Living in Darkness

Chapter 10
Difficult Choices

How could he have forgotten what Sephiroth had said to him on that day of death and destruction? It was inconceivable, but somehow he had washed it away from his memories, only to have it come back at him like a punch to the gut.

Sephiroth, what do you want?

What I want, Cloud...is to sail the darkness of the cosmos with this planet as my vessel. Just as my mother did long ago. Then one day we'll find a new planet, and on it's soil we'll create a shining future.

Cloud looked up from his chair that he had slouched onto, watching Sephiroth pace back and forth before him, his smile twisted in a gruesome display of cruel enjoyment. Unbeknown to Cloud, Sephiroth had been diligently searching for another world to conquer, biding his time until he knew the right time to act, and it was soon approaching. 'Again....He's going to do it again.'

"Why?" Cloud asked with a shout, his boldness causing Sephiroth to take halt his energetic pacing. His head tilted as if he were confused by the question. Apparently the inquiry was amusing, because he laughed deeply, circling Cloud's chair with slow steps. "What's so funny?" he barked. His lover stopped behind his chair, his laughter cutting off to leave an eerie silence. Cloud growled, clenching his jaw when his head was wrenched back, Sephiroth's grip on his hair preventing him from pulling away.

"Did you think I would forget about my destiny? This is what I was created for," he hissed, getting nose to nose with Cloud, their eyes glaring at each other, neither relenting. The blonde's jaw tightened to the point of making his teeth ache, but he stayed silent, breathing rhythmically through his nose with his building anger. "But, I shouldn't be surprised with your lack of understanding," Sephiroth spat, pushing Cloud's head away as he let his grip loose, cursing softly under his breath when he stepped away from him with apparent disgust.

"I'm leaving," Cloud said without emotion, getting up from his seat, only getting a few steps toward the library door before he felt Sephiroth's strong arms wrap around his middle possessively.

"And where are you going to go where I can't find you?" he growled with low seduction, tightening his hold when Cloud tried to break free. "Stop struggling."

The order was low with compassion, and the sound of it only made his anger flare. 'How can this man have any caring within him when all he wanted to do was kill and destroy?' He stilled his movements, and even in his fury, he lay his head back against his lovers shoulder with a heavy sigh. 'Why does it feel so good to be in his arms?'

"Do you have to do this? Why can't you be happy with what you already have?" Cloud asked, his voice trembling with strong emotion that was impossible to hide.

"I want to share this with you, Cloud. Can you not understand that?"

"You want me to help you destroy more lives. How can you expect me to agree with this?" Cloud sneered, twisting with all his strength, finally pulling free of Sephiroth's embrace. He spun, backing away from his lover with his hand on the hilt of his blade to give him warning.

"Are you going to fight me, Cloud?" He unsheathed Masamune, pointing it at Cloud's chest. The blonde stood frozen, keeping his hand on the hilt, uncertainty keeping him from pulling his own weapon. The tension was thick like a blanket, both men unnaturally still as they kept their eyes on each other, waiting for the other to react. What should have been so simple, was now more difficult than Cloud could comprehend. He'd fought Sephiroth many times in his life, always with no hesitation, but now he could not even brandish his sword at the man.

"This is too much," Cloud finally spoke. Sephiroth blinked, his sword moving away only slightly. "Give me a few days alone to think, and when I come back, you'll have my answer."

"Very well," Sephiroth said, sheathing his blade as quickly as it had come out. "Two days. Go where you will to think, then I expect you to come back to me, whatever your answer may be." Cloud gave a short not, and turned to go. "Cloud."

"Yes?" He turned back to be pulled into a kiss that made him melt into Sephiroth's arms. He didn't fight it, reveling in the tenderness of it. 'God help me, I do love him.' The admission to himself was only going to make his unknown decision that much harder. He touched the silky texture of his silver hair, wondering if it would be the last time. When Sephiroth's lips pulled from his, Cloud took a shaky breath, closing his eyes tightly as his lover pulled him closer into a comforting hug.

"I'll see you in a few days," Sephiroth whispered against his ear, letting Cloud go with a expression of regret. 'Does he love me in return, or am I just another one of his conquests?' He turned to leave with that question in his mind, exiting the mansion without looking back. He was miles away before he let himself relax, skidding the Fenrir to a stop to take a few deep breaths to clear his mind. It was a while before he started the engine again, turning the bike in the direction of Edge. He could think of no place better to mull over his difficult choices.

~*~*~*~*~*

Cloud stepped through the door of 7th Heaven, even after he had thought to never come here again. The experience was much less emotional this time, the sadness he had felt before only a glimmer now. He climbed the stairs to look at the destruction he had left behind the last time and frowned at the sight of the mess with a shake of his head. 'Tifa would have had a major fit if she had ever seen this.' He could only vaguely remember his rampage of mournful, tormented fury when he had devastated his old bedroom.

He wandered around upstairs for a while, even going into Tifa's room, sitting on her bed to think. Her room was neat and tidy, except for the layers of dust that had gathered all over the furniture. It was another reminder that she was dead, gone with all the others. He could cry for her no more, his tears were all dried up. All his life he had lost loved ones, again and again. It was like a damn curse that he couldn't dispel.

He left after a time, giving the bar one last look before he drove away. He wasn't really sure where he wanted to go, so he merely rode for a while through the dead city, clearing his mind of all thoughts. Night was approaching, but there was no need for him to find shelter for sleep. Sephiroth had taken care of that pesky problem. Cloud actually appreciated the gift more after he had gotten used to it. The freedom to just do what you wanted, and not have to stop for the tedious activities of mortals was indeed a benefit.

He didn't want to think about his decision he had to make, but he knew he would have to contemplate it eventually. He only had a few days to decide what he wanted, and he knew that if he tried to stay away longer that Sephiroth would come for him. When it came down to it, his green eyed lover would probably enjoy hunting him down again. From experience he knew the games turned Sephiroth on, and even if he didn't want to admit it, it turned him on as well. He smirked a little as he rode, but it soon turned into a troubled frown. 'What am I going to do? Why does this have to keep getting more complicated?'

His leisurely ride took him to the front of the church and he climbed off the Fenrir, glancing at the damage his bike had caused when it had hit the sacred building. When he had come back here months before to retrieve the bike, he had been disgusted with himself for letting it slam into the church, even though it hadn't been his fault. Sephiroth, yet again. The man had caused so much heartache within him, yet he loved the bastard. How in the hell was this possible? He knew whatever happened, he would continue to question himself about the fact, but his love would not diminish either way, he was sure of it.

He again took in the damage that was caused from his blade, the fight still fresh in his mind like it had only happened just yesterday. He knelt down, absently sifting through the splintered wood of the pew with a blank expression, and he felt....nothing. He stood, walking around the crumbling shell of a building, looking down at the dead flowers that had nearly turned into dust. "Nothing left to live," he muttered, and finally started to put his mind on the situation at hand.

Sephiroth wanted to take another world as his own, killing every being, drawing all energy from the planet until it was nothing more than an empty shell like this one. And it wouldn't stop there. 'He will keep going, for eternity, unless someone were strong enough to stop him....' He let that thought trail off, stepping through the chapel with a heavy heart.

~*~*~*~*~*

Sephiroth sat stone still in the library, his eyes closed as he concentrated his energy. In his minds eyes he flew through the skies of the new world that he would soon take. His lips curved into a sinister smile as he watched the occupants of the planet, thinking them no more than insects to be squashed beneath his boot. Mother would be so proud. He knew this without a doubt.

The screams would be exquisite, the torment delicious. They would all suffer beyond belief, and he would bask in it all the while with his lover by his side. Would Cloud be with him to share in the power? His eyes opened, and he was back in the library, his hands gripping the armrests so hard that the wood was beginning to crack and splinter. His grip loosened as he sat back in the chair, tapping his fingers in thought.

He was tempted to seek Cloud out and see what he was thinking, but out of deep respect he held back. He would let Cloud have his time alone to think. If Cloud chose to go with him and accept the power, it would make the devastation that much sweeter and rewarding. If not, then he would have to put Cloud back into the position of prisoner. He would not give up his lover either way, even if he had to keep him against his will.

The thought of killing Cloud was not an option, he couldn't do it, not now, not ever. Simple lust for the blonde had turned into more, and he wasn't going to lie to himself about it. He knew Cloud felt the same, but he was still struggling with his emotions. It was a trait Cloud had that was truly stimulating to Sephiroth. Everything about his lover was stimulating for that matter. The way he venomously fought during sparring sessions, to the heat of his passion when they enjoyed each others bodies. No other could make him feel this strong emotion of...love?

He stood from the chair, stepping out of the library to walk through the mansion with a confident stride. He wondered where Cloud was at the moment and was again tempted to seek his lover, maybe even persuade him to come back now. He chuckled deeply, pushing his selfish thoughts away. He could wait, and he would make himself do so. Until then, he would make ready for his attack on the unsuspecting planet he had his eyes on. Whether Cloud helped him or not remained to be seen, but either way, he would not be stopped.