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Whispered Screams	By : AngryAngel Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 6957 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
When his emerald green
eyes casually grazed the random clusters of people that had rallied at Deling
City High School on a cheerful Monday morning, Seifer found himself wondering
why he had even bothered to get out of bed. This was no ordinary school day -
there�d be no one taking attendance and no teacher calling his parents in
Balamb if any facet of Seifer�s behavior was not to their specific liking.
Instead, classes had been canceled and replaced by theatric plays, school choir
performances, silly kiddy games and presentations of every educational, social
and athletic event that had occurred at D.C. High throughout the previous
school year. Hundreds of parents, siblings and distant relatives were bustling
in the hallways of the school building, apparently having the time of their
lives.
With an apathetic snort,
Seifer inhaled the last greasy scraps of hot dog he had been lugging around in
one hand.
�This is fuckin� lame.�
Why in the hell all these
people would willingly waste their time at a childish, meaningless festival was
far beyond Seifer�s comprehension. Hell, he was a student here and he
was bored out of his suffering brain! The only thing that had kept him
entertained over the last hour or so was the tricky task of steering clear from
people that he knew but wished he didn�t; earlier on, he had just barely
managed to avoid an embarrassing collision with Rinoa and the entire goddamn
Heartilly clan. He had been forced to flee into the crowded cafeteria, where he
had busied himself with the purchase of two hot dogs and a soda. Some parents
from the school board were selling cake and pies, too, but Seifer wasn�t really
feeling his sweet tooth today.
As a matter of fact, he
wasn�t feeling a whole lot of anything.
Sighing grimly, he leaned
backwards against the hard surface of painted brick wall that was part of one
of the more empty hallways - the art wing, to be rightfully precise. Though he
had already gobbled up his food, Seifer was still carrying his Pepsi can. The
dark, sugary drink tasted a bit stale by now, but he didn�t care much as he
tilted his head back and drained the last of it in one gulp.
�... What am I still
doing here, anyway? Or again, come to think of it.�
This was a question he had
asked himself more than just once. Roughly twenty-four hours had streaked by
since Seifer�s last visit to D.C. High, or - as he had sardonically dubbed it -
�Heartbreak Land�, yet it certainly didn�t feel that way; the hotly bubbling
fury and ache over his classmate�s words were almost as fresh as they had been
when Squall had vented his nasty temper on him in the auditorium.
But only almost.
Seifer had been brooding
heavily since that unpleasant scenario with the grouchy brunette, but
unfortunately, he hadn�t come to any kind of brilliant conclusion; he hadn�t
been struck by a flash of much needed enlightenment when he had laid awake in
his bed that night, or when he had ultimately snapped under the frustration and
hurled one of his coffee cups against the wall in the morning. The only thing
he knew for sure was that he was now one mug short and royally pissed off. Then
again, of course, it was also much more complicated than that. �Pissed� just
didn�t really do the feeling pulsating so acidly in his heart enough justice.
Seifer was hurt, upset, confused, irritated, desperate and a million other
things of which the exact terms wouldn�t come to him right now.
�Yeah, this is just excellent.
Fuck this shit, man, I�ve had it.�
His throat was sore from
spending a sleepless night on the covers of his bed in his drafty room, but
that didn�t keep him from grunting hard and low in defiance. Really, he had no
reason to linger at this sorry excuse for a festival any longer, and he was
about to pass out from the �excitement�, anyway. Yawning, habit drove him to
reduce his soda can to a shriveled piece of scrap metal, when suddenly...
�... So, that�s the one,
huh?�
�... Yeah.�
�Ooh wow, I love
it, sweetie! It�s gorgeous! And it�s huge... that must�ve taken you forever
to finish!�
�It��
�Well well, and here I was
thinking your pictures couldn�t possibly get any gloomier. Tell me, are you
wallowing in some kind of teen crisis or what, Squall? Anything you'd like to
talk about, hm?�
Seifer froze mid-movement,
his fingers clamped around the already dented aluminum siding of the can. The
voices that had traveled to his ears came from just around the corner, and with
distinct surprise, he realized that he recognized at least one of them.
�No fucking way...�
Listening more closely
now, he soundlessly slipped along the wall, his curiosity meter peaking.
�Oh, stop teasing him,
Kato. You know how much his art means to him!�
�Right... I guess I�m
simply not much of an art appreciator - no offense, kiddo, right? I just don�t
see much in this except for a big glob of black paint.�
�... It�s not black.�
�Not, huh? Well, sure looks
black to me, Squall.�
�You�re wrong, then.�
Without taking much
precaution or considering that eavesdropping was in fact quite rude, Seifer
peered along the edge of the wall and down the main hallway. The formerly
unhurried pace of his heartbeat had picked up in strides, but he was too busy
to care; if his ears weren�t deceiving him, he had just heard the name �Squall�
twice, as well as the brunette boy�s monotone voice arguing with another male
and a familiar sounding female.
�Can�t be them.�
Oh, but it could.
Only a few feet away from
the blonde�s current position, a very small group of people had huddled around
that one, particularly dark painting of Squall�s that Seifer had admired on his
second day to school. Seifer recognized Raine even from the back by her long,
sweeping brown hair, short height and frail statue. Then, with a startled jolt
surging through his body, he made out Squall, whose face was thrown into relief
when the brunette looked away from his painting and down to the floor. The
blonde found that his younger classmate looked extraordinarily tense, but
before he could ponder the notion any further, a man standing closely behind
Raine snared his undivided attention.
�Hey... then this must
be...�
Seifer was still wrapped
around the corner of the art wing, not minding how strange he must have looked
to anyone walking by, as he studied the tall, ebony haired man who stood with
the two Leonharts. He had to be Seifer�s height, probably taller, and he was
definitely over-dressed for the nonchalance of the occasion in his crisp black
business suit, polished leather shoes and perfectly combed-back hair. Seifer
couldn�t see the man�s face too well, but he had no problems picking up each of
his words that sliced the air in an equally nasty and refined way.
�No black, hm?� the guy in
the suit asked silkily, and Seifer lifted one eyebrow at his snide tone. �I�m
not colorblind, you know.�
�Honey, don�t��
�I used blue and red,�
Squall interrupted his mother, frowning as he scrutinized his own painting.
�Nothing else.�
�Are you kidding me? I
don�t see any blue or red,� the man, who could be none other but the
infamous Kato Kearan, retorted smugly.
�I think I can see some
red right here,� Raine tried soothingly, brushing her right index-finger along
the canvas on the wall. �Yes, definitely... and there�s some right here, too.
Red lines, I think...?�
Despite the distance that
parted them, Seifer noticed how Kato�s sharply cut face curled vindictively.
Squall�s mother couldn�t have seen her husband�s grimace, because she had
leaned forward to study her son�s artwork in more detail.
�If you say so, darling,�
the man replied placidly, not sounding sweet at all, before he turned to
Squall. �I�m not trying to rain on your parade, kid, but it still looks black
to me.�
Kato seemed to enjoy
toying with his stepson�s feelings, but apparently, Squall had long grown weary
of the man�s attitude and their conversation.
�... Whatever,� he replied
flatly, training his eyes on a faraway wall.
�What is it supposed to
be, anyway?� Kato kept prying with a mean chuckle. �Aside from a seeming waste
of black paint, that is.�
Seifer didn�t know how or
why, but his previous anger and bitterness had been completely wiped from his
mind. Seeing Squall standing there, mocked and put on the spot by someone who
should have been supportive like his mother, who was now frowning and scolding
her husband for his cutting sarcasm, brought the blonde�s blood to a boil.
Without thinking twice about what he was doing, he stepped out from his awkward
position and approached the now silent group from behind.
�It says what it is right
there on the goddamn tag,� he snapped in a dark, almost aggressive tone of
voice, causing both Squall and Raine to start and wheel around in surprise.
�It�s a lion, alright? And if he says that he only used blue and red paint,
then you better take his damn word for it.�
Still clutching his soda
can in one hand, Seifer folded his arms before his chest in wordless bravado
and coolly surveyed his opposites� reactions. Raine was beaming at him, seeming
equally amazed and pleased to see him again so soon, whereas Squall regarded
him with a very vacant, dumbstruck expression from behind her. Kato, however,
was an entirely different story; his lightly tanned face had taken on a sour
look, and his eyes, which were of the same pale grey that streaked his neatly
cropped hair, were as cold and unkind as welded steel. Apparently, he wasn�t
quite accustomed to teenage strangers getting lippy with him.
�And just who might you
be?� Kato asked dryly as he looked down upon Seifer haughtily.
�Honey, this is Seifer
Almasy!� Raine exclaimed before Seifer had a chance to introduce himself and
motioned towards the blonde. �I've told you about him, remember? He�s Squall�s
new classmate!�
�Oh, really,� the man
replied neutrally, but something ominous had begun to flicker behind his rather
transparent grey eyes.
�Yes! Seifer, this is my
husband, Kato. You two haven�t met yet, have you?�
Slowly shaking his head,
the dark haired man named Kato extended his right hand curtly. For a second,
Seifer hesitated on whether to take it, but when he saw Raine�s rapt and
cheerful face, he couldn�t bring himself to disappoint her. With a stale grin
and muttering a vague �nice to meet you�, he shook hands with the man who
definitely looked the part of a successful lawyer, judging by his dazzling gold
Rolex and expensive tailored suit. He was good-looking and it was difficult to
determine his age, but Seifer guessed him to be in his mid or late forties -
considerably older than Raine, he decided with a frown.
�I don�t care if he�s
wearing fuckin� Armani or not, the dude reminds me of a nasty ass fuckin'
cockroach.�
He could feel Kato�s
frosty eyes on himself, looking him up and down, sneeringly roving over the
football jersey, distressed jeans and sneakers he was wearing. Raine, on the
contrary, was the epitome of a glorious summer's day - bright, warm and ever so
welcoming. Obviously, she was elated over having bumped into her son�s new
friend, whom she had taken such a liking to.
�Seifer, did your parents
come, too?� she asked, looking around.
�Nah, they couldn�t make
it,� the blonde replied indifferently. �Didn�t have time.�
This, however, wasn�t
quite true; Seifer�s parents had called him on Sunday night for their weekly
chat, but he had conveniently �forgotten� to tell them about the festival. In
the end, he really hadn�t wanted to run the risk of them making the three hour
trip from Balamb only for an excuse to annoy him in person.
�Aww, well, that�s too
bad,� Raine said, sounding honestly sorry. �Ell wanted to come too, mostly in
hopes to see you of course, but she had to go to kindergarten instead because
they�re having a field trip to a local museum. I tell you, she was so
disappointed!�
�Oh really?� Seifer asked
with a jovial laugh.
�Yes, she�s been talking
about you all weekend! You sure left a lasting impression on her, let me tell
you. Honestly, you�ll have to come over again soon so we can all have dinner
together! Maybe next weekend we could have a barbecue, or go out and��
Seifer heard her going on
and nodded disjointedly in response, but his gaze had finally slipped past
Raine to focus on Squall, who had been lingering discreetly in the background.
The brunette looked
delectable as always in a form-hugging, light grey t-shirt with an intricate
black screen print on the front, loose fitting jeans and his usual biker boots.
His leather wristbands were as ever-present as the scars he was denying beneath
them, but his face and the look in his eyes were entirely different from what
Seifer was used to seeing; Squall was glancing at Seifer from behind unruly dark
brown bangs, his expression stark and almost powerless. His hands were buried
in the pockets of his jeans and he was shifting his weight nervously from foot
to foot, all the while gawking at Seifer as if he had just seen him for the
very first time in his life.
�Hey, Squall,� Seifer
mumbled with a small, unsure smile that gave away just how awkward he felt on
the inside.
After all, �hey, Squall�
was far from the kind of greeting he had originally had in mind for the
brunette. In fact, only fifteen minutes ago, he had dreamily pictured himself
snuffing Squall�s lights out with a marvelous right hook, but that was before
he had seen the boy being verbally pummeled by his stepfather. Apparently,
Seifer�s protective instincts triumphed over his vengeful side yet again.
�... Hey,� the brunette
finally replied impassively, looking as uncomfortable as Seifer did while he
darted evasive looks around the hallway.
That was all they said to
each other, which seemed to give Raine reason enough to giggle in good-natured
amusement; Squall had been strangely touchy and depressed since spending his
Sunday afternoon helping out at the school festival preparations, and although
he hadn�t confided in her the cause for his distress, she suddenly had a very
good idea of what might have possibly gone wrong. The strangely abrupt way that
Seifer had departed on Saturday and how the two boys were looking at each other
now made as much sense to her as a simple math equation.
With sparkling cobalt hued
eyes and a knowing wink directed at Seifer, she grasped her husband�s arm.
�Kato, dear, let�s go get
some cake.�
The man tore his gaze from
his stepson�s blonde friend and nailed it to her instead, seeming positively
baffled.
�Cake?� he asked
stupidly, as if she had suggested to go and get high on some LSD.
�That�s right! I saw those
fliers saying that the school board was selling some in the cafeteria and I
could really go for a piece of cake right now,� she trilled merrily.
"Squall, Seifer, we�ll catch up with you in a little bit, okay? We can
watch the play together! You have your cell phone on you, right, Squall?�
�Uh... yeah, but-�
�Great! See you two later
then! Have fun!�
Perplexed, Seifer and
Squall watched how the short, slender female practically dragged her 6�2� tall
husband along and down the next best hallway, waving cheerfully until they were
out of sight. This, of course, left the boys alone with each other, exchanging
ill at ease glances and shuffling around nervously.
Why in the hell did
everything around them suddenly seem so quiet?
�Eh...� Seifer finally
broke the stiff silence, if not very articulately. �Right...�
Squall had begun to chew
dully on the corner of his bottom lip - a sure sign that he was anxious, as his
blonde classmate had already figured out. The brunette�s eyes were bloodshot
and shadowed again, perhaps even more so than the day before. For a brief
moment, Seifer found himself wondering whether Squall got any quality sleep at
all these days; he certainly didn�t look like it.
In any case, neither of
them knew exactly what to do or say. Within the short lapse of one week, so
many angry, hurtful, intimate, sweet and chancy things had already been spoken
between them, but now, they were both completely lost for words, no matter of
which kind. Squall was nervously fidgeting with his wristbands, and
surprisingly, the sight of the pale brunette twisting and clawing his much
needed accessories ultimately shattered Seifer�s apprehensiveness and brought
back some of his former upbeat, confident self.
�Hey,� the blonde piped up
in an unnaturally bright voice, trying hard not to choke on the words, �You,
uh, wanna get something to drink and... erh... hang out in the school yard for
a bit?�
Seifer brandished his
empty soda can in front of Squall�s taken aback face, as if to emphasize that
he was thirsty. In reality, he was just downplaying the fact that he had no
damn idea what he was doing. Squall, however, simply stared back at him as if
he was the oddest sight in the world, all the while remaining perfectly still.
The brunette didn�t even really seem to be contemplating the most spectacular
method of flipping the blonde off, like he normally would, but he rather looked
like he was trying to make sense of Seifer asking him to �hang out� as if they
were the best of friends.
After all, Seifer couldn�t
possibly have forgotten the nasty fight they had had only one day ago, could
he?
Of course, the brunette
couldn�t conceal his practically palpable confusion and insecurity from his
opposite. In some ways, Seifer thought to himself, Squall was kind of like a
map - easy enough to read when you had a decent concept of what you were
looking for. Then again, he was no less a complete mystery that, maybe, Seifer
was never going to fully figure out. It seemed like a near miracle that the
blonde was still trying after everything unfortunate that had happened -
but perhaps love was just that:
A miracle.
�Love... puh-lease, I
don�t love the guy! ... Do I? Hell, how would I know. Tche. I�m starting
to feel like the masochist here, and I�m not the one who likes to play with
razorblades, thank you very much. Maybe I should just cut my losses and forget
I ever fuckin� met him. He�s bound to snap again, I just know it, and I don�t
wanna be around when it happens. I mean, this is like playing fetch with a live
hand grenade or somethin�...�
�... A-alright.�
For a moment, Seifer was
thrown off balance by the brunette�s softly stammered whisper that almost
drowned in the droning noise of chattering students and parents that were now
passing through the art wing. Then, when it finally dawned him that Squall�s
one-worded answer implied that he had actually accepted his clumsy invitation,
Seifer�s initial disorientation turned into a warm, prickly feeling of
surprise.
Maybe there was a small
chance that this cause wasn�t lost just yet.
�Oh... uh, okay then,� he
stuttered, stunned and quite unlike himself, before rubbing the back of his
head in a cutely boyish, distressed fashion. �Uhm, so, what do ya want? Soda? I
got this one from the cafeteria, but... well... your parents...�
�There�s... a vending
machine around here somewhere...� Squall replied weakly while performing a
sweeping gesture down the hallway. �I think, anyway...�
Then, to Seifer�s great
amazement, the brunette was overtaken by a slight, very adorable blush as he
dropped his gaze to the floor and exhaled with a gasp. Squall looked as if the
fact that he had succeeded in forming a full sentence in front of Seifer had
caused a huge weight to roll off his chest. Apparently, they were each feeling
as jittery and overstrained as the other, and in some sense, that very
important detail made the situation much easier to deal with.
�Bitchin'. Let�s hit that
thing up, then.�
Trying hard to look bold
and self-assured, Seifer coolly strode off into the direction of the vending
machine that Squall had mentioned, flicking his empty Pepsi can into a trash
bin on the way. The blonde�s heart was beating very obviously now, and no
matter how many deep and supposedly calming breaths he took, the feeling of it
wanting to thrust through his ribcage just didn�t go away. He heard Squall
dragging his feet on the linoleum, walking about a step behind him, as if he
was still waging his options of fight or flight.
Truthfully, Seifer was
astounded that the brunette was following him at all instead of using the
opportunity to throw a fit or chuck stuff at him again; this was a good thing,
of course, but confusing at the same time.
�This is worse than the
first day we met and he pulled that �fear-me-I�m-a-badass-biker-yo� thing on
me. Much worse, lemme tell ya. Well, back then we only fucked with each
other for the sheer fun of it, or at least I did. I suppose you could say the
situation�s a bit different now. I would�ve never allowed anyone else to talk
to me the way he did yesterday without makin� sure they end up in the fuckin�
hospital wing. Does that like... make him special or something?�
Cringing, Seifer reached
into the back pocket of his jeans and jerked out his wallet. The vending
machine had finally come in sight, and it promised Seifer relief from his
alarming thoughts, as well as Squall�s rigid silence. Pulling out a few
crinkled dollar bills as he halted, he turned around to his brunette friend,
who had stopped short somewhere behind him and was intently studying the floor
pattern.
�What do ya want?�
Squall�s gaze twitched
upwards and he looked unsure for a second, before he tilted his head and
replied vaguely �Uh... water. But... I can get it myself.�
When the dark haired boy
reached for his own money, Seifer demonstratively rolled his eyes at him and
gave a snort of indignation.
�Don�t be ridiculous,� he
chortled, a glimpse of his usual jaunty self sparking up. �It�s just water.�
The brunette paused, one
hand wrapped around his wallet, seemingly trying to decide whether he should
accept Seifer�s treat or not. Eventually, he removed his hand from his pocket
and said, in a very docile kind of tone, �... Whatever.�
Squall hated it when other
people paid so much as a single dime in his stead, but after what had come to
pass between him and Seifer the day before, the very last thing he felt
inclined to do was to argue over something as insignificant as a bottle of
water. He had hardly been able to form a coherent thought since the blonde�s
stunning entrance in the art wing, but the one thing he did know was that for
once, he did not feel like fighting against what Seifer was doing to him.
The brunette flinched at
the sensation of something cold being pushed into his arms. When he looked up,
he was positively staggered by the mesmerizing green of Seifer�s eyes gazing
down at him, glinting with patience and consideration. The sudden, unexpected
sweetness of the sight tugged on his heartstrings so forcefully that he was
afraid he was going to flat out fall apart and cry.
�Shit... shit...
not here... not now... not in front of... fuck...�
�Squall?�
After he had gulped
several times against the thick, cotton-like feeling in his mouth, he finally
managed to trust his emotional strength to hold and took the water from
Seifer�s offering hands.
�Sorry,� he muttered,
while staring pleadingly at the plastic bottle that he was holding like a
foreign object.
�Don�t apologize,� Seifer
said with his simple, gruff charm, before uncapping his own bottle of Gatorade.
�It�s okay.�
While Squall was still
trying to figure out if there was more meaning behind the blonde�s reassuring
grin, Seifer had already scattered his thoughts again by jerking his head to
the left.
�Wanna go outside?�
Squall followed Seifer�s
directive with his eyes and nodded pensively. He didn�t know why he was
agreeing to everything that the blonde suggested, but there was a part of him
that just refused to say no.
�Yeah... sure.�
He watched Seifer taking a
swig of his violently orange drink and quickly followed the blonde as he took
off down the hallway once more. He didn�t dare to walk next to his older
classmate, as ridiculous as that might have looked to anyone who might�ve been
watching. Squall didn�t care; he felt as if he was dancing on razorblades -
like every step he dared to take could possibly be his last.
�I thought I wanted
it to be the last. But... then he showed up and said all those... those
things... and now I�m not sure anymore...�
Quickly, he tried to shut
out that terrifying realization, but it was already far too late for such silly
precautions; Squall was trailing after Seifer like a faithful pet, allowing the
blonde to lead him through crowds of students, and ultimately, through a heavy
set of metal swinging doors that emitted them outside, into a more quiet area
of the school yard.
Squall squinted in a
natural reaction to the sudden brightness cutting into his eyes; the sun was a
radiant golden orb against a cloudless, cerulean blue sky and the scent of
flowers in the air was so potent that it was downright intoxicating. Squall
wasn�t even particularly fond of flowers, but their sweet, lush smell had a
relaxing effect on his frayed and tortured mind. It wasn�t as noisy outside as
it was within the walls of the school buildings, either, which made the
brunette feel distinctly more at ease.
Plus, the perks of being
away from his stepfather clearly could not be ignored.
Suddenly, he felt a large
hand squeezing his left shoulder and a cool hiss of air streaking by his ear.
Instinctively, he wanted to pull away, but his blonde companion�s husky voice
and tight grip managed to override his innate flight impulse with ease.
�Hold still.�
Squall twisted his head
around and noted with surprise how Seifer was trying to shoo a fat little
bumblebee from his tousle-haired head. Totally entangled in his own world, the
brunette hadn�t even perceived the obnoxious buzzing noise of tiny insect wings
whirring anxiously by his left ear.
�There.�
A content Seifer
misinterpreted the strangely empty look on Squall�s face and added loudly,
while hastily removing his hand from the dark haired teen�s shoulder, �Hey, I know
they don�t sting, okay? I�m just, uh, being cautious. Stop looking at me like I�m
some kinda mental case already, jeez.�
Squall, however, continued
to stare at him, simply because he had no clue what else to do or say. He
wanted to say something, he really did, but the words just wouldn�t come to him
no matter how frantically he racked his mind for them.
He had never felt so lost
in his entire life.
�... Right,� Seifer
finally groaned, when he received no visible or audible response. The
brunette�s behavior was starting to upset him a little; Squall was displaying
the antics of a zombie rather than those of a human being capable of
articulating himself.
�Why is he acting like
this? It�s not like I forced him to come along. He could at least say something
instead of just staring at me!�
But Squall didn�t look
remotely like he was planning on ever opening his mouth again. One hand clamped
around his water bottle, he just kept ogling the blonde out of wide, unreadable
grey-blue eyes in which the blankness had become distinctly more pronounced.
Seifer scrunched his nose
in disapproval and decided they�d better do something other than stand in front
of the school building gawking at each other like two intellectual retards.
�Come on,� he ordered
firmly as he set off for their next destination, dearly hoping that Squall
would snap out of his transfixed state.
Indeed, after a second of
hesitation, Squall had managed to pull himself together and willingly resumed
his awkward game of tag-along. He didn�t know where Seifer was taking him, but
found that for a change, he really didn�t care.
�There we go.�
Squall blinked when he
realized that Seifer had led him to the spring where they had once spent an
early morning�s session of math studies together (which, of course, had gone
wrong like everything else they had ever done together). Now that he was
confronted with the memory, he couldn�t believe that mere days had passed since
then, not months like his mind was trying to trick him into thinking.
�We�ve hardly even
known each other for a week... this is crazy...�
�Are ya going to sit down
or just stand there?�
Rocking backwards
slightly, he finally noticed that Seifer had taken a seat by the splashing
turrets of crystalline water and was looking up at him impatiently. With an
indistinct grunt that could have meant a lot of things, Squall quickly sank down
upon the cool marble beside him, subconsciously holding his breath when their
arms almost touched.
For a long time after
that, neither of them did much but take occasional sips of their drinks, listen
to the random spluttering of the fountain behind their backs or watch the
scarce number of school festival visitors passing by. Squall had slouched
forward and was examining the concrete with newly aroused interest in floor
patterns, apparently content with the arrangement of silence between himself
and his older classmate. Seifer threw him several overt sideway glances, which,
to the blonde�s disappointment, elicited no effect whatsoever. He didn�t know
why Squall had accompanied him so willingly, but it certainly hadn�t been to
talk.
�I swear, I think he�s
just getting a laugh out of driving me in-fucking-sane. This is probably his
sick little idea of fun. Dammit. I mean, fuckin� c�mon, I�m tryin�
here!�
In reality, Squall was
simply busy trying to suppress the terrors that raged so violently beneath the surface
of his everyday life. He hadn�t been prepared to meet Seifer again this soon,
nor had he expected the blonde to treat him with as much poise and respect as
he had. He was more scared and confused than he liked to admit, but most of all
he was shaken by the thought that he did not deserve Seifer�s kindness.
Next to him, Seifer
eventually heaved a sigh that sounded dangerously defeated.
�Alright, well, I guess if
you won�t talk, I�m just gon��
�N-no! Wait!� the brunette
suddenly burst out when he saw Seifer�s feet moving. �I... you... wait, I...
Listen, I... th-thanks.�
Both Seifer�s train of
thought and his resignation came to a screeching halt when Squall raised his
tumbling voice at last. Dumbstruck, the older youth lowered his Gatorade bottle
to reel around, and it was now his turn to stare at the brunette.
�... What?� he asked, not
sure if he had heard correctly.
Squall, who was still
sitting with his elbows on his knees, shyly brushed a few strands of chocolate
brown hair behind his ear and cambered his lips into a very nervous kind of
smile without going so far as to face Seifer directly.
�I...� the seventeen year
old started, his eyes still fixed upon the ground, �... I said thanks.�
�Thanks?� Seifer
repeated, now at a total loss over this unpredictable turn of the tides. �What
the hell for?�
The brunette was spinning
his water bottle serenely in one hand, looking so pale and pretty, he seemed
almost ghost-like. He was still smiling, though he looked as if he had a hard
time keeping it up.
�For what you said... back
there. To him. About my painting. I... I didn�t expect that at all... And...
for still talking to me after what... I... what I said yesterday. Thanks.
Really...�
Squall was simply pressing
the words out as they came to him, not quite sure what he was saying at all or
whether his stuttering made any sense. His heart seemed to be pounding in his
throat instead of his chest, which felt deflated like a punctured balloon; he
had never quite felt so aware of his body, except for that one night in
Seifer�s kitchen, perhaps. The memory turned his cheeks scarlet, but he was too
distraught to even notice.
�You�re a strange guy...�
Seifer suddenly muttered quietly a few moments into the renewed silence,
ulitmately retaking his seat beside the brunette. �You always say the things I
least expect from you.�
The brunette had no
suitable reply to that, so he simply continued to smile that awkward smile of
his towards the grey stone surface beneath his feet. He felt Seifer�s burning
eyes on his body, but his courage still wouldn�t quite suffice to allow him to
meet the blonde�s gaze. The pain in his throat had doubled and his heart was
now beating an even more violent pattern against his writhing insides; he was
glad to have his bottle to hold on to, because if it hadn�t been for that
cheap, plastic anchor to reality to keep him grounded, he didn�t know if he
would�ve ever lasted this long.
Seifer watched him
silently, but contrary to Squall, he had forgotten entirely about the drink he
was cradling in one hand. Of all the things he had anticipated Squall to say,
�thank you� had probably been amongst the most unlikely ones - settled right
next to, in fact, �Dude, I love your guts, will you marry me so I can have your
fucking babies?�. The quiet, collected boy sitting next to him like a beautiful
marble statue was nothing like the one he had encountered and quarreled with in
the auditorium and on several other occasions - he seemed like a completely
different person altogether.
�But... he�s not. He�s
the same guy I wanted to punch comatose yesterday. He�s been the same guy all
week, right down to that second I first saw him taking off his helmet in the
parking lot. He�s just... like this, I guess. You never know what to expect
from him, but that makes him all the more interesting in a way. Squall isn�t
shallow and predictable like everyone else I know. He�s cute. He�s crabby. He�s
quick-tempered. He�s touchy. He�s so many fuckin� things. He�s...�
The blonde narrowed his
eyes to watch how Squall�s hair was swirling lightly in the breeze and how the
brunette unconsciously brushed it out of his face, a small frown creasing his
features.
Then, it finally struck
him.
How could he have ever
been so ignorant? From the very second that they had met, Squall had never been
a different person - he had never been any less difficult, any more predictable
or, for that matter, any less enticing. He had always been the same. What was
he trying to do here, anyway? Change the guy? Take him for something
that he wasn�t? Why? Granted, he wasn�t perfect, but he came close enough.
Squall was who he was, for reasons that were entirely his own.
In the end, Squall �Ice
Princess� Leonhart was just as human and fallible as the next person, and it
was wrong to expect him to be anything more than that.
Seifer knew that he would
never possess the brunette�s emotional range, or even comprehend it, but it
suddenly seemed so unimportant. He wasn�t here despite Squall�s strange and
hurtful behavior, but quite because of it. Yeah, alright, Squall�s words had
stung - a lot - but Seifer was willing to move past that. Not because he
didn�t care, but because he did.
Why this had never
occurred to him before, he really didn�t know.
�... I was just standing
around when I heard him being an ass to you,� Seifer suddenly found himself
explaining, his voice swaying evenly with the wind. �I�d been about to take off
and go home 'cause I was fuckin' bored outta my skull, but after hearing all
that... I guess I just couldn�t. If I hadn�t said anything, I would�ve hated
myself for the rest of my life.�
Seifer found nothing
glorious about this statement, because at the end of the day, it was the truth
- plain and simple without any egotistical embellishments - but Squall�s head
finally snapped up all the same. Seifer was almost stunned by the dazzling
azure tint of Squall�s eyes, but he figured that this was probably what they
truly looked like when the brunette actually let down his guard.
At last, however, it made
no difference at all whether the brunette�s eyes were blue or grey or any other
color ever fractured by the light - because when everything was said and done,
Seifer had fallen for Squall exactly as he was.
�I�m sorry for what I said
yesterday...� the brunette whispered, his inflection shaky as he forced himself
to withstand Seifer�s intent stare. �I-I�m sorry, I really am, I...�
But Seifer only smiled,
overtaken by a sort of pure, peaceful contentment he had never felt before.
�Don�t be.�
There was no need for the
brunette to excuse his behavior, rude as it might have been, because it was
clear that he must�ve had his motives. Of course, Seifer wanted to know what
exactly caused Squall�s frequent mood changes, but whether he ever would find
out or not didn�t seem all that significant at the moment. He could tell that
the brunette was trying and doing his best, and Squall�s best was good enough
for Seifer.
�I didn�t mean... When I
said that you... that I was... I really didn�t... I was such an ass, I didn�t
mean any of it, I just��
The words now came pouring
into Squall's mind like a gush of rain, much too fast for his tongue to form
and hold them properly. Seifer�s enamored grin wasn�t necessarily helping his
fluster any, and he almost dropped his water bottle when the blonde leaned
forward slightly and crooned into his ear.
�Relax, okay... It�s fine.
I know you didn�t.�
Squall continued to mouth
incoherently, but this time, no sound would spill from his lips; the glint of
humor in Seifer�s emerald orbs and the smile playing at the corners of his
mouth had shut the brunette up with infallible efficiency. As rapidly as the
senseless cluster of words had come to Squall it had also drained away, leaving
him feeling very empty-headed. Him and Seifer still sat facing each other,
their knees mere inches apart and their torsos twisted around in silent
expectation.
Things weren�t necessarily
any less complicated than they had been, but both boys felt unbelievably
reassured by the fact that they were still on speaking terms. Perhaps they both
grew up a little right then, cowering there on that fountain while gazing at
each other in a stupefied trance; perhaps the adults in them finally understood
that no matter how hard you fought and tried to hurt each other, as long as you
cared enough to swallow down your pride and apologize from the very bottom of
your heart, you could always make up.
They knew that nothing
further needed to be said on the topic. Seifer had accepted Squall�s apology,
and Squall�s burden had been eased tremendously by the realization that the
blonde was not holding a grudge. At that very moment, the brunette didn�t care
about any of his other problems, because for a few painful hours, the prospect
of never speaking to Seifer again had seemed like the most devastating of them
all. Squall had once been the type of person who never looked back or harbored
regrets, but his cruel fight with Seifer had made him want to turn back time to
undo the damage he had done.
For now, however, the woes
of the previous day and week had been swept away to be replaced by a sense of
peace and tranquility. Right now, Squall didn�t care how long this happiness
would last. His mind pushed back the memories and protected him from
remembering how much he had wanted to believe that hurting Seifer didn�t bother
him - that it was merely something he had to do to guard a happy family life
that had never been more than a figment of his tainted imagination.
Eventually, the coldness
of reality would rebind to him without a doubt, but for now, Squall was allowed
to savor the blissful luxury of being frightened of nothing at all.
The boys were basking in
the warmth of the cooling autumn sun and the flittering chill of the water
droplets that occasionally brushed the back of their necks, both taking slow
sips from their bottles and smiling at random. They would look at each other
and away again, reassured by the knowledge that whenever they would turn, their
eyes would meet once more.
Seifer, who was slightly
more accustomed to this lovey-dovey tingle of emotions than his brunette
opposite, finally decided to weave out of the silence and said softly, his
emerald gaze glued to Squall�s lithe frame, �Hey... I like you. I really do.�
The dark haired boy�s eyes
widened ever so slightly as he left the riffled neck of his water bottle tipped
against his lips without tilting it to drink. He wasn�t quite sure how to
respond to this startling, if pleasing statement, but Seifer hadn�t expected
him to, anyway. With a gentle smirk, the blonde jerked his head towards the
school building.
�Anyway. So that was your
stepfather, huh?� he aptly changed the subject.
If the topic bothered
Squall, he was hiding it well. Taking a sip of his water, he nodded slowly and
let his gaze trail off into the distance.
�Yeah.�
Seifer reminisced for a
moment to recall the man�s face, his voice, his eyes. Frankly, Squall looked
nothing like him, but there was someone who did.
�Is he Ellone�s...?�
�He�s her father,� Squall
finished the sentence, his tone slipping annoyedly without his own volition.
�She�s only my half-sister, if you wanna get technical about it.�
�I don�t.�
The brunette relaxed when
he understood that Seifer had meant no harm by his question. Subconsciously, he
cursed his own touchiness and vowed that, no matter what Seifer was going to
ask him next, he would not launch down the blonde�s throat. They were walking
on thin ice right now, and by all means, he did not want to break it.
�Do you and him get along
or what?� Seifer asked evenly, motioning towards the building again. �He seemed
a bit, erh...�
For a lack of the perfect
term, Seifer waved his hand in a noncommittal gesture and grimaced sourly. The
question twisted Squall�s insides into a tight knot, but the brunette ignored
the painful sensation and retained a wholly neutral expression. Shrugging, he
continued to nurse his drink, before he finally sighed, �I guess. I don�t know.
I don�t particularly like him, but he�s alright.�
�Is he?� Seifer
inquired with a curious lift of his eyebrow.
�Yeah. We' just totally different
people,� Squall answered evasively. �He�s a lawyer with no sense for art and
creativity whatsoever. He thinks I�m wasting my life away, but I guess that�s
fine, too.�
Seifer couldn�t quite help
the feeling that Squall was only sharing very selective bits about his
relationship with Kato Kearan, but perhaps it had been foolish to ask in the
first place. It was plain to see that the brunette and his stepfather weren�t
getting on too well, but the same could be said about Seifer and his dad, too.
The blonde could recall more yell fests with his father than he cared to
remember, most of them being over Seifer�s behavior, future, clothes, grades
and, of course, sexual preference. In fact, a good number of Seifer�s
ever-casual flings had been invoked by the mere desire to piss his father off.
While Seifer was brooding
on his relationship with his old man, Squall had curled one leg to his chest
and was resting his chin on his kneecap. The loveliness of the sight
immediately cleared the shadows from Seifer�s mind and he smiled gently at his
friend, a certain rapt cloudiness to his gaze.
�You really are cute, you
know,� he declared in a tone that came low from his throat and was interlaced
with fondness.
�Shut up...�
Squall tried to look
annoyed, but couldn�t quite pull it off. He was far too happy to conjure up his
usual scowl and death glare, but that suited him just fine. After all,
happiness wasn�t something he had the pleasure to experience very often, and in
the back of his mind, he knew well enough that it wouldn�t last. Right now, his
soul was like the sky above their heads - bright and cloudless - but of course,
the first signs of tempest were already gathering at the edge of the horizon.
Still, he would deny them
for as long as he could.
�I was kinda worried I�d
never get to talk to you again,� Seifer said calmly, his eyes screening
Squall�s face very attentively. �We�ve had a rough ass week, but... I�ll admit,
you�ve pretty much got me hooked.�
�Hooked...?�
The brunette was returning
his gaze, looking more like an innocent, na�ve kitten than ever. Of course he
had a vague concept of what Seifer meant, but at the same time, he had no clue.
The blonde simply grinned at him, unwilling to elaborate.
�Can I ask you somethin�?�
Squall furrowed his pretty
features at the blonde�s deliberately unclear question, but after steeling
himself against whatever was to come next, he nodded.
�... I guess,� he replied
hesitantly.
�Just don�t lash out at
me, alright?�
�... Right.�
�Okay,� Seifer started,
sounding only mildly reassured. He was playing with his Gatorade bottle and
glancing at the school building as if to make sure that nobody would emerge and
approach them to interrupt their conversation, before he finally snared
Squall�s gaze with his own. �Have you ever been with a guy before...?�
�W-what?�
The brunette had flushed a
spectacular shade of crimson and was looking quite cross. Seifer just smiled at
him encouragingly, sensing the turmoil that his question had stirred in his
younger friend. He knew it had been a chancy thing to ask, but Squall had
seemed placated enough to give the question a fair shot. After all, the
brunette�s apology for his rudeness did not necessarily imply that he
reciprocated Seifer�s feelings, interest or anything of the sort. For his peace
of mind, Seifer just had to know.
�What kinda question is
that supposed to be?� Squall choked, trying to sound brave despite his fluster.
�Alright, lemme ask this
differently then,� Seifer accommodated him cannily. �I guess what I wanna know
is if I�ve got any kinda chance with ya or... uh, not.�
�Ch-chance? W-wha...
whasthasupposeto-�
Squall seemed positively
frightened now, but since he hadn�t flipped into hostile mode, Seifer didn�t
feel too threatened yet.
�Well,� he interrupted the
boy�s futile attempt at talking. �You heard what I said earlier... I said I
like you.�
Apparently, this left the
younger at a loss of words, because he no longer even managed to stammer
incoherently anymore. Seifer�s question didn�t necessarily come as a surprise,
since the blonde�s interest had been rather obvious, but even so, Squall seemed
over-tasked with the situation.
�W-what am I supposed
to say to that? I-I don�t know if he... I mean... this isn�t just up to me! He
makes it sound like... like... guh. This... fuck. Ngh... who am I kidding here,
anyway? He... he said he liked me, and he looks like he means it, so at this
point, it is up to me. But... I don�t know what to do... I don�t... I
swear I don�t...�
�Look,� Seifer sighed, but
he sounded patient. �I�m not asking you to marry me, alright? I wanna hang out
with you and all that good stuff, then we�ll take it from there, okay? I just
wanna know if, say, I had the balls to tackle ya with a kiss, whether you�d
really go and �castrate� me like you threatened you would.�
Squall looked dumbfounded
for a moment, before his embarrassment caught up with him once more. He wasn�t
sure if he could handle what Seifer was suggesting, but at the same time, the
thought of crushing what could possibly be between them made Squall�s heart
sink. In the end, he couldn�t deny that being around Seifer felt incredibly
fucking good and that his caresses had a sort of healing power on Squall�s
wounded, tortured soul. Of course, the mental connection to the terror that he
knew so well was close at hand, but just this one time, this one, special
minute, Squall was feeling invincible - like he could cope with whatever was to
come, no matter how painful or destructive it might be.
And thus, he slowly shook
his head.
�No... I wouldn�t.�
A devilishly satisfied
grin split Seifer�s lips and Squall inched backwards hastily.
�B-but not here!� he
exclaimed in a cutely horrified way, anxiously looking around.
�Hey now,� Seifer
chuckled. �I have more self-control than that, kitten.�
The brunette snorted
ironically, �Whatever.�
�Well, the amount of my
self-control is directly proportional to your hotness - so don�t blame me,
cupcake.�
With his face still pink,
Squall re-focused his gaze onto the concrete. He noticed Seifer adjusting his
position so that their knees suddenly came in contact, and neither of them did
anything to rectify this. Perhaps it really wasn�t so bad; the light touch felt
nice without a doubt, and anyone happening to walk by wouldn�t have thought
much of it. They looked like friends, high school buddies, something harmless
along those lines, but even though they had never quite made it to friendship
level, they had already progressed far beyond that stage.
Squall was about to
submerge himself in that pleasant feeling of mellowness, when a shrill noise in
his pocket shook him out of his stupor.
�What the�?� Seifer
jumped.
The dark haired teen
reached into the back pocket of his jeans and gestured in explanation, �My
cell.�
�Oh.�
With a sigh, the brunette
flipped his sleek, silver mobile phone open and held it to his ear.
�Yeah? --- Hey, Mom. ---
... What?�
There was a pause, during
which Seifer studied the brunette boy intently. He could literally watch how
Squall�s lucid features slipped and produced his usual, unhappy frown, while a
dark veil seemed to drop before his eyes, causing them to look distant and
lacking their former luster. The seventeen year old was listening to his
mother, who was at the other end of the line, with a stony expression. Finally,
he nodded to himself.
�Alright, I�ll meet you at
the car. --- No, it�s fine. --- No. I�ll come. --- I said it�s fine. Don�t
worry. --- Okay.�
With that, he removed the
receiver from his ear and snapped the phone shut again. He seemed reluctant to
meet Seifer�s gaze, but finally tilted his head to face the blonde.
�What was that all about?�
Seifer asked.
�We�re leaving,� Squall
explained tonelessly.
�Huh? Why? Didn�t she say
she wanted to watch the play or somethin�?�
The brunette shrugged, but
he sounded bitter when he spoke.
�We came here in one car
and something came up at my stepfather�s office... so... we�re all taking off
together.�
�I can give you a ride,�
Seifer offered promptly, but Squall only grimaced.
�Thanks, but I'd better
go.�
�But��
�I don�t wanna argue about
this, alright?� Squall snapped, his tone suddenly sharp. �Just... whatever.
I�ll see you in school tomorrow.�
He leapt up and swerved on
the heel to distance himself from Seifer as quickly as he could, but the blonde
had risen as well.
�What�s wrong?� Seifer
inquired, his serious inflection suggesting concern.
�Nothing,� Squall sniped
aggressively, already stalking down the winding path towards one of the parking
lots.
Suddenly, he stopped.
Seifer watched his back
rising and falling eccentrically, until Squall finally turned around, his lips
forced into something that very dimly resembled a smile. His eyes carried that
same, vacant glow from the day before in the auditorium, and it worried Seifer
though he couldn�t quite explain why.
�I�m sorry,� Squall
whispered throatily, his voice holding an unusual strain. �I�ll see you
tomorrow, okay?�
With his golden brows
laced together in obvious disapproval, Seifer said nothing. He didn�t
understand what was going on precisely, but he knew that he didn�t like the
abrupt change that Squall�s mood had undergone. For a while there, the brunette
had actually seemed relaxed and happy, but his contentment had been swapped for
a kind of agitation that Seifer found nothing short of abnormal.
�Sorry... I really gotta
go. Bye.�
Puzzled, Seifer watched
him taking off in a hurried stride. He had absolutely no idea what to make of
this. Sure, Squall had seemed apologetic for his abrupt departure, but his
behavior was just plain odd. Secrecy seemed to be firmly braided into the
brunette�s personality and nothing could drive Seifer crazier than a mystery he
was unable to solve. He finally felt like he was making some progress, but
somewhere, somehow, someone seemed determined to thwart his plans.
Frowning, the blonde
glared down at the empty bottle of Gatorade he was still holding.
�I�ll find out what�s
going on, even if it�s the last fucking thing I ever do.�
And he sealed his furious
vow with yet another willingly given sacrifice to the God of shriveled cans,
bottles and shattered ceramic coffee mugs.

She had
apologized to him throughout the entire ride back home, but he would�ve
preferred for her to just remain silent. It hadn�t been her fault in the first
place. He knew why he had been forced to leave the school festival prematurely;
it had nothing to do with his mother. Nothing at all. Squall knew why he was
now loitering in the foyer of their home, mentally preparing for the storm that
was about to unleash upon him.
�I really could�ve picked
you up later,� her voice cut through his thoughts and into his mind as she
stood in the doorway, turning to leave. �Are you sure you don�t want me to drop
you off so you can watch the play? Seifer might still be there! Or why don�t
you take your bike, hm?�
Squall shook his head for
the dozenth time in a row. For a moment, he found himself wondering how Kato
had accomplished to have both himself and his wife, who worked part time at his
office as a secretary, called out for �an important case that needed immediate
attention.� Of course, this involved Raine leaving early for the downtown
location of their office, while Kato would travel separately to �meet certain
witnesses imperative to the case.� Perhaps there really was a case, perhaps there
wasn�t, but it made no difference either way. Kneading his wristbands, Squall
forced himself to smile at his mother as she walked out through the door.
�No, I�m okay. Really.�
�Well, alright then... I
suppose you're old enough to know what you want. I love you, sweetie, see you
later!�
�Yeah. Bye, Mom.�
Cringing as the heavy oak
door loudly locked into place behind her, Squall tried to look unbothered even
though he realized that his throat was so constricted that he could hardly
swallow. His acute ears listened for sounds that would herald the inevitable
bout of sorrow that was to come, and they didn�t have to listen for very long.
A few minutes after Raine had taken her leave, Squall finally perceived the
unsettling noise of expensive Italian designer shoes treading firmly over
finest marble tiles.
�Well, well, well...�
He barely managed to keep
himself from flinching at the cruelty that grated over his stepfather�s voice.
Very slowly, he reeled around to face the man he loathed from the very bottom
of his wounded heart. Kato was standing smugly with his weight balanced on one
foot and his arms crossed before his chest in the center of the entrance hall.
He had removed his suit jacket and loosened his silk tie, which was dangling
around his neck.
Squall�s stomach coiled.
�What?� the teen snarled,
struggling to keep his voice from quaking.
�What? What?� Kato
imitated him mockingly, sneering when Squall held his gaze. �My, look at this.
Someone's feeling tough today, eh, Squall?�
The man took a few
calculated steps towards his stepson, who was wrestling down the urge to back
away. Seeing the boy wince in fear and apprehension sparked within Kato a surge
of purest satisfaction, one so powerful it easily overrode how ever many scarce
qualms he might�ve once harbored towards his own despicable actions. He felt
exactly like a predator stalking its prey, and what marvelous prey it ever was.
His pale, willowy stepson much resembled an innocent fawn trapped in the sight
of a patiently waiting marauder, even if Squall�s perfectly grey eyes still
bore a pretense of bravery and pride very much unfit for a victim.
�Go to your room,� the
ebony haired man ordered, his inflection silky and persuasive in a sick, playful
way. After all, this was just a game - it would never yield any kind of
serious consequences to him, because Kato Kearan played his games far too well.
For a split second, Squall
seemed to contemplate offering resistance, but he had long eased into his fate
of pain and repeated degradation. With a graceful twist of his neck, he turned
and wordlessly proceeded up the stairs. Kato followed him, but carefully kept
his distance, as if leaving Squall in the illusion that he still had some
chance at escape.
Squall, however, already
knew so much better than that.
The teenager didn�t pause
when he reached the top of the stairs; with a few, fluid steps he had entered
his bedroom, which swathed him with the same antsy, creeping sensation that it
always did. Unfortunately, this neatly decorated place had stopped feeling like
a safe haven a long time ago.
Once more, he turned when
he heard footsteps behind him, though their sound was stifled once they made
the transition from hard wood floor to carpet. This time, he did flinch when
his eyes met with the icy, hard grey orbs set so deeply into sharp,
aristocratic features that would never understand the meaning of the word
�gentleness.� Thoroughly unkind, the man sized his stepson up and regarded him
with a smile as sweet as poison. Very slowly, savoring each step, he approached
the trembling brunette.
�Seifer,� he suddenly
lilted, his voice swaying melodically. �Seifer Almasy.�
Squall�s breath went
shallow as the man incrementally moved into him until their bodies were mere
inches apart. His stepfather�s stench, masked by expensive cologne, evoked a
nausea so powerful he could barely suppress his need to regurgitate; he wanted
to run as fast as his legs would carry him, but there was no place for him to
go - there never, ever had been. In the end, this was his life and this was the
man who defined his suffering. He had accepted this years ago.
Kato was looking down upon
him, smiling shrewdly. He might have looked kind, hadn�t the insanity flaring
in his now dark grey eyes ruined the picture. Squall didn�t want to hear the
man say Seifer�s name again, but of course, his blonde classmate had to be the
main reason for Kato�s strange and alarming behavior.
�You see, Squall, when
your mother said you�d be staying over at a classmate�s house, I thought you�d
made yourself a cute, nerdy little friend,� the dark haired man crooned
scathingly. �I kind of imagined a skinny, pale little thing who�s into this
crap you call art and cutting up his limbs for pastime�s sake - someone just like
you, you know.�
Squall let out a hiss when
his stepfather grasped his right forearm and held on demonstratively tight to
his wrist, but the man didn�t pull, push or do anything of the like; he simply
satisfied himself with wrenching his fingers into his child�s delicate flesh.
�Why, I had no idea this
�friend� of yours would turn out to be a handsome blonde football player,� Kato
snarled, his voice coming much sharper now and the fake sweetness of it
shredded at last. �I�ll admit, Squall, you surprised me there. Do you have a
crush on him, is that it?�
For the first time, Squall
tried to yank his arm back, but he might as well have tried to break an iron
vice. This day as always, Squall�s brave endeavors would buy him no peace or
comfort, only more suffering. His blood had turned colder with each of Kato�s
words, conquered by the incredible chill that dominated the man�s temper and
soul. Squall was rightfully angry, frightened and desperate, and yet he was
also much too proud to surrender.
�No,� he spat resentfully.
�I don�t.�
Whether this was true or
not actually mattered very little. In any case, Squall was not going to grant
his stepfather the satisfaction of knowing that he had struck a sensitive spot.
�No? Well gee, how odd,�
Kato trilled, but there was nothing friendly or humorous about his tone. �I
know you didn�t suddenly develop an interest in the sport, so it must be the
jock you�re fascinated with. I�ll hand it to you, he was an eyeful. Didn�t look
too bright, but hey, you don�t need brains to fuck, do you? You have a crush on
him... I can tell that you do.�
�No,� Squall repeated
through ground teeth. �No.�
�Aww, boo-hoo. �No�, he
says,� the man spoke mockingly, still jovial. �How cute.�
But his smile vanished
from his lips when he used his leverage on Squall�s arm to flip the brunette
around and slam him face-first into the wall that didn�t yield the boy�s
weight. He ignored his stepson�s muffled yelp of pain as stone and bones
collided; with eyes that glowed dark in obsession, he brought his mouth to the
brunette�s ear.
�Are you fucking him?�
Immobilized by Kato�s body
pinning him against the wall from behind, Squall could merely gasp in a hybrid
of outrage and terror. Trying to turn his head to allow more space between
himself and the angry man�s lips, he growled in the most defiant intonation he
could muster, �I don�t know what you�re talking ab��
Squall�s breath hitched
when Kato twisted his arm in a very unnatural angle and his body went stock
still.
�D-don�t,� Squall
whispered unevenly, his face blank and white from the pain, �I swear, I haven�t
done anything wi��
�Shut up!� the man behind
him barked, tightening his hold to a point where Squall saw dull sparks
imprinted in his vision. �Spare me your fucking bullshit, Squall! I saw how the
bastard looked at you!�
For a brief moment, Squall
was overcome by the urge to cry and scream, to ask why Kato was even
interrogating him if he knew all this so goddamn well. But the brunette�s
persistent silence was only interrupted by his irregular, harsh breathing
pattern. He didn�t know what to say to explain Seifer�s eyes on him and he
didn�t want to defend himself. He was well aware that he would pay, no matter
what brilliant excuse he might come up with, so what was the point in pleading?
There was none. He knew,
because he had tried.
�I don�t care if he wants
you,� Kato purred against his earlobe, continuously firming his grasp. �He�s
shit out of luck, you understand that?�
�I��
�The little fuck thinks
he�s so special because he knows what your precious art is all about. Precious,
precious art...�
Suddenly, Squall found
himself being flung out of the room and into the hallway, where Kato jerked him
like a rag doll from picture frame to picture frame, yelling hysterically at
the top of his lungs.
�Fucking lions! You never
draw anything else, do you? Lions! LIONS! Nothing but goddamn, filthy fucking
lions!�
Squall was too startled to
resist when he was violently being pulled towards the staircase, where more of
his feral pictures lined the walls.
�Your little friend knows
nothing that I don�t! You hear me? NOTHING! I know you better than you know
yourself!�
It was difficult to say
whether Kato had intended to throw his stepson down the stairs or if it had
merely been a predictable accident, but when he shoved Squall towards one of
his larger paintings, the velocity behind his thrust inevitably caused the
disheveled teenager to trip and lose balance. With a series of blood curling
thuds caused by flesh rocking against solid wood, Squall plummeted down the
unforgivingly hard steps, until his body came to a skidding halt on the first
platform.
For several seconds,
Squall saw nothing - heard nothing - felt nothing. He lay coiled together at
the foot of the stairs, his lungs wheezing and his sight momentarily blackened
from the impact. He didn�t fully understand what had happened, why he had
fallen and was now in this defenseless position, but nonetheless, he tried to
feel for the control of his limbs if only to steel himself for what was to
follow. Gingerly, he moved his feet, his legs, his hands, his arms, his...
As he was laying there on
the floor, cowering in a miserable heap, a hot, raw flash of pain coursed
through his body the moment he made the mistake of trying to raise his left
arm. His shoulder was burning with anguish that caused white lights to flash in
strobes before his eyes. He didn�t know whether he was even capable of moving
his arm, but he didn�t dare to try again. All blood left his face as he attempted
to sit up without the support of his left hand. Cold sweat beaded along his
brows, and the effort of holding back the tears stinging his blurred sight and
smothering the groan from his lips was almost enough to break him.
Then, he saw those
ridiculously expensive Italian leather shoes and black Armani slacks slowly
descending towards him. With his heart pounding a violent rhythm in his chest,
he continued to struggle against gravity and the sourness in his throat that
was trying to coax him into throwing up. His shoulder hurt so much he wanted
nothing more than to weep, but he contained every sound deep within his body,
holding his head up to look at the man who had inflicted this excruciating hurt
upon him.
He lifted himself as high
as he could and rested his back against the wall, to watch as he panted heavily
how his stepfather approached him. His face pale as the waning moon and his
eyes beclouded with agony, he forced his gaze to steady. Kato had stopped
shortly before him and studied his stepson meticulously, as if to assess the
damage that he had done. Squall didn�t know how much of it was visible, but he
tried hard not to look too pained.
Frankly, he would rather
be dead than at this monster�s mercy.
�See,� Kato finally
drawled, uncanny satisfaction oozing from the words, �You shouldn�t backtalk
me, Squall. People get hurt when you do. You could�ve broken something.�
Squall�s breath came in
quick, flat thrusts that wavered due to the torment that had seized his body,
yet he managed to endure his guardian�s psychotic gaze. This was one of those
times when something behind Kato�s forehead had snapped completely and Squall
knew better than to say anything that would aggravate the situation further.
Instead, he monitored from beneath fluttering, coal black lashes how his
stepfather straightened out his shirt and fastened his tie.
�Time to go to work,� Kato
declared pleasantly, but his eyes narrowed when they focused on Squall. �Get
yourself cleaned up before your mother and I get home. Perhaps I�ll return early
for a chance to demonstrate how else I reprimand misbehavior. Yes... yes, that
would be quite appropriate, don�t you think?�
Squall blinked very
slowly, still trying to bite back the tears while he turned inwards. At this
point, no threat, whether empty or not, could frighten him. What worried him
most was the feeling that something was seriously wrong with his shoulder. It
could be broken, dislocated - it could be a lot of things that Squall was
downright scared to think of.
�Yes, I daresay that it would
be. Well, I�ll be back soon, Squall.�
With a cracked sigh of
relief, Squall watched him vanishing like a ludicrous nightmare. He listened
for the front door opening and closing, then for the sound of his stepfather�s
car pulling out of the driveway. Only when he was sure that Kato had gone did
he allow himself to double over in pain and weep tearlessly as he tried to get
a grip on his panic.
�He�s gone... pull
yourself together... you�ve gotta get up... you�ve gotta figure out what�s
wrong... you... unh...�
Under great strain, Squall
managed to push himself up along the wall with his right arm. His knees were
quavering as if they were missing the bones, but they didn�t buckle. Holding
his breath, he carefully smoothed the fingers of his right hand over the grey
cotton fabric that covered his shoulder, only to confirm that he had indeed
dislocated the joint. It felt wrong, painful and displaced, but worst of all,
Squall had no idea how to fix it. Naively, he tried to slip the joint back into
place by pushing against the round of his shoulder, but he quickly discarded
that idea as it hurt far too much. Panting, he leaned against the wall and
racked his brain for a solution to his acute dilemma.
�I can�t go see a
doctor, they�d ask too many questions... Fuck... I-I don�t know what to do... I
need to get this fixed by the time Mom gets home, or she�ll know something
happened... Shit, it hurts... What the hell am I supposed to do? I don�t
know... I don�t have a clue... I can�t fix it by myself, there�s no way... I
can�t even move my damn arm! But there�s gotta be something I can do...�
Squall didn�t know whether
to blame the sudden idea that dawned on him like a light in pitch black
darkness on his ailing state or a simple onset of madness, but it was there,
imprinted into his mind, growing stronger. Really, it was absurd, ridiculous,
downright laughable - but even so, Squall�s brain kept persuading him that if
there was just one person in the world whom he trusted even the tiniest bit, it
had to be...
�Seifer...�
Squall didn�t like this
notion very much, but realistically, it was the only one that he had. Perhaps
Seifer would be able to come up with some kind of clever theory to get Squall
out of this precarious situation, because the brunette�s mind was as empty as a
fresh piece of canvas. He had no other family to ask for help and certainly no
other friends, and the hospital was plainly out of the question. The last thing
he felt like dealing with was some nosy nurse on a humanitarian trip to save
battered children from harm. Squall didn�t need anyone to save him - all he
needed was someone to mend his goddamn shoulder so he could keep on pretending
that everything else in his life was just fine.
Inhaling sharply, Squall
took a few steps down the staircase. The movement hurt more than he had
expected, but come what may, he had to get downstairs. After several agonizing
minutes, Squall had managed to drag himself into the lobby, where he had to
halt and catch his breath. His vision of the room before him was dangerously
blurred and skewed, but he ignored the possibility that he might�ve suffered
more than just a dislocated joint. Gulping, he approached the phone that sat on
an ornate wooden dresser and picked up the receiver. In the end, it took him a
long time to wrestle up the courage to finally call the hotline of the White
Pages.
�I can�t believe it,
why am I doing this?... I�ve gotta be out of my fuckin� mind, I-�
When a cool, female voice
answered his call, Squall almost dropped the phone in shock.
�--- Oh... uh, yeah... I
need the n-number for Seifer Almasy, please. --- That�s A-L-M-A-S-Y. --- Uh...
Deling City. State of Galbadia.�
�This is ridiculous,
he�s probably not even listed, he-�
�... What? Y-you do...?
Oh... okay... --- Uh... cell phone. --- Can you transfer me? --- Alright...�
Naturally, Squall had been
unable to copy down the phone number that the call center agent had provided
him with, so he waited quietly until he was directly transferred to Seifer�s
cell phone number and a slow, even beeping tone announced that he had actually
made it through. Squall�s heartbeat accelerated with every single mechanic ring
tone and he found himself gripping the receiver more tightly than was necessary
as he tried to block out the piercing pain in his shoulder.
�Pick up... Come on...
Please... I don�t know what else to do if this falls through... Fuck, I don�t
even know if this is a good id-�
�Hello?�
With a jolt, Squall
recognized the husky voice that finally interrupted the monotone ring with a
bored drawl. He gasped quietly in both relief and anxiety, and he almost forgot
that Seifer could neither see him nor sense his distress, and thus was probably
taken aback by the persistent silence.
�Hello? Hey! Who the fuck
is this? Listen, punk, if this is a prank call, I�ll��
�... S-Seifer?�
There was a short pause
and Seifer sounded distinctly less hostile when he spoke again.
�... Squall? Is that you?�
�Uhm... yeah, i-it�s me.�
�What�s up? You sound
kinda weird. Everything alright?�
Squall blinked a couple of
times at the handset he was holding. Maybe Seifer could sense his misery after
all, he thought with a start. After all, Squall had tried hard to sound
unperturbed, but perhaps his stutter had simply given him away.
�Squall? Hey! What�s goin�
on? Are you okay?�
�C-can you...�
�Can I what?�
�Can you... can you come
over? To my house, I mean. I-I think I... I might need your help... If you�re
busy that�s fine, it�s not important... It�s not a big deal, I just...�
These were some of the
most difficult words that Squall had ever been forced to speak in his life, but
at the same time, they had been less of a hurdle than he had originally
imagined. Perhaps he really did trust Seifer more than he liked to admit. In
the end, there was just something about the blonde that Squall had never come
across before � a kind of power and unwavering confidence that seemed to make
up for Squall�s own, shredded self-esteem.
�I�m not busy. What�s
wrong?�
Seifer�s voice sounded
sharper now, with a much greater sense of urgency coating his inflection.
�Well, I... sort of
dislocated my shoulder and��
�You what?�
The brunette had to move
the receiver a few inches from his head, because Seifer�s outraged bark had
been loud enough to puncture his eardrums. Clumsily, he tried to explain.
"I dislocated my
shoulder... I think I did, anyway. I can�t move it. It feels, well... weird...�
�How the fuck did
you do that? You were fine less than an hour ago!�
�I... uh... mh...�
�Whatever, never mind, you
can tell me later. I�ll be there in ten minutes, okay? I�m on the freeway right
now, so it won�t take me long.�
�Okay.�
�Don�t do anything stupid,
alright? Don�t walk around and try not to move your shoulder!�
Squall grimaced in
response, but replied rather obediently, �Okay.�
�It�s really not like I
could move it even if I was hell-bent on the idea.�
�Gimme your phone number
so I can call ya back if I have to.�
Squall hesitated, but not
for long. It was as if the walls he had erected about himself were crumbling
steadily, or at least they were falling for one particular person alone. Then
again, Seifer had already proven to be perfectly capable of simply walking
through Squall�s desperate barriers, permission or not, so what did it even matter
anymore?
�It�s... 661-3827. That�s
my cell...� the brunette shared the treasured digits slowly, suddenly realizing
that he had been carrying his cell phone in his pocket all along.
��Kay, got it. Hang tight,
kitten, I�ll be there before you know it!�
�... Okay.�
�See ya in a minute.�
�Yeah. Bye.�
When the brunette hung up
the phone, he was troubled by the compulsory question of whether he had done
the right thing by calling his older classmate and begging for his assistance.
Naturally, Seifer would want an explanation for his physically handicapped
state, but in the end, what other - let alone better - choice had Squall
had, anyway?
�None, I guess... but
still...�
Sighing and biting his lip
as he was met with the jab of pain in his shoulder, Squall sank into one of the
comfortable, squishy armchairs that were scattered along one wall of the lobby.
Flush with Seifer�s order not to do anything stupid, he simply sat there,
listening to the stoic ticking of his mother�s favorite grandfather clock. The
minutes crept by too slowly, testing Squall�s quickly draining patience. More
than once did he reach for his shoulder but thought better of it and dropped
his hand back into his lap, groaning. He knew that his mother would show up
again before long, considering she had to pick up Ellone from her kindergarten
trip and take her back home.
What Raine would say if
she saw him in this state, Squall didn�t even dare to think about.
Finally, after what had
felt like eternity and then some, there was a rapping on the door. Squall
jumped out of his seat, immediately regretting the harsh, imprudent movement.
Hissing a curse, he staggered to the front door and tore it open with his one
arm that was still fully functional. A blast of hot air from the bright day
outside enveloped his body and caused him to grunt in irritation. Blinking, he
made out the rough, dark lines of a brawny figure before him.
�I�m here!� a hoarse voice
thundered loudly, depriving Squall of the chance to say very much of anything.
�I�m here! What happened? Which shoulder is it?�
The brunette arched his
brows when his eyes had gradually adjusted to the different light setting and
he could actually distinguish Seifer�s features. The blonde was panting as if
he had just completed a full marathon and his face was glowing with worry that
he made no attempt to conceal.
�Seifer...�
The blonde anxiously
looked him up and down, and his feverish gaze ultimately halted when it raked
over the dark haired boy�s bare arms.
�Squall! What the fuck
happened? Your arms...�
Seifer didn�t finish that
sentence but instead narrowed his eyes and strode into the house. Without
awaiting Squall�s reaction, he carefully brushed his fingertips across the
boy�s skin, which was covered in ribbons of fresh scratches and bruises. For a
brief moment, Squall seemed stunned, as if he hadn�t noticed those angry blue
and red marks before. Then he hastily closed the door and took a half-step
backwards.
�It�s no big deal,� he
muttered, but his face had fallen. �Just scratches...�
These wounds, however,
would prove much more difficult to hide than the scars that had been covering
his wrists for years.
�No big deal?� Seifer
repeated in a tone of voice that had hitched several octaves. �You�re fuckin�
kidding! What happened?�
Squall�s head streaked to the
side as the brunette cast his gaze to a random adjacent wall.
�I fell.�
�You fell?� the blonde
gasped incredulously. �What do you mean, you fell?�
His opposite motioned
upwards vaguely, �I tripped and fell down the stairs... that�s how I dislocated
my shoulder, too...�
Various emotions and
thoughts flitted visibly across Seifer�s face as he studied the brunette�s
pasty white skin, the bruises and the downright wrong angle the younger teen
was holding his arm, but he said nothing. Squall couldn�t tell whether the
blonde believed him or thought better of it, but eventually, Seifer simply
sighed and pointed at the door.
�Right, you fell...� the
older teen growled almost exasperatedly. �Well, whatever. Just get in the car,
I�ll take you to the hospital.�
�What?� Squall shot
back panicky, his voice cracking with fright. �But... I thought maybe you
could...�
�I could what? Pop your
shoulder back into place? No fuckin� way. I want someone who knows what the
hell they�re doing to take care of ya!�
Squall frowned
challengingly in response.
�Are you telling me you
don�t know how to do it?� he asked with a calculating undertone.
Seifer seemed taken aback
by this, and he folded his arms before his chest defensively.
�I do, but my point is-�
�Great. Let�s get this
over with, then.�
Saying nothing further,
Squall turned around and proceeded to totter towards the staircase, leaving
behind an utterly baffled blonde who was still holding his truck keys in one
hand.
�But... hey!� Seifer bellowed
after him. �Now wait just a minute...!�
Apparently, however,
�waiting� was not a term that existed in Squall Leonhart�s vocabulary. With
legs wobbly as half-set jelly, the brunette was ascending the stairs. He had a
much more troublesome time going up than he did down and every step was sapping
his already waning energy.
Seifer, who was still
rooted to the spot, saw him struggling and couldn�t help but admit defeat.
Where Squall was concerned, he was just a downright damn sucker. Grunting in
annoyance, he finally took after his ailing friend.
�Goddamn stubborn brat.�
While he fought for
balance and listened to Seifer jogging up the stairs behind him, Squall�s mind
was smoldering with worries. He knew he could coax Seifer into fixing his
shoulder by taking a swing at his pride, but somewhere down the road, this
would come with a price - the blonde would start asking questions. Squall had
been afraid of this since the very beginning and he could feel his defenses
starting to rise once more. He was foolish for not dealing with this issue on
his own, for starting to talk to Seifer again, for growing so attached to a
person he hardly knew, for...
�Put your arm around my
shoulder. The healthy one, I mean.�
Surprised, Squall glanced
up as Seifer�s voice jarred him from his monologues. Pursing his lips to a
pout, he grumbled, �I can walk on my own.�
�And I can waltz through a
daisy field naked, but that�s beside the fuckin� point,� Seifer bit back,
trying to keep up his strict fa�ade even when Squall�s face twisted in
amusement. �Gimme your damn arm already! Jeez.�
Sighing under his breath,
Squall submitted to the stern order. In the firm belief that Seifer was simply
going to assist him with the task of dragging his body up each step, he allowed
the blonde to lace his right arm around his brawny shoulder.
A second later, he was
forced to rectify that thought.
Before he had a chance to
object, Seifer knocked his legs out from beneath him and swooped him into his
arms without faltering even an inch under Squall�s weight. In a rather
business-like fashion, he adjusted his grasp on the slender teen�s upper body
and legs and tilted him against his chest, ignoring the physical struggle that
ensued.
�H-hey! What the hell are
you��
�Yeah yeah, it�s horrible,
I know,� the blonde interrupted his protests impatiently, not without grinning
faintly when he noticed how nice and close Squall�s blushing face was to his
own. �We goin� to your room or what?�
�Yes, no, I mean... Put
me down!� Squall ordered brusquely, though he came to the conclusion that
Seifer wasn�t going to do anything of the like.
Feeling rather embarrassed
and unhappy with his current position, he promptly decided to resort to more
diplomatic measures.
�Come on, this isn�t
funny... put me down! Please? Come on! Seifer!�
He was unable to snake out
of the older boy�s embrace, and it wasn�t for a lack of effort, either. The
blonde was holding on to him quite easily and continued up the stairs without
batting so much as a lash at Squall�s physical display of objection.
�Hey, I�m talking to you,
dammit!� Squall snapped, but he flinched and fell silent when he made the
mistake of trying to flail his left arm.
�Ow... fuck, that
hurt... shit... damn him!�
�Stop moving, you�re just
gonna hurt yourself,� Seifer advised neutrally, before he added, a bit more
placidly, �Don�t worry, it�s not like you�re heavy or anything.�
�I don�t care, put me
down! Stop, you moron!�
�No and no,� Seifer
quipped curtly. �You were the one who came up with the brilliant idea of having
me fix your shoulder, so shut up and deal with it.�
�But...! I didn�t tell you
to do this!�
�That�s right. Consider it
a freebie, cupcake.�
�Hey, fuck you!�
�Aww. I�ll let ya throw
something at me later, I promise,� the blonde cackled.
When he caught a glimpse of
Seifer�s smirking visage, Squall finally realized that this was a battle long
lost and sulking, he settled into his fate. He would, however, issue random,
offended grunts as Seifer carried him upstairs and ultimately into his room,
where the blonde carefully set him down on the neatly made bed.
Suddenly, it seemed as if
the air around them had changed. Their bantering on the way had lightened the
mood, but when Squall�s nails raked over the white linen sheets that covered
his mattress, he felt nothing short of scared. The numerous quick breaths he
inhaled did little to calm him and neither did Seifer�s tall figure towering
above him at the edge of the bed. With an emotionless face that was meant to
look unperturbed but didn�t, Squall gazed up at the blonde and drew his
eyebrows together.
�Well?� he demanded, his
voice hoarse.
�'Well' what?� Seifer
retorted evenly, shifting his weight on his right foot.
Squall frowned at him
impatiently.
�Are you going to get on
with it or what?�
Seifer noticed the nervous
silhouette to the boy�s tone. Squall was doing his best to pretend that he was
fine, but his performance wasn�t too convincing. His shoulder had to hurt
pretty badly; Seifer himself had dislocated his own on several occasions during
his football player career. Squall, however, wasn�t a football player and his
story of having �fallen down the stairs� just had a funny ring to it. He knew
of Squall�s aversion for doctors, but why hadn�t the brunette called his
parents instead of him? Where were his parents, anyway?
Just as he was about to
ask that particular question, the brunette snarled at him in discontent.
�Will you get a fucking
move on already?�
Seifer cocked a brow at
the vicious glow in Squall�s dark blue eyes and instinctively, he clasped his
arms in front of his chest, looking defensive.
�I really don�t think this
is a good idea,� he bit. �It�s not like I�m a fuckin� nurse, ya know.�
�I don�t care, alright?
Just do it!�
But Seifer was still
bristling against the thought of doing anything out of the ordinary to Squall�s
joints or any other delicate part of his body. The brunette was acting as if
this was just about strapping a bandage on a bleeding wrist, but Seifer deemed
it something entirely different. In this particular situation, he was afraid of
doing more harm than good.
�Look,� he sighed and
angled his torso down to the brunette, who inched backwards noticeably, �I
don�t wanna hurt you, okay?�
This seemed to at least
make sense to the dark haired boy, because his expression softened slightly and
he moved forward about as far as he had moved back only seconds earlier. His
tone, however, was equally determined and irritated when he spoke again.
�It already hurts,� he
admitted reluctantly. �You�re just fixing it.�
�But��
�You know what, if you�re
not gonna do it, I�ll fucking do it myself!�
Seifer had to repress a
snort of sarcastic laughter; there really wasn�t anything funny about the
situation, but Squall�s comment was just plain absurd.
�If you were able to do
it yourself, you would�ve never called me, princess.�
He didn�t particularly
like that notion, but what did it matter, anyway? Squall had called him,
which obviously meant that the brunette placed some kind of trust in him and
his capabilities. Ultimately, it was probably that awareness of Squall�s
dependence alone that finally caused Seifer to give in.
This time, the blonde
decided, he would rise to the occasion instead of being flattened by it.
�... Fine,� he groaned as
he sank down on the bed beside Squall. �You win. Just don�t come whining to me
if you regret this.�
�I won�t.�
�Alright. Then listen to
me and do what I tell you to."
"Okay."
"Lay down on your
stomach and hang your head and arms off the bed, if you can.�
�Why...?�
�Do you want me to do this
or not?�
Instead of giving a vocal
reply, Squall lifted his legs onto the mattress and lowered himself into the
sheets, where he slowly slid into the directed position. His left arm was
throbbing as he tried to let it dangle off the edge of the bed, but he bit back
any sound of pain. Then, he laid there, and he was about to complain about his
awkward pose when Seifer suddenly scrambled on top of the mattress too and,
very carefully so, straddled Squall�s back. He didn�t shift any of his weight
onto the brunette, but Squall let out a gasp all the same.
�W-wait a minute, what are
you doing?� he yelped.
Seifer�s hands grazed his
bruised left upper arm and locked around it very loosely. The blonde, however,
wouldn�t budge otherwise, and just when Squall thought that Seifer was never
going to reply, he actually found the older teen breathing softly down his
neck.
�Okay, listen closely...
I�m gonna pull on your arm so hopefully the joint will slip back into the
socket. I can�t promise it�s gonna work, but that�s how the nurse at my old
school did it. I�ve done it on a few football buddies of mine and it worked
great, but... ya never know.�
�Did the nurse sit on your
back, too?� Squall hissed sardonically, his acrid sense of humor camouflaging
his actual panic.
�No, but this is easier.
Trust me.�
Squall was taken aback by
Seifer�s abrupt seriousness. He tried to glance upwards without turning his
head too far and, indeed, the blonde was looking rather grave. He was
constantly wetting his lips with the tip of his tongue and his knees kept
moving by Squall�s sides. The brunette asked himself, not for the first time,
if it had been a wise decision to appoint Seifer with this task. Then again,
his list of alternatives had left him rather wanting.
�Still, I must be
fucking crazy... he might fuck up and break my shoulder. Even if he doesn�t, I
know he�s gonna wanna know exactly what happened once this is over with.
Ngh. I feel like I�m stuck between a rock and a fucking hard place. It�s not
even like I actually lied to him when I said I fell down the stairs, but...�
He failed to complete that
train of thought, because Seifer�s mouth had moved closer to his ear and was
whispering a note of warning, �It�s gonna hurt, but I�ll try to be quick. Just
lay as still as you can, okay? You ready?�
Squall had hardly
performed a jerky nod when he felt a sharp, downward tug on his arm and the
purest, meanest jab of pain he had ever had the misfortune to experience in his
entire life. For a moment, his sight faded before his eyes and there was a sickening
feeling of bones and cartilage grinding against each other as his joint
stretched apart and ultimately reconnected. When his shoulder round slipped
back into its proper place, Squall could no longer stifle a broken gasp of
pain. His torso flattened against the mattress and his dangling hands clenched
into violent fists, which did nothing to ease his agony.
�God... ungh...�
His body was convulsed by
shudders induced by pain and shock, and there was nothing Squall could�ve done
about it. Tears stung his eyes like thorns, and for the second time in two
days, he allowed them to flow freely.
Seifer had climbed off his
back without his notice. Upon seeing that Squall had managed to move his arm, a
tremendous rush of a relief had overcome the usually so carefree blonde. Of
course, he had a good concept of the amount of pain that Squall now had to be
in and it made Seifer�s soul ache in empathy. Settling cross-legged on the bed,
he carefully rolled the brunette over and gathered him into his arms, his heart
almost shattering at the sight of tears washing in streaks down the younger
boy�s cheeks.
�It�s okay, it�s over,� he
crooned softly as he pressed Squall�s head against his chest, combating the
teen�s struggles. �Shhh, it�s alright now. It�s alright.�
After that, Seifer held
him silently as the brunette continued to tremble, his face hidden behind his
splayed out hands and his cries contained behind gnashed teeth. The blonde
could have kept on talking and cooing senselessly, but what was there to say,
anyway? That Squall�s mindless pain would soon ebb away? That it would all get
better in the end? Of course it would... but for now, the horror of it all was
enough to reduce the proud, stubborn brunette to a wreck.
At this point, his touch
would hold much more soothing infliction on the brunette than any words, yelled
or whispered, ever could.
Squall�s mind was a
strange hybrid of blankness and anguish as he lay curled up in Seifer�s arms,
crying into a broad shoulder that was his only piece of fragile comfort in this
world. Everything seemed to come collapsing down upon him now - his injury, his
natural distress after Kato�s torture, his confusion, his fright... his wish to
believe in something he had always thought impossible. If he could�ve screamed,
he would have, but perhaps his body was no longer physically capable of such
expression. So he sobbed quietly, too emotionally uprooted to even feel
ashamed.
The dark haired boy�s fit
didn�t subside until he finally took note of the pair of lips that was pressed
soft and moist against his temple. Strong hands were roaming his body to gently
caress just the right places and offer a touch that was more powerful than any
sedative.
�Seifer...�
Squall realized that the
blonde was humming some strange, almost melancholic tune that he didn�t
recognize. He could feel the older boy�s warm, sonorous breath ghosting his
tear slicked skin, occasionally replaced by tentative, feathery kisses. Without
his own volition, the brunette�s formerly racy heartbeat slowed, as did his
breathing. When he removed his hands from his face, they had ceased trembling
almost completely. Seifer was still crooning that subtle melody, in a voice
that almost sounded like a purr. A bit edgy, Squall tilted his head upwards.
�What is that...? That
song?� he asked, his reddened eyes seeking Seifer�s, which were so very green
and so very, very close. The blonde boy was smiling at him wryly, a crystalline
sheen of the emotions pulsating within his heart spangled subtly on a surface
of clear emerald.
�Lullaby,� Seifer answered
hoarsely, before nuzzling Squall�s temple once more to hide his own tears and
embarrassment. �My mom would always sing it to me when I was little. Sorry, it
was the only thing I could think of.�
�Why are you sorry?...�
Squall whispered, his voice trailing off. �I... don�t mind...�
This caused Seifer to
smile and rub the tears from his eyes with the ball of his right fist.
Suddenly, he felt downright stupid for ever thinking that he could go on with
his life as it had been, pretending that he had never met the dark haired boy.
�How�s your shoulder?� the
blonde eventually inquired, raking one hand through Squall�s slightly damp
hair.
�Fine...� the younger
replied with a sigh, carefully flexing his arm. �Hurts, but it'll be alright.
Thanks...�
�Good...�
Despite the fact that
Seifer was getting pins and needles in his legs for sitting so awkwardly (and
having Squall draped across his thighs), he couldn�t possibly have cherished
the situation more. Holding the brunette boy really was surprisingly similar in
effect to cradling a kitten - it infused him with feelings of peace and
gratification, as well as an affection that was so deep, he could almost no
longer deny that he was in love with this guy.
�Love... If this is the
real deal, I suppose it isn�t that bad...�
Without thinking on it, he
placed one crooked finger underneath Squall�s chin and tipped the brunette�s
face upward. Sapphire blue eyes bore into his own past long fringes of black
lashes, and that was all that Seifer saw before his mouth pressed to Squall�s.
He could taste the tears on the dark haired boy�s lips as a hint of saltiness
on his tongue, but it was perfect, just like that. Squall didn�t flinch and he
didn�t draw back, and although Seifer had always been an atheist, he firmly believed
that in that tender minute when the brunette gingerly reciprocated his kiss,
Heaven was no longer a dumb, spiritual fairytale.
Squall was melting into
the blonde�s arms with ease, finding that it was the most natural thing he had
ever felt in his entire life. He arched into the touch, longingly, savoring a
kind of intimacy he had always denied himself. His fear submitted to passion
and his defenses collapsed, at least for a little while. Perhaps the damage
that Kato had done was not yet irreparable - perhaps the two boys truly had a
chance.
At this moment, neither of
them would�ve ever believed otherwise.
- 15
- 16
- 17
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Whispered Screams