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Snow Drift	By : Resting-Madness Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Irvine/Squall Views: 970 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I don't own anything involving final fantasy 8, nor do I make money from this fanfiction. The only thing that's mine is the take on a plot that's been done by just about everyone.

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
Imari's eyes shot open to a bugged out state; breath held, body stiff, he's in the kiss for 10 seconds before instincts kicked. He nipped at Squall's upper lip then but clamped his mouth shut when Squall became aggressive. The gunblader's hands grabbed his hair, his tongue reached for more contact than was going to be offered. It snapped the wood-worker out of the brief spell, and he forced the assertive young man away from him.
Squall looked ready to kill someone... yet, his features quickly soften to content as he remembered that this man before him, though he is, he also isn't Irvine. "Sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"Ask a question." Replied the embarrassed with a light laugh, that unbeknownst to him sounded like Irvine. Imari remained silent for a moment then with a smile he faintly laughed again. "So, Irvine's gay - and he's with you!" He nods at Squall. "Can't say that I saw something like that coming. ...Were you... very close?"
"Yes." He licked his bottom lip into his mouth as if to derive sustenance from the too brief kiss.
"Then I guess I owe you the apology; I'm sorry for almost having your lover cheat on you." He confessed through sincere apology.
Squall nodded his thank you, though, he's more relieved than he can say that the word "almost" was said. Wanting to break the awkward air growing, he says. "We've known each other since we were kids; we grew up in the same orphanage on a beach in the south."
And doesn't he feel ridiculously guilty for stating that, since, out of everyone he grew up with, he doesn't remember Irvine being there at all. Now it's Irvine who can't remember him. How's that for cosmic vengeance? Out of all scenarios that for months he's envisioned and tried to will into reality, an amnesiac living another life was not one of them.
He went on. "We were all separated at some point, though; you told me that you were adopted by a family living in Willburn Hill on a ranch," a small smile of affection showed itself. "Guess that's where the accent came from, living there rubbed off on him." Although, maybe Irvine has always had a Galbadian accent, what would he know as he truly doesn't recall him.
Imari smiled seeing how happy talking about his lover seemed to make the man. It must be nice to be loved like that; to bring emotions to surface at the mere mention of your special someone. "Is that why you made up stories to Kait, calling him Cowboy Irvine?"
"Yeah, he loved the western style - Irvine does - but he's never once seen a western." With a shrug he goes on. "That's just the kind of way Irvine is; he's big on mannerism and local color. ...He wants to know it all so that he doesn't make so many mistakes, he asks so many questions." His hands squeezed his knees. "He could be a bit too cautious, it could be seen as cowardly.. But not if you really know him."
"I see."
Squall his lowered gaze, he couldn't look into Imari's eyes. "You kiss differently than Irvine; even that much about a person can be erased." Taking the stranger's hand, while holding his boyfriend's in his mind, Squall continued eyeing the familiar stranger. His appearance has such differences. He's no longer got his swimmer's physique, Imari must have really had work to do in Shumi because the guy is ripped. Earlier when he'd seen him, Squall noticed that Irvine's hair did not have the light wave to it, it was flat as paper. It only resembles how it used to be because it's a little damp from a shower. He continued speaking, unable to take in anymore nuances. "We met up again during the war. My team needed a sniper, and it was Irvine. He knew us, but we didn't know him..."
"Why's that? Or rather how?"
"We were all victims of amnesia because of the G.F.s stealing our memories from us. But, we soon remembered each other by his telling us."
"Wow... Something like that is just weird to think about. It sounds like something from a book or movie. All of you forgetting things about your past because of some monster..." Blinking thoughtfully, he added. "But you remembered, didn't you? So... you think there's a chance that I'll remember, too?"
"Yeah. That's why I think that coming home with me, being in Balamb.. will help you remember Irvine - yourself; the two years we've spent together as a couple; and the time when we were not.."
Imari looked thoughtful about the requested option of leaving his life to live another. And he would seriously have to give it thought. He loves it here. He chose this place because it suits him. From what he knows of Balamb town.. He's just not sure that's what's best for him.
Squall nudged him like a rider would a wandering wild Chocobo they're trying to tame. "Surrounding yourself by familiar things might work better for some people than just hearing about who they were. But Imari... you will try to remember, won't you? You can't shut out the memories like I'd wanted to back then... You have to remember."
Have to. Imari wondered if that was true. Does he have to remember? Why? He supposed why not was also up for examination. He rubbed his thumb over the gunblader's hand, as he's still holding his. Karver examined their conjoined hands. It's a bit different from holding a woman's hand. It's got calluses, rough patches, width, and little scares... Yet, it's also delicate and soft for the most part.
In all his four years of memory the human Shumi thought that he was one for the ladies, but it turns out he likes men. Which role does he play? Has he ever been... well, penetrated? That doesn't seem like something he wants done to him. Somehow, though, looking at Squall.. he felt that his self that was Irvine may have actually loved it.
He released the hold on his hands, and clasped his own to prevent a return of the situation. "I don't know. I'm scared... I mean, I'm worried of what it will be like to not exist anymore." Tears fill his eyes. "Will it be like dying? Or will I just stop being...?"
Squall wasn't sure of what to say. "I don't know. Part of me wants to comfort you and tell you that it's gonna be ok, but honestly, I don't know."
He sighed out his frustration. "I'm gonna be living in a strange place, being treated as a stranger... It just doesn't sit well. What if I don't remember my old self? What if I can't become Irvine?"
"I get it; with me and the others, we didn't forgot everything, just our past together and other random things. But we were always us. It's different with you, you're more like a... multiple personality." Imari scoffed hearing that; Squall waved a hand to be heard out. "I know it's gonna be weird feeling the way you do and hearing the opposite, but, if I can say anything towards that, you're not going to be unhappy becoming who you were.. Please be willing to try."
"Hn. Yeah, I wouldn't wanna mess up something as nice as what you have with Irvine."
Squall smirked. "Little can ...He and I... we gradually got each other; we knew that we had our limits, and we never tried to test them. We had great stability. He never made me want anything, never made me have that cold feeling I get when it feels like someone will leave me; and I never made him feel alone. Irvine hurt the most by our indifference to him before we regained our memories."
Imari watched the reflecting comments change Leonhart's facial expressions as he remembers the man that for four years he thought was dead. He doesn't blame him at all for kissing him as he had, and possibly wanting more. Sitting here with a stranger with your boyfriend's face can not be easy.
"I can understand that you're afraid. But Irvine really was a great person." He locked eyes with him. "You're not going to lose yourself to become a monster."
That much he figured out. But the whole situation still made him uncomfortable.
"He's got a positive effect on people; it's because of Irvine being gone, I'm getting a nice relationship going with my father."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. My dad helped me know what to do with my pain, when I had only planned to just sit around and rot. He saved me in a way; I owe him for allowing me to look at Kait and his situation to be able to give him the love that in the beginning I was afraid to." He shrugged. "I just hate the idea of anyone depending on me, wanting things from me, when back then I had no one to derive that need for myself."
"I can understand that."
"Do you wanna see pictures?"
"Sure! I don't have many to show off for myself," he watched Squall remove his wallet from his back pocket. "but I take a lot of pictures."
"You do?"
"Yeah, I took all the ones around up on the walls." He looked over his shoulder, also pointing up the stairs.
"Irvine is usually into being in the pictures rather than taking them; he liked recording videos, though." He went on. "He says that it's good to help Selphie with her diaries about us, so we never forget who we are in life or to each other. I didn't yet find out which."
"I like that. I kinda like alone time, but I also enjoy being together with the people that I care about." He took the wallet filled with pictures. "The Shumis and Mrs. Keaton."
He kept it to himself that gently as they go, Imari was sounding like Irvine in personality and preference. "Who's that?"
"She's an elderly woman that taught me how to cook a better meal than rustic chic, when I first moved here. I was terrible at it." He smiled at a picture of Squall and some people he doesn't know. "Seifer's the tall blond, huh? Kait told me that." He remembered what Kait said about Seifer being tall like he is.
"Yeah, that's Seifer." Pointing as he names them he says. "This is Selphie - she's like my younger sister."
Imari laughed then confessed. "I thought you were a young couple. She was your wife or girlfriend and Kait was your kid."
Squall looked green, moreso when Imari again laughed at his expression. After recovering from the imagery, he went on. "Rinoa - we met her during a mission to help her cause, this is Quistis, she's sort ofj a big sister to all of us; and she used to be one of the instructors at school until they fired her... Or maybe she quit? I kinda tuned her out because she had a crush on me and I thought that she would try to make a move."
They two of them laugh.
"This is Zell, he's the reason I'm not mental right now, from having to deal with Irvine's peppy attitude towards life."
"Ahaha." Turning the picture over he sees two people standing next to each other.
"That's my dad, Laguna Loire and my sister Ellone."
"You're related to Laguna Loire? The Shumis are completely in love with him. I admire the heck out of the guy, too; he's done some amazing stuff from what they told me. Hard to believe he'd abandone his kid."
"The world was at war back then; and honestly, it seemed his only concern in life was finding my sister - nevermind me, he didn't even know that I was alive. My mother never got to tell him. She dropped me off with this other woman to be raised, and then she died in an accident. My adopted mother died when I was about four. ...So I was then left in the care of Edea Kramer at an orphanage in the Cape of Good Hope. We call her Matron." He turned to the next picture to point out said woman.
Imari looked at the photo, wincing hard as an image flashed through his mind. "She was... stuck behind bars, like a prison... wasn't she?"
"...We trapped her beneath the clock tower during a parade - Imari, are you remembering?! Irvine?" He vigorously shook the amneseac's arm. He doesn't want to shove his love back inside the human Shumi by being polite and calling him the name he's currently using. "Irvine?"
Shaking his head, Imari turned the picture to the next one. "I'm sorry, that's all I could see."
Fist balled in frustration, Squall calmed himself back down. 'I have to be patient and let it come naturally. He won't remember if its forced.' Easier wanted than doable. Looking at the currently exposed picture, he says. "That's Kait when he was one and a half. I got him a rocking Chocobo for the holidays. He loved it. That's Irvine's, your, hat he's wearing."
"He really did love the cowboy thing."
"Yeah." Closing his wallet after showing the man a few more pictures of Kait and the others, he stuffed it back into his pocket. "You named him. Something about finding him in the trees being the reason, because kites get stuck in trees."
Imari furrowed his brows and comments. "That is so lame."
"That's what I thought; everyone else thought otherwise. ...I've come to like it though, he looks like a Kait. It's really cute on him. It fits." Sadness tinged his words. "We could have been one busted up happy family. He loved that kid, and me; he would have pushed to keep him in the first place, instead of putting him up for adoption like I'd wanted to."
"But you didn't. Take that as a victory, don't beat yourself up." He rubbed Squall's shoulder briefly. "If this is making you upset, we can talk about something else."
"Yeah, we better. I don't wanna end up crying or something when everything worked out all right.."
"I wouldn't judge if you cried."
Shaking his head, Squall leaned to rest his head on his boyfriend's bare shoulder. "Tell me about what you did in Shumi village. How'd you get the name Imari Karver?"
"I didn't look like anyone else. Elder thought that I was a bundle of color, which is what it stands for, so Imari was given to me. But I was Karver first, because out of all the task given to me I stunk at them. But when it came to carving wood, I was the best."
Yawning, Squall says quietly. "Living there must have really been nice."
Imari can feel wet droplets hitting his chest after sliding from his shoulder, they tickled as they slide down his peck then torso; Squall was crying and trying his best not to. That's alright, he'll give him a distraction, if that's what he needs. He can just talk and distract him. "Living there was nice, and peaceful... But after a while you kind of want something beyond that wall they have up."
"I wouldn't... I like shelter... It's relaxing and... comforting." His words are becoming more spaced apart due to drowsiness. "When did you buy a bird?"
"He was just sort of with me when I woke up in the village, and... You're not interested in a word I'm saying are you?" He smiled down at the near sleeping figure.
"No... but keep talking."
Cocking a brow at how rude that might have been to some people; Imari shook Squall a little. "Can I have a look at your wallet again?"
Squall lifts his hips a bit removing the wallet again, handing it over. He then laid himself down on the couch. It was as if all the relief he had from finding Irvine alive was catching up with him, and it was putting down for blissful sleep - a much needed blissful sleep.
"Good night, Squall."
He was already gone.
Imari flipped through the booklet of pictures smiling at the silly ones: Christmas party with Santa hats on everyone's head - that girl Selphie must have taken most of the pictures, because there are some she wouldn't be in or she'd be on the side as if she'd set the timer then dashed into place. Pictures of them at the beach, or just sitting somewhere waiting - looks like the train station. Flipping a few more times, sure enough, there he was. Or, at least, there's a picture of him, except in this picture his name is Irvine. Amnesia is such a weird thing when it happens like this. Squall may be on to something when he said its like a split personality because most people remember nothing, he remembers everything as far as functioning as a human but not of being this other self.
Irvine looks happy. He's got a genuine smile on his face; he honestly doesn't believe that he smiles that way. In another picture he's making a pig-nose and sticking his tongue out while a ticked-off Squall tries not to smile while clutched at his boyfriend's side. He wondered what went on when this picture was taken. The nicest one is of the two of them holding hands, Irvine leaned over, Squall leaned up and they're giving each other a kiss. To think that his happy existance as Imari Karver has ruined someone else's happiness - a lot of someone else's. This was the final nail in the coffin for Imari; he will mail his letters, then head to Balamb. Saying goodbye personally would likely only keep him from doing anything to get his memory back.
But he wants to try. He wants to know this old life he's forgotten.
Outside the village. The others are situating themselves on the ship.
"Are we really going back without Irvine?" Selphie asked as they took their seat upon the Ragnarok; she as the center pilot. "I didn't even get to see him for myself, I wanna say "hello", too."
"Selphie, he said that he would come to Balamb and he meant it." Squall settles into his chair. "Let's give him his time for now. He swore that he would allow us to help him get his memory back. I believe him."
"I still wanna see him." She pouts; starting the engines; the others are seated and buckled as the ship lifts into the air.
# #
"Daddy!"
"Little Bird." He scooped the charging boy into his arms lifting him into the air.
The two cheep cheep at each other with a flurry of pecks to the cheeks; Seifer rolled his eyes.
"Nothing more nauseating than father and son, oh but wait... here comes the grandfather bringing up the rear."
"Shut it, Seifer." Squall and Laguna say simultaniously to Seifer, through smiles at the young child.
The bully in Seifer only shrugged.
"Guess what, daddy, grampa said that I have a loose tooth and the Tooth Fairy will leave me one whole gil for it, if I stick it under my pillow when it comes out. What does she want with little kid teeth, doesn't she have any of her own?"
"She does," Laguna took the child from his father placing him on the floor, kneeling down to eye level so they can talk man-to-man. "but she likes to take the teeth so that babies can have teeth when they start to grow up."
Scrunching his face the boy says dramatically "Eeeuuuww!" before laughing. "I don't wanna see a baby then recognize my old tooth."
"Laguna, don't fill Kait's head with that non-sense." Squall reprimands. It was cute, though, he'd give him that.
"So did you confirm what you wanted to confirm?" Laguna inquired; one hand resting heavily on his bad knee in order to give him assistance to get up on his feet. He may have a youthful soul but his body is steadily trying to quit on him, damn it all.
"Yeah. It's Irvine alright."
"Wow. ...So, what happened?" He pulled Squall by the bicep leading him into the hall to talk privately. "Where is he? What's he been doing all this time?"
"Irvine's not himself, and... Laguna, something happened to him - he popped his head or maybe just got effected from being passed out for so long, but he doesn't know who he is. Irvine thinks he's a human Shumi named Imari Karver."
"Whaat? You mean like amnesia?"
"If it were only that simple. He's known himself as Imari for so long that he believes if Irvine is going to live that he'll die. He's scared of his memories because of it; I could see it in his eyes when he was remembering Matron, one minute a glimmer of light was there and just as fast it was gone."
Laguna whistled. "Damn that's bad, worse than bad - he's like a split personality."
"I thought so, too. ...Laguna, you had an accident when you were younger, you hit your head in a fall. ...You were alright when you woke up, though, weren't you?"
"I was a broken man living off of those around me until I settle with the Raine, but yeah, I had a touch of amnesia but it passed. I remembered... Or, everything just about anyway. Before then, all was normal except memories of my beloved Julia. Then I'd heard this song, and it came back to me.. but by then any thing between us was gone; she'd married another man, lived a life and had a child, and died."
"Well that's not going to happen with me and Irvine; Imari said that he'd had a crush on someone. Thankfully it was only two people and one was married."
"That is lucky. Love is a hard thing to give up; if Imari had found someone, I don't think becoming Irvine would be top priority on his list."
"I know that!" He snapped; Laguna isn't most people and didn't shrink back by the lion's outburst. "Which is why he's coming home to Balamb to live with Kait and me; the more he's around us the better off he'll be. He asked me for a week to say goodbye. Hopefully it won't be a drawn out tearful one, or I'll drag him from there if I have to."
"I know you will, son. That's one thing we have deeply in common, we're both impossible to be around when we want something." He pat his son on the shoulder.
Squall scoffed but smiled, knowing that it's true. He's seen the man's devotion to his sister. Though not voiced, he's grateful for that drive that saved Ellone. And Squall knows that he's very much the same towards the people he cares about.
"What will you do now?"
"What can I do?" Squall gave a shrug. "I'm gonna take Kait home and clean the place up before he comes. I want everything to look nice and be pleasant, so that he'll wanna stay."
"He'll stay. If he's willing to come at all, then it's for sure that he'll stay. Anyone else would have turned you away regardless of what proof you have that they're someone else, but Imari wants to try. Don't push him too much."
Squall wasn't sure how he would act with the man around him. He returned to the living room with the others. "Do you have all your stuff together, we have to get home and clean up."
"It's already clean." Protests the child grabbing Jojo from the couch where she was set down.
"It needs to be really clean. We're gonna have company staying with us, and we want him to like our house."
"Okay." He's bouncing on the couch on his knees. "Daddy, grampa sings the goodnight song really fast and it has a drum solo."
Used to the random things his son says, he did quirk a brow to one part. "A drum solo?"
"Uh huh, it's funny because the bed shakes, and he makes silly noises."
Squall cocked his head to his father.
Laguna simply shrugged. "He went to sleep... eventually."
"Are we going home?" Kait got off the couch walking over to Selphie taking her hand.
"Yeah, you can go out to the ship while I get your things."
Seifer was speaking with Ellone but quickly dropped the conversation when he saw Selphie exiting the room. Zell and Quistis were seated on the loveseat minding their own business.
"I'll help you with that stuff." Zell offered, following his best friend into the bedroom down the hall.
Quistis says farewell before leaving the room.
"So I've got some idea's on how to make Irvine remember quicker." Zell professed.
"What do you mean?" Squall grabbed his son's overnight bag, pointing out the toilet cover seat to Zell. 'Laguna's so weird, why would he put the toilet seat in the bedroom?' He shook his head in dismay.
"Well, Irvine thinks he's this other guy, so why let him continue to sit on it? I think the minute he shows up we should have a home movies night, or take him to his favorite places... Maybe we should even stop at the place where he disappeared - the area might jog his memory."
"I agree, the sooner he remembers the better. I've gone long enough without him, but, everyone thinks we should keep it low-key with what he needs to know and things he used to do."
"That's bullshit. If it were you wouldn't you wanna know?" He looked at his friend, who only raised a brow. "Right, well if it were me, I'd wanna know right away." Walking down the hall he continued his protest to his best friend's doubt. "Past isn't past all the time; it's what built who you are, it's basically your memories. And if Imari wants to deny those then we need to make him remember, because he has no right stealing Irvine's life."
"I agree with that, but we also have no right to steal his." Opening the front door he squinted in the sunshine. "We should just wait and see what all he's ready to handle, and introduce him to things little by little."
"Daily?"
"Yeah."
"That's the Squall I know." He grins before darting away to the ship.
'Screw Irvine's memories. I'm the only concern for him right now. The rest will come in doses, once he's back to remembering me.' Reaching the rented car, he stuffs the bag into the trunk. 'I've got to find the right way to ease Kait into, though. He may not take it as well as I hope.'
...
"We're home! I remember this and this!" Kait points at things in the room.
'Its funny how a once nothing word like 'remember' can become so heavy.' Squall looked down at the child with a small frown. "Kait, do you have to use the bathroom?"
"No, I went on the ship."
"Come sit with me then, I have to talk to you about something."
Ceasing his recalling celebration, he looked at his father's glum expression. He joins him on the couch without trouble. "What'sa matter?"
"It's about your friend Imari and Cowboy Irvine."
"Did you see him?! He looks like Cowboy Irvine, doesn't he?" Kait nods, hoping for his father to mimic him in order to confirm it.
"Kait, Imari is Irvine. He got a bump on the head and can't remember who he is. So, he had to make someone up instead."
Face twisting with confusion Kait asked. "Is this a story?"
"No, it's real."
Kait thought about that. How can it be real? Real how? "But I don't understand."
"You remember how in January you asked me to tell you about when you were a baby? And I told you about all the silly things that you did as a baby, like sucking on your foot, and spilling your food?" The child nods. "Well that was a story about a real person, and that person was you."
"...Hmmm..." Is all he can say.
Squall smiled dryly wondering how to dumb it down to make Kait understand. "I told you stories to put you to sleep, and while some of them I did make up, other stories really happened, and they were all staring a real person."
"Irvine?"
"Yes."
"But how come he's pretending to be someone else? Because he's famous like grampa, and has to wear a bisguise?" He rocks his clown back and forth making the head cock to the side. "Or maybe because he doesn't like himself?"
"That's disguise and he likes himself - very much to be exact," Squall snickered at that fact. Irvine thinks very highly of himself, or at least he likes exude that he does. "Its just that Irvine can't help it; think about it this way, you know how when you spin around you're very dizzy afterwards?"
"Uh huh."
"Well Irvine spun around so many times he can see the whole world flipping back and forth passed his eyes, and he can't get it to stand still, so he doesn't know which way to walk to avoid bumping into something."
"Oooohhhh. He's all mixed up?"
"Yeah."
"Can we help him?"
"I hope we can."
"Me too. He's nice and he gives me nice things - even though I was scared of him."
"Irvine is very nice."
"I mean Imari."
"Kait, remember what I told you; Imari is Irvine, he's just mixed up."
The boy nods staring down at his clown sorrowfully.
"Kait," He wrapped his arms around his son, nuzzling his cheek into the boy's hair. "Imari is like Jojo, the toy. It isn't alive, but when you play with it, its alive to you. Irvine is playing as Imari, like make-believe. You're not a Little Bird are you?"
"Nooo, I'm a little boy."
"Exactly. And Irvine isn't Imari, he's Irvine."
Sucking in a breath, Kait says. "Oooohhhhhhhh. Why didn't you say that before?" He asked in a mock know-it-all tone.
Playing back, Squall groans like a child. "I was tryiiiing." Tickling the child's tummy, he gives him one more hug before setting him down beside him. "What's for dinner?"
"Ummm can we have pizza?"
"Sure. You want to eat out or order in?"
"Can we eat at the pizza place? I like to watch them throw the pizza."
"Alright, take a bathroom trip then get your sneakers on."
"Okay." He dashed off to the bathroom.
'Shit, I forgot to tell him that Irvine's going to be staying with us indefinitely.' He grabbed his boots sticking his feet into them. 'One thing at a time. I'll tell him when the week is at an end.'
In Winhill.
Imari is finishing up his letters to all the Shumi, making sure to put Squall Leonhart's address inside so when they reply he'll get them. He has to wonder how long he'll be with those people? A month, months, a year?! Will he really remember being Irvine Kinneas? A flash of Squall ran through his mind; he's such an odd person - but handsome, he'd give him that. It'd be weird if he wanted to make-out or something, he may know his past life but he doesn't know him. Squall said it his self that it was like kissing a stranger - or something along those lines.
Walking from the home, he slips the letters into the mailbox.
He locked the place up, giving it a look over before walking to the single stable beside his home to climb upon his Chocobo. He'd have to give it up as well. Mrs. Keaton agreed to keep it, she said it would help her when she goes to the market. He's sure going to miss the old gal and her husband. The two of them are card buddies. What a weird turn of events this all is; and all do to a child Irvine found in a forest. He wondered if Kait knows? Will he freak out and want him to go?
Steering the large bird up the hill he starts for the elderly couple's home. A three day trip to get to Balamb should be long enough to give him steady nerves and an open mind.
'A cowboy. A sniper. Irvine is a strange guy alright; how can you love people yet be a loner? How can you want something but project the other. He sounds like he's just as confused about certain things as I am.' Looking up at the moon he remembers when he was out on the field with Scout; he had raised his arms like he were holding a gun. 'Maybe he's not as gone as I think he is.'
Pal voices his opinion about Imari's mental matters, the bird would rather he remain the same person that he is now. Why change it? Why change anything? If the large bird weren't on Imari's head he might have seen the creature's eyes begin to glow.
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Snow Drift