Turtle's Paradise

A “Random Final Fantasy 7 Yaoi Pairing Generator” crackfic. Reno x Rufus, eventually Rude + Reno x Rufus. Keyword reason.

No Rhyme Nor Reason

Rude suppressed the urge to hit the call button again, knowing it wouldn’t make the elevator come any faster. He was early anyway; he probably had time to grab a cup of coffee on his way up. Rude considered it, then remembered exactly how bitter the shit in the cafeteria was. He didn’t need the caffeine that bad, unless Rufus stayed past midnight again. While it had been happening more often, Rufus knew better than to deprive a Turk of his full day off, and tomorrow was Rude’s.

Rude moved aside as Palmer got off of the elevator, then stepped inside. He sighed as he saw the panel. The asshole had hit all of the buttons again. Fruitlessly jabbing at “69", Rude settled in for a long ride. Stupid ShinRa elevators needed a cancel button as long as Palmer was around.

When he finally got to the 69th floor, Rude strolled quickly down the hallway. When they were first assigned to watch Rufus, before they had figured out that he wasn’t half bad, Reno had agreed to buy Rude a drink for each minute that he was early to his shift. It was 7:52 now, so unless Reno had left early again like the careless–

“Ah!”

Fuck! If Rufus had so much as stubbed his toe, especially if Reno had gone home, they would both get a good bitching out from Tseng tomorrow. Rude punched in the entry code on the door and rushed inside.

“You’re just in time for the show, partner,” Reno smirked, wiping his hand across his lips. He was kneeling in front of Rufus’s plush leather chair. Rufus was sprawled out, breathing hard, with the most delicious flush spreading from his cheeks, down his neck, to his chest. Rude quickly shut the door behind him.

“Ah, damn it, I just got him to shut up,” Rufus said, with a hoarse laugh.

“You coming?” Reno asked, making his voice as lewd as possible.

Rude sighed. One of these days Reno was going to get them all killed.

“Someone has to watch,” Rude said.

Reno raised an eyebrow, grinning.

“The door,” Rude muttered, blushing.

“All right, yo, but we’re gonna get on with it,” Reno said.

If Tseng hadn’t been so... asexual, Rude would have suspected that he had set this up as a test, to see if Rude could keep his attention focused on his job while two of the most attractive men he knew were getting ready to fuck each other a few feet away. He would have failed. It was impossible not to watch them, as Reno gracefully pulled Rufus up from the chair and unbuttoned his white suit coat. Rufus had Reno out of his sloppy uniform of unzipped jacket and half closed shirt before Reno had even reached the last button. The redhead grinned, sliding the coat off of Rufus’s arms and reaching for the bottom of his turtleneck. Rufus batted his arms away casually, stepping back to toe his shoes off. He pulled his pants down, motioning for Reno to do the same. Rude stared, his hands itching to touch, to run over Rufus’s pale smooth skin and Reno’s slightly darker, scar-riddled flesh.

“Gonna fuck me, boss?” Reno taunted, his lips curled up in a lazy smile, “or are you just gonna look at me,” he continued, shooting Rude a look.

Rufus laughed.

“I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather if you topped,” he said dryly.

“Well, and I had you pegged as the controlling type,” Reno said, bending over unabashedly to dig in his
jacket pockets.

“I am,” Rufus said.

Rude moaned quietly, adjusting himself through his pants, as he admired Reno’s firm, round ass.

“Ah, here it is,” Reno straightened, holding a small bottle.

“You carry that with you?” Rufus snorted, “Pervert.”

“Nah, just an optimist,” Reno said, stepping closer to Rufus.

Watch the door, Rude thought, not Rufus, leaning over the end of the couch. Not Reno, slicking his fingers and trailing them over Rufus’s sac, stroking his cock a few times, Rufus arching into the touch. Definitely the door, not Reno easing his finger into Rufus’s ass.

“God, you’re fucking tight.”

“It’s been a while, like I said,” Rufus muttered, eyelids fluttering closed.

“You sure about that, boss?”

“I’m not a virgin, if you’re ask– Ah! Do that again,” Rufus gasped.

“Anything you say, boss.”

“Shut up, too,” Rufus commanded.

Reno laughed, slowly pushing a second finger in with the first. Rufus squirmed, rubbing his aching
erection on the soft armrest.

Rude tipped his head back against the wall, rubbing himself through the crotch of his pants. Fucking AVALANCHE could be trying to break in right now; he didn’t care. God, it was hot in here. He loosened his tie, running his fingers over his neck.

“Reno, are you trying to kill me? Just do it,” Rufus growled.

Rude opened his eyes– when had he shut them?– to find Rufus thrusting back onto three of Reno’s fingers, his cock leaving a wet streak on the suede of the sofa.

“Don’t want to hurt you, yo,” Reno said, chuckling.

“I’m going to hurt you if you don’t fuck me now,” Rufus gritted out, craning his neck to glare murderously at the redhead.

Reno anchored himself with one hand on his cock and the other on Rufus’s hips, carefully guiding himself inside until he was pressed flush against Rufus. He paused, waiting for Rufus to adjust, regaining his composure.

“Reno, move!” Rufus groaned, trying to rock his hips forward.

“Do it,”Rude grunted, giving in and unzipping his pants. Reno looked up at him, surprised to see his partner losing control while he has working, but taking it in stride as easily as he accepted everything else.

“Sure thing,” Reno said, pulling his hips back and easing back in, setting a relaxed pace.

“I’m not made of fucking glass, Reno!” Rufus snarled.

Reno snapped his hips forward, forcing a yelp from Rufus.

“Oh– fuck– yeah– like– that,” Rufus gasped, each thrust forcing another word from his mouth.

Rude bit his lip, hard, stroking himself to the same rhythm. God, he hadn’t felt like this since he was a teenager, Rufus’s age, like everything was new and strange and ridiculously sensitive. Rufus looked up at him, reaching under himself to wrap his hand around his cock, and it was the hottest thing Rude had ever seen. Reno fucking Rufus like the man couldn’t fire him in the morning, Rufus flushed and shaking, begging for it, eyes half-lidded and so blue it hurt to look at them. Rude was aching, heat coiling tight in his belly, close to snapping. Yeah, he was gonna come soon, too soon.

“Nngh, Reno!” Rufus shouted, his eyes rolling back into his head.

That did it for Rude. He came, throwing his head back into the wall so hard he almost passed out. Knees week, he slid down to sit on the floor, eyes unfocused as Reno lost his rhythm, making a stuttered thrust before going still.

Rude’s phone rang. He fumbled for it, holding it in a shaky hand before flipping it open.

“Tseng?” he asked, hoping his voice was more steady than the rest of him.

“Reno hasn’t clocked out, and he isn’t picking up. Is he with you?” Tseng asked, tone polite as always.

“....yeah,” Rude said.

“Tell him to keep it down,” Tseng said, and hung up.

_______________________

So... I wasn’t really sure of the ending, but can you imagine the lecture they'd get if Rude didn’t answer?

Tseng: Is there a reason you two weren’t answering your phones last night?
Reno: Of course!
Tseng: A good reason?
Rude: ..... *blushes*
Tseng: You mean to say that you threatened the security of this entire company by not answering what could have been a vital phone call, because you were busy boinking each other?
Reno: No, I was screwing Rufus. Rude was just watching.
Tseng: *headdesks*