The Measure of a Man

Title - The Measure of a Man
Fandom – FFVII
Characters – Yazoo, Kadaj, Loz, Tseng, Reno, Rude, Rufus, Elena
Warnings this chapter – yaoi, swearing, angst
Disclaimer – Don't own the boys, just playing with them
Note – Story begins immediately after Advent Children


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– chapter 2 - Damage -


Tseng was coming out of Rufus’ office when he met Rude in the hallway. “Reno’s putting the last one in the cells now. Here,” he said, passing a small flask to the Wutain. Tseng raised an eyebrow at the container and Rude added, “Holy water for your shoulder,” before continuing down the hallway towards the communal kitchen. Tseng smiled, tucking the flask into his jacket before following the Turk.

In the kitchen, Elena had pizza’s waiting for them and the smell of the various toppings filled the room. “It was Reno’s choice tonight,” she remarked to Rude as Tseng entered. The Wutain wasn’t fond of pizza but he was too tired and hungry to care tonight.

“Thank you, Elena,” Tseng said, earning a bright smile from the petite blonde. He gave a small smile back, settling down to eat slowly. Elena and Rude joined him at the table, talking about everything that had happened that day but he had no energy to join in the conversation. Once his hunger had been sated, Tseng excused himself and went to his room, slipping off his shoes and pulling the flask out of his pocket to put it on the bedside table. Flopping onto his bed fully dressed, he couldn’t even find the energy to undress as he closed his eyes and let sleep take him.

***..***

Reno walked into the kitchen, flopping down into a chair and starting on the nearest pizza. “How did he handle it?” Elena asked, directing her question at Rude.

“Professional, as always,” Rude answered, passing Reno a beer automatically. Elena hummed in response, her eyes downcast.

“He was a little… well, weird when we got back. Apologized to me for losing his cool before we ran into the remnants,” Reno added casually, drinking half his beer in one go and belching loudly.

“Pig,” Elena automatically responded, making the redhead chuckle.

“Really? He apologized?” Rude asked, frowning.

“Yeah, it threw me but it’s not necessarily a bad thing,” Reno said, looking over at Elena who was still deep in thought. “Really wish you’d just tell us what they did to you and him, Lena. It’s probably gonna come out anyway, with them all here.”

“Not my place to tell you about what he went through,” she remarked, nodded her thanks to Rude as he passed her a beer. “I can only tell you what happened to me.”

“Fair enough,” the redhead agreed, helping himself to another slice of pizza.

“You don’t have to, Lena,” Rude cut in, making the young woman smile.

“It’s okay. It’s probably better that you know now anyway. I’d rather you hear it from me than them.”

Reno listened to her story intently, passing her more beer whenever her bottle ran out. He knew that with enough alcohol, she would eventually spill what she knew about Tseng. The only surprise was that Rude, who was usually so protective of their only remaining female member, was going along with it. It seemed Reno wasn’t the only one concerned about their leader.

The first day of their imprisonment had been fairly textbook, with intimidation, beatings, threats and constant questions about mother, leaving both Turks injured but far from broken. That night they had been left out in the open, tied to opposite sides of the same tree. Tseng asked her about her injuries and she told him that one broken arm and a couple of cracked ribs were her only concerns so far. He had refused to elaborate on his own wounds, which had really pissed Elena off. Tseng’s ‘superman’ attitude always did rub the female Turk the wrong way. She was still confident at that stage that they would survive the experience, her only worry being that the smell of their blood might attract some passing beast that would eat them. Elena had a paranoid fear of being eaten alive and Reno was always amused by the fact it was the only thing that ever seemed to scare the tough little blond.

“The next morning, they took Tseng away. The big one stayed with me and just… well watched me. I kept waiting for him to hit me or something but he never did. Come to think of it, he never touched me the whole time we were there. It was always the other two.” She paused to finish another beer, rubbing her eyes before continuing.

“For a little while, it was so quiet and then suddenly the screaming started and the fucker just smiled at me. He started mumbling something about mother having fun and laughing… I could tell it was Tseng screaming and it went on and on… gods, I would of done anything to make it stop, to never of have to have heard that sound.” Elena had to force the words out through her tears, overcome with a mixture of anger and sadness at the experience. Rude put an arm around her and crooned words of comfort as Reno looked on sympathetically. They’d all been tortured at some point of their careers but out of all of them, Tseng had never screamed. Whatever they’d done to him, it must have been worse than anything they’d experienced before.

“Fuck,” the redhead muttered, his mind trying to bring up possibilities that he really didn’t want to imagine.

“It went on for so long,” she whispered, her eyes unfocused as she remembered. “Finally it stopped but they didn’t bring him back until hours after. When they did… he was unconscious and… well, naked. Instead of tying him up behind me, they tied him up to a tree in front of me. They wanted me to see what they’d done, to freak me out, and I hate to admit it, but it was working. He was still bleeding, most of it seemed to be coming from his shoulder which was pierced through and the skin around it was a weird black colour. The injury wasn’t bad enough to make him scream like that on its own, so you see, I really don’t know what they did to him,” she said, looking up at Reno and Rude apologetically. “I wish I could be more help.”

“Lena, you are helping. I’m sorry we made you relive it,” Reno said, reaching over the table to squeeze her hand. The gesture seemed to give her a little more strength and she continued on, this time her tears held at bay.

“After that, Kadaj and Loz left and Yazoo just stood there, staring at Tseng. I thought that it was my turn next but after about half an hour, he left too. A little while later, Tseng opened his eyes and just stared at the ground. I spent hours trying to get him to respond but he wouldn’t, no matter what I said and I began to think that they had broken him beyond repair. I knew I wouldn’t be able to survive whatever they’d done if he couldn’t and I nearly gave up hope when suddenly Vincent appeared. He untied us, wrapping Tseng up in that cloak of his and carrying him out with me following behind. I asked him how he found us and he said he’d heard the screaming. Ironic how, in the end, that was what saved us.”

“When did Tseng come out of that state and start talking again?” Rude asked, jolting Reno out of his own thoughts over what Elena had said.

“He spent the whole time we were travelling unconscious, as far as I know. The first time I saw him awake again was at the hospital, after I was released myself. He just acted as if nothing had happened, giving orders as usual and I didn’t know how to bring it up.”

Reno was angry, his mind supplying a variety of disturbing images to try and explain what the remnants had done to his leader. Shaking his head, he cursed himself as he remembered how kind he’d been to Kadaj, outside just a little while ago. “We should make the fuckers scream for what they did to Tseng,” he growled angrily.

“And let ourselves fall to the same level as possessed remnants of a madman? I don’t think so, Reno. I would hope, after everything we’ve been through, that we were above that now,” Rufus’ voice interrupted, making all three Turks turn towards him as he stepped out of the hallway. “They are no longer a threat to anyone except themselves.”

“But Sir! After what they did to Tseng…,” Reno began, standing up from his chair as he spoke, only to have Rufus hold up a hand to stop him.

“It was Tseng that recommended they not be tortured. He pointed out that the trio have no information that we need and with their apparent removal from Jenova’s influence and lose of power, they are now nothing more than three confused, rejected children,” the President explained, walking over and pouring a coffee. “I did offer to let him have time with them, to do whatever he wanted but he declined.”

“Bullshit,” Reno growled, making Rufus smile sadly at him.

“My initial thoughts as well, but I’m afraid not. I’ve decided to honor his wishes in this instance, which means the rest of you have to as well,” the President finished, walking down the hall and into his own room.

“There’s not enough beer in the world to make this okay,” Reno murmured, turning towards his own room and ignoring Rude’s calls after him.

***..***

The next morning, Rufus left for Edge, taking Elena and Reno with him. He had a meeting with Reeve Tuesti to discuss where to start the repairs to the city and wouldn’t be back for two days. He’d ordered Rude to get the brother’s measurements before he left and would be picking up some normal clothes for the trio, as well as informing Cloud of the remnants survival and imprisonment with the Turks. The President had decided that it was better to be up front with Strife, rather than have him find out on his own and come to the wrong conclusions. Tseng was glad it was a conversation he wouldn’t be a part of.

It had been decided by the President that Elena would take some time off and stay in Edge for around a month, giving her plenty of time to recover while they worked out what to do with the remnants. She didn’t want to be anywhere near them and although Tseng shared her feelings, he found he couldn’t leave. The Wutain wanted to be there, to ensure that the trio never hurt anyone again and to have some say in what would be finally done to Yazoo.

Reno had been in a strange mood before they left and once they’d gone, Tseng had lined up Rude and demanded to know why. The big Turk had finally admitted that Elena had told them of her own experience and Reno was frustrated about there being no payback for what had happened to her and Tseng. The Wutain was angry at her at first, but after a while he realized it was what she needed to do, as part of her own healing process. He was relieved she was unaware of the details of what had happened to him and silently thanked Valentine for keeping whatever he had witnessed, or worked out, to himself. The events of that day were his burden to bear and he would never tell another soul. It would be too much like reliving the events and the Wutain would rather pretend it never happened and just try and forget. Unfortunately, the Remnants being right there was not helping him in his attempts.

At least this morning had given him one positive, amongst all the negative. The water from Aerith’s church had seemed to work on his shoulder, the pain finally subsiding and the damaged flesh now a healthy pink instead of the sickly black it had been. He had thanked Rude for the idea and the big Turk had demanded to see the wound. Of course, then he’d insisted on treating it and bandaging it up, but the Wutain really didn’t mind and found himself appreciating the concern from the quiet man. Tseng had always considered himself a kind of father or at least, older brother to the remaining Turks but it was nice to know that if anything happened to him, Rude would be the perfect replacement as a leader of the group.

Rude took over the care of the brothers, removing their handcuffs and chains as per Rufus’ latest orders. Tseng had been relieved for the reprieve as it allowed him to have a break and the head Turk made good use of the time on the first day, meditating and spending most of the time resting in his room. The day was gloriously boring and uneventful and by the time he slipped into bed that night, he was back to his old self, at least outwardly. The nightmares still came, making him wake up with his pulse racing and his body covered in sweat, but he was sure they would fade with time.

The next morning, he was sitting quietly, enjoying his tea when Rude joined him. The Turk had just finished giving the brother’s their breakfast and was frowning as he seated himself across the table. Tseng thought about pretending he didn’t notice but eventually, his curiosity got the better of him. “What is wrong, Rude,” he asked, noticing the way Rude would not meet his eyes.

“Yazoo is refusing to eat. The other two are eating, although the youngest keeps asking for Reno,” the big Turk said softly, his eyes briefly lifting to met Tseng’s before darting away once more.

“Why would he be asking for Reno?” Tseng asked, ignoring the first part of Rude’s statement for now. He only received a shrug of the shoulders in reply, silence falling over the room for a time until Rude spoke once more.

“Yazoo is weakening quickly. I can’t get him to talk or eat as he refuses to even acknowledge my presence.”

Sighing, Tseng put down his mug and looked over the table at the other Turk. It looked as if the subject wouldn’t be so easy to avoid after all. “I’ll talk to him,” he muttered, standing up and rinsing out his cup in the sink.

“You don’t have to. I just thought you should know,” Rude murmured, looking over at him sadly. The look annoyed Tseng as he was sick and tired of being treated with pity by those who used to respect and look up to him.

“I said, I’ll deal with it,” he repeated, the aggravation slipping into his voice. Rude averted his eyes and nodded before standing up and leaving the room.

***..***

Tseng paused in front of Yazoo’s cell, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. This time it’s different, this time you’re in control, he repeated, over and over in his head. Breathing in deeply, he opened the door and found Yazoo lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Walking in, he closed the door behind him and came to a stop next to the bed, looking down at the middle brother.

“If you think I’m going to let you starve to death, you are wrong. I will not let you get out of this so easily,” he said, his voice flat despite his racing heart. Taking a syringe out of his pocket, he prepped the needle before injecting it into Yazoo’s neck. The young man flinched, causing a twisted smile to spread across the head Turks face.

“So, not as lost as everyone thinks,” he muttered, capping the needle and slipping it back into his pocket. “Don’t get your hopes up of dying anytime soon. That was just an injection of vitamins, to keep you going. I want you to live, feel the pain that the rejection and abandonment of your mother causes you. Death would only bring you peace.” Leaning down over the bed, he hovered over Yazoo’s face as he whispered, “I will never allow you peace.”

Suddenly, the Remnants eye’s flicked towards him and as their gazes met, Tseng flinched away, unable to stop his reaction. He backed away from the bed, his body beginning to tremble. No, no, not now! The recent control he’d found deserted him as he backed towards the door.

“Was what we did to you so bad?” Yazoo whispered, sitting up and tilting his head to the side as he studied the Wutain. “Though, it’s not the pain we caused that upsets you, is it? Turks know pain. They take and give it as easily as breathing.”

“Shut up,” Tseng growled, his hand clutching at the door handle behind his back.

“If it was the pain, you would be directing your hate at Kadaj as well. No, it’s my actions that have you so traumatized, but why?”

Tseng flew across the room, grabbing Yazoo by the throat and slamming him back onto the bed. Both his hands squeezed tightly as he straddled the young man’s body, watching as the Remnant gasped and fought for air.

“You know nothing about me,” he hissed as Yazoo’s lips turned blue. He couldn’t take his eyes off them and as he stared, his mind betrayed him. So soft and warm… “No!” the Wutain yelled, jumping off of Yazoo and leaning against the far wall, breathing heavily.

Yazoo rolled over onto his stomach, fighting for breath as he directed wide eyes at the Turk. “It… was not my… intention… to upset you,” the young man forced out between breaths. “I just… do not understand.”

“You’re not human enough to ever understand,” Tseng retorted, opening the door and slamming it in his wake.

***..***

Rude flicked off the monitor, sitting back in the chair and running a hand over his face. He hated himself for spying on Tseng, but he’d had no choice when Rufus had ordered him to force a confrontation between the head Turk and Yazoo, and then record it. The President was not a patient man and the possibility of losing Tseng had caused Rufus to push for answers. Unfortunately, the conversation had only raised more questions, the only thing revealed being that the whole issue definitely revolved around Yazoo. Standing and walking out of Rufus’ office, he locked the door before heading for the kitchen. Right now he needed a drink before phoning Rufus with the results of the forced meeting.

Rude already knew what his orders would be. The President would want him to force another confrontation to see what else could be revealed and Rude knew he would refuse him. Tseng was too fragile and from his reaction today, he would probably kill Yazoo if pushed again, not to mention the damage it would do to the Wutain.

Pouring a scotch on ice, he swirled the glass and tried to think of a solution. He could try and get information out of Loz, as the older brother seemed to have developed a measure of trust towards him, but Elena had already told them that he had been with her the whole time. Kadaj had been the only other person there and the little brat only glared at him every time Rude entered his cell. Glared and asked for Reno… Rude smiled sadly as his solution suddenly became clear. Leaving the questioning of Kadaj to Reno was the best option and that meant a reprieve until the others returned from Edge. Flipping open his phone, he hit Rufus’ number and took a sip of his drink as he listened to it ring. He could only hope that the President would agree with his idea.

***..***

By noon the next day, Rufus was back with a very subdued Reno. As they entered the living area, the redhead simply nodded a greeting at Tseng and went down the hall and into his room. The President motioned for the Wutain to follow him into his office and once they were both inside with the door closed, Rufus turned to face him.

“Sit down, Tseng. There is much we need to discuss,” the blonde said with a smile, walking over and preparing two drinks. The head Turk sat stiffly on the sofa, watching his boss suspiciously. He knew Rufus and the young man was acting like he was definitely up to something. Tseng accepted the glass with a nod, raising an eyebrow when he identified the contents as vodka.

“Bad day?” the head Turk inquired. Rufus sat down beside him, smiling before he answered.

“I’ve had worse, but that’s not what I’ve called you in here for. Much has happened in the last couple of weeks and I have not been available for you to talk to,” the President began, stopping to sigh when the Wutain flinched at his words. “Tseng, please. I’m not going to force you to talk about anything you do not wish to. I just… well, I would like to make it clear that I am always here for you, as you have been for me.”

Tseng almost gaped at Rufus, managing to hold in the reaction as he stared at the blonde. “Thank you, Rufus. I appreciate the sentiment but I can assure you, there is nothing I need to talk about at the moment,” he said slowly, averting his eyes and sipping on his drink.

“Even with the brother’s here, there is nothing you need to discuss?” Rufus pressed, causing Tseng to flick his gaze back to the President.

“No, there is nothing,” the Wutain said flatly, his eyes cold as their gaze met. “I would ask what has happened to Reno, though.” Rufus was silent as he continued to hold the head Turks eyes with his own. Tseng was worried that the other man was going to press the issue and was relieved when he finally relented, for now at least.

“When I spoke to Cloud, Vincent was there. He asked how you were recovering and Reno… well, he didn’t react well. Valentine requested to speak to him alone and when Reno resisted, I ordered him to do it. He’s not very pleased with me at the moment,” the President said with a smirk, taking another sip of his drink. “Whatever Vincent said to him seemed to dissolve his anger, only to replace it with silence. I’m not sure which one is worse.”

Tseng’s body had stiffened at the mention of Vincent and his inner thoughts started to spin as he attempted to concentrate on Rufus’ words. Unfortunately, he failed as his mind focused on the issue of what Valentine had told Reno and the possibilities ended up pushing his mind back to when he and Elena had been saved by the mysterious ex-Turk.

Warmth suddenly enveloped Tseng as he tried to force his eyes open. “Please,” he whispered hoarsely. “Please, stop.” Through the fog and haze, he felt himself being lifted and could hear a heart beating next to his ear.

“It is over, Tseng. Sleep now,” a deep voice whispered and he fell back into unconsciousness.

The next time he became aware of his surroundings, he managed to get his eyes open only to be faced with darkness. He was still being held and when he tried to move his limbs, he found they would not respond.

“Elena?” he rasped, managing to move his hand, only to find his whole body wrapped tightly in some kind of material.

“She is safe but asleep right now, Tseng,” the deep voice again replied, so familiar but the Wutain just couldn’t place who was speaking.

“Who are you?” he said, so quietly that he thought at first his words had gone unheard.

“A friend,” the voice replied, but before Tseng could say anything more, blackness took him again.

The smell of smoke woke him the third time and when he squinted his eyes open, he could see the flames of a fire dancing before him. His sight was still blurry and his mind still full of a dense fog that wouldn’t lift.

“Fire?” he mumbled, managing to move his legs a little.

“Tseng?” the mystery voice asked, sounding so close. He suddenly became aware of another source of warmth, this time against his back and as he tried to move, arms tightened around his waist. “Do not try to move. You will aggravate your injuries.”

The Wutain’s whole body tensed in fear. “Please let me go,” he begged, desperation lacing his words, even as his body began to react. He could only whimper as his heart rate sped up, his muscles seemingly acting of their own accord as his body pushed back into the form behind him and he squeezed his eyes shut in shame. The need for touch was so strong, like an avalanche crashing over his senses, gaining strength as it went. He threw his head back onto the shoulder of the body holding him upright, his back arching as his voice moaned his need.

“Sleep,” the voice hissed and Tseng sighed in relief as he felt the magic of a sleep spell wash over him…

“Tseng! Tseng!” a voice called. He was shaken out of his memory, opening his eyes to the sight of Rufus’ panicked face.

“Rufus,” he muttered, frowning at the sudden headache his memories had caused.

“Thank gaia,” the President whispered from his position on the floor, kneeling in front of the head Turk.

“Why are you on the floor, Rufus?” Tseng asked.

“You just fazed out on me. Sitting upright with your eyes closed and you were crying and… I didn’t know what to do,” Rufus rambled before stopping himself and taking a deep breath. “Are you okay?”

Tseng reached up and touched his cheek, bringing his hand up to stare at the wetness on his fingers. “I… I am sorry,” he muttered, putting his hand down. “I am fine and I apologize if I caused you concern. I think I must be overtired. Would you excuse me? I think it best if I lie down now.”

“Do you want me to help you get up? Rude is coming…,” Rufus began, only to stop as Tseng stood up, stumbling a little and making the President grab him around the waist. “Fuck, Tseng! Please just wait a moment for Rude. I already called him and he’s on his way.”

“That is unnecessary. I was just a little dizzy at first,” Tseng said, looking down at the blonde who was still clinging to his waist. “You can let me go now, Rufus. I will not fall but I thank you for your concern.” The President reluctantly released him and Tseng headed out the door, leaving Rufus to stare after him as he headed straight to his room.

TBC

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