Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

A Break in Character	By : Resting-Madness Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Irvine/Squall Views: 919 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or setting of the Final Fantasy VIII universe and make no money from this work of fan fiction. It's all for fun.

Chapter List
- 15
- 16
- 17
"And if I ever find you doing anything queer with Squall again, it's gonna be his turn... And it will make this... look like a freepass fun day at a theme park."
Irvine stared straight ahead of him at a wall. Blank expression compared to the vast amount of emotions he's got whirling on the inside. It was like feeling the tornado, but blinded as to why because you're seeing the eye.
"Is this some new form of studying?" Seifer waved his hand before Irvine's face. "Meditating? Will a ghost move your hand to make notes?"
Blinking out of his stupor, Irvine asked. "What?"
Seifer feigned shocked by dropping his jaw. "He speaks.. "Once more, bright angel."" He quoted, sorta, from an old story.
"I was just thinking." Seeing the inquiring look on his friend's face, he added. "What?"
"You were thinking about the beating?"
"No. Cornbread. I can never decide whether sweet or savory is best - of course, the beating!" He snapped. Because, yes, it has begun to make him angry. Calming himself, he said. "I'm sorry, Seif', I've just been making myself crazy trying to get a clear picture or voice in my head, but nothing's coming in."
Seifer gave Irvine's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "We'll track them down, and make them pay. Don't worry about it."
Irvine released an audible sigh through his nostrils. Seifer was right, he shouldn't worry about it. That could be what's blocking his memory.
"How about a distraction? Mm?"
Irvine scoffed. "What could possibly distract me? It's practically tattooed on my every thought."
"You can tell me about you and Leonhart." He turned himself so that he can lean his buttocks against the shared study desk in the room. Arms crossed, a smug look planted on his face to combat with Irvine's unspoken, feigned, denial. "You know you're dying to talk."
'Maybe a little.. before. But now... wait! Huh?!' Continuing with his charade, the secret relationship keeper asked. "By that you mean?"
Seifer scoffed out a laugh. "Nice try, Kinneas. Squall already spilled it." Seeing Irvine's confused expression, he added. "I made him. I was on to you two,"
"But how? We were so careful.. I mean, we did plan to tell you all, but.."
"Not right away, I know." Seifer said to Irvine what he'd told Squall.
Irvine chuckled. "I hope we do better on convert missions. We need to work on our stealth tactics."
"Well?"
The love-struck sniper hesitated. But, he couldn't hold in his feelings. The dam had beyond cracked and was leaking water, but upon Seifer's invite the water destroyed the wall. And from A to Z he spilled his feelings, quietly - hopefully privately - about his feelings for Squall. But he kept his voice low, should the wrong ears be lurking and listening. He told his friend about how he likes the way Squall chews, the way he chooses to sit at his left side, so that when he moves his arm while eating he can brush against him from time to time. Seifer held his teasing laughter when hearing that Squall would look good doing something as awkward as swatting gnats and mosquitos. How he loves his gait, he's got a deadly walk. He could have gone on all night. But, he knew when to stop.
Irvine's gaze was far away as he said calmly in the bliss of feelings in the memories. "And you know what's the best part? I think he feels the same way about me."
Seifer gave a brief applaud. "You've come a long way, from a guy who was hardly remembered."
"You're thinking about everyone else, to Squall, I was a not-at-all remembered." He looked at his workbook and smiled privately. It's nice when things change.
"It's good you've got something going on to blue-ball that negative shit that happened."
"Yeah..." his mood suddenly dampened. His 'something going on' was at risk of needing it's own source of happiness, if he continues to see him. He has to break it off with Squall. To protect him.
"What's with the sour face?"
"I just like him a lot. And I know it sounds stupid, but, I wanna protect him from the in the world." He cast a side long look at his friend. "Do you know what I mean?"
"I was a sorceress' knight, remember? We, with a retainer's heart, know only a fear that our Liege will be harmed and that we must defend them at all cost." Holding onto Irvine's shoulders, he whispered in his ear. "Just don't be blinded to the fact that, most of the time, they can perfectly defend themself."
P.A.: Cadet Kinneas Irvine to the headmistress office. Cadet Kinneas Irvine to the headmistress. Thank you.
"So, she finally noticed that broken vase." Teased Seifer. "Tell mother good night, once she's through punishing you - if you're not crying too much to get it out."
Irvine snickered. "It'll be fine." He got up from the desk and headed for the door. "I intend to blame it all on you," He looked over his shoulder when Seifer laughed. "And, Seifer... Don't call me Kinneas."
The ex-knight was about to retort that request, but he instead gave an understood nod. It's never bothered Irvine before, that it does now is likely from the beating. It proved it wasn't random, that the attack was purposeful. It strengthened his resolve to retaliate as soon as possible.
Irvine doesn't know why people are so afraid of the ex-knight. He thought this as he made his way to the headmistress office. And then he realized, Seifer is an ex-knight. He had done things on the sidelines during the war. He aided in so much destruction. Chaos. Panic. It was hard for others to see he has many sides, when not controlled by strong dutiful emotions causing him to behave otherwise.
People do all sorts of things under the control of emotions. Emotions are very dangerous.
...
Irvine poked his head in to see headmistress Edea seated at the large polished wood desk. She looked up from her paperwork, smiled, and gestured for him to have a seat in the available chair across from her.
Irvine approached the desk and took a seat. "Seifer did it."
"What has he done?" She asked, confused as she wasn't in on the joke.
"Nothing. I was just messing around." He leaned back, legs crossed, his demeanor relaxed on the outside, while inside he was curious and hopeful this was good news, and the offenders were found. "So like, what's going on?"
"..Irvine, Cid and I were wondering something..." Edea went right in. "Are you seeing anyone? That you're having sexual relations with?"
The color drained from his face. "I'm sorry?"
"It's a very personal question, I'm sorry for the intrusion. But, the doctor told us they had checked for rape, and found out that you did have sex. However, it was consensual."
He nervously swallowed a lump in his throat. "I just don't understand how that matters, Ma'am."
Edea could empathize with his resistance to tell. It is personal, especially if it's intended to be a secret relationship. "I'm not asking to pry. You don't have to give a name. We'd just like to be sure that what happened wasn't another type of hate crime."
Those condemning words from one of the attacker's ran through Irvine's thoughts again. 'No names.' He assured himself. "I do have someone. I can't tell you who, Matron. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. I have to be sure, that the two of you didn't have a falling out..." Her brows rose as a question mark to her inquiry. "You didn't have relations, fight, and then the violence happened?"
Irvine could have laughed at the scenario. It was an odd assumption, at least in his mind. He's sure such things do happen, likely have. "I'm positive, it wasn't him."
Edea nodded. She was happy for that answer. "Is this a secret or does everyone know?"
"We were going to make ourselves public, eventually... But for now.. It's just an us thing."
Edea rose from her chair, her elegant stride rounded the desk stopping beside one of her adopted sons, and she hugged him. "I'm sorry this had to happen to you."
'So am I.' He hugged her in return.
"I'll inform Cid, so he doesn't give you away."
"Thank you."
She removed herself from the hug when Irvine let go. "You can return to the dorms."
"Matron? I mean," he corrected himself. "Headmistress? You didn't tell the other cadets that it was me? That I was the victim?"
"No." She shook her head. A smile appeared on her lips. "Irvine, you will always be my son. And we're off hours, so Matron is fine." He smiled and nodded a 'thank you'. "We are keeping you a secret, because if anyone lets out the name of the victim we'll trace it back to the source, and know that that person is at least one of the guilty party."
Irvine snorted. Impressed. "That's pretty clever. You're sneaky for a headmistress."
"I was a mother before I was a headmistress. I know how to deal with young minds." Giving him one last hug, she sent him on his way.
Irvine waved away her apology for being intrusive. She had a reason. And if she only knew that she was right. But, he had to protect Squall. If people knew it was a gay bashing, it wouldn't be long before they figured it out who turned the sniper's head in a new direction of romantic interest. Seifer put it together, why not others. And those responsible will assume he'd let the cat out of the bag because he has no intention of breaking up with Squall.
'I hate this!' He cursed using every word he knew in every way there was to use it. 'It'd be a different story if I knew who was responsible. I'd let them know just how little they've affected me by their outburst.' He squeezed his fist in his hand, imagining the amount of force he'd use to enforce his hatred towards the homophobic pricks. But alas... With no face or voice recognition.. Squall was a target of a swarm of ghosts. He can't always be around him for back up. 'And what's 'worse' in their definition? Blizzard? Firaga? One lightning bolt and Squall will be a world of hurt if he has on his bullet holsters.' Irvine wondered if the creeps lacked that much distaste towards them to do something so dangerous? Not many people get close enough to Squall to notice his hip belts have bullets lining it. From the distance they look like decorative studs. Would they really kill over something as benign as loving someone?
'If only there was some way to know for sure...' Hispace staggered to a stop. 'That's it!' He hurried to his room. He has a very important call to make.
...
"This sucks in a major way," said the president of Esthar.
Irvine could just see the animated ex-soldier holding the back of his head, as if his blood pressure had risen to that area.
"Elle's not here right now. She went off with the white SeeDs for peace talks."
"Do you know when she'll return?"
"No. But, it shouldn't be too long a trip. She's only doing one.. It's in Dollet." He was silent a moment. "Do you want me to get her to call you?"
"No. I don't wanna fill her head with my issues, she has important duties. I can wait."
"...Okay. And Irvine.. could you tell Squall I said, "hi"?"
"Sure."
"Thanks."
"You're welcome. Good bye."
"Bye."
He hung up. Releasing a sigh, he got up from the bench in the hall and returned to his dorm. Seifer, and their roommate, were already asleep. He hoped he could sleep through the night. It'd be the first full one since the attack.
The next morning.
Irvine and Seifer attended their classes, had breakfast and lunch. The day went smoothly, as any day would. It had been like that since the attack. And how could it not, Irvine thought bitterly, he's being a good little victim and not agitating his attackers hang-up. But it's killing him. He has only spoken to Squall over the phone for a minute or two. And he's rejected, politely, all intentions of having lunch together over the phone. Squall understood. He figured if Seifer put it together it wouldn't be long before the rest would as well. Their was no loosely hidden flirtatious banter. They spoke of mundane things. Classes. Missions. They have none together. They reported any progress of identifying the perpetrators. All empty on both fronts.
"Irvine, have I done something wrong?" Squall asked out of the blue one Sunday afternoon.
"No. Not at all."
"I'm only asking because it seems like you're gently trying to give me the brush off."
"No. I just.. I don't know."
"Now I am nervous, what do you mean by "I don't know"?"
Irvine, though it went unseen over the phone, shrugged. "I'm just taking things a little more slowly."
"Oh..." He released a sigh. "I can do that... But, I miss you."
"I miss you, too." And he was sure he was alone when stating that.
"Let's meet up then. The restrictions were lifted. We can go out on weekends."
Suddenly speaking in a harried way, he rushed out. "We might could. Look, I have to go someone's waving for me. I'll call you."
"Okay. Later."
"Bye." He hung up. He expelled his pent up bitterness, sorrow, and love. The longer he goes without Squall the more he wants to see him. To hold him. Be with him. He's going mad! 'Since when is it so damned wrong to love someone?! Why do I have to be the one suffering in the stupidity Of others? Shouldn't they be punished for their ignorant state of mind?'
Exiting his hiding place in the training room locker room. Few to no cadets go back there, they don't often change the bulbs and the dark space bothers people in locker rooms. He tugged open the door that accessed the main area, and as he strode through the room he was grabbed onto by Weston Ardley.
"Irvine, it's been awhile. Are you hiding from me or something?"
"Why would I be specifically ignoring you?" Asked the startled sniper. "Are you such a nightmare?"
"When I wanna be." He grinned and playfully nuzzled his forehead against the taller male's shoulder. "What d'ya say we fight a few dozen? I'm bored."
'I could use the release.' Thought Irvine. "Alright. Let me grab a gun."
"I'll go stir up some trouble."
Irvine listened to clang, bang, hoots and hollers as he grabbed a couple handguns and a shotgun from the weapons hold. After stuffing his pockets with bullets, he joined his fellow cadet in battle. He received a few nasty swipes from a gang of Death Claw bears. And they both had to take cover when one decided to end the fight by selfdestructing. He had to save Weston from a mighty bear hug, and by the time they were through with fighting and cured themselves, the pair retired to dinner.
"Weston, have you heard anything about the student that got beat up?" He figured he may as well ask.
"No. You?"
He shook his head. "I'm curious, though. Who could it have been?"
Weston looked at Irvine's thoughtful profile, and leaned over whispering. "Can I confide something to you? I think they made it up."
"Who?"
"The bigwigs. Did you see anyone who was beat up? Let alone hospitalized."
"Me? No." He lied. Sort of.
"Exactly! I think they wanna start trouble, clear out more students who are opposed to the Gardens having an alliance again."
It made sense, if one was going to believe such a theory of a false victim. "Maybe he or she doesn't want it to happen again, so they're laying low." Irvine suggested.
"That doesn't make any sense. If I was the victim, I'd shout it from the rooftops. Let those responsible know they didn't beat me." He flicked his thumb under his nose, brimming with confidence.
Irvine shook his head. "Not everyone is brave in those situations. I wonder why anyone had done it, too?"
"Maybe that guy ticked them off?"
"By being from a different Garden? Weren't we all at Balamb until Galbadia was reestablished and Trabia rebuilt? I'd like to think we'd created some form of mutual respect and trust."
Weston shrugged. "Whatever the reason, keeping quiet about it... They must have learned their lesson."
He waved goodbye to Irvine then turned off into the library.
Irvine watched the headstrong cadet until he was out of view. What an interesting conversation.
"Wanna go with me to the Garden store?" The showered and groomed sniper asked Seifer from across the cafeteria table.
He came to dinner fifteen minutes later, after departing with Weston Ardley. He had to wash off the sweat from battle.
Seifer shook his head. He doesn't need anything, and going is a waste of time. "Wanna play Triad before lights out?"
"It's why I'm going to the store. I wanna buy some new ones."
"The store doesn't budget for the good packs, they buy starters." He wiped his mouth with a napkin, set it down on the empty tray then stood. "Want me to dump that?" He reached for and grabbed his friend's dinner tray.
"Thanks. I'll be ten minutes."
Irvine joined Seifer in the common area of the dorms, and they played Triple Triad until the alarm for bed sounded. As he laid there, eyes closed, he thought again about the beating. And wondered if one of the delighted, brutish voices belonged to his friend Weston? Because something about his last words just seemed... Accessing. Like he was checking up on something rather than having an innocent conversation. But... It couldn't be. At least, he hoped it wasn't him.
He hates living in the cautious state of mind. He prefers to be easygoing. Now.. everyone is a suspect...
- 15
- 16
- 17
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

A Break in Character