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Whispered Screams	By : AngryAngel Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 6957 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
�... wake him up! Ksh! Ah,
man... just go chew on my shoes or something like that. Stop fuckin� pulling!�
�... Hh... Unh... what
the... huh?�
Squall Leonhart wasn�t
used to waking up to anything but the methodical, stoic beeping of his alarm
clock, so he was accordingly confused when his peaceful slumber was interrupted
by a low voice muttering incoherently somewhere... above him?
�Above...? Why...�
There wasn�t just that,
either. Strangely, the flat, squishy surface he�d been resting on didn�t
exactly seem very steady anymore. Instead, Squall perceived movement on top of
him, around him and below him � a discovery that he found somewhat unsettling,
to be quite honest.
Very slowly, his eyelids
peeled open over a blank surface of unclouded slate blue that was, despite its
sleepy state, glowing from deep within. Squall blinked once or twice against
the blurriness in his sight, if only to blink once more and much faster this
time in utter confusion at the bizarre picture that had snapped into focus
before him.
Someone was hovering above him like,
well... a very odd kind of bridge; their torso was crossing over his own, while
both of their knees were placed on the right side of his body, dug firmly into
the mattress for support.
�W-what... who...�
When Squall allowed his
mind to stray from this awkward situation and reminisce for a moment, he
finally remembered that brawny guy above him to be Seifer Almasy, his classmate
and host for the night. The cocky blonde, however, wasn�t paying much attention
to him, but rather to something that seemed to linger by Squall�s left side �
off of the edge of the bed.
Then, Squall noticed a
subdued noise, which sounded dangerously like the feral snarl of an animal,
whirring through the warm morning air.
�Oi! Don�t growl at me,
stupid dog! Let go already! You�re gonna wake him up!�
Intrigued by the blonde�s
vibrant hiss, Squall veered his head around to where he guessed Seifer�s hands
to be. To his mild surprise, his eyes clashed with a pair of cool, arctic blue
orbs and two rows of sharp fangs that were locked tightly around their helpless
prey � which, interestingly enough, just happened to be Seifer�s pillow.
�... What the hell is
going on here?�
As if Seifer had literally
heard him wondering and slanting his face in confusion, the blonde youth
suddenly shifted his focus from his dog Shiva to his drowsy bed companion,
Squall Leonhart. The brunette was gazing up at him with his thin brows arched
to his hairline, a sort of unsure and irritated look glowering in his wide,
quite adorably sleep-filled eyes. Seifer paid him a quick flash of a smile,
before whisking his head around to Shiva once more.
�Told ya you�d wake him
up,� he chided. �Why can�t ya just lay around and sleep all day like normal
dogs do? Well, guess what, no bagel for you this morning, missy! Hah!�
Triumphant like a general
that had just returned victorious from battle, Seifer rotated his body slightly
and beamed down upon the brunette boy who was laying beneath him, motionless like
a statue, and who was doubtlessly questioning his sanity.
�Sorry �bout that,� Seifer
purred and squinted one of his emerald green eyes in a charming wink. �Guess
she thought it�d be a grandiose idea to come and wake us up. Make a long story
short - I had to smack her with my pillow. Stupid ass d-�
Distracted by his dark
haired friend�s early morning beauty, Seifer failed to realize that Shiva
wasn�t quite done toying with him yet. On the contrary, she gave the
�prize� her master had been holding onto a powerful tug that sent a
preoccupied, smugly grinning Seifer face forward into the mattress � and right
onto poor Squall, for that matter.
The brunette let out a
strangled gasp as the 210 pound weight that was Seifer�s body collapsed on top
of him, knocking the wind out of his lungs with the force of a steamroller.
Seifer himself gave a surprised grunt and let go of his pillow as he found
himself flattened across Squall�s waist, an expression of lovable confusion and
blankness etched into his angular features.
�H-hey! Get off,
idiot!�
Apparently, Squall had
already overcome the initial moment of surprise, because Seifer could feel him
struggling and heard him growling in repulsion as he tried to push the blonde
away. Seifer rolled around to face him, snorting sullenly, but he made no
efforts at actually prying himself off his newly acquired and fairly bony
�cushion�.
�Why, good morning to you
too, sunshine,� he drawled lasciviously, baring perfect white teeth.
In response, Squall gave
him another decisive shove, which only resulted in the blonde willingly sliding
down to the general area of the brunette�s hips, where he lingered dangerously
calm and attentive like a famished wolf in a flock of innocent sheep.
�Well, well... Mhh, I
kinda like this,� Seifer chuckled deep in his throat, provocatively running one
hand along the sheet-covered inside of Squall�s thigh while his predatory green
eyes glinted at his prey.
The brunette twitched at
the touch and snarled warningly, but to his great dismay, none of his physical
endeavors proved any useful at all. Finally, he pitched his head into his
pillow, hissing in frustration.
�Knock it off!� he
commanded, his voice strained and impatient as he tried to kick out at the
blonde one last time. �And move it, you�re heavy!�
�What? I�m not that
heavy!� Seifer replied glumly, feigning hurt.
�Bullshit. You probably
weigh about a metric ton.�
�Aw, are you saying I�m fat?�
the blonde asked, already chortling with barely constrained laughter as he
clutched his chest. �I�m hurt, Squall. My heart�s bleeding, bleeding you
hear?�
Squall rolled his eyes
towards the ceiling in mute plea, before breathing a low-pitched groan that was
a guttural blend of both frustration and annoyance over Seifer�s shameless
amusement.
Apparently, the blonde
thought this to be dead funny.
�... Considering the
complete weirdness of this situation, I suppose it is sort of funny...
in a very stupid, irritating kinda way.�
Something inside of Squall
was prickling very subtly at that thought, and he was beginning to feel
uncharacteristically... humored. Seifer was smirking at him daringly, languidly
tapping the long fingers of his left hand on the flat surface of Squall�s
abdomen as if he was waiting for something in particular. When Squall�s gaze
scanned the blonde�s mischievous face and inevitably focused itself on Seifer�s
lips, a slight blush crept to the brunette�s cheeks as he suddenly recalled the
passion-filled events of the night before.
Not that he had ever truly
forgotten.
�No,� he finally replied
lightly, trying to mimick Seifer�s bold attitude. �You�re not fat exactly, but
you sure are a fucking horrible kisser.�
The very moment that that
careless sentence had rolled off his tongue, Squall wanted to smack his own
forehead in disbelief, or better yet, run it square into a concrete wall. He,
the guy who never opened his mouth before giving each word very careful
thought, had just blurted out something outrageous like that?
What on earth was
happening to him?
�... �You�re a horrible
kisser�? Did I really just say that? What the hell was I thinking? I
can�t believe I�m actually reminding him of what we did, what the fuck
is wrong with me?�
And of course, Seifer
wouldn�t be Seifer if he�d let such a perfect opportunity slip.
�Oh, is that so, huh?� the
eighteen year old sneered softly, tilting his head to the side.
Seifer was chuckling slyly
as he left his chosen position on Squall�s body and slowly traveled upwards
along his torso. He laid down next to the brunette, who had to swallow against
the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat; as Squall stared up at Seifer
out of blue eyes that were wide as saucers, he looked innocent to the very
core, but he was finally grasping what sort of retaliation his hasty and
taunting words had provoked.
�Hmm... Guess I need more
practice, then...�
�Practice...?�
Squall winced at the
lecherous tone that had meshed with Seifer�s voice, but even more so at the
feeling of the blonde�s lips suddenly colliding with his own. Seifer had hooked
one hand around Squall�s neck and was pulling the brunette into him now,
robbing him of both breath and reason. Squall�s hands struggled to find some
sort of hold, to perhaps even manage to push Seifer off, but it seemed as if
his brain had abandonden all rational thought processes long ago.
�W-wait... w-wha...�
It really was a strange
feeling to be this close to anyone, so new and exciting, yet also very scary at
the same time. Squall had never truly kissed another person before, not
until the previous night, anyway, and though he certainly didn�t dislike the
act of it, it was still far too difficult for him to relax and simply let go.
Painful memories were clinging to his mind, coating it like dark varnish, and
even though he would have gladly released said memories at any given time, they
stuck with him like a disease that no doctor would ever be able to cure.
Despite his discomfort,
however, Squall�s muscles refused to obey his frenzied commands and his heart
was starting to pound in his chest, picking up its pace the longer and more
passionate Seifer�s kiss grew.
�Am I... supposed to
allow this to happen? Shouldn�t I resist? I could push him away if I really
tried... After all, I never consented to this, did I? ... Did I?�
The thought caused Squall
to frown just slightly, but he quickly forgot all about his distress when
Seifer ran his tongue teasingly across his bottom lip and brushed his hand
along the brunette�s bare side in a fleeting touch. Squall started at the
contact, but he could hear Seifer whispering a soothing �shhh� against his
cheek. The blonde�s beard stubble scratched Squall�s chin as their lips touched
once more, but Squall did neither notice nor care. As frightening as this
intimacy might have been, it also felt no less amazing, which was a weird
concept all in itself; to Squall, physical affection hadn�t been anything of
pleasance in well over six years. Yet, there he was, trapped by his own
confusion and moaning very faintly into Seifer�s mouth as his eyelids fluttered
close and he felt the blonde smiling against his lips with satisfaction.
Inevitably, his head was
starting to spin again.
Fortunately, Seifer seemed
at least semi-willing to stick to his credo of �taking things slowly�, because
he finally interrupted their kiss and withdrew a few inches. He loved the sight
of Squall�s flushed, almost embarrassed face, but even more so did he enjoy the
carnal spark that had come alight in the brunette�s typically frigid, storm
blue eyes.
�Well...� he breathed
languidly, while licking his lips in a way that lanced sharp spikes of heat up
Squall�s spinal column, �You sure taste good even with morning breath.�
As Seifer had anticipated,
the brunette�s features curled abruptly and his sweetly disjointed gaze snapped
into a downright death glare. Laughing good-naturedly at that priceless
expression, Seifer rolled over and dropped into the mattress, filled to the
brim with rapture and bliss over this rather exquisite start into a Saturday
that could have easily turned out as ordinary as any other. Despite the fact
that Squall kneed him sharply in the side for his impudence, Seifer had
absolutely no problems declaring this one of the best mornings of his entire
life.
�Yeah, fuck you
too, Almasy!� the sour brunette next to him bellowed when Seifer just wouldn�t
cease laughing, although an unsteady, amused undertone had kindled with
Squall�s voice as well.
Somehow, everything looked
so much better and brighter in the light of a new day.
Sighing impatiently,
Squall finally pushed the covers over Seifer, thus burying the blonde�s loud mouth
under a bulk of black satin. Then, he leaped onto his bare feet as lightly as
his aching body would permit, while inwardly smiling at Shiva, who was laying
curled up next to the bed and was contently chewing on Seifer�s pillow.
�Serves him right.�
Circling the bed with a
certain air of passive grace and arrogance, Squall silently headed for the
bathroom. He stopped dead in his tracks, however, when a pillow suddenly
creamed him square across the side of his face with enough force to at least
cause him to halt and blink dumbstruck.
�Awooo! Hahaha, got ya
good!�
Seifer had apparently
struggled free from the covers and was sitting cross-legged like a very naughty
chieftain, glowing with pride over his perfect toss. Needless to say, Squall
regarded him with a look that suggested murder, but in the end, the brunette
opted for folding his arms across his chest and snorting smugly instead.
�You,� he started, the
edge to his voice sharp as his lips stretched into a cold sneer, �Throw like a
girl.�
�Heeey now, princess,
that�s not very nice,� Seifer retorted, mocking outrage.
�Neither is launching
pillows at people.�
�You�re one to talk. You
tried to get me twice last night!� Seifer retorted while holding up his
right index- and middle finger.
�Whatever,� Squall replied
monotonously, rolling his shoulders in a cool shrug.
Twisting his eyes towards
the ceiling at the brunette�s trademark reply, Seifer jumped off the bed as
well, feathering on his toes as he hit the ground. Squall was studying him
warily out of glittering, narrowed blue grey eyes, but the blonde merely heeded
him with a bright smirk that didn�t look too unsettling - yet.
�Well, anyway,� Seifer
chanted blithely as he slowly walked up to the other youth, fully aware of
Squall�s storm grey orbs flickering in silent warning. �How does a shower sound
to you, princess? Hmmm?�
Squall�s eyebrows cocked
upwards ever so slightly, though the brunette immediately scolded himself for
even displaying any sort of reaction to Seifer�s suggestive �invitation�. On
the other hand, he needed a shower and wanted it all the more, though he
considered it best to make it very clear that this was not going to evolve into
any kind of group activity.
�Fine,� he finally replied,
his voice steady enough as he turned his head away. �Go ahead. I�ll wait �till
you�re done.�
�Wait? Wait for what? We
can shower at the same time, sweets.�
Seifer had to bite down a
laugh over the faint blush that tinged Squall�s cheekbones. He could read the
brunette like an open book, at least where these somewhat obvious matters were
concerned; Squall was at the verge of a coronary at the prospect of taking a
shower with anyone but himself. Chuckling, the blonde sashayed past his
classmate and slapped his ass amicably, though the gesture only elicited a
hitched, irritated growl from Squall�s end.
�Don�t fucking do that,
asshole!�
�Aw, don�t get your
panties in a knot,� Seifer purred as he opened his walk-in closet and
disappeared within its seemingly fathomless depths. �Shower orgies are fun.
You�ll love it.�
Frowning, Squall listened
to him rummaging around; the brunette stood tensely in the middle of the
bedroom, his right hand fastened around his bare hip and his eyes filled with
mistrust as he shifted his weight from one leg to the other. It didn�t take
long before Seifer re-emerged and approached him with an unreadable smirk. To
the brunette�s surprise, he was holding out a red piece of clothing for Squall
to grasp.
Blinking in confusion, the
younger teenager gazed upon it as if in a daze.
�Your shirt�s filthy,�
Seifer explained patiently. �I�ll wash it for you tonight, just wear this
instead. And by the way, you can breathe again � I was kidding about the
orgy. You �prolly don�t remember, but there�s a second shower in the guest
bathroom.�
To Seifer�s mild surprise,
the brunette in front of him continued to stare at the shirt in his hand, his
features twitching slightly.
�Red... it�s red... I
don�t wear red...�
�What?� the blonde grunted
questioningly. �Any objections, your highness?�
When he again received no
reply, Seifer eventually shoved the shirt into Squall�s arms with an exasperate
sigh, before lowering his head to the brunette�s once more.
�Me � Seifer,� he cooed in
his best Tarzan expression, delighted that Squall�s darkened eyes finally met
his. �This � my � loincloth. You � wear. By the way, uh, you don�t happen to be
Jane, do you?�
A hiss of air swished
through Squall�s teeth as he whipped around, the shirt clutched tightly to his
chest.
�Dumbass.�
As Squall edged away to
the only neat stack of clothes in the entire bedroom in order to grab
his pants and socks, he suddenly remembered something aside from Seifer�s
kisses and overwhelming closeness of the night before � he remembered what he
had wanted to take care of hours ago.
�Your bathroom...�
Seifer watched with
wordless interest how Squall was fidgeting with his attire, his back turned on
him. Finally, the brunette threw him an evasive half-glance across his
shoulder, but somehow, all Seifer suddenly managed to focus on were the smooth,
almost water-like movements of Squall�s neck, the way his back tapered into a
slim waist and how each ever so fine string of muscle shifted beneath the silky
plains of his ivory skin.
�Fuck, he�s hot.�
�Seifer?�
�Ah... oh... uh...
right...� the blonde coughed, quickly clearing his throat while willing the
heat away from his lower extremities. �Don�t worry about that. I�ll take care
of it.�
�But-�
�Hey, all I gotta do is grab
a sponge and wipe down the sink and toilet, right?� he grinned, waving his hand
dismissively. �No big deal. Go take your shower.�
Squall had finally
swiveled around to face him, his semi-clean pants, shirt and socks resting
loosely in his arms. Despite the steely resolve in his turbulent eyes, he
looked lost somehow.
�I want to do it,
though... I caused the mess, after all. It�s my fault, not your�s, so
it�s my responsibility.�
Seifer couldn�t possibly
explain it, but his heart had started to ache terribly at the vulnerable tone
that had kindled with Squall�s voice. The brunette could be an icicle alright,
but regardless, Seifer had never felt this way before, about anyone � so
attached, protective and helpless at the same time. Whatever this stubborn guy
was doing to him with his damned pretty face and enigmatic grey eyes, it sure
was working like a charm or a curse, depending on how one looked at it. Like a
puppet on strings, Seifer found himself walking over to the brunette and
wordlessly drawing him into his arms, clutching Squall�s thin body as tightly
as he could while burying his face in his chocolate brown, tousled hair with a
sigh.
�Uh... H-hey, Seifer,
what...�
Squall�s arms were trapped
between their two bodies, causing the brunette to squirm uneasily in that
position. He was quite taken aback by Seifer�s hug, to say the least. He had
witnessed with surprise how the blonde�s emerald eyes had fogged up, before
Seifer had simply grabbed him like he had been afraid that Squall would
suddenly disappear from the face of the earth. Squall wasn�t quite sure what to
think of this uncalled-for intimacy, but he was certainly feeling awfully
flustered.
�S-Seifer... Hey...
Uhh...�
Odd as it would be, he
received no reaction. Unsure, he started to glance across Seifer�s broad
shoulder, darting helpless looks around the room.
�What am I doing? I
mean, why am I letting him do this? What�s wrong with him all of a
sudden, anyway... this doesn�t seem like him. He�s holding on to me so damn
tight, I can hardly breathe. Uh. He seems... scared...? But why? I think he�s
shivering...�
Confused, Squall tried to
catch a glimpse of Seifer�s face. The blonde had his eyes shut almost violently
and his lips were quivering despite his set jaw. Something painful seemed to
haunt him, but what could it possibly be? The formerly so easy going,
light-hearted guy seemed unusually perturbed.
�Seifer?� Squall murmured,
his voice uncharacteristically gentle. �Are you alright?�
Finally, he perceived
movement from the blonde who was engulfing him so dearly. Seifer eased away
from him just slightly, allowing him to free his arms and move them - together
with the clothes - to his sides. Squall heard the blonde coughing deep in his
chest, as if in embarrassment.
�Yeah, I�m fine,� Seifer
assured him curtly. �Sorry.�
Squall said nothing, nor
did he free himself from the blonde�s hold, but his eyes searched Seifer�s
handsome face, studying it attentively. When the blonde noticed his curious
gaze, he forced an expressionless smirk upon his lips and took a step back to
separate their bodies completely.
Something had just
happened between them - something that hadn�t been there before - but neither
of them was entirely sure what.
�I�m acting like a
child,� Seifer scolded himself in distress. �What happened just now? His
eyes... that look he gave me when he said it was all his fault... I felt like I
was gonna die if I didn�t hold him right then... like I was never going to be
happy ever again. How ridiculous. Don�t tell me I�m falling in love with him or
some sentimental bullshit like that... he�s cute, but fuck... I don�t even believe
in love, and I�m pretty sure he doesn�t either. I mean, I know I want him, but
that doesn�t exactly explain why my heart hurts like hell when I look at him...
or when he�s looking at me like he is right now.�
Squall�s eyes were
gleaming as if they had been sprinkled with stardust � confused alright, but
nonetheless unyielding. There was a streak of concern, too... concern over
Seifer�s disheveled state, no matter how earnestly Squall tried to squash the
notion. They stared at each other silently, and at that point, both of them
seemed at a loss over what to do next.
Eventually, Seifer managed
to regain his composure and light, if shallow nature. Grinning more truly now,
he scratched the back of his head and pointed at the door that lead to the
master bathroom.
�Ahh... Anyway, princess,
you better go take your shower before I throw you down on the bed and think of
better ways to get you wet.�
If anything managed to
snare Squall�s undivided attention, that comment and Seifer�s evocative wink
did. After letting out a stifled, outraged gasp, it took him less than two
seconds to squeeze past Seifer and flee into the bathroom where he quickly
slammed the door shut behind himself. He thought that he could hear Seifer
snickering outside, but his heart was beating too loudly to tell for sure.
�... You�ve got to calm
down. He was just fucking with you.�
Despite his earnest
resolution, he couldn�t help but blush a furious shade of red at the vivid
memory of Seifer�s desperate hug and raunchy words. It made him angry and it
scared him, but somewhere deep within, he was all the more touched by the
blonde�s actions. Seifer had shown vulnerability back there; he had clung to
him as if he was the only reason worth living or dying for.
Groaning, Squall dumped
his forehead into his hand.
�What am I thinking?
This is pathetic. He�s just horny, that�s all. I�ve gotta stop reading so much
into everything he does. Seriously. What do I even care? I should hurry up so I
can go home... It�s about time I get out of here.�
Gathering whatever bits of
his sanity that he could find within himself, Squall heaved a guttural sigh and
dropped his clothes upon the shut toilet seat. He stood motionless for a while,
uncertain of what to do next, before he reached inside the pocket of his jeans
to retrieve a silver, lion-shaped pendant that was his most precious possession
of all. He had worn it around his neck yesterday, like every day, at least
until he had made the decision to carve his skin for blood that night... For
some reason, he always removed the necklace before he performed that painful
act, as if he was afraid that his mother and Ellone would be able to see
through the very eyes of that lion that they had given him as a keepsake.
�... Don�t be stupid.�
He fastened the chain
around his neck quietly, feeling a little more peaceful when the cold streak of
silver fell smoothly against his bare skin. Then, he noticed the white bandages
which coiled around his wrists, and his features inevitably slanted downwards
into a frown.
�I guess I should take
these off.�
Mechanically, he removed
the metal clips and unwrapped the rough gauze strips, only to reveal his
tortured, sliced up skin. It had bruised slightly, but neither that nor the
dried up, jagged lines of blood did so much as faze Squall. He studied his
delicate wrists neutrally, as if they weren�t even a part of him, before
dropping them to his sides carelessly and placing the used bandages upon the
sink.
He turned on the water and
waited for it to become warm, before he grabbed a random towel from Seifer�s
bathroom closet and stepped out of his boxer shorts. For a short moment, he
paused at his reflection in the mirror, wondering just what it was that Seifer
was seeing when he looked at him. Squall himself could not look past the dull
grey eyes, the always out-of-control hair and the bluish shadows beneath his
skin that were testimony to his anemia and lack of sleep.
There wasn�t one part
about himself that he considered even remotely beautiful.
�Why are you thinking
about this? What does it matter? Whatever Seifer is seeing, if
he�s seeing anything at all... it�s not real. He�ll realize that soon enough.�
Defiantly whisking his
head away, he finally scrambled into the shower and drew the dark blue curtain
shut behind himself. The hot gush of water that immediately beat down upon his
thin frame felt unimaginably good; for a long time, Squall merely stood there,
drowning in the soothing sound and caress of a simple, suburban waterfall.
Eventually, however, even
the fleeting comfort that was dispensed by the warmth of the water slowly
seeped away, yanking Squall back into reality even though he would have much
rather lingered forever in that state of dreamy stupor. The brunette loved
taking showers, even full baths from time to time; at home, the only place
nobody ever bothered him was the bathroom.
The only place.
Ever.
�One of these days, I�m
sure even that�s going to change.�
Chasing the thought away
almost frightfully, Squall swiftly channeled his focus onto something else. He
used his slippery fingers to grab a bottle of shampoo off a small, metal rack
that Seifer had attached to his showerhead. When Squall studied the label, he
couldn�t help but wonder.
��Cinnamon Apple'?
That�s the shampoo Mom�s been buying ever since I was a kid. Hn. Doesn�t seem
like Seifer, somehow. Then again, it doesn�t look like he�s actually ever used
it.�
Shrugging, he squirted a
small, reddish glob into his hands and set the bottle back on the shelf. He
winced as hot water beat onto his raw skin when he turned his wrists over, but
before so much as an anguished moan could have escaped his lips, he had ground
his teeth together and swallowed the pain. Unperturbed, he lathered his hair
and rubbed it thoroughly until he was enveloped by that delicious smell that
always propelled him back into his childhood � to the brighter days, anyway.
�... I�ll make it
better. I�ll make it better than it was back then... better than it is now. I
don�t care what it takes.�
He rinsed the shampoo
stoically, smoothed the wet tresses of hair out of his face and searched the
metal rack for some body wash. Seifer possessed a wide array of soaps and
shampoos � it was almost like glancing into the bathroom of a girl. In fact,
Squall thought, his mother�s special corner didn�t look much different.
He smiled weakly at the
thought.
Sighing, he selected a
random bottle with a navy blue label that read �Ocean Surf� � a corny caption
perhaps, but what did it matter. For what it was worth, Squall had always
been in love with the ocean.
�Yoohoo, princess, I need
some shampoo!�
Squall started at the
unexpected voice that had ruptured the silence from the other side of the
shower curtain, and in his surprise, he actually managed to drop the body wash
to the bottom of the shower basin, where it bounced, struck three of his toes
and finally landed with a wet clunk.
�Ungh!�
He clamped his teeth down
upon his bottom lip as he tried not to yelp or place too much weight on his
aching foot. His eyes were burning with anger as he glared down upon the
offensive object, willing it to evaporate into a myriad of plastic shreds.
�Bitch, that hurt!�
�Uhm, you alright in there?
Don�t tell me you just dropped the soap?�
Squall acknowledged the
suggestive, kinky undertone to Seifer�s voice with a wry grimace. Frowning, he
quickly bent down to pick up the �Ocean Surf� bottle and he did so without
letting the edges of the shower curtain out of sight for even a second. Chances
were, Seifer would barge in on him without even giving the concept of
privacy a second thought.
�No,� the brunette finally
snapped, determined to sound like coolness itself when really, he felt like an
idiot.
�Aw. That�s just too bad.
Mhh... can I have some shampoo, then?�
On the other side of the
shower, Seifer was snickering softly. He had haphazardly cleaned the other
bathroom, only to come to realize that he had an ample supply of shaving
utensils and body wash, but no shampoo to clean his precious, golden locks.
Well - not that he minded
any excuse for a chance to perhaps catch a glimpse of Squall buck naked and
wet.
Unfortunately, Squall
thrust merely his arm past the shower curtain, clutching the bottle of shampoo
that Seifer had purchased at a local drugstore the day before for very obvious
and perhaps even pathetic reasons.
�Cinnamon Apple...
that�s right. Hmm. Wonder if he noticed?�
�Thanks, princess,� Seifer
purred provocatively, if only to elicit an irritated snort from his brunette
guest.
Grinning, he stretched out
his hand to take the shampoo from Squall, but the smug expression faded from
his lips quickly when his eyes fell on the dark haired boy�s bare wrists that
were littered with cuts, bruises and scars. They looked nothing short of
horrifying, and painful at that, causing Seifer to frown with whole hearted
disapproval.
�How are your wrists
feeling?� he asked calmly, tilting Squall�s arm around by the elbow to take a
better look at the damage.
�... Fine,� came the
frayed response from the other side of the curtain as Squall swiftly freed his
limb from Seifer�s loose hold. �Do you want the shampoo or not?�
�... Yeah.�
Seifer took it from him
and watched how Squall�s arm retracted and ultimately disappeared again. He
stared at the empty stretch of air that it had left behind, entrapped in his
reveries until he heard Squall sighing impatiently even through the pounding of
the water.
�Anything else?�
�No,� Seifer replied
thoughtfully, but before he turned around, his eyes came alight with a sort of
grim determination. �I�ll fix up your bandages when you�re done.�
�Whatever.�
��Kay, well... I�ll be in
the other bathroom if you happen to need me for anything � like scrubbing your
back, for instance.�
�Over my dead body.�
�Hm? Say what? �With my
naked body�? Sure, that can be arranged.�
�... Bite me, Almasy.�
Squall was staring at the
white tiles before him as he listened to Seifer laughing and ultimately taking
his leave. For some strange reason, he had started to tremble despite the
steady heat of the water and the steam that engulfed him like a cocoon.
Shivering, he tried to rub away the goose bumps that were spreading across his
upper arms.
�Fuck, what am I doing?
Why am I here? I haven�t spent a night at anyone�s place ever since I was a
kid... and now this. Do I really trust him that much? Why? He could just be
fucking with my mind... he might just be making fun of me and I don�t even
realize it. I mean, what other reason could he have to act like this? He can�t
seriously like me. Why would he? No one else does, after all... not that
I care, anyway. Ungh. I don�t know... I don�t know anything... Why do I feel so
lost? I had everything under perfect control before I met him, and now I don�t
understand anything anymore...�
Willing himself to relax,
Squall ran his hand across his closed eyes and sucked in a wet lungful of air.
He felt like he was stumbling within his mind, falling to the ground, trying
and trying again to get up and move on, but something was
stringing him down like a cast iron chain; perhaps it was his memories, his
fears or his general mistrust that rooted from them both, but Squall suspected
evil motives behind every kind act and word.
On the other hand, though
he didn�t trust anybody per se, the more he got to know Seifer, the less he
started to believe that the blonde was merely toying with him.
Unfortunately, that
thought didn�t calm him one bit.
�... Stop brooding on
this. Finish your shower, get dressed and get the hell home. At least then you
won�t have to deal with him on your own anymore.�
Still, the blonde�s bright
laughter was ringing in his ears even after he had finished and stepped out of
the shower, wrapped loosely in a dark blue flannel towel. He couldn�t hear
anything that went on beyond the bathroom walls, but he thought it safe to
assume that Seifer was already finished with his shower; after all, Squall had
spent a good amount of time conducting directionless inner monologues and
trying to glare the faucet jack to pieces.
Sighing, he slung the
towel from around his hips and stepped up to the sink. The face that looked
back at him from the mirror of the medicine cabinet was stark and dominated by
dark, lifeless eyes. Haphazardly, he swept the damp tresses of hair behind his ears,
not minding what his �do� would look like once it dried. He had never cared
much about appearances � neither his own nor that of anybody else.
Even so... the jock Seifer
Almasy did intrigue him in more ways than Squall deemed appropriate. One
had to hand it to the blonde � Seifer was damn good looking and fully aware of
it, too. Never in his lifetime would Squall have thought that someone like
Seifer could possibly be interested in him, especially after their nasty first
encounter. Something in Seifer�s sharp, lucid green eyes had caught Squall�s
attention that day, even if he had put all of his energies into vehemently
denying it.
The memory caused Squall
to flush crimson once more and he whisked his head away from the mirror.
�And ever since when
have I been attracted to guys? Since when have I been attracted to anybody,
for that fucking matter? Why�d I kiss him? I�m such a fucking idiot. What am I
getting myself into? That guy has caused me nothing but trouble so far... that
dumb, cocky, thick-headed moron.�
Grunting irritably, Squall
finished toweling himself off and quickly started to get dressed. Putting on
his socks, shorts and pants wasn�t a big deal, actually forcing himself to slip
into the red, long-sleeved t-shirt that Seifer had lent him was a whole
different story, though. Squall honestly loathed the color red, even though (or
perhaps because) the blood that slicked his skin so frequently was of
the same mesmerizing tint. The fact that Seifer had picked out one of his football
team shirts of all things didn�t exactly help this feeling of repulsion, but
Squall wasn�t one to complain. So what if he was running around with an image
of the Balamb High School �Falcons� mascot etched onto his back?
He had far more important
things to worry about.
He rolled up the sleeves,
which were slightly too long for his arms, and gargled with Seifer�s mouthwash
once more, before carefully straightening out any mess that he could possibly
leave behind. He wasn�t entirely sure what to do with his used bandages; hence,
he simply grabbed them and rolled them up as neatly as he could before placing
them back onto the sink.
Suddenly, he paused.
�... Damn it.�
�I should just bandage
my wrists myself. I don�t need him! Bastard. I feel like he�s babysitting me.
It�s really not like my wounds are any of his business, anyway. Geez.
Then again... I guess he�s done a much better job at taking care of them than I
have... I wonder how he knows so much about first aid? Well, whatever the reason,
I�m certainly not going to ask.�
Shrugging coolly, he
finally managed to gather enough confidence to leave the bandages be and slowly
push the bathroom door ajar. To his mild surprise, he found the room that lay
before him quite empty and the bed already made, but there was definitive noise
coming from the direction of the kitchen.
�Yo, princess. I was about
to check whether you�d fallen into the toilet or something.�
A curt, impatient sigh
escaped Squall�s throat as he slowly proceeded towards the living-room and the
kitchen. Seifer seemed to be rummaging around behind the counters and only the
top of his head was visible, which caused Squall to stop and look around
unsurely.
Seifer�s apartment really
was quite nice � his furniture certainly looked like it had cost a fortune -
though the blonde didn�t exactly seem to put much effort into keeping it in a
neat condition. His couch was piled high with bulging, colorful bags of which
Squall could only guess the content. Plastic cups, empty beer bottles, spare
change and take-out trash from McDonald�s were strung all over a low, glass-top
coffee table. Some stylish carpets graced the expensive hard wood floor, but
there wasn�t a single picture that hung on the walls.
�I�m surprised he
doesn�t have a bunch of stupid posters of football players or playboy models...
or even flaming red pick up trucks, for that matter. I guess his parents still
live in Balamb, so why doesn�t he have any pictures of them, either?
Whatever. What do I care.�
�Hey, don�t go near the
kitchen table,� Seifer�s muffled voice suddenly commanded, before the blonde
finally re-emerged with a brush and dust pan in his hand. �Wouldn�t want ya to
tear your feet open.�
�... What?�
�There�s glass
everywhere.�
When he watched Seifer
sashaying around the table, clumsily sweeping up shards of glass in various
sizes, Squall vaguely recalled being the cause for that mess � a realization
that, of course, caused him to frown in shame.
�Sorry,� he muttered
contritely.
�Sorry? For what? Don�t be
stupid.�
The blonde looked up at
him from his squatting position on the floor, and Squall noticed that he had
already shaved and gelled back his hair. Seifer was dressed in some khaki
shorts, untied sneakers and an olive green, long-sleeved shirt that accentuated
his nicely muscled torso and the enticing color of his eyes much more than
Squall thought himself able to handle.
�Damn him.�
Seifer grinned as he
watched Squall�s face souring; it was quite the cute sight, really. The
brunette looked adorable in his red football shirt, though it was
slightly too large for his slender statue. Squall had pushed his sleeves up to
his elbows and was now crossing his arms in front of his chest, which, upon
seeing his bare wrists, reminded Seifer of his other task that still required
attention.
�Hey, watch your wounds,�
he chided gently as he stood up, assured that he had swept up all of the glass
on the floor and table. �Grab a chair, I�ll be right back with some fresh
bandages.�
While Seifer dumped his
trash, Squall approached the table with indecisive steps. He took a chair and
spun it around, lowering himself on the cushioned seat mechanically. Out of the
corner of his eyes, he glanced at the smooth tabletop, remembering awfully well
how Seifer had lifted him up and sat him down right there the night before, had
laid him down, and...
For the fifth time that
day, Squall�s pale face flushed crimson.
�How fucking
pathetic... stop thinking about it already! What are you, a virgin? A little
school girl with a crush on the class jock? Pull. Yourself. Together!�
He cleared his throat
nervously as he shot aimless looks around the room, suddenly noticing the faint
smell of coffee in the air. His nose crinkled slightly at the impression; his
mother was a downright caffeine addict, always on the prowl for new flavors and
roasts of her chosen �poison�. At some point, she had dreamt of opening up her
own little coffee shop, with home made pies, muffins and the largest selection
of coffee one would ever find anywhere, but that dream had vanished just like
most of her other ones had.
As always, Squall could
feel guilt welling up inside him, filling his heart and mind with stale
discomfort.
�If it wasn�t for
me...�
�Oi. Stop that! It�s too
early in the morning to be frowning like that, princess.�
He looked up, startled,
gazing into a pair of striking peridots that were fixed upon him thoughtfully.
Seifer had sat down in a chair before him, bandages and Bactine resting in his
lap. Squall didn�t stop frowning, but the shadows that were plaguing his soul
had become a little more translucent.
�Stop calling me that,� he
finally bit, his tone challenging and cold.
�Calling you what?� Seifer
asked with a kink of his eyebrow. �Princess?�
Squall nodded curtly
before veering his head aside, scowling. The nickname had always bothered him,
why, he couldn�t even say. He usually cared little about other people�s
opinions, but the fact that Seifer addressed him by this loathed name made his
insides churn with sickness.
�Well, what else shall I
call ya then, your grace?�
�I have a name, dumbass.�
Seifer�s lips curved
upwards, but this time, the smile didn�t reach his eyes.
�So do I.�
Whether he liked it or
not, Squall had to admit that Seifer had made a valid point there, and he found
himself deprived of any further snappy comeback. Instead, he had started to
think. Squall had called the blonde who was sitting before him �idiot� and
�dumbass� more often than by his real name, but quite honestly, he was simply scared
of letting this whole... thing become too personal.
Then again, they had made
out on Seifer�s fucking kitchen table, how much more personal could they
possibly get?
Sighing in defeat, Squall
lowered his gaze to his kneecaps.
�Whatever.�
To his surprise, Seifer
said nothing, but instead reached for one of his wrists. Instinct urged Squall
to yank it back, but he managed to hold still, if only because Seifer raised
his voice to a smooth crawl.
�Lemme see your wrists,
please... Squall.�
There wasn�t even a hint
of sarcasm that tainted Seifer�s tone when he spoke; in fact, Squall couldn�t
remember ever liking the sound of his own name as much as he did that very
moment in Seifer�s kitchen, on that cursed, awkward Saturday morning.
Wordlessly, he extended his
arms.
Seifer moved close enough
to where he could rest Squall�s wrists on his thighs. Of course, he could have
tended to them on top of the table, but he cherished each second of bodily
contact that they shared, no matter how chaste or fleeting it might have been.
That strange, warm, pulsing feeling returned to his heart whenever they touched
one another, causing his chest to contract and a huge lump to fill up his
throat.
�Man... what�s going
on? I swear I�ve never felt like this before... not sure how much I like it.
Maybe I should just fuck him and get it over with already. Ugh. Yeah fuckin�
right. There�s no way I could do that. I bet this sounds really damn corny, but
I don�t wanna... hurt him... not if I can help it, anyway. I like it when he�s
relaxed like he is now. He�s usually so damn tense, like he�s got a fuckin�
stick up his ass. I think he�s starting to loosen up though, at least a little.
Holy shit. I sure am getting soft in my old age, huh? Just when did I start
caring about anyone�s feelings but my own, anyway?�
Chuckling mutely to
himself, Seifer swiped Squall�s wounds with the Bactine solution, covered them
with gauze pads and finally wrapped them up as professionally as he could
manage. All the while, Squall was studying each of his movements very
attentively, though not without pretending to be poise itself. The brunette�s
eyes scanned Seifer�s sinewy hands, noting with faint interest how they were so
much larger and distinctly more tanned than his own. They looked strong... too
strong... capable of doing cruel, painful things. Nonetheless, Seifer seemed to
know well how to utilize them in a careful manner, and quietly, Squall thanked
him for that.
�I made some coffee,�
Seifer murmured under his breath, not looking up. �I�ll have to run down to the
bakery around the corner and grab some bagels for breakfast, though. Don�t have
jack in the fridge. You like bagels, right?�
Squall�s face slanted awry
as he was suddenly reminded of the conversation he had held with his mother the
night before. He hadn�t told Seifer about this, but she had asked him to bring
his new friend over for breakfast. After all, Squall hadn�t slept over at
anyone�s house ever since elementary school, so this was an event worthy of
celebration.
�My mom...� the brunette
started reluctantly, a crack to his voice when he suddenly felt Seifer�s eyes
on himself. �She... uh... wants you to come over for breakfast. I guess she
figured you�d drop me off at home and hang out for a while.�
He shrugged, even though
Seifer was still holding on to his arms. Finally, he met the blonde�s gaze, and
he flinched noticeably at the odd, sparking interest that was smoldering in
those jade green orbs.
�Really...� Seifer said,
his voice low and husky. �That�s pretty damn nice of her.�
�Hn,� Squall agreed
gruffly.
�Too bad you�d
rather see me dead than at your place.�
Squall blinked, honestly
dumbfounded at that remark. His forehead creased into wrinkles when Seifer
stood up almost abruptly, causing his chair to topple back and forth. Then,
Seifer placed his first aid supplies on the table, distanced himself from his
brunette guest and opened up a seemingly random kitchen cabinet.
Back at the table, Squall
thought his mind was about to crumble to pieces.
�... What? What�d he
just say? �I�d rather see him dead than at my place...�? What the fuck? That�s
not...�
�I never said that,� the
dark haired teen finally ground out, while chewing on the corner of his bottom
lip.
Seifer peeked at him from
behind the open cabinet, both sneering and smiling at the same time. His eyes
were glowing virulent green like those of a wild beast.
�Nah, but you thought it.�
The remark had been light,
careless and almost too easy to ignore, but Squall�s face darkened nonetheless.
He felt sudden, overwhelming anger charring his insides to hot ash, though he
wasn�t entirely sure where this unexpected fury had erupted from.
Apparently, Seifer had
discovered some fool-proof method of stirring the most intense of feelings from
the frigid brunette, and Squall found himself hating the blonde for it.
�Don�t flatter yourself
into believing that you know what I�m thinking,� he snapped icily, weighing
each of his words down with arrogance. �Because you don�t. You don�t know a
damn thing about me.�
�Oh, aren�t we catty
this morning, eh?� Seifer retorted smugly. �Meow, kitten.�
�Shut the fuck up!�
Squall had catapulted
himself out of his chair angrily and retreated to the window to glare down at
the parking lot and try to regain his composure. He had no idea why he suddenly
felt the urge to punch Seifer to the ground, but he was honestly upset over his
words. Of course, Squall�s typical behavior would have suggested exactly
what Seifer had assumed � that Squall would hate to spend any more time in the
older youth�s presence than absolutely necessary � but for some unknown reason,
which admittedly bugged the hell out of the brunette, Seifer was mistaken.
�Why am I so angry?
Because of what he said? Because he's wrong? Idiot. Who does he think he is? He
doesn�t know dick about me. Looks like he�s not quite as thick-headed as I
thought, though. I guess he got the �hint� all along. But... that would mean
that he stuck around even though he knew well enough that I didn�t want
him to... But why would he do such a thing? What is he, masochistic? Must be.
Why do I even care? And why the fuck would I rather have him come along to my
house than not? What�s wrong with me all of a sudden? This isn�t making any
sense.�
He pinched the back of his
nose in aggravation, his eyes shut as tightly as possible, and he didn�t stir
until he suddenly felt a hand placed flat upon his left shoulder. Frustrated,
he spun around, but before he could have uttered so much as a single word or
curse, he already found himself silenced by a pair of lips that were forced
hard onto his own. Seifer was kissing him almost violently, pinning him up
against the wall as he ground their bodies together with long, powerful arms.
Squall practically forgot to breathe through his nose at the initial surprise -
a fault that left him accordingly winded and panting when Seifer eventually did
break their kiss. The blonde was still pushing him against the wall, grinning
wickedly, but Squall didn�t even attempt to offer any resistance.
He didn�t know what was
going on, which of course made him suitably nervous, until Seifer finally
decided to shed some light on the situation.
�Fact is,� the blonde
breathed into his ear suggestively, causing Squall to wince at the blazing
intensity of those two monosyllables, �I have no idea what you�re
thinking, Squall Leonhart. None whatsoever. And you know what? I hate
it.�
He nipped at the nape of
Squall�s neck, teasing the sensitive flesh with his teeth. For a moment, he
felt guilty, because he knew full well that Squall would be intimidated by his
offensive approach. To his surprise, though, the brunette merely growled deep
in his throat and pitched his head into his neck, trying to writhe out of
reach.
�Then quit with the
assumptions... idiot,� Squall hissed hoarsely, his blue eyes slit and nailed to
the ceiling as he spoke. �Because you�re not very good at it.�
The blonde snorted softly
in reply and ghosted Squall�s exposed jugular with another kiss, before
venturing upwards along his jaw line and burning his violent green gaze into
the brunette�s.
�Alright then...� he
whispered, kindness seeping back into his voice. �What�s for breakfast,
kitten?�
Squall laced his brows
together at the new nickname, which elicited a lascivious grin and a playful
wink from Seifer�s end. The smaller brunette sighed evasively. It was difficult
for him to keep a clear head when he was being held like this, but when he
finally did manage to come to his senses, he snaked out of Seifer�s
embrace with impressive ease.
The blonde merely smiled
at him.
�Pancakes and waffles,�
Squall stated evenly, a vague grin playing at the corners of his lips as he
strode over to the table and sank back into his chair, all of his coolness
regained at last. �Best you�ll ever have, too.�
�Mmmh,� Seifer declared
impishly, while licking his lips as he stalked Squall�s retreating body with
his eyes. �Nice.�
�Knock it off,� the
brunette bristled, a strained edge to his voice.
�Knock what off?�
�That... you... whatever
you�re doing... just quit it.�
�Why? Don�t tell me you�re
getting excited?�
�Like hell I am.�
Seifer couldn�t help but
be amused by Squall�s obstinate display of frigidness. Apparently, the brunette
was still indecisive on what (or who) he wanted just yet, but Seifer was
certainly planning on rectifying that. This guy wasn�t like any other he had
met before, and Seifer would rather be damned that waste this unique
�opportunity�. He wanted the brunette � a feeling that probably went even
beyond that raw, physical desire - and so he would have him, no matter what it
took. That was the attitude he had been raised with and he saw nothing wrong
with it. He was an Almasy � one way or another, he always got what he wanted.
For Seifer, it was as
plain and simple as that.
Little did he know that
for Squall, life hadn�t been �simple� in almost eighteen years.
�Want some coffee?� Seifer
asked eventually, pointing at two steaming cups sitting aloof on the kitchen
counter.
�... Yeah.�
The blonde took both mugs
in one hand, nonchalantly setting one down before Squall and one in front of
himself. With a muffled snort of laughter, he noticed how Squall was staring at
the light brown swirls of liquid in obvious mistrust, before raising the cup to
his pale, ruby colored lips and taking a small, hesitant sip.
About a split second
later, the brunette�s pretty features twisted into a mask of pure, unconcealed
disgust and he started to gag hoarsely.
�What the fuck...!�
Laughing from the very
bottom of his heart now, Seifer had trouble not spewing his own mouthful of
coffee all over the kitchen table. Of course, Squall was glaring bloody daggers
at him, his dark blue eyes sharp and narrow with anger.
�What the hell is
this?�
�It�s called coffee,�
the blonde elaborated, before bursting into another fit of uncontrollable
laughter over his friend�s twitching features.
Squall wanted to throw
something at him.
�It�s fucking gross,�
he bit tartly. �Stop laughing, you jackass! This isn�t funny.�
�Oh, but it is,� Seifer
replied, waving his hand through the air as he kept chortling.
For the life of him, he
just couldn�t pull himself together.
�It�s just a little milk
and sugar, silly,� he lilted, his eyes sparking like lit up emeralds as he
sipped on his drink. �No reason to make such a face.�
�A little my ass!
Are you outta your fucking mind? Do you want me to die of a sugar shock, or
what?�
This time, Seifer did
snort a spray of overly sweetened, hazelnut flavored coffee in Squall�s general
direction, only barely managing to spare the brunette�s furious face. At that
point, the dark haired youth looked about ready to simply murder Seifer with
his perfect, snobbish, silver teaspoon.
�No,� Seifer replied
eventually, the word bubbly and suggestive as he wiped his mouth with his
sleeve and waggled his eyebrows. �I just thought you could use something hot
and sweet down your throat, ya know what I mean?�
That comment caused Squall
to give another angry hiss and snap his head to the side sharply. He looked
downright livid as he stirred around in his cup, every line in his face tight
and grim. With each time that his spoon clunk against the china of the cup, his
brows slid a little lower over his eyes and the knuckles of his hands turned a
little more white.
What had he gotten
himself into?
�Stupid ass,� he finally
snarled cynically.
Chuckling in amusement,
Seifer pushed himself out of his chair, though not without ruffling the younger
boy�s still slightly damp, chocolate brown tresses playfully.
�Stupid ass, huh? So
cute.�
Squall furiously swiped
out at his hand in response, swatting it away like an overly annoying insect.
His blonde host grinned amicably at that reaction, before retreating to one of
his cupboards once more.
�Don�t talk to me like I�m
a girl or a fucking child,� Squall caterwauled acidly, while crossing his arms
in front of his chest. �I�m not.�
Seifer smiled at him more
kindly this time. He had retrieved another mug and was pouring coffee into it
now � black... no sugar, no milk. For some reason, he had known all along that
Squall wouldn�t drink it any other way, but the temptation of playing with his
mind had been too hard to resist.
�I know that,� he replied
complacently as he placed the cup on the table and sat down again.
When Squall grabbed his
cup, Seifer suddenly leaned into him without warning, his angular face with the
trademark, mischievous smirk only inches from the brunette�s. Squall
immediately edged back in his seat as far as he could, his grasp around his mug
tight as his features went blank.
�Eh-�
Seifer tilted his head to
the side, winking.
�I�d be downright devastated
if you were a kid!� he exclaimed blithely, before bringing one finger to his
mouth in thought. �Then again, you�re not exactly legal as it is. When
ya turning 18 again, cupcake?�
�Fuck off.�
�Hahaha... I swear, you
wouldn�t know humor if it smacked you square on the ass, kid.�
Seifer ran his hand
through Squall�s hair yet again, more softly this time and with a blinding
smile on his lips. For some odd reason, the brunette�s longish, chunky tresses
always reminded him of pure, liquid chocolate and he found himself liking that
comparison very much. Not that chocolate had ever been amongst his favorite
kinds of food, but perhaps it was time for a change or two...
Somehow, Seifer already
knew that it would be for the better.
Squall, however, didn�t
seem quite as happy over the blonde�s fond caress. Sulking, he no longer
even bothered to swat Seifer�s hand away, but instead funneled all his energies
into looking like the impersonification of a sitting menace.
�Bastard. Why does he
always try to fuck with me? How annoying. How old is he, twelve?�
Both scowling and pouting
at the same time, Squall skidded away from Seifer to the other end of the
table. There, he stubbornly took a much too large gulp of his drink, which was
still very warm, and it immediately scorched his sensitive throat. Screwing up
his face at the white hot pain, Squall coughed hoarsely into the hollow of his
right hand, fighting for his breath until he felt someone slapping his back
mercifully and a deep voice was droning in his ears.
�Idiot... No one chucks
hot coffee like that.�
He wanted to give some
sort of snide reply to Seifer�s words, but his throat hurt too much to hold any
sound. Hence, he simply sat there, his unfocused gaze scanning across the cherry
wood table before him as he tried to keep a straight face, although he was
still coughing rather cutely every now and then. The blonde who was standing by
his side seemed to be smiling again, but Squall ignored him with a persistence
that had begun to border to despair.
They continued to drink
their coffee in silence, only interrupted by Shiva demanding her breakfast from
her master. Seifer willingly complied with her request, and he was fully aware
of Squall�s subtle look-over as he left the table to bend down and fill his
dog�s bowl with dry kibbles while lovingly scratching her ears.
Indeed � Squall was
studying him with thinly veiled interest from behind the brim of his cup, his
half-lidded eyes dark and intense like the coffee he was sipping on.
�... I just can�t
figure him out. First he�s being a downright jerk, then he acts all... sweet
and what not. He�s been like this ever since I met him. I hate it. Why can�t he
just be one way or another? He�s confusing me. I never know what to think when
I�m around him. I�d bet he�s doing this on purpose.�
When Seifer sat back down,
Squall cocked his head into his neck to take in the last of his drink. As he
placed his cup on the table, his attention strayed to the white strips of gauze
that enveloped his wrists, and he continued to stare at them empty-eyed until
the boy next to him cleared his throat rather noisily.
�Where are your
wristbands, anyway?�
Squall flicked up his gaze
to meet Seifer�s, who was still finishing his coffee. For a moment, the
brunette did have to think on that question, until he recalled cutting himself
amidst that secluded group of trees at the park. The memory was a bit vague
now, but he did remember that he had been crying � something that he
usually refrained from doing because it did nothing to ease the pain or solve
his problems. Why exactly he had cracked this time, he didn�t quite know, but
apparently he had left his wristbands somewhere by those trees when he had
staggered over to the playground.
�The playground... if
Rinoa hadn�t been stupid enough to climb all over the jungle gym like a drunken
monkey, I doubt Seifer would have ever found out about this. It�s all her fault
then, huh? Whatever. I guess as long as he doesn�t ask too many nosy questions,
it�s not that big of a deal. I mean, he�s bound to lose interest in this whole
thing sooner or later...�
Squall didn�t really
approve of the feeling, but there was a strange sort of sadness that
constricted his throat at the thought. A small part of him was thankful that
Seifer had found him out there in the darkness, but he wasn�t foolish enough to
believe that the blonde would stick around for very long.
In any case, it probably
wouldn�t be very healthy for either of them.
�... I lost them,� he
answered, his voice barely above the barren level of monotony.
�You lost them?�
�At the park.�
�Oh,� Seifer replied,
sounding a bit dumbfounded. �I see. Well, anyway, with those sleeves you
shouldn�t have any problems.�
� Yeah. I guess...�
As if Seifer had given
Squall a cue, the brunette slowly tugged at his sleeve cuffs and pulled them
over his forearms. Seifer watched him neutrally, smiling on the inside at how
very much too slender Squall was for that particular shirt of his. He was
seemingly drowning in its depths, looking almost like a girl that had snatched
away some of her boyfriend�s attire.
Well, regardless of the
appearance of the situation... Squall wasn�t a girl and Seifer felt
nowhere near �boyfriend� status (which by no means is to imply that he held no
aspirations). For the time being, however, the blonde was simply relieved that
Squall was neither glaring him to shreds nor denying his mere presence.
Somewhere along the way,
Seifer had learned how to be humble in his demands.
�What time is it?�
He looked up at Squall�s
question, then glanced at the stainless steel watch he was wearing.
�Almost ten,� he replied,
while turning his wrist so Squall could look at it as well. �Think your mom�s
waiting?�
�Yeah,� Squall drawled
reluctantly. �Probably.�
�Alright, lemme finish my
coffee and then we can take off.�
�Hn.�
Seifer downed his lukewarm
coffee in one gulp and stood up with a satisfied groan, surprised to see Squall
following his example immediately. The brunette had grabbed his own cup and was
getting ready to drop it off in the kitchen, but suddenly, he halted in his
steps and gazed down at the floor as if he expected to find something of great
interest on the white and cream marbled tiles.
�Hey. What�s the matter,
kitten?�
Squall reluctantly raised
his head to meet Seifer�s curious looks. His face soured at the cutesy nickname
and the prospect of having to explain himself, but he managed to shrug in a
manner that was so careless, nobody would have ever guessed how he really felt on
the inside.
�The cutter...� he
started, noting how Seifer�s features hardened slightly. �Where is it?�
�Why are you asking?�
Frankly, Squall didn�t
like the sound of that question. What business was his cutter to Seifer in the
first place? After all, it didn�t belong to the ornery blonde; he had no right
to even ask why Squall was searching for it.
�It�s mine,� Squall
replied evenly, but a subtle note of warning had slipped into his tone. �I want
it back.�
�What for?�
Squall ground his teeth
together in response.
�... Nosy asshole.�
�What do you care?� he
bit.
�You�ve got to be fucking
kidding me.�
Seifer�s voice had become
sharp, causing Squall to swallow the snide remark that had been lingering on
his tongue. He shoved his free hand into the pocket of his jeans and turned his
head aside evasively. Who did Seifer think he was, anyway? His bodyguard? His
loyal knight? How pathetic. Squall didn�t need the blonde�s protection, much
less did he want it. If he wanted to slash his wrists then that was his
choice and his alone - not that of Seifer �Nosy Ass� Almasy.
�You really don�t get it,
do you?� Seifer suddenly asked, cold bitterness and anger swaying the words in
a way that caused Squall to look at him from the corner of his eyes. �Did you
listen to anything I said last night? Huh? Apparently not, or else you
wouldn�t be asking stupid questions like that. I hate to see you bleeding like
a stuck pig, idiot, that�s why I got rid of the goddamn cutter. I tossed
it, alright? Because I like you. But if you want the damn thing that
badly, I guess I can root through the fuckin� trash and get it for you.�
Seifer whipped around
harshly and proceeded towards the kitchen with swift, furious steps, but to his
honest surprise, Squall called out to stop him.
�Wait.�
Sighing, Seifer looked
over his shoulder as he set his mug down upon the counter more roughly than he
had originally planned to.
�What, Squall?� he
asked, his voice grating with strain as he suddenly became awfully aware of the
fact that his patience was starting to run dangerously thin.
�Forget the cutter,�
Squall answered calmly, slicing the air with his hand. �I don�t want it,
alright? I don�t care. Let�s just get going.�
With that, Squall pushed
through the kitchen, placed his cup in the sink and disappeared in the bedroom
without saying another word. On the inside though, he was bubbling with
thoughts and feelings. Frankly, Seifer�s outburst had shocked him and affected
him in more ways than he really liked to admit. It wasn�t even so much what
Seifer had said, but the way in which he had said it.
Well... perhaps it was a
little bit of both.
..: �Because I like
you.� :..
Shaking his head, Squall
grabbed his boots and casually sat down on the bed to put them on. The lines of
his face were firmer than usual, and his lips thinned a little more with each
time that he yanked on his shoelaces.
�Goddamn bastard. Why
does he always have to go saying things like that? I can�t stand him. He�s
rude, annoying, he meddles in things that are none of his business, he dares to
fucking kiss me... and then he says those kinds of... things. It makes me feel
like... my heart stopped beating... and I don�t know why! I�ve never cared
whether anyone liked me or not... In fact, if it was up to me, nobody would
ever say another damn word to me ever again! And yet I�m here, I�ve been
here all night, sleeping in one bed with him and what not... What am I?
Just another hypocrite?�
..: �Because I like
you.� :..
�Argh. Shut up! I don�t
wanna hear it, okay!�
�Squall, are you trying to
strangle your ankles or what?�
Not until that moment did
Squall notice that he had been pulling on his laces so hard that they had cut
into his fingers, right through his skin and down to his very blood.
Now that he thought about
it, it stung quite a bit.
Sighing, he let go of the
black strings and gazed upon the insides of his hands as he rested them on top
of his thighs, dropping his head so low that his chin was almost touching his
collarbone.
�What am I doing...�
Blood was snaking into the
creases of his right hand fingers in very fine, languid trails. His left hand
was alright, probably due to its lack in strength.
Somehow, it was hurting
either way.
�Idiot.�
Past the outlines of the
dark brown bangs that were falling into his eyes, Squall suddenly noticed
Seifer, who had called out to him just seconds ago. The blonde was kneeling
before him, his face dominated by a disapproving frown. He took Squall�s hands,
who surrendered them without putting up any sort of fight, and examined them
patiently. Despite his seemingly calm exterior, however, Seifer breathed an
angry snort.
What was it with this boy,
anyway? Did he care about his own health at all? Did he care about anything?
He looked so... lost. The color of his eyes was a depressing blend of sky blue
and fog grey, slicked with a sheen of helplessness as he cowered there on the
edge of the bed, avoiding Seifer�s direct gaze.
�I�ve seen this look on
him before... and I don�t like it. In fact, I don�t like it one damn bit.�
Squall watched Seifer
quietly, an odd feeling of defeat clawing at his chest as he studied the
blonde�s cool, collected fa�ade. Why did Seifer always have to see him in such
states of vulnerability? Was he really that weak...? Could he not take care of
himself on his own anymore?
�I think I�m starting
to lose it. If I cut myself on shoelaces, then I really-�
With a sudden start, every
thought was bleached from Squall�s mind when Seifer took his injured hand into
his own and slowly guided it to his mouth. The blonde closed his lips around
the cuts, gently sucking away the blood that was seeping from them like crimson
poison. His green eyes flicked a neutral glance to the owner of said hand,
noting with interest the violent blush that had conquered Squall�s cheeks.
�W-what the hell are you
doing? W-what... Seifer! Unnh... S-stop that!�
Squall was stammering and
cringing, trying to reclaim his fingers from Seifer�s mouth, but the blonde was
keeping them with almost ridiculous ease. He stoically continued to clean his
brunette classmate�s wounds, and he was intrigued by the bitter, metallic taste
that now coated his tongue. He was used to the flavor from his countless fist
fights and his football history of almost one decade, but the fact that it was Squall
he was tasting gave this an entirely new twist.
�Ngh... Quit it already!�
the brunette before him pleaded almost desperately. �That�s fucking gross,
you-�
�What?� Seifer asked
calmly as he licked a cut on Squall�s middle finger, grinning cruelly. �Don�t
worry, my spit won�t hurt ya. My parents made me piss in a cup and poked me
with needles just about every damn week of my life ever since I hit puberty.�
�N-no... I mean...� Squall
replied, feeling distinctly uneasy now. �My blood... you really shouldn�t... ungh...�
The blonde chuckled
huskily.
�What�s wrong with your
blood, kitten?�
�Nothing,� Squall snapped
back with as much ferocity as he could muster, �But still, you-�
�Alright then. Don�t
worry, my mom did this to me when I was a kid. It�s okay. Just relax and it�ll
be fine.�
�B-but...�
It was a kind of torture
that Seifer thoroughly enjoyed, especially since Squall seemed all too
receptive for it, despite his outward display of embarrassment. The brunette
looked nervous, perhaps even a little bit aroused in his own way, but
regardless of that, he certainly no longer resembled a lifeless icicle. No
matter how many disjointed glances he flicked around the room during this
special �treatment�, his gaze always returned to Seifer and the hungry glint in
his eyes.
�Bastard...� he growled,
his voice weak and off pitch.
�Why, you�re welcome,�
Seifer smiled as he gave Squall�s palm one final kiss. �There, all better,
kiddo. Don�t think you�ll need any band-aids now, will you?�
Mumbling, Squall pulled
back his freed limb, his expression grim. The fiery red on his cheeks had
submitted to ivory once more, causing him to look a little more composed.
Nonetheless, his heart was racing and jumping in his chest, distributing heat
to all the wrong areas of his body. He hated Seifer for making him feel
this pathetic, and the hot blooded anger that raged across the surface of his
eyes informed the blonde quite effectively of the nature of his feelings.
Not that Seifer seemed to
mind.
�You ready?� the eighteen
year old asked lightly, apparently amused by the fact that he was on the
receiving end of a thousand death glares.
The boy on his bed didn�t
think it was funny at all.
�If you ever... do that
again...� he ground out, the words shaking with irritation. �I swear you�ll be
fucking sorry.�
Biting down fiercely upon
his lips, a fairly light-headed Squall scrambled onto his feet and snuck past
Seifer before the blonde had any noteworthy chance to react. As he stumbled out
of the room, his disappearing steps were echoing more loudly than they should
have. Seifer was still kneeling on the floor, an arrogant but loveable smirk
tugging on the corners of his mouth as he chuckled quietly to himself, savoring
the very last bits of Squall�s blood on his tongue.
�... We�ll see about that.�
- 11
- 12
- 13
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Whispered Screams