Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

Ukiyoe Painting	By : MystIc19 Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1366 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters. I do not make any profit in writing these fanfictions.

Chapter List
- 11
- 12
- 13
Disclaimer: I do not own FF7 or any of the FF7 characters, nor do I make any money from the writing of this story.

�No!� Cloud cried while sitting up straight in bed, drenched in sweat and his breathing heavy. The sound of the lantern hitting the floor alarmed him and it was then that he realized that he had blindly knocked it over from his night table when he flung out his arm before sitting up. But after that commotion his room was filled with silence once more, aside from his heavy breathing and his racing heart. Again, another night of restless sleep. Another night of his mind tormenting him, it didn�t seem like it would ever end and each night it seemed to only dig deeper and deeper.

Letting out a sigh he covered his head with his hands while pulling his knees close to him, trying to relax as best as possible to even out his breathing once more. He felt the sting of tears come to his eyes but he scolded himself mentally telling himself not to let them fall.

�Cloud?� A soft voice spoke through his door before a light tapping sounded and then his door was being slid open. Natsumi appeared, letting blue eyes filled with worry and concern fall onto her son who had pretty much curled into a ball.

Looking up at his mom with tired eyes he turned and reached towards the lantern he had knocked over. He felt guilty for waking his mom again...he had been waking her up frequently with his recent nightmares.

�Sorry, I knocked over my lantern,� he explained groggily.

�Don�t worry about that,� Natsumi replied softly while walking across the room towards the bed. She took a seat on the edge before reaching out and placing her hand on the side of Cloud�s cheek. She was going to ask him if he had another nightmare, but honestly there was really no point in doing so. By this point she already knew the answer would be yes.

�I�m sorry I woke you up,� Cloud said quietly while dropping his gaze.

�It�s fine,� Natsumi said with a small smile, �I was awake anyways.�

Cloud didn�t believe that but he didn�t say anything about it but instead just gave a small nod. And those tears that he told himself he wouldn�t let fall escaped from his eyes anyhow and he quickly pressed his palms to his eyes.

Pulling herself fully onto the bed Natsumi wrapped her arms around Cloud. �It�s okay sweetie,� she said in that motherly, soothing tone, �I�m here. Try to get some sleep.�

Cloud gave a brief nod before closing his eyes when he felt his mother gently running her hand through his hair in a soothing motion. Something that she used to do frequently when he was a little boy and would wake up in the middle of the night because he heard a scary sound. She would hold him in her arms and rock him back to sleep, it always worked.

However now Natsumi found herself doing almost the exact same thing. Only this time it wasn�t �monsters or scary sounds�, but rather Cloud�s thoughts. He had consistently been having nightmares every night it seemed for the past week or longer, and every night he would wake up and alert Natsumi somehow. Whether it was from knocking something over in his room, or screaming, to waking up in tears, Natsumi would hear him. And within seconds she was at his side, trying to calm him and comfort him. She tried to get him to tell her what the nightmares were about, but he would only say that he forgot them as soon as he awoke and so he wasn�t able to tell her what they were about. But Natsumi had a feeling that that was a lie. For a nightmare to be so unsettling that it brought him to tears...his mother wasn�t buying that he didn�t remember them. Call it a mother�s intuition but she knew her son better than that, and she knew when there was something else bothering Cloud. But it did concern her that it seemed to be more than he was letting on.

�It�s okay,� she said softly again while adjusting the blankets on him once more. She stayed that way with him for a while before she heard his breathing even out and his body loose some of the tension that was held in it before. Pulling away slowly she carefully placed him against the pillow before sliding off of the bed. She leaned down to pick up the lantern and placed it back on the nightstand before turning to place a kiss against Cloud�s cheek. She hoped that he would be able to sleep the rest of the night, she knew he needed it. Since he hadn�t been sleeping too well lately it was easy to read on his face in the mornings. His eyes looked tired and puffy and he just seemed altogether sluggish and down. This couldn�t go on forever.

xxx

�Cloud,� Natsumi began with a slight frown, �you�ve barely touched your food.�

�Sorry,� Cloud replied quietly, �i�m just not that hungry.�

�Your mother prepared breakfast for you,� Saito spoke up while narrowing his eyes slightly at the blond, �you need to eat it.�

�Saito,� Natsumi snapped while giving her husband a glare. Cloud had just picked up his chopsticks weakly before Natsumi reached across the table and pulled away his dish. �Don�t worry sweetie, maybe you�ll just have a big lunch huh?�

Cloud gave a small nod before dropping his gaze back on the table.

�You better go then, you�ll be late for lessons,� Saito explained while picking up his cup of tea.

The blond didn�t say a word before rising from his seat and grabbing his notebook, and then he was headed towards the door.

�Have a good day!� Natsumi called out to him before he exited. He said thanks softly before he completely left the house, but other than that no other words were spoken.

�Hmph,� Saito grunted while placing back down his cup.

Natsumi�s glare seemed to intensify and she shook her head briefly. �What are you doing?� She hissed.

Saito raised an eyebrow as he turned his gaze over towards his fuming wife. �What do you mean?�

�You�re not helping the situation!� Natsumi began while roughly clearing the table, �something is bothering Cloud and you�re not being understanding at all!�

�Nothing is wrong with Cloud,� Saito dismissed with a wave of his hand, �he�s simply in a bad mood because of what I did with he and Zack. He�s still moping about that.�

Natsumi was silent as she entered the kitchen and discarded the dishes in the sink. She knew that Cloud was hurt and upset about Saito not allowing him to see Zack anymore, but that was a different reaction. With that she had seen Cloud angry and hurt. But lately, Cloud was acting compltely different from that. He was quiet and withdrawn, and also seemed a bit paranoid. She couldn�t exactly place it but she knew that something else was the matter.

�I don�t think it�s just that,� she finally replied while entering the common area again and taking a seat at the table where Saito was still drinking his tea. �There�s something else going on Saito, I think you need to find out what it is.�

�Natsumi,� Saito began with a sigh, obviously thinking that his wife was being her worried self as usual.

�Don�t dismiss me,� Natsumi continued sternly, �I know my son and I know when something is wrong. You�re not the one whose been up every night trying to comfort him. This isn�t normal behavior for Cloud.�

�Give it time,� Saito replied quickly, �you�ll see this will pass. He�s angry right now but it won�t last forever.�

�I don�t think this is-�

�You coddle him too much, Natsumi.� Saito continued while rising from his seat, �Let him work through this on his own, you can�t fret over him everytime he get�s in a mood.�

Sighing inwardly Natsumi bit her tongue. She didn�t want to argue with Saito, she knew that he was a stubborn man at times and knew that arguing with him would not get anything resolved. She would give him that however, she did know that was she protective of Cloud and did worry easily. He was her only child so she guessed it was only normal, however she didn�t think she was being overly concerned in this.

�I need to go, I�ll be late for my meeting otherwise,� Saito explained before stopping to place a kiss on Natsumi�s cheek. � I probably won�t be home for dinner tonight, I�ll be working late.�

�Okay,� Natsumi replied before giving him a smile, �have a good day at work.� She watched him leave the house before resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin in the palm of her hand, all the while thoughts still racing circles in her head.

xxx

�Would you like more?�

�Yes please,� Zack spoke with a smile as he watched his younger friend approach their table with a teapot in hand.

�Sake for me!� Reno exclaimed while holding out his small cup.

Yuffie scrunched her face while giving the crimson haired man a look. �It�s too early for Sake Reno!�

�It�s never too early for Sake!� Reno shot back.

Yuffie shook her head while filling Zack�s cup with tea. �Fine, I�ll bring you some.�

�What do you say Zack? Want to have a drink with me?� Reno asked with a smirk.

�It�s too early,� Zack repeated Yuffie�s response with a shake of his head.

�Oh come on! I don�t believe that coming from you!� Reno shot back while leaning back from the table.

�Hey!� Zack started with a laugh, �and what�s that supposed to mean?�

�It means you�ve never let me drink alone, and I bet you sure aren�t about to start now,� Reno explained as his smirk widened.

�I guess you got me there,� Zack said with a shrug causing his friend to laugh. Within a minute Yuffie had reappeard and set the small Sake bottle on the table.

�This is on the house so long as you let me take a drink with you!� Yuffie exclaimed while already pouring the hot drink into a cup.

�Hey now, I�m not sure about that,� Zack spoke up while moving to grab the bottle from Yuffie.

�Ah come on Zack, one drink ain�t going to kill her. Besides you and I are here to watch her,� Reno explained.

�Yeah Zack!� Yuffie agreed with a giggle. �And it�s dead in here today so it�s not like I have much work to do.�

�Fine,� Zack replied as Yuffie took up a seat beside him. �Just the one though. I�m starting to think you�re picking up on our bad habits.�

�Drinking with your friends is never a bad thing,� Reno commented before pouring himself a cup.

Zack shook his head before pouring a cup for himself. He and Reno downed theirs relatively quickly while Yuffie was still working on her cup, making a face every so often from the sheer strength of the drink.

�What�s this? You started without me?�

�Kunsel!� Yuffie beamed as he neared their table.

�Hey we didn�t see you around earlier,� Reno began as Kunsel took a seat at the table.

�Yeah I was with Angeal going over some briefings,� Kunsel explained before reaching for the Sake bottle.

�Hey,� Zack began, �did you see Cloud?�

�Hmm?� Kunsel asked while taking a drink before he realized what it was that Zack was really asking him. �Oh yeah, sorry. He didn�t have anything to give me for you though.�

�Oh,� Zack replied, not at all sounding happy with that information. What was going on? He had written Cloud so many letters over the past week and all of them had gone unanswered. At first Cloud would write him back right after he received the letter, and now he just hadn�t bothered to respond at all. Zack couldn�t lie and say he wasn�t becoming frustrated with this because he was. He hadn�t seen Cloud in weeks, not since they had met at Angeal�s that time. But he at least wanted to be able to communicate with him somehow, and that�s why the letters were so important to him.

What if something had happened? Like if Saito had seen a letter that Cloud had written him...that would instantly put an end to those he supposed. And it wasn�t like he could see Cloud so easily these days. His father had him on a tight schedule of lessons only and then straight back home, and since he wasn�t allowed over there anymore...well, it left things really complicated.

�I�ve got to go,� Zack suddenly spoke up while rising from his seat. His friends all whined, asking him why and to stay longer and have another drink with them. But Zack just told them he remembered he had something he needed to do before exiting out of the tea house. Letting out a sigh he walked a few steps away from the restaurant before running a hand through his hair. This is how it always ended up. He couldn�t enjoy himself for very long before his mind drifted back to Cloud. Even when he was with his friends, he would feel guilty about not having Cloud there and wondering what Cloud was doing and how he was holding up. And then he would become angry and his whole mood would change. It wasn�t an easy thing to do to be separated like this, and Zack was seriously considering confronting Saito as the days went on. Sure he knew it wasn�t the best move, but his heart was saying otherwise when it came to that.

�Zack,� a woman�s voice spoke up, catching the Samurai�s attention. He turned in the direction of the voice and his eyes widened slightly.

�Hi Auntie,� he said a bit awkwardly before the woman smiled at him. He hadn�t seen Natsumi since that day when Saito told him that he didn�t want he and Cloud to see each other anymore.

�How are you sweetie?� Natsumi asked while grabbing the other in a tight hug.

�I�m good,� Zack replied while returning the embrace, �how are you?�

�I�m fine,� Natsumi said while pulling away with a smile. �Just in town getting some more fabric so I can finish those kimono for the Cherry Blossom Festival.�

�Oh that�s right, it�s coming up soon,� Zack explained while looking down to the bag that Natsumi was carrying.

�Yes,� she spoke with a nod, the wide smile never leaving her face but seeming to become a bit sad before she continued on. �I miss seeing you around.�

That comment took Zack by surprise, but only for a moment. He really shouldn�t have expected anything else. Natsumi was like a second mother to him, and while Saito may not exactly have liked him anymore he knew that Natsumi still cared. Even if she didn�t know the reason why Saito had wanted Cloud to stay away from him.

�Yeah...well, I miss being around. But,� he started while scratching the back of his head. �Um...how�s Cloud?�

Natsumi was silent and her eyes drifted away from Zack as her smile fell slightly completely. That alone caused Zack to become curious and a little worried actually.

�Auntie?�

�Honestly...I don�t know,� Natsumi began, �I mean he�s been upset because of what happened with you and Saito previously. But lately...I don�t know. I think something is wrong but he won�t talk to me about it and...Saito thinks I�m just worrying about nothing.�

�What makes you think somethings wrong?� Zack continued to push, desperate to get some information from his Aunt about Cloud.

�Just...how he�s acting. He barely even sleeps anymore, something is unsettling him,� Natsumi explained before shifting her gaze back to Zack. �You�re the only one he really tells things to. I don�t need to know what it is exactly but...maybe if he just talks to someone, he�ll feel better. I know he�s always confided in you...would you mind visiting him and try talking to him?�

�Auntie I-�

�Saito is going to be gone all day today. He won�t be back until late in the evening,� Natsumi explained with a shake of her head, �he�ll never know that you were there. Please, I think it would be really good for Cloud. I mean he�s cooped up back at home and he doesn�t get to see his friends....and I know he misses you. Maybe just seeing you for a while will make him feel a little better.�

Not hesitating for a moment Zack nodded. If he was openly getting a chance to see Cloud he definitely wasn�t about to pass it up. He didn�t want his Aunt getting on Saito�s bad side if he found out about it, so Zack told himself that he wouldn�t stay for very long just to be on the safe side. But he was definitely going to go and see Cloud and see how he was. If Natsumi was worrying over Cloud then Zack figured that Cloud must�ve been pretty down or something to make her worry.

Natsumi let a wide smile reappear on her face before she was insisting that they may as well head back now since she was done shopping. It didn�t take them long to make it back to the castle and within moments they were entering into the quarters.

�I should get lunch started,� Natsumi began while setting down her bags. �Cloud�s in his room. I�m certain he�s awake but you may just want to go in, he hasn�t really been answering when you knock.�

�Okay,� Zack replied before disappearing down the hallway. He paused briefly once he was in front of Cloud�s door, listening for any sound of movement on the other side. He didn�t hear anything so he decided to take Natsumi�s advice and just enter into the room. And if Cloud was sleeping he didn�t want to wake him since Natsumi had told him that Cloud hadn�t been sleeping too well lately.

He slid the door open carefully before peeking into the room. He saw Cloud laying on the bed with his back facing the door. The blankets were pulled up to his shoulders so that only his wild blonde spikes were visible. He seemed so small under the thin covers, maybe because he was scrunched up a little.

Zack closed the door softly behind him before walking over towards the bed. He didn�t sit down on it because he didn�t want to wake Cloud, but when he got closer he noticed that Cloud�s eyes were open and he seemed to just be staring straight ahead at nothing in particular.

�Cloud?� Zack asked softly.

Cloud made a small sound from his throat and shifted a little, but he didn�t turn his head or speak at all. Zack wondered if he was even aware that he was there.

�Cloud,� Zack tried again while reaching forward and shaking his shoulder a bit. Turning around slightly Cloud�s eyes widened as he seemed to snap out of his haze.

�Zack,� he said softly.

�Hey,� Zack began with a smile while taking a seat on the bed.

�What are you doing here?� Cloud asked while sitting up a little, �you have to leave my dad�s going to be home soon.�

�No,� Zack reassured him, �your mom told me to come here. She said your dad is going to be gone until late this evening. Don�t worry about that.�

�My mom told you to come here?� Cloud asked softly.

�Yeah,� Zack said with a nod, �she was worried about you. I can see why,� he finished while studying Cloud�s face. His skin looked more pale than usual, he had dark circles under his eyes and they were a bit puffy. The whites of his eyes were a little red, and he did in fact look a little smaller to Zack. Which made the Samurai take notice because he already thought Cloud was small to begin with.

�What�s wrong?� Zack asked while reaching out to touch the side of Cloud�s face. The blond instantly pulled away though and shook his head.

�I just haven�t been sleeping too well, I have a lot on my mind,� Cloud explained while slipping out of the bed.

�Like what?� Zack asked while following Cloud with his eyes.

There was a thick silence that fell over the room after that before Cloud made his way towards his closet and pulled out another blanket.

�You should go,� Cloud spoke quietly before making his way back over to the bed, dumping the other blanket on top of it.

�Are you cold?� Zack asked while glancing down to the second blanket, ignoring Cloud�s suggestion to leave.

�I�m fine,� Cloud replied while climbing back into the bed.

�Cloud you�re not fine,� Zack confirmed while looking the other over, �you�re going to make yourself sick if you keep this up.�

�I just need some sleep,� Cloud replied while placing his head back on his pillow and pulling the blankets up higher on him.

Well Zack knew that at least that much was true. Cloud looked exhausted, he had never seen him look so weary before and he had to wonder just how long his boyfriend had really gone without sleep.

�Okay,� Zack said while moving to run his fingers through blonde spikes.

�Don�t!� Cloud suddenly snapped while pulling away from Zack once more.

Pausing briefly Zack stared down at Cloud who just moved over closer to the other side of the bed. What had just happened? Zack wasn�t sure, maybe Cloud was just really irritable because he was so tired. But even then...something had just seemed sort of off. For not seeing each other for so long Zack was sure that Cloud would at least seem happy to see him, but aside from looking a bit surprised Cloud didn�t really seem to care much at all. He didn�t make any move to be close to him, no hug or kiss or anything. Even if he was dead tired, Zack thought that Cloud would at least want to cuddle up to him, maybe fall asleep in his arms. But it didn�t seem like Cloud even wanted Zack to touch him at all.

�Cloud,� Zack started, almost at a loss for words.

�I said you should go already,� Cloud said, his back facing Zack as he curled up with the blankets more.

�No,� Zack replied stubbornly, �not until you tell me what�s wrong.�

�I told you!� Cloud bit out before turning to look at Zack over his shoulder, �I�m tired! I just want to sleep, so go!�

�Why are you,� Zack started while placing his hand on Cloud�s arm that was hidden beneath the covers. But before he could finish the rest of his sentence Cloud had jerked away once more before sitting up compltelely.

�Don�t touch me,� Cloud said through clenched teeth. His eyes held the gloss of unshed tears but not one rolled down his face. �I don�t want you here right now! Just go!�

Zack was stunned, for lack of a better word. He had never seen Cloud this way and he felt completely out of his element here. He wanted to talk to Cloud, to try to do something to calm him but he honestly didn�t know what to do. He wasn�t dealing with Cloud�s temper, that he was used to. That he could wrangle and bring back under control. But this...this was something more than that. This was deeper and more complex. Zack really didn�t want to go, but he didn�t want to upset Cloud any further and make his mood any worse than it already was. And it really didn�t seem as if Cloud was up for talking at the moment now anyways.

�Okay,� Zack finally gave in while getting up from the bed. �Fine, I�ll go.�

Lowering his eyes Cloud stared down at the blankets as he listened to Zack�s footsteps become further away before they were stopping.

�Cloud...remember you can tell me anything,� Zack started softly while turning his gaze back towards the blond who was simply staring down at the bed. �I don�t...I don�t know when I�ll be able to see you again, so.� Pausing briefly he reached out for the door, getting ready to slide it open. �I love you,� he finished before pulling open the door and stepping out into the hall and closing it behind him.

Cloud listened until Zack�s footsteps got further away and then he heard his mother�s voice. The two seemed to be talking for awhile but Cloud couldn�t make out what they were saying as they seemed to have quieted their voices. He knew they were talking about him however. He didn�t want to make everyone worry about him, but honestly he didn�t know what else to do. He didn�t know how to act normal anymore, he didn�t feel normal anymore. Everything that he was so accustomed to seemed so different now. His whole world was turned upside down, so really, how was he supposed to just try to meld back into things as if everything was the same when it wasn�t. He had an internal battle going on in his mind, his thoughts and memories never resting and always tormenting him. A part of him wanted to call Zack back, he needed him, he needed comfort and his love. But another part of him couldn�t even bring himself to look at him, and his touch was enough to make Cloud feel a hundred times worse. Guilt, shame, repulsion. All at himself of course, but he couldn�t bring himself to speak any words to anyone about the conflict going on in his head. After all, what good would it do? Nothing would change, and nothing would get better. If anything it would only get worse.

Cloud felt the hot tears running down his face and he quickly wiped them away before lying back against his bed and pulling up the covers as he squeezed his eyes shut tight. He was so, so tired. He just wanted to sleep, to shut up his mind for two seconds and just rest. To have one night�s peaceful rest, that�s all he wanted. Maybe after that he would be able to think clearly and would be able to calm himself. But honestly, who was he kidding?

xxx

�Nobody�s coming for you this time Cloud,� Hojo said huskily before nipping at the boy�s ear. �Try to call for Angeal or your Samurai. They won�t come. Nor will your father, he was more than happy to send you here after all.�

�Please,� Cloud started while turning his head to the opposite side, �don�t do this. Just let me go.�

�We had a deal Cloud, and I have no intention of letting you back out on that now,� Hojo continued while letting his hands run down the front of Cloud�s chest. �But whether or not we struck up that deal hardly matters. I told you I always get what I want Cloud, and what I want is you,� he punctuated with a kiss to the boy�s collar bone, �and I want you now. No more running. So the question is will you submit willingly? Or will I have to take you by force?�

A choked sob came from Cloud�s throat as he squeezed his eyes shut. Was Hojo actually doing this? There was no room for discussion any longer it seemed and the Shogun�s patience had run thin. So was that really what he was left with? Those two options? No, he had to be able to get out of this mess. He couldn�t just accept it so easily.

His eyes fluttered open but he kept his gaze downwards still, blinking out more tears that he couldn�t seem to control.

�If you just submit it�ll be easier for both of us,� Hojo continued while tilting up Cloud�s chin. �I don�t want to hurt you Cloud.�

�Then,� Cloud started shakily while gently pushing against the man, �if you don�t want to hurt me...you wouldn�t say this to me at all. Just let me leave...please.�

�Cloud,� Hojo began while cupping his face, �Shh. It�s alright. You�re getting yourself so worked up about this. I assure you it�ll be okay. If you�ll only cooperate with me.�

What was he saying!? Of course he was getting worked up about this! The Shogun made it seem as if it were a normal occurence! Well, for him it probably was. After all Cloud wasn�t the first young boy to be in the Shogun�s chambers. Did he do this same thing to all of them? Did they willing go along with it? Did they fear defying him because he was the Shogun? Or were they scared just like he was...did they fight back?

Cloud wasn�t sure, but all he knew was that he couldn�t just go along with this! Hojo was saying if he just submitted and complied with him, that he wouldn�t hurt him...that he didn�t want to force himself on him. But either way you looked at it he was being forced.

�Tell me,� Hojo said softly while letting his hand run up Cloud�s arm gently. �Have you never done this before?�

Letting out a shaky breath Cloud turned his face away and cast his gaze downward. Why was he doing this? And to ask him something so personal...well, Cloud guessed it didn�t matter to Hojo.

�I have to admit that at first when I thought about you I imagined how it would be to be the one who explored this with you for the first time,� Hojo explained. �However now I�m not so sure since that Samurai was in the picture. Perhaps this isn�t new to you at all then. Maybe that�ll calm your nerves.�

The feel of kisses being placed on his neck caused Cloud to tense and he fought with the thought of whether to try pushing the man away again or do nothing. He felt sick to his stomach but he was scared to upset Hojo anymore than he already had.

�Am I right?� Hojo asked quietly while pulling away briefly.

�You have no right to talk to me about him,� Cloud replied in as steady of a voice as he could manage while finally meeting the other�s gaze once more.

A smirk appeared on the Shogun�s face before he was leaning back in, only inches away from Cloud�s lips.

�Very well then,� he replied, �he�s in the past anyhow. I won�t mention him or the relationship you and he had.�

Pressing his lips against Cloud�s the blond let out a muffled sound. He kept his eyes open and his hands splayed across the man�s chest, trying to keep some distance between them instead of feeling Hojo�s body pressed against his. He shifted his gaze towards the long hallway that led to the entrance. Suppose he made a run for it. If he could make it down that entryway and out of the doors, surely he would be able to leave wouldn�t he? Hojo wouldn�t leave out of the quarters and cause a scene. But then again the Shogun�s chambers were pretty isolated from anywhere else so it�s not as if anybody would hear. Then there was also the guards that stood by his door. Would they catch him? He wasn�t a threat to the Shogun so would they honestly try to restrain him? Did they even care or know what was going on behind the closed doors?

If he could make it down the hall...he would have a pretty good chance. He could run quickly. The Shogun would be angry with him that�s for sure, but Cloud was willing to deal with whatever repercussions at this moment.

Hojo�s hand was resting on his shoulder, while his other was cupping Cloud�s face as he continued to kiss him. Not too much of a hold on him, and the hand on his shoulder was relaxed and not gripping as it had been beforehand when he had pushed him against the wall. He was sort of pinned between the wall and Hojo, but not enough where he couldn�t slip out. He guessed Hojo was starting to relax by this point and wasn�t so on guard as he had been previously. If he was going to try to run this would be a good time while Hojo had his guard down so to speak.

Without taking time to second guess himself Cloud pushed the other away with all of his strength, not taking the time to watch him as he stumbled but instead bolting headlong for the entryway. He was only vaguely aware of the man calling his name angrily behind him before he heard footsteps approaching rapidly. He practically slammed into the double doors at the end of the hallway before grasping the handle and pulling hard on it, waiting for the heavy door to creak open...

But it didn�t.

�No!� Cloud cried. What was wrong with it!? Why didn�t it open!? Was it locked? He didn�t lock it from the inside upon entering, it should�ve been unlocked! How did that happen?

Strong arms wrapping around his waist caused a sense of dread to overtake him and he began to panic. He kept his grip on the handle as he felt Hojo pulling at his waist, trying to move him away from the door.

�Let go of me!� Cloud shouted as new tears of frustration sprang from his eyes. He was so close, so so close to getting out of there! And the stupid doors wouldn�t open! Why? He didn�t understand.

�I thought you may try something like that,� Hojo growled while reaching forward to pry Cloud�s hand off of the door handle.

�No!� Cloud screamed while trying to fight the other off of him, �what did you do!?�

�Isn�t it obvious?� Hojo asked with a dark chuckle.

No! It wasn�t obvious to Cloud. All he knew was that he had gotten locked in here somehow, how Hojo did it he wasn�t sure and at the moment he couldn�t even think straight to try to figure out what must�ve happened.

Finally prying his fingers from off of the handle Hojo pulled Cloud back, a bit too roughly before letting go of him as he collapsed onto the floor.

�So that�s your answer is it?� Hojo asked while glaring down at the blond. �You want to do this the hard way.�

Turning to try to scramble to his feet Cloud let out a cry when he felt a weight on top of him that crushed him to the floor.

�You�re done running,� Hojo bit out while raising himself up a bit to flip Cloud over onto his back.

�Stop!� Cloud shrieked, while flinging his arms outward when he felt the man�s hands begin to pull at his clothing. He managed to hit Hojo in the face just a bit to knock his glasses askew, but it wasn�t nearly enough to stop him. The Shogun paused momentarily to pull off his glasses before setting them aside quickly before he was pinning Cloud back to the floor.

�You�re Excellency, please!� Cloud cried in a desperate plea. His wrist were now both pinned above his head and the other was straddling his waist, holding him down with the weight of his body.

Hojo glared down at him, his breathing slightly heavy from the small scuffle that they had just gotten in. It was then that Cloud noticed a small cut under the man�s eye, he must�ve scratched him when he hit his glasses.

�I told you what your options were,� Hojo began while shifting a bit, �and you refused to listen. You�ve made your choice, so you only have yourself to blame for this,� he finished before harshly pulling Cloud upward by his wrist before climbing off of him. He pulled him up to his feet before dragging him down the hallway and back into the common area, but he continued to drag him further and down another hallway in the spacious quarters. Cloud was trying to dig his feet into the ground to stop himself from being dragged throughout the place but it wasn�t doing any good at all, and Hojo�s grip on his wrist was so tight that he thought it might break.

Within a few more agonizing seconds Hojo had slid open a door that revealed a dark bedroom. It took Cloud�s eyes a moment to adjust but once they did he realized that this was the room that he had woken up in that night when he had passed out at the dinner.

He tried to grab the frame of the door as Hojo dragged him inside but he was pulled too hard to even really catch a grip on it at all. He was pushed onto the large bed in the center of the room before Hojo was crossing the room to shut the door.

At the sound of the door closing shut Cloud practically accepted what was really going to happen and he already started to fall apart inside, although he had already been falling apart on the outside if his tears and shaking were anything to go by.

Hojo was in front of him in a minute, peering down at him in a way that made Cloud feel both scared and surprisingly childish. It all really started to sink in for him. This man was...the Shogun. He was the most powerful man in Edo. He was much older and for that fact was supposed to be much wiser, even though Cloud could disagree with that. But it didn�t change the fact that he was still way more superior to him. Cloud was just a kid, the Chamberlain�s son. He had no real status aside from that and was simply just a regular kid. To think that he could really avoid this man at all from the begining was laughable.

Cloud cringed when Hojo reached forward, letting his hand travel downwards before stopping at the obi around his waist. He automatically felt himself become defensive again and he moved to pull away, but Hojo was quicker than that and had pushed Cloud back onto the bed before climbing on top of him.

�Don�t make me any more angry Cloud,� Hojo explained in a surprisingly calm voice. �I intended to treat you gently but I don�t see that happening now.�

The only thing Cloud could do was cover his face with his hands and cry as Hojo continued to work at his clothing. It didn�t take much time at all before the Shogun had rid him of his clothing, letting his hands explore the young, supple body beneath him. It was too much for Cloud, he didn�t know how to handle it or what to do. His mind was reeling and he felt like he was going to vomit at any moment. He couldn�t bring himself to look, he kept his eyes closed or his hands over his eyes. But Hojo for some reason didn�t seem to like him covering his eyes and he removed his hands from his face harshly.

�I want to see your expressions,� Hojo had said to him sometime during the ordeal with an amused smirk on his face that made Cloud want to slap it away.

But after that, sometime through most of it Cloud became numb to it all. He had to try to zone out and go somewhere else in his mind if he was going to get through it. It was as if he was there but he wasn�t. He was aware of the kisses, of the touches but he quickly tried to forget them just as quick as they came. Although that was easier said than done. Hojo had meant what he said, he had no intention on being gentle. Even his kisses became more rough, dominating and ovebearing. He was not his lover and that was clear. His touches were harsh and gripping, not soft and fleeting. His hands didn�t touch him in a way that was loving, but rather in a way that was lustful. His eyes didn�t look at him adoringly, but hungrily. And the sounds that the man would make were in no way arousing to him but instead made him feel even more sick to his stomach.

He didn�t feel the exciting tingle when their bodies were pressed together. It didn�t warm him when he felt the feel of skin on skin, but rather sent a cold, unnerving chill down his spine.

And when Hojo entered him it was not pleasureable at all. There was no preparation or warning, just the violent, rough thrust of his hips against his which caused Cloud to scream out in pain. That however only seemed to excite Hojo and made him move harder and faster, causing Cloud more and more pain as he cried out each time.

There was nothing at all �loving� about the act. It was never about that. It was simply a lustful desire that Hojo had for the blond that he needed to quelch. And fortunately for him he did so that night, twice in fact. And when it was all over he laid there for a moment to calm himself and then he was redressing and left the room. Cloud didn�t know where he went at that time, and honestly he was too weary and in too much pain to care.

He shifted in the bed carefully, wincing at the searing pain that shot up his spine. Lifting himself up slightly he moved to reach down for the blanket. If he was going to have to stay here for the rest of the night he didn�t want to be so openly exposed, and hopefully Hojo would allow him this much at least. He ignored the crimson stains on the white sheets as he pulled the blanket up higher towards him before falling tiredly back onto the bed. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically...but he was too broken to fall asleep. The only thing he could do was clutch the blankets to him and cry. And hope and wish desperately that now that the Shogun had gotten what he wanted that he would leave him alone. That that would be the end of it all, and hopefully...this nightmare could just finally be over.
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