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Bonding By Instinct	By : angelofinnocence Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1148 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, nor do I make a profit from this work of fiction.

Chapter List
- 1-Prologue: Unexpected
- 2-Chapter One: Morning Calls
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Bonding by Instinct
Chapter One: Morning Calls
                Seifer was slow to wake in the morning. Handsome features scrunched much like his daughter’s as the unhappy sound of said daughter reached him, prying him from his sleep with annoying ease. Forest eyes blinked open, focusing slowly as his brain began processing the sounds that had initially woken him. He pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, rubbing hard before long fingers threaded back through his hair and he groaned roughly. He’d almost been able to forget his current situation, almost allowed himself to believe that the stress of being a sudden single parent and losing his would be sorceress and wife had all been a nasty dream.
                Reality crashed over him in harsh waves with every keening whimper that filtered through the closed door of his borrowed room. Seifer took a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly, attempting to gather his wits before he released the heavy breath and forced himself to roll out of the much too comfortable bed. He felt almost human now that he had managed to catch up on some of the much needed rest he’d been deprived of during the previous two weeks, at least physically. His mind was less fuzzy than it had been, thoughts no longer half built and jumbled in a tangled mess, but the tenseness in him was still present.
He padded barefoot from the spare room, scratching his toned stomach idly as he made his way out into the kitchen. He blinked several times, uncertain of what he was seeing exactly, barely managing to stifle an unexpected chuckle when the sight before him finally sunk in. There was Squall Leonhart, saviour of the world, righteous commander of the most prestigious Garden in all of Gaia, sleeves rolled up to his elbows attempting to bathe a complaining baby girl in his kitchen sink. The brunette’s shirt was soaked down the front, small clumps of soapy suds clinging to delicate chocolate strands of hair which were hanging in Squall’s face haphazardly. Seifer tried very hard to keep the grin from forming on his lips, he really did.
He wasn’t sure how Squall had ended up in such a state while bathing a baby that could not have weighed more than six or seven pounds maximum, that is until said baby flailed suddenly within the confines of the small sink, kicking her legs and waving small, chubby arms excitedly while making a loud sound somewhere between a squeal of delight and a squawk of displeasure. The intense motions sent another splash of warm water over the side of the sink to soak Squall’s front anew. Squall made a frustrated sound and a frown of concentration took up residence between cinnamon brows, attempting to continue bathing the child even as she squirmed and squealed uncontrollably. Seifer did laugh then, unable to keep the chuckle at bay any longer. The image before him was just too unexpected and entirely too cute.
Squall sent a vicious glare over his shoulder, though it did not have the desired effect given the splatter of suds stuck on one pale cheekbone. He said something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like a curse when Annabelle let out a particularly loud squawk and kicked her legs, successfully sending yet another gush of warm water over Squall’s chest and stomach. He had already turned his attention back to the slippery baby girl, choosing to simply ignore her father in lieu of finishing her bath with what water was left in the sink.
Seifer shook his head, roguish grin still playing over his face as he moved to pour himself a mug of coffee from the half-emptied pot. He wasn’t surprised the pot was already half gone. He should have known that Squall would have been up for hours already. He stepped up next to the brunette, keeping just enough distance between them to remain out of the way of any wayward splashes of water. He leaned against the counter casually as he continued to watch the scene until Squall was satisfied that the infant was completely clean. The brunette swaddled her in a fuzzy towel and turned towards Seifer, lips pursed in irritation.
                “Take your spawn so that I can go change my shirt,” he demanded, offering the squirming bundle to the taller man with a scowl that was nowhere near as intimidating as he was clearly hoping it to be. It didn’t reach his eyes and it made clear to Seifer that despite his words and expression, Squall wasn’t at all as displeased as he was pretending to be.
                Seifer set his mug down and took the baby from Squall’s hold, which was all well and good until Annabelle realized that the hold was different than previously and began to wail in earnest. Having successfully transferred the infant to Seifer’s arms, Squall had already retreated to his room in order to replace his wet shirt with a fresh, dry one, returning moments later changed and free of suds. Seifer was holding his screaming daughter awkwardly, grimacing at the sounds coming from her, his eyes closed, obviously uncomfortable and uncertain as to what to do to get Annabelle to quiet down.
                “She hates me,” Seifer said, hurt and disappointment evident in the tone of his voice as he spoke, upset green eyes meeting Squall’s gaze as the brunette approached.
                Squall shook his head, warmth seeping into his grey-blue eyes as he watched Seifer. “She doesn’t. You’re tense and it’s making her nervous. Hold her more firmly and rest her head against your heart,” he instructed, moving to carefully help adjust the bawling infant in Seifer’s hold. He could feel the tenseness in Seifer’s muscles and heaved a sigh, “Relax Seifer.”
                Seifer scoffed in annoyance, “How am I supposed to relax? I’m used to holding Hyperion, not some tiny little human obviously trying to drive me deaf. And she’s a hell of a lot more fragile than Hyperion.”
                Squall snorted quietly, “What difference is there? Certainly she’s lighter than Hyperion and she squirms, but isn’t she just as precious? You’re not going to hurt her Seifer. You couldn’t, I promise.”
                Seifer looked uncertain, agitated by his own insecurity, but Squall’s words struck a chord in him. Yes, his blade was precious, was like a part of him, yet when he thought of it like that, he realized that Annabelle actually was a part of him. She shared his blood, was a living, breathing piece of him, unlike the unforgiving steel he’d come to love. He’d mastered the gunblade, the most difficult of blades to master in fact and he would master fatherhood too… With Squall’s help, just like with Hyperion.
                The sudden hush startled Seifer and he looked to his former rival with wide green eyes, fear glimmering in the depths, afraid that maybe he’d held her too tight or something, broken her somehow. Squall was smiling. Squall Leonhart was smiling which was almost as startling to Seifer as the quiet infant in his hold. The soft curl of bowed lips made Seifer’s heart skip a beat and reassured every uncertainty he’d had moments before. That single smile made all of it okay.
                Seifer found himself smiling as well, a look of almost awe taking over the handsome aristocratic features of his face. Squall’s hand squeezed his left shoulder encouragingly before the brunette was moving away once more, setting out baby lotion, powder, a fresh diaper, and a warm sleeper on the table. Once he’d finished, he looked at Seifer expectantly. The blond didn’t even notice, his forest gaze now completely focused on his baby who was waving a tiny fist in the air as she stared back at him with matching wide green eyes. It was endearing.
                Seifer would be a good father, Squall knew; the blond was just insecure, afraid of failing, especially because a failure at something so heavy would not only affect him. It wasn’t like failing a SEED exam. There weren’t any do-overs.
                Squall considered his former rival for several moments while Seifer swayed unconsciously, soft cooing sounds escaping from him as he looked down at his baby. He didn’t really wonder why Seifer had chosen him. It was something the blond had done many times over the years. Whenever Seifer had felt insecure, he had sought Squall out. Though, he had rarely spoken in a friendly manner during those times, assumedly because of immaturity and the rivalry they were so known for then, but it had become habit none-the-less and Squall understood it. The situation was different, time and experience had changed them and so Seifer had instinctively sought Squall out when he was being consumed by his insecurities as he always had in the past, but the previous antagonism and animosity had been outgrown.
                Squall released an inaudible sigh, pulling himself from his musings, afraid to consider the differences too closely, lest he begin to hope for something he’d long since given up on. “Seifer,” he called quietly, drawing the taller man’s attention. When Seifer looked at him, the brunette simply gestured at the items he had set out on the surface of the kitchen table. The glint of fear sparked in emerald depths again, but Seifer didn’t back off, instead moving to carefully place his baby girl in the open space between the arrays of baby things. Annabelle scrunched her face in displeasure, but didn’t do more than grunt and make faces as Seifer applied lotion, powdered, and dressed her with only minor difficulty before he picked her up once more.
                Shortly thereafter, the sleeping infant was safely tucked into Squall’s bed, walled in by pillows and nestled in a warm swaddling blanket. Seifer watched her for several long minutes, ghosting fingertips over the dark fuzz atop her head before he finally tore himself away and half closing the door, returned to the open living area.
                He flopped onto the sofa with a heavy sigh. He leaned his head onto the back of the couch, closing his eyes briefly before reopening them only to focus on his brunette host sipping a mug of coffee quietly at the counter.
                “How come you know all this stuff anyway? Were you a girl in a past life or something?”
                Squall’s grey-blue eyes shifted, meeting Seifer’s, narrowing slightly at the teasing comment tacked onto the end of the true question the blond was asking. “Or something… But actually, I know because of all those girly classes I took when we were still cadets. You know, the ones you refused to take because it threatened your masculinity. Those home economics classes were much more educational and practically informative than you would have thought. It wasn’t all about making brownies and decorating with doilies,” he replied belatedly, lips quirking up slightly.
                “Shit Leonhart, you always were the more practical type out of the two of us. Better safe than sorry and all that. I never thought I would need to know this kind of stuff. Never thought I’d be a dad either. Guess I was wrong on both counts, huh?” the blond said idly, running the fingers of his right hand through his golden hair, “Hn, never thought I’d be admitting that you were right about those classes either. I really should have taken them back then.”
                “You couldn’t have known things would turn out this way. Don’t dwell on it too much. You never did like to plan practically for the future, always chasing the present and forgetting about the consequences it might have on tomorrow. It was always a part of your charm,” Squall’s voice wasn’t chiding, but warm with what could only be affection underlying the tone, “So what do you want to do now that you’re here?”
                Seifer pursed his lips, apparently thinking. His mind stuck on what Squall had said. Squall thought his ‘devil may care’ attitude was charming? That was an interesting development to say the least. The stoic brunette had never let on something like that before. It took several seconds for him to realize that Squall had actually asked him a question and was watching him, waiting for the answer expectantly. “Uh, I don’t know. I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” he started, a lopsided grin playing at his mouth as he realized he was proving Squall’s words correct, “I guess, I’ll reenroll if I can. What’s the protocol for SEEDs with kids?”
                Squall stifled a quiet chuckle behind his coffee mug. The answer Seifer had given him was exactly as he’d been expecting. He leaned back against the counter, holding the warm mug in his hands and regarding his former rival with interest as he considered Seifer’s reply more carefully.
                “There isn’t one that I know of,” the brunette said after a moment, “But that’s the beauty of being the commander and acting headmaster of Garden; I can make protocol or break it.” There was a definite glint of mischievous amusement in Squall’s stormy eyes as he looked at Seifer, the hint of a smile flickering over his lips.
                “’S that so? So you’ll accept my application for reenrolling then?”
                Squall raised one cinnamon brow, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he considered whether or not he should tell Seifer the truth or simply act as though he was actually considering having the other give an application. “No need. You’ve been on inactive duty as a fully-fledged SEED ever since the end of the war.”
                Seifer’s brows rose instantly upon hearing Squall’s response, curiosity spurring his immediate answer, “Whose idea was that? And why?” He had always assumed that though it had never been voiced, he was better off staying away from his old home and it had been made easier to start a new life away from Garden once he’d had Rinoa with him. It had been a little odd, but so good at the same time and he’d actually begun to think it would work, that he could be happy, that he could and would be her knight, that she would make his dreams a reality, but that had been blown all to hell when she’d died, leaving him with a baby in her stead.
                “Mine actually. I wanted to make sure that you’d always have a place here, just in case you ever wanted to come back,” Squall wasn’t looking at him when he responded, a light pink colouring the normally pale cheeks as he spoke. Seifer had to sit up and turn more fully towards Squall to get a better look. He couldn’t be sure, but he thought that the brunette was blushing and his tone seemed almost shy.
                Feeling Seifer’s eyes on him, Squall turned towards the sink, distancing himself from what he was feeling, from what he knew was going to lead him nowhere. Seifer was entirely heterosexual and had just lost his would be wife, the mother of his newborn baby that was sleeping only feet away in Squall’s bed. Seifer belonged to Rinoa and there was no place for Squall, even though Rin was gone now. He gave himself a mental shake, hating his own insecurities as they began to crawl under his skin, ashamed by his inability to lock away the complicated emotions that being around Seifer incited in him. The brunette took an excessive amount of time washing and rinsing his coffee mug before he released an inaudible sigh and closed his eyes for several seconds, collecting himself and forcing the mix of feelings to settle within him.
                “You can stay here for now until other arrangements can be made. It’ll take some time to convert another dorm into a suitable apartment for you and Annabelle. As for what you’ll do here, it’s up to you, I guess. We can always use a gunblade instructor. I don’t have the time to do it myself, especially with the influx of interested students looking to master it. It might be the best course of action for right now since you have a baby, but you have some time to think about it,” Squall said, changing the subject as smoothly as he could manage, making the offer to accommodate Seifer and his infant daughter for the time being and slipping into safer topics directly after.
                “Hm, yeah sure, that sounds good. Never considered teaching brats before. Might be fun though,” was Seifer’s somewhat distracted reply. He was still trying to work through Squall’s odd behaviour. He wasn’t sure if he was reading the brunette’s signals right. It was as if Squall was being shy, like he was speaking to his schoolboy crush, but that couldn’t be right. Squall was, well Squall and Seifer had never known his childhood rival to be shy, at least not since they had first met at the orphanage as brats and certainly not any time that he could recall in recent years. Not only could he not remember Squall as shy, but he had been entirely certain that the chilly brunette was entirely asexual, frigid assumedly and certainly not able to develop a crush of any sort. But Seifer was fairly accurate in identifying these sorts of things, having been the target of many a young lady and he was sure a few men as well throughout the years after first reaching puberty. The signals he was picking up were entirely mixed, but he was almost certain that interest was amongst them, right on the forefront with what he could only assume was shame. He wasn’t sure what to make of it.
TBC…
So I have had this chapter written for a long while, but had originally wanted to make it longer, but alas, I simply couldn’t get any more out of me for this particular scene. Sorry for the relative shortness of it, but there will hopefully be more to follow soon enough and assumedly longer chapters as well. Hope you enjoyed the read. Thanks a million for reviews. I do so love the feedback.
Xander
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Bonding By Instinct