Becoming SOLDIER

This.. Could not be happening. No… it was happening. It was… but it was the last thing that Zack had expected to happen; the last thing he wanted to happen. He felt his stomach turn and his heart beat painfully in his chest. He could feel his jaw slack and his eyes blinking and wide not caring that he looked like a deer caught in the headlights of not a car or truck or even a freaking tank, but caught in front of Shinra’s own rocket ship!

He knew he would be upset; had thought about what would happen if this were to occur; but he would have never thought he’d feel what he felt right then and there as he stared at the offending piece of paper in front of him.

Cloud was to be roomed with none other than Heero Yuy himself. Not Zack; not any other random SOLDIER but Heero fucking Yuy him damned self!

Zack gawked at the paper a few moment longing before sent a heated glare to it hoping it would catch a blaze. Why he was so mad he wasn’t sure; well more precisely he wasn’t sure why he was ‘this’ upset. Sure it hurt that Cloud confided in Heero more than him lately. And of course it bothered him thinking Cloud might be developing a friendship that might very well replace their’s…. Ok… so he was being a little dramatic. Cloud would never completely replace Zack.. Right?

“Hey Zack,” just than Cloud decided to make an entrance; he had slept in and Zack hadn’t the heart to wake him up. Well, that and he wanted to see the results before Cloud did that way he wouldn’t have to worry about his reaction with the blonde around.

Zack let out a quiet breath to steady himself before turning around with his usual cheeky grin scratching the back of his head, “Hey there Cloudy!”

Cloud smiled, “Did we get roomed together,” he asked excitedly.

Zack’s smile twitched but other than that he held no other obvious reaction, “Nyah; no such luck…”

Zack watched as Cloud’s face paled considerably as he stammered, “O-oh.. Um.. W-who than?”

It didn’t go unnoticed by Zack but he didn’t want to question the boy; even though his conscious was gnawing behind his lips fighting for the words to be blurted out. The raven managed to swallow his question and instead decided to ‘relieve’ the boy, “Well you did get a room with Heero.”

O.K. That cause’ didn’t come out ‘bitter’ at all! Great job Zack, The raven mentally scolded himself.

If Cloud noticed he didn’t say anything about it but he sighed softly and relaxed. Zack watched the blonde’s eyes close slowly as he let out the breath he held in his chest and the smile rise on the boy’s lips. Needless to say all the anger he had managed to stuff into the pit of his stomach lurched back in his throat. He ‘hated’ that Cloud was so happy to room with Heero, but still he ‘had’ asked if they were roomed together first…

So he would never be replaced but still! Why did it bother him so much? Why did his stomach turn? Why did his heart ache? Why, why, why! And you know what else?! He was getting damned tired of asking himself those questions lately!

Zack forced his smile back; the blonde held no ill will. For him to yell or get frustrated with Cloud would be unfair to the both of him; this… jealousy he was feeling was irrational. And what good would come from calling the blonde out on such an irrational emotion? None; it would only push him further apart… Heero had done that effectively enough already. Acting out of his childish instincts would be like aiding Heero taking Cloud away from him and he’d be damned if he’d hand over ‘his’ blonde….

Whoa…where did that come from?

Zack was interrupted from his thoughts when he felt a nudge on his shoulder. He lifted his eyes to catch Cloud’s eyes but nearly jumped out of his skin when he realized just how close Cloud was. Cloud stood mere inches from him leaning forward staring intently into Zack’s own blue eyes. The raven literally had to crane his neck just so that he and Cloud weren’t touching noses.

What scared him was that he didn’t seem to mind the idea of pressing their noses together. Not only did he not mind that but he didn’t mind that Cloud’s breath was brushing over his bottom lip and chin. Actually; the scariest part was the simple fact that it seemed enticing to him.

Even worse! Was he even afraid in the first place? His heart was racing a mile a minute; so he was scared or was it something else?

Narrow pools of blue made him release a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, “Zack?”

Zack blinked again snapping out of his musings; god he needed to focus better!

“Uh…Ye-ah,” ‘real’ smooth there Zacky boy… real smooth.

“Are you alright,” Cloud asked as he securitized the raven’s features clearly concerned about the lack of response his friend was giving him. Sure Zack zoned here and there but not quite to this extent.

Zack reluctantly took a step back so he could breathe a little easier. He sheepishly scratched the back of his head, “Sorry bout’ that Cloudy; mind wandered a bit!”

Cloud frowned but rested back on his heels; much to Zack’s relief and disappointment. Why he was disappointed or why he was so reluctant he wasn’t ‘quite’ sure, but he was starting to have a good feeling of what exactly it was. He was oblivious sometimes sure; but he wasn’t an idiot.

Jealousy; reluctance; disappointment; the simple fact that he wanted to be around Cloud and have Cloud all to himself. They were all sending red flags in his mind and for fuck’s sake he knew just knew this was bad.

Was he… in love with Cloud?

It would explain a lot of things; it would explain everything actually. His protectiveness for one. Sure he was always protective but with Cloud it was different. He was never ‘ that’ protective with anyone else. Cloud was a special case that held a piece of Zack’s heart that no one else could touch. Plus there was the few.. Ok… numerous occasions he had snuck a few peeks at the blonde; he couldn’t’ deny that he was attractive.

So was it possible that he really did have feelings for Cloud? More than just friends?

“A bit huh,” Cloud teased as he caught Zack before he drifted to far out of reality.

“Yeah a bit…,” Zack smiled; Nyah… we’re just really close friends… that’s all… really…. Besides I don’t want to jeopardize my friendship over some ridiculous mind ramblings…

Cloud raised a brow but didn’t dwell on it, “Well; who’d you get roomed with?”

“Huh?”

Cloud sighed dramatically on purpose before grinning and speaking very ‘very’ slowly, “Who. Did. You. Get. Roomed. With?”

Zack only scoffed in mock hurt as he folded his arms across his chest and pouted, “I didn’t actually look..”

Now this got a blonde brow to dissapear in a mess of spikes, “You… didn’t look?”

“Er…,” dammit…, “ I forgot already is what I meant to say!”

“Right..,” Cloud drawled out the word.

Zack fought a heated blush that nearly made it to his cheeks; it was embarrassing that Cloud caught him red handed! He turned quickly and scanned for his name before quickly stabbing his name on the paper; thus knocking the tip of his finger into the wall and yelping. Bring the injured appendage into his mouth as he whine.

Cloud knowing better rolled his eyes, “Calm down Pup.” Cloud’s eyes fell onto Zack’s name and than scanned the name next to Zack’s.

“…Kunsel…,” Cloud repeated the name silently on his lips trying match a face to the name but came up with nothing, “ Never heard of him…”

Zack blinked pulling his finger from his mouth, “Yeah me neither. Oh well! Hope he’s not a ass!”

Cloud rolled his eyes, “I worry about him more than you.”

Zack arched his own brow, “Oh yeah? And why’s that?”

Cloud chuckled, “That poor guys going to have to listen to you go on and on and on and on… than there’s the bouncing in place on the bed…. Or the fact that you sing in showers… quite… loudly…”

“Hey,” Zack protested, “I’ve been really good about that!”

Cloud rolled his eyes yet again, “ Yeah in the public shower Zack; and only after you had every cadet send you death glares.”

Zack slammed his fist down on his open hand looking up as if he just discovered something, “Oh yeah!”

Cloud could only laugh, “You’ll be back to your old ways.”

Zack’s grin was full of pride to pull such laughter out of the blonde. They hadn’t joked like this in so long; he missed it. He rarely got time alone with Cloud anymore; Heero or Duo or both of the two seemed around him constantly. That and the constant tension and apprehension the two had filtering through the air since the exams was really putting a hurting on the two.

“Yeah and I guess Heero will find out just how long it takes you to get that hair to spike like that,” Zack knew Cloud’s hair was just naturally unmanageable but that never stopped him from teasing the blonde about it.

Cloud frowned as he gave the now SOLDIER a small shove, “Don’t start with that…”

Zack bounced right back to grab Cloud in a head lock and ruffle his hair; the flustered blonde sputtered and fought against Zack’s grip half-heartedly. He missed the annoying gesture; though he’d never quite admit that to Zack; he was just to stubborn.

“AW! But spike! There’s got to be some secret to your amazing gravity defying spikes!!”

“Z-Zack! I swear… L-Let go,” Cloud spoke between chuckling.

Deciding to torture the blonde more some other time Zack released him and smiled, “Yeah Yeah spoil my fun.”

Cloud only huffed as the red on his face slowly began to dissipate, “Come on… We should go pack up the room before you rip all the hair from my head.”

Zack chuckled the mood dying slightly as he realized he was going to pack just so he and Cloud could part ways. Again; dramatic… They would really only be a few yards away from each other but still! A few yards was still a decent walk away and not to mention opening and closing doors! Zack mentally groaned and nearly chuckled at his own thoughts but knew better too. Cloud would only tease him.

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“Zack,” Cloud nearly growled out; the boy turned only to be smacked in the face with another shirt, “Ever since they stopped checking the room’s you’ve been leaving you stuff EVERYWHERE.”

Zack grinned as he pulled the cloth away from his face; the grin began drop from his face, “Yeah but you.. Won’t have to worry about that for too much longer huh?”

“Zack,” Cloud’s voice was soft; was he that obvious?

“I’ll be right down the hall remember,” Cloud reminded him but this time without any intent to tease him.

“Yeah; I know…,” Zack perked up, “Maybe you can sneak in on stormy nights like when we were kids!”

Zack demonstrated kissy faces and hugs as a mere joke but he smiled genuinely at the surprising blush that the blonde soon sported; he missed those faces to.

“You’re… something else,” Cloud spoke softly as he recomposed himself before turning back to his packing.

So things were going to be a little difficult from here on out; but Zack could deal with it. He could deal with a lot when it came to the blonde.