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Snow Drift	By : Resting-Madness Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Irvine/Squall Views: 970 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving final fantasy 8, nor do I make money from this fanfiction. The only thing that's mine is the take on a plot that's been done by just about everyone.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
One would have thought that Squall Leonhart had said he's secretly been an Imp under a spell his whole life, and has finally decided to return to some enchanted forest. That made far more sense than Squall saying that he was leaving Garden to raise an orphaned child as his own. It just... What?!
But, that is what he'd said, and he meant it. He dropped the bomb and left his friends standing amongst the merrymaking hugely muddled by the exchange. It's not April. It's the truth. As the festivities broke up, the five friends returned to their dorms unsure of what to say or how to feel. They tried contacting Squall to have him clearly explain himself. They had gotten replies, but it was the same as he'd stated. Any further attempts for more were met with blocked silence.
It was very troubling. However, this was Squall acting on impulse. Tomorrow he could be better. Sane. As Seifer would word it. When they rose for classes the next day, they were hit with reality. Squall was gone.
Things around Balamb Garden were as usual with the other cadets. But, for Selphie, Zell, Seifer, Quistis, and Rinoa, they felt they'd lost a rhythm to their pulse.
Quistis Trepe finished her work then left her small office on the third floor, entering the main office of the headmistress. She first walked to the filing cabinet distributing the papers she'd just finished sorting and signing, then she walked over to the large wooden desk taking a seat across from Headmistress Kramer. She took papers from the pile but rather than going back to her office, she remained at the desk, wondering just how to approach the subject of Squall's leaving Garden. But she can't think of a thing beyond telling the woman who practically raised her that she was insane for letting their dear friend go without a fight.
The distressed young woman can respect her friend wanting to do something right by the baby in Irvine's name, but she just doesn't believe that he can - muchless that he sincerely wants to - leave the his life as a mercenary. Squall loves being a member of Garden, and from what she can tell by the expression on his usually pensive face he really liked being SeeD commander. So why would he decide to just leave it all to raise a child whose mother may come back for him, and who already has comfortable living conditions with Ellone Loire?
Since Irvine's death things in their lives, mainly Squall's life, are just slipping from life's grip to join him on the other side.
Ceasing her writing, Edea looked over at her assistant with a worried expression. "Quistis, is something bothering you?" She's sat comfortably with Quistis Trepe before, but today felt loaded with wanton atmosphere to discuss something.
The young woman adjust her glasses before releasing a sigh to allow her voice out without cracking on her - hopefully. "Headmistress... was it wise to let Squall go? He isn't thinking clearly - I'm sure of it. When Squall is in pain he can be very brash and indecisive, surely you know that he's making a huge mistake by doing this..."
"Honestly, I know Squall better than he thinks" She turned in her seat so that she's facing the distraught Quistis. "What he's doing is very noble; it could be good for his character. As far as leaving Garden.. he tried to get out, but I stopped him."
"Stopped him? How do you mean? He told us the other day that he's quit."
Edea nodded, but she waved her hand to that worry as well. "I asked Squall to stay on as an exam monitor. He won't be called on in the line of duty, as that is truly what his words to quit meant. He was unaware of that until I told him there were other options than quitting and finding a job elsewhere. He wants to raise Kait, but having a full-time job would be no different than staying at Garden. So I gave him the offer, and he took it."
Relieved Quistis held a hand to her chest to calm her rapidly beating heart a little. "That's wonderful news! I'll be sure to tell the others." As soon as she sees them, she'd tell them.
The headmistress laughs to herself. "You're all so caring of each other. It's wonderful to see it again."
"Sometimes in life, whether you're surrounded by new faces or not, you feel like those closest to you are all you have." Quistis confessed with a soft smile. "I'm never gonna stop feeling like a big sister to any of the others, and I hope that deep down they'll never stop seeing me that way." She smiled shyly at her own folly. "Save aside a confused crush."
"I'm sure they will."
Resuming her work duties Quistis thumbed through the folder on her lap, but a laugh suddenly escaped her mouth as a thought occurred and distracted her. "Just imagine Squall Leonhart sitting in that room monitoring cadets while they take an exam; don't they have enough to worry about without the Lion of Balamb breathing down on them."
Edea laughed as well. "I know what you mean, the thought had crossed my mind ten minutes after I'd offered the job. He'll do great at it - minimal talking, maximum intimidation."
The two women shared a hearty laugh.
The day slugged on into the night. But rather than turning in, two cadets decided to take a walk.
In the warmth of the summer night; Seifer and Selphie are down by the peer. The blond is idly knocking gravel along the path into the dark water with his boot. Selphie walked quietly beside him, hugging herself as if she were cold, regardless the 79 degree weather around her. The ex-knight was becoming impatient waiting for the girl to open her mouth about why she'd called him out. However, he wasn't going to say anything lest he release the floodgates for her tears. He had to wonder why Selphie wanted to take a walk-and-talk with him in the first place; Zell would gladly have come out with her. And yet, she wanted him - is she insane? He'll only make whatever is wrong with her worse - accident or otherwise. Just as he's ready to clear his throat to make her talk, Selphie beat him to it.
"Say something silly."
Just as he's about to roll his eyes over Selphie telling him something that he's already heard before, as he assumed it was worry about Squall, he's taken aback by her strange request. "What?"
"Say something silly. Everyone else is acting strange, you may as well change too."
"Who's everyone? Zell is the same, Trepe is - as far as I can tell. Rinoa is a little off, but and I'm hardly changed."
"Aren't you? I've seen you around, Seifer - especially after Squall said that he'd quit." She stopped walking to take a seat, letting her legs dangle off the wooden pier. "You're gonna walk around in a huff, and then want all this private time with Zell to get over it, and then I won't see you or him anymore either because staying away with each other is easier. It'll just be me and the other girls, but then they'll feel all weird because everything is changing.. and then I won't have anyone."
Seifer had nothing to say to that, she wasn't completely wrong about it. He doesn't like the fact that the only physical entertainment - weapons-wise, is leaving Garden to retire and be a daddy. It doesn't make sense and it sucks ass, but that's no reason to think he'll spiral into a great depression - that's more Trepe's bag. With a sigh through his nose, he placed hand on her head to help himself sit down beside her. And as in indirect comfort.
"You wanna hear something silly? How 'bout I say that I'll sleep with you, every other day, until you feel better about all the scary changes" He wiggled his fingers in her face as a 'scary change' "that are going on."
Chuckling, Selphie shoved Seifer on the shoulder. "Don't be weird."
"Why not? It's a mad world. You don't know what I'll do next." He grabbed her by the shoulders shaking her like there's an earthquake.
That only made her laugh more. Seifer snickered quietly, releasing his hold of her. Somewhere out in the distance there was a splash of water being slapped loudly from where a fish must have jumped out of the water then in again. The two are quiet for a moment just listening to the sounds around them not knowing what more there is to say.
"Selphie, I'm not going to change... no one is" He lightly elbowed her. "trust me. This will all blow over by next month, then we'll be the same old us minus one." He shrugged his shoulder. "Shit happens, change happens. You can't avoid it no matter how hard you try - I might grow facial hair next week, there's no need for it to affect everyone personally. Its time we let all that together forever stuff go, and live realistically."
That's not what she wanted to hear. "What if I can't?"
"You can." Looking around as though he'll be caught on the spot he quickly says to her. "You're one of the strongest people that I know; you only feel like you're cracking because everything is happening so suddenly. Give yourself the time to calm down the speed you feel you're in, then it'll stop hurting so much."
Selphie mulled that over quietly.
"All right?"
"...All right."
"Good. Now, come on," he stands. "It's late and I'm tired. I have a damned mission tomorrow and I need my ego rest for it." He offered his hand to help her up. "The only yawning from me will be false ones from how bad those idiot cadets are doing, and how bored I am."
Snickering, she took the offered hand up, brushing off her butt before bouncing along beside her tall friend, who firmly put a stop to it by placing a hand atop her head.
"First lesson in recovery, man-up and stop bouncing about like that - you're like a gnat slamming into a window."
She only laughed while swatting at his intruding hand. "Whatever."
Seifer looked down at the girl beside him and taps her lightly on the shoulder. "Hey, Messenger Girl, can I ask why you always choose me to have these little chats with?"
"Because you won't try to comfort me in any way. You'll tell me what to do, and not care that you're being upfront about it. I can respect that. I can be pretty cut-throat too, ya know." She grinned as though they're handing out trophies and she's getting one simply for shock factor.
"Yeah right." He gave her another playful shove.
"Right."
The pair aren't the only two awake in the approaching late hours.
Squall brushed his fingers gently through Kait's wispy brown bangs. Its his third night with the baby in his care and in those three days he's been living like he's been under attack with no relent. Ellone was right about what she'd said when he approached her about raising Kait, that he would never sleep again. First-timers never do, she'd forewarned. He thought that was a weird thing to say, as he'd slept just fine when he and Irvine were caring for the infant. However, without Irvine being the one constantly worried and awake, here he is watching over the sleeping one year old.
In those three days he's also been peed on, due to putting the diaper on incorrectly and the fluids had leaked out of an opening onto his hip, he's had cereal flung at him - which wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't moist with drool from Kait pulling it free from his mouth before taking aim. Why do babies like Cheerios anyway? He's an adult and he's never once cared for them. He's also been jolted out of numerous attempts to sleep by the child waking up in a crying fit for reasons he can't yet figure out. He wondered how long it would be before the child could be successfully potty trained? But he's sticking to his word and he's sticking by Kait.
He recently was trying to feed him dinner. Kait wasn't interested in the food after having had one bite. Squall tried over and over again by making plane, train, and car sounds but nothing was getting the spoon into Kait's mouth. He wondered what was the problem then helped himself to a spoonful. Ten minutes later, and mush in the trash, he apologized to the infant while giving him a bath. Who knew that avocados were so nasty mixed with chicken. He'll never unknow that taste. He could assume Kait wouldn't either.
After the bath and getting dressed the tired infant fell quickly to sleep.
"...I never told you this, but, you're very lucky to have been loved by someone who would have given you everything he had just for your being around." He cocked his head so that it rests on his forearm that's placed on the edge of the crib. "Irvine said: "just be there", that its not the hardest thing in the world. I'm gonna do that for you. I'm gonna be here, and keep Irvine's memory alive to you. ...I think it's important that you know the man who cared about you when your parents didn't or maybe they did - I don't know much about it. I don't know much about anything sometimes, but I know this ...you will be loved, the best way that I can." A tear came to his dual-colored eye. "I promise."
He wouldn't have teared up from such statements; however, the fifth month that he was officially with Irvine, those words are exactly what he'd said to him. Irvine said he didn't know from being a romantic boyfriend or even be a boyfriend to a guy at all, but he knows how to care. And he knew that he could be someone who loves Squall. He promised. Promises really are cheap, it's true. Because when they're made no one ever considered the possibility that they'll die from an unknown cause. Look at Squall now with that promise under his belt. Living in Balamb town in an apartment, retired from combative duty. ...The only action he'll be making is seeing that people don't cheat on written exams - oooh, look out, he's got a red marker!
"I made the right decision; so far you're still intact; you even smile at me when I talk to you. And anything that I can't do Ellone will do it for me - at least this year anyway." He looked at the sleeping child. "Aren't you lucky? I'm not gonna start crying to wake you up. ...What do you say, Kait, can I get some sleep tonight? Or are you gonna make noises to keep me awake with worry?"
Kait only slept away, completely unaware of anything being said or done around him.
"I'll take that as a, yes." He smiled. Sitting down beside the crib he rests his head against the bars, closing his eyes awaiting sleep to come - if it came.
August 9th. The day was bright and sunny with chirping birds and happy chatting people; the beautiful ocean sparkled invitingly to those eager to hit the beach or go for a sail. The world around Alcaud was in perfect harmony... Outside. Inside there was a restless young man doing battle with a one year old. There were octave outbursts of ear shattering screams, scratching, tears from nearly both of them, and all because Squall just wanted to go out for a walk. Was it such a terrible idea?
Squall finally just gave up and collapsed on the couch. Go out, stay in, it's whatever it is. The bully is now playing with a stuffed Mog; singing his new favorite word "Whatever" as he hops around with it. When Kait spotted Squall's collapsed state, he slowly walked over then gave him a comforting pat on the knee before falling back on his butt. He would have fallen on the back of his head, but the responsible guardian quickly leaned over and caught the back of his head in the palm of his hand. He then scooped him up into his arms.
"What do you say we try this again? Hmm? Wanna go out for a walk?" Kait squeezed Squall's cheeks before kissing his nose. "Is that a "yes"?" Kait nodded. Glad to get the go ahead, he stalled twice then kissed the child on the forehead.
That was never going to stop being a little strange. Kait isn't his kid, and he's not usually one for such random affection, but the last day of July he just did it. It shocked him. Kait busted out laughing because of his confused expression, and from then it just happened now and then, but awkwardly when he's aware of his actions. He'd ask the child if he minded it, but Kait doesn't talk thoughtfully yet.
"Knock, knock!" Came a familiar voice as the front door opened along with the verbal announcement. "It's your friendly-face, neighborhood buddy!"
"I thought you were the crazy lady coming for the recycling."
"Watch whom you're calling lady, bub, I'm only 18."
"You love the brag."
"I do. I'm a consenting adult." Selphie walked over to Kait picking him up from his perch on Squall's leg. "And how are you?" Kait smiled and said "Happy".
"Aahh, your voice is so cute!" She hugged him cheek to cheek.
"Remember soft spots." Squall reminded the human vice grip. "I have to get dressed."
"I'll help you, by helping him." She spots the neglected clothes on the couch. "I made it all the way to a year old just to be dressed like a sailor." She changed Kait from his pajamas into the red-striped shirt and blue stretchy pants. Selphie couldn't help but laugh. It really did look like a sailor outfit.
"Whatever." Kait giggled at her laughter.
Rinoa, who'd been waiting outside, walked in. "I hear he's expanding his vocabulary. Soon he'll have the whole repetuar down." She knelt then rose when Selphie stood up with the child. "Can you say: "talk to a wall"?" She giggled.
"Doctor tall." Kait repeated what he'd heard.
Squall, who's in the bedroom currently tugging on his shirt, rolled his eyes. Why do people find it so fun to make fun of him? What has he done to warrant it? People zero in on Seifer as a bully. He's not half as irritating as everyone else combined.
Now that he has the window of free movement, he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth then his hair. He didn't have to shower, he did that when Kait fell back asleep after breakfast. He and the child had a great sing-along over a bowl of banana oatmeal. The runny bathroom trip afterwards tired him out. He woke up happy, then a fight broke out when he'd tried to dress him.
"Look at his teeth! He's got two more!"
"Three." Squall commented as he entered the living room. He grabbed the stroller from the jacket closet and popped it open. He took Kait from Rinoa, and after dislodging his mega-strength from trying to remain in his arms, he fastened him into the seat.
"Daddy, Jojo!" He reached around behind his stroller as if the toy clown would come flying to him.
"I know, I'll get her."
Selphie and Rinoa exchanged glances with big smiles they could hardly hide from both address and response. When Squall heard "Dada" he corrected him quickly that he was Squall, or he could call him guardian. But the word was too big.
It was Seifer who'd said in jest "Aww, are you "daddy" shy?". To which Kait laughed and called Squall the easy word to say. Daddy.
When Squall returned they left the apartment and enjoyed a stroll around Balamb town.
Selphie pointed. "Look, the Shumis are in town again." She told them how they were passing through one evening when she'd got off from a mission last month. They didn't leave anything for the shops though, but it seemed they were today. "Should we go and look around?"
"For soueveniers? Selphie, we live here. Those are for tourists."
"Doesn't stop them from being collectable." She returned her attention ahead. "Did you eat?"
"Whatever Kait left behind." Replied the guardian.
"You'll be the envy of dieters at Garden if you lose anymore weight." Rinoa commented.
"I'll eat lunch."
"See that you do." She insisted. "We don't wanna have to worry about you,"
"You don't. I'm not a kid."
"You're right, you're not. You're a older kid taking care of a younger kid."
Squall rolled his eyes. "I'm not. And anyway, it's only a little harder than I thought."
"What's tough? We can help you." Selphie piped up.
"I'm just a little tired. But, I do need a sitter for when mid-terms come up. Sis said she'd do it. But, one of you could once you're done." He still has to take it too. He may no longer be a soldier, but he's still a student as well as monitor. Maybe he is in over his head due to quick decisions.
"I told you many times, I'm at your service."
'Have you got seventeen years to spare?' His exhaustion joked.
Truth is.. It's hard. But, when those little moments happen: walking, laughing, eating, calling him dad.. It's worth it. It makes him feel good. Helpful. Like he's doing things right, rather than hurting the situation. What more could he want now? Besides Irvine...
Kait waved to a kind Shumi, who smiled at him and waved back. The day really was perfect for walking.
X x X
Commentary: Thanks for reading!
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Snow Drift