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Money, Honey	By : KitsuneArasi Category: Final Fantasy Games > Final Fantasy XII Views: 1130 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own FFXII. I'm not making money off of this story. Someone hug me, please.

Chapter List
- 1-Money, Honey
- 2-Crack Open Your Gorgeous Face
- 1
- 2
Author's Note: Finished at 2:45 A.M. Still have not finished my assignments. Eyes are burning. Anyway, I do hope you enjoy this. I know it's been quite a long time since I posted this story, but I couldn't quite work out how to get it where I wanted it to go. I finally snapped myself into activity this evening. As a result, this chapter may become...a bit heavier than you may expect. Still, it will brighten up. Don't worry. :)
Money Honey
-
Part Two:
Crack Open Your Gorgeous Face
-

Penelo, as the idiot boy had called her, was actually quite pretty, in a quaint sense. She was the kind of girl Balthier would take home to meet his mother so she wouldn't see the sort of people he had actually been fucking. ...Provided his mother hadn't left, and his father weren't an outright sociopath.
He was finally able to see her after she brought him back some pills and applied a wet compress to his head wound.
Finally! Medical attention!
He longed to bite out something scathingly witty, but the situation was beginning to dawn on him even more painfully than the migraine.
While both of the captors he'd encountered so far seemed to be fairly harmless, there had to be some mastermind behind this little venture.
While the boy�Vaan�had offered to hit him earlier, he doubted the kid had actually been the one to bludgeon him in the first place.
�So...your boss-�
�My boss?� Penelo looked confused, �What boss?�
Balthier let out a frustrated sigh, �Who wanged me, then?�
He was making an effort to be polite, he really was.
The girl, for all of her filthy kidnapping ways, was actually being quite helpful in soothing Balthier's raging brain blister.
�You mean Basch. He's really sorry about the migraine, you know? He tries not to do too much damage...�
�He has practice?�
�Well, you're not the first person we've...�
�Wrenched brutally from their happy lives?� He drawled.
�Oh, shut up. It isn't that bad.�
�Penelo�it is Penelo, yes?�You're kidnapping people. What part of that 'isn't that bad'?�
�Well, you're not chained to a wall, we're tending your injuries instead of letting them get all pus-y and infected, and Basch hasn't gotten out the thumb screws yet.�
Balthier tasted acid.
�Whoa! Easy, easy, I'm only teasing.�
�I've had quite enough of that, if you don't mind. I'd rather not add a coronary to my list of concerns right now.�
�I'm sorry, Balthier. It's just so hard not to tease you when you get so flustered. It's usually Vaan that gets the worst of it.� She smiled, �We won't hurt you. That's a promise.�
A snort came from the direction of what Balthier assumed was the entryway, �I wouldn't promise that. Ashe is throwing a royal bitch-fit.�
Penelo groaned, �Vaan, we talked about this! What did you say to her this time?�
�Nothing. I just mentioned we had Ffa�Balthier, and she freaked. Started screaming all sorts of nasty stuff.�
A loud, shrieking sound filtered in from somewhere beyond the door, and Vaan shuffled into Balthier's line of sight, making a face.
Penelo paled a bit, �She's...really upset, isn't she?�
�I wouldn't know. It's not like she's ever happy to see me.� Vaan shrugged, and Penelo crossed her arms, �What? She's not!�
�But she still won't hurt�augh!� Penelo stormed out of the room as another shriek pierced the air, followed by a crashing noise.
Vaan turned his attention to Balthier, holding his pose, but allowing his eyes to slide ever-so-slowly to the side.
Balthier arched a brow.
�Quite the ladies' man, aren't you?�
�Shut up.�
�I'd say he has a point, Vaan. You do have a tendency to set Ashe screaming. 'Balthier', is it? I'm truly sorry for your pain, but we didn't have many alternatives.�
Balthier's eyes narrowed, �I take it you're the boss. 'Basch', wasn't it? How appropriate.�
A heavy, long-suffering sigh drifted to his ear as a tall, broad-shouldered man with muscles that did not quite match up with his careful enunciation stepped into his line of sight, standing close enough to Vaan to suggest some form of unspoken support. �Again, I am terribly sorry for your pains, but the blow was necessary. We could think of no other way to bring you here peacefully.�
�You'd think that would tell you something.� Balthier bit, nearly venomous. 'Peacefully'. These people had cold-cocked him from behind and tied him to a chair in some Shiva-damned* rathole for no valid reason Balthier could discern, because they could think of no other 'peaceful' option.
A small shred of morbid curiosity wondered, however briefly, what struck these people as 'violent'.
Vaan stiffened up, a hint of malice in his expression as he took a step toward Balthier, �Ease up, Ffamran. He said he was sorry, already.�
�My heart weeps for his internal struggle. Yea and verily, I repent my wicked words.� Balthier drawled in a near-monotone, eyes not leaving those pretty-boy blues until he was certain that the blonde understood his sarcasm.
Sarcasm.
S...a...r...c...a...s...m.
Vaan made a frustrated growling noise and made to take another step, but a solid hand on his shoulder stopped him short, �Be easy, Vaan. Penelo said that you were getting along so well with him, earlier.�
Balthier arched a brow, refusing to give them the pleasure of an outright, 'What sort of happy powder have you been sprinkling in your water supply?' expression. Which was ironic, really, considering the likelihood that the good Dr. Cid had most likely already taken to dumping things in there.
He refused to think of it.
The very subject was enough to drive him to drink.
...Then again, most things were. He did have such a love for alcohol.
He gathered himself quickly, watching blankly as Vaan bit his lip�an action that decidedly did not arouse his attentions�and scuffed his boot against the floor before looking away from his apparent superior, cheeks a charming shade of red.
�...He called me stupid.�
Basch chuckled, a warm and undeniably pleasant sound, and ran his fingers through the boy's soft-looking blonde hair, over and down the back of his neck, and finally letting his hand rest on Vaan's lower back, �Is that all?�
�Yeah. That's it.� Balthier watched carefully as the boy's eyes slid back to his boss, his breathing notably different after the delicate contact, �...just pisses me off, that's all.�
Another shrill scream split the air, but neither of his captors seemed particularly surprised. Basch let out another sigh, his face relaxing into a weary expression. He seemed, in that moment, almost like an old dog, attempting with half a heart to find some warm place to rest, just for a moment, before the children came to jump on him and tie his ears again.
A second mating shriek from the enigmatic Ashe-bird and Basch applied a light pressure to the boy's back, urging him on to noisier pastures, �I'd like a moment to speak with our guest. If you could help Penelo calm her, perhaps...?�
Or you could just slip her a Valium. Balthier's mind offered blackly, Maybe four. Sounds to me like a four Valium kind of girl.
Vaan left after a brief groan of self-sacrificing misery, making quick time to join his friend in fighting off the raging Ashe-beast.
As soon as the door shut behind Vaan, the world seemed to narrow. Basch turned his focus back to the rather harassed-looking Bunansa, taking a moment to look him over.
�You're an idiot if you believe that's what was bothering him.�
His only answer was a strange, enigmatic little smile and a vague 'hm'ing noise.
�And you brought me here because?�
�That's a bit of a long story. Truly, I would like to tell it with you in better shape to hear, but it seems that wouldn't be very fair, would it?�
Oh, only about as fair as shanghai-ing someone in the midst of an otherwise promising evening, tying them up with the precision of a boyscout from hell, and subjecting him to a parade of sunny, cheerful teenagers with the apparent career designation of 'walking heart attack'.
And, apparently, a harpy.
Outside of his morbid little mind, Balthier merely pursed his lip, �Sources say no.�
Sources would also like to file a lawsuit, but that was another matter.
�We weren't quite certain that we should...'retrieve' you, as yet, but Larsa suggested that it may do our cause some good to speak with you. Ah. That's not to say the boy deserves any blame. I accept full responsibility for my �.�
Wait.
Wait.
Larsa?
Larsa � fucking � Solidor?!
Basch blinked, somewhat put off, �The same. You remember him, I trust.�
Apparently, he'd said that bit aloud.
And of course he remembered Larsa Solidor.
Draklor Laboratories�the horrid little association of research facilities and companies under his father's banner that rendered Balthier both obscenely rich and utterly disgusted with his own given name�maintained close and�he shuddered to think�'intimate' ties with Solidor Legacy, Inc.
In short, the company previously run by Larsa's father.
Recently, the boy's older brother, Vayne, had taken over their father's vast corporate enterprise after the unfortunate 'accident' that left their beloved guardian dead and the board members nodding dumbly at Vayne's every word.
Good little dogs, they were.
But...it was strange.
The boy had always been mild-mannered. A quiet, intellectual sort he was; he always seemed the sort best suited to run a company and run it well, carefully considering the good of all parties affected by the decisions of such looming, corporate giants.
Damn behemoths, the lot of them, ready and waiting to swallow up any human being stupid enough to stand in the path of choking smog and the sickening smell of freshly-minted money.
And Larsa...
How would this lot of half-baked, kidnapping thugs have come into contact with him?
Moreover, why on Earth would he suggest that they venture to drop Balthier in the midst of this horrid little freakshow?
The boy was such a gentle soul...now that he thought of it, Balthier felt himself grow a bit more concerned for the young Solidor than himself.
There had been no indication...
No news that the younger Solidor sibling had disappeared.
For all intents and purposes, Larsa may well have ceased to exist.
Business had continued as usual.
Vayne had made the usual arrogant speeches and dropped the occasional 'greater good' in his press conferences, but never a single 'Larsa'.
'How are my stocks?'
trumped
'Where is my brother?!'

And not a soul had noticed.

Never got the green, green paper, this is what you'll find.
Crack open your gorgeous face, I'll show you what's inside.
Count the bottles on the wall-
before I break them all.
'Cause you've drank enough-
You've drank enough.
(eNd cHapter)
Bonus Fun Stuff:
Musical credit for this chapter goes to Semi-Precious Weapons for �Crack Open Your Gorgeous Face�. A few other songs on the soundtrack I've compiled (pssst, see below) influenced this, but this is the one that carries best.
- (*) Balthier addresses Shiva here because I attempted to decipher the information on Ivalician gods and still could not figure out which proper bleeding name should be used. So congratulations, the pretty, old-fashioned summons get some homage. Because I love them, and you can't make me translate all of that migraine-inducing divine political mumbo jumbo that makes up the spirituality of Ivalice. -.-
- Oh, look. Bullet points. How lovely. Anyway, I have now stayed up until 3:21 compiling a complete soundtrack for this story, along with bonus character, location, and relationship themes. Can we say overkill?
- There won't be lyrics sung in each chapter, as you can see. And some chapters may have more than one song, because I'm attached to the muuuusic.
- Feed the author fanart and she will have your imaginary babies. I don't care if I have to artswap until I'm old, I want to see illustrations for this thing.
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Money, Honey