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Lovers Trust	By : Shehanitan Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Seifer/Squall Views: 1188 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Lovers Trust
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-28
- 18
- 19
- 20
Warning: Mentioning of child abuse
Notes: Don�t behead me! Squall has a darker history that anyone of us knew! Including me�

19

[Seifer]
He was standing in the yellow field outside the orphanage. About ten - twenty feet in front of him, the old oak tree rose. Beside it, a little brown haired boy was seated with his back to Seifer.

: : What is so important for you here? It is only a memory : :

Seifer looked up at Ifrit. The GF was frowning like he was really trying to understand human thoughts.

: : I didn�t remember I hurt him so badly : : Seifer explained silently.

And it was true. He had no memory of the bullying he�d done to the others. Not much anyway. Most of his memories as a child or early teenager was feelings of frustration and anger. A sense of always being looked down upon and a crawing for attention and acknowledgment.

He�d seen this memory over and over. How Squall would come running out of the house and not stopping until by the tree, face towards the ocean.

The first time, the blond had run after the little boy, delighted to see the young Squall. He had almost no memory of Squall as a child. This Squall must have been around five or six years. When Seifer had seen him crying, he had tried to soothe him by talking to him. Of course he hadn�t gotten one single reaction. It was only a memory.

: : It is only a memory : : Ifrit repeated and looked down at him.

Red eyes confused. Seifer saw heavenwards.

: : Never mind, lets go : : he said and followed the GF.

They walked straight through a wall and stepped inside the ballroom in B Garden. Seifer wasn�t surprised this time, as he�d been the first times. It had taken quite a while for him to stop fidgeting over things like walking through walls or floors or that when he went inside his own room in B Garden and ended up in Squall�s cell in D-district.

According to Ifrit, they still weren�t deeper than in Squall�s memories. Ifrit said that they would soon reach his mind, if Ifrit only could find the way. Which had confused Seifer. Weren�t Squall�s memories his mind? To that, Ifrit hadn�t an understandable answer except: �you�ll see�.

Ifrit walked through the windows and Seifer hurried after him. They stepped out in some forest. Seifer frowned. Maybe even the forest outside B Garden? Ifrit stopped and looked around.

: : Not right : : the GF muttered.

: : We�ve been walking around like this for forever, you telling me know we�re lost? : : Seifer snorted.

Ifrit grinned that grin that showed off all of his fangs. Seifer looked away. That was just too scary to see.

: : No, come, we continue : : the GF answered and started walking.

Seifer was just about to follow him when he heard something. Seifer had told himself not to really look or study any memory, if he could avoid it. Squall would kill him slowly if he ever found out that Seifer had been sneaking around in his private memories.

But this sound really interested him. What he knew, Squall always kept to the training center. Except when going on training camps or that one single time when Seifer had dared him out to that mountain for training. So what was his lion doing in the forest outside B Garden?

Seifer followed the sounds that started to give him the creeps. It wasn�t sounds of battle. Like blade against blade or blade slicing through flesh. When he stepped out in a little glade, he stopped dead in his track.

Squall was there, so was two others too. Two older males. Maybe students or even Seeds. Squall couldn�t be more than nine, maybe ten years old. How old was he when he came to the Garden? Nine?

They were raping him.

Seifer stared, paralyzed. Squall was crying, he wasn�t screaming. Maybe he had stopped a long time before. He had marks in his face and on his chest after fists. His small hands were pushing at the man�s chest, trying vainly to fend him off.

Suddenly Seifer was grabbed around his chest and hauled off. He didn�t realize he was screaming bloody murder and fighting for all his might until Ifrit threw him to the ground, not being carefully. Seifer was on his feet in two seconds. He was going to kill those bastards. Kill them! Rip out their guts and shove it down their throats!

Ifrit caught him again and threw him away.

: : Get the fuck out of my way! : : he roared.

Ifrit only glared down at him.

: : It is a memory, you can�t do anything : : the GF calmly said.

: : Fuck you! I�m going to kill them! : :

He surged forth again, trying to slip past the fast GF. To no avail. Seifer screamed something incoherent when he was thrown over the beasts shoulder and carried off like some bag. Seifer roared even more as they left the memory and stepped out on the bridge between FH and Esthar.

The second he was put down, he hit the GF in the stomach, without result. Seifer let lose the month long frustration and anger on the GF. He was behaving like a raging child. Kicking and screaming and cursing all living things.

In the end he sat panting on the ground. Ifrit was gazing out over the ocean, waiting for him to calm down. Seifer couldn�t erase the sight from his mind. It only popped straight back as soon as he�d gotten rid of it. Squall�s white skin, blue and yellow and blood red. Squall�s teary face, trembling lips and small hands that was pushing at his attacker. Squall�s agony and fear. He couldn�t stand it.

Maybe Seifer and Squall could hunt down the bastards once out of this mess? The logic side of Seifer told him bluntly all the hinders in that. First, Squall didn�t remember the faces of his attackers. They were blurry. Like all the faces on the SeeD ball except Seifer�s, Zell�s, Selphie�s and Rinoa�s.

According to Ifrit, you couldn�t read a memory as you read a paper or picture. The only things that were clear was the things that the person remembered exceptionally.

: : It is a memory. Probably something he doesn�t even remember actively any longer : :

: : The fuck you know! You�re only a GF : : he sounded hoarse.

: : Seifer, you will se much more terrible things than that before this is over : : the GF said softly, ignoring the insult.

: : What is worse than raping a child! For Hynes sake! He wasn�t more than ten years old! : :

Seifer was crying. He felt the tears running down his cheeks. Seifer furiously whipped them away. It was only one thing to many. That�s all. Ifrit was right. It was an old memory. Still, it made him furious. How many times had he teased Squall for looking like a girl? Or that silly �puberty boy� name? Had he been raped after that time in the forest? Had Squall started training on life and death with Seifer, only to be able to protect himself?

It tasted like acid in his throat. How had he been able to be so blind and cold? Ifrit crouched down in front of him.

: : If you can�t stay strong, you can�t help Lion cub : : Ifrit murmured with that vibrating tone.

It calmed Seifer, somewhat. Ifrit was right. It was a horrible memory, but that was all it was. He couldn�t change the past. The only thing he maybe could do was to find the responsible for Squall�s condition now. That he couldn�t do until Squall was well. He had known that from the moment it was clear that it was someone that had made Squall this and not something self-inflicted.

Seifer nodded and rose to his feet. Ifrit straightened and started walking again. Seifer followed. They walked past an older Squall that was sitting on the bridge with a lifeless Rinoa by his side. Seifer continued past them and ignored the silent talking from the brunet. Whatever he said then and there wasn�t anyone�s business.

Seifer still looked back at the two teenagers at the bridge. Suddenly they were in Esthar. It was night. The neon colored city sparkled against the night sky. Ifrit had stopped by a railing and crossed his arms. He laid his ears back and growled. It didn�t worry Seifer by now. The GF used to do that when he lost his way or tried finding it. Seifer looked around and soon enough saw the brunet in this memory.

He and Zell were walking towards them. Squall staring forward like a brain-dead zombie and ignoring Zell, Zell almost running alongside him to keep up. Seifer frowned. There was something wrong here. Squall may be silent and to strangers seem stone faced, but Seifer saw the thunder.

�Please, Squall,� Zell whimpered.

The brunet ignored the martial artist. Seifer stepped out of the way as the two teens past. Not that they would collide, but it felt sickening to see them pass through him.

�Go away Zell,� Squall growled.

Seifer started going after them to see what this was about. It had never occurred to him that no one of the gang had been a friend to Squall before the war. Squall had been a true lone wolf, only known by name.

�Please, Squall, let me explain!� Zell shouted, now anger sounded in the pitiful voice.

Seifer almost chuckled. You never got anywhere with Squall by shouting at him. Seifer had good enough experience of that. Squall of course ignored the blond. Zell suddenly grabbed a leather-clad arm and yanked Squall face to face with him.

They stared at each other for a long time. Zell slowly let go.

�I�m sorry, okay. I was drunk and I�m really sorry,� Zell said low, looking almost ready to cry.

Seifer arched an eyebrow. What was this? Squall crossed his arms and looked at Zell under the brown bangs.

�I did wrong, okay? I�m sorry. I just thought��

Squall snapped and glared at Zell. The martial artist almost jumped backwards.

�You thought what?� Squall growled and you could almost see the icicles in the air.

Zell squirmed under the gaze.

�You know� a little bodily contact? It helps sometimes.�

A resounding slap made Zell stare wide eyed. Seifer blinked in astonishment. Squall was breathing heavily and he actually had a little color on his cheeks. He turned at his heels and stormed off, leaving a shocked Seifer and Zell. Seifer jumped as a claw poked him in his back.

: : We need to go, long way left : : Ifrit said coldly and glared down at him.

: : What? : : Seifer asked, sticking out his cheek.

: : You have nothing to get here : : The GF answered simply and stared him down like a parent.

Ifrit turned around and started walking. Seifer followed, feeling like a stubborn and disobeying child. What had that been about? Had Chicken-wuss tried touching Seifer�s lion? Seifer almost chuckled. It had been fun if not for Squall�s reaction.

Seifer followed the GF off of the highway straight out in the air. They stepped out in a very odd ruin. A high tower towered above them and a broken bell jingled beside them. Seifer frowned as he saw Squall, Quistis and Irvine fighting a little tonberry in front of them. Ifrit growled again and crossed his arms.

: : It is not right : : he growled and Seifer glanced at him.

: : What? : : he asked half heartedly while he studied the battle.

It went on a kind of repeat. Squall was repeating a weird move over and over. It actually took Seifer four times before he recognized it as Squalls limit break �Blasting Zone�.

: : Isn�t he beautiful? : :

Seifer turned around at the singing voice. Shiva stepped forward in all her icy beauty. Seifer had a hard time looking away. Ifrit growled and eyed her suspicious, but the Ice Queen didn�t as much as look at them, she was all eyes for her ice prince.

: : It was the first time he did that : : she smiled proudly.

They studied the battle for a while before Shiva turned around and started walking. Without a word, Ifrit urged him to follow the blue GF. They stepped out of the ruin and into total darkness. Darkness, darkness and even more darkness.

: : Where are we? : : Seifer breathed.

The GF looked over her shoulder.

: : We take the fast way home : : she answered with a secret little smile and Seifer arched an eyebrow and sighed.

Shiva only giggled a little at his grimace. Stupid to think he would get any better answer from her. Ifrit growled behind him and Seifer stopped. The GF stood a few feet away and looked to be very frustrated.

: : Ifrit? What�s wrong? : : he wondered.

He jumped as the coldness from Shiva hit him. She wasn�t more than an inch from him and he backed away.

: : He can�t go any further : : she smiled.

It wasn�t a happy smile, it wasn�t a sad smile, it was only a smile. She danced around and started to disappear into the darkness. Seifer was torn between following her and staying with Ifrit.

: : But, you would be my guide, right? : : Seifer couldn�t believe he was whining.

Ifrit smiled a rather warm smile for coming from a cat face.

: : I am, I just can�t follow you bodily. I will have to stay in your mind and may not always be able to reach you : : the GF calmly explained.

: : But� : :

: : Follow her, she knows the way : : Ifrit irritably said and waved him away as if he was an odd stench.

Seifer nodded. He still wanted to stay. He swallowed and turned his back on the GF. Without further words, he ran after the disappearing blue lady. He ignored that tingling pain in his chest or the fact that his heart was pounding.

Shiva had stopped to wait on him in the outskirts of a gray hall. Her face was serious and stern. She looked up at him.

: : We�ll be wandering through his mind now : :

: : Haven�t we done that all the time? : : Seifer asked uncertain.

: : This will be live memories. Memories he may change if he wants to play with them : :

Seifer blinked at her. She walked away.

: : Play? What do you mean play? : :

The GF was silent and at her face expression, he knew she didn�t know how to explain. It kind if resembled Squall a bit.

: : Why couldn�t Ifrit follow me? : : He asked instead.

: : The mind is a private world, not just anybody is let inside : : she answered simply.

: : But you are? : :

She smiled a secret little smile at that.

: : I too can only go that far, but yes. I�m the one he lets come furthest except� : :

Seifer waited impatiently. In the meanwhile, troops of Galbadian soldiers passed them running with Squall, Rinoa and Selphie after them. It made Seifer smile shortly.

: : Except? : : he reminded her as they went through a wall and ended up in the memorial.

: : Except him : : she said simply and Seifer frowned.

But he didn�t ask anything as he saw Squall and Rinoa.

Squall was standing before the machine, gunblade at his hip. Rinoa was sleeping in the machine. Seifer frowned. What he�d heard, the brunet had stormed in and hacked the thing to pieces to get Rinoa out of it. To Seifer�s surprise, Squall sat down at the ground as if contemplating something. Seifer grabbed Shiva�s arm.

: : This wasn�t what happened, was it? : : he asked curios.

She was expressionless for a while.

: : No : : was the simple answer.

She studied her child.

: : Then? What? : :

: : I told you, we will wander through his mind : : she answered again.

Seifer frowned and studied the scene again.

: : You mean� we�re where he fantasies? : :

He said it more to himself than the GF. Shiva started walking again.

Author�s Whining:
I�m quite happy with this. I�ve not had this much fun for a long time. It�s amazing how fun it is to write them walking around in different places. It�s so easy. You just get bored at that place and makes them move to another.

So, what do you think? Come on! Be honest!

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