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Soaked: First in the Chronicles of Soaked	By : wolfkin59 Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1303 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor have I made money from this. It's a GIFT, therefore I'm not getting paid for it. Neither do I own Pat Green's "Wave on Wave" or NIN's "Closer" - though I used bits of their lyrics.

Chapter List
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Soaked: Part II

Drips and Drops
It was with a profound sense of relief that Tseng noted the door of his apartment. The walk had been excruciating in the most puppyish sense of the word that Tseng could think of. Zack had refused to stop hitting on him. And he'd grabbed his arse in public not two blocks back, flicking his tongue out in a way that might have been cute if he hadn't been slobbering drunk.

He won't touch another drop of alcohol in my presence, Tseng thought furiously as he unlocked and opened his back door.* I've had enough of dealing with his drunk arse!

As if on cue, the raven-haired SOLDIER tripped over his own shoe and fell, landing face down with his butt in the air. He attempted to say what was probably supposed to be 'ow' but came out 'mrow' instead.

"Are you a cat?" inquired the TURK icily as he shut and locked the door. Then he turned and hauled the SOLDIER up bodily--no mean feat, that, not when Zack was swaying so badly. "I thought you were a puppy."

Zack giggled and hiccuped to himself as a thought struck him, then leaned forward.

Sluuuuurrrrrrp!

"Leviathan, you reek," wheezed Tseng, trying not to gag. "What did you do--drink your dinner?"

"D'no," the SOLDIER slurred happily. "Bu' I'd like to ea' you righ' now." And he tried to leer.

Great--he's obviously pleased about managing to lick my face like Dark Nation in a good mood. He scowled to himself, then blanked his face again. What's next--will he pounce at me like a cat?

Shaking off immaterial thoughts, the TURK flipped the light on. At least, he tried to. For some reason, it wasn't working. Tseng sat Zack down on a couch in the light shining in through the curtains on the window, then walked to another light switch and tried it.

No luck.

Either the generator blew, the power's out, or Reno's been messing with the wiring again.

It wasn't that Tseng didn't like Reno; the Wutaian man just didn't like his redheaded comrade's modus operandi, which was something resembling chaos. How Reno could complete his job without formulating plans was a mystery to the raven-haired TURK. A blessing when things went wrong, but no less frustrating for being helpful.

Speaking of Reno, thought Tseng. He once again removed his PHS from his pocket and dialed--this time hitting speed dial number two, the first being reserved for Director Veld.

"Yo, boss!" said an exuberant redhead. "'sup?"

"Were you doing something to the wiring at my place earlier?" Tseng questioned, voice even.

"What do you mean, yo?"

"The lights won't work, Reno."

"Seriously, yo? Damn...." There was a pause as the redhead thought, then muffled talking in the background, and finally Reno was back on the phone again. "I'll be over in a bit, yo. The Director said I could leave my mission to the rest of the team and figure out what's up with your place." Without further ado, he hung up.

Tseng was tempted to glare at his phone. Still, Reno was on his way with the intent to fix what he could, while Zack was dripping on the couch. It made more sense to be unhappy with Fair.

"Hey, 'sssszenng," slurred the intoxicated SOLDIER. "'m h'ngry...."

Subtly, Tseng's eyelid twitched. In addition to babysitting, now I have to feed the fool as well.... What he said was, "I have chips, if that will work."

When Reno knocked on the front door** and called out, "Yo, Dot-man, I'm here!" shortly later, he was loaded down with a few lights and several tools--including a roll of electrical tape.

"You came prepared," commented Tseng. For once....

The sound of munching drew Reno's attention from a witty response to the living room, where he saw something unexpected. "Zack? Thought you were drinkin' tonight, yo."

"Wuz," came the slightly less intoxicated mumble.

Tseng eyed the crumbs as if they were offensive, nearly twitching. It makes no sense to clean the couch until he sobers up, he told himself. He'll just cover it with crumbs all over again. The Wutaian TURK didn't normally avoid subjects, but he didn't want to think that he might even possibly have to clean alcohol-soaked vomit from his couch in the morning.

"Ya know, I get the feeling I'm better off not knowing, yo," murmured Reno.

Apparently to himself, Tseng thought aloud, "I wonder if he was drinking whatever Sephiroth and Genesis were.... If so, that explains a bit."

Reno blinked. "What? Yo, Gen got Sephiroth to drink?!" He's been trying to get Sephiroth to drink with them for a while. Did he finally succeed?

Instead of answering the question, Tseng relieved his comrade of a light and a few materials, then turned and made his way to the breaker box. Not that Reno needed him to lead the way; the redhead had messed with the lights in this place often enough to know the system blindfolded, surely.

Tseng was relieved to find Zack asleep on the couch--or perhaps passed out was a better word--when he had to fetch a pair of pliers a little while later. Thank Leviathan, he thought. Now he can't do further damage to my residence.

He really should have known better.

Adroitly ignoring Reno's attempts to remove the electrical tape from his hair, Tseng paced slowly back into his kitchen. The sink now had hand prints embedded around its edges, the tap was broken and dripping, the fridge's built in ice machine appeared to be stuck, shooting frozen projectiles at anyone foolish enough to pass in front of it at certain heights. He sighed. Note to self: never leave an intoxicated SOLDIER alone outside their bedroom; even if they pass out they wind up destroying things by accident....

He strode cautiously into the living room, discovering that one of the couch cushions had been ripped and thrown across the room. There was a hole in the TV and it was sparking, and his stereo system was a lost cause, wires everywhere. One ebony eyebrow twitched.

"Must you have, Zack? I rather liked my home the way it was."

Somehow his tone of voice managed to penetrate even the SOLDIER's drunken haze. Was it a miracle?

"S'ry," mumbled the dejected man.

Tseng sighed. "Let's clean this up."

To Reno's misfortune, he was included in Let's.... He growled and grumbled to himself snappishly as he trailed after Zack, trying to keep the inebriated man from making a mess. This wasn't as challenging as it could have been, due to the fact that the raven-haired SOLDIER had taken a liking to feeling up Tseng's arse and trying to leer. And from the looks of things, he'd been doing it enough that the Wutaian TURK had decided attempting to stop him was hopeless.

In the back of Zack's alcohol-fogged mind, a semblance of a plan was taking shape. It probably would have been less of a semblance and more of a plan if he hadn't been inebriated, but it was taking shape all the same.

*What? He's a TURK--what self-respecting TURK would go in their front door when they have so many enemies?

**Only because he knew Tseng was in residence and already on edge. TURKs aren't the trusting kind.
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Soaked: First in the Chronicles of Soaked