Stolen

Disclaimer: I seriously don't own this, Square Enix will send the Turks to eliminate me if I tried to claim it…on second thought I now own it, send Tseng. Naked. Don't forget the whip.

Warning: More childish behavior, OOC, Genesis, Hojo, drugs, voyeurism without detail. I've never written Genesis before…that's a warning right there. Oh and I've never written Cissnei either, so major OOC there. Hell I barely paid attention to her in the game.

"SEPHIROTH!" Zack shouted as he pounded on the General's office door, "OPEN UP YOU FREAKING STALKER!"

"Zachary," an exasperated voice sighed, "If anyone is a stalker it's you."

Turning to find Sephiroth standing behind him, Zack put his fists on his hips and attempted to glower at the silver haired man, but as soon as he saw who was standing next to the General a smirk spread across his face. "Oh I don't think so Mr. High and Mighty," Zack said, "I'm not the one throwing eggs at Clo-whoa!"

Zack stumbled as he was pushed into Sephiroth's office, barely catching himself before falling on his butt. The General turned to close the door, inwardly wincing when he saw Angeal and Genesis had followed him into the tidy room. "What are you talking about Zack," Sephiroth decided to focus his attention on the young First, "I haven't heard about anyone throwing eggs."

"I know it was you," Zack said pointedly.

"Ooh," Genesis squealed, "What have you been doing?"

"I have not been doing anything," Sephiroth said airily.

"He's been spying on my friend Cloud and throwing food at his window every time he touches his boyfriend," Zack said bluntly.

"Sephiroth," Angeal sighed as Genesis cackled evilly, "We've had discussions about how you obsess about things."

"I'm not obsessing," Sephiroth waved his hand dismissively, "I didn't-"

"You were the one who threw the chicken at the window," Zack snapped, "You admitted it."

"Chicken?" Genesis choked out, "That was you? It hit the President. I…I think I love you."

"It hit the President?" Sephiroth looked intrigued.

"Yeah, apparently he's having a full inquiry by the Turks to see who did it too," Genesis smirked, "You are so fucked."

"No he's not," Zack said, "Cloud is, he probably was trying to get it off his window and it hit the fat as…President.

Zack barely held back a snicker when the silver haired man went unexpectedly pale. "Oh shit," Sephiroth breathed and tried to bolt out of the office.

Genesis blocked the General, a smirk on his face. "My friend, the fates are cruel. There are no dreams, no honor remains. The arrow has left the bow of the goddess," the redhead quoted.

"What?" Zack quirked his head to the side.

"Cloud's fucked."

"Oh…"

"Gen, stop with the god damn Lovele-" Sephiroth started before a sword was pressed against his throat.

"Take it back or I'll spill your blood for the Goddess," Genesis growled.

"Loveless is the best play ever," Sephiroth said hastily. The sword withdrew and the General breathed a sigh of relief. "No one can understand you though," Sephiroth muttered.

"It doesn't matter if you guys think Cloud's in trouble," Zack smirked, "Reno's going to Tseng to tell him someone was throwing food at his window, the Turks will find out who did it."

The silver haired man just shrugged at that, not like the Turks would do anything to him. Genesis however perked up. "Tseng is involved?"

"Leave him alone Gen," Angeal sighed.

"Yeah, leave Pony Boy alone," Zack shook his head slightly, stopping when everyone stared at him. "What?"

"Did you just call Tseng Pony Boy?" Angeal asked.

"Um…yeah."

"Why?" Genesis snarled.

Taking a step back Zack's violet eyes flicked between Angeal and Genesis. The redheaded SOLDIER looked absolutely livid and knowing how…temperamental…Genesis tended to be things weren't looking good for Zack. "Because he has a pony tail and is a boy…" Zack said slowly as he looked at Angeal again.

"Oh," Genesis said cheerfully, "That's okay then."

"What did you think I meant?" Zack stared with wide eyes.

"It doesn't matter Puppy," Angeal said.

"No, I want to know."

Sephiroth smirked widely, rather pleased with how the group's attention had turned away from him. "It has to do with what Sephiroth wants to do to that little blond friend of yours," Genesis smirked.

The General's jaw dropped and he sputtered for a moment. "I do NOT want to do that!" he finally got out.

"Do what?" Zack looked rather intrigued at this point.

"Well you see," Genesis smirked, "When two men love each other very much, or at least love each other's bodies very much, they do kinky things that involve-ow!"

"Do not corrupt my Puppy," Angeal glared at his friend as he shook the sting out of his hand from smacking Genesis on the back of the head. "Don't make me hurt you for real."

"Ooh," the redhead purred, "Daddy likes it rough."

All the other men took a step away from the redhead. "Okay," Sephiroth said slowly, "That was incredibly disturbing."

"You know you like it," Genesis said airily.

"No," Angeal said calmly, "We don't."

Before the redheaded SOLDIER could respond the office door opened and in walked a man dressed in the typical black Turk suit. He had short black hair tied back in a pony tail, sharp brown eyes, and tanned skin. Overall he was a very beautiful man. "TSENG!" Genesis squealed and threw himself at the brunet, stopping short when an EMR was pointed at his throat. "Does Tseng need some lovin?" he asked with a pout.

"Tseng needs you to keep at least 10 feet away at all times as according to the restraining order," the brunet answered, the EMR crackling to life.

"But Tseeeeng," Genesis whined, "Then I can't grope you inappropriately."

"That's the point."

"You're no fun," the redhead pouted, but stepped back anyway.

Ignoring the redhead who seemed to be doing a Zack Fair pout, Tseng turned to Sephiroth. "I assume you know why I'm here," the brunet said.

"I can assure you that I have no idea," the General crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the Turk, "I have no desire for some filthy Turk to-ow! Genesis!" Sephiroth rubbed the back of his head and glared at the redhead.

"You do not speak of my lover in such a way!" Genesis snarled before squeaking as a bolt of electricity ran through his body.

"I am not your lover," Tseng said coolly as he lowered his EMR. "General, I'm here because of the chicken incident."

"I had nothing to do with any chicken fire! We already proved it was Zack!" Sephiroth snapped.

"…we've already been over that and we both know that's not true," Tseng sighed, "But I'm not referring to the flaming chicken launcher that set the labs on fire. I'm here because someone was throwing chicken at one of my Turks apartment window last night and when it fell off the building it hit the President."

"I hardly see what that has to do with me," Sephiroth said.

"We have surveillance video of you throwing a chicken breast and thigh as well as eggs and fresh fruit," Tseng's voice was highly disinterested, "And if you don't behave yourself the President has given me permission to leak the footage of you walking around in your underwear."

"…I hate you," the silver haired SOLDIER turned and sat down at his desk, blatantly ignoring the positively gleeful Genesis.

"Ooh Tseng! Can I see that video?" Genesis looked at the Turk with wide, bright eyes.

"No," Tseng said numbly.

"Can I see it?" Zack asked.

"Sure," Tseng turned towards the door, "Call me when you want it."

The group watched as Tseng exited the office before three sets of eyes settled on Zack. "What?" the raven haired man asked innocently.

"How did you get Tseng's phone number?" Genesis asked.

"Tseng and I are buds," Zack said happily, "I met him through Reno, that man can drink, I'll tell you that much."

"What is it?"

"What?"

"What is Tseng's number?" Genesis took the younger male by the shoulders and shook him, "He changed it on me! I haven't been able to find the new one!"

"Stop shaking my Puppy," Angeal said gruffly and pulled the redhead off a rather disoriented Zack.

"Then make him give me that damn number!" Genesis tried to escape his friend to grasp Zack again.

"It's the same number," Zack said, "He just has you blocked by using some sort of program developed by the Turks."

"Damn it," Genesis snarled and wrenched himself free of Angeal to stalk out of the office.

Sephiroth watched the redhead leave before turning to the two raven haired men. "Now if you don't mind," the silver haired man said, "I have work to do…LEAVE!"

XxXx

Reno lounged at Tseng's desk, his feet up on the expensive wood, his butt in the soft leather chair. "Hey there Pony Boy," the redhead chirped when his superior opened the office door and walked in.

"…did you seriously just call me that?" Tseng asked, stopping in the doorway.

"Fitting isn't it?" Reno smirked.

"I will shove your own EMR so far up your ass it starts to come out your mouth then turn it on full blast if you ever call me that again," the black haired Turk said calmly.

"Noted yo," the redhead nodded.

"Good, get your feet off my desk."

"You're no fun yo," Reno whined, but removed his feet anyway.

"What are you doing here anyway Reno?" Tseng sighed as he shooed the redhead out of his chair.

"Just come to find out if you caught the guy throwing shit at my window," Reno said as he moved to idly pick up a file sitting on the desk, "Make sure Baby can sleep tonight yo."

"Baby? I thought Cloud had threatened to castrate you if you called him that."

"He did, but he ain't here yo," Reno smirked slightly, "And don't you go telling him that I called him that. Little blond can be abusive yo."

"Then why are you with him?"

"Gaia that boy can fuck," Reno said dreamily, "And I love him."

"Lovely," Tseng made a face as he imagined the pair together, "I think the better question would be why is he with you?"

"That is a mystery my man," Reno said as he hopped up to sit on the edge of the desk, "So…was it General Pissy Pants or what?"

"Yes," Tseng said as he pushed the redhead off his desk, "It was General Sephiroth. I just came from his office and he shouldn't be doing that again."

"Ooh," Reno squealed, "What you do to make him stop yo?"

"Threatened to leak a tape of him walking around in his underwear to the press."

"The one at the Christmas party?"

"That would be the one," Tseng confirmed with a sigh as Reno hopped up to sit on the desk once again, "Will you get off my desk?"

"Your desk is comfy," Reno shrugged. The redhead squeaked and jumped off the desk as his superior swung his EMR at him. "So violent yo!" Reno grumbled, "Did you run into Genesis or something?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to leave you alone now," the redhead said as he headed towards the office door, "Get some paper work done or something."

"You do that," Tseng said as Reno exited.

The redhead wandered through the Turk offices aimlessly, he wasn't about to actually do any paperwork, he had already made sure to push it off on Rude. "Heeeey Ruuuuuddeee!" Reno called as he walked into his shared office, "What'cha doing?"

"Your paperwork," the dark Turk said numbly.

"That's no fun yo," Reno smirked as he hopped up to sit on the bald Turk's desk, "Let's do something entertaining."

The blank stare of reflective sunglasses met the redhead's remark.

"Oh don't be that way," Reno waved his hand dismissively, "Entertain me yo."

Rude just sighed.

"Fine, I'll go entertain myself. Ooh! I'm going to blow something up!"

"I'm coming," Rude muttered.

Reno bounced slightly in response, rather giddy with the fact that he had managed to distract his partner again. He'd get his paperwork done later, or more accurately he'd get Cloud to do it for him. The blond was well versed in Turk language and procedure thanks to Reno's lazy streak. Leading the way, the redhead walked out of the office with Rude trailing slowly behind. As soon as he was out of the actual office the door slammed shut and there was a distinct click of a lock. "No fair yo!" Reno yelled, "I thought we were going to blow shit up!"

"Did wittle Weno get locked out?" a voice asked.

"Yes Cissnei, I got locked out, go away," the redhead sighed.

"I thought you wanted to blow shit up," the female Turk said lightly, "I just so happen to have some explosives."

"You are my new god!" Reno exclaimed and proceeded to tackle her, "Let's do this!"

"You have to get off of me first…"the brunette groaned. (1)

"Oh, sorry yo."

Reno pulled himself off the wavy haired woman and followed her down the hall, bouncing slightly as he walked. "Will you stop that?" Cissnei asked.

"Nope," Reno said cheerfully.

"I will hog all the explosives to myself!"

"I'll be good yo, don't go and do something crazy now." Seemingly satisfied that Reno was going to behave himself, Cissnei continued down the hallway. The redhead had to keep reminding himself to remain calm, he loved explosives, his apartment could attest to that. Finally they made it out of the building and headed for an empty training field, one that cadets used for laps. Half way across the field Reno stopped dead, his eyes trained on a figure standing in one of the other fields.

"What is it now?" Cissnei asked before her eyes settled on the figure as well.

Golden hair gleaming in the sun, Cloud was slowly going through sword exercises, his large broad sword moving in a deliberate arch as he took his stance. "He's so pretty," Reno cooed.

"You are such a girl," Cissnei muttered.

"What? He is yo!"

"No need to get defensive, no one is saying Cloud isn't the finest piece of man meat in SOLDIER," Cissnei laughed slightly.

Reno gave her a look that could peal paint and turned his attention back to Cloud. The third class SOLDIER had moved past the slow forms and had picked up considerable speed, the broad sword slicing through the air with deadly accuracy, cutting down invisible enemies. There was something almost ethereal about the blonde's movements, something amazingly beautiful. Reno was fairly aware that he was probably drooling as he watched his boyfriend (2) move through his stances. "Stop staring Reno!" Cloud suddenly yelled, "I need to concentrate."

"Oh god," Reno groaned, "You just made me lose the perverted game (3)."

Cloud stopped his form and looked over at the redhead. "You lose the perverted game when you look at the wall."

"True…"

"What's the perverted game?" Cissnei asked innocently.

"It's something Zack and I came up with," Reno said happily, "Every time you think of something perverted you lose."

"How did you lose by looking at a wall?" the female Turk asked incredulously.

"…you don't want to know yo," Reno's voice was dead serious.

"You don't," Cloud said as he walked up to the pair of Turks, "Trust me, I had to suffer the consequences of asking."

"Oh now I have to know," Cissnei said, a glint in her eyes.

"Well…" Reno smirked, "It involves me, Cloud, the wall, and no clothes. We are so doing that again yo."

"…" Cissnei stared at the redhead as he advanced on the blond.

"Reno…wait," Cloud backed up a little.

"No way yo," the redhead practically purred, "You're my bitch (4) and I want some."

"I know…NAKED RUFUS!" Cloud yelled.

"…ew…not cool yo," Reno stopped his advance, "He's practically my brother, I don't need to imagine him naked."

"Mm," Cissnei smiled slightly.

"Oh great," the redhead threw a hand up, "Now you've got her thinking about naked Rufus…ew, thought about it again."

"Though wait a minute," the female Turk seemed to have snapped herself out of whatever day dream she had been residing in, "Did you just call Cloud your bitch? And Cloud, did you not care?"

"He did," the blond said lightly, "And yes, I don't care. It's better than the alternative, trust me."

"What's the alternative?"

"Fucking hot piece of fuck meat," the redhead chirped.

"See," Cloud smirked, "Bitch is better, besides, he's my bitch too."

"Oh, so you're not just on bottom," Cissnei seemed to make a mental note.

"Nope, we trade off," the blond smiled, "And tonight your ass is mine." The statement was punctuated with a rather sharp pinch to Reno's butt.

"Hey! Not so hard yo!" the redhead complained.

"But I thought you liked it rough," Cloud whispered into Reno's ear and the redhead's pupils dilated slightly.

"Don't need to know this," Cissnei muttered.

"So," Cloud said cheerfully, "What are you two doing out here?"

"I'm going to rape your bitch," Cissnei said just as cheerfully.

"Explosives then?"

"Yeah."

"How is it that you two are so in sync?" Reno asked suddenly, "Is there something going on I need to know about yo?"

"Whatever do you mean?" the brunette asked with wide eyes.

"Yes Reno," Cloud blinked innocently, "What are you implying?"

"I think he's found out about our secret evil pact," Cissnei gasped, "The one where we go out and get drunk and finish each other's sentences."

"Oh no!" the blond said in mock horror, "Whatever shall we do now?"

"You two are fucking hilarious," Reno grumbled.

"Yeah, yeah," Cloud waved a hand dismissively, "Go blow stuff up, I need to head in for a lab appointment."

"What for?" Reno asked, concern filling his voice.

"Just a mako injection, nothing serious. I'll see you at home tonight, okay?" Cloud kissed the redhead on the cheek and headed back towards the tower.

Making his way through the lobby, the blond walked up to one of the elevators and waited patiently for it to arrive. "Good day Strife," a powerful voice said from behind him.

Taking on a respectful posture, the blond turned to face the General. "Good day sir," Cloud said, "How are you today General?"

"I'm quite well, thank you Cloud," Sephiroth smiled slightly, "You know you don't have to be so formal, we do know each other."

"Sir," the blond fidgeted slightly, "Has Za- Lieutenant Fair, been trying to get you to drop military procedure around me again?"

Chuckling a little, the silver haired man shook his head, smirking inwardly when he saw the fascinated look in Cloud's eyes as his hair swung around his face. "No Cloud, Zack has not. I simply felt that perhaps we could be friends instead of acquaintances through Zack."

"I would like that sir," the blond smiled, "But I believe that people would disapprove of me not having proper military respect for my superiors in public. Perhaps sometime we could meet up, as friends."

"That sounds good," the General said calmly, inwardly doing a victory dance, "So where are you headed to?"

"Labs sir," Cloud sighed, "Have to get my mako injection."

"What a coincidence," the silver haired man frowned, "I was just heading there myself."

The elevator arrived and the pair climbed in. Sephiroth desperately tried to think of something to say, yet nothing came to mind. Casting a look at the blond next to him, Sephiroth let his eyes take in the beauty. Cloud was staring at the numbers above the door, watching them light up as they passed each floor. He was unconsciously chewing on his lower lip in a way that made the General just want to reach out and run his finger along it. But he knew better than to do that, Cloud had only just agreed to attempt a friendship after all. All too soon the elevator door opened and the blond walked out, Sephiroth trailing behind him. As soon as they entered the lab the General was shepherded away from Cloud to a private exam room for a series of shots. After having some blood drawn the silver haired man left and spotted the third class SOLDIER sitting on one of the many beds lining the wall as he waited for his injection. That in itself was hardly out of the ordinary, what caught Sephiroth's attention was that Hojo was standing next to the blond with a syringe.

Scowling heavily, Sephiroth made his way over to Cloud who was nodding to the professor slightly. Coming up behind the small blond Sephiroth saw a needle with the wrong color mako plunge into Cloud's arm. "What did you just give my SOLDIER?" the General asked coldly.

"Oh Sephiroth," Hojo said happily, "Good to see you. I have a few experiments I want you to-"

"Answer me," the silver haired man snapped.

"Sir," Cloud said meekly, "It's nothing important."

"I'll be the judge of that."

"Nice to know that you care about your underlings," Hojo sneered, "But as Sky-"

"Cloud," the blond interrupted.

"Cloud here has pointed out, it's nothing important. Just a new mako blend to help with nausea that Sky-"

"Cloud," the SOLDIER sighed.

"Cloud has agreed to help test out (5). Don't worry your pretty little head Sephiroth," Hojo waved a hand dismissively, "Now about those experiments I want to do."

"I'm leaving," Sephiroth said shortly, "Strife, come with me if you're not feeling too bad."

"I feel fine sir," the blond said as he stood. The blond swayed slightly then giggled, "I feel funny actually."

"Ooh," Hojo seemed rather pleased, "Describe it."

"There are pretty lights everywhere. And I smell pasta. I'm going to go make some spaghetti."

Cloud started to stumble out of the lab and Sephiroth quickly caught him by the arm. "Cloud you are in no condition to be walking around thanks to our resident psycho…doctor. I'm taking you to your apartment," the silver haired man said.

"If you have any odd side effects tell me!" Hojo yelled after them.

Out in the hallway Cloud lost his footing completely, collapsing into Sephiroth and giggling insanely. "Cloud," Sephiroth sighed.

"Yeeeeeeeaaaah," the blond said slowly.

"Give me your phone."

"Okies," the blond chirped and handed the device over before becoming fascinated with Sephiroth's hair.

Ignoring the small blond who had started to braid his silver locks, Sephiroth went through Cloud's contact list. Finding the number he needed, the General dialed. "Reno's sex line, how may I abuse you?" a voice purred.

"I did not need to know that was how you answered your phone…" Sephiroth muttered.

"Why do you have Cloud's phone?" Reno snapped, "I know it was you who threw all that food last night. You better not be molesting my man!"

"Calm down Reno I'm simply calling to inform you that-OW!" Sephiroth whipped his head down to stare at the blond who had bitten his leg, "You bit me!"

"Wait yo," Reno said as Cloud blinked innocently at Sephiroth, "Someone bit you?"

"Yes," the General snapped, "Cloud bit me. He is currently under the influence of some experimental drug Hojo gave him and you need to go to your apartment to watch him once I drop him off. No! Do not bi-OW DAMN IT!"

"Way to go Cloud," Reno snickered.

"I'm going to tell you this once," the silver haired man whispered as Cloud turned his attention to the buttons on his uniform, "If you so much as tell anyone that I allowed someone to bite me and live I will fuck Cloud so hard and thoroughly that he never even looks at you again. You hear me?"

"Touch him and I will shave your head bald! Then turn you over for rape!"

"I'm not an idiot!" Sephiroth snarled, "I would never take advantage of someone in such a state; that would be low even for a Turk-OW! Did you just kick me?"

"No making fun of Turks," Cloud pouted as Sephiroth started to pull him down the hall towards the elevators, "They are hung like you wouldn't believe."

"You tell him Cloud," Sephiroth could hear Reno's smirk, "No one belittles a Turk yo, angry blondes kick them."

"Oh for the love of," Sephiroth sighed, "Look, just get to your home or send someone who can watch Cloud. I have meetings to go to."

"I'll be there in a few minutes yo, no groping my bitch!"

"…why does he put up with you?"

"Because I'm hung like a horse."

"…" Sephiroth hung up and passed the phone back to Cloud who seemed fascinated by the device, turning it over in his hands repeatedly and grinning widely.

A few minutes later found Sephiroth walking down a hallway with Cloud physically thrown over his shoulder and a head full of small braids. "Oh Gaia," a voice snickered, "I wish I had a camera yo."

"If you took a picture I'd kill you in the most horrific way I could think of," Sephiroth snarled, "Now take your high boyfriend and let me go try to regain my dignity."

"REEEENOOOOO!" Cloud squealed once he was put down, "I can smell colors!"

"…good for you yo," Reno looked taken aback by that as he led the blond into the apartment, shutting the door in Sephiroth's face. With a sigh the silver haired man headed off to his own apartment, he didn't have any meetings and sure as hell didn't trust that redhead to take care of Cloud properly.

XxXx

Sephiroth sat in his armchair, emerald eyes trained out his window and into Cloud and Reno's bedroom. He couldn't believe that little shit of a redhead, clearly taking advantage of Cloud's confused state. Sure, it was the blond who seemed to be dominating the redhead, but that was hardly the point. With a sigh Sephiroth ran a hand over his face. This was getting him nowhere, it wasn't even like Cloud and the bastard were having sex. If anything it looked like Cloud was tickling the redhead into a fit. That didn't negate the fact that Reno wasn't doing anything to calm the blonde's inebriated state. The silver haired man was seriously considering grabbing something to throw at the window and break the pair apart when a knock on his apartment door broke Sephiroth out of his thoughts.

Sighing heavily, the General made his way over to the door. "What are you doing here?" he growled as he stared at the group collected outside his apartment.

"Just making sure you aren't doing anything you shouldn't," Zack said as he pushed his way past the silver haired man, Angeal and Genesis slipping in behind him.

"And watching you squirm," Genesis smirked, "Got anything to eat?"

"Not for you," Sephiroth muttered as he slammed the apartment door closed.

"Why are all the lights out?" Angeal asked in his low rumble.

"No reason…" the silver haired man said in what he hoped was an airy manner.

"You're spying again aren't you?" Zack pointed an accusing finger at the General and flipped the light switch, "Hey, you can see right into Cloud's apartment."

"Really?" Genesis called from the kitchen, reemerging a moment later with a bottle of beer.

"Yeah look there's Cloud and Reno and they're…oh my," Zack stared out the window, his jaw hanging open.

"What are they doing?" the redheaded SOLDIER asked.

"I'm not sure…but Cloud has Reno pinned down."

"Puppy, I don't want you watching what I think you're watching," Angeal moved to grab the younger male.

"Oh they're not fucking," Zack waved a hand in dismissal, "Their clothes are still on…never mind there goes Reno's shirt. But I think Cloud's tickling Reno."

"No he's not," Genesis said as he opened the beer, "He's biting him. Look."

"He's what?" Sephiroth said angrily, making his way over to the window. Sure enough Cloud had Reno pinned to the bed and seemed to be biting the redhead's neck, not that Reno seemed to be complaining. As the group watched both men in the opposite tower shed their clothing and proceeded to grope Sephiroth into a rage. "He's taking advantage of Cloud!" the silver haired man yelled.

"I think Cloud's the one taking advantage over there," Zack commented, "Whoa! Didn't know Reno was packing quite that much."

"Cloud's under the influence of some weird drug right now!" Sephiroth protested, "Hojo injected him with something earlier today."

"Wait," Angeal turned away from the scene unfolding in the other apartment, "Hojo's experimenting on our SOLDIERS and you didn't stop it?"

"Well…Cloud agreed to it…but that's not the point!"

"If he agreed to be experimented on and his boyfriend is allowing him to…well do that, then there is no case here. Just leave them alone Seph, it'll do you more good than obsessing over them."

"Dear god that blond can go…" Genesis said as he stared at Cloud and Reno, "Zack, give me your phone."

"Why do I want to cry?" Zack said as he stared at his friend molest Reno, handing over his phone without any real thought.

"It's okay Puppy," Angeal cooed and lead the traumatized looking SOLDIER away from the window.

"Hello Tseng!" Genesis' voice caught the group's attention, "What are you wearing?"

"…how did you get through?" Tseng's voice answered thanks to the fact that Genesis had the device on speaker phone.

"What are you wearing?"

"Stop it."

"Ooh kinky," Genesis purred. A soft click followed his statement. "Tseng? Baby?" Genesis pouted, "I love you."

"He hung up dude," Zack said.

"Oh go watch your friends have sex," the redhead growled, "Seph, I'm taking you to a strip club to find you a nice slutty stripper to replace this blond."

"Noooo!" Sephiroth wailed as he was dragged out of his own apartment.

"Well that sounds like fun," Zack said lightly before glancing out the window, "I'm going to be sick."

Angeal allowed his gaze to follow the younger male's and cringed at what Cloud was doing to Reno. "Come on Puppy, let's go get something to eat...away from this...perversion."

"Can I have a popsicle?" Zack chirped.

Angeal went very still. "...okay, we'll get you a...popsicle..."

1. I'm color blind and have no clue whether Cissnei is a brunette or a redhead. I went with brunette because that's what it looks like to me. Don't yell at me for that.

2. I hate the word lover; it seriously makes me cringe whenever I have to use it. So, despite the fact that I don't like boyfriend all that much either, I'm using it here. I just can't come up with a word to describe relationships that I don't find distasteful. Suggestions would be very helpful here.

3. Kiba and Wolf taught me this one…yeah, I lost to the wall. It was a damn sexy wall though. What?

4. Blame Wolf…we talked it over and decided that's what Reno would call Cloud.

5. Or is it? Mwahahaha…it is…OR IS IT? –Coughs- Um…this little section is a direct reference to how I've been acting lately thanks to pain killers.