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The Little Guy	By : TokiMirage Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Cloud/Sephiroth Views: 2374 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I own no FFVII, I do own my own creative mind, and If I actually made money off this I would be rich. But I don't. So I starve.

Chapter List
- 10
- 11
- 12
The Little Guy
. , . , .
Chapter Eleven:
“Wait a minute, what?”
Sephiroth continued to stare at him, expression as blank as paper. “I have requisitioned you as my new secretary. You’ll begin in the morning, so dress yourself in something more presentable than the custodial clothing you usually wear.”
Cloud just continued to stare, sitting on the metal table as Hojo flitted about him taking blood and muttering under his breath. The man’s proximity alone was enough to make him twitchy, which didn’t help his current predicament understanding exactly what had happened to him while he was ‘unconscious’.
“How…?” He couldn’t put it into words. How had he gotten from a Turk torture cell to here? Not to mention his mind was spinning under an assault of memories that weren’t his own. When AVALANCHE had found him all those years ago, he’d been messed up from Zack’s death and their little trip after falling into the lifestream, but the memories of Zack’s that had burned themselves into his mind had never been so clear before. Instead they had been foggy images, thoughts, voices he had never met himself but knew somehow. Now it was as though a barrier had been torn down and then patched up with bits of cardboard and tape. He kept remembering things in detail that he knew he’d never experienced himself, like lessons with a man, a First Class called Angeal who had taught Zack everything he knew about honour and the sword. And yet for some reason the memory of what had happened to that man was still muddied and indistinct.
What the hell had happened to him?
“You’ll have to be more specific, Strife. I cannot read your mind,” Sephiroth said with a faint smirk, eyes lightening with a flicker of amusement.
Cloud brought his hands up to his face and scrubbed at his tired eyes, mind sorting through his most recent memories. He remembered waking from a nightmare of green, seeing Hojo… trying to kill the scientist… Then Sephiroth… well, as much as he hated to admit it, that was one fucking hot kiss. The mixture of the warmth, leather, sword oil, the strength in his tall frame… Then Reno, that little shit. When he got his hands on him next the rat was going to find himself in some agonizing positions involving rope and needles.
Lots of needles.
And then he remembered… It was bizarre. When Sephiroth had demanded he report in that tone, it was like a different part of his brain had just suddenly snapped to attention and responded, and things were so blurred now he couldn’t tell where he began and Zack ended anymore. Had that been him? Had it been the remnants of Zack’s memories influencing him? It had to have been. He’d never been real military, in spite of the fact that he had apparently been a Shinra Trooper before he fell into Hojo’s hands. How come the mako had made him revert to some sort of ‘Zack personality’ that he didn’t even remember, and yet his own memories still remained a mystery after all these years?
Fuck. He didn’t even know how much Sephiroth knew, now. Had he given something important away? The Turks apparently thought he was some sort of Wutaian spy, and even though the General had poked multiple holes in their logic, he had no doubt he’d be watched closely. If he didn’t pass the SOLDIER exam in less than four months, he could probably kiss his ass goodbye. He’d be Turk food.
Shit.
“Why am I your secretary?” he asked, running a hand through his hair when Hojo finally stopped drawing his blood and buggered off to a corner of his lab for a bit.
Sephiroth tilted his head slightly, watching Cloud with an intensity that made the blond twitch. “It seemed the simplest solution to both our problems.”
Cloud resisted the urge to rip out his hair. “But what about Cynthia?”
Green eyes flickered to the side and his face pinched slightly with tension and annoyance. “She suffered a breakdown and was no longer fit to work.”
The blond frowned. “Breakdown? What kind? How?”
The General raised a silver eyebrow slightly. “I was not aware that you cared. Were you friends then?”
A snort. “She was a bitch, and useless. Of course we weren’t friends. But why, after all these years did you fire her? Why not sooner? Why not later?”
Crossing his arms across his chest, Sephiroth scowled. “She was coming to work impaired by drugs. I gave her two days to pull it together, but then she… ate. All. Of. My. Chocolate. And she was drinking my coffee.”
Cloud stared in disbelief at the man for a long, drawn out moment before he snickered. Then grinned. Then started laughing his ass off as he doubled over and nearly fell off the examination table. It was just too funny. Zack had totally been right when he’d called Sephiroth a Chocolate Tyrant.
“What is so amusing?”
Wiping away a tear, Cloud pulled himself back onto the table properly and tried to suppress his snickers. “You fired her because she ate your stash. What’s not funny about that?”
The General scowled. “Nothing is funny about that.”
The blond snorted. “Maybe to you. Suck it up, princess, and go buy yourself some more damned chocolate. I’m sure you’ve just been waiting for an excuse to splurge your ridiculous paycheque in a specialty chocolate store or something. As for your coffee…” Cloud tapped his chin thoughtfully. He remembered his own experience drinking that coffee. When he’d bought it for Sephiroth and prepared it, it hadn’t occurred to him that he was unenhanced at the time. Nor had it occurred to him that since this body of his had never consumed it before, his system wasn’t used to the chemical cocktail. While Sephiroth had apologized for giving Cloud a flashback, he now realized that it probably hadn’t helped that the coffee had unbalanced his brain chemistry, so the thought of Cynthia drinking it regularly… The mixture of opiates and caffeine had probably done wonders for her bipolarity.
Yikes.
“And you decided that I would be a suitable replacement?” he asked incredulously. Sephiroth nodded. “Why the hell would you think that? I’ve never been a secretary in my whole life.”
The General gave him a look. Cloud wasn’t that versed in what it meant, but a little voice in the back of his head that sounded too close to Zack for comfort was telling him that it was that constipated look Sephiroth got on his face when he was trying to figure out a particularly stubborn puzzle.
It didn’t put him at ease.
“You are competent and not entirely stupid. I’m sure you’ll be able to figure it out,” Sephiroth said simply, giving a small, unconcerned shrug.
Cloud gaped.
. , . , .
Cloud stared at the store before him with no little amount of trepidation. He had to do it. He didn’t want to, but he had no choice. No other would do. It had come to this.
He shuddered and stepped through the doorway with a grimace, waiting for something to fall on his head or the world to collapse or Sephiroth to go crazy and blow up the block.
Nothing.
“Hello, sir! How can I help you today?”
Shit, no! He was being accosted already!! His eyes flickered around, looking for defensible positions. “I was just… uh… well, you see, I’ve gotten a new job, and I need to look… presentable.”
Distraction!
The enemy tilted his head to the side with a thoughtful hum, eyeing him up and down as though he were a piece of meat or a prized chocobo at a show. “I’m sure we can find something suitable for you, if you’ll come this way?”
Gah! Damnit! Cloud pasted a smile on his face and inched to the side. “Well, I was just planning on grabbing something and going, if you know what I mean.”
The attendant’s eyes widened in horror at the very thought. “What? I can hardly let you walk out of here with something that doesn’t fit or do you justice, sir. Please, come this way, it won’t take long. We at Tarren & Ling guarantee that every customer leave satisfied and looking their best. Please,” he said, motioning Cloud farther into the death trap with a bright smile and an extended arm.
Too late. He was doomed.
Inching farther into the store, he noted all the exits as he saw them through the racks of men’s clothing. The attendant pulled seemingly random pieces of clothing off the racks as they went, humming happily under his breath. Before Cloud could ask if he was on drugs or not, he found himself shoved into a changing room with a pair of pants and a blue shirt.
“If you’ll just try these on first. I’m assuming you need a proper work wardrobe for at least five days? We do our best at Tarren & Ling to pick the clothing that best suits both our customers and their budget,” he chirped with a bright smile.
Cloud closed the curtain in his face. How much money did he have on him again? “I have 500 gil. That’s it,” he called out through the curtain.
“Very good, sir. Do you require full suits or are dress shirts, pants, and shoes suitable?”
Cloud shuddered at the very thought of wearing a suit. “Shirts, pants, and a pair of shoes should be fine.” He looked down at the clothes already in his hands and grimaced.
This was going to be the worst hour of his life.
. , . , .
“ ‘That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes,’ ” Cloud mocked under his breath as he left the store an hour and a half later, 500 gil poorer. “ ‘Oh no, you simply can’t wear that shade of gray, it dulls the colour of your hair.’ ‘The cut of those pants really brings out the tone in your legs. Do you work out?’ ‘You should wear black more often, it really brings out your masculine side.’ Fucking psychotic little devil-worshiper, how dare he ask for my PHS number and stare at my ass for over an hour.”
A Midgar passerby stared at him for a moment before quickly looking away and hurrying his pace.
Cloud’s mighty scowl deepened as he paid for his train ticket back to Shinra with the meagre funds he had left until his next paycheque. He wouldn’t be able to pay for much beyond the essentials this week. Or maybe even the next. Not to mention he still had no idea how he was going to get a vacation to go home and see his mother, who according to the Turks was ill with something. Perhaps he should hack into the system and see if his file listed his mother’s contact number for emergencies. They usually did that, didn’t they?
He blinked and paused in front of the train. Wait. He could ask Sephiroth now, couldn’t he? The General surely had access to his file. How else had he known that Cloud had changed jobs when Zack had hounded him about it what seemed like ages ago.
Though, he’d have to be clever about how to get the General to look it up in the first place. Maybe he could claim that he’d forgotten the long distance extension that he needed to phone from Midgar? That was reasonable, right?
“Hey, are you going to get in or not? You’re holding up the line.”
Cloud turned around to look at the man standing behind him and raised an eyebrow. “I’m moving,” he muttered before going inside and sitting down on one of the seats, putting his bag of clothes on the floor between his feet.
The guy who had spoken stared at him, sitting down directly across from him. “Do you have a sister?”
Cloud looked up from the bag he’d been staring accusingly at and frowned. “What?”
The man laughed, adjusting the cuffs of his suit nervously. “Well, you remind me of this girl I met the other night, wearing a maid’s uniform. She told me she’d just recently started working, and you look almost identical except that… well, you’re a man. Is she your sister?”
The blond stared. An image flashed across his mind, the face of a kind man and a similar gesture of nervousness. Familiarity screamed at him.
The man looked concerned. “I leant her some money for the train, but I wasn’t sure if she got home safe. I hope she’s alright and she found her wallet?”
Memories flooded his mind of a train ride and a dress and shoes that had made his feet ache after so much running in them. Well, that explained why his feet hurt so much today. “Uh… Yeah, she… got back safe.”
Safe enough. Sephiroth safe, even. He didn’t know why the General was now showing enough interest in him to not only cover his ass with the Turks, but also offer him another crack at SOLDIER. A crack that he didn’t want, and was now forced to do if he didn’t want to end up doped up in another interrogation room.
The man smiled, and he looked different in Cloud’s eyes now than he had in his memory. In the memory he had been all kindness and warmth, soft tones of voice. Now he was just another man in a train with stress lines around his eyes and a nervous twitch. He recognized that the looks the man had sent his way had been anything but innocent, in spite of the fact that he’d backed off once he realized ‘Cloud’ had a ‘boyfriend.’
At least the Zack part of his mind wasn’t so naïve that he’d gone home with the guy. That would have been a disaster of, well, disastrous proportions.
“That’s a relief,” the man said, eyeing Cloud in a way that had the blond’s spine straightening in wariness. “Have you been in Midgar for long?” Cloud frowned slightly. The man quickly continued, “I mean, you have a slight accent that your sister doesn’t, and I figured maybe you’re from farther away.”
Cloud crossed his arms over his chest and gave the man a cool, assessing look. “Yes, I’m not from Midgar.”
The train came to a stop and a loud crowd of people entered their car. The man got up from his seat and moved to sit next to Cloud with a smile. “Where are you from?” he asked, looking at Cloud with those eyes of his.
Blue eyes narrowed. “None of your business.”
The man looked taken aback. “Oh.” He shifted in his seat, fiddling with the cuffs of his suit again. “Well, what would you rather talk about?” he asked with a smile, already farther in Cloud’s space than the blond wanted. “I see you went shopping at Tarren & Ling. Looking for a new uniform for your own job?”
Cloud stared him down, taking in the interested look on the man’s face, coupled with his close proximity and the way a leg touched his own. Was this man coming on to him as well? “Look,” he said, firming his tone and his expression. “You look like a fairly successful man, with your expensive clothes, watch, and that band of gold on your ring finger. Leave me alone.”
The man looked taken aback, but Cloud could see the glint of anger curdling behind his eyes. “W-what? I never meant-“ He put his hand on Cloud’s leg, and the blond pulled out his dagger and poked it into the cloth and flesh separating it from the man’s liver. Brown eyes widened, and the hand on his leg tensed in alarm.
Cloud smirked and applied a hair more pressure, cutting a hole through the fabric. “I have no interest in fucking you. I’m not sure if it’s just pretty young things that you go looking for, but I’d advise you to curb your tastes in the direction of the wife you’re happily married to and leave me and my… sister, out of it.”
The train attendant announced the arrival of his stop and he grabbed his bag, easily slipping the knife back into his pocket with none the wiser except for the man staring at him with wide, surprised eyes.
“I wasn’t trying to-“
Cloud didn’t let the flicker of guilt affect him as he stared the man down. He’d rather trust his – and Zack’s – instincts than let logic try to butt its way into this one. “Goodbye,” he said simply, walking out of the train and keeping his eyes on the man as he did so. He didn’t relax until the train closed and started speeding away once more.
Sometimes it was just better to be safer than sorry. The last thing he wanted to be concerned with at this venture was a stalker. No one in Midgar was that friendly.
. , . , .
“You’re late.”
Cloud looked up from his new desk and raised an eyebrow at the General standing so imperiously above him. He’d gone with the blue shirt and black dress pants today, having changed quickly in his rooms before coming in to work.
“Yeah, well, you didn’t tell me when I had to start yesterday before Hojo booted us out of his lab and you took off. All you said was to get something decent to wear, so I that’s what I did.” He picked at his new dress shirt and raised an eyebrow.
The man placed a hand on his desk and leaned towards him, a long arm reaching around to the back of him before grabbing something and giving a sharp tug. He pulled his arm away but didn’t remove himself from Cloud’s space, eyeing the tag that Cloud had apparently forgotten to take off his new shirt.
He raised an eyebrow, the ends of his hair curling on the surface of the desk. The little Zack voice in the back of his mind labelled it a ‘you are amusing because of your stupidity’ expression before it disappeared once more. “I see. I require the records of the SOLDIER missions regarding monster extermination for the last five years, excluding the last seven months. They have yet to be copied to the online database.”
Cloud stared. “And where the hell do you expect me to find those?”
Green eyes narrowed in annoyance at his disrespect. He had to admit the memories he had of Zack were far better at reading the General’s bewildering array of expressions than Cloud was. “In the records room. The ID you found on your desk this morning will give you access. It’s located on the 33^rd floor.”
Cloud really didn’t get Shinra’s bizarre floor plan. “Don’t get all pissy with me. You’re the one who wanted me as a secretary, and no one’s been here to train me yet, either. You can’t expect me to pull this shit out of my ass. Give me a break. I’d rather be washing floors again.”
“It is too late for that, you’ve already been transferred out of that department,” the General said simply, and Cloud stared at him. “I will have someone sent up to train you, if you are so incapable of figuring it out on your own.”
How did the man manage to be so insulting without even a twitch or change in the inflection of his voice?
Sephiroth walked back to his office. “The flashing red button on your desk is the intercom. Next time, press it so I don’t have to get up to give you orders.”
The door closed behind him with a snap.
Cloud stared at his desk and resisted the urge to stab the ‘intercom’ with his knife, which he’d cleverly hid at the small of his back.
It was going to be a fucking long day.
. , . , .
“And this is how you get onto the Shinra database. It’s pretty easy once you get used to it.”
Cloud wanted to bash his head against the nearest wall as the blond bimbo continued.
“Of course, I don’t see why the great Sephiroth has hired you to be his secretary. You have no credentials whatsoever. Did you sleep your way into this company?”
Cloud resisted the urge to run her through with his dagger.
“Oh, and this is the way the filing system in the records room works. But don’t worry, you’ll never need to actually go there. I swear they keep that room just to bury all the paperwork they don’t want to deal with.”
Well obviously she wasn’t as secretarial as she thought she was if she’d never had to visit ‘the records room’ before.
“Did you know the woman before you has worked for this company for thirteen years? She was supposedly the best secretary Shinra had to offer the poor General. She’s started as a flunky in the Urban Development department before becoming his secretary. We all know that her father is the head of general staff at Shinra, though, and he probably talked her way into her cushy little seat with a smile. Not all of us have had it so easy. Not like you, magically getting the job with not even one iota of training. Do you even know how to file properly?”
Cloud repeated the mantra ‘I will not kill infantile secretarial hoes’ under his breath as he pasted a smile on his face and shook his head.
“You don’t even know that much? It’s alphabetical according to area of relevance, of course!”
And she went on, and on, and on about the art of the paper trail and the best way to fill out a form for requesting more office supplies because they were always running out of those, and-
If he didn’t kill her by the end of the day, he was taking himself out for celebratory drinks.
. , . , .
A few hours later he found himself freed from the secretarial ho and accosted by an impatient Sephiroth demanding that he bring him those files immediately after making him a ‘damned cup of coffee’.
Cloud almost spat in it, but that would be insulting to the coffee.
And so he found himself knocking on Sephiroth’s door before impatiently letting himself in.
He stared at the war-zone with wide eyes. “What the hell? Did a bomb go off in here?”
Sephiroth looked up from the maze of neatly piled paper and held his hand out for the coffee. Cloud navigated his way through the very obvious ‘path’ through the room and deposited the coffee in Sephiroth’s hands. The General sipped it and let out a content sigh.
Cloud eyed the man with a frown, for the first time noticing the slight shadows under green eyes and the way his hands clenched repeatedly around the coffee cup. “Is this that project for the President you were talking about a while ago?”
Sephiroth opened his eyes and gave him a ‘what are you doing still here’ look. “Yes. And I need those files.”
Cloud hummed thoughtfully before nodding and leaving the office, careful not to knock over any paperwork.
Poor bastard.
. , . , .
“Do you know the proper protocol for removing files from the records room?”
Cloud stared at the woman glaring at him from behind her desk. “No.”
She rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Everything is filed in triplicate. If there is only one file left, you cannot take it from the room. All files must be registered under your name with a reason cited from a staff member of high enough clearance for the files in question.”
Cloud crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the condescending tone in her voice. Bitch. “I’ve come on behalf of The General, Sephiroth, to retrieve files concerning SOLDIER missions for the extermination of monsters for the past five years, excluding the last seven months, for his esteemed viewing pleasure.”
When her eyes widened and a doe-eyed look crossed her face, he knew he’d found another fangirl.
Thankfully, with her suddenly useful self helping him retrieve what he needed, he now had a cart full of boxes filled with files. She asked him to mention her speedy help to the General, and he smiled and nodded, fully intending to ignore her existence once he was free of this cesspool of paperwork.
Swiping his card in the reader next to the elevator, he pressed the ‘up’ button and prepared himself for the wait. To his surprise and fortune, he only had to wait a few seconds before the doors opened.
To his misfortune, Reno was in the elevator.
Pushing the cart inside, he ignored the Turk’s existence and pressed the number for the 61^st floor.
“Oh come on, you can’t expect to ignore me forever you know.”
Cloud stared resolutely forward.
“It was orders, Blondie!” the redhead whined unhappily.
Cloud wondered if the elevator was going slow on purpose or if it was just him.
Reno moved closer and leaned forward until his face was right in Cloud’s line of vision. “Cloud. I’m sorry.”
The blond raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, his face otherwise blank as a canvas.
“Look, what do I have to do, take you out to dinner? Buy you flowers? Kill your ex-boyfriend? What?”
Cloud said nothing.
“I want to see you again,” the redhead said softly, slate eyes soulful with just the right amount of guilt and kicked-puppy. “Talk to me, Cloud.”
Cloud stared him down for a long moment before breaking his silence. “There will be no ‘again’, Reno. You made sure of that.”
The Turk frowned. “Why can’t you get past this? It was orders, Cloud. Look, do I have to promise not to do it again? Sephiroth’s laid his claim on you, and the Turks aren’t going to do anything, so why can’t I see you?”
Cloud stared him down, eyes narrowed and cold. “You betrayed me once, and nothing you can say, promise, or do will change that fact. I don’t sleep with people I don’t trust.”
Reno scowled. “Then why did you sleep with me the first time?”
Cloud couldn’t tell him that he’d known him in a life that no longer existed. That he’d eventually turn into a decent man in a strange love triangle between Rude and Tseng. Couldn’t tell him that he’d admitted to Cloud one night, drunk at Seventh Heaven, that he’d never wanted to kill all those people when he’d dropped the plate. But it had been orders.
That familiarity was no longer enough for Cloud to feel justified in explaining away an arrangement with this man, let alone feel comfortable doing so.

“You reminded me of someone and something that is long gone,” he said simply, frankly, saying everything and nothing at the same time.
The Turk’s eyes darkened but glinted with interest. “Who?”
Cloud gave him a look. “He’s long gone and we never fucked. Why don’t you turn your attentions to your partner, or your boss? Surely a relationship with another Turk is easier than a civilian who doesn’t understand that ‘orders’ bullshit.”
Reno looked shocked. “Rude?! Tseng?! You’re kidding right? They’re both straighter than this fucking building!”
Cloud smirked. “This building is bent at the tip. So why not give it a shot? I’m sure you could turn either of them gay with enough work.”
The redhead gaped at him just as the doors opened, having arrived at the 61^st floor. Cloud patted Reno on the shoulder and gave him a grave expression. “I’m sure they won’t kill you and hide the body. You’re too good at giving head.”
He left the elevator with a smirk.
. , . , .
Cloud’s intercom flashed red, and the blond pressed the button with a suppressed groan. What the hell did the devil want now?
“Strife. Come to my office.”
He groaned and didn’t bother answering. Instead, he just got up and walked over to the door, pushing it open with a scowl. The maze of paperwork had gotten messier, and the clipboard Sephiroth was writing things down on even thicker.
The General himself currently sat at his desk, staring down at aforementioned clipboard with a very dark expression on his face. Almost murderous, even.
And a little voice in his head told him that Sephiroth had almost reached his limit.
“You asked for me?” he finally said when it seemed like the silver-haired man wasn’t going to say anything.
Sephiroth looked up from the paperwork and gave him a weary look. “I… need your help.”
Cloud stared in surprise. “I thought this was confidential whatsits that I’m not supposed to know anything about?”
The General grunted. “Fuck the President.” Cloud’s eyes widened. “You don’t need to know anything about the whys as long as you can read reports and write up statistics. Can you count, then?” he asked snidely.
Cloud bristled. “I can count up to ten,” he said sarcastically, “is that enough for your statistics?”
Green eyes narrowed. He gave Cloud one of his dirtiest looks before jerking his head at a stack of papers. “Start with that pile.” He pulled a sheet off his clipboard and Cloud manoeuvred his way through the stacks to grab it when it was held out to him. “That is the format. Think you can handle it?”
The blond raised an eyebrow. “However will I manage. My brain will melt out from between my ears,” he said flatly, handing the sheet back and grabbing a blank piece of paper to start writing on.
Time to get cracking.
He picked up the folder on top of the stack.
“No, the other one.”
His eyes narrowed and he put it down, reaching for another folder.
“Are you blind? The tall one.”
His eyebrow twitched. Sephiroth in a bad mood was a real dick. No wonder he tried to blow up the Planet.
He finally found the right pile and started reading through them, shacking himself up in a small hole of paperwork near the wall. He managed to get through a handful of reports before his office phone rang.
Manoeuvring his way out of the maze of brain-killing ordnance, he snagged the phone on its sixth and final ring. “Hello, General Sephiroth’s office.”
“Hey Cynthia babe- wait. Who is this?”
Cloud frowned. Was that…? “The General’s new secretary.”
“…Spiky?”
Cloud let out a small sigh. “Hi, Zack.”
“HAHAHA! Cynthia got fired? Bout damned time! I’ve been telling him to get rid of her for ages, but nooo his last secretary was even more useless and the one before that smelled funny and the one before that wouldn’t stop hitting on him of course and the one before that was too gay for even Sephiroth to put up with and-“
“Zack.”
“Huh? What was that Spiky?”
“What are you calling for?”
“Oh. Well, I wanted to see if Seph is still alive, you know, since he’s been drowning himself in work for the past forever instead of drowning himself in a bottle like I’ve been trying to get him to do because seriously, drinking yourself to death is better than working yourself to death and he does that waaay too much already so I figured, you know, a healthier vice might just be what the doctored ordered. So, how is he?”
Cloud actually removed the phone from his ear for a moment and stared at it as though it could give him some insight into the inner workings of Zack logic.
“Well…” he thought about it for a second. “He’s still drowning. But, he’s asked for my help now, which I’m not so sure is a good or bad thing.”
“WHAT? He’s asked you for HELP? The General asked you to help him with his work? Sephy actually asked for help?!?”
Cloud stared at his blank computer screen. “Why can’t you get over this?”
“B-because it’s- that- how- this NEVER happens! He’s the biggest perfectionist I’ve ever met and a work-a-holic and no matter how many time’s I’ve told him to stop working or let me help him with anything he’s always like ‘Lieutenant, I am more than capable of handling this small inconvenience. Lieutenant, you would leave my papers covered in doodles and stick men playing tricks with dogs. Lieutenant, if you ask me one more time I will tell all the secretaries that I’ve turned you gay. I’m sure they’d love to start your own fan club.’”
Cloud couldn’t help himself, he burst out laughing just imagining the expression on Sephiroth’s face of utter seriousness.
“This is nothing to laugh at, Spiky! I mean it! Stop being so- so- mean!”
Cloud snorted and pounded at the top of his desk. “I can’t believe he said that to you! That’s hilarious! Wait a minute, he’s gay? I thought he was like, anti-sexual or something. Monosexual? Asexual? How do you call someone so uninterested in sex that giving someone else a blowjob right in front of them doesn’t even get a blink? Has he ever been laid?”

But wait. There had been that one kiss… nah, that was totally calculated to break Cloud out of his psychosis. That didn’t even count.
“You do realize that you might as well have called him asexual to his face? He can hear everything you say. And- wait a minute- you were giving someone HEAD??”
Cloud raised an eyebrow, even though Zack couldn’t see him, and chose to ignore the last question. “He probably heard everything you said, too.”
“Nah. I asked him one time. He said he couldn’t hear what I said on the phone and stop trying to distract me and answer the question!”
The blond snorted. When he’d been as enhanced as Sephiroth, he had heard the transvestite four houses down entertaining. And entertaining as in, having an hour dinner of boring conversation followed by four hours of beating her company’s corporate ass with floggers, paddles, you name it, she’d done it. And that basement suite had had sound proofing.
“You’re totally full of shit, Zack. It would have been a tactical error on his part to admit that he can hear every single thing you say into that receiver. He’s not that stupid.”
“…”
Cloud grinned. “What, you thought he didn’t hear any of that? The difference between you and me is, I don’t give a shit. If he were insulted by my existence, he either woulda fired me or knifed me by now. You… he probably likes to watch you squirm.”
Zack spluttered on the other end of the line, and Cloud grinned, imagining the look on his face.
“Spiky! When did you become so- so- mean?”
“So I grew a pair. You already asked that question. Anyway, Sephiroth can handle this shit the President’s throwing at him, I have no doubt of that. If he starts having a psychotic break down I’ll just break out the emergency kit.”
“…the what? You have Sephiroth Emergency Kit?”
“Yep.”
“What’s in it?”
“Now, that would be telling.” In truth, Cloud had just had the brains to go buy some chocolate bars from a vending machine a few dozen floors down. Since Cynthia had eaten all of Sephiroth’s chocolate, he knew it was his first line of defence if things got ugly. Too much coffee at this point, and he’d probably go psychotic.
He hoped Sephiroth was rationing that shit…
“No, don’t tell me you’re going to give Sephiroth HEAD?!?”
Cloud snorted coffee out of his nose and coughed. “What?! What gave you that idea?”
“Well, he needs to get laid and how do I know your emergency kit isn’t full of condoms, huh?! You need to be more careful Spiky! There are so many old and ugly men out there that could take advantage of your adorable, cute little-“
“Strife,” Sephiroth’s voice barked, surprising Cloud into flinching and nearly falling out of his chair as he dropped the phone. “Tell Zack to stop wasting time with questions concerning my sexuality. And I am neither old nor ugly. In addition, Strife, I have no qualms with drawing a knife on you. And if there is chocolate in that emergency kit, you will surrender it at once.”
Cloud stared at the Silver General’s closed door with trepidation for a long moment. “I think we’re officially busted, Zack. Hurry up and report before I hang up on you.”
Zack grumbled. “Fine. Things are looking good over here. I’ll be heading back in a few days, I think. Just got a couple things to clean up. And Seph! If you’re this cranky when I get back then I’m taking drastic measures!”
Click.
Cloud listened to the dial tone for a moment before shaking his head and getting back to work.
. , . , .
Cloud banged his head against the wall to keep himself awake. In reality, he was kind of hoping it would knock him out so he wouldn’t have to suffer this agony anymore.
“Do you think we could just assassinate the President? I think that would take less effort at this point,” he grumbled, scrubbing at his eyes.
Sephiroth grunted. “I already contemplated that. Multiple times. I now have 62 feasible plans of action to complete the mission without reprisal.”
Cloud pulled his hands away from his face and blinked. “Why the fuck aren’t we implementing them, then?”
The General was still scowling. He’d been scowling for the past few hours, actually. He’d scowled his way through multiple pots of coffee, Cloud’s entire emergency kit, the remaining contents of all of Shinra’s vending machines, and a veritable feast of Wutaian take out.
“Because. I’m not allowed to.”
Cloud snorted. Didn’t stop him when he’d gone psychotic. Although, perhaps this was a good sign that proved he was still sane. “I’m totally going to slip laxatives into his morning coffee every day for a week.”
Sephiroth snorted in amusement, but didn’t chastise him. Cloud took that as a good sign. “So, I figure if we keep going until tomorrow morning, oh wait, it’s already tomorrow morning. I figure if we keep going until tonight, we should get this thing done. With no distractions, no sleep… we’d probably go crazy. What’s your take on things?”
Sephiroth flipped another page. “I never want to read another report in my life,” he muttered, almost slurring.
Cloud frowned in concern. “You alright there, Seph? You’re sounding pretty out of it.”
The General looked up and raised an eyebrow over glowing green eyes. His pupils were pretty dilated. That was bad, right? “You don’t sound much better yourself, Strife.”
Cloud’s frown deepened. “What’s with this ‘Strife’ crap, anyway?”
“Hm?”
The General was paying too much attention to the file. His eyes weren’t moving, though. Cloud pulled it out of his hands and gently slapped his cheek. “Wakey wakey. Why you keep callin’ me Strife this, Strife that. Reminds me of…” he wracked his memory. “I dunno what it reminds me of right now, but you’ve called me Cloud b’fore. So whasup with the Strifeness?”
Sephiroth stared at him. “I believe you are impaired, Strife. Perhaps it’s time you got some sleep. The couch is quite comfortable, or so Zack continues to tell me.”
“I need sleep? I need sleep? When was the last time you slept, huh? You’re not a tank, y’know. Why don’t you call us in sick or something and we lock down the office for the day, sleep, and order more Wutaian take out. But let’s not stay here, mk? I wanna real bed tonight.” His hand, which had been patting the General’s cheek, began to gently caress the man’s surprisingly soft and warm skin. He wasn’t getting a fever, was he? Or did Sephiroth just have a naturally higher temperature than other people? When Cloud had been enhanced, he’d run a bit hot too.
Sephiroth was staring at him with glowing, gorgeous green eyes. “You are impaired, Strife.”
The blond grunted. “So’re you. Been starin’ at that report for th’ past fifteen minutes, not gettin’ nowhere.” Sephiroth had really nice skin. And his eyes…
A long-fingered hand came up and grasped his own, gently pulling it away from the General’s face. “I… perhaps you are right. Can you get back to your room?”
Cloud blinked. “Uh…” Where did he live again? Seventh Heaven… no, the General was here. He lived in number… number…
Sephiroth abruptly stood up, somehow manoeuvring them so he could wrap an arm around Cloud’s waist. “Alright.” He picked up the phone and dialled a single number. It rang a few times before voice mail picked up. “Lazard. This is Sephiroth. I have been awake for several days working to complete a project for the President. As I am not fit to work tomorrow… ah, today, that is, I am taking a sick day. I don’t want my sleep interrupted except for emergencies. You can use your judgement for anything else.” He hung up without another word and led Cloud through the maze of paperwork.
The blond blinked as Sephiroth masterfully manoeuvred them through the door. “Uh, I can walk you know.”
The General raised an eyebrow and abruptly let go. “Very well. Walk.”
Cloud glared at the condescending look on the General’s face and made his way towards the elevator. When the world abruptly tilted sideways, he groaned and prepared himself to hit the ground.
Steady arms wrapped themselves around him. “Yes. I can see you can walk.”
Cloud scowled at the floor and grumbled. “What’re y’gon do, walk me to ma room?”
The General snorted and punched the ‘down’ button on the elevator. “I don’t know where you’re rooming, and somehow I doubt you do right now either. I do however know the location of my own residence.”
Cloud hummed.
. , . , .
The bike ride to Sephiroth’s place was pretty wicked, to say the least. Enhanced reflexes, an engine fit to race, and a severe desire to get some Planet-damned sleep turned what should have been a fifteen minute ride home into a five-minute adrenaline rush and a half.
Sephiroth turned off the engine and kicked out the stand, gently settling the bike in his garage like he’d probably done a million times before. Cloud blearily blinked his eyes when the warm back he was pressed against shifted and a hand nudged him.
“Hm?”
Green eyes glowed in the dim morning light. “We’re here.”
“Hm.” Cloud closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against a warm back. “Don’ wan’ move.”
A breathy chuckle. “Wouldn’t you rather be in a bed?”
The blond perked up a bit at the word ‘bed’. “Oh. Um…” It was a tough decision.
Thankfully, Sephiroth made it for him and just pulled his arms from around the taller man’s waist before picking him up and carrying him through the door. The world spun, and Cloud groaned. He’d drunk too much of that coffee. His brain felt like Tifa’s homemade stew churning around in his head.
That shit gave Barret indigestion.
A hand gently tapped his cheek, and Cloud blinked blearily up at a boringly white ceiling. When had he lost his clothes?
“Did y’take off ma clothes?” he slurred.
Silver hair tickled his face as the man leaned over him and pulled up the covers. “Your dignity is in tact, Strife.”
“Where y’goin’?”
“Couch.”
The blond snorted. “Fuck that.” He grabbed a handful of silver hair and pulled the pajama-clad General closer. “I’m not makin’ y’sleep on yer own damn couch. Get in here. S’a king sized bed. Lots a’ room.”
“That would be inappropriate.”
Cloud scowled and tugged on the man’s silver hair. “You. In. Now. I ain’t gon’ let go, and y’ain’t gon’ break ma hand. So suck it up princess an’ get in.”
A throaty chuckle. “I don’t believe anyone has had the courage to call me a princess before. Let alone twice.” The covers shifted and a warm body moved into bed next to him. Cloud let Sephiroth settle before he murmured happily and shifted closer to his new heater and wrapped an arm around his waist, letting his head rest on a toned shoulder.
The warm muscles tensed. “What are you doing, Strife?”
“Mmm… warm.” He shifted closer and let out a content sigh. His mind had long since stopped working, but if there was one thing he knew, it was that he liked sleeping with warm things. And the silken hair brushing his cheek was a nice plus. “Gnite.”
He might have heard Sephiroth murmur a soft ‘goodnight’ back.
-Toki Mirage-
And thus, the beginning of Phase Two! Mwahaha!
So, my day ended pretty shitty and I owe $24 in library fines. Fucking course reserves and librarians going on supper break. I needed Cloud to cheer me up so this is why I updated, basically. I got work up to my eyeballs but I didn’t feel like doing any of it tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more productive…
Anyway, I’ve gotten some mixed reviews and confusion floating around, so I figured I’d clear up a few things. First of all – in regards to the whole ‘Zack’ thing, I’d like to remind the dissidents that this is fanfiction. Which by the very definition of the word means I’m taking canon material and messing with it. So I don’t particularly care if I follow canon in regards to characters, story, plot, backstory, or what-have-you. For those of you wondering exactly what went down in Cloud’s head, I can only hope that this chapter and future updates clear things up for you as I skooch along. And I don’t mean to imply by this message that I have received a lot of flak from people, it’s actually quite the opposite, but I figured I’d set the record straight for those who chose not to provide ways for me to contact them.
On a more positive note, BAND CAMP ROCKED! :D So thanks to everybody who sent their well-wishes my way, I had a blast! School’s started now, so I’m not sure how often I’ll continue to update. I’ve also been meaning to work on my other stories, so no promises. Thanks to everyone who’s read and reviewed! Your support is what keeps writers like me going.
Happy reads, yo!
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The Little Guy