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Whispered Screams	By : AngryAngel Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 6957 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 13
- 14
- 15
Pivoting on the spot in an
almost perfect half circle, feeling the soothing touch of strong hands fading
like a shadow from the concave curve of his waist, Squall distanced himself
from the man who was neither his enemy, friend nor lover. To tag the blonde
with such clich� labels would have been far too troublesome and much too
complex of a burden, anyhow � one that Squall was definitely not willing to
shoulder. Naturally, he harbored an unspoken preference concerning those three
particular options, but unfortunately, he believed that this choice was not for
him to make.
�Like I ever had a
choice in my entire fucking life...�
Eyes of unreadable grey
narrowed momentarily and ventured around the room until they locked unto the
vacant, black surface of the TV screen. Squall�s focused but unseeing gaze
lingered there for a while, reliving the sting of a past that was as fresh as
the cut furrowed into the flesh of his palm, when the shallow pain of something
digging into his left biceps finally registered with his mind.
�Seifer.�
Of course, who else would
it have been? There was nobody else in the room aside from Seifer and the
invisible, blood starved demons that would forever haunt and torture Squall,
day and night, for the rest of his life that was still to come. The brunette
thought it a redundant gesture to turn around and face his classmate, or
perhaps even a scary one in a way; in any case, he would�ve rather avoided any
kind of visual contact.
�Squall.�
The thin line of Squall�s
mouth hardened as every fraction of his being cringed over the sound of his own
name. He arched away from the other boy�s hand in a half-hearted attempt at
escape, but Seifer didn�t bargain so cheaply and only wrung Squall�s arm more
tightly in return. The blonde didn�t exert enough pressure to inflict pain upon
his younger companion, but nonetheless, Squall bristled against the physical
contact like a wild animal against captivity.
Seifer frowned when he
felt tone muscles contracting beneath skin that was smooth and cold as marble �
Squall was trying to make a break for it, again. Perhaps Seifer should have
expected as much, and he probably had, but it made Squall�s renunciative nature
no easier to deal with.
�Where are you going?� he
asked, willing the coloring of his voice to remain neutral for the moment.
He saw Squall�s neck
shifting slightly as his chin drooped towards his chest in a gesture of defeat,
but the brunette didn�t turn to meet his gaze.
�Where am I going? What
a stupid question. Away from you. Away from everything. Do I really need to lay
it out for you? Don�t make it harder than it already is.�
�... Nowhere.�
The corners of Seifer�s
lips curved upwards upon hearing that evasive reply and at the way that Squall
was shunning him so obviously, but the tender smile never reached the hypnotic
green of his eyes.
�You�re running away,� he
stated sedately. �It�s quite simple, really.�
A toneless laugh, bleached
of any sense of humor, was the sole feedback that his remark managed to coax
out of the brunette. Then, Squall pushed forward, trying to take yet another
step into the distance, but the blonde was rooting him to the spot with the
unyielding fortitude of a rock. Finally, the brunette straightened his back and
raised his chin into the air in a false gesture of pride, before he turned
towards the older boy with the darkest and coldest of eyes.
Seifer only studied him
calmly, retaining a sense of control over the situation that Squall had lost
long ago.
�I have no reason to run
away,� the brunette bit cynically, forcing a cool edge into his voice as he
cleared a few astray strands of hair from his sight with a curt flick of his
long fingers.
Seifer nodded in response,
making no sound. His hand was still curled around Squall�s biceps, consequently
keeping them less than an arm�s length apart.
�That�s exactly right,� he
drawled languidly, before he suddenly yanked the brunette towards himself,
until their bodies were almost touching and he could gaze down into those
fogged up orbs of grey blue that just didn�t want to see. �You don�t. So why
are ya running anyway?�
Lacing his eyebrows
together, Squall snorted at the challenging tone that accompanied that
question.
�You�re so goddamn full of
yourself, Almasy,� he sneered, fully meaning for the words to sting. �You think
you�re such a know-it-all, but you don�t know a fucking thing.�
An outraged gasp stole
from the tip of his tongue when Seifer took hold of his other arm as well and
connected their bodies by the chest with yet another forceful tug.
�Yeah, maybe you�re
right,� the blonde affirmed while breathing evenly unto the milky patch of skin
close to Squall�s ear. �But in any case, I�d rather deal with the situation as
it is than simply turn around and run away with my tail between my legs.�
Squall�s eyes flared with
quickly incensed anger and his voice rose distinctly in pitch when he spoke.
�Are you calling me a coward?�
�No,� Seifer replied
simply.
�Then back the hell off!�
The blonde�s lips eased
into the tiniest of smiles � a gesture that was situated somewhere between jeer
and kindness, Squall couldn�t quite tell for sure, but either way he didn�t
like it.
�Don�t fuck with me!� he
spat, the words coming out more hysteric than he would�ve liked.
�I�m not fucking with
you,� Seifer soothed, feeling Squall�s chest heaving harshly against his own as
the boy drew frenetic breaths through gnashed teeth. �Tsk. You know, I should
be the one worrying about being mind-fucked here. Two minutes ago, you were
clinging to me as if hugs were goin� out of style and now you don�t even wanna
look at me! If you�ve got some kind of split personality problem, I�d really
love knowin� about it right fuckin� now.�
�Fuck you!�
With vicious
determination, Squall attempted to break out of Seifer�s intimate grasp. His
earlier need to be held and touched by the older youth had long evaporated, and
even if the wish of being close to him hadn�t, he wouldn�t cease trying
to banish the stain of that feeling from deep inside his heart. They needed
distance between them, as much of it as possible - for as long as it would take
the ornery blonde to finally give up.
But give up what,
exactly?
�... Until he gives up
trying to annoy the crap out of me. Until he gives up trying to lecture and... befriend
me. Until he gives up on everything that has to do with me. Yeah... it�s that
goddamn simple.�
Squall might have sounded
perfectly callous and uncaring, yet the prospect of Seifer eventually forsaking
him tore a swath of pain into his heart. Nothing in his life had been easy,
that much was for certain, but to push Seifer away would be one of the hardest
tasks he�d ever have to see through.
�I really am
pathetic...�
A vicious, meandering pain
had begun to pierce the space behind his forehead, but he disregarded the
annoying sensation as best as he could. With a sigh, he realized that Seifer
was still welding their bodies together, as if that desperate embrace was going
to change anything at all. In reality, it did nothing but complicate matters
for the brunette.
�Do you really think I�m
just fuckin� with you...?�
Unconsciously, Squall
flinched at the question and Seifer�s fading breath that still tingled across
the nape of his neck. He had feared that the blonde would eventually come to
assume something along those lines. Worst of all, Seifer was completely right �
because in the end, the brunette couldn�t possibly bring himself to believe
that a happy-go-lucky jock like Seifer would ever harbor any serious or
permanent interest in him.
And if he did...?
�It makes no
difference. None. None at all.�
Even though his heart was
in a concerning state of imbalance, the pale skinned boy shrugged softly and
scrunched up his nose as if he had not a single worry in the world.
�Tche. Whatever.�
He could almost hear
Seifer�s patience trickling away, slowly perhaps, but trickling all the same.
Squall knew perfectly well that each carelessly muttered �whatever� grated over
the blonde�s nerves like nails on a chalk board. In the end, he figured, it
would simply be a matter of time before Seifer would snap just like everyone
else before him.
Apparently, however, that
�time� hadn�t come just yet, because Seifer neither walked out on him nor beat
him to the ground in annoyance. All he did was stand there, producing some kind
of unsettling smile that thoroughly irritated the brunette.
�That�s what it is, isn�t
it?� Seifer noted with satisfaction, as if he had finally unveiled the source
of Squall�s odd behavior. �You really think I�m just playing with you. That�s
why you�re being so goddamn uptight.�
If Seifer had expected
fanfares and confetti for his brilliant discovery, he had to have been utterly
disappointed. Squall�s meager acknowledgement of his theory was a mocking,
almost commiserating snort. Frankly, the brunette wasn�t the least bit
surprised that Seifer�s train of thought would run in such simple, predictable
tracks. In the end, he was just another dumb football jock.
Chuckling through
half-parted lips, he inched backwards to face Seifer down, a frosty glint sparking
in his strident grey orbs that were harder than steel.
�Don�t flatter yourself.
To be honest, I really don�t give a shit about you or your intentions.�
Without giving any kind of
physical or vocal warning, he swatted the blonde�s arms away to step to the
side, and this time, Seifer let him go. Perhaps he had been insulted by the
brunette�s mean spirited reply, or he had simply grown tired of sandwiching
them together � either way, it was of little interest to Squall. Raking a
slender hand through his disheveled hair, he took a few hurried strides away
from Seifer�s rigid form and towards the door. He was mildly astonished when
the blonde did nothing to stop him, but on the other hand, it suited him just
fine.
�Not like this whole
thing isn�t already tedious enough.�
Seifer watched him
disappearing from the room, quite unsure of what to think or do. A small,
disgruntled frown creased his brows at the thought of having been snubbed yet
again; honestly, Squall�s abrupt mood changes always managed to throw him
completely off balance. Perhaps the brunette really was just frightened
and insecure, or then again, perhaps he totally didn�t care whose feelings he
trampled over. For the time being, Seifer could rule out neither of those
options.
Grunting, he rolled his
shoulders in a smooth shrug and shook his head with a subdued grunt.
�Stubborn brat.�
Whistling some falsely
cheery (but oddly convincing) tune, he tracked down his dark haired companion
in the hallway outside the bedroom. Squall was kneeling on the hardwood floor,
dust pan and broom already in hand. The seventeen year old was sweeping up the
fragments of broken glass and hackled white flowers with fierce, nervous
movements and his typical scowl firmly in place.
Sighing, Seifer tilted his
head sideways and submerged his hands in the pockets of his shorts as he leaned
smugly against the door frame.
�You want help or what?�
he asked gruffly.
With the demure tacitness
of a tomb, Squall shot the blonde a long, icy glare that cut through him with
the poignancy of invisible daggers.
�Gee, guess I�ll take that
as a no,� Seifer noted with a tight grimace.
Squall said nothing.
Instead, he devoted all of his attention to his broom and pan as if it they
were the single most interesting things in the world. Seifer watched him from
his position by the door with a scrutinizing eye. Occasionally, he�d see an air
of impatience and annoyance pass over the brunette�s face at the concept of
being stared at, but Squall managed to finish his cleaning task without
cracking a single sound or looking back at Seifer even once. His silence was
quite an accomplishment, really, considering that he was squatting mere inches
from the blonde�s feet and his slashed wrists were burning raw with white hot
pain when performing even the simplest of movements.
Finally, after he had
removed even the tiniest specks of glass from the freshly waxed surface of the
wooden floor boards, Squall rose back to full height. His short intake of
breath and the way his forearm instinctively fluttered across his face gave him
a look of exhaustion. Seifer realized this, of course, but his dark haired
classmate had already replaced his vacant mask and brushed past him to rid
himself of the broken vase by dumping it into the garbage can in his bathroom.
Squall�s used bandages were in there, too, concealed beneath extensive tufts of
toilet paper. He wasn�t worried about his mother or the maid discovering them
since he usually emptied his trash on his own, but he also thought it better to
be safe than sorry.
When Squall returned after
the completion of his task, he found Seifer still folded nonchalantly against
the door and watching him out of the corner of his intense peridot eyes. The
brunette ignored the probing look-over and returned his cleaning tools to the
broom closet down the hallway. He wasn�t quite sure how he was possibly going
to survive a family breakfast scenario involving Seifer Almasy, but all of his
escape routes had been severed with disconcerting efficiency.
He had no idea who was to
blame for his precarious situation, but at this point, there was no path left
for him to take but the one that lead straight forward.
�Let�s go,� he ordered
crisply, letting on nothing about his fragile state of both body and mind.
�She�s waiting.�
After a moment of silence,
Seifer finally pried himself from his position by the wall, his hands still
tucked into his pockets. Squall stood at the top of the stairs and watched him
approaching with an air of wariness in his posture. The blonde�s eyes were
glued to his own silvery blue ones in a passionate sense of focus, never
straying once. That hypnotic gaze sent spikes of heat through Squall�s veins
like a very lethal kind of poison, weakening his knees; he could feel his limbs
quivering like feathers caught in the wind. One calculated look from Seifer�s
eyes could cause the world to tilt � Squall�s world, more precisely � and it
scared the brunette much more than any pain-induced or blood-fortified threat
of his stepfather�s ever had.
Letting out a small gasp,
Squall quickly veered his head around to glare down the staircase. His hand
reached for the rail to wrestle it for much needed support, but before his
fingers could have reached the smooth wood, his elbow had bumped into something
strangely solid.
�Whatcha waitin� for?�
Retracting his hand,
Squall glanced across his shoulder. Seifer was smirking down at him, cocky as
ever. Huffing, Squall quickly strode down the carpeted stairs.
�Not for you,
that�s for damn sure,� he snapped back, his inflection cruel.
He pretended not to hear
Seifer�s content growl of laughter and marched on ahead downstairs. Inwardly,
he was shifting with stress. The sound of Seifer�s footsteps padding behind him
was both soothing and unnerving in an almost perverse manner.
He hated it so much he
could hardly breathe.
Perhaps Seifer was right,
at least in some aspect; Squall certainly was not suffering of a
multiple personality disorder, but even so, he seemed to have strayed closer to
the brink of insanity than ever before. He knew what he had to do and had
developed a vague concept of how to go about it, but something inside of him
was screaming at the mere thought of being alone once more. It wasn�t even so
much the wish of being with just anyone, either � he had learned to repress his
neediness concerning friendship and intimacy a long time ago � as it was a
sapling desire to be close to that particular impudent, loud-mouthed blonde.
�Seifer...�
Squall shook his head in
frantic denial as he calmly continued his descent.
In the end, he knew better
than to ask for something he could never have.
By the time they had
reached the foot of the stairs, Squall�s formerly blunt headache had
transformed into an agonizing migraine. He was thinking too much, of course,
but it was difficult not to. The only thing that finally managed to tear him
out of his stupor was Seifer�s hand pressing his shoulder with a touch that was
neither gentle nor firm.
�Hey. What�s going on
inside that stubborn head of your�s, huh? You look like Christmas has been
canceled.�
Contrary to his grip,
Seifer�s words were silky and persuasive. Squall liked the rasp growl that
always accompanied the other youth�s tone; he actually found it quite
comforting, as odd or inconvenient as that might have been.
Still, he slapped the
blonde�s arm aside without any hint of kindness. Seifer hadn�t expected much
else, although the sharp lines of his face coiled like agitated rattle snakes.
�Pretty boy�s really
pushing his luck today. Why the hell am I putting up with his attitude again?�
A glance at Squall�s
beautifully curved ivory neck framed by wisps of chocolate brown hair and the
perfect cling of faded blue jeans against tone gluteal muscles refreshed
Seifer�s memory quite instantly.
�Oh. Yeah... That�s
right...�
He swallowed the longing sigh
from his tongue and quickly followed Squall�s brisk lead. The brunette crossed
the lobby and entered a seemingly random hallway that was decorated with
another dozen of his hand-painted pictures. There were some photographs, too,
but Seifer had no chance to study any of them more closely. In front of him,
Squall had passed through a set of sliding glass panel doors and emerged in a
bright, sun kissed room that Seifer recognized by its tempting smell alone.
�Mhh... pancakes! I�m
starving, man!�
He stopped short next to
the brunette and took a subtle look around. The kitchen was huge, but not at
all uninviting. Expensive wooden cabinets and a marble topped cooking island
contrasted interestingly with the whimsical sunflower wallpaper and the
terracotta tiled floor. The warm, homely scent emitted from a cast iron skillet
that Squall�s mother was shifting around on a hotplate had Seifer sighing with
rapture.
�This smells awesome!� he
exclaimed blithely, causing Raine to turn and look at him in surprise.
�Oh, there you are,� she
noted contently. �I hope you�re hungry, you two. Go on, have a seat!�
She motioned towards the
large dining table situated right by a number of floor length windows that
granted an extensive view of the beautiful stone patio outside. Even from his
current position, Seifer could spot a set of teak furniture and a huge yellow
parasol swaying softly in the breeze as it dispensed shade to the birds hopping
about, picking crumbs from some preceding meal and day.
�I figured we�d better eat
inside since there�s a lot of bees swarming around the patio,� Raine explained
as she noticed Seifer�s interest. �I think there might be a nest somewhere,
Squall. Your dad said he�d take a look at it when he comes home from the golf
court, so please stay away from the porch until then.�
The brunette stiffened
immediately, but nobody aside from Seifer seemed to have acknowledged that
blatant change in Squall�s posture. Then again, Seifer thought, perhaps he was
just seeing things.
�That�s fine,� Squall
suddenly growled in an almost insulted tone. �You don�t need to wait for him.
I�ll do it after breakfast.�
Saying nothing further, he
walked over to the table and sank into the corner bench. After a moment of
hesitation, Seifer followed him and picked a spot to the brunette�s right. The
bench was awfully comfy and he found himself bouncing in the cushions in
playful excitement � well, until he caught a sideway glimpse of Squall�s most
lethal and intimidating death glare, anyway.
�... And thus, from
this day forth, he shalt be known as Sir Glaresalot, the pissed off brat who
laid waste to a thousand men with his crankiness alone! Hail, Sir Glaresalot!�
�... What�s so fucking
funny?�
He blinked as that hissed
question diced his colorful imagination. Apparently, his lips had stretched
into a very wide, toothy grin without his own awareness. Squall looked less
than pleased over his giddy expression, so he wiped the smirk from his face and
replaced it with an air of most misleading innocence.
�Oh, nothin�. Nothin� at
all,� he lilted.
�Whaddayaknow,
Glaresalot�s on to me. I better lay low or he�ll glare off my arm and snack on
it like the vicious lil thing he is. Cannibalism�s the last thing I�d put past
his treacherous ass. Hm... I kinda wonder if I taste any good with syrup? Ahh,
I think I�d rather sample him instead. I�d have to slather some ice
cream on the sucker first to cool down the bitchiness, though. So then, on
today�s menu: Glaresalot A La Mode!�
This time, the blonde
couldn�t keep from cackling with glee. He tried to keep the volume to the
barest minimum by snorting in his closed mouth rather than chuckling in the
open, but regardless of his efforts, Squall seemed prepared (and all too
willing) to shove his entire set of silver wear up his nose.
Luckily, Seifer was saved
by Raine placing a foot-high pile of pancakes on the table before them.
�What are you two laughing
about?� she asked serenely and brushed back her long, brown hair with a curious
smile.
Apparently, she had
overlooked the murderous glint in Squall�s eyes.
�It�s not �you two�
who�s laughing, it�s him! That fucking psycho. God only knows what his
sick brain is working up this time.�
Issuing a vague grunt,
Squall sunk his fork into the pile and slapped five thick pancakes on Seifer�s
plate. There were bowls of fruit, a pitcher with orange juice, a tub of whipped
cream and some maple syrup, too, all of which the brunette shoved across the
table into his companion�s direction.
�Help yourself,� he bit
grimly, making it sound more like an invitation to lob Seifer off the nearest
bridge rather than an offer to make himself at home.
�Aww, you�re being awfully
grumpy this morning, honey,� his mother chided immediately, before ruffling his
tousled head in a loving gesture. �Seifer, sweetie, do you want anything else?
Coffee maybe?�
�Nah, I�m good. Thanks,
Miss Leonhart.�
The beautiful brunette
smiled again. �Just Raine.�
�Oh, right...�
Seifer liked that name.
Raine... It suited her, really. The blonde�s own mother was called Elaine
Cassandra Almasy; a rightfully sophisticated name, mind you. His mother was a
pretty nice woman and all, of course, caring and protective to a fault, but she
definitely lacked Raine�s soft and comforting aura. The dark haired female was
the kind of person who naturally made anyone feel welcome.
�Too bad she didn�t
pass any of that on to her hot son, eh?�
Grinning, Seifer drowned
his pancakes in a sea of syrup and mountains of fruit. Just the sweet scent
alone was making him so fucking hungry! Squall, on the other hand, didn�t seem
to be too fond of sugary condiments. He was eating his pancakes dry with some
chopped walnuts and strawberries, looking fashionably gloomy.
�Are ya watchin� your
petite lil� figure, or what?� Seifer teased as he happily stuffed his face and
nudged his friend into the side with the tireless enthusiasm of a puppy dog.
�You could use some meat on your bones, ya know. You�re pretty skinny.�
Critically, Squall eyed
the blonde�s stack of food and produced a chortling sound, low in his throat.
�Not everyone wants to die
a sugar induced death, thanks.�
�It�d be a sweet death,
anyhow,� Seifer countered, licking his fork with a sultry grin.
�Moron.�
Munching his pancakes and
nursing his glass of juice, Seifer eventually shifted his focus to Raine, who
had returned to the stove to prepare another batch of her sinfully good
breakfast treat. It was then that he was struck by the realization that someone
important was missing.
�Uh... where�s his
sister, anyway?�
As if Squall had read that
question from the canvas of his mind, the brunette narrowed his eyes after he
had swallowed a small sip of orange juice and finally raised his voice above
its usual level of monotony.
�Mom, where�s Ell?�
�Oh, she went to use the
bathroom. I think she wanted to go up to her room to get something as well,�
Raine replied lightly, before winking at Seifer. �I�m afraid she�s really
excited to show you her Barbie collection, Seifer. She seemed rather impressed
with your knowledge of the Barbie Dream House.�
�Really...� Seifer
drawled, laughing roughly. �Well, it�s one pink architectural disaster, but I
s�pose I can understand her fascination. If I was Ken, I�d move my ass right
the fuck in! Eh... uh, �scuse me. That kinda slipped out.�
Raine, however, seemed not
outraged but amused by his honest embarrassment.
�That�s okay sweetie - but
don�t let Ell hear it, she has a remarkable memory when it comes to four letter
words. We really have to watch it around her.�
�Hehe.�
Next to Seifer, Squall had
stopped picking at his food and was glancing at the blonde from beneath
half-shuttered eyes, which had lit up with curiosity.
�How do you know about all
this Barbie stuff, anyway? Do you have a sister or something?� he asked calmly,
quite despite his usual, indifferent self.
�No,� Seifer elaborated
readily. �An ex-kinda-girlfriend of mine was into the whole collector�s thing.
Had her entire apartment plastered with Barbies. Kinda creepy, if you ask me. Well,
she was kooky anyway.�
To his surprise, Squall
hastily returned his gaze to his plate without offering any kind of reply � not
even so much as an ill-tempered grunt. From her position by the stove, Raine
watched with subtle interest how cool, green eyes were now boring into the
rigid profile of her son, looking adorably confused and pleading for some kind
of elaboration on Squall�s sour grimace.
This Seifer... she knew
near nothing about him, but there was something about the way that he gazed at
Squall and interacted with him that seemed rather peculiar. In any case, she
didn�t find herself disliking it; he was the first person that Squall had
brought home in years, let alone have a sleep-over with, and that was plenty of
reason to make Seifer a boy who was naturally dear to her heart.
�Nii-chan! Seifie!�
Seifer almost choked on
his pancake when the tiny brunette that was Squall�s sister came tripling into
the kitchen with one purple plastic horse and at least five Barbies and Ken
dolls plus accessories pooled in the small space between her crossed arms. Even
Squall gave a hoarse cough, before he jumped up from his seat to rush to her
assistance.
�Ell, what are you doing?�
he asked with incredulity, though he could predict her answer perfectly well.
�Seifie said... Seifie
said he wanted to see my Barbies!� she squealed, slightly out of breath as she
supervised very closely how her brother placed her precious toys on the kitchen
table.
�... His name is Seifer,�
the brunette corrected her delicately, grimacing as if he had taken a square
bite out of a lemon.
Ellone regarded her older
sibling with a look that suggested neither understanding nor interest.
Literally ignoring Squall�s lecture concerning her new friend�s proper name,
she happily climbed up on the bench and scooted into the seat next to Seifer�s,
beaming as she was holding the violently purple Barbie horse into the air by
one of its hind legs.
�Look, Seifie,� she
commanded, pleased to see that Seifer immediately obeyed. �This is Six.�
�Six?� the tall youth
asked, tilting his head in a funny angle. �Uh... That�s a great name, Ell, but
why Six?�
Shrugging, she pushed the
horse into the blonde�s arms. She was still trying to untangle her short legs
beneath her on the bench, but finally she had settled into a somewhat
comfortable position. Seifer studied the horse with interest that seemed so
genuine that it even fooled a skeptic Squall, who had sank back down by the
older teen�s other side and was monitoring the scene warily. He wasn�t sure how
much he liked Ellone�s obvious infatuation with Seifer � no, actually, he knew
that he didn�t like it. His sister wasn�t accustomed to him bringing
over friends and he certainly wasn�t planning of turning this one-time event
into a habit. He thought himself more clever than that.
In the end, friends and
romance were both luxuries that he could not afford.
Ell, however, was elated
over having bonded with someone who was taller than three feet and didn�t get
food all over himself when he ate, like most of her other male friends. She
excitedly gathered all of her toys around Seifer�s plate and accidentally
dunked Tea Party Ken head-first into a bowl of whipped cream. On second
thought, however, she really seemed to fancy the idea, because she quickly had
Shopping Spree Barbie join her plastic bodied companion on his involuntary trip
to dairy land.
�Ell, what are you doing?�
She looked up at her
mother�s cry of disbelief, her big brown eyes na�ve and innocent as ever.
�They�re hungry, too,� she
explained patiently while stirring Ken in circles, round and round, wearing a
sweet smile. �Right, Seifie?�
Seifer, who was
desperately trying not to laugh despite his ribs threatening to crack from the
strain, could hear Squall next to him choking on his pancake with surprise. Even
the serious brunette seemed humored by his sister�s silly antics, because there
was a cute sparkle in his eyes and a rare twitch by the corners of his pale red
lips that could easily be taken for a smile.
Their mother, of course,
wasn�t quite as amused. Sighing, she took Ken and Barbie from a pouting Ell�s
hands and relocated them, together with the whipped cream, to the sink.
�Ell, sweetie, you know
you�re not supposed to play with your food. If Ken and Barbie are hungry, go
feed them in your kitchen in your room � after breakfast!�
With that, she placed a
glass of milk for her daughter and more pancakes for all three of her prot�g�es
on the table. She watched how Seifer put Six aside and ladled a pancake on
Ell�s plate, carefully so, before politely offering her some maple syrup.
�Syrup, Miss Ellone?� the
tall blonde cooed while bowing as steeply as his restricted space on the bench
allowed.
Giggling, she took it from
him.
�Thank you, Sir Seifie,�
she replied blithely, unknowingly reigniting one of Seifer�s more strange
ideas.
�Oh yeah...� the blonde
started and reeled backwards slightly to grant her a better glimpse of Squall,
who was glaring at both of them with open mistrust, �This right here, Milady,
is Sir Glaresalot. The �sir� is just for kicks though, you see, he�s actually
my squire! Bit grumpy, but takes good care of the horse, armor, stinky socks
and stuff. Anyway, I�m Sir Seifer, your knight, here to protect you from the
dragons and bees in the garden, my fair maiden. May I kiss your hand?�
A grin passed over his
lips when he noted the clatter of Squall abruptly putting down his fork.
�What the- Sir WHAT?�
He ignored the brunette�s
infuriated growl and placed a gentlemanly kiss on Ell�s tiny hand. The gesture
caused a blush to conquer her pale cheeks � quite similar to Squall�s, in fact,
although his was unlikely born from girlish infatuation. Seifer could feel his
classmate�s irritation simmering off of him in heated waves, but he thought the
boy�s wayward temper to be rather comical.
�You�re so sweet, Seifer,
honestly,� Raine laughed, who had finally sat down at the table as well,
sipping a cup of strong coffee. �Gosh, Ell... a big brother and a chivalrous
knight - what more could a little girl possibly want?�
Ellone let out an excited
squeak. �... Barbies!�
�Hmm... well, that�s true,
but you have a whole room full already, cutie,� her mother chided, not at all
unkind, before glancing at her son. �Squall, are you finished already?�
Seifer heeded his
classmate with a smug, challenging expression, eager to hear the boy�s reply to
his mother�s question. Apparently, the brunette was still stewing over being
christened �Sir Glaresalot�, because he looked characteristically grim as he
was picking at his food, rearranging it on his plate in strangely violent
patterns. Then again, Seifer mused, maybe it was the idea of being appointed
his humble squire that bothered Squall, or more likely, a little bit of both.
Little did Seifer know
that Squall was not so much angered by the blonde�s jokes as he was worried.
The fact that Seifer so easily blended into his family, entertained his sister
and charmed his mother caused that icy sting of panic in his heart to flare up
like a torch. They liked him; they liked him much more than he had
anticipated � than he had feared. Of course Seifer was sweet and
lovable and charming in his own, annoying ways � such had never been a point of
debate.
However...
�In the end, it doesn�t
matter how nice he is or how much they adore him... or how much I... anyway -
it makes no difference. He�s bad news for all of us, they just don�t know it.
They don�t know anything, and I�ll do whatever necessary to keep it that
way.�
Spearing a strawberry with
the tip of his fork, Squall let out a shaky, tense breath of air. Perhaps he
had looked a bit too gritty doing so, because his mother lifted her eyebrows in
an expression of stunned concern.
�Squall, are you feeling
alright?� she asked, leaning towards him. �What�s wrong, honey? You look
strange. Squall...?�
When the brunette showed
no visible reaction to those earnest inquiries, Seifer � while looking
perfectly inconspicuous - gave one of Squall�s shins a sharp kick beneath the
table. It inflicted just enough pain to hurl Squall out of his transfixed state
and drive him to furiously whisk his head around towards Seifer, who was as
lofty and straight-faced as ever.
�What the f-�
Seifer severed the boy�s
irritated gasp by digging his heel into the top of Squall�s foot, smiling
serenely.
�Your mom asked you
something,� the blonde lilted and took a calculated swig of his juice while
avoiding eye contact with either of the Leonharts.
Forcing down his
resentment, Squall quickly glanced from Seifer to his mother and over at
Ellone, who was watching him curiously while petting one Barbie�s long blonde
hair.
Honestly, the little girl
thought, her big brother was acting more strangely by the day.
�W-what, Mom?� Squall
finally whispered through thin lips, which he had cambered into a pained smile.
�Sorry, I didn�t hear you.�
�I asked if you were
okay,� Raine repeated slowly. �You looked so serious there for a minute.�
�Oh... uh... I... I was
just thinking about school. I didn�t mean to zone out on you, really... Sorry.�
Even though Seifer
considered the brunette�s act to be quite transparent, his mother readily
bought into it. In fact, Squall must�ve said something of great interest,
because her beautifully pale face, which was enhanced by only a dusting of
make-up, lit up in excitement.
�Oh yes, the school
festival!� she exclaimed happily. �You said you had to go in tomorrow to help
paint the backdrop for the Drama Club�s play, isn�t that right?�
�Right...� Squall drawled
in a stretched, exhausted tone of voice, before refocusing on his plate.
This was news to Seifer.
He vaguely remembered their art teacher, Fujin, to demand some kind of
discussion with Squall on this school festival subject, but he had never
thought of asking the brunette about it. More accurately, it had completely
slipped his mind. So Squall was going into school on Sunday to help out with
said preparations?
Interesting indeed.
�Are you helping too,
Seifer?�
The blonde veered towards
Raine, grinning secretively.
�Yeah,� he replied almost
sweetly. �I just so might.�
�I wanna help, too!�
Ellone whined immediately. �I can paint, can�t I, nii-chan?�
She had put her dolls
aside and was fiercely glaring at the two older boys, looking as determined and
steadfast as any five year old possibly could as her eyes sparkled like little
black diamonds. In the end, Seifer decided, she truly was a spitting image of
her teenage brother.
�We�ll paint something
later, Ell,� Squall reassured her, without giving in to her claims. �Eat up
already. Your food�s getting cold.�
She didn�t much seem to
like being told what to do, because her bottom lip jutted into a pout. At last,
she did eat her breakfast, if only because she admired Squall like no
one else in the world and didn�t want to upset him. He wasn�t like the other
grown-ups; he always had time to play with her, tell her stories and draw her
the most beautiful of pictures. Of course she loved her father and her mother,
too, but her big brother was by far her most precious person. His new friend,
Seifer, was nice as well, but in a different kind of way than Squall. Not any
better or worse � just different. Ellone was yet too young to fully comprehend
the meaning of this, but there was one thing that was perfectly clear to her �
she really, really liked Seifer�s dazzling green eyes, and in her heart she
knew that her nii-chan felt the very same way.
�I want Seifie to come
play more often,� she thus announced between mouthfuls of pancake, causing
Seifer to beam contently and Squall to go scarlet with embarrassment.
�That�s a good idea, Ell,�
Raine agreed. �It�s so nice to have you over, Seifer! Isn�t it, Squall?�
After a few seconds of his
mother looking at him expectantly, the brunette finally nodded very stiffly in
response, although his expression suggested that he wished Seifer a very
painful death.
�A good idea? You�ve
gotta be kidding me. He is not coming over again! Tche. I�ll make sure
of that, trust me.�
Squall would�ve given
anything to wipe that pleased smirk off Seifer�s face, but it seemed
ever-lasting, as if smacked down into concrete.
Just where exactly were
those bloody jackhammers when you really needed them?
�Fuck it all.�
Blowing a random, unruly
chunk of hair out of his eyes, Squall drowned himself wholly in his self pity.
The female members of his family were happily chatting away with his unwanted
guest, who was strutting his stuff like a horny rooster planted in the midst of
a flock of chickens in heat.
Why on earth wouldn�t he
just leave?
Jeez.
�Oi, Silent One!�
Seifer had elbowed him in
the side demandingly, causing Squall to snarl at him in return. The blonde
seemed to find this amusing � like everything that Squall ever did or said.
God, was it ever annoying.
�Squall,� Seifer cooed,
apparently remembering that his classmate actually had a name, �You done or why
are ya starin� holes into the air?�
�... Done,� the brunette
replied frigidly.
�But you�ve hardly eaten
anything!� Raine protested. �Honestly, Squall, you need to eat more.�
�Yeah, man, don�t make
your mother worry!�
Squall wanted to tell
Seifer to mind his own business, but resisted the urge. Knowing his mother,
she�d take it as a cue to shape up his people skills, or at least give the
matter an earnest try. After all, she pointed out frequently enough how she
must have done something wrong with her son�s education, at least where
his social skills (or the lack thereof) were concerned. Perhaps she had put him
into kindergarten too soon? Perhaps she should have taken him to the park more
often to meet with other kids his age? Perhaps she shouldn�t have bought
him that one scary video game when he was eight and really into this strange
vampire thing...?
Of course, realistically,
Squall�s general antipathy towards human company and casual conversation had
nothing to do with her, Count Dracula or even those annoying brats at the
playground (oh, how he had hated them, though � never in his life had he
been more bored!), but Raine always placed the blame on herself instead of her
children � for everything.
Her son knew that only too
well.
�Oh well... I suppose I
can�t spoon-feed you anymore, can I? Hm... Seifer hun, do you want anything
else?�
After his train of thought
had somehow pressed on without him, Squall watched with newly erected interest
how Seifer shook his head at Raine�s question and patted his belly, which still
looked perfectly flat beneath its sheath of olive green fabric. Then again,
Squall mused, the blonde was equipped with a set of fairly impressive abdominal
muscles... or at least he recalled that much from the night before.
The second he realized
that he was contemplating Seifer�s lustrous six pack of all things, Squall
wanted to melt into the ground and straight out die of shame. Muttering
something garbled under his breath, he hastily removed his meticulous gaze from
the blonde�s body and slid out of the bench.
�Well, why don�t you two
go upstairs then?� Raine suggested when she saw him getting up, causing her son
to cringe.
�B-but I-�
�Ooh, can I come?
Pleeease? Nii-chan?� Squall heard his sister begging in her whiniest, most
convincing voice, but before he had a chance to yield to her beckoning, his
mother had already taken control of the situation.
He wasn�t quite sure
whether to thank or condemn her for it.
�Ell, sweetie, why don�t
you help Mommy with the dishes?� Raine coaxed her daughter lovingly. �You know,
I could use a grown lady�s help. It's so much work for one woman alone.�
The girl seemed to ponder
this, because her small, button shaped nose was furrowed in deep thought.
Ultimately, the prospect of being regarded as a �grown lady� easily triumphed
over fawning over her older brother and his friend... at least for the moment
being.
�Mmmh... ooo-kay, I
guess.�
After graciously giving in
to her mother�s request, Ellone scrambled out of the bench as well, now holding
on tightly to Six whom she carried to the sink to check on Barbie�s and Ken�s
condition.
�You don�t want help?�
Squall asked his mom while fastening one hand upon his hip, half-hoping that he
wouldn�t have to deal with Seifer on his own again.
�No no! Go on, you guys!
Ell and I can handle it just fine.�
�That�s right!� Ellone confirmed
loudly as she tip-toed around the sink, trying to reach the fruit-scented dish
soap that she liked so much. �'Cause Mommy said I�m a big lady.�
Admitting defeat at last,
Squall sighed like an animal that was to be put to sleep.
�... Fine. Whatever.�
He let this be his only
noticeable sign of bother as he waltzed out of the room without acknowledging
Seifer�s lingering presence. The blonde was still lounging around quite
comfortably, his arms crossed nonchalantly behind his neck, when he realized that
Squall was not going to invite him along for the ride. It seemed as if
Seifer�s best bet would be to simply latch on and let the Glaresalot Express
take the lead. Not his idea of fun, precisely, but he was slowly getting used
to it.
Perhaps he was making this
up, but as he darted after Squall and out of the kitchen, he could�ve sworn
that Raine was gracing him with a very compassionate, pitiful smile.
Well, it would�ve been
appropriate enough, he thought; Squall could easily put men of greater patience
than Seifer at the end of their tether.
�Yep, he�s a stubborn
lil princess alright. Cute though, gotta give him that.�
When he entered the lobby,
he had to realize that Squall had already begun to ascend the staircase. Seifer
found himself contemplating whether or not to follow the grumpy brunette, only
to come to the conclusion that he really didn�t have anything better to do.
�Might as well wreck
his nerves a bit more, eh? I mean, hey, the day�s hardly started.�
With a feral grin that
laced a mischievous golden glow into the dark green of his eyes, Seifer lightly
jogged up the stairs. Squall had apparently taken them in stride as well,
because the blonde could merely catch a glimpse of his friend�s backside as he
disappeared through the doorway of his room.
�Tsk, tsk, tsk. You
can't escape me and you know it, too.�
Squall was already pacing
madly up and down his bedroom, looking somewhat erratic as he senselessly
shifted papers around on his desk and randomly rearranged his other belongings,
trying hard to look preoccupied. Seifer watched him from the center of the
room, one eyebrow cocked daringly, before he snorted in amusement and smugly
smoothed his hair back with one hand.
�The fuck are ya doing
anyway, kitten?� he asked, glinting at his prey. �Nervous, are we?�
This seemed to insult
Squall (then again, what didn�t?), because his gaze darkened in a threatening
scowl as he half-glared across his shoulder.
�You�re still here?�
Squall snarled icily, no longer trying to conceal his irritation.
�Well... yeah,� Seifer
established with a shrug, grinning again. �Can�t help it - sorry.�
�... Whatever.�
Squall was rotating a
heavy glass paperweight in his hands, barely resisting the temptation to put a
permanent dent in Seifer�s forehead. In the end, he simply turned his back on
the blonde and continued to sort through his piles of sketches, pretending that
he wasn�t unnerved by or even aware of his classmate�s presence.
Being ignored, of course,
was one of Seifer�s countless pet peeves � it just rubbed him the wrong way.
Although, he had to say, being able to thoroughly study Squall�s beautiful,
tantalizing behind did have indisputable perks... ones of the kind that Seifer
very much liked to savor and that drove him to cackle softly with disconcerting
glee.
Even though Squall was
acting like he didn�t care, he had to admit that he was at least mildly upset
when he heard Seifer�s feet shuffling across the carpet; the sounds were
growing fainter, suggesting that the blonde was finally fed up enough to leave.
�Suits me just fine,
okay?Fuck.�
Surprise washed over him,
however, when he noted the sound of his door being thrown shut and the lock
clicking faintly as it was being engaged.
�What the...? Did he
just...?�
More noise caused by
sneakers being dragged on carpet suggested that Seifer had, indeed - the
blonde was still in the room, and apparently, he had just locked Squall�s
bedroom door.
Squall was standing bent
over his desk, one hand wrenched around the edge of the glass top for support.
Shaking inwardly, he was trying to figure out how Seifer could possibly dare to
do such a thing; he wasn�t willing to turn around and ask, because his cheeks
had turned a brilliant shade of crimson. The very last sight that Squall would
ever voluntarily grant to his blonde classmate was that of him blushing like a
cute little school girl, thank you very much.
In the end, he discovered
Seifer�s motives much sooner than he would�ve liked, anyhow.
The feeling of two arms
coming around his chest, roping him in like flotsam, was familiar by now, but
nonetheless distressing. Seifer�s hands were warm and flush against his own,
cold skin, massaging away his goose bumps. For a moment, Squall�s breath
remained frozen in his chest, tensely waiting for an attack that never came;
Seifer seemed perfectly content just holding him tilted against the desk, while
dusting the nape of his neck with smooth, silent kisses that suggested
affection, not intrusion. Of course Squall�s body was reacting to that touch,
quite naturally so; he was starting to feel slightly faint and he knew that his
judgment was becoming clouded despite his fervent attempts at defense.
At this rate, he would not
be able to last.
�C-cut it out,� he forced
through his lips between breathless gasps, screwing up his face at the struggle
of trying not to cave in entirely.
�Like I said...� Seifer
rumbled in that low baritone that Squall loved so much, �I just can�t help it.�
He grazed the back of
Squall�s ear with the tip of his tongue, smiling in satisfaction when the
brunette flinched and arched into his embrace. Still, Seifer wasn�t going all
out; he had learned by now that Squall would only tolerate him venturing so
far. The younger man guarded himself well, but Seifer had walked through his
metaphorical walls before and he would keep trying until he�d succeed in
breaching them completely. He wasn�t worried � this would be a matter of time
and patience alone.
But things were never that
simple... in fact, they were far more complicated than Seifer would have ever
been able to imagine.
�Stop...�
He should�ve picked up on
the warning embedded in that flat, barely audible word that hovered in the
heavy air before them. Perhaps Seifer simply didn�t want to pick up on
it; in any case, he continued to trace an invisible trail along Squall�s
jugular with his lips and his tongue, while chuckling very lightly.
�Why?� he asked, not
really desiring an answer of any kind.
Seifer was walking a thin
line and part of him was very aware of that, too. His pride and Squall�s
reclusiveness made for a rather explosive and dangerous combination. Seifer was
driven by the need to conquer and control, causing him to forget that the dark
haired boy in his arms would not be controlled by anyone. There were those that
believed to have a tight leash on Squall Leonhart, but even they could not tame
his wild spirit unless he chose to allow it � which he never would.
�Because I said so,�
the brunette eventually hissed with blood-curling malice, knocking his elbow
into Seifer�s side with such force that the older teen had to retreat with a
groan.
�Ungh! What the--�
Seifer�s fervor was
quenched by the sting in his ribcage and he looked at Squall with a much less
adoring expression. The brunette had turned and was now leaning with his back
against the desk, rubbing one hand along his neck as if to efface the stain of
Seifer�s touch. The picture bothered the blonde much more than he would�ve ever
freely admitted.
�I told you to cut the
crap,� Squall said dryly, but there was a well-hidden note of regret to his
intonation.
�You could've been a lil
less blunt about it,� Seifer bit back, still holding his side. �Fuck.�
�Maybe if you�d use the
head on your shoulders for a change, instead of the one between your legs, I
wouldn�t have to be.�
�The hell are you saying?�
�I�m telling you to stop
behaving like a horny dog. I�m not your toy, alright?�
Seifer grimaced wryly. �We
established that already.�
�Did we?� Squall snapped,
the sarcasm in his voice unforgiving. �Maybe you could actually stay the fuck
away from me then?�
�Oh please. Stop
pretending you don�t like it when I touch you,� the blonde countered nastily.
�Who the hell do you think you�re bullshitting with your hissy fits, anyway?
You think I can�t tell? I know you like it!�
�You know nothing!�
Seifer couldn�t help but
recoil in shock when the glass paperweight Squall had still been holding
suddenly whipped past his face to slam into the wall somewhere behind him. It
must have hit something fragile, possibly a picture frame, because there was an
earsplitting sound and a stunned, painful spark that flashed across the
turbulent surface of Squall�s angry grey eyes. For a while, the two boys stared
at each other silently, each waiting for the other to strike � or simply do something
but just stand there. Squall�s breath came in sharp thrusts from his lungs and
he only barely conjured up the ability to speak.
�Get out.�
The blonde winced again in
response. �I--�
�I said get out!�
Seifer continued to stare
at his opposite, mouthing something that the brunette wouldn�t wanna hear. In
the end, Squall�s bellowed, hysteric order had left little room for arguments.
Even though the realization hurt, Seifer understood this. Thus, gathering his
last bits of pride and confidence around himself, he willed his features into
an unmoved mask and lowered his voice to a detached, mindless whisper.
�Fine.�
Despite his better
knowledge, Seifer reeled around and walked away. He didn�t think that giving in
and running off was the �right� thing to do, but they were heading down a path
where any further word spoken could very well cause irreparable damage.
It wasn�t what he wanted.
It never had been.
Squall watched his
classmate opening the door and stepping through it, until the dull sound of
Seifer�s shoes on the hardwood floor in the hallway finally died away
completely. Subconsciously, Squall noticed the shattered picture frame laying
pitifully strewn to pieces on the carpet by the wall, but the sight wouldn�t
really faze him. With every inch of his body shaking, he sank into his office
chair and buried his face in hands, trying but failing to force his heartbeat
to steady.
�I... I-I can�t... I can�t
do this...�
He was whimpering more so
than he was speaking, but he couldn�t even hear his own voice beneath the
painful droning inside his head. Squall didn�t know what he was doing anymore;
it was as if part of him had just detached itself from reality, floating
somewhere between insanity and rationale like a ghost of his former self. For a
very brief moment, he wanted to run down the stairs and tell Seifer that he was
sorry, so very, goddamn sorry, but he was more frightened of being rejected
than having to deal with his own guilt and misery. That fear of rejection, a
kind he had never felt before, was pounding through his veins with enough
intensity to ruin him for good, but to Squall�s great fortune, there was much
more strength bound in his soul than he, or any other, would ever be able to
comprehend.
But still...
�I can�t... I can�t...�
Squall was hiccoughing
high in his parched throat, making it cramp and ache from the strain. A
commanding voice inside his head told him not to cry, forbid him to cry,
but its reasons made no sense to him anymore. Tears were falling from his
bloodshot eyes like bitter rain and washed down his white cheeks, leaving
behind trails of salt and scarlet skin. Squall wished that they would take with
them the pain that was crushing him and carry it off to some place where it
would never hurt him again, but even after he had been cowering by his desk for
many long minutes, his insides were still wrecked by uncontrolled agony.
�Why...�
In his current state,
absorbed in the darkness of his mind, Squall couldn�t understand why he was
hurting the way he did. It was affecting him so much that he wanted to scream,
but for what? For who?
�S... S-S... Sei...�
The slender fingers of his
hands wrenched into his hair and clawed it for some feeble kind of relief. This
wasn�t really about Seifer; it probably never had been. Yes, Squall wanted to
be with that obnoxious guy � he wanted to allow his kindness and affection into
his life � but in reality, he knew that he was just looking for a cure to the
disease in his heart. Seifer�s presence seemed to promise salvation, but at
what price?
One that he could never, would
never pay.
Of course it hurt � how
couldn�t it? It had been hurting for seven long, fucking years. The only
difference was that now, he could no longer fool himself into believing that it
really wasn�t so bad; that he could cope, somehow.
He couldn�t cope �
he was falling apart, piece by piece. He would�ve liked to blame this change on
Seifer, which was true in some sense, but in the end, he believed that it was
his own lack of strength that was causing him to fail. He wondered how this
could possibly be. After all, he had so much to be strong for � so much to
protect. Why was he faltering now, wailing like a little child instead of
acting like the man he had grown to be?
..: �You have to be
strong, honey. Please, don�t cry! Mommy loves you so much.� :..
Sniffing, Squall brushed
the back of his hand across his nose and blinked against the sting in his eyes.
He tried to swallow, but couldn�t. His throat felt thick and swollen, but after
biting down on his quivering lips a few times, the tension finally eased and
turned into something more bearable. The rhythm of his breathing had calmed a
little and was only interrupted by single coughs that were the aftermath of his
sobs. What had seemed impossible to accomplish only moments before was no
longer scaring him and diminishing him to a crying heap.
He could do this
and he would do this.
They needed him.
With those thoughts, his
vigor came seeping back to him and drove out the panic at last. He was still
alone, but only because he chose to be. That was what he told himself
when he wiped his tear-slicked face with his short, black sleeves, ignoring the
raw, cruel pain searing through his wrists when he performed the edgy movement.
Squall Leonhart wasn�t going to be defeated by grief; he was no longer a child
hungering for love and attention - he was an adult and he didn�t need
anyone�s help or attention. Quite contrary, there were now people who depended
on him - people who loved him and whose happiness was his sole
responsibility.
Perhaps there were things
that he would never know or understand, but this much was for certain...
He would never fail those
who relied on his strength.
Not Squall.
Not in this lifetime or in
any other.
- 13
- 14
- 15
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Whispered Screams