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Snow Drift	By : Resting-Madness Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Irvine/Squall Views: 970 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving final fantasy 8, nor do I make money from this fanfiction. The only thing that's mine is the take on a plot that's been done by just about everyone.

Chapter List
- 17
- 18
- 19
August 23.
A Gunblade is very heavy. Ask anyone in Balamb Garden who uses it. It takes a lot of arm training. A lot of stamina endurance, and you even need to utilize the leg strength training, because what's the point of being able to hold the weapon if you become immobile? And when the weapons touch... The sound was like a thunderstorm. It echoed in the coves and casims of the Acauld mountain where Squall and Seifer are currently training. Although, if anyone was watching them they would word it that the two are trying to kill each other.
Their blades bashed and clashed, and boomed as they shot off blasts of bullets with contact.
Squall wanted the inconsiderate ex-knight to take it back. How.. Why would he say something like that to him? They had been training like usual, but then Seifer went and invited him to a club. Not the issue. It was the fact that he'd invited him because he thought he should meet someone else..
When Seifer had showed up, Squall was at home. Mourning. Turning away any invites to celebrate his 19th birthday. He didn't want to celebrate his birthday. He had no real reason. Not without Irvine. As far as relationships go, he's only had one birthday with him. His 18th. And man, did they ever celebrate. Squall was certainly embarrassed as he's never been so thoroughly indulged of. He even hadn't minded the before the night party with everyone in the Garden cafeteria after hours.
This birthday should have been very similar. But... So for Seifer to just brazenly tell him to meet someone new at a club, as if his missing Irvine was purely carnal and romantically frivolous rub him the wrong way. Would his feelings for Irvine be viewed as normal and more sincere if they had only stayed as friends? Oh, he's upset, give him space. He's only acting like this because Irvine isn't around. He'll get over it, let him grieve. But because they were a couple he's being over dramatic and needs to move on.
"Finally! You're into it!" Seifer howled with glee as Squall smacked him near to senseless with the flat of his blade bashing him into a crumble of rocks. The chortling rival was barely able to dodge the stab that aimed at his torso. Actually... "Are you serious?" He showed off the slice that has ruined his best jacket. He'd wanted Squall to fight sincerely, not force him into buying new a wardrobe.
"Take back what you meant." Squall growled.
"What did I mean?"
"That I'm being pathetic, and that my feelings for Irvine are petty worship just because he's dead." He felt his throat tighten with emotional drain; his stabs and swings stilled. He dodged a swipe from Seifer, landing a nicely weighted punch to his jaw before he got him to stop attacking him altogether. "Why am I the one looked at like a joke just because he's not just a lost friend."
Seifer truly doesn't have an answer. Was it that friendship harps less about death than love does? That's not entirely true. There are things he liked doing just with Irvine, and yeah, he could just as easily do those things with others but he'd prefer Irvine. Maybe that's why he's giving Squall grief. He knows why love is missed but not lost friends. Friendships usually dissipate at some point, but here's foreign territory. Perhaps he's confused at the mortality of his own relationship if something should happen to Zell.
He doesn't want to become someone else. He wants Squall back as proof that there can be a comeback.
"Look. As Selphie put it, I don't want things to change... You pretty much fucking abandoned us all over a lost relationship. If he was a friend, you'd be where we are, maybe even faster because you barely recalled ever knowing him." He muttered. "He and I were better friends than you, but here you are treating your situation like the world ended based on a sudden halt." He tossed his hand outward. "You're out of Garden raising some kid.. Do you even realize you've shut us out just to do it on your own, when we're willing to help you more."
Squall balked silently. He had nothing, yet everything, to say in rebuttal. But he stayed silent. Was he being ridiculous? Selfish?
"You look like exhausted shit, Leonhart. Get over the God-like end, and get back to yourself before we all end up lost." He shoved him then walked off to return to the school.
Squall stared after his departure, deep in thought as he walked back to town.
A part of him wants to raise Kait with the other's help, but he feels like it'll railroad over his belief. A hope against hope that Irvine truly is alive and fine somewhere. If the others are along with him, it'll always be a storm of reality checks and quiet judging. Irvine is gone, he accepts that when he visits the grave with Kait. Yet, he could be... He's still just an empty casket. With a body... This would feel more real. He'd hurt less seeing the truth, and knowing that it really is too late.
He had wanted to suit up, go into battle against monsters that were ranked on the list as the worst who'd done it. Using a Guardian Force would guarantee his recovery. Squall before being with Irvine. The memory stealing forces would wipe him clean away. He'd remember the others, he'd see them every day. He'd care for them all as always. But, Irvine would be gone.
He was ready to do that... Until he'd spoken to Laguna Loire. His words changed his life. Moved him from that stand-still this oddity of death has created for him, simply by telling him about his birth-mother. He'd always assumed it was Raine, he has no memory beyond what was told to him by Sis. That was all. Then she was raided, he was given to Centra orphanage. It was all just... different. Things that are different aren't always bad. These things he took away from that moment of storytelling.
And time passed. And passed, and passed...
Things have changed. Certain pains don't hurt as much, situations are easier to handle. Irvine's pre-recorded dates stopped after the holiday he should have been a part of. Things were grim other times. Once got as bad as could be. But then it all just moved away to easy. Normal day-to-day. And then life just improved even with the sadness not far away.
September 2013
Squall is on the couch in his apartment being used as a human pillow by his, officiated by law, son Kait. The child had been his steady trek forward where his father had given him the courage and strength to move. And, despite his previous desire to raise the orphaned child at arm's length, he soon realized he couldn't fight the natural sound of being addressed as Kait's dad. Not after so much time has piled up between them. All the do's and don't of raising children came into light. He had no idea how much parents suffered.
Mystery aches that give you anxiety, despite a doctor saying: It's nothing.
Child humor at it's finest and weirdest. Why is being shocked by winter static electricity funny when it's others but tears for them? And pops? Kids are slappers, screamers, random squints that you're positive are directed at you for a reason.
They low-key hate all eating even when they like the food. And somehow they manage to get nearly everything they eat onto you. So Squall has learned to take notes of any such changes or nuances. Wear dark colors that don't show stains. Washable everything when you play with art. Non-toxic. And unbreakable - if possible.
He also learned that a child can't be forced into growing up. He's studied the books, he's put the chair wherever Kait was going to occupy the longest. But that first year was a lot of his cleaning up numerous accidents. He had one victory, but that's only because Kait had fallen asleep on the potty while waiting to feel the need to use it.
Children, once they've learned to walk, quickly have no use for that speed and they run at a burst of sprints only. Garden should hire parent's infants and toddlers to put cadets through endurance training, because in all his years he's never been through such a workout. At least the house has been padded and secured for severe hazards. Smaller ones are unavoidable.
But for every bit of exhaustion, there is joy. And to his surprise the word that once made him flinch is one of them. The laughs, the hugs, the kisses. The cheek squeezing. It's all food for the soul.
Right now they're watching Kait's favorite television show on the couch in the living room. A colorful clown starts to sing a song catching the boy's full attention as he watched and listened to the clown's words. She or He, Squall could never figure it out in all the time they've been watching the program, is singing about a silly way to play golf. The show was so completely ridiculous, but if the child gets a kick out of it then who is he to stop him. He even bought the clown for his son's, decided, birthday. Kait carries it nearly everywhere with him.
When the song ended, Kait tilted his head back to look at his dad and pointedly he asked. "What's your name noggin?"
Squall shook his head and corrected. "Again." He knows noggin is again as he's heard it many times. Answering he says. "It's Squall."
"Squall. Hi, I'm Kait."
Smiling, Squall says. "I know."
"I know." Repeats the boy adding a new phrase to his puddle of the english language.
Snickering, Squall smoothes back Kait's little comb-over of bangs placing a kiss to his exposed forehead. "Do you have to go to the bathroom?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yup."
"All right, but you let me know when you do."
"Ok, daddy."
He watched for a moment more, then asked. "Kait, is Jojo a boy or girl?" His answer was a chuckle. 'Oh, that helps.' Squall concluded that his son didn't know, or he raised a tight-lipped little jokester.
He's just about to get up to fix lunch when he hears the doorbell. Lifting the 28 pounds from his chest, he set him down on the couch. "It's open!" He called out to the person on the other side of the door. It would be awkward if it was a delivery person, but he isn't expecting anything. The front door opened revealing the ex-knight, who looked as though he was ready to go jogging. Knowing Zell, Seifer probably was going to do just that but stopped by the apartment first.
Gasping, Kait happily called out. "Seifer!" Leaping from the couch the four year old circles the tall guest making punches at the long legs standing before him; little sound effects came from him.
"Hey, brat," says Seifer adding with a smile. "And Kait." Pointing down at the child he asked. "What the hell is he doing?"
Squall glanced during his departure, but could only shrug before proceeding to the kitchen.
"I'm Cowboy Irvine; and I'm slaying you, monster!" He declared. A squeal shot out of him as the large blond 'monster' scooped up him from the floor. Kait continued his battle from the new height; Seifer only cocked a brow and escorted his opponent into the kitchen to hand him over to his guardian.
"Tilmitt says that if you bring Kait along, she'd gladly go to lunch with you." Seifer reports after the giggling child is transferred safely.
Selphie has a real flair for making things sound like other people's ideas. Squall had not asked her to lunch with him. He'd actually planned on staying at home to eat. But whatever will be.
"Tell her fine. I just have to get a few things together."
He opened the fridge to grab a small yellow box filled with yogurt bites and healthy ravioli with vegetables inside rather than meat. Opening the package he dumped the yogurt into a sandwich bag then popped the rest of the meal into the microwave.
"Since when do you make calls for "Tilmitt"?" Squall questions turning his attention back to the knight, who is wandering his kitchen in search of something.
"Since Kinneas' death; she's treating me like her fucking Dr. Headshrinker whenever she needs a pick-me-up." Locating a pudding, he tears off the seal. "Speaking of Kinneas, wanna lay off the tall tales of how great your boy-toy was. Don't wanna warp the munchkin's mind with lies."
"I'm not warping his mind with anything, everything I say about Irvine is the truth. I want Kait to know him."
"As you see him?"
"Yes, as I see him. Nothing wrong with that."
"Mhm. But don't forget to include that he was a crybaby, and somewhat of a coward. An uncontrollable flirt, and-.."
"No, he wasn't!" Shouted Kait.
Moving closer, Squall allowed the boy to sock Seifer on the nose but the ex-knight only grabbed Kait by the hand pretending to bite it off. Kait shrieked withdrawing his hand. Sticking out his tongue he rests his head on Squall's shoulder, vision away from the man. Kait loved Seifer, honestly, but he knows that out of all the big people he knows, Seifer is the mean one - sometimes.
"Having only known him for a short time, he takes after him that's for sure." Comments the 'mean one', giving the kid a no-hard-feelings rub on the back.
Squall sniped. "Zip it, ass."
Hearing the new word the boy asks. "What's an ats?"
"It's what you call someone who's bothering you."
"Oh. Ats." Says the boy.
"It's ASS, with two 'SS'. If you're gonna insult me, pronounce it correctly."
"Nevermind that, Kait; those are grown-up words so don't use them."
"I won't."
"Good." Turning when the microwave beeped, he removed the lunch from within it.
Snickering, Seifer grabbed his rival by the hair. "When are you gonna get this cut? Trying to look like your old-flame or something?"
"I've been meaning to, but I'm kind of busy with Kait."
Seifer shrugged. "Ever hear of a babysitter?"
Squall shrugged. Honestly, in all the four years he's had the boy his own existence has been at the bottom of the priority list, because of that, his personal maintenance and grooming have been put aside to the point of his growing out a ponytail worth of hair. But he will get it cut - eventually.
"I can always cut it for you?"
"I'm not letting you near me with a pair of scissors." He swats away the intruding hand. "Where does Selphie want to meet?"
"Uhhh... shit..." He thinks a second more than says. "Briors. Now should be good for her."
"Alright. If you're staying, don't steal anything." He sets Kait down so that he can pack the meal away in a heat-sealing lunchbag.
"No promises." Seifer leans against the counter.
"I have to pack some stuff, watch Kait for me."
"You got it, mother." Watching Squall's departure, Seifer then looks down at the child, who's trying tp peek inside of the lunch box too far up for him to even see the top of the bag; his little heel off the floor twisting back and forth.
Kait looks back at the ex-knight with curiosity then smiles before returning to what he's doing. "I can say the alphabet all the way up to G, wanna hear it?"
"Be my guest."
"A. B. She. D. E. F. G."
"It's C, like SEE." He points to his eye. "Not SHE, like a girl."
"Okay. Wanna hear it again?"
Rolling his eyes he waved a hand for the kid to get on with it. He was mildly pleased when the boy didn't mess up again.
Squall returned a moment later with a small bag filled with things that were no doubt for the kid. He slid his feet into his boots which were under the side table drawer. "Kait, get your sneakers on."
"Where are we going?" He bounced into the living room.
"To have lunch with Selphie."
"Oh boy!" Sliding his little sneakers from beneath the same place that his father keeps his, the boy tucks his foot into the first one only to have to remove it.
"Wrong foot." Squall mentioned.
"Okay." Switching the sneaker he then slides on the other. "Daddy, Jojo is a girl." He replied on delay to a question from earlier.
"Oh." Squall looked to his rival. "Seifer is it cold out?"
"How the hell would I know your idea of cold? It's fine to me."
Squall muttered something under his breath then got up to grab his son's jacket and his own.
Selphie met up with the two-man family at a stir-fry restaurant. Kait really likes the glass noodles, but Squall preferred his son eat healthier options at his young age. So he had his prepared meal, while she and Squall ate at the Centra eatery.
They talked about this and that, Irvine included. It was a rule. Don't let him become just a random memory, but keep him a part of conversation, even just by what if's or he would have. It was nice. And it kept the sincere ease of the positives in moving on.
It's March 2014.
The weather has been up and down lately with temperatures, Squall knows has to be extra careful with Kait's health. Dr. Kadowaki has been doing a great job when it comes to the four-year-old's checkups and what not; but, he doesn't want another episode like from when Kait was three and completely stuffed up. He was so sure the boy wouldn't make it through any nights with the heavy breathing from all the snot that kept returning out of his nose. But his son pulled through like a soldier, and has been healthy enough since.
They're getting ready to leave for the doctor visit then lunch with Selphie.
Seifer watched the family of two with a frown. Squall told him that he would be around to train with him whenever he, Seifer, wanted to. But that's been a crock. Since that declaration, the only time he saw the pouting brunet was when he sat-in during the testing of eager little SeeDlings. He being SeeD now, he can poke fun at these kids; while he takes pride in going out on really big missions, knowing he'll actually get recognition each time.
He can tell that Rinoa feel the same way. The others took an interesting path in life as instructors for certain classes - Selphie even has followers who call themselves 'Mittens' after the girls surname. She's just wild about the idea. Zell has followers; however, they just sort of worship the ground he walks on, no nicknames about it.
"Are you coming to lunch with us?" Squall asked when he'd noticed Seifer watching him.
"No. I'm disgusting. Can I shower here?"
"I don't care." Taking Kait's hand he grabbed his keys then says. "Lock up if you leave."
"Will do, Ms. Leonhart." He grinned handsomely when his rival flips-him-off before closing the frontdoor.
Kait was hoisted into the air by his waist to be carried down the seven stairs that lead up to their apartment, then set down when they hit the street. Returning their hands together the two walk along the streets of Balamb, receiving waves to or greetings by this person and that who have become accustomed to the family of two after four years of living there.
They Balambmites had thought it was very weird at first, they didn't even know that Squall was seeing anyone, and yet, there was this child. It was always a point of gossip and speculation, so the townspeople helped him any way that they could whenever the male needed it, so they could prod. The rumors stopped all at once when Ma Dincht stepped in and explained what was going on whenever anyone in the diner started whispering about her son's friend.
Squall was then seen as a savior. Their offered help was completely sincere. Kait's missing mother was not yet found, if she would be at all, and no other family members emerged from the woodworks. Squall has legally adopted Kait into his family as Kait Leonhart.
Kait swung his arm, humming the theme to his favorite show; his Jojo doll swinging wildly in his grip as he skips along beside his father.
"How far is it?" He asked.
"Not too far; but we get to ride on the train and hang out at Fisherman's Horizon."
The boy gasped. "Cowboy Irvine liked Fisherman's, and fishing."
"Yes, he did."
"Can you tell me a story about it?"
"Maybe before bed." He answered, not sure if he could come up with one now.
"Hear that Jojo, we get to hear a story tonight."
The two arrive at the train station. Selphie was easy to spot as she always had a bright - well, loud color somewhere on her body. Today was no different, she's sporting a lime green windbreaker. The chipper firework waved to the two, before kneeling and holding her arms open, shouting as though she were singing a long note in a song.
"Kaaaaaiit!"
"Selphie!" He dashed away from his father to leap into the girl's waiting arms.
The two wriggling their fingers at each other's faces going. "cheep, cheep, cheep" for bird sounds as Kait's nickname has somehow become 'Little Bird' after the Chocobo that Irvine was so fond of.
"I got the tickets." Says Selphie while giving the child a nose rubbing kiss. "Let's hit it."
"Why are we going all the way to F.H. just to have lunch?" It seemed to be their 'thing', as Squall often found himself having lunch with Selphie.
"To escape my entourage," She giggled. "I'm kidding, I heard they've got a restaurant with fried lobster bites, and I just have to try some."
"The diner makes them, too."
"Yeah but not until the summer. And these ones are from a place that specializes in fishing - no offense, of course." Walking onto the train, she chose a window seat. She picked up the boy sitting him on her lap. "We're gonna have such a nice lunch, and maybe we can even see the guys bringing in their haul."
"What's a haul?"
"Its a big old pile of stuff!" She throws her hands into the air as if to show how big.
Taking a seat beside her, Squall chose to read a magazine to keep himself busy during the short ride.
...
A burly man waved the four men over to him. "Put the statue here!" He called to them.
A large crane swung a heavy statue through the air towards a base set up where it needs to be placed.
Kait watched the men from a safe distance, while Selphie and his father are talking to one another at the table of a small outdoor restaurant. He'd eaten his crab ravioli veggie sticks and raisins, plus some bits of fish from Squall's plate, but now his interest is elsewhere.
"Daddy can I watch the mans move the statue?"
"You say men when there is more than one man."
Kait seemed to be processing that, but figured Squall didn't understand his question so again he asks. "Can I watch the men move the statue?"
"No. I don't want you over there where it's dangerous. You can see them from here."
"But I wanna see the funny looking men up close." He looked back at the scene.
The group of men have the statue in place and are now screwing it down onto the base.
"It's not dangerous anymore, can I look now?"
Looking out towards the area Squall thinks it over. The worst does seems to be over, that was for sure. "All right, but remember the rules."
"Make sure I can see you, and... and..."
"Blow your whistle if you can't."
"Right." Reaching into his shirt he pulled out a silver whistle. "Jojo's coming with me."
"Okay." He pulled out his son's seat. "But stand in the back, and don't get in the movers' way."
"I won't!"
Kait made his way down towards the center of the town. He stopped and looked back noting that he could still see Squall and Selphie at the table, taking a few more steps he could only see the tops of their heads so he came back a few steps. Watching intently, he smiles at the men. Heavy machines were so cool! He's seen people moving things only once before, but not up this close. He can almost see the men's faces. He wondered sometimes how come some of the men wore hats and long robes. Were they cold?
"You like this sort of stuff, huh, kid?" Asked someone beside him.
Startled, he'd nearly run for his life, but upon looking up to see the horrid face of a stranger, he instead froze in a mix of fear and awe. "You look like..."
The man smiled down at him, face somewhat shaded by a wide hat. "Who do I look like?"
"You look like Cowboy Irvine."
"Really? Who's that?"
"My daddy tells me stories, and he showed me a picture. The man in the picture looks kinda just like you."
"He does?!" Taking a seat beside the boy's short height; he extended out a hand. "Your cowboy sounds like a handsome man. My name's Imari Karver, nice to meet you."
"K-Kait Leonhart."
He's hesitant to take the man's hand because he looks too much like Irvine. It's like if he saw Jojo walking around. He wouldn't know what to do! He'd probably cry. In fact, he might cry now. Before he could stop them, he felt tears falling down his cheeks.
"Daddy!" He cried out dashing away.
Imari laughed, thinking out loud. "What a weird kid."
Squall was to the child almost instantly, kneeling down to take him into his embrace. "What? Did you get hurt?" He checked the boy over. "Did something fall on you?"
Kait sniffled, feeling foolish now for crying and running away. Embarrassed, he replied. "I saw a man... Can we go home now?"
"Of course." Picking the child up, he looks out over the area for this man.
Spotting a man sitting on the ground it all makes sense to him by the way he's dressed. The long robe and hat. Kait's never seen a Shumi before, so seeing a yellow frog-like, creature can be very startling to a child. Although, he had to admit, he's never seen a Shumi that tall before - well, that's not true. The village elder was quite tall, and there was the unforgettable Norg, that thing was HUGE. Hushing the child, he planted a kiss on his cheek.
"It's all right. That man is from Shumi." He explains to his son intent on introducing a lack of fear to new people and things.
Selphie stood by with sorrow on her face having never seen Kait distressed even once - babies don't count, they're always crying for something they need. "Aaaw, Little Bird, don't be scared. Here, want a lollipop?"
"Thank you." He says smiling instantly.
"Oooh, Kait Leonhart, you are so phony!" Selphie snickers.
In the distance Imari watched the three depart. Something about them seemed so familiar. That girl's pretty cute, though. He's seen her somewhere before, but where, he doesn't recall. Was it Balamb? He wondered if she lived in the area.
The kid said he looked like someone in a picture. 'Tch. It's crazy, a lot of people in the world have twins - take the Shumi's, they're a prime example of looking alike.' He laughed to himself.
"Karver?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for coming out this way with us," says Sculptor. "Here is your pay."
"Thank you."
"Will you be returning home?"
"Yeah, I may as well - unless you wanna stick around here with me?"
"Sculptor is afraid that that would be impossible as I is needed back at the tribe."
"I understand. See you around then. Send a letter in advance, if you need my help again."
"It is certain."
Imari looked off after the couple that was once here. Turning on his heels he heads for the train that would take him back to his home in Winhill.
...
"And Cowboy Irvine leaped onto the train and with a loud "yeehaw!" He waved his hat through the air, and bid the people of the town goodbye." Says Squall while tucking child into bed. "The end."
"That was my favorite story." Kait declared.
The boy had forgotten all about his ordeal in F.H. calming down and playing with his Candy Land game with Zell until it was time for dinner. Zell told his friend about his outing with Rinoa and Seifer - jogging with his lover and yoga with her. He's pumped for a healthy dinner, he said. But when seeing that Squall was making chicken nuggets, stringed beans, and mashed potato's he passed on the dinner invite.
He told Kait another story with his favorite hero before he set him down to bed.
"Daddy, I can't sleep without my song."
"Really? You took a nap without my singing to you."
"Naps don't count because they're short. Jojo wants to hear it, too."
"Okay." Clearing his voice he sings softly but with tempo in his words. "Good night birdie, good night birdie, good night, Birdie - milk is on its way. Good night birdie, good night, Birdie, good night, Birdie - sleep the night away."
Kait laughed closing his eyes. Squall was a terrible singer, but he liked how much umph his dad put into the good night songs. "Now slow it down."
"Go to sleep, Little Birdie, go to sleep. Close your eyes, close your eyes, don't fight. Go to sleep, Little Birdie, go to sleep. Close your eyes, close your eyes, good night." Leaned over he kissed the boy on the forehead. "Good night, Kait."
"Good night." He yawned before snuggling the clown into his arms.
Looking at him for a moment, Squall then got up from the bed and walked into his room. Another sleepless night, no doubt. Taking a seat on the bed, he isn't surprised to feel a pair of arms wrap around his chest, he rests his head against his love's cheek. Cowboy Irvine. What a fine fairytale; however, in reality he was losing him. He could no longer see those beautiful dark violet blue eyes, he can't hear his voice, only able to see his form.
The form that holds him now and every night. Whispering who knows what into his ear since the love of his life has been put on mute because time is stealing him away from Squall's memory. But it took years, years to lose the exact color of Irvine's eyes, years to lose the right pitch of his love's voice. And, without a doubt, in another few years he will lose his physical self as well.
It's a scary thought, but he's trying to hold onto him. He's trying with everything that he has!
Selphie gave him video after video of their recorded times together. But what difference did it make if it wasn't his Irvine? The Irvine he knows in their private times. He can remember buddy-buddy Irvine easily, but where's the intimacy and the love?
Where's his hero?
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Snow Drift