they brought back information. Startled, they wondered what woke up the young consort today, as he was usually hung over from Yuna's concoctions.
His head was much clearer today, as he had quietly poured the morning juice & wine goblet he was served into Yuna's favorite camellia pot. Tidus thought he would take a page from his old master's lesson book, & make good on his earlier refusal. He had decided to help the wild woman somehow – he was reminded of Sora Hanta, his favorite hunting bird, a black eagle; she too, had come fluttering to him on the mountain, her wing broken. She had shown no interest in the fight or the hunt after he had nursed her back to health, until a faction next door had spilled over, a small mob of fighting heretics & soldiers breaking into their compound 2 summers ago. Sora had risen screeching & dove in on the man Tidus had been fighting, talons ripping into the flesh of his face. He had been called Sora's lover for the rest of the week by the town of Bevelle, once the story got out.
When practice was done, he rinsed his sweating body off & changed into a plain black gi & pants with soft boots, intending to ride to the maester's home; However, Lady Yuna had been notified a shipment from the capital arrived & needed to sign a legal document to ensure it had arrived. Since everyone had to business with the maester on such things, she had also decided to visit maester Seymour that morning. She was dressed with exquisite care, knowing the maester enjoyed her business from purchasing brocades, silks & cottons for her family's household & training academy, all which had to be clothed in a manner fitting of their status in the community of Bevelle as the 2nd largest producer of rice & a warrior school for young men wishing to join the national imperial military. So Tidus ended up jogging along on his bay horse at a frustratingly slow pace, to keep her company & as an informal guard as his position of consort demanded. The compound of House Seymour was finally reached before the sun reached noon, but they ended up waiting for a half turn of the clock before the maester could see to their needs. Yuna fanned herself while sitting on a delightful turquoise silk pillow, gazing out at the north garden, which was another delight to her senses in the spring sun; drifts of color appeared with pretend randomness in the new green of bushes & trees; the air was filled with the sweet scent of peonies, just coming into bloom. When the black purple head of Seymour came into view, Yuna smiled at Tidus & gently waved him off, so she could have the maester's undivided attention. Seeing there were a pair of house guards present, Tidus took advantage of opportunity & bowed, then asked if he could walk to the aviary to check on a hawk he had healed for Seymour earlier this spring. Once away from the main house, he almost ran through the enormous compound to get to the aviary: he felt sure they would keep the wild woman locked in there, or in the stables & he only had a small window of opportunity to find her.
Oddly, she was in neither place; disappointed, he idly ruffled the hawk's feathers, gently scratching its head; it recognized him & leaned into the gentle fingers giving such a delicious preening in the sun. Tidus smiled at the recognition, softly chirped & trilled at the creature in its own language, then spoke to it softly in the husky whisper he used when taming all birds: "Kotori, watashi wa desu washiita?"
Sadly, it did not magically respond with an answer of where his sister eagle was, and simply stared back at him with a heartless yellow eye, then screeched a jealous farewell as he walked on. He walked back to the porch where he left Yuna, and to his surprise, Yuna was already back, but debating over several fabric samples in rich vivid colors; sighing, he wondered how else he could kick his heels until she had finished. He was rescued by Seymour, whom begged the lady to let him steal her 'sun headed shadow' for a few minutes to look at a new temple trainee. After they made good with a second escape from an indolent rich young woman with very refined tastes, they each breathed a sigh of relief as the door closed. A few minutes' walk took them into the guard's quarter, where a babble of voices could be heard, all trying to shout directions at one time, it seemed. The courtyard had a small knot of men in the corner, some with staffs, all nervous at something in the corner. The maester stopped, & spoke, a touch ruefully: "Well, Tidus-san, I know you are talented in taming wild things, perhaps you could be so kind as to lend me a hand with this today? No one can communicate reason to her!"
Frowning, Tidus walked closer to the knot, only to see a man come reeling away, with a bloody nose. It was her, all right. Secretly elated, he barked at everyone to back off, leave the courtyard, & lock it shut.
"Careful! 'ware!" called Seymour, safely looking down from the long second story balcony of the guard's quarters.
Tidus pretended to ignore the woman's feral state of mind, and walked forward to her, but stopped a good twenty feet away. He patiently stood still, but never took his eyes off of her as she circled all the way around him warily. Then he simply asked in a reasonable tone of voice: "Are you finished yet? Can I talk to you now?" he continued on, telling her his name, the name of Seymour, and where she was, in Bevelle. Tarja looked at him with little liking, despite the extraordinarily handsome face & calm, friendly blue eyes. She had begged him for mercy last night & received none.
Irritated at his ultra calm voice, & quite sure it was another trap being set, she filled with a deep anger at all the undeserved pain & suffering she had endured since arriving on this medieval planet; her temper broke & she ran at him in a full tilt attack, itching to get a piece of him; he picked up a staff & twirled it into blocking position, but the guard's sword she had in her hands hacked partially through the staff, bringing Tidus into a tumble on the ground; she raised her sword again, intending a killing blow, but paused when Tidus simply threw down his useless piece of wood, then parted his gi, exposing his chest, sun-browned, his tattooed house sigil of the imperial seal on the right pectoral. He raised his eyes & again, calmly looked at her, trying to speak in the silent language of wild things: – I see you, I truly see you; washiita, you are hurt & frightened, and I would die to make you understand me….come, come now, see me. Calm yourself. There is no need to die today…let me sooth your hurts, kill me if it will take away your pain…I see you…
Shaking with anger, but somehow mesmerized by the eyes silently speaking to her again, she paused; awed, the guards also sucked in their breath as Tidus' life hung in the balance, a razor sharp katana raised above his extravagant head of golden hair; she decided to spare his life, but not his pride; in a flash she whirled the sword down, stopping the blade at the swift lock of her slim wrists less than an inch from his neck. Her voice ringing in the little courtyard, she called out the only Spirean word she had learned since her arrival: "Uragimono!"
Traitor, she thought as she relaxed her stance, now confident she'd gotten her point across, seeing his iris dilate in surprise, a blush of shame creeping into his keenly sculpted cheekbones as the word for traitor sank in. A cry from his heart said the same: Traitor! Why didn't you listen to me? I was right about her!
She carefully put the sword down & crossed her arms, raising her eyebrows for his move, the gestures indicating she was done, her point was made. The guards suddenly erupted into laughter, as the scene was suddenly more like a lover's spat than the near death of a half royal bastard in the home of a temple maester. Tidus, however, was nothing but elated. He knew he'd won her, again. He cared not at the laughter, he knew the secret of taming; it was making a bond through love, not fear. He smiled suddenly, white teeth sparkling in an engaging grin, as he swept her a bow & stated: "I swear I never cheated on you, little eagle!" which, of course, again had the desired effect on the guard.
Tarja’s eyes were focused on his face & she suddenly exclaimed “Eagle!?” & shaking her head in a vigorous no, she uncrossed her arms, pointed at herself & proudly announced “Tarja!” Tidus again bowed, and gestured at himself, stating: ”Tidus; my name is Tidus Tanaka noh Ishii.”
Now that she was distracted from her killing mood, he quietly stepped up to her & softly spoke in a sincere apologetic tone, trying to convey he understood her anger at being treated like a wild animal instead of a civilized being. The woman looked a bit wary, then slowly warmed as she realized she had been understood, & the man was standing in front of her, with the warmth of the sun in his eyes, crinkling in understanding. He held his arm out, as he would to any lovely woman & she took it; he walked her to the gate & looked up at the maester to unlock it.
The maester also smiled in relief & invited the new interpreter of his new trainee to visit again tomorrow; the woman was now quiet, behaving with manners that bespoke civilization had touched her & let herself be led to the bathhouse by a servant. A yip came from within the bath house & she came running back out straight to Seymour & Tidus; unexpectedly she floored them both with a brilliant smile , chattering in an excited voice &… bowed! She then ran back into the bath house still speaking in her outlandish tongue, almost dancing in apparent delight at the fact there was a bath house. With a shake of his black-purple hair, Maester Seymour smiled at Tidus, quoting from the book of love: "Man's second greatest invention is not the kiss, but hot water!" then began to plan the new trainee's curriculum in his head as he walked Tidus &Yuna out the door a half hour later. Head buried in silks & brocades, Yuna failed to notice the bay's pace had slowed to a walk to match her sedan chair the entire way home. Tidus' head was also buried.

Chapter Three
"The skillful tactician may be likened to the shuai-jan. Now the shuai-jan is a snake that is found in the Ch'ang Mountains. Strike at its head, and you will be attacked by its tail; strike at its tail, and you will be attacked by its head; strike at its middle, and you will be attacked by head and tail both."[iv]
Tidus galloped his horse to the maester's as soon as his lady consort left the house; He threw himself into the task with enthusiasm, he had somebody to teach! Then every day that came after, he arrived at the maester's compound earlier & earlier, until he was like the old temple trainee he remembered, now up at dawn, leading the house in the morning salutations of the tai chi c'huan, eating clean, fresh meat & vegetables instead of the richly sauced dishes of Yuna's master chef and continued to kill the pot of camellias with the morning cup.
Tidus lost no time in throwing himself into teaching her his language & within days she could string together enough Spirean where the maester could ask basic questions of her, taking copious notes. Tidus walked her all over the expansive property of Seymour's , pointing out leaves, flowers, birds, the weapons practice room, aviary, stables, laundry, pantry, the temple rooms, the library; he gained much knowledge of what level of knowledge she was at from observing her; He was quite surprised when she was given paper, brush & ink. She then began to write in her own language, an echo of Seymour's habit, drawing pictures as need be. She had a strong angular hand, the letters neat & precise & she showed some skill in drawing objects. The concept of math was more difficult, as the two writing systems were different; he & the maester were somewhat mystified at her markings, until it dawned on them her numbers were represented by unique markings in combinations. Seymour had a child's abacus brought forward & she fell on it with an exclamation of recognition. A teacher was brought in to teach math & writing in the mornings, leaving the golden afternoons with Tidus. Jealous, he hung about for two days until he realized he could capture her attention all to himself in the soft early summer evenings & started to come at the noon meal.
For the first time in his life, he had something to offer a woman besides a consort’s services, & he started to feel a sense of self dignity; a glimmer of something like confidence crept into his stance & actions, until one day he realized he was taking the lead in a conversation, showing mistress Tarja how he launched & landed his hunting birds. She was awed by his black eagle, Sora Hanta, and clapped her hands gleefully as a child when he launched Sora while mounted on his bay running at a solid gallop; he curveted the bay around the girl in the golden afternoon, kicking up dust that fell in glittering veils of amber & apricot around them as she yelped, dissolving into peals of laughter as she threw a handful of dust back at him; their eyes met & they smiled at each other for an easy moment; with a shock, he realized that a streak of kindness ran in her & that she was looking at him not like an object but a person. He clung to the memory later, as somehow it excited him, & far more deeply than Yuna & the two courtesans she’d brought into her bed to play with that evening. Deep in the night, he shut his eyes, letting his body go into a programmed rhythm as his mind took flight, far away from the sordid scene he was playing out for Yuna’s pleasure, imagining it was another woman he was plunging into, her eyes soft and melting, no artifice to the soft cries as he brought a creamy brown tanned body to a sweet release; hoping no one had noticed his lack of focus, he brought them more wine, & made his escape as soon they drifted off to sleep in a tumble of silk sheets. He quietly returned to his own bed & fell asleep while randomly picking out bits of poetry: …stirred by her ardent eyes I felt my soul within me shaken & long forgotten senses rise…every breeze in the cold cold night was fanning the fire you set alight…
The maester spoke to Tidus about Tarja & her progress one afternoon: "Some things of mistress Tarja are still not known to me; I must ask her questions that she may not know how to communicate, but I suspect she is afraid to tell us: Can you ask her why she looks at the stars every night? Can you get her to speak of how she came to be on the mountain, & why she killed Yamashita? How did that happen? She was tied with an Obi, for Yevon’s sake! I must know, for I suspect; well…let me say I am troubled; I have no previous experience to guide me here – there is no documentation of her kind, even in the great temple library in the capital."
"You mean…she is an alien? We have several visiting ambassadors from other planets, maester; I don't see what you are getting to."
"Yes, but do you notice how much she is like us? How easily she adopts some of our ways? She may be a compatible race, but I suspect we are related more closely than I care to know. I confess it does not comfort me, Tidus-san."
Tidus kept his mouth shut, as he was personally glad Tarja might be compatible; he remembered how his blood was stirred by her, and was hopeful of a stolen kiss or two under the summer stars that night. He waited patiently in the courtyard, lit by enormous paper lanterns in softly bobbing rows as she finished her bath in the women's bath house. The bath girls had gossiped with him about how delighted she was when she was brought to the bath house, & almost went mad with joy when she discovered the hot water, washing herself, not once, but three times, both hot & cold! She bathed every day, like any civilized person here would do, & favored astanga resin soap over the tuberose or camellia scented soaps & oils the ladies of Bevelle used.
She came out just after sunset, dressed in a traditional bath yukata dyed in its pattern of indigo & white; Spireans loved all things blue, as it occurred in nature very infrequently. He was aware of how trim her body looked in the neatly wrapped kimono, thinking the indigo blue brought out the blue in her eyes, which fascinated him. She wore kimono & hakama as if she was already used to such things, which was a puzzle when compared to the dark close-fitting garments she had on when she was found. He made a mental note to ask her about Earth garments later, but for the moment, he indulged in a young man's interest of flirting with a girl on a summer night.
It made him happy to be walking in the evening in a lovely garden with the girl; it felt…simple. He was relieved to not have to plan so much out for a lady's comfort, such as clear walking paths for trailing robes, or ensure the pavilion had an abundance of pillows for a backside already well rounded. Tarja simply walked, as men did, observing, or listening , or stopping occasionally to tilt her head to the night sky & make scratches on her ever-ready pad of paper. She would look over & shake her head with a silent laugh at his compliments, as if to say she would not take him seriously. Intrigued, he could not always tell if she simply did not understand him, despite his use of the simple phrases he would use when flirting with a shy country girl or if she deliberately misunderstood him, playing the light game of flirtation well. Her Spirean had improved at decent pace & she could pass for a country girl, until her vocabulary increased & the accent could be smoothed out into the delicate cadences of the aristocratic high court. Of course, Tarja understood more than she let on; she knew what he wanted, but refused to be compromised. When they stopped at a small bridge arching over one of two freshwater springs on the estate, they leaned against the railing, idly dropping twigs & leaves into the current & watching the pyreflies flit in & out of the garden.
Quietly, he asked her if she could consider telling him how she came to be here, & where she was really from. He went on to say he & others had misjudged her greatly & wished to apologize, even help her return to where she came, if it were within their power.
Her gentle answer startled him: "You cannot help me. I was sent…no,…travelled… through space & perhaps through time to Spirea. I don't know where I am; I am…lost? My people do not travel in space & time…um…between worlds? Travel in space & time is just a…a theory." She gestured to the pad of paper as she continued: " I am looking at the stars here; I draw the constellations…oh? …I mean star pictures, I am making a map of the stars.” Her voice lowered with sad undertone as she continued: ”I do not recognize any of them. I…am…lost, as if at sea.”
“ Do you want to know something I think? I think other people from Earth have come here before me, but it must have been a long time ago. Some signs…what is the word?...symbols of your people are like people at home, on Earth. There was a land, in the East, hundreds of years ago it lived. The land was named Nippon…Japan today. The people were proud: very honorable. There were emperors, a Shogunate, Samurai, even courtesans called geisha. The people called their country the Land of the Rising Sun….the same name I hear when the servants speak of the imperial court."
She went silent, letting it sink it, then spoke again, struggling to find words: "Tidus, I know you see me wild…barbaric. You must understand me, in my home, I am a free woman….no slaves. I am free as you, a man...a lord of myself? I can own property, go as I please, marry or divorce anyone, be a soldier….a warrior.”
Tidus inwardly groaned at that last statement, now realizing she was not wild, but civilized & trained. He knew the answer to the next question, but he asked anyway: “Pretty Tarja-san, you must be a great warrior at home; I did not know how you broke Yamashita’s neck, but know I know. There are laws for killing here, but…did you know you may be justified? Found innocent? Can you bring yourself to tell me why you killed him?”
“You asked why I killed the man in the camp, correct? Tidus, on Earth, it is wrong for a man to force a woman to…to…have sex relations.” Her face became hard & set as she continued: “It is a law in my country, Tidus-san. To protect myself, my…honor, I have the right to defend myself by any means, should someone violate me or enter my home without my consent. My country has a human's rights written in it's …constitution…" Tidus' face showed puzzlement at the strange word, & Tarja substituted an older word: "…Charter? Code of living? –Anyway, the foundations of our civilized living have 26 separate amendments, like… laws, with many minor laws under each of them. The law I referred to is the second law, as it were. –Do you need me to talk to the maester about it tomorrow?" She anxiously asked, seeing the complete shock & bewilderment on Tidus' face.
Shocked he was, as it sank in that she was from a race that might have well founded his own here on Spirea, if the theory of travel between the two planets could be proven with the presence of a gate. Tarja was far more sophisticated than he had imagined, yet, she was leaning over the bridge, tossing in flowers like any country maid! His mind began to furiously work, so many questions arose as result of this incredible revelation; so many things fitted together differently now; he realized Tarja was looking at him oddly; he floundered back to the present moment & desperately searched for another question to ask her: "So…uh..Tarja…do you have a mate…or… um…a lover back on Earth?"
She burst into bell-like peals of laughter & rolls her eyes: "A thousand worlds from home, & all you think of is if I'm single or not!" bet you have a million girls already, she thought.
The mood changed, he found himself amused also. In a flash of insight, he saw himself & realized he was so much lighter inside than he'd been in a long time. He liked the idea of having her all to himself, & wondered if she'd be accepting of him as a lover; maybe not tonight, but at least he could get her to think of him as more than her temple trainer on Spirea.
"But, mistress, what man could resist such eyes, two mountain springs to drown in under a summer moon!" Tidus had a way with a courtly phrase, and he looked up under his lashes with a burning look of blue flame for a moment, utterly devastating to many of the maids in Bevelle & the Imperial Capital.
Amused at the hardened flirt clad in the innocent form of a young temple man, she shook her head lightly, & turned to walk back to the compound. Disappointed, Tidus turned back also. When they reached the little garden by the bath house, she lightly turned to him, then surprisingly, kissed his summery cheek, a swift brush of angel's wings; as he stood there, stunned in the warm summer evening, she threw over her shoulder: "Oh, if I should ever wish to fall for a man, I don't need to be tripped, Tidus-san."
The next morning was a busy one, with everyone starting to scurry about & prepare for the O-Bon mid-summer festival for the next 14 days; many families made travelling plans to visit shrines of ancestors in distant parts of the kingdom. The markets were busy with wives buying supplies, & trade in horses became brisk. It was an act of family piety to respect the graves of their forebears, usually reading religious texts aloud to ensure the spirits felt remembered & loved; many people wrote prayers or love-wishes on long narrow strips of colored paper or cloth & tied them to the cherry blossom trees that traditionally grew near the gravesites. The trees could be illuminated by lanterns or bonfires in the night, as the family gathered around to enjoy a small feast & recall the kind or brave deeds of ancestors passed.
Tidus, being a bastard child of the son of heaven in the capital, usually received one of his two annual invitations to the imperial palace, which he usually accepted, this year being no different. He planned to take Lady Yuna with him, after she had made her family visit to her family's summer house on the great lake north of Bevelle. It would only be six days, & they could make the trip to the capital in two days, if they took a boat, vs. sedan chair or riding. Some of Yuna's peers were travelling to the capital also, & with luck, they all settled on a 3 cabin junque for private hire. Tidus indulged Yuna in many things that morning; a new Obi, lychees in snow, custom blended incense for the family shrine, but quietly stood firm on no alcohol to drink on the river cruise; she lightly pressured him, a touch of fear behind her arguments that the party expected to pass the time with sophistication & ease on the river, it was so dull & old fashioned to take a slow junque, she would be bored, everyone else was going to , so why not try to fit in a little more? With hooded eyes, Tidus felt a prick of hard curiosity against the soft layer of swaddling his brain had wrapped in these past 9 months: Why is it so important that *I* drink? I smell her fear. And with fear, there is always deception. It's like I am being force fed delicacies like a pig, only to be slaughtered for a roast! For a millisecond, his skin crawled & his instincts screamed run, RUN, Fly, you fool!
Try as he would, he could not shake the fear; he was not a coward but something about his pretty lover just simply set him on edge lately. He decided he'd let her think she got her way, but planned a little ruse in the way of holy miracles: Somehow, the wine in the bottles would turn into water. He shortly laughed, put on a rueful face, then told Yuna he was being vain, he didn't want to ruin his waistline to please her, as she was everything to him & would be very sad if she nulled their contract because he was no longer her beautiful ( and slim) consort.
Her relief was obvious & she clung so tightly to his arm that he searched for a distraction to soothe the animal fear she thought she had hidden from his eyes. A jeweler's awning he was looking for was within sight, so he propelled her into the stall to buy her something.
The jeweler's case was filled with many exquisite things but one thing caught his eye: mountain jade. Yuna's eyes went wide at the thought Tidus was going to buy her jewelry in jade & she was flattered, forgetting her fear that the instructions she was given to keep Tidus well fed with pleasure were also delivered with the promise of pain if she did not. She argued with herself: It gives a man pleasure to see his lover richly adorned, I am not doing any harm! No matter if he doesn't wish to drink; there are other ways to ensure he gets his dose of herbs. I have obeyed; I have done all that is asked, the society will be pleased with me.
Mountain jade was an old gem in the history of Spirea; it was sought after for its smooth cool glossy finish & translucent quality that held an array of earthy colors from soft grey-greens to snowy white to a vivid leaf green; but the one color they all lusted after was the cool blue-lavender-grey, euphemistically named dragon's breath, eye of dawn, mountain mist, & so on by the jewelers to describe the subtle gradations of the color blue. Blue was only found in the sky & the ocean, one species of bird, 3 insects, & 2 varieties of flowers on Spirea. And of course, the human inhabitants had blue eyes; It was an eye color usually found in the south continents of Spirea; Zanarkand was full of men & women with fair hair, golden brown skins & intense cobalt blue eyes like Tidus; it was like walking in the streets of a city of demi-gods for the northerners, who tended to be bronzed or pale with brown hair, or even jet, with glossy blue-purple undertones & earth-colored eyes.
The jeweler's display case held a delightful array of jewelry in several shades of jade, some even set with minute sparkling diamonds or pearls to contrast. Yuna personally preferred green, as it usually held its value & set off her porcelain skin well; the blue was too subtle a color for her, despite its greater value. Tidus smoothly slid two bangles up her arm in a subtle caress & bid her to hold her arm up & choose. One was a lovely clever piece of work, incorporating complex carving of a dragon holding a link in its mouth, with sparkling white gold scales & minute diamonds for eyes; the other looked as simple as a kitchen pot next to a china vase, a plain cuff of stone, subtly shaped to a pure clean oval, but in the shade of blue the jewelers referred to as twilight; and indeed it was the exact shade of peaceful dusky grey-blue the sky & air takes when the sun has just set below the horizon& the spangles of night stars & pyreflies have yet to rise.
Yuna fluttered her adorable lashes & begged her consort to choose for her, stating the loveliness of the stone made it too hard for her to choose. He shrugged & slipped the twilight jade off, & surprisingly, slipped it on his own wrist; the blue was a better match for his golden looks & he paid for both without even haggling over the price, as he usually did. Yuna raised melting eyes to his face & promised him a night of ecstasy, but not tonight – when they were in the capital she would ensure he had the city's best to please him, & she would be there to play right along with him. Yevon help me, he wryly thought – if have to please all of them like I have to please Yuna, I'll be dead by morning!
All at once the back of his neck went chill; it was like long fingers of death brushed him with a light caress & the night of pleasure seemed fraught with darker overtones. A dark upwelling of choking fear rose at the thought of dying at the apex of pleasure & he wanted to be anywhere but here, walking down the street with this succubus next to him. Steady, he told himself; think of something light & clean & good; perhaps I am just overwrought; seeing my father always makes me anxious. He blew a kiss at Yuna, unwilling to even be touched by her flesh for some unknown reason & mounted his horse to ride to the maester's , as she stepped into a carriage for another of her ever-lasting society meetings; but the feeling of fear & evil still clung, giving the coachmen sinister, hungry eyes as they met in passing, leaving him clawing his way up from black ugly depths of death-thoughts mixed with ecstasy alone, with no one to help him watch his back or fight it. And there he sat in the saddle, staring after the carriage, gently turning the bracelet as if it were a magic talisman to ward off evil, unconscious of the fact it was the exact shade of Tarja's eyes.
The gallop in the summer afternoon to the Seymour estate soon dispelled his dark fears; he told himself he would talk to the maester about it later & ask about 'the society' as Yuna hushedly referred to it; Seymour would advise him with the voice of reason. This afternoon was going to be a day of freedom, as the maester was taking the day to finalize the preparations for his O-Bon celebration on the estate. He visited with Seymour first & was drawn in to his planning notes; Seymour was a personal friend of the emperor, & his wealth had financed the ambitious warrior-lord's road to the throne more than once; it had paid off tenfold the third time, so Seymour enjoyed a gentle rivalry with the son of heaven on this upcoming holiday. Seymour had very refined tastes, and possessed a major-domo that was a paragon of planning & project management, which the son of heaven regularly threatened to impress into the navy & send to the far end of the world. Tidus' bracelet was admired, as Seymour was an avid collector of the blue.
Generously, Tidus immediately pressed it on him as a gift for the upcoming holiday. Seymour accepted graciously, after the requisite two fold refusal that good Bevelle manners dictated & slyly remarked he might have been the wrong recipient, noting the match to his temple trainee's eyes. Seeing Tidus manfully holding down a blush, he turned up his charm & kindly suggested that Tidus come to his O-Bon & teach mistress Tarja; the guard was too scared of her to ask, & it would not do to leave his guest without a guide through the cultural aspects of the holiday, so as not to upset anyone. Upon Tidus' query on why they were frightened, Seymour flipped his glossy purple black mane towards the courtyard dojo & grinned at him: "Go watch & see for yourself!"
Tidus bowed, and lightly ran to the dojo, eager to see her, imagining her as he last saw her, in a pretty kimono, the soft brush of her pink lips warming his memory even more. The dojo was a sweating, panting, mess of men all surrounding the ring, exhausted from the exercise of rondori, a free for all practice where 2 or more attacked a single trainee; this was a very practical way to get the trainees to think on their feet, but how, oh how, the trainee in the ring right now made them lose their minds!
She never broke in the direction the textbooks said would happen; she did not fight standing straight up or in the 5 positions at all times, as a man should; she used everything & anything to move about the ring, take any advantage, or lever strength without effort. She dove, she turned & moved forwards & backwards on knees as well as on her feet; catlike, she would incorporate any feature of the landscape into her movements, even lightly running up a wall two steps to give her practice wooden katana enough force to drive through a trainee's rock solid defensive posture, his arms easily as thickly muscled as her thigh. Nothing she did followed the proper rules of combat, nothing was sacred, & damn it all, she was winning every time.
Tidus felt his blood rise like he'd never felt it rise before & before he knew it, he was striding forward, jerking his silk Gi off, and shouting the traditional Hup as he ran into the ring to join another trainee in an attack on her. He chose the wasp attack, his sword fairly buzzing with the fast repeated strokes in double circles, which normally would be surrounding him with an impenetrable shield of moving steel; sweating, hair half out of its neat tail, she looked at him with a dusty face, rolled her eyes with a look that said Idiot, and simply dropped from his gaze when he was within four feet of her; then suddenly, his feet were swept from under him & he crashed hard on his back. He slapped the ground hard to dissipate the force of the fall & rolled away, swift as a cat righting itself & scrambled to his feet, looking for her; she was upon him, with an overhand strike, and he recklessly dove in & threw her over his shoulder, kata guruma style; he thought, now there, THAT'S finished, intending to sooth her hurts in the bath house later that evening & maybe get a real kiss, but as he turned, she was somehow not crashing to the ground in a tumble, but falling through space, her arm subtly flexing & curling into a strong curve imitating the katana blade, then gracefully rolling down the arm & shoulder , arriving in a crouching position.
What the..? he thought, & insanely ran for his katana in the dirt twelve steps back, while she was occupied with his partner. Having chewed through the other man in a matter of four moves, leaving him rolling in the dust, she turned back to Tidus, a bit more dusty himself, who stood there like the calm in the eye of a hurricane, katana at waist level in 4^th position & a hand poised above in 1^st with a short tanto, thrown in by another trainee. She slowly picked up her katana & began to circle him, wary as the first time she'd seem him on the cliff side on mount Gazgaret; He began a verbal tease to distract her, calling her washiita & trilling at her like he would at his pet hunting eagles to come to him.
If she could have screeched like one she would have, judging from the look on her face; but he dropped the verbal jibe when she spun & threw the katana at him, aiming straight for his center body mass; had it been a real weapon, he would have been hit with a life-threatening wound by a blade as sharp enough to shear through bone; his distracted eyes followed it as it whirled to him through space & suddenly , a movement to his right caught the corner of his eye; he only had time enough to step mere inches to the left, & he simply grabbed in a wrestler's hold, then hung on through sheer strength to Tarja's mass, now crashing into him instead of kicking him to Yevon in the bright blue sky above; they both crashed over into the shallow pond in the south corner of the dojo yard & simply became a mass of arms & legs thrashing at each other for a hold; legs wrapped around waist & hip in an effort to gain any leverage; arms slipped & slid on wet flesh, neither gaining traction until a gi collar was finally grasped; gasping, Tidus felt her teeth sink in his pectoral & in frustration, he tightened his legs around her waist; then both exhausted, they both lay there, soaked, gripping each other, yet not giving an inch.
At that point the referee shut his gaping mouth & screamed "TIE!", then rang his tinny little gong in a fit of energy, so they'd stop. The guard trainers & trainees were silent for a moment, knowing 15 seconds more & she would have wriggled out of his grasp; & true to men, they all started to cry "Tie!" to support Tidus in what they thought was the best prize-fight they'd ever seen a man make with the little eagle trainee. They applauded him as they both rose from the muck of the pond, calling out "Washiita!" as a friendly jibe, appreciative of his persistence & at the same time relieved that the little trainee was shown to be being of the natural world, and not some insane demon or other legendary creature in disguise.
Of course, they all bowed with the utmost respect. Especially Tidus.

Chapter Four
"The good fighters of old first put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy."[v]
"Ohhhh…yes…there…"
"Harder?"
"Mmmm…please."
In the steamy warmth of the bath house Tidus was getting the best massage he'd ever had in his life, blissful contentment ruling his world; he had a look on his handsome face like a cat that had been fed at the expense of a flock of canaries as the bath house masseuse charmed away the aches & pains he had collected in the dojo yard. Where on Spirea does he find these people? He wondered; I can't even keep a pretty girl as a servant around Yuna, much less a talented one like this. Maybe I need to be more like Seymour & play the celibate.
He and Tarja had limped to the bath house, leaning on each other unsteadily, too proud to admit they'd had the crap kicked out themselves; they never saw the exchange of money between hands & the wide grins behind their backs, either. She bowed & left him to bathe in the women's section; he was half of the mind to go join her; it was entirely permissible to bribe the attendant & let them bathe together. He thought he had surely ruffled her feathers with the throw. He didn't know what to call the singing feeling of excitement running in his veins this afternoon during the match; there was no word for foreplay in the Spirean texts on the art of love & war, but damn, he liked it! As soon as the body bliss was over, he'd ask the masseuse to help him with the bribe. The hands stopped for moment & the masseuse held up the sheet to allow him to turn with modesty. She then quietly requested a few moments to get more oil, the maester's signature scent called the Steppes.
He laid on his stomach, relaxed, arms draped over the sides; he heard the masseuse's footsteps & sighed pleasurably as she gently poured oil in her hands to warm it, then held it to his face to breathe in the clear clean scent of astanga resin, cedarwood, & white myrrh. The hands continued on their journey, gently working him from his feet to his legs, his hips, & lower back; as the hands started to glide up his back, he was surprised to feel calluses on the right palm & with a quiet shock, he realized the hands were different; for a second he was filled with dark dread, that someone had come to assassinate him; but no, he realized it was Tarja – what other woman would have calluses on the right hand only, as a swordsman would? He released the breath he had been holding & melted into the table in pure sensual delight. She wasn't as skilled as the masseuse, but the thought of her making the effort to massage his hurts away made it especially delightful; he welcomed her attempts, almost sure he was going to not only steal a kiss later, but maybe get a glimpse of those beautiful breasts crushed against him earlier.
With the anticipation of a connoisseur, he felt her fingertips stray a little farther down on his hips than was necessary; they gentled to the point of a caress when passing over the bruise near his shoulder; her breath came close enough to the back of his neck to make the fine hairs themselves erect in pleasure. The sheet was held up & playing out the game, he kept his eyes closed as he turned to lay face upwards for the final loosening of the shoulders, & chest, or any work upon the core muscles. Again, she worked him thoroughly, releasing the tight broad chest muscles with small, deep chiseling movements of pure bliss, even gently working his face & scalp, putting delicate pressure on places he'd never thought needed massaging before.
His will became ragged as a swirl of long hair tumbled across his abdominals, slowly brushing his torso as she gently worked his obliques, bringing a mindless blind throbbing heat between his legs. Tidus almost groaned out loud as her lips softly kissed the bite mark on his pectoral in silent apology; then silence descended in the little room, cooling the throbbing of his heated body. When he finally gained enough self-control, he opened his eyes to nothing but candles flickering in the evening. For a moment he wondered if it was just his imagination; there was no trace of her in the bath house, as he walked through the hall back to the dressing room, opening shoji & peering into nothing but empty rooms.
Riding home in the soft summer dark, he lifted his head to the stars, feeling clean & whole; he caught himself speaking to Yevon almost like a friend; he hadn't prayed in so long: Yevon, whatever it is that is happening, bring me more! I wish...I wish my life was more simple & real sometimes, like tonight. Let me know she was for real…The breeze shifted & Tidus found himself with a mouthful of hair; spitting it out, he was puzzled: Huh? Since when did my hair grow so long? He pulled a handful forward & even more puzzled, saw a strand seemed much longer; then a shout of laughter floated up to Yevon, as Tidus saw an eagle's feather had been clipped to it.
Birds do not nest in bare trees, Yevon teasingly reminded him in the voice of his old temple trainer.
The next morning dawned bright & clear, the twin stars Vardi & Vashta hanging in the sky like dazzling pearls in the rosy light; Tidus led the daily meditation movements to start the day; the household was becoming quite pleased with him lately & the bows of respect afterwards were now genuine instead of perfunctory. He watched his lady get ready for her journey, his enthusiasm genuine, secretly relieved he'd be his own master for 6 nights & 7 days. The household felt something of the same & hurried to finish loading her travel case, her robes, & boxes of gifts she planned to offer. She left instructions with the major domo to ensure Tidus was brought his morning cup infused with herbs, but the packet of herbs was mislaid by the flustered man as he had forgotten to stow her parasol, the one in that perfect shade of pinkish red, so flattering to all complexions.
Tidus almost felt remorseful that she was required to visit for so long; it seemed she was trapped in ritual, tradition & family duty just as much as she was, until the eagle feather fluttered in the breeze & brushed his cheek.
Almost? Yevon whispered, amused.
Within an hour of Lady Yuna's departure, Tidus was swinging a leg up on his bay & the major domo was grinning in delight at the news he was given 2 days off with pay & instructed to send 3 changes of clothing, one formal party wear, to Maester Seymour's estate, along with the traditional gifts one sends a host.
Tidus brought a small package or two, one safely stowed in his obi for an untraditional, but entirely perfect gift for a certain guest. He pulled the eagle feather out of his hair as he rode; it was a small act of defiance directed at Yuna, but thought it'd best be tucked away during a formal occasion like the O-Bon.
His arrival was now one of several at the estate, as the maester entertained in a fairly lavish manner; he was well known to plan entertainments for his guests with great originality; the servants all liked the duty, as there was a feast for them in their own wing of the compound. The only beings not off duty were the guards; this was when they earned their keep. Seymour met his guests under the wide veranda, sitting on a brocaded pillow on a raised dais, his sleek purple black hair immaculate & his patrician handsome face with its pale blue eyes serenely smiling in welcome. He was also immaculately dressed in temple robes dyed in the imperial purple vs. green to denote his connection to the imperial house & display his loyalty; the robe was a work of wonder, handmade in the very traditional tsujigahana style; each length of fabric took hundreds of hours to create, hand-tied in careful knots in complex patterns & brushed with exquisite dyes untiI it seemed the whole pattern had been an organic act of nature vs. one created by the hand of man. His house sigil hung on his neck, the mountain jade carved in a subtle shade of dragon's breath, contrasting but complimentary to the simple bangle in twilight on his left wrist. A fan of rare white eagle feathers lay nearby to complete his picture of a perfect courtier, temple trained & every inch a sophisticated aristocrat.
Tidus greeted him in the formal manner of high court, and then was invited to sit & be welcomed as tradition dictated; Tarja was waved forward from a line of trainees sitting behind the maester's dais after a good 10 minutes conversation & charmingly, Seymour formally asked him to be her guide & mentor during his visit to teach her about the custom of honoring one's ancestors. In turn, he formally instructed Tarja to serve Tidus as a trainee of the Temple academy, impressing upon her the honor of his house had by a visit from a member of the imperial family in front of her. Tidus then took a strip of paper off the low table to the maester's left, dipped a writing brush into ink & penned a line of prayer from the 5^th chapter of Yevon's Teachings. As he did so, he spoke of the tradition & it's origin to help her understand the gravity of the action. He called her Mistress Tarja, bowed with an admirable grace, gently bade her sit next to him & asked her what line of prayer she would like to have written for the memory tree. She thought a few moments & with proper deference, she slowly recited a line of poetry from her world:
A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages[1]
It was a pretty sight to the other visitors, watching the young handsome lord charmingly explain tradition to a blushing pretty trainee; they politely smiled & drifted onwards to the guest rooms & guest houses they had been assigned, escorted by the trainees, all clad in impeccably pressed clean gi & hakama. Tidus was given a guest house within the main compound, one usually assigned to visiting priests & military leaders, which was near the trainee quarters; it was a master work of understatement combined with utter luxury, meant to inspire total clarity of mind & provide a peaceful retreat after a day of complex negotiations through the emotionally laden subjects of Religion & War.
Once off the pebbled pathway, one's feet felt smooth black granite underfoot in the entry courtyard leading to an inconspicuous entrance; pleasantly asymmetrical arrangements of bamboos & bushes gave it an air of seclusion; the floors were dark tatami, not light; warm bronze plaster was applied on walls, & black wood furniture gave greater contrast to the pools of light illuminating alcoves with simple elegant objects; the inner garden had a statue of Yevon in the pose of peace, one hand palm up, lidded eyes gazing serenely into a pond of peaceful blue water; a small stone lantern cunningly set at water level illuminated the little pool, giving serene reflections to meditate upon. The Yevon in the garden also kept a secret: behind the statue was a hidden door to a secret escape route. The guest house had its own bath, so he would not have to bribe anyone & could smuggle in his little eagle, should she continue to warm to him as she did last night. With a practiced eye, he looked over the bedroom to ensure it was big enough for two, & yes, it was; the coverlet of silk left him imagining how lovely Tarja would look against the shimmering bronze; he immediately began to look for an opportunity to be alone with her to pursue her consent & saw it when she asked if he'd like tea.
In a hospitable & charming gesture to the maester's many guests, the trainees were instructed in tea making. It worked delightfully well to have the simple, but necessary, ritual performed by a personal representative of his without having to wait for him to visit each guest personally, & making everyone wait upon his schedule. Like any other trainee, Tarja may not have had the most delicate of skills yet in tea making yet, but she made up for it when she bowed from her kneeling position by the little brazier, took up the tray with its pot of tea & two cups, and gracefully walked on her knees across the tatami, never spilling a drop, bowing extravagantly, as if he were the son of heaven himself. She broke down & laughed at his look, advising him this was how royalty was served tea on Earth; it eased the tension between them, and he also laughed, holding out his cup to be filled. Suddenly, he decided to drop the plan he had come with, an intense scene of seduction, carried out swiftly & in secret; it seemed rather too much like Yuna than Tidus, now. So he just decided to let it all go & just enjoy himself. He was just happy to not have to posture in the role of consort & wanted to just enjoy a simple holiday from it all.
The genuine admiration in his eyes & lively conversation did more to attract Tarja's attention today than a lover singing praises about her mountain jade eyes; many times she looked at him with equal admiration; her heart beat faster at the way his mane of gilt glossy hair would move with the slightest move of his head like a bird ruffling its feathers; the slimness of his waist off set by the carefully wrapped Obi recalled the rippling ab muscles gleaming with oil in the bath house; his tactful silence about last night's events intrigued her; the only mention he made of yesterday was the simple comment that he hoped she had not been hurt from his wrestler's tricks. They did converse rather easily for about an hour about martial arts; he thought they could incorporate elements of her style to make a better fighting unit & she could learn more about strategy. She in turn, tactfully replied appreciatively, but kept quiet about her knowledge from her 16 weeks of CIA test prep & debated quoting Sun Tzu's teachings, not wishing to break the peaceful mood between them. Regretfully, the gong announcing the hour of sunset came sooner than later, which left them only half of an hour to change & walk to the great veranda at the back of the main tower house of the compound.
As soon as she left the guesthouse to let him change for dinner, he berated himself for not giving her the gift he had stowed in his Obi earlier that day; as Tarja waited outside his door with a small lantern to escort him, he shrugged & stuck it back in his Obi as he left to see the first entertainments offered at maester Seymour's O-Bon.
Everyone agreed it was a spectacular start to the festival: Celebration began at twilight, Tarja escorting him to outdoor seating, some seats under the great veranda lining the entire length of the back of the main house, some under stars on small raised platforms, two tatami wide & luxuriously piled with pillows for those who wished to recline in the old manner; small lanterns by the hundreds lined the walking paths, all carefully planned to appear as a single large design of a lotus flower in bloom, the symbol of inner peace; guests were given incense sticks to set off the bonfire, Seymour leading the dignified walk around, all guests moving in step with each other , touching folded hands to heart & forehead after the incense stick was thrown into the oiled wood to catch fire with a sweet clean smell of white flowers & cedarwood that the maester had blended himself.
A delightful feast of all white foods ensued, grilled in little braziers by the servants by each group of tables & then ran to the guests by the trainees, now clad in spotless white gi shirts, still snapping & sputtering from the charcoal grill; immense white prawns split & seasoned with only sea salt & tart acidic yuzu juice, a variety of south sea ocean fish only known as ono - 'delicious' which was skewered with twigs of a sharp aromatic herb & brushed with white peach liquor as it charcoaled over open flame; pretty skewers of pearl sized onions & mushrooms carved like crowns; a palate cleansing salad of shredded white radish, crisp sprouts & white asparagus cleverly touched with white sesame oil infused with a single ghost chili pepper preceded a stunning dessert of white peaches from the maester's orchards, carefully skinned & set to spinning in enormous clear glass goblets of fizzing sparkling white wine with a single white rose petal stamped in silver leaf with the symbol of inner peace floating on top.
As the guests rose in applause at the supreme delight of the dessert course, Taiko drummers took their place by enormous drums & on signal, began to beat with a steady rhythm, twirling their sticks with great verve &soon intensified the beat into a thundering rhythm with beautiful poses as groups of white lights were seen across the little lake & started to eerily move towards the party. The drummers beat themselves into a frenzy as boats drifted up to the shore, ghostly, veiled in spangled netting, their oars muffled for maximum impact. Figures clad in white, some wrapped in sheer veils, some glittering with brilliants, all made up in white face paint & shimmering white hair in extraordinary arrangements disembarked with slow movements & awkward gaits like dead people risen from the grave. They leapt & giggled madly, or chittered & moaned as they moved into the ring around the bonfire. The drummers went silent for a full four counts, then broke into a new beat, overlaid with a chanting choir & wild strings to accompany the wild dance of the dead that ensued. A crackle of fireworks ended the show; the guests, servants & trainees all showed a gratifying enthusiasm for the performance, several of the aristocrats throwing bags of coin to the grinning, sweating performers. The party began to break up, some staying to dance around the bonfire embers to the single sweet zither being plucked in the distance, some drinking & catching up with each other, while others retired to sleep or make a tryst with a lover.
Tarja had done her best to be attentive to Tidus & he had enjoyed the evening, reminded of nothing & nobody for once. She knew the evening was young for people his age, mentally ran over the list of possible private parties he might like to join, then asked him what was his pleasure next.
"A bath with you would give us pleasure now, I think."
Nervous, she took refuge in formality, thinking she has misunderstood his Spirean, and perhaps more nervous that she hadn't. She evenly replied: "Of course, I will be glad to ensure your bath is ready; please allow me to leave for a few minutes & see to the servants for you; I will come get you when all is ready. Do you require a male valet?"
Amused he replied: "No, I thought you were mine for the next two days; didn't they instruct you on how to bathe with a guest?"
Her silence brought a laugh to his lips & he let her off the hook saying: "Relax, Tarja! A bath is not an offer to a bed! I just would enjoy some relaxation; I've been tense lately, & so have you. And besides, I enjoy our conversations. Come, now, what do you say?"
" I…I admit I have been…tense, Tidus-san. Perhaps we could discuss it a bit more when we get to the guest house? I… I think I've been too much for you to teach without disturbing your…um…inner peace?" She stumbled, ending the statement on a questioning note, as she could not recall the Spirean or Japanese word for that phrase.
"You mean my Shiwase? Oh. No…I have far different answer for you; come. We need to talk, & away from large ears." Tidus rose from his brocade pillow on the dais, bowed to the remaining two guests at the end of the table, whom were engrossed in a lively discussion over their racing horses & slurping wine like it was water.
The pathways back were still delightfully lit, & water sprinkled liberally on the plants, so everything had a subtle sparkle reflecting the golden glow of the lanterns. Tidus felt her hand gently laid upon his arm as she stepped over a puddle of water, so her carefully pressed hakama would not get wet at the hem; he took it in courtier's move & held her hand the rest of the way to the guest house.
"So, here we are." He caught her eyes in the mirrored wall in the sitting area, then held his hand out for her to come to the mirror. He drew her closer and bade her: "Look. How can I not look at you & smile inside? Life has been a lot more interesting with you in it than not. There are things we don't understand about each other, but perhaps if you'd just relax your guard & let yourself be a woman for a moment, it might not be so hard for you here."
"I am a trainee for a warrior, not a trainee for a courtesan - just how am I supposed to behave? I….I don't understand you sometimes."
He shrugged and carefully said: "Who says you have to be one way or another? You are in a unique position here; you can become whatever you want, since you're not Spirean. Perhaps you need to learn more about the role of a woman on Spirea before you choose to be a warrior. As it is, I think you're a warrior with an incredible talent; as a woman, you've charmed me to the point of even buying you a gift, without even a kiss passing our lips – do you have any idea of the effect you have on men here? Why do you think they stare at you so? Why do you think they did not simply let you jump that day?"
"I…I don't know, Tidus-san. Perhaps it's pretty obvious I'm not a local?"
A ripple of silky, sexy, seductive laughter chimed in the room. "Oh, my. Look again in the mirror. Meditate all night if needed. Don't you want to see what gift I have for you?"
She bowed deeply, then started with the traditional refusal, saying: "Tidus-san you do me too much honor, since when did I deserve a gift for anything I have done for you? I thank you and the-"
He cut into her twofold refusal & softly said: "I have a gift for the lady, not the trainee; how will I give it to you if you insist on being the warrior, Washiita?" He waited for any sign or word to tell him what direction to take; she slowly exhaled, & looked at his eyes reflected in the mirror; her own thawed from glacial mountain melt to liquid mercury, a soft blush appearing on her cheeks at last. He now smiled at their reflection, now more suitably matched to be man & woman. Slowly, carefully, never breaking eye contact, he slipped his arms under hers, his body just brushing her kimono; she could feel the heat of his body through the layers of silk & wondered if he felt her heartbeat, which seemed loud as thunder in her ears; his lean hands dipped inside her obi & his gift was gently slid in & left to peep out, as it was meant to be seen.
It was a tanto, the short blade which everyone wore, with a hilt-guard of two eagles above the wicked hundred folded steel; Tidus had a stylized symbol of two feathers in a circle inlaid in the black lacquer of the scabbard, again paying a dear price for mountain jade the exact shade of twilight; the visit to the jeweler's shop yesterday had been a ruse, another small act of defiance to Lady Yuna.
He neither took her in his arms nor stepped away from her; he simply stood still, letting her feel the warmth of his hands on her waist, near her back & in his eyes. Always gain acceptance before introducing a new intimacy; too many at once will seem like intrusion, not seduction, his mind reminded him, an echo of the old master's patient tone surfacing. But Yevon? He never told me how intoxicating it could be…no wonder some men go insane from desire…He allowed himself one more breath, inhaling the warm summer scent of her hair & sweetly commented near her ear before drifting away:
"So. Now you can really carve my heart out at the next rondori."
She opened her mouth & shut it as quickly as he shut the shoji doors to his bath. That man knows entirely too much about women, she waspishly thought. …And you're a woman, last time you looked; why run from it? Her heart asked.
She had no idea how long she stood there, her heart pounding, before walking forward, opening the shoji & shutting it before she had the chance to run. Tidus was lying in the bath in a relaxed pose, eyes closed with his head on the pool's black granite rim, the hot water soaking into his limbs like honey. He spoke without opening his eyes: "I'm glad you stayed – this bath is too good not to share with a friend. Hang your clothes on the hook to the left & there's oil, if you want it."
He was right; the heat was intense, but not suffocatingly so; it sent tendrils of warmth into her, filling her with a dark bloom of relaxation. She sighed in pleasure as the hot water did its magic, loosening mental knots as well as physical ones. A splash made her open her eyes nervously, thinking he was going to try & move in on her, but no, he was merely ducking his head to let the warm water soothe it also. Relaxed, she observed her surroundings, idly noting the understated luxuries the maester had so carefully planned for his guests: the black granite pavers were smooth, setting off the deep blue of the glazed tiles lining the little pool. Boulders placed with pretend naturalism around the pool made for a pleasing asymmetrical balance of nature & manmade against the walls. One shoji was open to the little garden where the stone lantern was reflecting in the shimmering water & the peaceful Yevon hung over, seeming to secretly smile on them from her perspective. No flowers bloomed, but the plants were a study in contrast & texture, with one miniature astanga tree hanging over the edge of a pot that came up to her waist just outside the shoji door. She idly commented: "I wonder what the maester's personal suite must be like – this seems so beautiful already."
"I've heard his bath is a replica of a mountain inn by the famous springs of Adana – he even imported boulders from there & a cedar from a cliff 200 feet up, just because he liked the way it grew– he is a very cultured man, with very cultured tastes, as you will see over the next two days. - But wait for an invitation to the imperial palace, Tarja! The women's bath house holds a bath as big as my dining room & has a waterfall, lined with quartz from Zanarkand."
A comfortable silence ensued for while & Tarja felt emboldened enough to ask him: "So….what happens after the bath? Do I stay the night?"
"No. You dry off & go to sleep in your own bed."
"Then that's all you want? Just a…bath?"
"No…but that's as far as I want to go with you tonight, Tarja. The art of love sutras teach us not to hurry through relations, but to enjoy them; and-"
"Love? You have lessons in love?"
"Why, yes. Don't you on Earth? Ah. I see. You do, but not like here. Well. I see I shall have to give you another gift tomorrow - and lessons. Now, go dry off, & get some sleep. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow, Mistress Tarja. You will be my trainee to explore the other side of life, as a woman on Spirea. "
Chapter Five
"The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting."[vi]
The morning sun breaking through the little garden & throwing playful beams on his bed set the mood for Tidus' day. He woke up clear-headed & rested; he nearly ran to the dojo in the early summer light & joined the guard in the morning salutation exercises, as the trainees cleaned rooms, prepared baths & food for the guard inside the keep. He just managed to get back, shower & dress himself before his trainee escort arrived. He had torn through his gift boxes until the one he wanted was sitting before him as he peacefully meditated on the Yevon in the garden. She looked fresh & lovely in the morning light, her gi & hakama wrapped tightly around her figure & freshly pressed. The tanto was carefully placed in the obi on the left side; the 2 feather sigil was a huge amusement to the guard, whom furiously placed more bets on Tidus' courtship of the little eagle. After ritual bows & greetings were given, he indicated her gift was to be opened & in the box lay a copy of the Art of Love, with illustrations by Otori Aisiwara. A common enough gift during O-Bon, but Tidus had planned a few more surprises for her later that were uncommon.
After meeting the other guests for the first meal of the day, Tidus approached the maester & pulled him aside to talk: "Seymour, I am so glad you invited me! I haven't felt this relaxed in so long! Um…speaking of relaxed, I think I've found out something about our newest trainee. We've been so intent on teaching her things like Spirean language & warrior arts, we forgot to teach her how to behave like a lady; she has no idea what being a woman on Spirea is really like, in a way. Do you want her to remain innocent of the role she can have? She is your trainee – I leave it for you to say."
Seymour's eyes gave nothing away, except a mild amusement at the question, while his mind furiously weighed the possible outcome against the risks & at the same time, laughing inside: Oh by the balls of Yevon! I thought he'd have bedded her by now! Either she is a hard mountain of fear to scale, or he is in too deep under Yuna's influence…hmmm...should I show a little reluctance? No…She is for him, the events may not fall into place if he does not break his current path. At least he is well mannered enough to ask, that is a telling point – maybe the society's influence has not touched him as deeply as his father's reports say. "Tidus-san, every lesson learned will be helpful to her." Then shockingly: "Even if getting between her legs helps to get in between her ears, do it. Do it, man. I prize the little eagle in my nest – she has true potential, Tidus-san." …And I fear you will not live to see another O-Bon If you do not, son of my closest friend.
Tidus' ears rang & his heart felt a stab of fear at the word: "Potential?"
"Yes! – Ah! Lord Ichihara-san! Most certainly, I will be right over! " - His crystal blue eyes now sharp with unspoken warnings he quietly finished with: "Tidus-san, I do for the good of the empire, not for any selfish desire. Trust me. I will send for you– my code will be to discuss next O-Bon – only you, no other. Large ears are close now. " Then chameleon-like, melted into the most charming smile & pitching his voice to carry a bit: "Start the lessons with the Art of Love!"
Bemused on the walk back to his guest house, Tidus thought over the man's bald affirmation that bedding his protégé was not only expected, but encouraged, & smelling something deeper than mere lessons to prepare for a life as a warrior for the court, he went out on a limb & decided to trust Seymour. After all, she was a rare delicacy, almost totally unspoiled or warped by the society she found herself in, & a seriously sharp weapon to boot. He placed his bet on his father having an interest & angered as all bastards are at their father, he said to himself – Oh yes, father mine, you can have her, IF you can get her from me. You may find yourself in a war with me over this little eagle. Heh, she might even scratch your greedy little eyes out if she prefers my hand to yours. And so, with enthusiasm, he began the first of his sutras, just like his old master: "Tarja? Can you tell me what love is?" "Yes, it's a feeling." "No. It's whatever we make it mean – Now, open the book & turn to the first chapter & read it aloud, please."
The beautiful summer day was spent outdoors; Tidus preferred the natural world as back drop to illustrate his dialogues, vs. a blank shoji screen; besides, vainly, he knew he looked his best when the sun hit his mass of golden blonde shagged hair & golden brown skin, giving greater contrast to his Zanarkand cobalt blue eyes, which were already sparkling with enough manly charm to make even a hardened courtesan's heart beat faster. He was glad he had dressed with care & had the house sigil of the imperial house; other guests of the maester's noted it, and some made up their minds to make acquaintance of the handsome blonde with the slim trainee with astonishing eyes of twilight jade.
After conversations with other guests were over, Tidus lost no time in pointing out to Tarja how the women & men interacted with manners & mutual respect; he teasingly translated the hidden language of gestures from the third chapter as they observed a jewel of Yevon, a dainty creature with hair piled high, delicately walk past a group of men in her kimono of vivid ombred pink silk & jeweled thongs; the touch of a flower in the glossy purple black as she glided by brought attention to the entrancing set of her head, almost tilted back from the weight of the luxurious weight of her tresses & the soft expanse of skin exposed by the gentle dip at the back of the robe, dusted with pearl powder to gleam invitingly; the gesture, which translated, said to one of them: I recognize you; I accept your attention. Her demurely serene gaze caught the man with a fan unfurling it, then snapping it shut with flip of his wrist to the pretty pavilion near the lake sending the silent message: I want to meet you - at the pavilion. She then gently downcast her eyes in an oh, so innocent, yet sensual manner as she crossed the path of a pair of servants, who somehow ran into each other, dropping silk pillows they were setting out for a lunch outdoors in the great veranda.
"…and that, Washiita, is the effect you manage to make on men without any training - Imagine how you would slay cities of men, If you should choose to learn these arts!" His memory flashed back to the heart-stopping glance she had given him striding in a line of captives & he thought: …And how you nearly killed me without even knowing it…
Demurely, innocently, she replied: "Slaying cities of men would soon deplete the world of Spirea very quickly – how about I try for just one at a time? " Starting with you, you handsome bastard. How come you didn't offer for me that first night? Why did it have to be Yamashita, & not you?
Laughing, he said: "I am about ready to die, Washiita...of hunger! Come, let us eat. He escorted her to a seat, handling her with ease & talking her through sitting down gracefully in a kimono vs. hakama. "But I'm not wearing a kimono, Tidus-san!" He grinned & said: "You will be…Tonight!"
They ate lightly from the tables set up in the cool shade of the teakwood porch; the meal was deliberately simple, to keep appetites fresh, as feasting Spirean style took stamina – it could last from the proscribed three courses in two hours, or all night long, like the new year's eve celebrations, with a never ending succession of trays & platters of food, delightfully arranged to please all five senses. After the rest from his dialogue on the sutras from the Art of Love, he walked her to the bath house & lordly, consulted privately with the attendants, then gently pushed her into their giggling midst & threw over his shoulder: "Don't you dare be a minute later than the hour of Wei." he threw a dazzling smile at them for effect, followed by another throw, this time a rather generously weighted bribe, which was caught with delighted squeals & belling laughter of the knowing girls; all bath house girls were a bit naughty, as they had been privy to some of the most torrid affairs of the heart. They were also the most sacrosanct of the trades, never disrespected in public, & could be counted upon to keep a secret to the grave. And so, Tarja was left to their merciless attention, while Tidus strode free to compose his own thudding, excited, happy heart for the next sutra: That Of Which Is Sensual.
To the day she died, Tarja would carry the memory of that long golden afternoon as one of the most erotic moments of her life: she arrived on time; the maids had her dressed in a pretty yukata , indigo butterflies on white, with her hair simply dressed; some of it swept back & up off her face & left dangling in the back in thick curving locks, while two more in front softened her exquisite face, now lightly touched with an angel's breath of golden pearl powder; they had boldly drawn a dramatic eye to bring out her unusual eye color, with sooty eyelash black & smudged lines blending seamlessly with a deeper shade of blue-lavender; they left her lips alone, just a light gloss of oil to keep them soft, thinking he'd be crushing them in a kiss by now; but no, Tidus was schooled by the best.
She was kissing clean from head to foot, polished & groomed to an inch of her life, but had not been perfumed at his instruction; the clean scent of astanga resin soap somehow fit her better, a reminder of the cold heights that eagles fly. He silently took her hand & placing another at her waist, led her to his bedroom, where he had the kimono laid out, then just as gently, tilted his head & waited. Shaking, she stepped out of her sandals, untied the obi sash & he slowly drew off the yukata. He showed no trace of nervousness or boorishness that men fell into at the sight of a lovely woman without any clothing on; his eyes were definitely filled & he made no effort to hide the fact he enjoyed the sight of her, but evenly kept his desire in check. He took his time looking at her, whole set of his lean body relaxed yet showing a deep excitement as he took in the long limbs, the perfect cup of her breasts, hair brushed to golden brown streaky silk; his eyes warmed appreciably at the sun-browned skin smoothed to satin & slim, well curved hips.
Finally raising his eyes to her face he regarded her with a direct, confident gaze that somehow bespoke a hint of a wild something below the surface of a civilized aristocrat & quietly spoke with sincerity: "Beautiful. Just beautiful. And a woman I see. " He pulled the white under kimono off the bed & began to dress her in it , sensuously sliding the featherweight silk up her arms , his hands only separated by a mere layer of fabric; The feeling of the soft silk sliding against her newly polished skin was a revelation & it showed in her face as he drew it closed & tied it off, his hand sliding around her hip in an appreciative caress; the black silk brocade kimono was drawn on just as slowly; it pleased Tidus to see how she felt written on her face, unconsciously begging more; almost as tenderly as a dominant binds his submissive in preparation for the pleasure of the submissive, Tidus wrapped the pure white obi with its geometric pattern of sparkling white beads tightly about her waist, showing off not the just its narrowness, but the perfection of the curve of her lush hips & sweet swell of breasts encased in finest silk. As he knelt before her pulling the silk Obi tight enough to make her gasp, the thought of Tidus erotically burying his blonde head between her legs as the image in mirror playfully suggested nearly overwhelmed her & she turned her eyes away before the image became addiction. Since peonies were out of season, a lavender-blue lotus blossom was placed in the knot of hair to ornament it, & his fan of black eagle feathers was slipped into place beside the tanto. She stepped into a pair of black sandals to complete her first full dress kimono.
Tidus drew her to the mirrored wall & had her look; it reflected an image of an aristocratic lord with a lady who would excite the most jaded of palates. For a moment she felt like she belonged in this world, & belonged by Tidus' side. She shyly smiled & shot a speaking look of pure happiness at his eyes in the reflection. The heart of Tidus suddenly held a gleam of happiness, which bubbled up & reached his eyes; which prompted him to say: "We do look the part, don't we? I think you'll hold up for an evening. Now. Let's see if I can keep my tanto sheathed tonight, Washiita."
The feast was in the dining hall tonight & despite its size, it felt intimate, warm with rich woods; some were inlaid with each other & polished to dark gleam, the grain even; insets in the dark beams showed extraordinary burled golden brown wood, intricately patterned as the heavy brocades in the pillows that everyone sat on. Lanterns with painted scenes of revelry were hung by the dozens, illuminating the maester's head table, & the space before it, kept cleared for the entertainment by four servants. Further out, the light became much softer, as small lanterns flickered on smaller tables with more intimate seating. Music was playing, more a soft breath of sound to color the air, vs. an orchestral performance; acrobats & circus performers preceded the feast, dressed as grasshoppers, dragonflies & butterflies, jumping & diving with great cracks & snaps of silk gauze wings. When they reached the maester's table, upon signal, ribbons were pulled by certain servants positioned about the room, & drifts of cut paper confetti, some gilt, some treated with phosphorescent paint, fluttered down, showering the delighted guests with a delicate imitation of glowing pyreflies descending in the evening. Servants appeared in plenty & brought by tray after tray of extraordinary creations from the kitchens; some were symphonies of contrasting tastes & all were carefully arranged like mandalas on the black platters.- pink, black & fresh green brought grilled meat sliced paper thin & arranged to look like flower petals on curry leaf; a tray of green could be a variety of green fruits: grapes, apples, kiwi, sweet melons, freshly cut & arranged in clever dragon's scales for luck; but unlike last night, wine & liquor was served in plenty from start to finish.
She tried to serve him at first, but he shook his mane, & playfully refused, stating this was her night of lessons, and the lesson was to learn to accept pleasure. Tidus had an immense amount of fun, feeding her bites of things she never knew existed on the planet, even letting her taste some of the fiery liquors from the cold north. He drank nothing but water himself the rest of the evening, after teaching her how to do the drinking game over three thimbles of black Aki.
Later in the evening, Tidus leaned back against the pillows, Tarja's head on his arm as they idly watched the dragonflies in a darting acrobatic dance; then watched the revelers satiate themselves; with some, greed was a matter well practiced & tonight was a special indulgence. A few were carried out in chairs, having drunk themselves to the state of passing out, or eaten so much they had fallen asleep. Of course, Tidus had some wicked commentary, telling stories, translating the signals of seduction & laughing at Tarja's attempts, which usually ended up as ridiculous stories of assignations with improbable lovers or spouses. A group of men two tables distant were quite on the lookout for party-mates afterwards; they were a boisterous, good natured lot, despite being aristocratic spoiled creatures, & meant no harm. A tall young man with dark hair that was neatly tied in a tasseled silk tail kept craning his head over his shorter companions every few minutes to catch Tarja's eye, fascinated by the stranger in a sleek silk gown, a toothsome bare leg glimpsed from the right hand slit in her kimono & a dainty waist that appeared no bigger than a hand span due to optical illusion of a white Obi tied with breathtaking tightness over the black of the robe. Tidus began to tease her, asking if she was flirting when his eyes turned away & in mock jealousy, bemoaned his blonde head compared to the black-purple tassel.
"Go ahead, do it. See if you can make him spill his wine goblet." He wickedly whispered. He pushed his goblet in her hands & she rose, languorously, like the 'twining of the creeper', as he had taught her earlier. Eyes turned in admiration as conversation grew louder to cover the obvious attraction to the vision of beauty walking past them to fill her lord's cup; as she glided by, she downcast her eyes demurely, long black lashes sweeping a creamy brown cheek now stained with the faintest rose. As she returned, the little knot of young bloods had turned to watch her as one, still chattering; then she flashed her extraordinary mercury blue grey irids through a corner of the enchantingly set eyes, a mere hint of a dimple in her cheek. A halt in the chatter occurred; & true to Tidus' challenge, the tall tassel-head on the left poured the contents of his goblet on the floor as if he had nothing else in the world to pay attention to, except that exquisitely fine figure receding, bearing a filled jade cup back to Tidus. Tidus lazily caught his eye, leaned back & wickedly twitched an eyebrow with a hint of a smile & accepted his cup from his delicious protégé. She sat with the same grace by him & smiled in delight at having accomplished a walk without tripping on the train of the kimono. Even more wickedly, knowing the young blood's eyes were glued to Tarja's face, Tidus picked up his silver chopsticks, chose a piece of fruit carved like a flower bud & fed it to her adoringly, whispering: " Success! It was a waterfall!" The dark eyes of the young men greedily drank in the supremely erotic moment of Tarja's delicate pink mouth accepting a morsel from a man's hand; each groaned inside, wishing it were their hand, doing the spoiling of the beauty.
The evening had been one exercise after the other in experiencing sensuality, from the smallest hints of pleasure at lovely surroundings, to complete pleasure of the five senses; all that remained was the pleasure of the soul. And he was going to do that for her tonight, later, if she would let him. Tarja was almost drunk with it all, & simply awed, clung to her mentor, eagerly responding to each of the many lessons. As the hour grew late, the feasters became more & more obvious in their pleasures; some outright acts of sex were taking place in the back of the room, where the table lanterns flickered dimly out of the circle of the hanging lanterns near the host's dais. There was a breathless panting excitement in the air, as courtesans & geishas made their assignations with the male guests they had discreetly flirted with earlier in the day. The maester had gently removed himself some thirty minutes earlier with the guests at his table to further pursue private talk & pleasure of a more refined sort. Tarja became anxious & widened her eyes as Tidus firmly refused to leave, flatly stating: "You need to see this." He appeared to idly drink, but the goblet was filled with water, not wine, his eyes wary, waiting for the inevitable next event.
It came in the form of another young blood; drunk on wine infused with lotus root, he fell upon Tarja & began a very obvious invitation to join her & his fellows in their bathhouse, a generous bribe clinking in a brocade bag. He remembered his manners a bit late & turned to Tidus & asked if he could spare the lotus blossom for the evening & hinted at a good time to be had by another courtesan, Mikko, whom was the toast of the Inn of the 4 Awnings last summer. Tidus appeared bored, saying: "It is for the Lady to say, not I. I'm just the consort. " The not-so charming blood reached forward & gently began to tickle Tarja under her chin & entice her to rise. She sat still; emboldened, he gently let his fingers drift down, intending to capture handful of breast, but suddenly whitened under his deep bronze of his rather handsome high cheeked face.
Tarja's tanto hovered above her breast, blade up; it was either remove the hand, or have fingers sliced off. "No, I thank the lord; but No." was gently breathed in the young blood's ear. Tidus leaned forward &placed a hand on the young man's; it appeared to be friendly, but Tidus' grip was iron hard; Tidus pleasantly said: "Forgive the bluntness of the lady's reply, but No is…No. Enjoy Mikko. She is the best. Tell her Tidus Tanaka noh-Ishii remembers her sweet voice, please?" Inwardly tickled , & now in an outright bastard mood, Tidus gently placed a hand under Tarja's chin & ever so gently inspected her for damage as the shaken man bowed his escape, this time with real respect, & not just at the imperial name dropped in his ear. Leaning further in, Tidus let his mouth graze where the other intrusive hand had touched, giving the appearance of an adoring caress to his favorite jewel of Yevon.
"How like you my gift now, lady?" he laughed against her throat, & leaned back. "Do you understand the lesson? Good. See the effect you can have on men? We will discuss it in the bath. Come, let us go, before a horde of them lose their fingers."
The bath was again a delightful haven from the world of drunken O-Bon feasters and they both sighed in contentment & occasionally smiled at each other as they overheard snatches of revelry from by passers on the pathway; Tarja felt less nervous around Tidus & soon was sitting next to him in the deepest part of the little pool, letting the heat burn into their bones as they cheerfully gossiped about the guests at the party. She had even been unabashedly self-forgotten as she undressed for the bath, sighing almost regretfully at the fact she was no longer gowned so extravagantly: the outer kimono & Obi had been easy to wear once she learned to handle the weight of the fabric when moving. She thanked him prettily, at which Tidus laughed & teased her with: "Oh? If you were so regretful of being undressed, why did you drop that pretty robe so fast? Is that all you want from me? Just a… bath?" the last line delivered with her exact inflection of last night, of course.
"No…" Tarja stopped, horrified at herself, flustered; she had intended it as a jab of humor back at him, imitating his reply from last night, but it suddenly sank in that he was talking about real intimacy last night.
"Good. I was hoping I'd you'd prefer me over that drunken idiot tickling your chin…Tarja? What is wrong?"
"It's just that I never thought that…ahh...I am the alien here…I'm not sure if…if…we're…um…compatible."
"I think that's not the issue. What is it, truly?"
"I…I've been through – it's so long since…maybe…maybe…I…can't feel anymore."
"I can make you feel very good, If you'd let me."
He said the last statement with such an absolute sense of confidence, it made her blink. Let him! Her heart insisted. Instead of an answer, she simply turned to him wordlessly & slipped a leg over to sit on his lap facing him. Her hands held onto his arms, which she realized were much better muscled than she originally thought; she had only seen him shirtless once before in the bath house.
Tidus deliberately held still when she climbed in his lap, letting her explore the feel of his body; Ohhh..she IS a nice armful, I should have just claimed her for myself that day on the cliff side. Now…I wonder how long it's been before she's had any sexual release? At least from when she arrived here, I know that for certain…so..ok…I can do this. Just take your time. He took her wrist, laid his mouth there in a courtly kiss, sensuously touching it with his tongue in a light flit, then placing his fingers on the pulse point & the 7^th meridian of the heart, caressingly placed his other hand on her right hip, thumb on the 28^th point meridian of the Dai Mai, and pressed down as he leaned in to kiss her on the mouth.
"What the hell was THAT!? " She gasped, breaking away from his lips as a surprising, traveling, current of something delicately ran through her that quickly disappeared, leaving a spreading warmth in its place.
"Did it hurt?" Tidus asked, continuing to kiss down the side of her neck & lightly nip a bare shoulder; she shook her head no, & he continued: "Then relax & enjoy me- remember? Everything I do is for your pleasure tonight. " …And your healing…and your taming…your loyalty….your love…he whispered to himself as he slowly drifted in the water with her, a devoted master teaching his student in the sutra of learning to accept pleasure.
Tidus & Tarja did share the bed that night, & as dawn broke, she bolted from the warm nest, running back to the guards quarters, thinking she would receive holy hell if she didn't attend to her trainee duties to the guards. Of course, she was teased for showing up in a yukata & money changed hands with gratifying grins behind her back, but most everyone was glad she had found a kindred soul in Tidus. A few were even relieved that they didn't have be in his place & his manly reputation took several steps up the ladder in their minds.
Tidus had awoken to her shy wild kiss on his shoulder as she bolted from the luxurious silk bed sheets. He had greatly enjoyed his lessons last night & rolled into the warm spot her body had left, inhaling the faint scent of the crushed lotus blossom from her hair, his very pleased state of mind picking through the highlights of seeing her open & bloom. She had been without for longer than he guessed & mentally traumatized on several levels. It had been real work to bring her body into a more relaxed state. He had tenderly worked the nerves & muscles holding the memory of past hurts as best he could until he felt the meridians of her body restored & was pleased with the result. But beneath it all, he was happy to have been with her & hoped for more.
He did the morning salutation with guard, pleasantly surprised at the increased cordiality the guards exhibited, especially by the head archer, who apparently had banked heavily on Tidus; his cousin had been on the sortie at mount Gazgaret & told him of that it was Tidus that had charmed Tarja off the cliff; Ainjin had kept that bit of information to himself, bet a month's pay & it paid off handsomely.
Tidus dawdled for a few minutes, hoping to see his little eagle, but there was no sight of her. Disappointed, he returned to his guest house. Ainjin grinned & went to find Tarja, ready to tease her back into Tidus' arms.
He returned to the bedroom to dress himself after a shower & caught his breath with a joyful bound of his heart when the shoji slid open, as his mood, which under his playful, aristocratically jaded surface was actually one more tender: he had found himself wishing to be reassured he had brought her pleasure, that she was happy with him.
She had heard that he had waited for her after salutations, while she was helping to set out the guard's clean uniforms for the day, and as soon as she was done, she ran to the little guest house. Her whole being was much more relaxed, her eyes were no longer wary & dilated as a wild bird's. She kissed him lightly, ran a hand through his shagged head & began to dress him in his clean clothes, bringing a neatly pressed hakama, then the short white under-gi & light steel grey-blue silk over-gi, carefully wrapping Obi & bringing his own tanto to slip in.
When pouring tea, at the first meal of the day under the great veranda, she tended him carefully, then shyly spoke his name when no one else appeared to be listening: "Tidus? Thank you – for everything yesterday; you are a very patient man; and…I really liked, no, I enjoyed last night. You…were…a wonderful, awesome lover last night. I see I had something to learn, too. But I do have a question: What…what about your pleasure? "
Eyes flat, he replied with the bare minimum: "What about it?"
Puzzled, Tarja took in his guarded appearance & shrugged, thinking her Spirean wasn't right. Next, she simply, bluntly asked: "How can I please you? I would love to please you, Tidus. I want to give you what you gave me. You do understand me, right?"
Shocked, he stared at her for a full 15 seconds, mouth hanging open; he shut it, opened it to speak & shut it again, a blush staining his cheeks until he looked down, away from those beautiful blue grey eyes filled with something more, far more, kind than the arrogant lust he had been forced to satiate for years of his young life.
He looked up again through his lashes to see if he was mistaken, but no – she still held her gaze warmly, steadily. His eyes softened, & Tarja was stunned by the momentary boyish look of tenderness in his eyes, shining with unshed tears. He shook himself & covering his near emotional breakdown, he reached for his tanto, idly examining it until he could speak without choking. The voice came out husky, any trace of his haughty patrician manner gone: "Forgive me. I don't recall anyone asking me that question before." ME! She wants to please ME!!!!Oh thank you, thank you, thank you! I always hoped there'd be one, just one, on this planet – Hey! wait a minute! She's not from here! Oh Yevon, how funny is that! Hysterical laughter threatened to burst out of his mouth; he realized his god, his Yevon, had listened to him all along - he had granted his prayer screamed out to the stars on a lonely night - and, somewhere, the god must be laughing.
"Tidus? …Tidus? – are you unwell? Look at me, please! People are beginning to notice! Tidus!?"
He looked up, & broke out into an awesomely blinding smile, sweet as a beam of sunlight slicing through a storm cloud & then took her hand, gently kissing it, careless of what anyone thought before finally speaking: "Mistress Tarja-san, again forgive me! I think I just had a revelation from Yevon now!"
"Oh? And what did he say?" She asked, now suspicious.
"Laugh, because I surely am, from my bright blue heaven!"
The day was well spent, doing nothing useful, preoccupied with the newfound feelings in each other, aimlessly walking through the estate’s gardens, paths, & lawns to a peaceful view of the spring, where they idled the golden afternoon with his affectionate sutras, resting in a little jewel of a pavilion, thoughtfully stocked by the peerless major domo with a soft futon, cotton pillows, & other comforts he deemed necessary to an aristocrat. They reluctantly turned back to the compound at the sound of the bells announcing the hour before sunset.
The evening entertainment was a bit more subdued than last night's indulgent feast, but splendid nonetheless. Maester Seymour recreated a children's story, the Teapot Badger, into a play; the evening was filled with many whimsical, magical things; circus performers balancing themselves on narrow poles, pretty girls contorting themselves into impossible poses, trained animals costumed & even bearing food & drink to the guests. It was meant to be a tender, charming evening, bringing everyone back to the comforts of childhood where magic still existed in one's eyes - and it succeeded admirably. The evening ended in a fatherly blessing by Seymour, with his hope that he would see them again at the next O-Bon. Once back at the little guest house, Tarja charmingly turned to Tidus & asked him : "How can I please you tonight, my lord & master?"
"Oh? Since when am I your lord & master? Hmm…I haven't even been asked yet & she throws herself at my feet!"
"What? I can hardly believe that's a new experience for you, after seeing those bath house girls swoon at your dazzling eyes & even more dazzling back view as you strutted away yesterday! "
"Bath house girls swoon over everyone!" But I am glad you are dazzled, because I don't want you to even LOOK at another man….
"Since when are you so modest about that gorgeous body? I bet you have the skills to be a consort to the entire empire, you sly creature! Maybe I should take another lover, O faithless one!"
A dark flare of anger ignited in his mind & something snapped at the last sentence – the sequence of words reverberated in his ears – he hazed out in his mind, a red mist blotting everything out except the need to obey the orders that were set there by a soft sinister voice. He attacked her, quick as a viper; Tarja simply reacted, diving between his legs to escape the kick aimed at her head; her eyes grew wide when he unsheathed his tanto & empty eyed, began to hunt her through the guest house; he threw it & missed, but it was a distraction; he was on her while she followed the flight of the knife burying itself in a dark beam by her head.
He delivered a back handed slap to her face & began an unrestrained assault on her, punching & kicking with deadly accuracy. She broke free when he missed the 1^st kick, twisting her wrist uragi style, then backed off, leapt at him & wrapped her legs around his waist, causing them to fall on the bed; her arms became a steel band around his chest to block his flailing arms; she hung on, stunned for a moment at the landing; it hurt, but she grit her teeth & told herself: Think, woman! THINK! Before he kills you! Desperate, she began to talk while he struggled against her bindings of flesh & bone: "Yes, darling, yes- I am yours, I'll do anything for you, anything, you are in control, you have total control, Tidus; you have the total power of life or death over me, darling Tidus…" She kept talking, reassuring him he was the one in control, pitching her voice to keep any fear or pain from creeping in; she knew what was happening was not normal; he had been brainwashed to kill somehow, shrewdly judging someone other than she was the real target – she'd just said a phrase that was common in someone's vocabulary, it was a trigger implanted in his mind. She'd only read about it back on Earth, there had never been any live case studies to observe, they were all dead or in thriller novels.
Her voice eventually bled into his ears through the rush of blood as he mindlessly continued, almost convulsing; it seemed like he was seeing what was happening, but it was far away; he saw streaks of tears on Tarja's face, the red imprint of his hand on her cheek; he screamed against the prison of his brainwashed mind & began to fight with every fiber of his being , reminding himself this was Tarja, she was telling him he was in control, he was going to come back to her, he would never hurt her….after a few minutes more, he looked dazed, the madness leaving his eyes as he stared at his little eagle, his Tarja, now in his face, no longer a distant rag doll to rend & maim into bits. For a long moment they stared at each other; then he laid his head down on her shoulder, exhausted & began to tremble; the trembling turned into shaking sobs; Tarja simply held him until he calmed, then quietly said: "Welcome back. Nothing like taking a trip without leaving the farm, eh?" Tidus gave a short bark & tears trickled on her shoulder as his muffled voice said: "I hurt you. What the hell happened to me? I hurt you –Oh Yevon, how could I ever erase the scar of that?"
"It wasn't you, Tidus. It was someone else. You were trained to do this, and not to me. I just hit the trigger too soon, so to speak. And…you can erase any scar, I think. You did it last night for me, didn't you?"
He slowly rolled off her & lay there, thinking: I am a weapon without even knowing it. How sick is that, to train me to kill another! How? When? Ah….I have it…the herbs! Yuna! I have got to tell Maester Seymour about this. I need my father. But tomorrow. I have to undo some damage here.
He knelt on the bed & very gently took her hands and began to talk; He gave her the option to get the maester, as it was a grave offense in his own mind to have a hand on her. She refused, so he tried to tell her about the drugs he had been dosed with by Yuna, how he had stopped drinking; he related how Yuna had tried to push him to drink again & the absolute terrified look in her eyes when he refused; he tried to describe how he just seemed to snap, and everything seemed unreal, at a distance; the fight he went through to get back to reality & how terrible he felt once he saw the pain he had caused. His quiet voice dropped in shame as he formally apologized for striking a woman. He offered to heal her, if she could trust him to do so, even if it meant she'd never see him again.
Tarja's face hurt, but she knew it would clear by morning & she was sore in some tender places; she was more mentally traumatized than anything else & craved for a tender touch, loving & full of reassurance. Shakily, she agreed to let Tidus try, dryly commenting: "That was some wild ride, eh?"
A touch shaky himself, he nodded, then carefully picked her up as if she didn't weigh anything at all & carried her into the bath. He simply held her in the hot water until her head lolled back on his shoulder, and then began to gently trace her body's meridians with his honey gold fingers & apply pressure to the key points his old master had drilled in his memory. After he had done all he could there, he carried her back to bed, combed her hair out, softly reciting the calming sutra & the sutra of forgiveness in the heart until both of them were feeling balanced again; he coaxed her into the bed & continued to work on restoring her confidence with reiki, which was more of a series of soft stroking movements to relax & bring harmony back into a hurt or sick body than a bath house massage. His touch soon bordered on a caress, as his hands travelled over the sensual curves & dips of Tarja's body. Drifting in & out of a light sleep, she leaned into his caresses, and before he knew it, he was lying by her as she pressed into him, throwing a leg over him as he unabashedly continued. Finally, he had no words left to ask her & she needed none to answer him.
The moon's silver light crossed the room in the night to mark the hours, but it seemed as if time had stopped & rewound itself for two lovers, now exchanging two hearts in perfect empathy, secretly hidden in a code of touch only known to themselves.
Chapter Six
"Anger may in time change to gladness; vexation may be succeeded by content. But a kingdom that has once been destroyed can never come again into being; nor can the dead ever be brought back to life."[vii]
Bliss seldom ruled Tidus' life, but this morning it did. He awoke cleansed, whole & feeling hopeful. The nightmare had a name, he wasn’t slowly going insane, & he knew the maester would help him find a way out of the mental training that had been forced upon him. If there was a way into his mind, then there was a way out.
There was now a way out of the life had been forced into, or at least a safe haven. For years he had been breathing the brimstone of hell, & finally he had a breath of sweet, cool air, fresh as the snow scented breeze hurtling off the heights of Mount Gazgaret. Tarja had done the impossible in his world; she had let him take the lead in intimacy, simply accepted what he had to give with no questions, no orders, no demands, except one: Tell me what you want me to do for you.
He cared not at the half hidden grins of the guard when he walked her to the guard's quarters in the dawn light, holding Tarja's hand to steady her as she jumped over the curb of the dojo ring. They smiled shyly at each other, bowed & went to their separate tasks as if the guards weren't there at all. After she left, the guards whistled & clapped, & a rough, but happy voice called out: "When's the wedding night?" in the traditional tease of lovers & prospective grooms. The morning salutation was done with much vigor & again, Tidus dawdled until his little eagle came flying out of the guard house to him. Possessively, he took her hand like a lady of the court, & slowly walked down the path, summer sunlight warming the cool stones under their feet.
Tidus began to plan how to get out of his consort's contract & thought to first approach his father; he decided to see if Seymour could be go-between & hoped he would help him plead his case. After all, it wasn't like he & Yuna were married. It was a pleasure contract. On cue, a servant walked up to Tidus & Tarja during the first meal of the day & asked him go to the front hall office. Expecting Seymour, his face fell when he recognized the face of his major domo's son with a frightened face. He was given the news that Yuna was on her way back, & the major domo had intercepted her in Bevelle, & felt confident he could keep her there until the midday meal; he advised to be there when she returned, so as not to expose his visit to the maester's. They both were intimate with Yuna's jealous rages.
As they hurriedly packed his clothes in their traveling boxes, Tarja was puzzled by his fear of Yuna & asked: "Why do you jump to her least command? Is a consort like being married? I thought it was for pleasure only or something like that?" She took his frown lightly, & continued: "Look, it really it doesn't bother me that you're stuck in a contract for a while. Just let me know if you really plan to get free of it & I'll see you when I can see you, here at the maester's. Just send something as a message that all is well? And kiss me again before you go?"
Tidus felt nothing but impending doom; the early return was fateful & he knew something was wrong. Deep in his heart, he knew his festival was over, &he had had his moment of bliss; a girl that wanted to please him, and had done so, generously offering a piece of heart & soul that he had prayed to Yevon for; now autumn was coming, the god of summer must be sacrificed in holy harvest; it was the start of the end of the road for him. Suddenly angry at the end of all things good in his life & filled with foreboding that he may not live to see another O-Bon, he lashed out at Tarja:
"Tarja, O-Bon is over. I won't be coming back. It's too dangerous; there is no way will I let anyone suffer over me. Don't fall in love with me, I am just a…summer memory. You'll forget me. I belong to another world. Enjoy the jewel of memory as I will. But for Yevon's sake, stay away."
"You think I would let that woman scare me off? And why can't we be friends, at least? Until your contract expires, or you get out? It can be an honorable path! We don't have to be lovers. I have ex-boyfriends on earth who were friends. It's not that bad."
"You don't get it, do you? How many real women do you see in a day here on the estate? One, maybe two ladies that visit, right? All the rest are SERVANTS, Tarja- the middle & lower classes – the only woman of rank to live here was Seymour's mother – & let me tell you, she was a formidable power in her day! She was a personal weapon of my father's, skilled in poison, the garrote & naginata! She was killed the same time my mother died."
"This is what I've been trying to warn you of, you idiot of an Earth woman! You are being taught to become a Spirean woman of rank! An assassin, a spy, a master manipulator of the lives you touch! "
"The roles of men & women here are different, Tarja what did you think this was, some utopia or your pretty blue Earth?– here, we men do the fighting, carry the burden of ruling & justice, the heavy work, as it were; but it is the women who truly rule us; the decisions of the household, the laws, the politics; even the emperor bows to the empress – it is she who directs the matters of state, even its intrigues. Bloodlines are carried through women, not men! A man can stud himself out as much as he wants, but it is a woman's traits that are prized, sought after, in the marriage arena. So, we men do all we can to make ourselves pleasing; I've been in warrior training since I was old enough to remember, but I was given to the temple for training at age 13 in the sutras!"
"So…so you are trained to give…pleasure? Like a courtesan? "
Tidus curled his lip in a fleeting second of disgust & ground out: 'Oh, yes…I've been trained to the best, the highest of high standards! …I give every pleasure, many times and at once!"
"…Sounds like you haven't had much fun in your life, Tidus."
"No. I've never been allowed to please myself; I've…obeyed to the letter. Except last night. I broke all the rules, written & unwritten, by how I behaved with you last night."
Tarja felt her throat tighten as a feeling of pity welled up within her; with a sickening feeling, she realized how the loss of control, his lack of a right to choose his own life was shredding him inside. The knowledge of woman as the dominant role had been right in front of her face, & she had blinded herself to it, viewed this medieval barbaric –samurai world through rose-tinted Earth glasses because that's the way she wanted it.
She understood the feeling of utter helplessness he had & his blind obedience to his abusers. She remembered her study days in the mental health center near the college, & readily recognized the start of what was called the Stockholm syndrome; he was beginning to think he deserved it. She tested his state of mind cautiously with a counselor's question: "What would you do, if you were…free? Free to do exactly what you please?"
"Do you want to please me? Really want to please me?" Taking a deep breath, he spilled it: "Then let me go. Let me find me a way out of this life, or have mercy & just kill me."
"Why? Why is it so important to leave? It doesn't look like you're suffering here. You have wealth, you are ruling class, you have all your limbs & you're not just a fine man, you're a talented man, Tidus. Does it matter who leads?"
Enraged, venomous, his youthful voice a hissing cold tone rapidly warming, then escalating into a raw scream of absolute frustration & despair, he sliced the air between them into bits with this: " I hate it. I hate the life I live; I am a bastard of the imperial son of heaven; I hate him because he agreed to this…this Yevon-cursed life for me! He bows & scrapes to that vengeful spider of a woman, the throne behind the throne, the glorious empress Yu-Shinta, the moon of the kingdom! Bah! More like the chamber pot of puke behind it all! It was she who poisoned my father's ear against me, he sent me away from him! I never had his protection, like the others! I am no better than a common courtesan, playing consort to a horde of useless, vile, arrogant harpies! I am never going to be a man, a real man, because SHE has decided it must be so! She hates me because my father gave my mother his heart, not her, the three faced monster! She wishes she could burn the hair on my head like she had my mother poisoned & burned! And I wear it to remind her I never forget! I was born to lead men, not play the pretty boy whore in this world & she has blocked my every attempt to be anything but being THIS! And…and it's killing me! I want my life! My TRUE life, not this...this…prison!"
Tarja eyed him calmly during his hysterical sobbing tirade, then surprisingly said: "Ok. Why not?"
He swiveled his head around & looked at her like she was mad.
"Why not take your life back. DO you need permission? Just take it. And be damned to her."
"I'll die. She'll kill me. She always finds a way."
"You're wrong. If you really think that, she's won. You're already dead, inside." Then passionately: "Wake up Tidus, WAKE UP! What are you waiting for, permission to live the life you want? Did she? Take it! SEIZE your life!"
He was silent, staring at her with burning eyes, then slowly turned away, arms crossed. What she said was madness – if he rebelled, he'd be strung up for life as an example of how not to cross the shadow of power behind the throne. He ground out: "Even if I did, how long would I live? A day? What friends do I have? I have no one to watch my back that can match her caliber, you fool!"
"I can. I'll protect you."
"Oh. Right. Are you the empress of California? Did you bring an army of soldiers & a magic weapon from Earth with you?"
"I'm not entirely without resources & talent, even if I'm stuck on this backwater of a planet, sir." Stung by his harsh sarcasm, she said it in a dangerous tone he'd never heard in her voice before, cool & even, supremely, almost arrogantly confident; a tone that sounded horribly familiar & it stopped Tidus dead in his tracks for a moment.
He slowly turned & suddenly, he saw her as the weapon the maester & his father had glimpsed; his heart pounded & he dizzied at the inner revelation that she was just as dangerous , if not more so, than the old snake behind the throne. She was an unknown species, an alien! – Who knew what potential she truly had? For all he knew, she could be another Yu-Shinta back on Earth! And he wanted none of it! He was tired of it all & he wanted to just leave it all behind, the court, the intrigues, everything & just fade away in the far islands of Besaid or the deserts of Zanarkand, disappearing like sand in the wind. He felt an abyss open before him & he decided. She was a woman, like all the others, and not to be trusted. Coldly, he spoke:
"You can't. You don't know these people. You're human, not Spirean. And I don't want protection. I am through with you. You need to leave, now. Forget me. Go back to Earth, or go to court & turn into another assassin for all I care. I am sick of it all. I'm leaving. Now."
It was as if Tidus had hacked her head off in a single katana stroke, leaving the head to topple off, still seeing & hearing; but it was Tarja's heart that had taken the blow. She bled inside & went white, shutting her eyes to his flat death mask, with empty eyes.
But I love you.
The shoji slid shut.
I'd die for you.
Silence.
Chapter Seven
"In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity"[viii]
Heartsick for weeks after Tidus' departure, Tarja threw self into practice & long walks. Some days she was able to work herself into exhaustion & fall asleep; time after time she drearily wondered if she'd ever get over him. She receded, felt more & more alien to Spirea as the days passed by & longed for home. The guards kept her spirits up with many rough kindnesses, from a clumsy pat with a cup of wine to a group of them offering to just assassinate Tidus, Ainjin licking his feathered flights in anticipation of using his great bow of boxwood. However, the nights grew long with Tidus' absence from the estate.
Lord Seymour began to miss the young lord from the daily life at his estate, but said nothing, hoping Tidus' mood would break after visiting the capital, doing his family duty. Seymour sent reports, & received a series that brought satisfaction to his clear blue eyes, until one packet with the imperial seal arrived. With dismay, he read his closest friend's letter, praising the changes he had seen in his bastard blood for the better, yet noted the growing fear for his safety in between the lines, as he read through the clever observations of Tidus' character changes. The plan they had hatched between them some 12 years ago had run its course; now, it was time to develop new strategies, or let go of a precious piece of his best friend's secret pride & joy to find his own fate.
The days grew shorter, and they all found themselves kicking through piles of golden leaves that reminded them of golden summer afternoons, and a golden head to one mind. One of the older bathhouse girls took pity on Tarja, and walking with her one day in the cool autumn afternoon, took her to her favorite shrine of Yevon & began to teach Tarja the way of "The Many Gates", to empty herself of hurt & learn the path of acceptance. It slowly helped, and some days she was able to mediate calmly & feel a little peace. It helped her to relive & replay events, sorting them out in her mind, see she was not to blame; she was just a vessel to do what the universe willed. But it never stopped the longing ache to be in his arms, his washiita, his pet…his lover.
One night she wept silently, simply longing to be held by his arms. The next day, still longing for the very sight of Tidus, she decided to try & glimpse him at the Inn Of The 4 Awnings; the distance between them had gone on far too long & she felt she must try one last time. If he felt the same, then she would accept, maybe spend the rest of her life accepting, but she would lay it down & walk away.
She got a lift into town with a lord who had sent his son to be trained with the guard this winter & kept to the edges of the marketplace & away from the aristocrat's compounds. She saw Lady Yuna's carriage roll down the street by the inn & foolishly started to walk after it. After fifteen minutes' walk, she saw the carriage peeping out from the portico of a non-descript house on an even more non-descript street.
Curious, Tarja crept in the gate, & walked around the dwelling; she was puzzled why Lady Yuna would live here, as the area was certainly not in the upper circle of Bevelle's finest neighborhoods; it seemed deserted, but soon three figures left by the side portico, softly talking; she flattened herself against the wall of the house & slid forward to catch any conversation.
"-next to the gate; we will send more herbs; do not forget to increase the dose twofold the week before the festival. Send word through the usual channel if you do not see the changes in his body, we will advise you or send different herbs; sometimes the sleeping dragon does not work well on men his age – too much Yang in them, eh?"
A cackle of laughter swept through them like dry leaves, hyenas, or chittering ghosts from a summer O-Bon fire. A younger voice spoke, silky & refined: "I will obey – I look forward to the new moon festival! What pleasures & power we will have!"
"Aye! Go, with our blessing. You have been the most obedient of the obedient, Lady."
"Would you like to ride in my carriage back to the main road today?"
The two older women, hatted & cloaked, hesitated, then bowed agreement –it was a cold day, & they were suitably anonymous in their garb. Lady Yuna whistled with her little silver whistle on her wrist & two coachmen came from the kitchen entrance on the other side; Tarja threw herself on the ground & burrowed behind an evergreen bush by the door, praying she would not be seen. Luckily, they had been drinking, & had hats on against the cold as well. She darted into the kitchen, tanto in hand.
The kitchen was deserted, not even a fire had been lit to keep the coachmen warmed – no wonder they were drinking, Tarja thought. It was a large room, suitable for preparing feasts; books & scrolls of recipes had their own niche against the far wall, & several enormous platters lined the upper shelves. A door was partially ajar, which threw a beam of dusty light on its contents, which were practically none; the walls, floor & ceiling were lined with ceramic tiles & held just a scarred wooden table & rows of hooks lined the far wall, like a cold larder. A faint smell of decay & flat metallic minerals gave her pause; she couldn't quite identify the scent, so familiar. She wandered back to the recipe niche, & began to idly pull out scrolls to see what fine foods had been prepared here in the past. Most were fairly ordinary; her eye fell on one book, slightly ajar from the rest of its companions neatly lined up with dusty heads. She pulled it out, opened it, & was surprised to see another, smaller, book fall from its covers.
It was a simple thing, no ornate gilded stamping adorned its black covers; it made of a leather that was unusually soft & fine; nor was it titled on the spine. She opened it & began to page through; her heart leapt as she saw the symbol of the Shih Tan on a page – she had found a book of the secret society of the Shih Tan[ix]!! Excited she riffled the pages, then stopped randomly as a title page flashed by. She read the title, then whitened & trembled as she read the following paragraph: The Whole Man Feast[x]: - This is a daunting task & should only be carried out by the chefs with the greatest expertise, the most subtle hand with the spice box & the most creative minds; it requires 2 days of preparation, as each organ will be treated as its own dish & carefully integrated back into the cavity & then the carcass with its multitude of dishes will be treated as a whole…
Disgusted, she decided to put it down; as she went to close the book, her fingers felt a discrepancy in the tight stack of the pages; it felt like heavier paper, or a bookmark. Curious, she opened the book on that spot, & a note in a bold hand had been inserted: I choose this dish for the feast of the new moon festival as mine own; forget not to garnish with a lock of hair to delight mine eye as I feast on mine enemy's pride & joy. Sickened, she read the title of the recipe: Braised Heart of Man. The walls began to close in, & Tarja knew she had to get outside before she fainted. Firmly, she pushed the empty outer book shell back into place & quickly walked out, thrusting the small black evilness deep into her Obi, where it burned against her skin every time she moved.
To clear her head in the cold air, she walked through the garden with freshly turned earth; the smell was off, a sweet cloying odor that echoed familiar in her mind, but could not place. The smell grew stronger as her feet kicked through a small drift of greasy looking ashes. She bent to roll a bit of ash in her fingers, wondering what wood was so oily that it left this residue, then brought it to her nose to sniff. With a gasp, she took in a cloying sweet putrid stench that coated the back of her throat, making her gag; and more importantly, it made her want to run. And run she did, back to the inn, where she promptly threw up in the middle of the day. A courtesan took pity on her; she had seen the lovely creature in black & white at the O-Bon celebration & knew her by sight; she took Tarja in her room, in the warmth & made her rest until she was better.
Bringing tea, the girl looked her over & asked in a sharper tone if she was with child; Bewildered, Tarja shook her head & stated the coupling was brief, only for O-Bon, then asked if she'd seen Tidus or Yuna here today –she had seen the carriage nearby earlier. She wanted to lay the matter to rest & move on with her life. The courtesan's eyes grew big; she crossed her stars as she realized Tidus had really breached his consort contract & made love to this pretty bird, under the nose of the Lady Yuna. Seeing her role as the benevolent rescuer in the love-drama, & feeling a healthy bribe coming her way, she took more care with the pretty girl under her wing: She advised Tarja to have the maester represent her, as that no good consort needed a kick in the- well- never mind you, it was disgraceful for a royal bastard to play with women's hearts & leave them for nasty little bits like Yuna. Then raising her voice in the strident tone she reserved for drunks & porters, she called for a tuktuk to carry her back to Maester Seymour's compound.
The courtesan did receive her bribe, & volunteered her service to the maester, as she had no liking for the society & especially Lady Yuna. She was invited to pay the pretty girl a visit in two weeks & low–voiced instructions followed.
After the courtesan left, well pleased with the opportunity to prink Yuna's nose, Tarja was brought forward to the maester, who gently inquired about her health; reassured she was not with child, as the courtesan hinted, Seymour listened carefully to her narration of events with Tidus; she spoke honestly & simply, kept the storyline factual, thankfully lacking the dramatics so common with Spirean ladies; however he did see her grief & pain lay deeper than most woman's day to day sorrows; for a moment he recalled his mother after at the loss of his father when he was 12. He understood it was a turn of events he had not ranked highly enough in his machinations. However, he knew that the attraction between the two was deeper than either were willing to admit; he knew it would be a matter of time before Tidus would come to reason & realize what Tarja had said was true: all he had to do was take charge of his own life, seize it; he was not without friends who cared & had influence. However, he was surprised when she admitted to Seymour she had offered to become Tidus' weapon & he turned her down. He's as stubbornly prideful as his father. Seymour sighed to himself.
Tarja went on, giving a gratifyingly detailed, succinct report of all she had noted, bringing forward her own theory of what was happening. She confided to Seymour about Tidus' behavior the last night of O-Bon, the triggered response of violence; then the last day she saw him, she recalled his outburst, which gave her the key to the whole mess; she did not know about the role of women on Spirea, everyone assumed Earth was just like Spirea; that fact caused a cascade- all the pieces fell into place after that incident: Yuna was a mere pawn; an evil one, who slyly kept Tidus trapped in a life that was eating away at his soul a little at a time, until he turned to drugs, alcohol, or the society's influence. He had obviously been set up & brainwashed to harm someone, which would prompt his execution by the kingdom's justice. It was a way to set up a scene for a kill without actually laying a hand on someone. She referred to her home & compared the society to gangs, or a strange word: mafia.
She quietly explained to Seymour she felt certain the society that Yuna belonged to was not under Yuna, or even local control, but by from someone at a distance. She pointed out that any influence that kept Tidus trapped was ultimately controlled by the empress somehow; that she suspected that the empress was behind the society, and planned to not to just crush the son of her enemy, a courtesan who had caught the emperor's eye, but eat his heart out - literally. The ashes in the garden were from burnt human remains, not animal, not plant. She recognized the smell from her training back on Earth. The residue on her shoes was proof. Then she silently took the little black rectangle of evilness from her Obi & silently slid it across the table to Seymour.
Emboldened at the maester's grim nod, she went on to press her theory that the society was women, not men. She asked Seymour for advice, & simply stated that she would do anything to see that Tidus would be free, even if it meant never being his. She humbly ended with: "No man deserves to die like that & have his remains desecrated like he was just an animal. After all, maester, I would not hesitate to offer help for the good of another, especially this life. He stopped me from killing myself the first day I was here, he was a lover, & I respect that bond, even if he does not. He deserves to live free. What is your advice?" I love him, oh God I love him; I'd gladly give my life if it means he lives. Please tell me there is a way.
With a sinking certainty, Seymour knew her theory was right. He rapidly formulated plans & weighed outcomes until the perfect balance was struck. He was happy he had judged the little eagle rightly; she was strong where Tidus was not, & had scaled Tidus' self-blindness in a single leap, where others had failed. The seed was planted, now all one had to do was get it to sprout – and how he would enjoy making Tidus' life a hothouse this winter! "I eagerly look forward to finally support my liege in his wishes & I welcome your support, Mistress Tarja!"
"However, this will require bold actions & a role which you may want to think over carefully before accepting. I have no doubts you can ably defend anyone you choose, but can you consider deeper intrigues? Ones that would require the appearance of being something other than what you truly are? "
"Lord Seymour…I think I can. My country has an entire government division devoted to something called 'national security'. I was being educated to work in that division. I can bring some things to the table here. Shall we discuss it over tea?"
Over the next month, the town of Bevelle had been set upon its ear with events on the Maester's estate. First, Seymour publicly appointed Tarja as his personal weapon, awarding her position & rank. He very publicly took Tarja with him everywhere, and amongst his many letters & reports were requests to ensure her race was recognized as compatible with Spirea. He had an immense amount of fun taking her to public events & sweetly ignoring or belittling the responses of the shocked aristocrats of Bevelle. Some older Bevellean aristocrats agreed she would be a good match, remembering her fight in the dojo & the gossip in the guard training academy that she was proving to be an exceptional talent, & admitted that her potential now just being realized.
They whispered she was a good replacement for Seymour's mother, a notable assassin in her day; some speculated she was Seymour’s lover & others gossiped about her shocking habit of wearing men’s outfits; it was even feared she was a queen or at least a person of rank on Earth & was to be feared, as this new planet Earth was a hotbed of power & violence, soon to spill over to Spirea. Conflicting reports arose from sightings of the little eagle at O-Bon being trained as a courtesan, to Seymour secretly negotiating treaties with the empress of Earth; they all hummed & gossiped over a dozen more rumors sipping their cups of tea in their impeccable tea rooms, but there was one thing they all agreed upon, and feared: that the house of Seymour could come to even greater heights of power, if it had a good woman to back Seymour's relationship to the emperor.
Seymour's sense of drama was keen, & many times Tidus sat in the back of the room with Yuna, having his face rubbed in Tarja's rising popularity; Seymour ensured she was visible to the Shih Tan society with a silent message: See, you fools! You grabbed the lesser prize of a royal bastard, when you could have had THIS! It had the desired effect: It drew the attention off Tidus; Yuna became anxious, running to the society, then fretfully making demands of Tidus which further drove a wedge between them. One day he found himself replying back to her publicly: "If you don't like it, then leave. Tear up my contract, for all I care." Yuna was shocked into silence, then slammed the shoji doors in his face. He was stunned for a moment, then it slowly dawned on him his throat wasn't slit ear to ear. He slept in one of the guest rooms that night, a slow smile spreading across his face as he fell asleep.
All in all, Seymour & Tarja did warm to each other very well, and made a good team. He felt young again with her; she in turn, felt she could trust him with anything. They never shared a bed, as Seymour knew Tarja's heart would never accept anyone but Tidus, but it didn't stop him from being so bold as to share a bath with her as his friend & conspirator; it fueled the gossip that they were more than just maester & personal weapon; his bath house quite took her breath away, & they enjoyed themselves with a laugh at the secret they kept, like slightly naughty children. In truth, Seymour confided in her that he missed his mother greatly, & that she reminded him of her; he romantically said with a twinkle in the cool blue eyes, if he could find a woman like his mother, but not one bent on killing him later, he'd be perfectly happy with his life.
Then quite seriously & kindly, he told her: "You know, Tidus has brought himself to love you; his line is stubborn, prideful, intelligent & very highly strung. Do not doubt there will be a time to love for the two of you. He's just being as pig-headed as his father was over Titania. It's too funny. "
He went on that evening to relate the tale of how His liege lord, only a shogun at the time, had taken a trip to Zanarkand & fell insanely in love with the wife of an ambassador, whom was ailing & trying to complete his negotiations honorably with the kingdom before he retired from active service. Titania, Tidus’ mother, had refused him outright at first & refused his offer, citing she was honored by his offer, but loved her honor more. Foolishly, he had tried to insist, thinking all he needed was to be a man, & ended up with an arrow in his arm & pinned to a wall! He told Seymour right then & there he knew it was her or no other. In a total about face, he went straight to the ambassador, praised his wife to the bright blue sky of Yevon, honestly told him of his foolishness, & asked, what do you want from me? The ambassador reputedly said: " As long as you're not bending her over my desk while you are signing the treaty, I don't need a damned thing."
In truth, the ambassador thought better of the young man for coming forward honestly; he knew the number of his days & looked to find his cherished wife security, as Zanarkand court was rife with corruption in his day. In a bold move for a meek man, he negotiated his wife's safety with an exemption to the travel treaties between the two powers, thus enabling him to ensure his lovely Titania would be able to leave Zanarkand when court became too dangerous.
Being desert-bred, Titania was like a wild desert horse & did not come to the young shogun's hand easily, if at all. She & the shogun went nose to nose daily; she was so headstrong she even led him on two chases through the Eid-alal desert on the southern border, until he caught her on the second escape at the famous oasis of Eid. No one knew actually what happened, but for three days he disappeared into the shifting red sands, then came back with her tied to her saddle. Sometime within that space, they realized they looked forward more to the fights than the peace, & she rarely left his side afterwards, bearing him a son after 5 years of being a personal shield to complement his personal weapon, Lady Seymour. The official wife, empress Yu-Shinta was furious, and nearly demanded divorce, then attempted coup of the throne, defeated by a fatal flaw: the court loved their liege more than their lady. However, the son of heaven’s victory came at the cost of losing not only a small platoon of guardsmen, but 2 aristocrats loyal to him & his own personal weapon & shield.
Seymour concluded: "The minute I heard about the rondori in the courtyard, I knew history was going to repeat itself!"
Two days later, Seymour caught Tidus' figure at the Bevelle Temple, kneeling in front of the great statue of Yevon, a lovely work in bronze with rare blue sapphires for eyes. Unbelievably, Tidus , the haughty royal consort, was praying, something he had not done in years; Seymour was touched at the young man's efforts to walk a straighter path & knew the fight was not lost. He sat patiently as Tidus carefully chanted his sutras.
Meditating on his now-miserable life in the in the depths of winter season, Tidus glimpsed himself in the shining metal of Yevon's statue, distorted, but still the face he recognized, if it were not for his eyes, full of shadows:
Which of us did you love, sweet Tarja? Myself? Or this reflection? I know the difference-did you? Yevon, Yevon, oh why did you leave me? I don't care if you hate me, or have forgotten about me. I love you. I'll always love you. You answered my prayer. I will praise you until I die or you answer. But I'm trapped, Yevon. Get me out. Or send me a father to guide me if you're not interested in the job – I know mine isn't. Help me.
Seymour carefully gripped his shoulder & seeing the disconsolate look on Tidus' face, welcomed him like a father who had gone looking for his child all up & down the streets in Bevelle, fearful he was lost or worse, but overjoyed to find him whole & safe. "Come back, Tidus, Come back to my home! We have missed your quick wit & sunny smile. If anything, it will serve to at least stay clear of the inns & pavilions of flowers so abundant here – Why not help fill my seats at my poetry class? You may meet others in your class who are the same bent of mind & it will help you in your efforts to obey Yevon." Cleverly, he said nothing of Tarja yet. He hoped Tidus would open up to him & he could help heal the festering sore in the young man's psyche.
That winter, Tidus was instructed in poetry by Seymour; his little class met in the informal sitting room, where a glimpse of the snow covered gardens could be seen through the sliding shoji screens for inspiration, but it was merely a backdrop to the thoughts in Tidus' mind. The words of his rejection of Tarja’s offer still hung in the air & slowly, he came to the realization he was not the man he had wanted to be; somehow, he let himself go far off the course. He felt stifled by Yuna & her peers; the poetry meetings served to get away from her & sort out his thoughts; somehow, it all mixed together in his mind & his way of working through the issues in his subconscious came out in the haikus & verses, clumsily at first, but later, in smooth cadences.
He began to feel more centered & aware than he had in a long time. Any drugs Yuna had fed him had worked their way out of his system long ago, so his old clarity of thought returned; he went on long hunts as well, with his beloved Sora Hanta, a black dot on blankets of white snow, delicately punctuated with a spill of red blood from her kills. He kept a book & pen on him & wrote verse on the hunting flights of Sora in the fields & mountains. Once, with an ache he could not name, he tried to write about the beauty of Sora gliding down a cliff side through astanga trees, but his mind kept flashing back to Tarja's wild eyes & the first time he had coaxed her down from the heights; in flash of regret he thought: I have set her on this path; I should have seen that Yevon had blessed me that day, but I was blinded by arrogance.
One day, as he was watching the snow fall from the maester's sitting room, the view beautifully framed by shoji screens, he was very taken with the way the snow fell, blowing this way &that, hitting the astanga trees & their deep green brushy foliage; with a moody sense of sorrow & tenderness, he remembered the golden days of summer & fall; he relived the past mistakes he had made; then with the courage of a real man, he took firmly accountability for his actions & laid his past wrong doings to rest, finally stating he would accept the unacceptable, endure the unendurable. He would never do such things again. He would give himself the respect he so badly wanted; he realized that if he respected himself first, others would respect him.
The swirl of memories & images mixed in his mind like the snow he was watching , and soon, he had scratched out a set of verses that somehow captured it all:
And the summer became the fall

I was not ready for the winter

It makes no difference at all

-I was frozen all summer long[xi]
I had learned to be a stranger

Blond on blond light upon light[xii]

In silence she says no spoken word, no small command
What was it she wanted, they say I had everything…[xiii]

I beg of you now, what was it that fell?

Was it one fallen leaf, like the feather that it was

Was freedom by choice, or lady, was it love?
Was it a thorn in your side?

Something that you hide?

Something you don't touch

Because it hurts too much…
Well have you come to see

That my face is not seen

outside my frost covered windows

Oh and just how deep do you hold that dream

In your hands each night this time
Did I force you to remember

In the sacred name of love

To be brave save the stranger, but it's

Sable on blond Dark upon light

Because it hurts too much

I beg of you now, what was it that fell?

Well this time I think it was you, fool

This time…[xiv]

The maester read his efforts along with everyone else's in his beautifully modulated voice, & somehow, the starved soul of Tidus began to feel more accepting of his life; now, instead of falling into the trap of berating himself & drinking to numb his conscience, he simply dropped the poor habit & worked towards a better way.
One day, he gathered his courage & spoke with the Maester after class; they walked through the soft snowfall in the southern garden; stumbling, hesitant, he admitted he had was not happy with his life, he wanted to change. Of course, Seymour had seen the young man's sincere efforts to grow into a better man in the past two seasons, and knew the verses were a reflection of his inner landscape; he decided it was time to exert his influence, but it must be done subtly, so Tidus would see the danger he was heading towards himself, instead of having it crammed down his throat. Tidus stayed afterwards again the next week with the excuse of a small formal gift of thanks; soon, they made it their habit to walk in the garden & talk after class.
Seymour also did not fail to note the way Tidus' eyes sought out the figure of his personal weapon, whether she was striding ahead of them in proper guard mode, swinging her katana in a kata, etching a complex pattern in the snow to pass the time while they conversed, or standing still, back turned, to give them privacy, silhouetted against the snowy gardens. Once, to tease the young man into an admission of romantic feelings for his delightfully sharp weapon, he had her dressed in a formal men's hakama, all white, as dictated by the current wedding fashion; against the early spring snow, she was a delightful picture, as white becomes all complexions & makes even the plainest girl a beauty. The sight of Tidus finding every excuse to move & keep the beauty in his viewpoint, even after Seymour deliberately stepped in between Tidus & the object of his visual addiction, gave the maester the evidence he needed. He almost giggled at Tidus' love-struck state of mind, hidden from the casual observer but displayed so clearly to his maester's trained eyes; but even better, Seymour also realized Yuna's influence had waned enough for him to step in & tell Tidus of the machinations of the society of the secret ShihTan she belonged to. But first, he decided to have just a little more fun. He always wanted to try being a matchmaker.
Chapter Eight
"Engage people with what they expect; it is what they are able to discern and confirms their projections. It settles them into predictable patterns of response, occupying their minds while you wait for the extraordinary moment — that which they cannot anticipate."[xv]
When dignitaries or aristocrats visited Maester Seymour's estate that winter & spring , most came with their own guards & personal weapons, all invisibly bristling with caution. Seymour's mental assault began when they were ushered into his meeting rooms, which were all clean of any decoration aside from the statue of Yevon & a scroll with a beautiful calligraphy of a verse from his great book of teachings. It shocked them to see him sitting there alone, with no weaponry & no guards; it was a great tool in mentally disarming them; Seymour gleefully predicted their thought: if he was that confident of himself to sit thus, then perhaps his power was far greater than they knew, since no man sits in a room with an enemy without a weapon, not even the emperor!
The second assault was that in the weapon herself – she looked inoffensive, pretty, & delicate at first. Assaults were handled in an efficient, deadly manner that was breathtaking in its subtle simplicity. She would even bow respectfully afterwards & thank them for the opportunity! But, oh, how she subdued anyone that crossed Maester Seymour's path with ill intent!
It was another of the maester's secret delights to keep Tarja hidden from sight until he called for her; then she would obediently run to the edge of tatami , swiftly kneel, & glide across the mat on her knees, turn with swirl of formal robes & settle at his feet, graceful as a swan gliding across the lake in front of his home. The long sword, the katana, was always visible behind her left shoulder, as a reminder she was his personal weapon; the tanto was allowed to peep out from her obi, delicately emphasizing her slim waist.
He took an even greater delight when Tidus & Yuna were called to visit; he usually ensured she was dressed with the subtle sumptuousness of the high court hakama for warriors, the deep tones & sturdier fabrics usually favored by men somehow playing up her feminity, yet leaving her free to run, jump, or do any of the incredible defensive moves she had trained in on Earth, even on her knees if need be. But today was different; Seymour knew the pair were no threat & decided she would wear a full high court kimono. It had belonged to his mother; the treasured object of memory been laid in storage between astanga wood boards, the clean resin scent recalling the heights of mount Gazgaret where it grew, where the air was clear as ringing bells & eagles nested.
It was a glorious creation, & was so exquisitely designed it was more in the nature of a piece of art vs. a garment meant for mere mortals. The kimono was in pattern of the traditional black uchikake style, with long court sleeves & a train to drape the wearer with sculpted folds & a white under-kimono with a gold Obi waist wrap, but its resemblance to the traditional high court dress ended there. The robes were cut from highest quality silk, just heavy enough to flow, yet light enough to prevent any impediment to the wearer's movement. Seymour's mother had been famed for her dancing, so the robe was designed to cling & swirl, enhancing her least movement. Gold embroidery graced the robe in an unusual theme; the top was almost bare of decoration, with a striking pair of eagles flying in tandem on the back right shoulder, positioned just at the very spot where a royal blood would have been tattooed at birth with their house sigil. More gold embroidery subtly began to enhance the hips & lower half, with a design of stylized mountains adorned with astanga trees peeping out from clouds, the precious gold threads gradually becoming more ornately intertwined as they brought the savage heights & clashing steep glens to life against the black, until they met at the hem in a sold mass of gold threads. In contrast, the obi was simple, deceptively so; it was a rare fabric, gold thread woven with golden umber silk, which imparted a delicate understated sheen against the black of the outer robe; when viewed with other high court kimonos & obi, the kimono appeared as simple as a nun's garb across the room, until you came closer, then the subtle richness of the brocaded patterns could be glimpsed.
The effect was stunning when the dressers were finished with her; her hair was brushed until glossy as the silk it lay against & tied low, exactly one hands breadth from her neckline; her face was delicately enhanced with cosmetics until she appeared as a matchless eagle, black feathered in her court kimono with a sparkling grey-blue eye & softest rose lips juxtaposed against the sharp silhouettes of the katana & tanto.
Secretly Seymour swelled with pride as she ever so delicately ran to the edge of the tatami mat , the gown swirling & settling into folds; it momentarily mesmerized his guests, watching her kneel & floor-walk across the mat; the gown was a superb foil for her body, athletic as his mother's, and almost as deadly as his delicate forebear, whom had also been an imperial weapon of high degree in her own day. And there she sat during the entire visit, ever so gracefully alert, bowing with the correct amount of deference, yet throwing Seymour speaking glances with her enchanting eyes as interesting points in the conversation came up. If Tidus & Yuna were not aware of the high esteem he held his mountain-jade eyed personal weapon, they left knowing it intimately.
Tidus remembered Seymour's mother, from his first visit at high court, watching with utter fascination & adoration at the lovely woman dipping & swirling in this very dress. It brought back a stab of youthful enthusiasm to his soul that he hadn't felt for so long; he found himself suddenly admiring her, a wellspring of jealousy beginning in a corner of his heart, which told him, & not for the first time, that he was fool for letting such a gem slip through his hands. He also admired the adroit way the Maester had displayed his prize, envious that such a beautiful object could also be so useful -dangerously so, but needed in the high court intrigues of Bevelle. By the God, she was refined enough for the emperor's personal guard himself! Now my father will get what he wants…
I have become jaded, he sighed to himself. She makes me long for simpler days….days where he was untainted with court politics & the power of position; when he believed in love & goodness would overcome any obstacle. Now I have built the obstacle between us; I have no one else to blame but myself for my unhappiness! He thought as he ruefully regarded the wide, deep abyss he'd dug between them over the past 2 seasons. She is clearly the victor; I will humble myself to losing this game of love & pray I die quickly, so I will not have to endure a lifetime of eating my soul away watching her be tamed to my father's hand, or someone else's …
The maester's gentle voice chimed in on his thoughts & he forced himself to listen, smile & play the game of polite interested conversation, locking away the silent scream of his youthful heart crying for her, sitting less than 3 feet away from him; the very edge of her long sleeve lay across the hem of his hakama, & foolishly, lovesick, he hung his heart's wish on it, imagining it was a subtle courtship signal; that it was as close she dared to touch him after all this time, after he had so shamefully, searingly, rejected her so long ago; that she still felt the same in her heart & hoped the tiny intrusion would give him hope. His downcast eyes began to blur & he hung his head further, pretending to look for a hankerchief in his pocket, until a single blacker than black spot bloomed on the silken sleeve; he willed his face to remain as stone & to breathe normally, as he pulled the neatly folded square out & pretended to dab at his eyebrow, swiftly blotting the saline of his unshed tears.
Maester Seymour's voice remodulated into a conciliatory tone, & smoothly changing course, asked to be allowed the pleasure of taking Lady Yuna to the silk warehouse, so she could personally pick the brocades she desired? Then carefully maneuvering Tidus, he charmingly suggested the far garden by the gate, it was cooling, it was becoming warm in the spring afternoons; his personal weapon would escort him there & he would send Yuna along; he must listen for the bell from the main house. It would strike twice when Yuna had left the main door.
Tarja quietly rose, took the tea tray from the serving girl's hands & faintly smiling, bowed at the three Spireans, then swiftly moved to the half open shoji door behind the maester. In a breath, Yuna & Seymour were gone, leaving Tidus & Tarja alone, as if the conversation were between the two them all along.
She did not speak the entire walk over, simply looking about her for anything out of the ordinary. Satisfied, she set the tea tray down on a stone bench in a simple pavilion that overlooked the pond & the sweetly scented garden bushes lining the edges. She politely waited until he sat down wherever he chose, then quietly took the guard's position in front of him & to the right.
Once certain they were alone, he greedily drank in the sight of her, hunger plainly written on his face.
Tarja was lost in her own thoughts & did not feel the scorch of Tidus' gaze, contemplating the peaceful pond & the view of the gardens. She had learned something of the way of The Many Gates', the Spirean temple discipline of her innermost self, and she was at peace with sitting there, in front of the man who had thrown her on the road she was travelling. She told herself: It doesn't matter anymore. I forgave myself for allowing myself to be so foolishly gullible in this world of formalized barbarism & plots behind plots. He is still beautiful, he is still Yuna's consort, I am still an alien with a veneer of their civilization on top.
Her eyes casually noted a swallow diving into the soft green water & soaring above their heads into the pavilion. Their tranquility was disturbed when a series of frantic whistles & cheeps began behind them; the swallow found itself trapped in the tiny alcove in the wall & was frantically dashing itself against the door, where a glimpse of the path was seen in through the metal grille set in the center of the door. Tarja & Tidus looked around & instantly both their faces softened at the poor creature's plight. Tarja immediately rose & ran over, hoping to gently persuade the tiny bird to fly out of the alcove to freedom; Tidus also jumped up, and ran the other way, also hoping the 2^nd distraction would make the creature take the open path back to the pond; but instead it became even more frantic, wings fluttering as it darted here & there between the two; suddenly Tidus' heart cracked at the sight.
He had seen himself in the bird, fluttering madly to escape its fate, a way of life he had been trapped in; he was filled with a deep fear of Lady Yuna; his position of consort seemed to take on dark overtones in his mind; he wanted to escape, but instead, he was foolishly crashing headlong into a wall until it killed him. Indeed, that is exactly what the bird did; it flew headlong into the door grille, dropped to the ground suddenly, & laid there without a further move. Grieved, he stooped down & tenderly held the creature in his hands, shuddering with suppressed sobs at the dire foreshadow of his fate, lying right there, lifeless in his warm brown hands. Will anyone even grieve for me when I dash myself to pieces? Does anyone care enough in this world to rescue me? Do I rescue myself? If I do, what is left for me to live for? All I see is an empty life. All roads will be alike to me, if I am alone! He simply shut his eyes, blanched & two tracks of silver ran down his cheeks.
He almost did not feel the lightest of touches removing the tiny feathered creature from his hands, he was so distraught; then he shook himself as she spoke his name softly several times; grimly, he opened his eyes & acknowledged her. After all, Yuna was coming soon.
Her mountain jade grey-blue eyes no longer distant cool stones, she quietly said: "Look. Look, Tidus…all is not lost – the bird was stunned for a moment – it is not dead. Please, please don't weep, Tidus….here, look for yourself & see the life." She gently held her hands out, & sure enough, a wing fluttered & its gleaming jet eye was now open & lively. She gently continued: "Tidus..Tidus-san, I think the wing is broken; I know you have healed your hawks & eagles; perhaps this little one can also be healed? …Will you do this? Please? For…for the creature? "
He nodded, & held his hands out for the swallow. Something began to bloom in his heart in a space he had thought of as dead, barren & blasted as winter these past months. The tiny swallow looked up at him with a curious gleam in its eyes, but did not struggle to fly away. He almost smiled, the arrogant patrician face softening into more boyish lines; he looked across at Tarja, and it was like he was suddenly seeing her again for the first time, with his heart so much older & wiser, but still HIS heart, despite its many wounds & scars. He realized in that moment he loved her, despite everything. And that he was terrified of Yuna.
Tarja was shocked, it was like she was also suddenly seeing Tidus for the first time; the face he presented was a radical departure from the haughty aristocrat she knew in the past; it was the face she had dreamed of, tender, open, & noble. Her heart could not help itself, & it whispered to Tidus through Tarja's's rose petal mouth: "Indeed, my love, there is nothing that is lost that cannot be found again, If you have the will to look for it..."
The bell rang twice in the distance, announcing Lady Yuna's departure. Tarja stepped forward, & gently extracted the handkerchief from his pocket, then gently wiped his face clear of tears with it. He could tell the exact moment the casual touch turned into a caress; he allowed himself a few seconds of this secret ecstasy, then gently stopped her hand & extracted the cloth before his self-control was completely gone & he would be caught making violent love to the personal weapon of Maester Seymour in Seymour's garden. His hand gently rose again, & softly traced an arc of a caress on her lovely face, just hovering above the skin, close as can be without actually touching; leaving just his eyes touching her everywhere.
He knew just the right way to contact her again, as he held the messenger in his hands. He quietly bowed & resumed his former seat on the stone bench, awaiting his Lady's arrival & began to minister to the broken wing. A few minutes later he spoke in a formal tone: "And now, mistress Tarja, a single strand of your hair, please? – even a silk thread would weigh this small fellow down. Now. There. He will mend his wing again & fly to the heavens by the moon festival. Ah, Lady Yuna arrives. Yuna? See, a swallow flew into the wall, most unusual for this time of year, yes?..." And so, he departed from the garden, gently talking about the sparrow, drawing off the Lady Yuna, pretending to ignore Tarja as if she were nothing more than another sharp weapon set to guard him.
Seymour finally sent Tidus the secret message he promised during O-Bon, & spoke to him with the authority of maester about the events that were planned, & his plans to oppose them; however, he kept silent about the other plans he had been instructed with for the sake of his oldest friend. After sitting him down in his private temple, far away from large ears, he spoke carefully to the young lord consort.
The Shih Tan was a most secret society; no one really knew what their purpose was, unlike the Tong societies, who simply wanted control of brothels, alcohol, weapons & drugs; therefore, the ShihTan was more feared. The society members were not only going to sacrifice Tidus to the kingdom's justice after using him, they were going to engage in an abomination; a ritual feast was to be prepared of his flesh & served to the society. They chose him for specific reasons, as an example that was close to the throne, and fed him every pleasure, warped his mind with herbs, brainwashed him with the secret mental techniques of the society to be a killing machine for their machinations & simply had humiliated & abused him just because they could.
They thought of themselves as connoisseurs of the exotic; over the years they had claimed to have amassed the power of the poor souls they'd eaten; the ancient belief that eating the flesh of one's enemy gave them their enemy's strength was a myth they had bought into, instilled by a devious & clever mind greater than their own shallow, grasping, greedy thoughts. The worst part was that it was suspected that the Shih Tan was not made of men, but of women, the silent powers behind the society & life as they knew it.
It took a heart far more subtle & cunning to plan at this level & keep to the shadows. He then delicately brought up that Lady Yuna was not clever enough to mastermind such a thing & bade him think of any enemy he had that possessed such cunning. He let Tidus see for himself who was really behind the evils done to him. Seymour never outright admitted he knew it was the empress herself behind the Shih Tan; he had recognized the strong hand on the note, from decades ago when the empress still wrote her own letters. However, Tidus immediately understood the inference.
Tidus knew with a sickening feeling that Seymour was right, dead right. It made sense, they had all treated him so well, because they knew what was going to happen. He was no better than a beast being fattened for slaughter. No matter that his blood has half royal; the emperor had plenty of bastards to go around. With malign distaste, he now saw Lady Yuna as the society's welcome mat, his desire for her running out of his veins like sand in the antique Al Bhed time keeper that sat on Seymour's low writing table. But at the same time, a corner of his heart was singing; he could leave this life without any further excuse to stay. His eyes frosted over into blue ice, & he firmly turned to the Maester, saying: "Secret Shih Tan be damned, let them eat my sword & like it, Maester."
"Ah, so the young eagle wishes to fly into the face of his enemy after all? I would advise to fly to the capital & take sanctuary in the temple, until the imperial hand of justice can execute its plans. There has been action planned for some time. All it needed was an official reason to proceed. You agree? Ah, good. And there is another in the eye of the Shih Tan who needs to fly from Bevelle; my thought is all birds travel in flocks. Before you refuse, hear further. I have gone to considerable trouble on your behalf, and I have machinations of mine own to complete to make the whole work as planned. There is a high price for my information, guardian Tidus-san; are you willing to pay any price to escape this moon festival alive? Good."
" My price is twofold: One, my favorite weapon must leave with you; she will be seized by the Society if I do not remove her from Bevelle, Tidus-san. I elect to confound their machinations; they do not align with the emperor's vision of the kingdom."
Shocked, Tidus wonders: Is he the emperor's personal agent? How could he have been under our noses for so long? Holy Yevon, have I been a fool!
Tidus gracefully catches himself & replies in kind: "Eagles travel in pairs; I will be glad of a companion, maester. She is a weapon so sharp, even Yevon would be cut should the two meet!"
"Second, I want you to formally relinquish your legal status of consort to the Lady Yuna, passing your entire holdings to my care as steward of your estate."
Tidus was glad to be extricated from Yuna's grasp, but startled at losing his estate to the maester; he hadn't thought about being not wealthy, & wondered how long he'd last without money & his holdings. Seeing the dismay on Tidus' face the maester quietly added: " Tidus-san, there is good reason for this; your estate will be kept in stasis legale by the emperor's treasury until you, or any legal entity representing you named beforehand can claim it. That way, Bevelle's high court cannot seize it; we suspect there is corruption & if you leave Yuna, her claim for damages will be upheld, no matter how exaggerated the claim is. I have no interest in your wealth, as I have quite enough, you see. It is the Lady Yuna whom holds our interest; I will take great pleasure in ‘using’ your newly added wealth as a tool to obtain her interest. It will also be easier for me to convert holdings to cash for your travel without questions if the estate is in my hands. All it requires is your trust, & my standard legal fee for my services."
Tidus agreed, asking with a forced calmness he did not feel in the least: "Does mistress Tarja know she will travel with me?"
The Maester allows himself a charming smile, pouring tea into his cup, & suddenly Tidus gets he did not, & with good reason.
Tidus grins in return, and suddenly emotionally moved to gratitude, he starts to say: "Maester, how do I…how can I ever-" The maester cut him off with a shake of his black-purple hair & softly laughed: " You tell her! Maybe she'll take your head instead of mine! But seriously, Tidus-san, if you wish to be grateful in real terms, I ask you to support the emperor's wishes – you will know when to act; the moment will present itself clearly."
Chapter Nine
"Do not move up-stream to meet the enemy."[xvi]
You called me by my name in this world, & I ignored you, my ears were deaf
You called me again by my true name & I heard you, loud as a thundering heart
I am yours, calling Yevon's name in praise every sunset
Nakita, the bathhouse girl, whistled & giggled at the ever so romantic lines written on the tiny roll of parchment on the sparrow's leg, dyed to match, & carefully rerolled it back onto the tiny creature's limb. "I win! She crowed at Ainjin, who groaned in mock frustration & handed over his bet. She did a small dance of delight & kissed Ainjin, then ran to bully Tarja into wearing a kimono for dinner & ensure her hair was dressed, with flowers this time. Ainjin carefully carried the cage back to the dojo courtyard, & took an entire 5 minutes to place the cage with the love message at just the right place where they could all see if Tarja would dance like Nakita or not when she read the message. He had again bet his month's pay, double or nothing this time.
The guard carefully held its breath, as she carefully tucked the tiny scrap of paper into her Obi, & took two steps away from the delicate bamboo cage on the table. She began to giggle & suddenly joyfully spun in a few dancing steps, snatched an apple from a bowl on the table, threw it up & sliced it with a quick draw of her katana. Yes! She cried happily, then embarrassed, put a hand over her mouth & looked around wide-eyed to see if anyone had heard her. Everyone ducked below the wall of the balcony & held their breaths; Ainjin had a trainee in a head lock, his hand over the boy's nose & face to prevent the fit of nervous boyish giggles at his most feared teacher dancing like a love struck virgin. Ainjin almost felt like a dance himself, with an extra month's pay in the pocket. I should do that apple toss when we train! He thought, thinking of how he'd impress Nakita if he learned that trick.
Sunset found Tidus kneeling in front of Yevon, calming himself with sutras; he kept telling himself not to expect anything today, maybe not even for weeks, but he hoped she would come. It is never wrong to hope…He told himself. A lady in a kimono was walking up the path & he sighed in disappointment. He felt her kneel behind him & smelled an incense stick being lit. He politely rose to go & a "Tidus-san?" stopped him; delighted, he turned & recognized Tarja, clad in a kimono behind him. He cocked his head in surprise at the lovely gown & flowers in hair – it wasn't like her!
She looked a bit embarrassed & sighed: "Nakita thought it'd make a good disguise." Yeah, right. I feel ridiculous. She rose from her pillow & imitated him, arms crossed, leaning against a stone pillar supporting the blue glazed tile roof.
"She was right. Your display as a lady is a stunning camouflage. Who would think a lord consort would fall flat on his face for a wild trainee, running around like a man in hakama? Not I."
"What eagle-tamer would send a sparrow as a messenger? Not you."
Both fell silent for a moment, then uncomfortably tried not to be caught stealing glances at the other; Tarja gave it up &decided she'd have to lead – she knew that after the years of subtly enforced submission to the pets of the empress, Tidus would never be the man he was struggling to be if he had to beg her pardon. It was the acting role of a lifetime, she knew he had behaved badly at O-Bon, but he was only three steps away, & it seemed like such a small price to pay for his confidence.
She suddenly looked up, genuine tears sparkling in her eyes, ran over to him & cast herself on his chest, burying her head into the warm silk of his Gi & began to cry. 'I never thought I'd ever see you again, my brave eagle…my heart…my...my...love! Oh, please, please, forgive me! It was pride that held me back, after you left at O-Bon! Please tell me you forgive me, Tidus!"
His heart swelled, and for the first time in years, his confidence soared & broke free of the cage the empress had built around it & he found himself manfully clasping Tarja close, tenderly reaching a hand up to stroke the satiny hair, then bravely, possessively, running it through the strands, long fingers wrapping around the skull, only to firmly pull it closer to him. He laid claim to her, fiercely daring anyone within eyesight, no, the world, to even try to wrest his little eagle from him; in turn, her hands slipped from his waist, only to wrap around him all the more closely. He heard her murmur into his shoulder; he wanted to hear her say again he was her eagle, her love, all the tender things he longed to hear; & there were things to tenderly whisper in her ear, so he slipped two fingers below her chin & lifted it clear. Eyes met & clung, both speaking in the silent language of wild things: I see you, I truly see you & my heart bounds with joy at the very sight of you, my blood sings….love me, love me now, I would fight through oceans of time for you…all tender words forgotten, Tidus simply leaned in & found himself giving -& receiving- the most intense, searing, crushing, passionate kiss he'd ever felt.
As his soul quieted, now filled with a clean contentment at being fed with the right diet of a good woman's love & affection, he finally asked into her hair: "What was it you said, Washiita? I have been so foolish myself these past two seasons…if anything, forgive me?' Then, foolishly romantic: "Look at me. I want to hear you say that, again."
She complied, & soon the tension eased; they filled the next half hour with their versions of events in the last months, interspersed with tender marks of affection; a strand of hair idly stroked, a handclasp that gently tightened helped them both over the rough emotional patches. Finally, Tidus brought up the maester's plan for escape from Bevelle:
"Know why you're here? Aside from hearing my lovesick apologies for being the ass end of a pit viper at O-Bon? Well, here's something else you need to hear. I've done it. I am seizing my life in my hands & taking it, be damned to it all – Yuna, the Shih Tan, the empress, all of it. Yes, He told me. All of it. Maester has arranged for me to leave Bevelle. Then leave the kingdom if need be. He's helping me, with a few conditions of his own, one namely around you. He has to get you out of Bevelle & into the capital at least, to be protected by the temple. He wants you to go with me. Ah. Good. You will go, then? Ok. Now here's a further offer, one that was not in his plan: Come with me. All the way."
"All the way? To the end of your journey?"
He nods; now dazed again by the intense look of boyish admiration she remembered from a summer day returning to light his eyes, she nods, complicit.
Over the next month, Tidus spent time secreting items for his escape into a pack, gifting people & trusted servants with some things, then quietly creating the legal documents Maester Seymour asked for. He spent time wandering his favorite places in the city, knowing he might never return to see them; he spent more & more time with the guard, practicing until he was dusty & bruised, but rose more skilled as the days went by; he played the part of consort to Yuna admirably, even charmingly hinting at a wedding offer, along with the gift of a pure white kimono to wear at the moon festival, lavishly decorated with pearls & embroidered with flowers, fans, tassels & a pair of firebirds, all symbols of good luck for weddings.
He even made love to her with enthusiasm, mentally enjoying the thought he would be free of her demands in bed, which currently consisted of insisting on humiliating lewdnesses, with panting orders for one position after another, so the act of love was more like the act of a street acrobat, than an expression of true passion. He pretended to not to notice the efforts to ensure he was brought every pleasure, invited to a private erotic party at an estate in town so the scene would be set on the night of the festival of the full moon. He pretended to be addled with drugs in her presence, & his trusted servants ensured his food & drink were clean. Above all, hope shone in his heart; hope that whatever he was travelling to would be a better place; that he & Tarja would somehow come to some understanding between them; that at least he would be free to be the man he wanted to be, not the arrogant, spoiled, haughty, jaded aristocrat he had been.
Yuna was almost regretful Tidus would be gone; he was an exquisitely good lover, & had somewhat seriously thought of the advantage of being wedded to a half royal. She tried to argue the point with the society, saying that it would allow them to infiltrate further in, but they scoffed, saying they had three such half royal bastards in their employ already; besides, they hinted that the next consort-elect would be young Rain, the young warrior who had lately bloomed; Bevelle was agog at his audacity on the battlefield & his warm brown laughing eyes. Indolent, & flattered, she simply shrugged & accepted their story that Tidus was being used to keep the true hope of a united kingdom alive.
Tidus went over the stern instructions given by Maester Seymour earlier: "Drink nothing, eat nothing that is offered that day, say you are under priest's order to fast before the feast; keep a pebble in your mouth. Do not allow the lady to light candles or incense near you; they will likely be drugged. Refuse any congress with the lady, even a kiss can be poison today, young master. If at all possible, leave the house before she does; use the priest's token as an excuse; go to the temple with the hot springs at the old south temple gate; stay in the public eye, travel in a crowd on the way there. I doubt you will be followed, if you set the idea in the lady's mind that you are still the same innocent gosling she was set to guard. Carry no pack or signs of travel about you that day; all will be ready for you. At the temple, ask for the ritual of purification before a wedding; when he asks the houses that will be joined, say two eagles."
Tarja was waiting by the secret back gate, indistinguishable from any other temple guardian, her straw hat shading her face into obscurity, the temple's soft grey-green travelling hakama & short double wrapped kimono somehow blurring her figure, blending almost seamlessly into the walls in the half light. He was clad in plain dark blue, the usual blanks most men travelled in; but both were girt with short bow & arrow as well as katana & tanto. They both were blessed by the priest, then mounted horses & rode hard once they had quietly walked out of the temple gate into the road away from the city. They pushed the horses as hard as they dared & reached the far bend of the river at sunset, making the last ferry of the evening. On the opposite side & a mile down, a small skiff was tied up at the dock of a waterfront shrine. They threw their two packs in, & shoved off in the early evening with only the light of the moon to guide them. Two days float & they would make the imperial capital, where the temple of heaven would shield them until passage across the ocean could be made. They would take turns at the rudder, to allow them some sleep on the journey. Tarja was exhilarated, despite the danger; the skiff was light & easy to handle, the stars were coming up in the sky & she was her own person again, unbound by this world's rules for a few days. She patiently kept the skiff centered on the main currents for as long as she could, as she doubted that Tidus had any experience sailing anything on the water. There would be time to teach him at dawn, when he could see the river currents as well as feel them. He slept lightly this night, more stressed at leaving all he knew behind than at the rocking of the boat in the current. He sat up to watch the dawn, the waters misting above the river, lending a mysterious air to the river, as sunlight gradually crept upon the sky, sending fingers of light to gently dabble in the waters below. When the fingers started to touch the riverbanks with drifts of lotus opening their tight purple veined buds to the sun's warmth, he felt a sense of oneness with his universe & it seemed that everything was calling to him. Quietly overjoyed, he stretched his hands to the sky, dropped them on the wooden bar behind him & tilted his face to the sun, and lotus-like, let himself open to the sun. He turned to Tarja after a good half hour passed & asked a wholly unexpected question: "Just how the hell do you take a piss on one these mosquitos?"
Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that! She thought; she wryly smiled & in a second, they both erupted into laughter as they realized they didn't think of that simple, but necessary function of life in their plans. She pulled the boat over to the left shoreline on a sandbar, & ran out to commune with nature herself. Relieved, she ran back & did a furious, but brief stretch to unknot her shoulders from holding the rudder all night. Tidus noticed, and told her he was steering today; he assured her that he knew how to handle bigger boats, as his summer home was on the great lake north of Bevelle. He re-stowed the packs in the front to weight the skiff correctly, then took off his short gi & under kimono, leaving just pants & travelling boots on. He rolled the shirts, placed them on his lap, and motioned her in, holding out a hand to help balance her as she stepped aboard the rocking craft. He quietly settled her in the bench just before his & gently, but firmly, pulled her backwards until her head hit his chest, then he gently lowered her to the roll of clothes on his lap & simply said: "Sleep." As she settled against the roll, the warm honey scent of his skin underlaid with a faint scent of astanga wood resin soap drifted up, & his strong legs wrapped around her torso, firmly pushing his feet on the wood seat to hold steady, like any good sailor would do to keep his stow-mate from rocking the boat as they slept. She awoke when the sun was past noon, but still high in the sky, & watched the clouds drift by in the sky; Tidus' hand unconsciously stroked her hair, then noticing she was awake, moved his hand to her face, tracing the soft arc of the untouchable caress he did in the Maester's garden. Confused, yet desiring his touch, she slowly rubbed her head against the roll, then slowly sat up. Not here, not now, Tidus thought; but as soon as we find a proper bed, I will leave you no room to doubt me, little eagle.
She shyly smiled & carefully moved to the center bench, pulling an apple out of the backpack & idly munched it, asking questions about the river as they drifted downstream in the currents. Welcoming the distraction, he answered her questions, slowly opening up until they were telling each other confidences they'd never told anyone else, cracking jokes & filling the two seasons-long abyss between them until sunset; then Tidus opened the box beneath the stern-mate's seat & shook out a circle net; he cast it with a practiced flip of his wrist in the shallows of a river bend, and soon had a catch of silver-sides; after picking a pair, he wrapped them in leaves from the large river bamboos growing on the shore & placed them on a hot rock in the fire he had built. In a half turn of the clock, they were eating the first hot meal they'd had in two days.
Staring at the little campfire's warm embers, contented, Tidus began to idly stroke her hair again as she sat at his feet; she leaned into the caress & surprisingly, asked if he'd like to make love on the little beach. She took his silence as rejection; she rose & started to quietly move away, ashamed she had asked, but he caught her to him, & turned her roughly to face him; Tidus exclaimed: "I want to! Trust me. I. Want. To. But I think I deserve a bed, not dirt. I…I have been trained to please, Tarja, since age 13; and never have I been allowed to please myself. Please, please allow me this one thing. I promise you, will not regret it, little eagle. I want you. Believe it."
Again shocked at the revelation of the warrior, now admitting he was trained like a courtesan in making love, she just dumbly nodded & thought: I want you too, Tidus. I've always wanted you. Perhaps it is I who needs the lesson. Maybe it's barbaric to them to be spontaneous. Accept. Listen. Learn.
To show she understood, she lifted a hand & imitated his untouchable caress over his face, vs. leaning in for a kiss. His blue eyes warmed in appreciation of the subtlety of her gesture; he found himself returning the subtle caress on her face. She looked so appealing in the firelight; & with his newfound sense of freedom, he decided to bend just a little, huskily saying: "Those lips were made for passion – kiss me this once for a taste, Tarja…a promise of what is to come…" He gently looked down at her & all she could do was stare mesmerized at his firm lips mouthing the words 'kiss me' silently, a flood of erotic images now crowding her mind, spilling into her blood, carried along every artery into the secret places in her body; she raised on her toes, and with admirable control, placed her lips on his, gently pressing against the warm flesh. Then her world turned upside down. Tidus took command, firmly moving his lips on hers as he turned his head to delve into her warm mouth further with his tongue, expertly adding to the sensual overload with a deep purr in the back of his golden throat. He willed himself to stay absolutely still, so he would not lose further control, just concentrating on the kiss, now a touch savage as he kept a hand on the back of her neck, pressing hard & deep, then pulling away with a gentle nip to her full lower lip.
Suddenly, the night seemed much happier, and somehow, why they were there, on a river in the middle of nowhere, running from a secret society of assassins, made perfect sense.
They kicked the fire out, then climbed back aboard the skiff to keep moving through the night. Tarja took the rudder & Tidus took the stow-mates position, head in her lap & deliciously trapped between two slim legs. The next morning, they exchanged places; the river deepened & the current picked up; two bluffs came into view & as they passed, Tidus told her the tale of the two giants fighting in the beginning of time, forever frozen in place as guards, having offended the harmony of the gods by their jealous bickering over the river. He also remarked that they should reach the delta & the imperial capital by nightfall. The river started to show signs of civilization soon after, & Tarja soon struggled into an upright position, donning her hat in order to give the appearance of a proper waterman's woman. Tidus donned his under kimono & Gi, much to her disappointment; she had enjoyed the view of his golden brown torso, rippling with muscle in the spring sun.
It was sunset when they found the temple of heaven's pier on the river; it wasn't hard to find, everyone they asked had assured them it would be shining as brightly as day & the temple boys in their grey green garb were out, helping to tie up boats & help the sick, the infirm, or the elderly in & out. There was an older man overseeing the boys & he politely asked them their business with the temple & they again said a wedding ritual purification; they were instructed to tell them the houses of the eagle & the dove this time & bowing, the grey-haired iron fist of a man led the way himself to the temple chambers.
They had made it! They were safely hidden in the imperial capital temple. Tidus found himself pulled away from his companion of two days & fretful, he almost raised his voice at the priest, who smiled benignly & bowed as he waved him into the head priest's private office. The head priest reaffirmed the code words & they conversed for a good hour about the situation Tidus had left behind in Bevelle. The Shih Tan had little influence in the imperial Capital; however, it didn't stop the emperor & his legal court from ensuring they did not further expand their influence. The abomination of bending a man’s mind to be a killing machine was bad enough, but the secret feast of the flesh, prepared with expertise of a chef's skills aroused the imperial anger no small amount.
He was asked about Tarja, how she came to Spirea, what his impressions of her kind were; the high priest was silently amused at the way this young eagle's feathers ruffled at the mere idea she was something other than a superb creature; Ahhh…lovebirds I am sheltering as well as warriors! Perhaps this is a good thing; we won't have to separate them when the imperial service is offered. What an odd pair they are; I must convince them to visit again & record their story, especially hers, we have never had a record of a human from this Earth yet; we have to investigate where the gate is on the mountain, ensure it is closed…" the priest thought as he poured tea for Tidus. He then gently informed Tidus he was a guest here for a few days, until he had arranged things & taken his report to the council of the requisite high court & received a ruling, plus funds to pursue actions. He suggested they did not leave the city, nor advertise their presence; he politely insisted that staying on the temple grounds might allow some further secrecy & protection.
After Tidus left for a long needed bath & a real bed, the temple maester turned to the muslin panel to his right & quietly laughed, stating: "Well, what do you think of this love struck eagle's story?" The face remained shadowed, but the robes of an imperial high court personage peeped out as they stirred from the chair & quietly laughed also: "I suspect we will have a wedding in the temple by solstice, by Yevon! The young eagle has shown an extraordinary resourcefulness as number two has written; his story concurs with the reports. He is who he says he is. I will set the next steps in motion. And maester? – Observe her for me- tell me if she is truly trained. The son of heaven is most interested."
Delicious, Tarja thought as she approached the large communal bathtub. It was lined with blue tiles, making it a perfect reflecting pool for the night sky above their heads in the miniature formal garden; lit by lanterns , scented with night blooming lotus & temple incense, it was a welcome indulgence after the two day run down the river. She had scrubbed the dirt of the journey off in the women's communal bath house & had her tight shoulders & hips unknotted by a novice; her clothes had been washed, but were still drying, so she wore a simple temple trainee’s practice gi & hakama loaned by the temple's storehouse of donations. She was not anxious as Tidus had been when they were separated; she had anticipated it, as he was a half royal bastard son & she was, well, not royal. She was treated with the rank and status that the maester had officially bestowed on her; her room was simple, but well appointed & the tea was of excellent quality. She was joined by a few other women, also travelers. They all enjoyed the restful garden glimpsed through the rising steam of the ever-so-hot water & the few idle comments faded into a comfortable silence as the hot water undid all the stresses of the day. Later, utterly relaxed, lying on a soft futon, drifting into sleep, Tarja mentally replayed the sensual kiss Tidus & she had shared the evening before more than once, delighted at the fierce avowal that he wanted her.
Chapter Ten
"There is a proper season for making attacks with fire, and special days for starting a conflagration."[xvii]
Tarja woke suddenly & for a moment, was disoriented; it was still night, but the lantern in the courtyard was now dark; she frowned in the darkness, remembering she had filled it to the top with lamp oil. Sighing, she decided to get up & relight it; as she began to roll, she heard a footfall against the wood of the little porch & moments later, the faint snick of the shoji opening to her bedroom. Trying to breathe silently, she felt for her tanto on her left, & placed her right hand on her katana lying on the pillow next to her. Tensely, she counted the footfalls as they made the way to her bed. She wondered why the intruder hadn't sprung on her, and could make out a darker profile against the slightly diluted dark of the courtyard.
The profile moved oddly, a rumple of fabric hit the floor as a temple robe was untied; the figure sat itself on the bed , then gently turned to her & touched her shoulder to shake her awake; her veins flooding with relief, she recognized the feel of honey gold fingers. She pretended to wake slowly, & simply threw herself into his arms, soundlessly burying her head in his shoulder in happiness. He in turn clutched at her like she was his buoy in stormy waters, relieved they had made the journey & were safe, plus something more. He quietly spoke: " I wanted to see you before I went to sleep. They have a room for me in the main guest house, in the royal quarters. Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We have planning to do – but, I hope you'll have time to be on my arm for some time in the gardens & for the dinner." Softly caressing her, he continued: "I want you to see the temple tomorrow, too. You know I pray to Yevon now, don't you?" In silence he started his second evening prayer, drawing her closer & kissing her so thoroughly she was left breathless. He pulled back after a few moments, & regretful, said:" "I have a guard waiting on me by the gate, I can't stay here, as much as I want to. He'll come get you tomorrow, very early, at dawn. We have to stay out of sight." After another delicious caress, and he pulled on the disguise of a priest's temple robe again & slipped out the door like a ghost fading into night.
Dawn found its way into the temple like a little grey cat on soft feet, surprising a trainee or two with its sudden appearance. But not Tarja or Tidus. Their escorts found them dressed & peacefully contemplating their images of Yevon in cool courtyards, incense sweetly smoking. Outer calm hid an inner eagerness to be near each other & true to courting behavior, each tried to be pleasing to the other. They followed the soft grey green robes of the temple acolytes through cool stone hallways to the courtyard of the main temple & knelt alongside the monks & temple trainees all sitting in quiet meditative silence; a quiet joy was passed from face to face of the monks as the first beams of sunlight threw themselves on the image of Yevon; The head priest began the chant of the praise sutra:
Praise be to you, oh divine sun of my heart
We lift our hearts in praise, we are loved
Our praise shall be as incense
Our praise shall be as love
Praise be to you, O Yevon of the secret heart!
A reading from the 9^th chapter was given, & after a short space of meditation, the great temple bell tolled the 6^th hour of the morning; the day had begun. Tidus & Tarja were directed to a hall where food was served to the monks, and received instructions from the maester & his assistant on pending plans; when all was said, they were left to themselves to enjoy the temple grounds & its amenities until the high court had reviewed the case. Of course, the maester lost no time in inviting Tarja to discourse on her planet, & demonstrate her unusual fighting techniques. He had heard of the dojo fight & was quite curious. Later, when he was writing his report, he confided to the recipient that although the little eagle's magnificent talents had enthralled him greatly, he was now in absolute awe of Tidus; he'd never seen a man so fearless in taming her to his hand, and was impressed with his quick thinking. He delicately avoided the personal thought that Tidus' fearlessness went hand in hand with his sheer stubbornness, much like his father's pugnacious attitude when his ire was aroused. It never did to prink a royal's nose. Besides, who wouldn't be a bit feisty, when such prizes of soft rose lips & melting eyes of mountain jade were to be had?
The days at the temple were a halcyon of peace for Tidus; he was starting anew in his life & it strengthened his soul to be there, where respect for what had made him dwelled in abundance. He teased Tarja into a kimono in the evenings, since it pleased him to see her so; they walked the gardens, or walked the rooftop lookouts, with Tidus pointing out the greater buildings of the palace, the markets & the courts that he had been in. He would often find quiet corners to hide away with her; he was mannerly, but at the same time it didn't stop him from letting her know he was a man with a man's appetites & attempting to steal a caress whenever he could.
Surprisingly, she remembered he was temple trained, and asked if his old teacher was still alive; sadly, Tidus found out he had passed on some 2 years ago, but he was able to find his memorial marker on the grounds & spent an hour mediating there one day. He also found out that the ancient had left a master work, an illustrated text of the art of love with his notes & beautiful penned illustrations. To pass the time, Tidus borrowed the book out of the library; in a hidden alcove with a stone seat & a few smuggled pillows, he relaxed with Tarja in the warm afternoons, pulling her to sit between his legs, so he could look over her shoulder & look at the book, which he bade her to read aloud today: " …The eighteenth manner is called ' love's fusion'. While the woman is lying on her right side, extend yourself on your left side; your left leg remains extended, and you raise your right one till it is up to her flank, when you lay her upper leg upon your side. Thus the uppermost leg serves the woman as a support for her back. After having introduced your member you move as you please, and she responds to your action as she pleases…."[xviii] Blushing furiously she stops again. Tidus, shaking with silent laughter, firmly instructs: "Go on."
"…Next, bring your face forward until upon hers, whispering blandishments & begin to kiss her to bring pleasure. The kiss is assumed to be an integral part of congress. The best kiss is the one impressed with gentle pressure & insertion of the tongue into mouth with swift swallow's movements, darting about the cavity to produce the sweet honey of saliva. This maneuver will give the woman a trembling sensation, which will run all through her body, and is more intoxicating than wine drink to excess[xix]…Oh. My. You mean...I can't believe…you can actually get in this position?" Cheeks rosy with embarrassment mixed with secret curiosity, Tarja turned the book sideways, trying to figure out the graphic illustration the instructor had delicately drawn & tinted with rich watercolors.
"You think that's hard? Read the 25^th position – the seducer; I had to do that one night during a pleasure-party to start the evening off for everybody; you know, a kura-mei! Yevon's balls, don't tell me we neglected that part of your training, too, washiita! – It's like two partners get up in front of everyone & perform, emphasis on perform, mind you, to get an erotic evening started for guests."
Tarja nearly went pop-eyed in shock, which made Tidus laugh out loud; he saw under her coolly indifferent exterior, she was more innocent of sexual relations than she cared to admit; he decided her culture on Earth must have been puritanical; it seemed she knew of cultures that had pleasure, but must not have grown up in one. His confidence took another bound when he realized there was something he could teach his little eagle. This is going to be fun, he thought, as he reached around her & turned the page & began to read aloud the next sutra on positions; his voice dropped into a silky contralto, & to tease her further, he spoke in the first degree of intimacy, as if he & she were actually going through the steps, substituting 'I' & 'you' for the more formal distant tense of 'man' & 'woman'. He was gratified when she tried to be still, but gave in to the images his voice was creating in her mind & slowly relaxed against him, her head finally lying back against his shoulder. His voice lowered into a rasp, then the book slid off her lap as she lost herself in a fantasy of what he was whispering in her ear.
The thump of the book on the floor jarred her back into reality with a flooding sense of embarrassment; she looked down at the obvious signs of excitement her body had betrayed her with, & sat upright, intending to bolt before he was put off by her apparent arousal. Tidus calmly hooked a leg & pulled her back down with a solid thump against him, amused at the pretty girl shyly aroused so highly by his voice – which was exactly what he'd hoped for. Confident, he pulled her face to his, & wickedly whispered: "Lesson's not over yet -" before boldly slipping a hand below the cloth of her gi, then down, plunging two fingers into warm wetness, then slowly pulling out, leaving her body frustrated from wanting more.
He leaned back, folded his arms, shook his hair out & asked: "How do you feel right now?"

"Only you would have the nerve to tease me, and in a temple at that! I'm so…so..." "Ashamed? Embarrassed?" He cut in; "This is a way to show love to the divine, Tarja. Why shouldn't I do it in a temple? I have no shame in loving Yevon through you, why should you?" His eyes of cobalt blue softened as he saw his lesson hit home, and he gently caressed her face in the untouchable caress as he finished with: "I see there is something I can teach you here, washiita. Then one day, you too, will feel so much love in you for Yevon, that you can show it to the whole world & not be ashamed." I did. And it's what kept me from sinking into despair & killing myself through shame. I refused to be ashamed at being a consort; the purity of love kept me alive. One day, you'll understand. And that is the day I will wed you in the sight of Yevon.
Some nights, the littlest thing became erotic: The brush of his hair as it swung forward when his head bent to kiss her while her head laid in his lap, looking at the stars in the evening sky; a glimpse of high pectorals filling out his Gi, golden brown skin begging to be touched; the way his voice hung onto a certain word to subtly emphasize a point. Puzzled at the shift in her viewpoint, she found herself sitting in front of the giant Yevon late at night or in the morning after morning salutations.
A monk sat by her & before she knew it, she was drawn into conversation about the subject that plagued her mind: She felt everything around her was slowly becoming fraught with eroticism & she was afraid she was losing herself. Gentle-voiced, the monk peacefully disagreed: "No! That is a tremendous step to becoming closer to Yevon! To see the potential of love in everything shows me you are aware that the god is present everywhere around you; I myself was an unbeliever, a sculptor who saw his own work was soulless one day & began to search for a way to bring Yevon into my work; it is here that I learned everything I know about love, & now like a mad man I worship the divine in everything – the rocks, the trees, even the wind that blows. As for losing yourself, be not afraid; is it the really a sign that you are becoming closer to what you truly are; the old habits you no longer need will be discarded & one day you will see that Yevon is no longer in your heart, but you have been living in the heart of Yevon all along."
Comforted, Tarja began to relax & go with the flow instead of fighting the lessons in love Tidus was teaching her; and soon she saw how much Tidus wanted to keep her in his world & how much effort he was putting into teaching her everything he knew about love.
The Moon festival would begin in three days, & the maester of the temple informed Tidus over tea that the high court had pursued justice, given it in Bevelle, & had come to its decision. His father would see him after the rituals at the temple were completed & formally appoint him a position in the imperial guard. He felt the evil of the Shih Tan had been rooted out & he wanted his son closer to him. His Tarja was welcome at court, provided Maester Seymour would release her from his appointment of personal weapon & that she take instruction in the teachings of Yevon. A minor appointment as the first ambassador of Earth would be considered, once the court had decided Earth should be legally recognized as a separate species.
Tidus had half hoped he would be sent out of the kingdom, so he could simply play more, but he wasn't about to turn down a position from his father & realized he would be in his element, pursuing a manly career, yet not far from the refinements of life & the intrigues at court his quick mind could play in. He formally thanked the maester for his news & went to find Tarja, so they could finally get away from the confines of the temple walls. He couldn't wait to walk free without having to watch his back; he looked forward to seeing maester Seymour, whom thoughtfully left him funds & letters of marque at the imperial treasury.
As there was no way he could get his personal effects sent in time for the festival, he dragged Tarja to Tailor's Row after the visit to the treasury & had themselves outfitted in an outfit of court-worthy gi & hakama. It took him the threat of no kisses before she'd try on a court kimono, but eventually she gave in to his wish, & chose a simple grey one with a black Obi for the evenings. The shop displayed a lovely black on black embroidered Kimono with a white beaded Obi in a honeycomb design in a corner; he caught her glance at the display & hold still a few seconds longer than usual, remembering the O-Bon. He caught the tailor's glance & gave a quick jerk of head, adding the outfit to the bundle that would be sent later that day, leaving them free to walk about unburdened by purchases. He was glad she remembered her first kimono dressing & hoped for a repeat of the erotic moment to occur.
They finished the day out with a visit to a waterfront restaurant, a common sight in any city. It was more of a hole in the wall than restaurant, but the fish was first class & the staff genuinely welcoming. Many imperial servants stopped here for food after duties, which meant the tiny bar with its 13 tables was open at all hours & usually crowded. It felt good to be sitting there, watching the flow of customers, eating slivers of raw or broiled fish & laughing at the chef's jokes with everyone else, & laughing harder at the young bloods trying to keep up with salty sailors cup for cup.
The morning of the moon festival brought maester Seymour; resplendent in his purple robes & mountain jade, he welcomed Tidus & Tarja with fatherly blessings & embraces. He asked to meet them tomorrow, after the morning devotion, so they could catch up with other on events & pass on some documents to release the estate from the stasis legale at the treasury. Regretfully, Tidus had to part from his adored companion, as she was not released from her duties as personal weapon to Seymour & went to pay his respects to the imperial family, now about to arrive at the docks in the imperial barges.
That evening, the temple crowded with visitors & dignitaries, as it was one of the bigger festivals of the year, & there would be fireworks later, rows of imposing racks as tall as a man & long as a banquet table set all around the edges of the courtyard. Tarja stood by Seymour, but kept a wary eye on proceedings, looking for patterns of movement or anything out of the ordinary; she wasn't quite convinced the imperial guard & the temple guard had thought of everything. She kept losing Tidus in the crowd around the emperor & it disconcerted her; she was too used to being able to pick his blonde head out from a sea of jet. She idly began to count blondes & noticed there were quite a group near the imperial pavilion; then she felt odd, & whirled around again to count them; puzzled, she wondered why part of her was saying 'this-is-wrong'; she tried to pick out Tidus again & mentally began to place the blonde heads on a map in her head; then alarms went off as she recognized that they were perfectly spaced apart in a semicircle around the pavilion. But why?
She looked at each person; they were'nt dressed alike, but each carried a walking staff or cane, and about half of them carried an offering basket of eggs or oranges, symbols of the fertile new moon. Her heart beat began to elevate as she saw the one closest to her move from one table to another, a step closer; now mentally frantic, she looked at the others & saw they'd all crept forward. She tried to get Seymour's attention, but he waved her off, deep in conversation with the temple maester's assistant.
Desperate, she blindly began to push her way through the crowd looking for Tidus: he was on the third tier of the raised dais; two long minutes more elapsed as the blonde head kept turned from her; then upon turning, he warmed & smiled across the distance, then rapidly frowned as she tried to use the secret language of love from the third chapter to warn him – she snapped her fan in the direction of the closest blonde with a staff & basket of oranges then pointed it at her eye, then touched her tanto: See him- I see danger! He was dangerously still for a moment, then with an intense burning look he nodded & disappeared.
Now ignoring good manners, she practically ran back to the maester, who was now pointedly looking at her, frowning slightly at the breach of protocol, which she'd never broken before; his pale blue eyes widened as the first pops of fireworks went off & at the sight of a ball of flame erupting behind her, blooming dangerously close to the royal pavilion; the crowd panicked & became a sea of screaming sheep stampeding for the safety of the massive stone walls of the temple; but the circle of blonde heads stayed. She screamed at Seymour to get to the palace, get the rest of the guard, shoved him thru the temple doors & blindly, viciously began to push her way back to the pavilion; she gained leverage after leaping up on the little tables & leaping her way from one to another. The first blonde head was so intent on readying his next bomb, he never saw her leaping from the table, katana drawn; his arm was cut clear off & he watched it topple in fascination until a second arc of the katana took his head off.
That's MY girl, Tidus proudly thought as he saw her, as he stood shoulder to shoulder, surrounding the imperial family as they slowly backed a group to a hidden door in the temple wall, some 100 yards distant. They then ran back insanely ducking the barrage of small bombs to get the next group.
They all gaped at the sight of the near empty great courtyard, some tables in flame, divots of dirt exposed with bricks flying every time a bomb went off; it was a clever attack & was succeeding; they'd never had anyone think of explosives, and now, they paid dearly for it; two of the guard went down trying to take out a blond head, leaving only a group of 6 to surround the emperor, who refused to leave until the rest of his family were safe. They grimly settled in & waited, praying for backup as his oldest guard vainly tried to insist the son of heaven move; through the noise, his voice could be heard roaring, "Be damned man! I'll not run like a basting cleft! Get my family out!" Tidus screamed over his shoulder: "Yes! Stay in sight! As long as they think you're takeable, they'll forget the rest!"
The backup was coming, they all heard the palace gongs beating the alarm; but it was precious minutes away. Another backup came in the form of a little black eagle, advancing by leaps & bounds in the smoking mess; gaping, they saw her go after each blonde figure with a deadly accuracy & take out, one, two, more capering figures with mops of blonde hair; then four came at her en masse, drawing swords from the sticks & canes in a deadly rondori, this time unevenly weighted, while the remaining nine continued to throw bombs & advance on the little group left on the pavilion dais.
They went white & silent, thinking they would see the end of her, but somehow, amidst the storm of slashing swords & screaming attacks, she became as the eye in a hurricane; an overhand strike was gracefully blocked with a wrist of steel & then a body twisted in the air in an arc, thrown into another figure, going down in a tumble into the bricks; she dropped in the infamous dojo move, spun to her left & hacked through the legs of the second blonde; the remaining one leapt upon her, only to be met with her blade; they went at each other like two cats, blades spitting & sparking with the force of the blows; he kicked at her, only to have the leg caught & she upended him, slamming him into the ground, & shoved at the leg until a satisfying scream was heard at the joint breaking. She swiftly thrust into his throat & in a swirl of steel flipped the blade and thrust backward into the belly of the first attacker without even a glance backwards, whom had recovered enough to try again.
She began to run forward, but exhausted & sweating blood from bruises & nicks, she knew she was not able to handle them all; in a black humor she wished she had a grenade or a rocket launcher from Earth, then shocked, she remembered it was a night of fireworks – they were surrounded by rockets & bombs in racks! She started to scream at the little knot of guards surrounding the son of heaven, but some of the words were drowned by the blasts:"----the fire---s to --- ---blow—! Goddammit! BLOW THEM! –ight FIRE –it FIRE! TIDUSSS! BLOW THEM!"
Tidus jerked his head around at his name & puzzled he stared for a second; then he understood! He yelled into the knot: "Two men! Pull the rack of fireworks up & blow THEM up! Fight fire with fire!" Two men broke free, ran behind the little group of steel katanas & started to drag the 20 foot rack forward, joints popping & muscles straining; when it was by the long banquet table, they dumped it over on its side on the table; the knot of men all ducked below the table behind them & rolled, then everyone that had flints struck them, lighting fuses; then they all ran like banshees for the secret door, shoving the emperor through & seeing him falling into the door, slammed it shut & crouched as the first fireworks blew.
The night was lit up into a hellish scene, as 9 blonde headed men blew into bits by beautiful chrysanthemums, flying mortars, &sparkling skyrockets; in the quiet before the second volley of fireworks went off, they cheered & they saw their little eagle jumping up & down in a fierce joy; then horrified they saw a throwing dagger explode from the left & land in her right chest; she looked down, startled at the bloom of blood on her gi; then white, she looked across the distance at the source, another half dozen men in assassins garb appearing from nowhere; she then stared across the distance at the remaining imperial guards & Tidus with a breathless intensity; suddenly she spun & threw the katana with all her might at them, spinning through flame & smoke; they cried as one, thinking she'd gone mad, then shocked, they saw a last blonde head fall to their left, his basket of bombs spilling & rolling towards them. They threw themselves flat as the final volley of fireworks exploded in tandem with the bombs. Then the imperial guards came swarming in, chasing the assassins through the temple grounds & streets beyond, filling the silence with all too real noise.
The courtyard was a royal mess, but the stones of the temple walls had held; the emperor & his family were alive, & people slowly came out to put out fires, look for any wounded, & gather the bodies of those who had died. The imperial guards that Seymour dispatched from the palace cordoned off the courtyard, not even letting Tidus in; after nearly taking a guard's head off, he suddenly turned away with dead eyes, as he knew in his heart his Tarja was gone. Unconsolable, he sat in the temple, exhausted, sooty &scraped, ignoring anyone who tried to talk reason into him, to the point of drawing his sword in the temple. Lord Seymour & his closest friend quietly let themselves in near dawn & had the guard shut the doors.
Akiro Jecht Ishii, emperor, defender of Yevon, lion of the throne & the son of heaven knelt down, lit incense sticks for Tarja & after a silence, he began to speak:" Ah. My son, my beloved son of my beloved…. I don't even know to begin to comfort you. Your little eagle is gone, just as my Titania, your mother, is gone to me. And it has left such a hole in my life, I wonder how I can enjoy anything, even after all these years. At least I had the comfort of a child; you do not; it was as if your Tarja came in a dream, & left upon waking. I have no words to offer in comfort. That which you loved & that made you into the man you are today is gone. I grieve, as I do for all wild things killed untimely. Come, my heart of my heart. Come home to me. Teach an old man how to remember to grieve. Teach me how to comfort you. "
Tidus spoke around the lump in his throat, his voice a husk in the quiet of the temple: "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages…" He turned to his father & even more quietly said: "She taught me that." In the quiet, an old man gripped a young man's hand & let him weep as long as he needed.
In the dark, two guards carefully lifted a figure in a black hakama, ensuring the dagger stayed lodged in the chest & bore it away. A faint string of curses in Spirean, then in English followed them as they stole away to the docks.
Dawn came on little cat feet again, and with it, many changes in the temple. More dawns crept in on little grey feet, but trainees were not caught off guard anymore. Certain of the guard were honored; defensive & offensive methods using fireworks were immediately put into practice in the imperial guardhouse. People were moved to houses of healing; memorial services for lives lost were conducted; the empress Yu-Shinta was ordered into seclusion as the inquiry found her culpable in the assassination attempt; and a bastard son was inducted into the imperial guard & ordered to wed before the mid-summer O-Bon festival.
The ceremony started in the golden afternoon, beams slicing into the temple hall striking the golden image of Yevon in the pose of 'the dreaming one' & illuminating the altar; the temple maester turned to Tidus & murmured "Someone has whispered in Yevon's ear today – how fortunate we are for a day like today, yes?" Tidus tersely nodded, choosing to remain silent. He was faintly bored with the ceremony of the wedding, & for the 1,000^th time wondered why he allowed them all to convince him to wed. The one woman he truly was matched to was gone, anything else was imperial politics.
He sighed & hoped they were right, in time he would get used to it, & besides, it pleased the son of heaven to ensure Tidus' happiness in his household. Riiiiight. Probably some dried up old virgin or a cousin with a face like a horse & brains to match. He had caught the grins that Seymour & his father had exchanged, thinking they were unseen; they had forgotten there was a mirror in the room, & as he turned, they were deadly solemn, but a faint air of amusement clung to the scene. After he left, the son of heaven turned to Seymour & said: "Yevon's balls, you know you're old when you see your son behaving like yourself, 2 decades removed! ….are you sure she's well enough to go through with this?"
"Oh, yes. They didn't know. Her world makes it a habit to wear armor under clothing; the dagger only went in to the muscle. Even if she hadn’t, she would have survived. She's human; her heart is on the left, not the right. That was good thinking, by the way. It made the bugs swarm out of the woodwork, didn't it?"
The bride appeared at the entrance, veiled to the floor & in a simple nun's high court kimono, leaning on Maester Seymour's strong arm, which was magnificently displayed in a high court kimono of deep red, carefully draped in Guado style off his shoulders, showing an admirable physique; gold chains twinkled & his house sigil glittered on his chest, set with rare sun's eye diamonds & rubies like drops of blood.
Tidus walked up the aisle opposite Seymour, the bride between them, eyes focused on the altar. The bride on Seymour's arm moved slowly, as if reluctant; halfway up everyone could see she was in pain, but held her head high with regal stubbornness, insistent on reaching the altar. Soft cries & gasps began to rise up & follow her as she traversed the aisle step by painful step; suddenly people, especially the members of the guard were bowing, kneeling & murmurs of 'lady' 'blessed of heaven' & other soft cries of devotion started to echo in the temple dome. Puzzled, Tidus began to look at the pair next to him; Seymour was suave, his face bland, but a gleam in his cool blue eyes bespoke of a subtle amusement at Tidus' puzzled face. Tidus still could not make out the woman's face under the floor length veil, & impatient, he turned & faced the giant Dreaming One & folded his hands in prayer to his chest.
Finally the woman was standing by his side, still as a stone statue. The temple Maester began his ritual prayers & a half turn of the clock later he announced them wedded. Tidus held his hand forward to have his hand wrapped with the traditional tasseled white rope & when the bride's hand was wrapped & placed in his, he was startled to feel calluses. Oh great…a Yevonite nun; some love life we're going to have he thought; then she moved slightly, the robe suddenly swirling with her movement & dropping down light as a feather over his left boot. He raised his foot to toss the hateful garment of the now-hateful nun off him, & a flash of gold made him look again: slowly, he realized the robe was exquisitely embroidered gold on heavy black silk, a design of mountains with astanga trees peeping out from stylized clouds; not a nun's garment, but a subtle deception. In a moment of mental flashback, he remembered this very robe adorning a personal weapon running gracefully to the edge of a tatami, dropping & gliding like a swan across the floor to him as he sat dumbfounded , falling in love with eyes the exact shade of blue grey mountain jade.
They had turned to face the temple & bowed as customary; then he began to tremble, half incredulous, half fearful that he was mistaken, that the thought of her alive & next to him was a madness that he was imagining. It was now time to raise the heavy veil, & he looked down again; yes, it WAS the same kimono in his memory – he could just make out the two eagles on the right shoulder; the bride was the height he remembered, but he could not make out her face or hair color; he slowly drew off the veil at first, then, impatient with his fears, he snapped the remaining length away with a flip of his wrist.
Stunned, he took in her beautiful face, untouched by war, the eyes two limpid pools of blue grey mercury sparkling with anticipation; Tidus felt himself moved in ways undefined & with a soundless cry, he fell upon his Tarja & clasped her close, for once unmindful of court manners. He had his heart, his eagle, his….love.
Those attending the wedding of Tidus & Tarja were half shocked & half charmed by the obvious passion shown at the traditional unveiling of the bride, but then, what did all royal bastards exist for?
All though the golden afternoon during the wedding feast, Tidus was aware of her every move; when she drank tea from a priceless set of mountain jade cups with him to start the feast, he could feel the weight of the cup in her hand; he could taste the sweetness of the melon slice she bit into; the feel of the white silk under kimono sliding against the back of her neck.
Tarja kept looking at Tidus & it seemed every time she did, she fell in love all over again; it was like she was almost at the perfect balance between heaven & earth. Almost. All she had do was sit patiently & wait for the evening; then she could be alone with her haughty, patrician, golden, & utterly adored object of her affection.
Once alone, though, they both became shy; then slowly they circled each other, until courage stepped in & gently led hands into a gentle handclasp. Suddenly Tidus swept her into his arms & burst out: "Oh! You cruel, cruel traitor! I thought you were dead! How could you leave me? I saw the blade go in, oh Yevon, I swear I saw you die! Touch me - kiss me - I need to know you are real – " his cries were silenced as she fell upon his lips like a waterfall, hands on his golden head pulling him closer; she broke free of his mouth & kissed his brow, his cheeks, eyelids, everywhere her lips could reach until he was breathless & started to laugh: "Ok, enough! I believe! You ARE real!"
Cocking an eyebrow, he grasps her hands & pulls them off him, and gently chides her: "Can't I be a proper bridegroom for you tonight? After all, I've been trained in the art of love as well as war since age 13…."
"-And you know damned well you're going to get your way tonight." She finishes for him.
I was dying inside before I caught you on that cliff side & now, I am alive. And I've never had so much fun in all my life; he thinks with a wicked glint in his eye, slowly pulling at his Obi. Now, let me tame you to my hand only, little eagle. I didn't mention what all that training was for, did I?

Chapter Eleven
"The Art of War is self-explanatory"[xx]
Thankfully, no untouchable caresses occurred that night. He let the obi fall, the over kimono & under kimono fell open, allowing a glimpse of his well modeled torso, the ripple of abdominal muscles & golden bronzed skin against the white silk a visual excitement to the eye. "Do you like what you see?" he asked, his voice dropping into the husky contralto she remembered when he started to coax her to come to him on the cliff side. Slowly, she nodded, half expecting him to start the soft murmur that bewitched her that first day; instead, he lazily shrugged the kimono off, letting the heavy white silk slide like a caress off his shoulders, highlighting the changes in his body , now raised to a level of lean fitness that left her gaping open mouthed; he stepped closer & lowered his gilt head to kiss, exploring her mouth with a leisured sensuality that relaxed her mental guard enough to let his hands teasingly press her closer to his well-muscled body.
The warm brown hands deftly, subtly, slipped the golden obi off, then the light silk of her kimonos drifted down to the floor, until the whole of her body was unclothed to his gaze. His eyes grew dark at damages to her slim tanned body: the healing scar on the left side of the chest; there were still fading bruises on her body from the gauntlet she had run to get to the imperial pavilion. Instead of pretending to ignore the marks of war, he celebrated them, they were badges of victory against the death that had been planned for them both; he deliberately leaned further down & kissed the pink scar tissue first, then softly let further kisses be placed on any bruises he saw on her body, until he was kneeling at her feet.
Then slyly, as he kissed a fading black & blue bruise on her knee, he pulled his hakama loose one-handed & rose, naked as dawn before her, his hands keeping contact, sliding up her legs, her slim hips, her narrow waist, the tender sides of her torso; then with a surprising amount of strength, he lifted her, until he could position himself between her legs, now dangling a good six inches off the floor. He recklessly thrust into her, & lowered his arms to clasp her hips. It was a masterful move, not the delicate exploration of a boy; he knew at this moment he was all man, & he was going to show her what it really meant to be his. The thrust was meant to awaken every nerve in Tarja's body; the ancient who told of the technique to him explained that it would either finish a woman off to the point of passing out, or bring her to a heavenly level of excitement. Selfishly, passionately, he wanted her full attention; her shocked face, now blushing, had two wide eyes looking straight at him. Nobody else in the world existed, now. He softly commanded: "Wrap those long legs around me, unless you want to fall, woman." He wickedly leaned back an inch or two to demonstrate his point; in a second, she had obeyed his request, locking her heels together behind the sacral dimples on his bronzed back.
He could lay her down right here, in the sitting room, on the extravagant fur laid down as a carpet & take his pleasure; but his memory balked, reminding him that he did promise himself a bed, instead of bare dirt by a river. The bed was some twenty steps distant, just visible behind a curtain of glass beads, & he cocked an eyebrow, then began to move to the bed; the beads slid sensuously over their bare skin. Tarja's senses went from overwhelmed to a complete overload when he walked forward & kneeled on the low bed, still throbbing deep inside her. She couldn't shake the feeling of complete helplessness; everything was out of control; all senses were being engaged to their fullest, so she began to feel unreal; a kernel of icy fear formed in her mind & the eyelids fluttered down, breaking the eye contact.
Tidus stopped dead after those sensitive eyelids closed over her eyes; wrapping one hand around her waist, he raised the other & grasped her jaw firmly; she resisted & he pulled her face back up, none too gently; & shook it until she opened her eyes; the irids were dilated, he saw her fear. Relentlessly, powerfully, he ground out: "Look at me. Look. At. Me." the last three words were pounded out, each word punctuation in itself. "I will never, ever, hurt you – even if you should beg me to do it. Scream, cry, order me to do it standing on my head, but never, ever, will I hurt you. Anything, anything is acceptable in this bed between us, except that. Do you understand me?" His thoughts continued: Yes, my little eagle, the feelings are intense, like the tsunami, & you will go under more than once until you learn to swim with it. But don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. And one day, you might find out that this art of love runs both ways, you can be the one to command me, drown me in the same tsunami…I'll teach you that, but tonight…tonight is all mine.
The ice kernel of fear melted in Tarja's mind; she simply ceased to struggle & gave herself over to Tidus, whom, much to his old instructor's pride, immediately picked up where he had left off.
Dawn awoke him with a soft caress of rose hued light through the beaded curtain & he stretched luxuriously; he couldn't remember a time when his mind & body had never seemed more relaxed & at one with each other. Tarja was still sleeping, a drift of white hiding her face from the light. A few feathers floated up at her regular exhalations, which unexpectedly brought a bubble of humor welling up inside. With a grin, he flopped back on the bed, silently laughing as the feathers from a ripped pillow flew up & lazily floated down over them. He had fallen asleep to serious thoughts last night, after the tsunami of ecstasy had crashed on Tarja; he had wondered how he would feel tomorrow after all this emotional expression of pent-up passion had taken place. He never expected to wake up laughing! Life always finds a way to take you on unexpected turns, he wryly thought.
Suddenly feeling energetic, he bounced off the bed, dove into the shower & ran into the dawn to join the morning exercises, the tai'chi'chuan to clear the mind & prepare the body for the work of the day ahead. Guards & temple priests both smiled behind his back, seeing the glow of energy Tidus wore this morning. Rarely did they see a new mate arrive before noon the day after the wedding night; they nodded & winked at each other in a conspiracy of ribald wedding humor, spoken just within earshot to tease the young guard. "Ahhh, what it must be, to have a bride so eager all one has to do is lay back & enjoy the ride!" "Perhaps he was lucky, she passed out with too much wine before she had the chance break his back – I am sure that one would be a ride wild as horses from the steppes!" "I am amazed, he must have worn armor in the wedding nest, I see no claw marks from that little eagle!"
Tidus broke down & laughed, sweating from the vigorous moves; the imperial guard had nary a fat roll to show, even the senior guards with iron grey in their hair; and they intended to keep it that way. The imperial guard took their duties with all seriousness; in fact, they were all secretly pleased Tidus had the self discipline to rise & practice, despite the excuse of love being handy. They knew his priorities were set well like theirs & now knew he was a good fit. A friendly hand threw him a towel with further jibes: "Better shower again before tonight's duty at the feast! We don't want those hawk-eyed ladies smelling fresh carrion to pick on!" "Ay, they'll strip this golden morsel in minutes & his own little eagle will have naught but bones to pick tonight!"
The rest of the day was spent with other training; horse, bow & arrow, sword, explosives, a nasty defense method only known as kryk, nicknamed after the sound of a breaking neck; then reporting & records; the guard seemed hell bent at times to keep him laughing until his sides hurt, as the story of his early rise after the wedding night was passed on from practice to practice. So before he knew it, he was dressed in the formal guard's hakama & striding rapidly down the great hallway with his mates into a formal entertaining room on the 3^rd level of the bastion. It was a lovely space, less opulent than the formal rooms for visiting dignitaries; but it was designed with exquisite taste & exuded a warmth the other rooms did not.
The imperial family swept in & all bowed, except the guards, to watch for assassins. When seated, the guard then bowed to the son of heaven & his progeny. He wanted to acknowledge his son tonight; his wish to polish Tidus had been taken seriously, and he was proud of the way his son had changed into the man he had hoped for – His father's talent, but sharpened with his mother's blood, quick wit & beauty – which he still missed sorely, even after a decade. He now decided to show favor, but obliquely, keeping the balance in his court, so none felt anything but the sun of his presence.
After the meal was underway, the main course had passed & they were cleansing their palates for the next three courses, he leaned to the maester Seymour & started a conversation: "So, I hear your collection of weapons is beginning to outshine mine, maester; how is this so? You always have this way of making me feel like a country upstart ever since we were in temple training! I hear you now have one so sharp it would cut Yevon himself, should he come close enough! I must see, so I may be protected from Yevon on a bad day! " The clever man paused long enough for maester to smoothly rise to his sally; Seymour gently insisted there were no finer weapons than the son of heaven's & gently teasing, stated he would set a new fashion, all the armorers would be demanding gold instead of black metal for weapons. It was an oblique reference to Tidus' golden head, the only one in the guard; all others were black or iron grey.
The emperor was greatly amused & wittily replied with a double entendre: "why shouldn't the son of heaven have something of the sun of heaven around him occasionally?", not only slyly referring to Tidus' status as his son, but also to the gold of his hair which was a symbol of the sun in his court, & used plentifully, decorating armor, walls, & even courtesans; then he demanded someone bring the maester's weapon forward so he may inspect it himself.
The foot guards at the son of heaven's chair bowed & ran out the door; two more seamlessly moved into take their place, one of them Tidus, to his left.
The guards ran back in & bowed when reached ten steps from the chair, then faced the doors in the clear space in the middle of the floor. A slim figure in black delicately ran in to the edge of the tatami, dropped to her knees & gracefully walked on her knees until she was ten steps away from the kneeling guards. A proper bow, head almost to mat, finished Tarja's entrance & she waited with calm, letting the emperor peruse her for as long as he liked. He chuckled & said, "So this is the personal weapon of Maester Seymour! My, I wonder that Seymour does not already fancy himself emperor, from the amount of respect she gives upon entering a room to the man! Again, my court is now disgraceful, I feel like we are in the country & I sit upon a bale of hay instead of the throne of heaven– even my weapons are disrespectful to me compared to this!" Changing tone in an instant, he now sharply rang out: "But pretty manners do not make for a sharp weapon – come, show us how sharp you are, weapon. "
At that, the two kneeling foot guards sprang into action, commencing an attack on her, as if she were an assassin approaching the throne. She did not move from kneeling, even when the first was almost upon her; she brought her scabbard up over her head & blocked his blow to hers, then with bringing her hands together at the middle of the scabbard, swiftly turned it, knocking the wind out of him as he flipped over the scabbard, neatly brought down as if a clothesline had been strung across his path. The second was upon her then & she simply dove in between his legs, sliding on the mat behind him, then unfolded into second position; she no longer had her katana & scabbard; the guard ran at her for a what he thought was a simple strike; she raised her arm like a sword, wrist meeting wrist like two hilts locking, stepped sideways mere inches & deftly redirected his force, avoiding the blow; she grasped his wrist & spun him about her until the arm was torqued into a staff of pain digging into his shoulder nerves, but then, a clever man, he escaped by becoming the falling reed, hoping to throw her over him & then pin her; but somehow, as she was thrown, right shoulder leading, she seemed to wriggle in the air like a fish & started to land left handed, her arm tightening into a hard curve to absorb the impact; the katana & scabbard was underneath, she grabbed it as she completed her roll, spun & met the man's killing strike to the body with a block.
For two and a half more minutes the guards attempted to break her, and they failed, as she moved in the style she knew, fighting on knees, redirecting force, a light foot against a table edge to stop & turn abruptly, an even lighter leap on an attacker's brawny thigh to gain leverage to bring him down on the floor.
The emperor sharply clapped & the three warriors relaxed, sweating & mussed, bowing in respect to each other for the most adrenaline filled 3 minutes of their lives. All three bowed again to the emperor, and all positions were resumed as before.
"I see we have things to learn in this country court! Perhaps you will lend this weapon for a while, Seymour?
"The weapon is a gift, if you desire so, Son of the House of Rising Suns!"
"Eh? I accept, provided you send a goodly supply of bandages with her! My thanks for being so forbearing with my court's needs, Maester - shall we drink to your health now, yes?"
As the court broke into its polite applause at the witty exchange between two old friends, holding out their cups to be filled for the toast, the emperor quietly remarked as if to himself, yet audible enough for his golden haired bastard son guardian to hear: "Perhaps this lovely weapon will learn something of Spirea while serving the Court of Heaven; perhaps this memory of Earth will pale when given a loving home to fly to." A delicate pause occurred as the son of heaven sipped his wine, then with dry humor continued: "Perhaps a beloved son of the imperial house can be useful & become a shield to pair with so fine a weapon; he has allowed himself to be forged into good metal, as I have seen." My precious son of my beloved, perhaps you &she together can free us all from Yu-Shinta…but that is your fight, not mine. But tonight you have my blessing…and my love.
Walking forward to claim his right to escort his hand-tamed eagle of Earth to a seat, Tidus turns back & grins, a glimpse of the old clever warlord before him in his young face & charmingly flirts with the royal temper:
"We are just men & she a woman. Women & eagles will do as they choose; we men can only grow accustomed to it!"
And suddenly the greying iron fist of a man laughs heartily, thinking: "Ah, royal bastards! What else do they exist for? Ah. Yes. Love, & Revenge.

[1] Stairs To the Roof, Tennessee Williams

[i] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[ii] The Art of War, SunTzu

[iii] Kohai C. Schramm, 3 Rivers Aikido

[iv] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[v] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[vi] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[vii] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[viii] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[ix] The Secret Shih Tan, Graham Masterson

[x] The Secret Shih Tan, Graham Masterson

[xi] Nightbird, Stevie Nicks; album Enchanted (paraphrased & butchered)

[xii] Sable on Blond, Stevie Nicks; album Wild Heart (paraphrased & butchered)

[xiii] No Spoken Word, Stevie Nicks; album Rock a Little

[xiv] Sable on Blond, Stevie Nicks; album Wild Heart (paraphrased & butchered)

[xv] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[xvi] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[xvii] The Art of War, Sun Tzu

[xviii] The Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight, Muḥammad ibn Muḥammad al-Nafzawi

[xix] The Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight, Muḥammad ibn Muḥammad al-Nafzawi

[xx] The Art of War, Sun Tzu
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The Art Of Love & War