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Tseng's Company	By : Turkaholic Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 1072 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII or any of the characters. I make no money from this story

Chapter List
- 1-Tseng's Company
- 2-2
- 3-3
- 4-4
- 5-5
- 6-6
- 7-7
- 8-8
- 9-9
- 10-10
- 11-11
- 12-12
- 13-13
- 14-14
- 15-15
- 16-16
- 17-17
- 18-18
- 19-19
- 20-20
- 21-21
- 22-22
- 23-23
- 24-24
- 25-25
- 26-26
- 27-27
- 28-Epilogue
- 20
- 21
- 22
Chapter 21
Tseng's lips pressed against mine forcefuly for a minute or so, his entire gorgeous body pressing me up against the wall of my hallway. At least, I thought that was were we were. Hell, we could've been doing this on Shinra's table in the middle of one of those godawful all-staff meetings for all I knew or cared. The only fact that my stressed, fatigued and lately drunk little head cared about or could even comprehend was that this was Tseng - fucking gorgeous, fucking cold, fucking loveable, fucking confusing Tseng - who was kissing me, and how disgustingly easily I was giving this kiss away after he'd screwed with my head all goddamn day. But then who cares... Tseng's tongue felt damn good in my mouth, and I wanted it to stay there.
Am I shameless? Could be. I mean, I'd rarely turned down a chance for a quick fuck in the past, but desperate would probably be a better way to describe it this time. I'd been desperate for this to happen for weeks... months, and fuck it, now more than ever I wanted my cold fuck of a boss to do this. Actually no, forget 'wanted'... 'needed'. I needed this. It's not very often a guy like me gets or wants real affection instead of quick, noisy ruts in my office. But right now? Right now I needed affection, and holy crap, Tseng suddenly seemed uncharacteristicly willing to give it. I felt him stifle a groan in the back of his throat and sigh for a second before his lips finally parted from mine.
I opened my eyes lazily as I felt Tseng move away and I actually found myself following him forwards for another kiss before I stopped it. Desperate? Yes. Clingy? No. The last thing I wanted to do was suffocate the asshole. I mean, if that happened, what the hell would I do for the rest of the night? Besides, I'd practically screamed how much I wanted him by kissing him outside, and I was supposing - and, you know, forgive me if I'm jumping to conclusions - that him walking straight into my apartment and shoving his tongue down my throat without so much as a word meant that he wanted me too... and about fucking time! In the morning, when I woke up with my hangover, it'd probably hit me just how goddamn in-fucking-credible what was happening actually was, but Right now my esctatic little brain was content to pretend that this was a very realistic erotic dream, and just like in any other dream I was gonna make damn sure I got the most out of it.
When my eyes finally decided to focus, I found myself staring into Tseng's dark, normally cold eyes, his eyebrow raised and his lips quirked into a knowing smirk as he licked them slowly and pressed himself closer against me. Fuck only knows what I looked like to him - my eyes shadowed with pure need, as well as relief, disbelief, lust and a whole bunch of other emotions I'm not sure they've named yet, and my mouth was stuck open stupidly from the kiss, so I probably looked like some slack-jawed idiot to Tseng.
I took in a few ragged breaths in the silence that followed, Tseng's damn perceptive eyes searching mine amusedly.
"...Do you have any idea how many company codes you've just violated?" he finally growled at me in that cold tone of voice he'd used on me earlier outside, and for one godawful, horrifying second I thought I was right back at square one with the confusing son of a bitch... that was, until the hand that had been wrapped in my hair moved down slowly to touch the base of my neck, and his eyes softened into what could have - if I'd been sober enough to comprehend it - been affection. My eyes rolled back into my head again at his touch, and this time I didn't bother to stifle a growl, as for a few seconds it was the only noise I remembered how to make.
"Uhh... its probably better not to count." I drawled at him, grinning lazily with the scotch in my blood. "Why? You gonna put me on a charge then, Tseng?"
"Absolutely. Intra-office relationships, insubordination, insulting a superior, disobeying orders, personal distraction..." I swear, half of these he was just making up to make me shit a brick. Thankfully, I was too far gone to much care wether he put me up on charge, as long as he didn't mind staying in this position for a few more hours...
Tseng finally finished his list of charges as his hand continued to touch the base of my neck gently. He looked at me with a sudden flash of sincerity.
"...now you tell me Reno, what am I supposed to do with you?"
I shrugged and let a feral grin cross my lips. He had been half serious, but a question like that was just asking for a Renocentric answer, and even fucked up to the nines I just couldn't resist it.
"Well I dunno boss, I guess I could think of a couple of things." I murmured quietly, and let myself move my arms to circle around his back and pull him closer, not that there was much room for him to get closer, but god it didn't stop me trying. Now he was willingly here, I wasn't giving up my chance. Hell, its not like it had come here easy, and besides: for once I just needed somebody there. I mean, come on I'd just had the worst week of my entire damn life. And who better to keep me company than this miserable, sexy bastard, huh?
Tseng didn't say a thing. He just smirked at what he rightly assumed was a trademark Reno reaction and began to let his hand at my neck trail slowly down my shoulders, and I actually saw lust form in those way too cold eyes. For the first time since Tseng had come in, I realised how nervous he looked: despite the smirk and the calm facade, his breath was ever so slightly ragged and his face looked barely worried. Wait one goddamn second! Why would Tseng be in the slightest bit nervous about this? Unless...
A part of me half panicked at the thought that this could be Tseng's first time with a guy, and that maybe that was the reason he was always so stoic with me. Holy crap, it made sense too, that maybe he wasn't sure about wether to react to me because he wasn't sure what to do. 'Christ, don't flatter yourself Reno.' I knew for a fact that wasn't the reason: from the way his hands seemed to know their way around the male body, and the force he'd been kissing me, I knew damn well that Tseng had been sure of his sexuality for a long long time. Jesus! To think that this time last week I thought that he was straight! There seemed to be something else on his mind, behind the lust in those dark, serious eyes, and the more sober half of me wanted to find out just what it was. But knowing Tseng and that damn man's over zealous pride, he'd probably change his mind again and walk out, and if he did that I swear I'd completely lose my already pretty damn fragile mind. Holy crap did I need Tseng to stay here right now. After Rufus, you'd expect me to be avoiding situations like this like a drunken Scarlet at the Shinra Christmas party, but as my very quickly growing libido will bear witness to - that sure wasn't the case. In fact, after Rufus, a kiss like that - and what I fucking prayed it would be leading to - was a damn sight better at easing my fucked up mind than any amount of alcohol had ever been able to, and he had only kissed me! 'Forget Tseng's problems for now, you stupid idiot. You're about to get what you wanted, don't cheapen it.'
It went silent as Tseng leaned back in towards me, his hand started to caress leisurely down my spine as I tried my best to stave off the groans I felt humming up inside my chest. Crap, how can one guy, who acts like ice all fucking day, have a touch that's so goddamn soft? Softer than any woman's touch I'd been with anyway, and it was doing something to me that was making me shudder after every movement of his fingers... I don't know, maybe being used by Rufus had just made me more sensitive to this kinda stuff, I really dont know. All I know is, as Tseng worked his way slowly down my back, I couldn't help but let out that damn moan that had been trying to get free for the last few minutes.
Oh fantastic, and now Tseng would think I was a jackass weakling... But he just smirked harder, apparently glad to be causing me to moan under just his touch. His eyes suddenly flashed and he growled at me through the lust:
"Damn your stubborn ass, Reno." and before I had a chance to retort he'd pressed his lips against mine again. Hard.
Shit, but Tseng was a good kisser! And he tasted good! I felt as if what was left of my brain was slowly dribbling out my goddamn ears at the taste. His tongue was mixing with the leftover scotch in my mouth to make one of the best cocktails I've ever had. I could market it, and it'd be a best seller: 'Tseng on the rocks', 'Tseng on the beach'. Walk into a bar and order a 'Pink Tseng'.
Damn, this guy's mouth could make me millions.
His lips were forceful against mine, but supple as well, and his tongue slid along mine the same way it had, when we'd been waiting to die this morning. I couldn't help but just meld into him and groan. This was what I'd goddamn been longing for, and this time there was nothing to interrupt us, no reason to rush it or be disturbed.
If I said I was out of my mind with the fucking esctacy of it all, that would be one hell of an understatement.
Tseng groaned into my mouth quietly and I tightened my grip around him as I felt something hard pressing against my leg. Well, looks like I wasn't the only one getting excited, at least. He pushed me hard back against the wall with a grunt, and it was only when I heard the door slam that I realised he'd shut it behind him with his leg. And then my heart did fucking cartwheels. Tseng was actually staying! He wasn't gonna just up and leave! I lost my breath. I couldn't help but break away from the kiss and hiss.
"Reno..." I heard Tseng murmur, and his attention turned to my neck and shoulder. Call me easy, dammit, call me whatever the hell you want, I seriously don't give a rat's ass, but just the sound of that man saying my name made me shudder. His voice was heavy with lust as he kissed my collarbone, and I felt as though I was going to pass out right then and there. Just the fact that someone like Tseng would want some skinny little runt like me was one hell of an aphrodesiac. His hand continued down my back slowly... and I cried out in pain when it touched the wound at the base of my back.
"Ah Holy shit!"
Tseng stopped what he was doing suddenly, halted for a second, and then drew away from me with a sigh, the offending hand held out in front of him as I only just stopped myself from whimpering at the loss of body warmth. I was barely able to keep my own weight up due to inhebriation and just complete, utter fucking lust. His eyes settled on his fingers, and I was still feeling a twinge in my back from where he'd touched it.
There, on Tsengs fingers, was wet blood.
Fuck.
Tseng's eyes snapped straight from lust into that godawful stoic business stare as he looked at the blood on his fingers, and he tensed up, pushing his emotions back behind the barricade with such utter perfection I could've sworn I was looking at a completely different guy. He was tight ass Tseng, head of the Turks again, and I gulped when his steely eyes flashed up from his hand to me. He clamped his jaw and glared.
"You didn't change the bandages, did you?"
And that would be a no. Well gee Tseng, when your heart's just been crushed under a certain someone's polished Turk-issue boot, the last thing you're interested in is dressing your fucking wounds! I wasn't about to admit that though, so I just did what I could and shook my head slowly, unable to take my eyes off that changeable face of his as he sighed, the way he sighed when I was late for work. You know? The one that infallibly made me feel like crap. And just because he'd been kissing me and murmuring my name a few seconds ago didn't make me feel any less crap-like. Just call me 'Reno a la Crap', stick me in the open, and watch the flies flock round.
One thing I have to say about Tseng: he certainly knows how to manipulate people. But I guess that goes with the territory: 'Head of the Turks' aint exactly a prestigious title, but it takes a hell of a lot of professionalism. Which is why I'll probably never get it, and probably wouldn't want it. Yeah I take my job seriously sometimes... when I feel like it. But 'Head of the Turks' would just be too much like actual work.
Tseng sighed in annoyance and pinched the bridge of his nose again.
"Reno, if you weren't already on leave I'd suspend you. You're a complete imbecile."
I was too damn lustful to pay much attention to what he said, so I just smirked drunkenly.
"Well from you, Tseng, I'll take that as a compliment." I growled, and reached out to pull him back towards me. Yeah I have a one track mind, but come on, this was Tseng! I'd been waiting too damn long for this to let some insignificant thing like bleeding to death get in the way of things.
If it was you, would you have let the guy walk away?
Tseng glared harder at me as my hand reached out for him, and then he snatched it out of the air and held it almost painfully tight. Shit, my heart went through another jolt when he did that. I wondered for a second where the lust in his eyes had gone. I realised it was still there, but it was overrun by what I reckoned was anger at me for not doing what he told me to. I sighed and rolled my eyes. OK then, I guess he wasn't gonna let this go. Damn Tseng and his professionalism! For a second his eyes felt so cold I thought they were going to strike me down through just staring, and then they softened slightly, so he looked more like an angry principal than a psychotic assassin. He let go of my arm and shook his head.
"Don't even think about it now, Reno. Get your sorry ass into the kitchen."
Well his voice seemed softer now anyway, though he still looked pretty pissed at me. Couldn't blame him, I guess: He'd ordered me to do something important, and I'd blatantly ignored him. Ah man I felt like some scalded little kid. And at the same time, I couldn't help but feel like a cat with the cream. At least now I knew Tseng didn't hate me, and maybe he was ready to open up to me. But god, could he torture me any more? Come on, Tseng, I've had a fucking terrible day, have a sense of compassion. You can't just kiss a guy and then expect him to stop, even if the guy is a complete ignoramus. That's a punishment way worse than any suspension.
I couldn't help wondering what exactly he wanted to do in the kitchen, but Tseng had his 'comply or have all your limbs removed' face on, and I really didn't like the idea of being dismembered in my hallway, so I kept my mouth shut and tried to think straight enough to remember where the kitchen was. Have you ever had to think when you're drunk, horny AND going into the first stages of shock? Trust me, it does nothing for your short term memory.
'Kitchen? Yes, Reno... you remember, kitchen? Where the food lives?'
Took a while for me to remember, but I got it in the end, and managed to push myself away from the wall Tseng had pushed me up against without collapsing. Props for me, I guess, considering everything. But I was determined to show Tseng the wound in my back wasn't that bad, so I wasn't gonna try to grab onto him for balance or anything. I mean, walking is the natural instinct for humans, right? A little alcohol and lust shouldn't be that big an impediment...
Tseng watched sternly as I stood up and skulked past him to lead him to the kitchen. The broken phone still lay smashed in pieces on the hall floor, and Tseng stared down at it inquisitively as we passed.
"I didn't like the color." I said dryly, and stepped over it. Well, the last thing I wanted was a fucking inquisition about why I'd done it. That'd lead us back onto the subject of Rufus, and at the moment that was part of today and the last week I seriously wanted to forget. Having Tseng here - even if he was suddenly acting like a grouchy old schoolmaster - and actually knowing he didn't despise me and think I was scum, made me feel calmer, but I wasn't about to go blurting out everything about what had happened with Rufus. And anyway it might scare him off. The last thing I wanted was to be left alone after everything: Rufus... Don Corneo... holy crap, the events of the last week were still spinning round in my head like roulette wheel, and I'd do whatever it took to keep Tseng here.
Fuck it, how sucky that sounds.
My kitchenette isn't much bigger than one of the toilet stalls back at Shinra Tower. Seriously, and it has the same kind of smell too. Mostly because I can never be assed to wash anything, so the floor is littered with half eaten pizzas, underwear (not always mine) and empty bottles. For the most part I rely on fast food and takeaways, because physically washing plates, cutlery or anything of the sort brings me out in a cold sweat, thus from all the times I have been forced to use anything that needs washing, the sink of my apartment is stacked high with crap.
Trust me, if the state of your house represents the state of your psyche, then mine should be on the critical list right about now.
Why am I telling you this? Because that godawful mess is what the pristene, crease-free head of the Turks had just walked into... with one of the most restrained faces adorning his face he's ever managed, even though you could tell he was disgusted by what he'd just walked into. He stared round at the chaos for a second, me almost cringing at how it must look to the most stoic guy in Shinra to see such a mess. Then he looked at me with a quirk to his lips as he tried to surpress a smirk.
"Nice place you have here." He raised an eyebrow at me, and I let a lopsided grin form on my face as I recognised Tseng's weird humour emerging. He didn't seem all that bothered by the complete mess he'd just waded into. And why not? I'll tell ya why: because nobody in the whole of Midgar can resist my sexy, debonair charm for long, not even Tseng.
Yeah I know... I don't believe a word I just said either.
"Well, you know... the Midgar Hilton just didn't have the class for me."
To tell the truth, this sudden change in Tseng's attitude was one hell of a shock to my system: twenty minutes ago, he'd been telling me to get the hell off him, and now? Now he was wandering around my house... and my god, he was even being fucking sarcastic! If I said I wasn't completely astounded and shocked beyond belief, both you and me know I'd be a goddamn liar, but I wasn't gonna go and show my surprise to Tseng. Yeah, he wasn't blocking me out completely any more, but he was still the most confusing asshole in the whole of Midgar, and also, the most intimidating. Even if he had just been kissing my face off a minute ago, he was still my boss, and I was still kind've afraid of the bastard. I was kind of drunk, but I was doing my damndest to tread carefully. Better to be safe than in a bloody puddle on the floor, after all.
He kicked one of the empty scotch bottles out of his path as he walked up to the cupboards and stared up at them. "Bandages."
It finally clicked what it was he was upto. "Top right hand cupboard." I slurred. I was starting to sober up a little now. Enough to speak in full sentences anyway, and enough to begin to realise he wasn't doing this to punish me, as well.
I watched him and took in a sharp breath as he reached up and pulled open the cupboard door.
Crap, this wasn't punishment at all, this was him worrying about me.
Tseng... was worrying about me? Yup, no doubt about it, as much as he was trying to cover it up with that damn righteous stoicism. I knew damn well that the lust in his face earlier hadn't been fake, so I knew he wanted me. Maybe not as much as I wanted him, maybe for him this might turn out to be a one night deal, but he definitely wanted me. There was definitely no confusion in that department anymore, which believe me, was one huge weight off my shoulders, as well as one of the most unbelieveable pieces of info I'd ever heard. He could've just ignored the fact that I was bleeding and carried on knowing I wouldn't have said no, but he hadn't. This was Tseng trying to help me, putting off his own desires to make sure I was OK. Jesus, how much self control must that take?
I felt a lump in my throat, but forced it back down before it had a chance to settle in.
Well whaddya know? Behind all the stocism, snide comments and hardass attitude, the son of a bitch actually has a heart.
Well, If Tseng could restrain himself, then I was damn determined to show him I could too. Sound childish to you? Maybe it was, but I'm stubborn, and maybe a little too proud. Besides, considering the way he'd been acting in the hall (which hadn't completely sank in to my fucked up brain yet, and hopefully wouldn't for a while or I swear I'd have a heart attack) I knew it must be taking a godawful amount of self control to be still putting on this front. So I tried to ignore the unsightly bulge in my pants for now and pretend the scene in the hall was just my mind doing its favourite trick of wishful thinking.
I watched him searching through the cupboard with a lazy look of disbelief, and couldn't help but just stare at that goddamn perfect body as he moved. Tseng has this way of moving that's unlike any guy I've ever seen. I guess you could call it graceful: his movements are so damn precise, and yet its like they all flow together like some kind of dance. It's hypnotising if you stare at him for long enough - which on normal days you don't, as he'd damn well notice, being the annoyingly perceptive asshole he is, and he'd figure something out. But now he already knew, so where was the harm in staring? Okay, so if Rude was here it might look kinda odd to him, but thankfully Rude wasn't here, so I could stare all I damn well wanted. Eventually Tseng turned back with a reel of bandage in a bundle in one arm. Well you know, we're Turks, we're always getting injured (well I am, anyway) so it makes sense to have a little first aid on hand.
"You have a couch, I presume?" He mocked, one corner of his mouth twitching up into something of a smile "That is, unless you actually prefer wallowing in your own muck?"
Too out of it to reply with a smart ass comment, I went for the easy option and just grunted annoyedly. Well, at least he was actually being sarcastic now, instead of biting my head off for disobeying him. Try as I might, I couldn't stick to being indignant for long. For one reason, that emotion really never suited me, and for another, Tseng - as I've said before - can say whatever the hell he likes, and then one curl of his lip and I'll turn to mush, so I couldn't keep a damn shield up against him. Heh... I guess 'corperate ass kisser' must be written on my forehead. I did manage to surpress a smirk though, and shot him a half hearted glare as I led him across the two feet of floor between the kitchenette and the lounge. Yeah, a real palace, my place, aint it?
Now this room was a little better, at least there weren't clothes and empty pizza boxes strewn across the floor of this room, and there wasn't all that much crap in here. It looked more or less neat... for me, anyway. Tseng looked round the room for a second, almost sizing it up before he dumped the armful of first aid stuff on my coffee table and indicated wordlessly for me to lie on the couch. I froze for a second, not exactly sure what it was he wanted me to do.
Tseng looked back at me with an expression of annoyance.
"Has that miniscule brain of yours finally stopped working? I told you to do something, Reno."
He sharpened his glare to make sure I realised he was being serious, and he scowled at me.
"Just get on the damn couch." He ordered. I figured it was better to do what he wanted, instead of comment on the insult he'd just thrown at me, and like a good little subordinate employee I went to comply. "wait."
I frowned to myself. Well for fuck's sake, make up your mind, Tseng... What do ya want me to do next? Dress in a tutu and dance?
I froze where I was, one leg up already on the couch as I climbed onto it and I just stayed like that as Tseng walked around so that he was behind me. Thinking about it, it was probably more logical to stand up again instead of just freezing, but since when has my mind worked on goddamn logic?
I shivered when I felt Tseng's hands on my shoulders, and he slipped the tattered shirt I still had on from off my shoulders. I knew it had to be done and all, but Tseng was doing it so slowly that I wondered wether that endless self control of his had finally slipped. I took a few deep breaths, and then realised why he was going so slowly as he peeled the cloth away from my bloody back. I clenched my teeth and tensed up.
"Christ." I hissed through my teeth. Tseng didn't even halt.
"Easy." He said quietly as the cloth finally left my skin. "You know this is your own fault. You're a stubborn prick Reno. This might teach you to obey my orders from now on."
And that would be Tseng trying to chastise me. He sounded like a damn school teacher and I couldn't help but scoff as I climbed onto the couch with a tired sigh, and lay on my stomach, head on the cushion at the end.
"Let's face it, Tseng, Costa Del Sol will fucking freeze over on the day I actually obey orders." Tseng looked down at me with a flash of that ice he loved to use.
"And that's exactly the kind of attitude that got you in such a mess in the first place."
I frowned at that, and I swear for a second my heart stopped beating. Pearls of wisdom from Tseng there, and thinking back, they rang truer than he could've damn well imagined. Just over a week ago, I'd been slacking in the Shinra cafeteria instead of doing a report Tseng had told me to do... and what had happened? Rufus, thats what the hell had happened. And since then, everything that had happened had stemmed from my goddamn stubborn attitude: I'd gone home and got drunk, and because of that, I'd been in no fit condition when we'd fought Max and his brothers, and I'd been injured. Because of that, when I'd followed Rude and Tseng down to sector 6 I'd been too weak to fight back, and I'd been used as a goddamn hostage. Come to think of it, everything that had happened to me this week had stemmed from me being a lazy bastard. Fuck it, I'm not saying Rufus... did what he did and it was my fault. That sick fuck had his own agenda. But the fact is there that if I'd actually did that damn report, none of this would have happened.
On the other hand, if none of this had happened, then Tseng never would've kissed me in the first place, and then I wouldn't have had the guts to say a damn thing, and then he wouldn't be here, leaning over me, drowning out the lust while he took care of my wounds, which in some twisted, half-assed way, I was kind've enjoying. So I guess that was some sort of consellation for the week behind me.
But then, maybe -
Oh screw this, my goddamn fucked-up head was going round in circles. 'Okay Reno, stop thinking now before you give yourself a nosebleed.'
I grunted when Tseng leaned over and began to peel away the blood-soaked bandages from my back, but he just told me to shut up, so I did.
Still, I guessed Tseng was right. For the first time in my career I was actually taking what a superior said seriously. Maybe from now on, I ought to be a little more professional. Hey, I wasn't about to turn into an ass-kissing employee of the month, but I was 24. if I wanted to live past my 25th birthday, maybe I should actually take the job a little more seriously. I looked up at Tseng from my position on the couch, tense as fuck because of the feeling as the bandages peeled away from my raw flesh. He obviously didn't expect me to look up at him, because when I did I saw what was undeniably concern lingering in that gorgeous face of his, before he saw I was looking and covered it up with a stony glance.
"That bad, huh?" I grunted through the pain as he finally pulled away the last reel of bandage and dropped it beside him on the floor. Tseng's eyes flickered down to mine for a second, before he looked back at my wound with an expression of concentration.
"If I hadn't come here when I did, this wound probably would have been infected by morning. You should've stayed in the hospital wing, at least for a night, but you had to be stubborn. Yet another instance of your damnable stubborness impeding your judgement."
Ouch. Can you say 'tactless'? I frowned for a second and looked up at him, but Tseng didn't seem to have realised what he'd said was anything but truthful. Had he got amnesia or something? He fucking well knew why I didn't want to stay in that hospital wing! Damn, I nearly blew my fucking top, but when I opened my mouth to snap at him, Tseng interrupted.
"We are Turks, Reno. When it comes to the job, there should be no emotion. Especially not fear." He stared at me meaningfully with those last three words, and he slowed down to stress them out. I just blinked stupidly. There was business in his voice, but I sensed a tiny drop of sympathy in his expression. What the hell was he saying? That I shouldn't have been scared of Rufus? That I should've kicked the crap out of him like Tseng had done? Of course, Tseng didn't know everything that Rufus had been doing this past week, so he had no idea just what I had to be afraid of. I couldn't really blame him for this out-of-place pep talk... I suppose. But I still felt damn angry that he was being so fucking straightforward. "In a civillian, fear is a weakness, but in a Turk it's a deathwish. It'd be a waste to see you die because of your emotions. You have the makings of a great Turk... if you actually bothered to take the job seriously."
"Well being a bum has sure worked for me so far." I snapped.
"Really? So that's why you're a bleeding, ugly mess right now, is it? Trust me, you've been lucky so far..." He sighed and frowned a little more than usual. "But sooner or later, wether it's tommorow, next week, or six months away, that luck will wear out and you won't be half so cocky with a bullet in your gut."
He looked down at me seriously, as he grabbed a cloth off the table and started to clean away the dry blood from the edge of my wound, and I clenched my teeth against the pain so hard that I thought I'd fucking break them. Well thank you Tseng, what a great confidence booster. Hey don't bother with praising your employees any more, go with Tseng's idea and get them to shift their asses by telling them they'll be dead if they don't. I cringed against the cushion when Tseng poured some kind of oil over my skin, which I guessed was antiseptic. Ah shit... if I'd still been lust-drenched up to this point, then it disappeared right this second when a wave of tingling pain hit my back. I think I tried to shout some sort of abuse at him, but what came out was too incomprehensible to sound offensive to anyone. You would've thought that if the guy at my side had any feelings at all, either physical or emotional, he would've had some sympathy... but nope, no sympathy for poor Reno from this mean asshole... he just took great pleasure in telling me it was my own fault, and told me to be quiet. I panted for a few seconds and then tried to settle down. Bastard. Yup, thats what Tseng is, a complete bastard, and I was gonna tell him that if I ever got the chance.
It went silent for a few minutes after that. Not that it bothered me exactly, as I was too wrapped up in pretending it didn't hurt to notice much else. I did notice something though. Despite Tseng's mean ass attitude, he was actually cleaning me up incredibly carefully. I occasionally managed to pay attention to him, and I noticed how goddamn gentle he was trying to be. He was trying his hardest not to hurt me, and actually he was surprisingly skilled at it.
In Turk training, we're taught the basics of first aid. Just the basics. Nothing too advanced mind you, after all: the Shinra company doesn't want to spend too much time on us underling cretins. The point of being a Turk after all is: you're brought up from the slums, you're used, you die, you're replaced. They can dress it up all they like, but thats the basic truth. Anyway, the point is yes, we're given basic first aid training, about an hours worth of it, and if you're really really desperate for medical attention while you're out on a job, the results of a home made cure aint that pretty. We're assassins, not medics, and we're clumsy. Tseng, however... the way he was doing this could no way have come from his one hours worth of Turk training. This guy knew exactly what he was doing. He was calm, professional, careful...
"You've... done this...before." I grunted as he finally started to bandage me up again. He stalled what he was doing for a second and I saw some kind of emotion flash behind his eyes as he looked down at me. Then he did something...completely fucking insane.
He smiled at me.
Ok so it was a pretty weak smile, barely visible really on that serious face, but I noticed it, and it wasn't the normal smirk he switched on when he was vaguely amused at something I'd done wrong, or when he wanted to intimidate me and Rude.
This was - fuck - it was a real smile, a soft smile. Maybe it was a little sad, but it was still a smile. I was seeing beyond the mask for a second, looking at somebody different. Looking at the same side to Tseng I'd seen in the Don's mansion. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, but I couldn't help but stare at this new expression Tseng seemed to have plucked out of the air. It looked odd on him, yet somehow it made him look ten years younger.
He turned back and resumed wrapping the bandages around my waist as carefully as he could, still letting that melancholy smile stay on his face.
"Would it surprise you if I said that I once wanted to be a doctor?" He uttered quietly.
Huh...? For a second I thought I needed my ears syringing, I could've sworn he just said he wanted to be a doctor
I lifted my head up from the cushion to look at him properly, and I swear it took all my concentration not to let my jaw just drop in disbelief. Why was he suddenly telling me this? OK, so I'd been able to stop myself from having a heart attack when he'd walked into this place and kissed me, but now you were expecting me to believe he actually wanted to open up to me too? No way, this must be some sort of trick... right? But just one look at Tseng's face and how serious his dark eyes were told me enough. This was no fucking joke. He was reaching out to me, not just chastising me or telling me how stupid I was. Fuck... I gulped to hide the rising lump in my throat before I answered.
"No." I lied, and Tseng's lips flicked up for a second in amusement.
"You're a terrible liar, Reno." The curled lip sank back down and his face changed to an expression that on anybody else, could've been bordering on sadness. "Back in Wutai, I was planning on becoming a surgeon. I was determined I would go to the best college, get my degree and become one of the leading doctors. I was going to be the best..." He was almost talking to himself, like he didn't realise I was there as he worked at my back, but I was too goddamn shocked by the words coming out of his mouth to pay much attention to the pain. "Then the war broke out. My mother was killed, I ran away to the eastern continent and worked with Shinra to get my revenge on my mother's killer. Then in repayment I became a Turk, and have been ever since." He said the last sentence with a frown, and past the disbelief I was feeling I could sense a little regret as he tightened the new bandages carefully around my waist. Then he sank back onto his heels and looked it over. I couldn't help but frown in sympathy as he said his next words, even though it was damned obvious he was trying to keep some sort of self control. "So now instead of saving lives... I end them."
Fuck, Tseng looked so damn sad as he knelt there, all I wanted to do was reassure him somehow. But what could a loudmouthed prick like me say to that? I've never been much good at reassuring people, talking about anything except booze, women, gambling and guns is something that's just beyond me, but I wanted to do something! I'd never known any of this, and it showed me just how little I really knew about the cold bastard I worked under. So Tseng's plans had been crushed by the war - by Shinra. So just because he looked so pristene and content in his job, just because he wasn't from the slums, didn't mean he hadn't been shit on by the company... under all the ice, he was basically a corperate slave... just like me and Rude.
My stomach bunched up as I watched him. I'd never actually seen Tseng like this, even in the Mansion, waiting to die. He wasn't acting up to the crowd right now. At all. I don't know what the hell triggered this admission off, maybe the fatigue and stress of the last few days had finally gotten to him, but whatever the reason, he'd just given me a glimpse into something more than cold bastard Tseng. When he'd finished, the smile completely disappeared, and he tried to replace it with that cold front again. I can only guess he suddenly regretted letting me in on his past, and he wanted me to back off again. But this time it just wasn't fucking working. I could see through it now. The Tseng I saw at work - that pompous, big-headed, professional bastard - wasn't who he'd wanted to be. It was who he'd been forced to become by Shinra.
Maybe it was the fact that Tseng had already kissed me that made me so goddamn brave, maybe it was the alcohol still swimming in my blood, maybe the pain from my back had just made my fucking sanity fly straight outta the goddamn window, or maybe the fatigue had caught up with me and I was too tired to go on anything but instinct. Whatever the fuck it was, the next thing I knew I'd reached out my arm towards him... and with one hell of a deep breath, I started stroking his hair to comfort him, like I had the night before.
Tseng froze. I could see how completely he tensed up when he felt my hand in his hair, and he shot me a look of shock, maybe even alarm as I ran my fingers through his jet black hair. For a second he seemed to be warding me off, and I thought he'd reverted back to the old stick-up-the-ass Tseng who didn't want a piece of scum like me to even touch him - hey, you never knew, considering Tseng's drastic changes of heart over the last few days - but after a few seconds of holding my breath in anticipation, his face finally softened, leaning into my touch like a cat... just like he had before. I physically saw the tension fall away from his way overworked shoulders. I half expected him to start purring any second now.
I sighed. Now this was the Tseng I'd fucking longed to see! Damn, but it had taken long enough for him to get here. I was beginning to wonder if this side of Tseng hadn't just been a goddamn figment of my imagination. But it had finally come back. No more of that 'come close and I'll kill you' shit, no more attempts to keep me at bay. He sighed and reopened his eyes while I ran my fingers through his damn intoxicatingly silky hair, and he looked at me as the lust flamed back up in his eyes, and was it just me, or did I see relief lurking in there too? Maybe it was just me, I was damn tired after all.
He moved closer to the couch and reached up to trace circles slowly on my neck, and I sighed. Probably in relief, maybe in lust... to tell the truth it was damn difficult to differentiate between the two. I'd tried my best to keep this damn longing at bay, but it wasn't working any more. I licked my lips and stared up at him, hoping he'd get the message of what I wanted. He looked at me for a second as the old, controlled Tseng started to come back with lust in his dark obsideon eyes.
"Reno...?" He questioned, his voice more Tseng-like now. It was only after a couple of seconds that I realised he'd just silently asked me a question.
My eyes opened wide in realisation. Shit, I suddenly knew exactly why since he'd come in, despite giving in to kissing me in the beginning, he'd been reluctant to carry this through. I licked my lips and gulped, closing my eyes at the feel of this normally cold bastard's fingers along my neck. If it had been anyone else, any other situation I would've just nodded, and spared myself the loss of dignity. But this was different: Tseng knew me better than any of my one-night stands. I needed to do more than just nod my head to convince him to go ahead, and if he didn't I swear I'd just pass out right now.
"I don't... give a shit about Ru... about that crap right now." I mumbled in answer to the question he hadn't asked. "I just..." Okay Reno, deep breath. The next words were gonna sting like fuck to say, but dammit, they needed to be said. I opened my eyes again gingerly, I had to force myself to look Tseng in the eyes when I said this... I had to. I'd waited a fucking long time to say them - for months they'd been there in the back of my head, nagging at me every time I saw the annoying bastard waiting for me with a scowl every morning. Say it Reno, for fuck's sake say it...
My voice was so damn full of lust when I did get the words out, I hardly recognised it:
"...I want you."
There. It was done.
Tseng's fingers stopped their circles on my neck and I forced myself to keep looking at him, as a series of emotions seemed to flicker across his face. Shit, had I said the wrong thing? Looking at Tseng's face right now was like watching a roulette wheel you'd just bet your life savings on, that's the only way to describe the complete mixture of hope and terror that was gripping me right now, and then I watched as the roulette ball dropped, and a single emotion finally settled on his face.
And then Tseng, head of the Turks, my boss, fellow Shinra lapdog, and the one person I'd ever honestly physically needed, leaned over and actually kissed me, and my muscles felt like they were about to give up and die.
It wasn't a hard kiss this time, just intense, and this time he let me take control of the pace. I had to close my eyes so that Tseng couldn't see the utter relief that would most definitely be in them, and the only thing I could think about was how long it had taken for me to say those fucking words, and how goddamn glad I was that I finally had.
I guess sometimes, you just gotta gamble it all.
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Tseng's Company