Holiday Surprises

Disclaimer: FANfiction. FAAAAAAANNNNNNNNfiction. Not ownerfiction, fanmotherfuckingfiction.

Warning: Angst then writer giving up and cutting it off.

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Zack sat at the bar counter, hands cupping his glass of scotch as he stared blankly ahead. Mako violet eyes seemed unfocused and distant. Sighing heavily, the raven haired SOLDIER raised his glass and took a swig. Shifting his gaze, Zack took in the slumped form of his silver haired commander. Sephiroth was sprawled over the counter, head resting on his arm as his other hand gripped the bottle of vodka the bartender had left beside him. Occasionally the hand would tighten convulsively, the only sign that the General was even awake. Swiveling his head in the other direction, the brunet looked at his mentor spin an empty beer bottle between two fingers.

"You couldn't have done anything," Zack found himself saying.

"Could too," Sephiroth grumbled.

"We could have saved him," Angeal said numbly, "If we had been a little earlier."

"If we hadn't missed that sniper," the silver haired SOLDIER raised his head to stare desperately at the wall behind the bar.

"It wouldn't have mattered," Zack shook his head, "If we had gotten the sniper then those backup ground troops would have gotten him. If we had been a little quicker we would have gotten taken out too. Shinra will give him a proper burial and-"

"No they won't," Sephiroth said bitterly, "They don't give a shit about us. We were born and trained to kill, to do their bidding, and to die for them. Gen won't get a hero's burial, he'll get a mention on the news and then be forgotten."

"I hate this fucking uniform," Angeal said suddenly, drawing surprised looks from his companions. Angeal never swore, it wasn't the honorable thing to do.

"Okay," Zack said slowly before turning his attention to his glass, "I think...Genesis deserves a real hero's funeral. We should do something for him, for everyone who died. It would be selfish to just do this for Gen."

"And what would you have us do?" Angeal snapped, "We can't do anything that makes Shinra look bad."

"We should do a media campaign, talk to any reporter that will listen. We could tell them about how we're honoring every fallen soldier, no matter the side."

"Shinra will stop us," Sephiroth muttered.

"Okay..." Zack paused as he tried to get his alcohol addled mind to work properly, "We could get the press department to get them involved."

"They don't care Puppy," Angeal said softly, "Genesis was a traitor, they already said he was killed in action. They'll say the body was recovered so his family can bury him and that will be it. They can't have an open casket because he's supposed to have died a few weeks ago, the body wouldn't be viewable. Just accept we're all expendable."

"You know what we should do?" Sephiroth slurred.

"What?" Zack tilted his head slightly as he looked at his friend.

"We should be more like Genesis," the silver haired man, "Random group sex."

"..." both raven haired men stared at the General.

"He would have wanted it!"

"...true," Angeal said thoughtfully, "But I don't know..."

"Bar sex time!" Zack yelled and jumped his mentor.

Angeal screamed like a bitch, Sephiroth accidentally the whole wine bottle, and Zack became a man. The fucking end. (I don't know what to do!)