Adult-FanFiction.org : Final Fantasy

One (Last) Chance	By : RotSeele Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Seifer/Squall Views: 3719 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8. I do not make any money from this story.

Chapter List
- 21
- 22
- 23
Twenty-Two (Seifer POV)

As I watched Squall walk away, I was torn between chasing after him and letting him have a minute or two to calm down. It disturbed him, the way I had kissed him in front of Rinoa. It wasn’t that he didn’t mind the kiss, it was more that he hadn’t wanted anyone to really know about us. I wanted to tell him that it was kind of too late for that, since Rinoa had already figured it out thanks to my stellar ability to keep a straight face, but then, he deserved to feel uncomfortable now and then. It served as a reminder that people were going to find out eventually, and he would need to handle it when it did.
Rinoa huffed. “He could’ve at least said it back.”
I laughed. “Leonhart’s not like that. He won’t say anything that doesn’t need saying.”
“But...”
“Look, like you said, he can’t throw himself at the world and expect it to catch him. But that’s exactly what he’s going to do, to keep us from getting scars.” I looked down at Rinoa and found her staring up at me with concerned doe brown eyes. “So we’ll need to back him up, protect him in the same way. Be there to heal his wounds.”
She smiled. “I can do that, easy.”
I smiled back at her but didn’t say anything. It had disturbed me more than Squall knew to see Hyperion slice his skin and draw blood. I knew that in the Before, we had been on opposite sides of the war, and we had fought each other to the death. Squall had fought with everything he had in order to stop me, the other me, knowing that he could - and maybe did - end my life. He had fought with that same conviction in our duel, as he always did. I had fought to kill him as well, knowing that we’d either fight into a stalemate or he would win when he was ready to end it. Rinoa interfering had given me a coronary, but seeing Squall take the hit made my entire body feel as though ice was flowing through my veins. I could’ve severed his spine or damaged his arm enough to limit mobility. A Curaga spell wouldn’t have been enough to heal him. I decided I was going to yell at him later, when he couldn’t run away from me.
“Hey, Seifer.”
“Yeah, princess?”
Rinoa twisted her hands against her stomach. “It’s gonna get crazy from here on out, isn’t it?”
I smiled, hoping it was reassuring. “Sure it is. But don’t worry. You got me and Squall to watch your back.”
She nodded and stretched her arms out in front of her. “I think I’m gonna go find something to eat.”
I escorted her out of the training grounds, let her go off to the cafeteria on her own, then went to find Squall. He wasn’t in our room, but I knew he’d stopped there when I found his torn coat and shirt on the bed. I wondered how many outfits he had, considering I’d only ever seen him in his SeeD uniform or his typical black leather, belts, white shirt, and short black coat with its furred collar. I could wait for him there, but I figured he would know I was waiting to ambush him here and would avoid his room for a while. Besides, I was pretty confident something exciting was about to happen.
Something did happen, but it wasn’t exciting.
We arrived at Trabia Garden.
I followed behind Squall and Selphie as we approached the Garden, and I wondered how Selphie could still move with how hard she was trembling. The missiles had done their job, destroying Trabia Garden so that it was a mere shadow of itself. I could only wonder how many people had died in the attack. They had had no warning, no way to mitigate the damage or protect themselves.
“A direct... hit?” Selphie asked, her voice thick with emotion.
Squall reached out and squeezed her shoulder, but he didn’t say anything. Some might think him cold for not trying to comfort her, but it would’ve been worse if he had tried to say something to spare her feelings.
Selphie took a deep breath and turned watery eyes on Leonhart. “...I’m going in.”
Squall nodded. “Be careful.”
Selphie nodded and headed toward the wall in front of us. She gripped the mesh net and began to climb. After she had reached the top and disappeared from view, Squall followed with me close behind. It didn’t take long for the others to catch up with us.
“Squall!”
Irvine puffed up to us, a hand to his head to keep his hat there. “Have you guys seen Selphie?”
The others murmured similar questions, all the while looking at the destroyed Garden with wide eyes and varying expressions.
“Yeah...” Squall responded. “I let her go on ahead.”
“I bet you she’s in shock.” Irvine said, as if it wasn’t obvious. “Come on, let’s go after her.” He didn’t wait for us; Irvine took off toward Trabia, following Selphie’s path. The rest of us moved after him, but at a slower pace.
Eventually, after giving the injured what aid we could and trying to help the survivors put some semblance of normalcy back into their lives, we found ourselves at the basketball court. The entire place was in shambles, proving that the destruction of Trabia Garden had been rampant and widespread. It was a bittersweet moment for me, because Before, I had been the one who had ordered Trabia’s destruction. I had killed its SeeD and its students. This time around, I didn’t bear the brunt of that blame, but I somehow still felt responsible. Glancing at Squall, I knew he felt the same.
He glanced up at me, then looked at the others gathered around them. “We’re leaving as soon as Selphie comes back. We’re on standby ’til then.”
I slowly made my way toward Squall, trying to gauge his mood. I wasn’t sure if he wanted me near him right now, so I kept some space between him and circled. I also studied the rest of the group, noting Irvine’s expression and wondering what he was thinking about. Rinoa, too, looked like she was thinking. After watching Leonhart and I fight, then seeing this destruction, I was pretty sure she was starting to have second thoughts about standing and fighting. I knew she was a pacifist at heart, but the way she had conducted herself so far had told me she was willing to fight if she had to. Now, I wasn’t so sure of that.
Selphie walked into the court a minute later, kicking a basketball before her. “Sorry to keep you waiting!” she said. Despite the obvious sorrow in her eyes and voice, she beamed at all of us. “Thanks so much for coming all the way out here, everyone.”
Irvine tipped his hat toward her. “Cheer up, eh?”
Selphie smiled. “Thanks.” She turned to Squall then, standing a little straighter. “Take me with you when you fight the sorceress, okay? I wanna get even. I want my revenge!”
I saw Squall twitch at that, but before he could say anything, there was a nervous sound from Rinoa. She had wrapped her arms around herself, as if she were cold, and was looking like a kicked puppy. “Um... Do we... have to fight?” she asked. “Isn’t there another way? Y’know, to avoid any bloodshed?”
Zell was the first to jump on her for that, and it took all my willpower not to punch the chickenwuss for what he snapped at her. “Yo!? What the...!? What are you sayin’ all of a sudden!?”
Rinoa flinched but her back was up then, and she wasn’t going to back down now. “Maybe someone really smart can come up with a way, so we wouldn’t have to fight anymore...”
Zell took a step toward her then froze as Squall turned an icy gaze in his direction. I’d never seen Zell go so still. Then Squall focused on Rinoa and I swore his expression became softer. “If someone can come up with something, that’d be great.” he started. “But the truth of the matter is, no one knows what to do. If there was a way we could protect everyone and stop the sorceress without fighting, I would take it in a heartbeat. But there isn’t. We have to fight, because the sorceress isn’t going to stop until there’s no one left to oppose her.”
Squall’s voice became softer then. “You were part of a resistance movement in Timber. Unlike others who were all talk, you took to your weapons and fought, even though you were terrified that the next mission might be your last. Are you scared?”
Rinoa nodded tightly. “Sometimes... when I’m with all of you... I feel like we’re on the same wavelength... you know? But when the battles start happening, it’s different. I saw it, when you and Seifer were fighting in the training center. Everyone’s tempo seems to pick up and... I get left behind. I try to catch up, but it’s no use. How far is everyone going? I can’t hear anyone... Once I catch up, I wonder... Is everyone safe? Will they welcome me with open arms? ...Is everyone okay? Will we all make it back together? When I start thinking like that...”
“Rinoa,” Irvine said, “I understand. Someone might not be there. Someone you love may disappear before your very eyes. It’s tough when you live your life thinking that way. But that’s why I fight... When I was a little kid... I was about four or so... I was in an orphanage.” He picked up the basketball and took a shot, watching it hit the backboard. “Plenty of kids... All with no parents... It was around the end of the Sorceress War, so I guess it couldn’t be helped. Anyway, that’s where I was. And out of all the kids there, one was very special to me.”
I glanced at Squall while Irvine talked. Squall’s lips had become a thin line and he was focused on Irvine with a steely intensity. Irvine continued, not even noticing. “I really liked this girl, and it made me so happy just talking to her.”
Selphie inhaled sharply and shivered. “Was that orphanage... a stone house?”
Irvine nodded. “You guessed it...”
“An old house made of stone?” Quistis asked, her voice almost trembling. “By the ocean?”
Irvine smirked. “You guessed it... I knew right away, when we first met!”
“Heey, why didn’t you tell us!?” Selphie cried.
Quistis agreed with her. “Yes, why didn’t you tell us?”
Irvine shrugged. “‘Cause you two seemed to have forgotten! It just kinda sucked that I was the only one who remembered... Spunky little Sefie and bossy little Quisty.”
“That is just sooo weird...” Selphie breathed.
I half-listened to Selphie, Quistis, Irvine, and soon Zell gush over the childhood memories that only Irvine seemed to remember clearly. I was focused on Squall, watching his face. No, Irvine wasn’t the only one who remembered his childhood clearly - Squall did too. He remembered all of it, and had known this moment was coming. He glanced at me, subtlety tilted his head, then focused back on the others. I heard my name and my attention focused on Zell the moment he looked over at me.
“Seifer was there, too.” Irvine said. “Except for Rinoa, we were all there.”
Selphie looked at Squall excitedly. “Heeey that means...”
Squall nodded slowly. “Yeah... I was there, too.” He folded his arms over his chest in that protective gesture I was so familiar with. He had known this moment was coming, but he was still reluctant to speak about it. I was a little pissed he hadn’t told me we’d known each other for a lot longer than I thought we had, but I supposed I couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t important, just like Squall knowing who his dad was and why those Moomba back at the D-District Prison knew his father wasn’t important. “I was always waiting for ‘Sis’ to come back. Ellone... She was a bit older than us, and we all used to call her ‘Sis’.”
The others dissolved into talk about Ellone and why certain members of our ‘orphanage gang’ were adopted and others weren’t. I ignored them, still staring at Squall. He wasn’t meeting my gaze, meaning there was more about to come that he was more than willing to let the others figure out instead of leading them by the nose to it. Maybe I wasn’t being fair, but I could feel my temper starting to shred, and I was ready to snap at Squall.
There’s no reason to be angry with Squall. Ifrit said, his voice actually gentle for once.
Of course there’s a reason! He knew all of this, and still knows more that he’s not telling me. He gave me the overview of it all. I snapped back.
A flare of temper threaded through Ifrit but the GF somehow stayed calm in the face of my anger. Yes. The overview. And what would you have done had he come right out and told you every minute detail?
I started to argue, then stopped, embarrassed and a little angry at myself. Ifrit chuckled. Exactly. You have nothing to say. Being told something doesn’t have the same effect as experiencing it. You can’t just tell someone how to wield a gunblade; you have to make them hold it, appreciate the weapon for its danger and elegance. Squall is applying the same principle to this journey.
I looked at Squall, registering his expression as one of regret and apology. It became more obvious as he looked at me, and less so as he looked toward the others. No, he didn’t care about them, how they figured out what they figured out. He already knew how they would react to the newfound knowledge. He was more worried about me, about my reaction, since he had already told me about what he’d experienced and what he had planned to do to ensure the rest of his already-lived adventure continued the way it had Before. Squall’s arms tightened around himself, which told me everything I really needed to know.
See? Ifrit said. He weighed the consequences of telling you and leaving you in the dark, knowing exactly how you would react when he told you and how you would react when you learned something that he should’ve told you.
Shut up. And don’t sound so smug.
“Hey...” Quistis said. “Do you all remember Matron?”
Zell smiled fondly. “She was always wearin’ black...”
Selphie tapped her fingers with her lips. “Let’s see...”
“I see a resemblance. Matron...” Zell grinned. “They look alike...”
Selphie frowned. “Wait... I just pictured her face, and...”
“Very kind... Long black hair...” Quistis seemed to beam. “Yes, I really admired her.”
Irvine blew out a sigh and shook his head. “Look alike? Nah, that’s not it. Matron’s name is Edea Kramer. Matron is Sorceress Edea.”
Selphie shivered. “Matron... Sorceress Edea...”
Quistis looked as shocked as we all felt. “Why is the Matron...?”
“Why?” Irvine asked. “You’re wondering why Matron would take over a country, or fire missiles and whatnot? At this point, we probably wouldn’t comprehend it even if we talked about it.”
I looked at Squall, as if he was going to jump right in and explain to them everything he had explained to me. But he didn’t. I knew why. They wouldn’t believe that Edea was possessed by a sorceress from years and years in the future. And even if they did believe it, they wouldn’t fight to their fullest to try and bring back the Matron we all remembered. They would be afraid of hurting her, of killing her, and then we would all lose. And that, I realized, was what Squall had weighed before and was weighing now.
Irvine continued speaking, but I ignored him. Whatever he said didn’t matter to me, anyway. I already knew our entire group was going to remain together for the duration of this. Squall had already assured me of it, even though he was going to do some things that would cause some real strain on everyone, especially Rinoa. Squall was already strained because of his firsthand knowledge and the weight on his shoulders was pounding him down, little by little. Even though he knew he had to do it, it still beat his conscience to a pulp, and I wasn’t helping any by looking at him like he was public enemy number one.
Eventually, it was decided that we would stop by Edea’s house, the orphanage, to try and find some clue as to why Matron suddenly went from benevolent caretaker to power-mad murderer. Squall didn’t have any objections to doing that, so the group began to head back to Balamb Garden outside Trabia’s gates. I paused, waiting for Squall, and noticed that Rinoa had stopped under the basketball hoop, staring at the ground beneath her feet. Without speaking to one another, Squall and I approached her. I stopped on her left while Squall stopped on her right, and we both looked down at her, waiting for her to speak.
Rinoa looked up at Squall, then at me. “...You guys are fearless.”
Squall shook his head slowly. “No. I’m completely afraid. I’m afraid that I won’t be able to protect you or Seifer or the others when we face Matron. Any number of things could go wrong. What if I’m forced to choose between saving you or saving Selphie or Irvine? What if I send you on a mission and you get killed? How can I live with myself then?”
Rinoa just stared at Squall for the longest time, her face set in an expression that told me she hadn’t expected Squall to say what he did. “Squall...”
His chest expanded slightly as he inhaled. Then he turned his back to both of us and said, “I wish we didn’t have to fight, either.”
He walked away then, and Rinoa and I followed at his heels. There really wasn’t anything we could add to what he said, anyway.
- 21
- 22
- 23
You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.You need to be logged in to leave a review for this story.
Report Story

One (Last) Chance