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Let Him In	By : GodOfInsanity Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Cloud/Sephiroth Views: 2233 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 3
Disclaimer: I do not own Square Enix’s Final Fantasy 7 or its characters. Nor do I own Morrissey’s passage, either. I do not profit from any of it. I just had an itch to write this, so I did.

Chapter List
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Let Him In

Chapter warning(s): Language, Angst, Hallucinations, Naked Sephiroth

“The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.”-Marcus Tullius Cicero

[:+ + + + +:]

CH01: Resurrection
Cloud was stunned. He was too shocked and at a loss for words to even speak. The usual feeling of hate and despair associated with this man failed to make its appearance.
Sephiroth was kneeling in front of him and touching him. And smiling like a friendly loon.
He should be angry, but he wasn’t. He should slap away the madman’s hand, but he didn’t. He just sat there and gaped at the bigger man until a flash of red in his peripheral vision caught his attention.
It was then that the second person strode into the blond’s full view. He was a familiar looking redhead clad in red and black leather. In his right hand he lovingly cradled a book called LOVELESS. Unlike Sephiroth, he did not kneel. Instead, he looked down at the blond with a smile that seemed to mirror Sephiroth’s in the way of friendliness. Something about his smile was uncharacteristic for him, too. It seemed so familiar, though.
Sephiroth and Genesis…? Weren’t they supposed to be dead? Did that mean that he was dead, too? Were they all in the Lifestream now? That seemed like such a contradiction to him and it made absolutely no sense. Aha! He got it now. He was dreaming! He must be dreaming. There was no way that this could possibly be real. But why would he dream of such a thing? Especially when all his dreams were usually horrific nightmares that woke him up in cold sweats…
“It’s been a long time, Spike,” warmly spoke Genesis, whose gentle words interrupted Cloud from his barrage of diverging thoughts.
Cloud finally found his voice so he hissed, “Don’t touch me!” before he shoved Sephiroth’s hand away. Next he stumbled up onto his feet and then backed away while taking his old defensive stance. His hand impulsively reached towards his back but it was met only by air. First Tsurugi wasn’t there.
Sephiroth frowned and slowly rose up to his full towering height. He glanced at Genesis as if waiting for an answer from a silent question. He didn’t say anything. The green-eyed man just stood there looking so innocent, so pure, and so good.
The redhead rose his hands up in a passive, non-threatening way to placate Cloud as he said urgently, “Calm down, Spikey!”
“Why do you keep calling me that? What’s going on and why is He here?” Cloud questioned hotly with a jerk of his chin at the silver-haired Ex-General while he kept his gaze coolly trained on Genesis. His blue eyes hardened as all the negative feelings slammed into him like a rampaging beast.
Genesis looked genuinely stupefied for a few moments as if he himself did not know the answers. He seemed to figure something out, though. The red-haired man approached Cloud and laid a reassuring hand on the blond’s shoulder. “Who do you think I am? And who do you think…He is?”
“Is this supposed to be a joke? You’re Genesis and he’s…Sephiroth,” spat Cloud as he shot a less than friendly look at the ex-General. Normally he would have shaken off Genesis’ hand, but this time around he did not. There was something familiar about it and he couldn’t place what it was.
The redhead laughed and then slapped Cloud on the back. “Oh, Spikey…”
Sephiroth seemed relieved then, but not at all surprised. He smiled and nodded to Genesis as if encouraging him to do or say something specific.
Genesis laid a comforting hand on Cloud’s shoulder and explained, “You’re hallucinating, Spike. I’m not Genesis and she is definitely not Sephiroth.”
Cloud blinked. He blinked again and then slowly turned his head to look at Sephiroth to find that the insane man had vanished. In his stead stood someone he had not seen in longer than he could fathom.
Aerith.
The blond man looked back to Genesis only to find Zack standing there with his hand still resting on his shoulder. He didn’t know what to say. Old feelings resurfaced in such a powerful way that he felt himself stumble back from the sheer force of it. Zack’s other hand had swiftly reached out in time to catch him, which prevented him from falling on his ass.
Zack smiled and his hands dropped from Cloud’s shoulders. “It’s ok, Spike. You’re not hallucinating now. It’s not a dream. It’s real…well, real enough. We’re still dead, but this is really us. You’re not crazy.”
The Cetra walked over to her blond friend and gently laid a hand on his shoulder. In a patient voice, she urged, “Cloud, we don’t have much time with you.”
“Why? What’s going on?” Asked Cloud as he glanced between them with a puzzled look. All negative feelings had been wiped clean of him. He was no longer angry or hateful. A familiar warmth spread over him to the point that he felt giddy and light. He felt…happy.
The dark-haired Ex-SOLDIER looked solemn now as the smile died on his face; however, there was a certain determined gleam in his blue eyes that Cloud had missed seeing. “The planet needs your help again, Spikey.”
“Sephiroth isn’t dead?”
“Uh, well, not exactly. Right now he’s neither dead nor alive. He’s in-between both. I guess you could say he’s in limbo?”
“Sephiroth isn’t the problem, Cloud,” Aerith started and then paused to let Cloud absorb that statement. She knew he would object as soon as the words had come out of your mouth.
Fueled by anger and confusion, Cloud instantly protested, “You’re kidding, right? Last time I checked he-“
“-I know, Spike, I know. He destroyed Nibelheim and killed a lot of people. He went mad. He was Jenova’s puppet. We know. But that doesn’t change the fact that, well, Aerith, you explain it,” interrupted Zack, who in turn looked to the Cetra woman and waited for her to speak.
Aerith smiled gently and regarded Cloud with her soft, kind eyes. “To save the planet from destruction, we need you…and Sephiroth. You can’t do it alone and your comrades are not enough, I’m afraid.”
“I don’t understand,” deadpanned Cloud. And he didn’t. He didn’t understand why they needed a homicidal lunatic’s help.
Zack sighed, “You need to get to Sephiroth before they do, Spikey. If you don’t, it will be too late.”
“So I’m supposed to find him and then do what? Hide his body? Shoot him off into space? Dump him in another reactor?” Inquired Cloud humorlessly.
It was Aerith’s turn to sigh. “Cloud…I know you are still angry. You still hurt and you haven’t forgiven anyone, least of all yourself. You need to look past it all and put it in the past. The future is what matters now and if you don’t get over the past then there will be no future for you or anyone else.”
“What exactly are you saying?” The blond asked slowly as if he wasn’t certain he wanted to hear the answer.
Aerith loosely clasped her hands together as she enlightened, “You need to forgive Sephiroth and forgive yourself. We need him, you need him, and the world needs him. Believe me when I tell you that it will work out for the best. I believe in you, Cloud. We both do. You won’t fail.”
The blond shook his head vigorously. “I…can’t. It’s been a decade and I still can’t. He still haunts me, and it all still haunts me. I can’t just let it all go like that.”
“Spike, she’s right. It may seem impossible now, but it is for the best. It’s the only way.”
“How can you both say that? Aerith, he killed you in cold blood and he nearly killed you, Zack. I can’t forgive him for that.”
“I have already forgiven him, Cloud,” divulged the Cetra woman in a calm sort of voice. Even though she was worried about the welfare of the planet, she looked to be at peace.
Zack nodded and replied placidly, “So have I.”
“He’s a monster.”
The dark-haired man sighed again and smiled wryly. “He was my best friend, Cloud. I was his friend. Angeal and Genesis were also his friends. He didn’t have a lot of friends, but he was ok with that. He had the three of us…and you. It wasn’t enough, though. In spite of everything he went through since birth, he was human. In a lot of ways, you always reminded me of Sephiroth. I considered you both my best friends.”
“…” That had always been something that had troubled Cloud. He knew he was similar to Sephiroth and that was something that had always been exceedingly hard to accept. Because of their similarities, there had been times Cloud had doubted himself and feared that he, too, would descend into madness.
“The timing was bad, I think. I still believe that if Seph had met you sooner…that he would not have gone crazy like he did. If he had had you, he would have fought it. He would not have succumbed so easily to Jenova.”
Cloud looked up at Zack and raised an eyebrow incredulously. He said nothing. He didn’t need to, though. His eyes spoke volumes for him.
“I’m not saying what happened was your fault. It wasn’t. I know you blame yourself, but you shouldn’t. We don’t blame you, Spike.”
As if to further cement that truth, Aerith added, "I never blamed you. Not once. You came for me...that's all that matters."
“…” The blond cast his eyes down to the ground and stared at it with unfocused eyes.
“We can’t tell you everything right now, Cloud. It’s about time for us to go. We don’t have much longer,” the Cetra informed sadly.
At hearing that, Cloud ripped his eyes from the ground and stared at them both. “Wait, what am I supposed to do?”
“Find Sephiroth,” answered Aerith as she moved closer to the blond. She encircled her arms around him and embraced him fully. She rested her head underneath his chin and remained motionless as she hugged him.
Like the puppy he was, Zack couldn’t resist pulling them both in his arms in a tight, but painless hug. He also couldn’t help ruffling Cloud’s spiky locks.
The blond tolerated it for a bit, but soon enough he wriggled out of the embrace even though he truly wanted to stay like that. A million questions burned in his head and he needed them answered. “How? I don’t even know where he is…”
Aerith seemingly pulled out an emerald green Materia from out of nowhere. She extended her arm for him to take it. “Take this. It will lead you to him.”
Cloud gingerly took the Materia from her and held it gently in his hand. He looked at it closely as he thought in the back of his mind that the color looked too much like the color of Sephiroth’s eyes. “What…am I supposed to do when I find him?”
“You’ll know when the time is right, kiddo,” replied Zack with a huge smile before he ruffled Cloud’s hair again.
He felt irritated for a moment, but as he looked at his best friend, it all melted away. Every bad feeling was gone and was replaced by something better. Cloud smiled softly as Aerith came to stand beside Zack. She smiled back at him. There was such hope in her eyes that he felt he actually believed in her cause, well, no, their cause.
Before Cloud could open his mouth to say anything, they were gone. He opened his eyes and suddenly felt everything. He was sore, tired, and lying on something hard. Not to mention his head hurt like hell from taking that blow from the Chicobo. Upon further inspection, he concluded that he was lying on the ground near the Chocobo pen.
Ah, so it was just a dream.
Cloud sighed and started to rise, but felt something solid in his hand. He looked over and saw the green Materia.

[:+ + + + +:]
The next day, Cloud rose early even though he had barely slept the night before. The first thing he did was take a long, hot shower. As relaxing and pleasant as showers were, it was always in the shower that he couldn’t put his mind on pause. After several minutes of standing still under the hot spray of water, the exhausted blond had made up his mind.
He would go find Sephiroth today. It was better just to get it over with especially since Aerith and Zack had told him that there wasn’t much time. It was best not to dilly dally when it came to important matters. The blond didn’t really need that reason as an excuse to get off his ass since he hated sitting or standing around when there was nothing to do. He had already caught up on all his deliveries and the Chocobos had plenty of fresh food and water. They really didn’t need much from him since they could maintain themselves pretty much. Still, he liked to keep himself busy. The busier he was, the less he thought of unpleasant things. That and he enjoyed putting his mind and body to work.
Before Cloud headed out, he grabbed something he had prepared and cooked the night before. It looked like chicken. And Gaia, it tasted delicious.
Cloud made sure that he had everything he could possibly need first before leaving his house. When he was satisfied that he wasn’t forgetting anything, he walked out the front door and walked past the Chocobo pen. With a little smirk of his own, he glanced at the silver Chicobo that in turn eyed him rather suspiciously. It didn’t try to attack him this time, but that was mostly due to the fact that it had a collar around its neck with a chain that was mounted to something too strong for it to pull out.
Stopping right beside his bike, Cloud closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Opening his eyes moments later, he exhaled right before he straddled Fenrir. Seconds later, he was speeding down the road with the cold wind whipping his short, spiky blond hair around. He liked riding best when he had nowhere to go. He could go faster and faster to wherever he pleased. The sense of freedom and power was beyond amazing.
It almost felt like flying.

[:+ + + + +:]
For a couple of hours, the green orb didn’t get any brighter as he held it in one hand. It did progressively get warmer and warmer. Cloud wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but he took it as a sign that he was doing something right. He had never seen a Materia quite like this before and didn’t quite know what to do with it. He had seen and handled green Materia before, but it had never looked or felt like this one. The blond trusted that when the time was right, it would tell him where to go.
He knew Yuffie herself would have been all over this Materia as if it were the last one in existence. That girl loved Materia to the point of obsession, especially if it was unique. The rarer, the better.
Cloud shook his head and grasped the green Materia a bit harder. He had to focus now and thinking about his friends wouldn’t do much good at all. Being distracted was stupid since it was very dangerous out here all alone without any backup. A monster or some other beast could get the drop on him if he didn’t keep up his guard.
Once he had reached the Juxtan forest, the green Materia glowed a bit more brightly. Taking this as a sign, he slowed Fenrir down significantly and entered said forest. The blond did his best to zigzag through the trees without hitting anything that would damage him or the bike.
When he had swerved into another direction, the Materia dimmed down considerably. Mildly alarmed by this, Cloud quickly turned back into the other direction. The Materia brightened up again almost instantly. The brighter it got, the closer he felt he was to the correct path. Anytime it dimmed, he tried different routes until the Materia was luminous once more.
Half an hour later, he found himself driving through dense forest. He had to stop Fenrir and get off the bike. There was no way he could drive through those narrow spaces between the trees now. Not to mention all the boulders, thick jutting roots, and other land formations. He would have to walk the rest of the way on foot.
Looking regretfully at Fenrir, he was reluctant to leave the motorcycle out here by itself. Casting one more repentant look at the bike, he turned away and strode briskly in the direction the green orb was leading him to.
Wherever Sephiroth was, he felt close. Too close for comfort.

[:+ + + + +:]
Ten minutes later by hiking up a small mountain, Cloud found the entrance to a small cave. The green Materia in his hand was glowing so brightly then that it reminded him of familiar mako green eyes.
The entrance was blocked by a collapsed, dilapidated tree that was on its way to death. Touching the tree with one hand, Cloud tested its strength. When it didn’t budge much, he wrapped his fingers around the hilt of First Tsurugi and drew his blade. With a precise, yet powerful blow to the tree, he stepped aside and watched as the majority of the tree fell to the ground and then rolled down the mountain.
Sheathing First Tsurugi back in its rightful place, Cloud was free now to enter the cage. He hesitated for a moment, but ultimately decided to push on. He came this far. There was no way he was going back now.
Treading slowly and carefully through a tunnel in the cave, the blond man didn’t even need to light anything due to how luminous the Materia was. As he walked, his hands felt cold and clammy in his gloves. Unsure of what exactly he would find, he felt anxious. He trusted his friends, but he still couldn’t quell the feeling of unease that he felt from being so close to his former enemy.
A few minutes later, Cloud entered another chamber. Unlike the cave’s entrance, the chamber was unhindered by any object. Pressing on, he walked into the chamber and even though he knew what he would possibly encounter inside, he was not at all prepared for what he saw.
In the middle of the room was a gigantic green crystal that was large enough to fit two men of the ex-General’s size. It was emerald green and looked very murky, yet the silhouette of a distinctly masculine body could be seen.
As if pulled by a magnet, Cloud found his booted feet leading him towards the crystal almost against his will. Gripping the Materia harder, he gasped when the light of it danced against the surface of the crystal. No longer as murky, but still difficult to see, he could easily distinguish that the man encased inside the crystal was indeed Sephiroth.
The silver-haired man’s eyes were closed and his seemingly angelic face was strangely tranquil. He didn’t look dead at all. He looked as if he were only sleeping.
The green orb clutched in his right hand burned so brightly that he had to squint. The Materia was so hot that he could feel the heat of it radiating through his glove.
Hesitantly, Cloud reached up and brushed away some of the dust that made the crystal look so dark. He could clearly see Sephiroth’s face now. Instantaneously, the feelings of sorrow, guilt, and rage filled his being and he could not stop them as they overcame his being. All it took to feel like a complete emotional wreck was just seeing the madman’s serene face.
Two things then happened.
First, Cloud dropped the green Materia, which clattered to the ground and then shattered in countless pieces. Something that looked like green miasma crept up and blanketed the blond. Not only did he accidently breathe it in, the green gas seeped into his clothes and into his skin. It was like breathing water and fire at the same time without the burn and without the pain.
Too enraged and filled with blinding hot hate, the blond didn’t really notice what the Materia had done to him. First Tsurugi was already in his right hand in a flash. Slipping his other hand around the hilt, he raised the blade up high over his head. Next he backed away and without hesitation, he swiftly with all the strength he could muster, stabbed the sword through the crystal as he screamed his fury.
A blinding, yet magnificent white light filled the chamber as a myriad of broken fragments of green crystal split and rocketed in random directions of the cave. The rest of the crystal prison shattered and fell to pieces near Cloud’s feet.
First Tsurugi clanged soundlessly to the ground and was forgotten in a heartbeat.
The rage, the hate, and the despair were plucked away from Cloud like feathers until he was laid bare like a naked chicken. His hands dropped uselessly to his sides as the blond male watched as the very nude body of the ex-General fell indolently forward towards him. Even unconscious and between life and death, Sephiroth still fell gracefully like an angel.
Instead of backing away and letting the man hit the ground; Cloud surprised himself by catching the silver-haired male in his arms. He sank to his knees with Sephiroth clinging to him like a newborn babe. The moment Sephiroth’s bare skin made contact with his, a raw sort of power surged through Cloud. It was so powerful that he would have staggered back if he hadn’t had his arms around a certain unconscious madman.
Countless memories assaulted Cloud all at once. All of Sephiroth’s memories, the good and the bad, coursed through him without mercy. In a mere instant, he relieved Sephiroth’s entire life. He saw everything, heard every thought, and felt every feeling. Saw every victory and defeat, saw every cruel experiment performed on him, and saw the ex-General break completely from himself. He saw the insanity consume the man entirely to the brink that all that made sense to him was Jenova. She was kind and soothing like a mother as she reached out to him. He then saw how she had used him as a little puppet to gain the revenge that she had lusted for.
In a lot of ways, it was like reliving his own life. Zack had been right. Sephiroth hadn’t been much different than him…except unlike the ex-General, Cloud had had a mother who had loved him. Sephiroth never had love. All he had been given was pain, power, and pride.
It was surprising to find out how human Sephiroth had been and how human he had truly felt even if he hadn’t showed it on the exterior. He had been quite human until the moment he had descended into utter madness.
But what surprised Cloud most of all was reliving Sephiroth’s final defeat by Cloud. He had effectively stopped him, “killed” him with the power First Tsurugi. As the madman fell to his imminent death, he should have felt angry, scared, and a dozen other things than what he had actually felt. Sephiroth hadn’t felt any of those things. Of all the things he had felt, it had been relief.
Shaking and shuddering from how raw and powerful Sephiroth’s memories were, Cloud could do little more than remain crouched on the ground. He didn’t look at the silver-haired man until he felt him stirring in his arms. Immediately looking down, Cloud expected to see the man glaring hatefully up at him.
Sephiroth was gazing up at him, but there was nothing in his gaze. His green eyes were blank and devoid of feeling. Shockingly, his pupils were fuller although they still held a slit-like shape to them.
The man seemed…human.

[:+ + + + +:]

To Be Continued
A/N: Thank you to all that have read the prologue so far. Feel free to comment. I won’t bite. >;)
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Let Him In