Redemption

Chapter Notes: Just filling in some more things and tying off some loose ends with this chapter, sorry if it's anti-climatic, the good stuff is yet to come. :3


Chapter 2 - To Find Oneself
Three days later and Cloud was still unable to fully grasp what exactly had transpired. The sudden change from violent front lines to Shinra classrooms and training centers left him off balance and unable to adjust smoothly. The worst part was he did not fully understand why he was suddenly fifteen again.

To make the transition as graceful as possible, only some of his memories had reached him. They were just enough to give him an understanding of who he was and where he was from, but not enough that he could think back to put together what exactly had happened. Though judging by the general theme that his memories took, they wouldn’t paint a scene of fields of flowers and rainbows.

He remembered his final battle and the death he had endured. He recalled a voice speaking to him as he drifted mindlessly through the lifestream. That voice had promised an explanation, though one had not yet come. Whenever he tried to press further into his past, to remember how things had ended that way, a strong feeling of guilt and pain washed over him, and the headache that followed was enough to discourage further attempts to push his memories.

Despite his confusion, the quiet voices that drifted into his head when he was alone made it clear that his new existence was an important one. No higher power had graced him with a loving second chance to find peace of mind; this was an assignment to stop history from repeating itself. Cloud knew that the gravity of the situation would sink in better if all his memories were in place.

At night he would dream of what had once been, his memories returning in bits and pieces. Perhaps it was better that everything wasn’t dumped on him all at once; he wasn’t sure how close to insanity he was, but he was certain he wouldn’t need much of a push to send him there.

He was still in the Shinra building, and he knew he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. Despite everything that had happened, he was now a 15 year old boy, he needed a place to provide shelter and food for him. He also needed a home base, and so he endured the classes full of things he already knew, and the training that was far more taxing than it should have been.

Shinra was too big of a player in what had befallen The Planet to let it go unsupervised. There were memories here too. He remembered Sephiroth and Zack. He knew that there were things here he’d have to do.

He only remembered some things about Zack, but he knew full well that the SOLDIER would be his strongest connection. It was high on his priorities to find him and secure a friendship, as it seemed that he had popped into the picture before he had met Zack. It bothered him that so much about Zack was along with the memories he had not yet received, but there was nothing he could do about that right now. He remembered Zack as being a valuable comrade and a good mentor, he wouldn’t risk losing that alliance.

In all, the hardest thing to adjust to was his sudden weakness. His jumbled memories and thoughts weren’t enough to distract him from the fact that he was suddenly fifteen again, and that this new body had not yet seen a real battle. It was a hard thing to accept, and he found himself constantly mulling over it.

‘Find yourself to find your strength’ ran through his head enough times that he knew The Planet was trying to give him some instruction, but the answer was cryptic and left Cloud puzzled as to what they meant by that.

He finally received a day off from classes, and grateful for that Cloud took advantage of the chance to be left alone. He locked himself in the small dorm, ignoring the fact that he was being horridly anti-social when most of the new recruits were out and about trying to make friends. It was better off this way though, he didn’t want to take the chance of passing out in public if he was suddenly bombarded with memories he couldn’t handle.

Pacing around the small room and thinking on The Planets words was frustrating him. Needing to do something, he opened the bedroom window to let in some fresh air. The view wasn’t exactly inspiring. Looking out over Midgar’s plates there was nothing but dirty buildings and polluted landscape in the distance, the desert planes stretching out into cliffs that overlooked the city.

And that’s when it hit him. ‘Find yourself.’

The Planet wasn’t giving him a complex riddle or a big puzzle, they were literally telling him to find himself. He had died on the cliffs overlooking Midgar, The Planet had preserved his body in mako from the lifestream when he had died.

‘So you were planning this even before I died.’ The thought was bitter, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be overly upset. The Planet was just as desperate as the rest of them had been, this had probably been a last ditch effort to stop the inevitable.

‘You bought us enough time to make these arrangements.’

His plans for relaxing during his day off effectively quashed, Cloud planned his trip to the Midgar cliffs. There was not going to be a problem leaving the Shinra building, and even getting through a bustling Midgar wouldn’t be too much of a hassle despite the fact he hadn’t been in an inhabited Midgar for years. It was going to be a long walk to the cliffs though; he wasn’t used to moving around without Fenrir.

After leaving the Shinra building without so much as a glance in his direction, Cloud took a train down to the sector seven slums. A strong feeling of recognition washed over him as he walked through a small playground, but he was unable to place the memory that felt painfully important to him. For now, he decided he’d be better off not knowing.

He followed the small road out of the Midgar gate, and as he looked across the polluted plane, he knew that it would be a while before he made it back to Shinra. Without hesitating too long, Cloud started walking down the dusty road headed towards the cliffs. He’d been walking for a good stretch of time when he heard the roar of an engine behind him, turning his head to see a truck coming up behind him. It was a civilian truck, the back of it planked up with wood to make the bed deeper, and he decided not to pay too much attention to it.

The driver slowed down when he saw him, pulling up parallel to him as he walked. When he was sure he’d gotten Cloud’s attention, he stuck his head out the window.

“Hey, kid!” Cloud appreciated the fact he’d remembered to switch to civilian clothes before he came out, the only thing relating him to Shinra would be the regulation sword strapped to his back, but that didn’t seem to strike any recognition into the man. “There are monsters on this road, ya know!”

Cloud nodded, having already encountered one on his journey. It had been a small scuffle, which was still shameful as Cloud knew he should have been able to cut down the wolf in one hit. “I’m not going far.”

“Well,” The man raised a hand to rub at his chin, “We’re on our way to Junon, if you’re going the same direction I can give you a lift.” The man jabbed a thumb in the direction of the back of the truck. Peeking through the gap between wood planks, he saw a chocobo riding in the back of the truck.

“That’d be great, sir. I’m just going to the cliffs.” He pointed to the plateau overlooking Midgar.

“I can take you that far, but you’re on your own for the way back.” The man said with a grin.

Nodding his thanks, Cloud climbed into the back of the truck. The chocobo paused to examine him, peering with a black beady eye until it decided Cloud was not a threat. Giving a happy wark, the bird went back to peering over the wooden planks, watching what lay beyond.

“Don’t mind Scooter, he’s a good bird.” The man started driving again, though he seemed to be the kind that liked to talk whenever given an opportunity. Cloud absently wondered how much time this man spent talking to his chocobo travel partner.

“The names Pete, what’s yours kid?”

“Cloud.”

“So uh, Cloud. What’s a young kid like you doing wandering around out here? Trying to get yourself killed?”

“Something important to me is out here.” Cloud said, leaning against the back of the cab. Occasionally the chocobo would lower his head to nudge Cloud’s chest, expecting a pat which Cloud was sure to give. “An old friend left me something in those hills. I’ve got to find it.”

“Oh, so a treasure hunt?” The man sounded somewhat intrigued. “Well I sure hope you find what you’re looking for.” The man went on, for what reason Cloud wasn’t sure. “A lot of people in this place don’t find what they’re searching for.”

“What do you mean by that?” Cloud asked, not sure why he was antagonizing the man to continue the conversation, but figuring there wasn’t much else to do in the back of a loud truck with a chocobo that didn’t seem to understand personal space.

“A lot of people come to Midgar from all over the countryside. A lot of small town folk, hoping to make their life in the big city of mako.” The man snorted. “Never make it to the plates, most of them get stuck in the slums. Lookin’ at you I don’t see a slum kid though.”

Cloud frowned, wondering just what the man meant by that. “Too clean, too slight. Damn a kid like you wouldn’t last a minute. Be happy up on the plates kid, there aint nothing worth losing everything for down here.”

“I’m not from the plates.” Cloud said after a while. “I’m one of those kids that came from a small town. Came to the big city of mako to make something of myself.” The driver let out a laugh.

“You made it with Shinra, didn’t you? Aye I recognize the sword on your back, used to carry one around myself. You do right by them and they’ll take care of you. I should know.”

It was odd listening to someone else’s story when his own was in such turmoil, but Cloud was curious. “What happened?”

“The war with Wutai, that’s what. I did my bit for Shinra, but when I came back I’d seen too much. I asked to be released from the military. They gave me my wad of money and I moved to Costa Del Sol. Got myself a nice place for my family, got a bird for my kid. Figured she’d do better on a solid chocobo then on some flashy vehicle. Got a good pen for it, and then another couple came from the wild and moved into it as well. Figured I’d start breeding the blasted things to make some money off them. I’ll be damned, but renting them out to tourists turned out to be a pretty sharp idea.”

The conversation was starting to deteriorate, and Cloud lost interest when the man started talking about the politics behind breeding chocobos. By the time they made it to the cliffs, Cloud was relieved to be free of the talkative man. When they stopped Cloud jumped from the back of the truck, but Pete grinned and waved him over.

“Hey Cloud, if you’re ever in Costa, make sure you give me a call. An’ if you ever need a chocobo I got a whole flock of them.” The man reached through the window to hand Cloud a slick white card, which he dutifully accepted.

“I’ll remember, thank you.” Cloud said, and waved as the man and his chocobo drove off.

Cloud blinked down at the card for a moment. There was a picture of a chocobo on the background, with the man’s address and phone number on it. Tucking it into a pocket, Cloud shrugged it off. It had been a long time since he had just talked to someone he didn’t know. During the war conversation of any sort was minimal, and now in Shinra nobody noticed him enough to talk.

Shaking his head Cloud walked the last remaining distance to the top of the cliff. When he reached the top he just stood there for a moment, absorbing the view. It was familiar to him, already many memories of this place had returned. The landscape was different though, he remembered looking over a ruined Midgar. He remembered a rusted buster sword stabbed deeply into the ground, a memorial to something currently forgotten.

Turning away from memories and to the issue at hand, Cloud surveyed the area, unsure of where to look. He knew that his final battle had taken place in this area, but there was nothing to testify to that fact now. He also knew that when he had died, these cliffs had been worn away and eroded greatly. Whatever he was looking for now was probably underneath the surface of the ground.

The voices were quiet, not giving him directions which frustrated Cloud. He didn’t have a clue what he was visually looking for, so he gave up on pinpointing an exact location and started to walk around the area, hoping that whatever higher power was out there would guide him to what he was looking for.

He spent a good half hour searching in such a matter, wandering back and forth across the top of the cliff, feeling quite foolish. He was almost ready to give up, but he suddenly wandered across just the right spot a ways away from the edge of the cliff. There was no question it was the right spot, either.

The ground burst around his feet, lifestream shooting upward and winding around his legs to pin him in place. The ground just seemed to melt away as the lifestream pushed upward with its load, and Cloud shuddered at what it revealed.

It was like a block of mako had been buried inside the ground, and encased inside was Cloud’s body as it had been when he had died. Wounds were half healed from the pure energy that the mako had smothered his body in, but the body did not heal well after its life had deserted it.

It was an extremely eerie feeling as Cloud kneeled next to his body, examining what he had once been. He had at one time been an attractive young man, but the war had beaten him down to a gaunt, desperate looking thing. Skin was dirty and stained with dirt and blood, but not enough to disguise how terribly pale he was. His lips, chin and neck were coated in blood that had been choked up during his last, desperate breaths. Clouded blue eyes were closed but the dark circles under them were still painfully obvious. He looked...exhausted, tired. Even asleep in death he looked unable to rest.

Which was a bitterly true statement.

The mako shimmered under his hand as he reached out to skim his fingertips against it, hissing in surprise at it melted away as ice to an open flame, sinking deeper into the body that it had protected. Without mako pulsing and swirling around him, the body looked even paler, even more haggard and desperate.

It was curiosity that caused him to reach out again, lightly brushing away sandy hair from a dirty forehead. He regretted the soft action though, as soon as the soft skin of his fingertips came into contact with his body of old, a sharp electric shock froze him into place as mako crackled around his hand and arm.

The next thing Cloud saw was a bright light flashing from the body, and then there was nothing but pain beyond what his young body had ever felt. His senses overloaded and he felt himself collapsing, falling onto the body underneath and creating even more of the agonizing contact.

The pain drove his consciousness from his body, but instead of passing out, he only remembered.

He really hadn’t wanted to involve Tifa in this. She said that she knew what she was getting in to when she joined, but Cloud knew she probably regretted those words now. Nobody knew what they were getting in to when this had started. The problem was, there was no way to get out of it anymore, either.

She had been sent to quell a small uprising in the Northern Crater. One of the earliest of attacks had occurred there, but people were too busy trying to preserve what was left of towns that had been attacked at the same time. The energies that were in the crater had been tainted strongly from Sephiroth’s presence there so many years ago. The energy had started to eat at The Planet, and when The Planets screams became loud enough, people reacted.

The monsters that were crawling out of the Northern Crater were stronger then they had expected, and contact had been lost with Tifa’s group. The days Cloud had spent in Mideel area had been agony. So far away and unable to do anything, yet knowing that the lost contact meant that Tifa wouldn’t be able to get help even if she needed it. He dreaded the words from The Planet, saying that she had joined the lifestream. He dreaded that those words would ever be spoken.

Tifa meant so much to him. Their small family, Tifa, Marlene, and Denzel was what had taught him how to live a normal life for almost a decade. Tifa was always there for him, no, they were there for each other. Leaning on each other and supporting each other through thick and thin. He knew he loved her greatly, perhaps in more ways than he was really capable of dealing with, but just the thought of losing her made his chest ache.

It would have been so much better if she hadn’t put herself in danger. He wouldn’t have to worry so much about her, he’d be able to concentrate on other things. But the WRO needed all the experienced fighters that they could get, and Tifa was a great asset.

Her group had come back into contact with them a week later, when Cloud had almost gone mad with frustration. She had met up with Vincent and Yuffie’s group in Bone Village, and their forces had banded together to fight the mobs that were beating them down.

The three commanders would end up staying in the northern continent right to the end, just as Cloud and his group were holed up in Mideel. At that time, Northern Crater and the hole in Mideel were the two biggest entrances that The Darkness had into the lifestream. They put everything they could into defending it, into stopping The Darkness from seeping down into it, but...

Monsters started pouring out of the Northern Crater suddenly several months later, overwhelming the area and wiping out most of their forces. Yuffie had been injured and poisoned heavily by The Darkness, which ended up killing her slowly during their retreat.

Vincent and Tifa both died in Kalm. By that time they had lost so much, Cloud had become so numb to everything going on around him, that he never properly mourned her death. Never had a chance to grieve or say goodbye. And now he never would.


Nanaki, son of Seto. He had fought alongside Cloud and his dwindling forces for months. The sheer power in his body outmatching any soldier that the WRO could send them made him a valuable fighter, and his pride and sensibility kept all those around him from going mad. At night, Cloud would lay awake mulling over all that had happened, sometimes depressed, sometimes feeling too sorry for himself. Nanaki would sneak into Cloud’s tent during those nights, and curl up on the bed at Cloud’s feet.

The two would talk for hours. It was always positive, up building talk. What would happen when the war was over, what they were going to do with their lives. How they would make the dead looking down on them from the lifestream proud.

Somewhere along the lines, their talks started changing. Reality started to sink in and they both knew that there probably wasn’t going to be an end to the war. Or if there was, there would be no life worth living afterwards. There would be nothing but rebuilding, rebuilding with the constant fear that everything would be destroyed once more.

The last night they talked like that, Nanaki and Cloud spoke of their places in the lifestream, what it would be like in the promised land when they would be free of the pain and the suffering of this world. What it would be like to join those who had fallen beside them in battle.

The next day there was an attack on what was left of the village of Mideel. The ground opened up, exposing the tainted lifestream as it reached out towards them, promising a painful death. A building teetered on the edge of the abyss, a small child trapped inside. Nanaki jumped towards it to save her, shoving her out of it, saving her life, but falling off the edge of the hole himself.

Cloud remembered hearing Nanaki’s strangled howl of pain as he died.

The little girl died two nights later from mako poisoning, and Cloud could never stop feeling that Nanaki’s death had been in vain. After that, Cloud would lay awake mulling over what was happening, feeling depressed and sorry for himself, but nobody was there to talk to anymore.


The only thing they found of Barret was the twisted metal of his gun arm, resting in a pool of blood, Darkness, and gargled human remains. Cloud was fighting too hard trying not to end up the same way to say goodbye.


Cid Highwind took off from Junon with his airship, transporting Reeve and several high-power WRO associates, aimed for Costa Del Sol on a routine stop. They were never heard from afterwards.


Cloud was a little older than his body was now, though not by much compared to the other memories. He was in a reactor in Nibelheim, holding an injured Tifa. The man that aspiring SOLDIER’s looked up to the most, Sephiroth, had been the one to hurt her. He heard a voice telling him to kill Sephiroth, and he couldn’t find it in him to refuse.


More time had passed. His eyes were burning with mako and he couldn’t see straight, but he was doing much better than the man, no, the boy laying beside him. Zack and Cloud had escaped, Zack had fought with everything he had to give them freedom. He had gained freedom for Cloud, but the price had been excruciatingly high.

“On my behalf, live...You are the proof that I existed.”

Zack died in front of him, as the rain beat down on his blood soaked body. He died the same place Cloud had nearly a decade later. He died with only one person to know, with only one person to acknowledge that he had once been an amazing, living being.


Hojo peered down at him as he was stretched out on an operating table. Cloud quietly begging for it to end. No more tests, no more experiments. No more.


Cloud watching from a distance as Barret screamed in agony, running forward to beat at the remains of Sector 7, knowing that their friends and comrades were caught inside, killed by the falling plate.


The Planet screamed as its lifestream was tainted by Darkness, eaten alive, feeling the same pain Cloud had felt as the geostigma had crawled through his veins.


‘Don’t forget Cloud.’

The swarm of images stopped making sense, blurring into oblivion as they bombarded his mind with memories he wished he could put behind him. The pain of losing all his friends, of knowing he hadn’t been able to stop it. He remembered how he had only been able to stand by and watch everything he cared for spiral out of control, and that crushed what was left of his ability to hold on.

The emotions and the pain became too much, and his mind gave out as well, finally letting him fall blissfully unconscious against what he had once been.

AN: I seem to like ending these chapters with knocking Cloud out. >_> Lol. Chapter 3 is underway, feedback is what I live for. :3