Blonde Ambition | By : sephcounttheways Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2097 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 2 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Cloud glanced up when he saw someone enter the room, and his jaw dropped when he realized it was mother fucking Vincent Valentine.
Vincent was wearing the same cut of suit that Cloud had seen him in before, minus a tie. His alarmingly red eyes scanned the room and gave Cloud the barest of glances before he came forward and set down three trays of finger food that he was balancing. Once they were placed on the table, he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and began to pack it as he turned to leave again.
Cloud was both grateful and disappointed that the intimidating man was leaving as quickly as he arrived, until Julie decided to squawk at him, “Vinny! You haven’t said hello to the boys, yet!”
Vincent stopped and slowly turned. He reluctantly slid his cigarettes back into his pocket and approached Cloud, or rather the infant he was currently holding.
Cloud looked up at him like a tiny mouse regarding an airborne predator.
Julie wasn’t nearly as impressed, and tugged on the end of Vincent’s sleeve and scooted over, making room for him to kneel down on the floor in front of Cloud. Vincent gave the unamused sigh of a far older person than he appeared to be, and pulled up his pants a bit as he knelt.
Cloud could have shat a brick. An older version of Sephiroth’s beautiful face brooded under dark hair, only lit up by a pair of piercing red eyes. He was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome; the boiling polar opposite of Sephiroth’s icy features.
Vincent glanced up at Cloud, clearly noting his blatant staring problem. Then he wearily regarded the newborn baby. “It looks like a hairless rat.”
Julie elbowed him. “We all know that. But you still have to tell me he’s cute.”
“He’s very cute, Jules,” Vincent finally admitted, and raised a hand to touch the baby’s small face.
“Do you want to hold him?” Cloud offered quietly.
The Turk seemed to hesitate, but then Julie elbowed him. “Sure he does.”
Vincent sighed again and rose up higher on his knees to take the baby from Cloud. Their arms and hands mingled as Cloud was slightly caught up in the baby’s blanket, but after some careful fumbling the infant was successfully transferred.
Confident with the child’s new handler, Julie excused herself to nosh on the food trays Vincent had brought in. He remained on his knees before Cloud, and an awkward silence settled between the two.
Cloud finally spoke. “My name’s Cloud.”
Vincent clicked his teeth, not looking away from the newborn. “…Vincent Valentine.”
“Nice to meet you,” Cloud continued despite the lukewarm greeting.
“Pleasure’s mine,” Vincent replied absently.
Cloud fought the blush that crept onto his face at the word ‘pleasure’ coming from Vincent’s mouth, his deep, even voice so much like his son’s. He wondered if those two identical voices had shared words, and decided to pry. “Did you get a chance to see Sephiroth?”
“Yeah. I saw him,” Vincent answered somewhat sweetly, as if he was talking to the baby as it shifted grumpily in his arms. He said nothing else for long enough for Cloud to feel uncomfortable again, before Vincent finally looked up at him. “…You and Seph are together?”
Cloud felt his face grow hot. Talk traveled, but he didn’t know how Sephiroth felt about Vincent in particular knowing he was gay. But Cloud wasn’t going to lie to a Turk, let alone a Turk that was Sephiroth’s father, and so he answered as confidently as he could, “Yes, sir.”
Vincent frowned as though this concept was unusual, “Like… boyfriends or somethin’?”
“Yes sir, for the past five months,” Cloud told him.
“Oh,” Vincent gave a non-committal nod of his head. He then returned his gaze back to the baby in his arms.
“He’s been gone for a lot of it,” Cloud spoke to fill the void. “But we’ve managed to keep close by talking and texting. Seems like that’s the way it has to be to keep in touch with most people in Shin-Ra. You’re all busy people.”
Vincent hummed in agreement. “…You tryin’ out for SOLDIER or Turk?”
“SOLDIER!” Cloud straightened happily in his chair to say so.
Vincent nodded. “You’ll do well. Seph’s leadin’ a good pack.”
Cloud giggled, “Sephiroth inspired me to join in the first place. It’s so funny... I never really thought I’d even get the chance to talk to him. I’d hoped of course, but I never really thought it’d happen. And now… I love him with all my heart.”
Vincent smirked, shaking his head at the notion of Sephiroth and this babbly foreign blond cadet together. It was clear that the little kid had big feelings for Sephiroth, which was nice – all things considered.
He’d been appalled the day he’d happened upon them necking on the sidewalk under the plate. But actually hearing the depth of sincerity he had for Sephiroth, Vincent became somewhat content with the unorthodox happiness that they had found together. He supposed he’d always rather see Sephiroth settle with a nice girl… but in his pool of experience, nice girls were utterly fictional.
He supposed that if Sephiroth had found himself a nice boy… there were worse things. “Well, I guess that’s real cute. Is he treatin’ you right? I don’t need to backhand him, do I?”
“Definitely not,” Cloud laughed, feeling bubbly and surreal to be talking about this with the infamous Turk Commander. “We can both be bitchy to each other sometimes, though. Being apart a lot doesn’t help things, but we’re managing.”
“Bein’ involved with someone you barely see puts a test on things, doesn’t it?” Vincent said to him. “I barely wanna talk to anybody on the phone, let alone some broad I’m tryin’ to date. Not that you’re a broad of course – ”
“No, I know what you mean!” Cloud blushed, not allowing Vincent to apologize for something trivial. “But with me and Seph, it’s like we never run out of things to say. I can’t even recount what we’ve talked about afterwards, because we usually don’t talk about anything at all. We just like to hear each other make noises, I suppose!”
Vincent didn’t say anything at first, but hiked an eyebrow. Cloud slowly registered what he had just said and felt his face become scorching hot. “Well, words, I mean. The noises we make are words. Talking. We’re talking while we’re making noise on the phone…”
“Well, at any rate, it seems like you’re keepin’ him busy,” Vincent finally said, decided to not torture the blushing boy with his calculating silence any longer. “How’s he doin’?”
“Didn’t you ask him yourself?” Cloud asked.
“Nah.” Vincent shrugged, “He doesn’t need me botherin’ him.”
Cloud tried to swallow that down without getting angry, but it was way too difficult to manage. He liked Vincent as a person, but that didn’t mean he forgave him for hurting Sephiroth with his distance.
He’d heard pain in Sephiroth’s voice, felt his lover’s sadness and sense of incompletion from this severed tie. Vincent was the only family he had, and even then he hardly knew him. Cloud lowered his voice to keep his demanding tone out of the earshot of the party, “It’s not ‘bothering’ him to talk to him. And if it is, then maybe he does need to be bothered.”
“Well,” Vincent said, seeming to try to gather something to say. “He’s… He doesn’t seem to…”
Suddenly Genesis approached, and his voice was like an atom bomb dropped onto their conversation. “Hey! It’s been nearly half an hour and I want Matty back!”
Vincent was only too willing to pawn the baby off into Genesis’ demanding arms. While they were busy transferring him, Cloud’s pocket vibrated with a text. He pulled out his phone and saw that it was from Sephiroth, and that he had completely foregone punctuation.
gladly! Cloud typed back with a huge sigh of relief. Any excuse to get out of this awkward bubble of conversation would be welcome, and besides, he was planning on forcing father and son to reunite. Fucking the son in the bathroom first would definitely take the edge off.
“Well, I’m going to see where Seph went,” Cloud said to Vincent when he was done handing the baby back to Genesis, and offered a handshake. Vincent looked at it before carefully encasing the smaller hand in his, then proceeded to shake it way, way too hard. Cloud’s arm nearly snapped in half, and Vincent openly laughed at the face he made. He would never understand why people in Midgar did this to him, and perhaps someday he’d learn his lesson.
But despite yet another social transgression, it was comforting to see the sexy Turk finally crack a genuine smile.
…Sexy Turk? Cloud inwardly groaned at that thought and immediately turned away, but Vincent called to him.
“Hey. Bring Seph back with you, alright?”
“Definitely,” Cloud nodded, and stepped into the hallway. He finally noticed the baby photos of the party attendees on the wall and was charmed by them, especially when he noticed that Sephiroth had put up the one that his mother had sent to him of his third birthday. That explained why Sephiroth didn’t follow into the living room in the first place, but where was the bathroom?
hurry Sephiroth texted.
marco! Cloud quickly typed back. Then he listened carefully, and smiled when he heard the faint echo of one of Sephiroth’s ring tones from down the hallway. There was a door with light cracked underneath it and Cloud figured it was a safe bet to knock gently.
The door unlocked from the other side and opened slightly, and Cloud peeked in, expecting to find Sephiroth waiting with his pants around his ankles. What he found though, was his lover’s fair face tinted bright red. His eyes were puffy, and the whites were pink, making the greens pop out even more vibrantly than usual. Streaks of wetness dripped from Sephiroth’s jaw line, until he self-consciously rubbed them away.
Cloud was shocked senseless, until he finally came to the realization that his lover was crying. “Seph!”
“Shh!” He pulled Cloud into the room by his elbow.
He slipped inside and stuck to Sephiroth like glue. “What’s wrong?”
“Don’t yell,” Sephiroth hissed against his hair as he squeezed Cloud into a hug. “Just chill out with me for a second, ‘kay?”
“Okay,” Cloud agreed carefully and hugged him tightly. Cloud rubbed his hands up and down his back, and frowned at how small Sephiroth felt in that moment. “…Are you feeling okay? Do you need anything?”
“No,” Sephiroth said ambiguously and pressed his wet face into Cloud’s shoulder.
“Well are you saying you don’t feel good or are you saying you don’t need anything?” Cloud asked, mainly because he felt the need to talk and force Sephiroth to talk.
“I dunno,” was all Sephiroth muttered back to him. “I just…”
Cloud was at a loss. “Talk to me.”
“Vincent’s here,” Sephiroth finally managed to say.
Cloud’s heart hardened at the possibility that something from their interaction might have hurt Sephiroth this badly. Vincent played it off like nothing had happened. Then again, he had no reason to tell Cloud the truth about anything. But if they’d fought, why did he ask Cloud to bring Sephiroth back with him?
Cloud considered playing dumb to get Sephiroth to tell the entire story, but decided the last thing Sephiroth needed was mind trickery. He admitted, “I know he’s here. I talked to him in the living room.”
Sephiroth stilled in his arms. “What?”
“Don’t worry, we just talked for a second. I didn’t say anything to embarrass you.”
“You don’t embarrass me, Cloud,” Sephiroth murmured, pressing his face to Cloud’s neck. “Not at all.”
Cloud’s face erupted into a smile, and although he was trying to be sympathetic and sullen, he couldn’t help but warm over with joy at the fact that Sephiroth was so willing to be open about their love. When he was sure that he’d swallowed all of his bubbling giggles, Cloud asked, “Well what happened when you saw him?”
“It was in the kitchen.”
“And?” Cloud pried, trying to pull away to look at his face. But Sephiroth seemed to be glued to the crook of his neck, so he settled for simply holding him tighter. “What did he say?”
“Nothin’.” Sephiroth made a small, unidentifiable noise and shuddered.
Cloud never felt more helpless in his entire life, his stomach felt absolutely sick to see Sephiroth like this. And just whom did that trashy Turk Commander think he was to make his beloved General cry? Why was be busying himself smoking and schmoozing and holding stranger’s babies when his own son was feeling neglected?
Cloud almost growled when felt more wetness drip down his neck and into his shirt. “He must have said something!”
With a deep snort, Sephiroth pulled away from Cloud and turned to the mirror. He took a wad of toilet paper and began to dry his face. “No, he didn’t. He said ‘hey’, ‘how you been’, and that was it.”
Cloud looked at his swollen green eyes in the mirror, “Well what did you say to him?”
“Nothin’,” Sephiroth grumbled.
“Hrm… it’s a start, isn’t it? He’s in the living room. You should come out and talk to him.”
“No. He doesn’t give a shit.”
Cloud wrapped his arms around Sephiroth’s waist. “You shouldn’t let this yuckiness between you two sit any longer.”
Sephiroth caught Cloud’s eyes in the mirror and held them. “You didn’t talk to your dad on Christmas. Why?”
Cloud’s eyes in the mirror flicked away. “… It’s too late for me and my dad.”
“That’s such a cop out,” Sephiroth huffed. “You’re six-fuckin’-teen. I don’t think it’s too late for you to do anything. You oughta call him.”
“But twenty-two is way too ancient to repair your own bullshit?” Cloud challenged, but squeezed his lover’s waist tighter. “I’m on your side, but maybe you should have said more to him. Plenty has happened in your life since he was in the loop. Maybe he feels like he can’t ask about anything because then he’d have to ask about everything. There’s no easy way to have a casual conversation with someone after so much time has passed, you have to work at it.”
“How can I make these bags go away?” Sephiroth evaded, wiping at the puffiness around his eyes.
“Stop rubbing!” Cloud took a small guest towel that was laid on the counter and soaked it with cool water before pressing it over Sephiroth’s eyes.
He sat down on the toilet lid and held the rag against his face. “I guess I coulda said more. I just think he oughta start. He fuckin’ owes me.”
“You’ll wait forever, then,” Cloud predicted. “He seems just as stubborn as you are.”
Sephiroth peeked out from his rag, “You know, I get tired of everyone tellin’ me I’m stubborn all the time. I’m not really tha – ”
Cloud kept talking. “Oh yes you are Seph, you’re not easy to talk to sometimes. Especially if you’re in work mode, which is where you always see him. Maybe he thinks it’s too late. He probably feels like he’d be bothering you.”
“Right,” Sephiroth dismissed sarcastically from under the rag. “I don’t really need or appreciate your observational commentary. This isn’t my fault. And how would you even know anythin’ about it, anyways?”
“Then why, pray tell, did you ask me to come in here?” Cloud queried, his voice taking on the light, airy tone of pre-rage.
Sephiroth immediately felt guilty for taking his anger out on Cloud, who was really only trying to help. He slowly peered out from under the rag and found Cloud was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring down at him with blue fire dancing in his eyes.
“…I didn’t mean that,” Sephiroth said slowly, his eyebrows turning up slightly. “I’m pissed off, but not at you, babe.”
Cloud weighed the apology, and quickly decided that angry words weren’t worth being upset over. He reached out to stroke Sephiroth’s hair. “You’re lucky you’re so sexy.”
“Come here,” Sephiroth demanded, leaning back against the toilet and stretching out his legs as a seat offering. Cloud accepted and sat on his lap, then took over holding the cool rag against his lover’s swollen eyes. With hands freed, Sephiroth used both to wrap around Cloud’s waist.
“I feel better already,” Sephiroth smiled, and Cloud kissed him beneath the edge of the rag.
“Tell me everything that happened between you and Vincent. I mean really,” Cloud said when their lips came apart.
“I already toldja. On the day I graduated school, he told me point blank that he wasn’t my dad, and he drove away. We never talked after that,” Sephiroth said blandly. In his mind’s eye, his teenage self coughed on the road dust kicked up by Vincent’s Caddy.
“That’s exactly what you told me last time. There has to be more, so spill,” Cloud said. “I might understand everything better if you tell me all about what happened. You’ve got a minute before the puffiness will go away, anyways. Gimme the rag.”
Sephiroth uneasily handed Cloud the cloth and let him get up to run it under cold water again. He wrung it out before returning to Sephiroth’s lap and putting it back over his swollen eyes. “Talk.”
“Fine,” Sephiroth gave a lengthy, bored sigh. Cloud smiled slightly to realize it sounded just like one of Vincent’s lengthy, bored sighs.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
The day that Sephiroth graduated from the Shin-Ra Military Academy wasn’t the most exciting day of his life by a longshot. The entire school year prior he’d been training as a Junior SOLDIER, and reinventing everything that was expected of such a young member of the army. It was a life of nonstop action compared to his boring, sterile childhood.
He’d always had a bossy streak and found it easy to command his peers. He was nobody, but something about Sephiroth’s demeanor made them want to obey his orders. Even his higher ranking squad leaders seemed to like having his approval, and it was a trait that didn’t go unnoticed by the army superiors.
Sephiroth was intimidating, persuasive, handsome and above all, smart. His way of speaking hid his tactical brilliance at first, but throughout the year Sephiroth learned to smother his Midgar drawl. It was no surprise that he was selected for immediate promotion to a Second Class Sergeant – unheard of for a boy of sixteen and three quarters.
He’d always been eager in school, and so much younger than everyone else in his grade. He wasn’t exactly short, but his body still held the lankiness of youth. His eyes were still a big too large for his face, his teeth a little too sharp for his mouth, and his arms a little too long for his body. He had another couple of growth spurts coming to him, but in the meantime he still looked noticeably out of place in a Junior SOLDIER lineup.
He knew he was born to lead in the army, but it didn’t cheapen the thrill of success. Whether he was made to be the perfect SOLDIER or if he had earned it himself, he felt proud of himself. He knew the army was where he belonged. When he got the news about his immediate promotion a few days before graduation, he wasn’t shy at all about letting his friends and enemies alike know that he was going to be commanding them.
After graduation, he would be a man. And to go hand in hand with his new professional freedom, he planned to get his ass out of the lab.
There was no way in hell that he would be coming home to the labs as a fully-fledged SOLDIER. How was he supposed command squads on a tour of Wutai, then come back to a place where he had to ask permission to use the telephone? How was he supposed to sleep in the same tiny shoebox bedroom full of cameras? Not to mention the showers at the labs… the Academy had been his showering safe haven, there was no way he could jerk off at the labs knowing they were watching. Not just watching, but monitoring and taking notes.
Freedom was a necessity, but money was key. The labs had been funneling his cadet paychecks since the very beginning of his military school career.
It was all taken for the costs and upkeep of the S Project. Hojo had kept a tab on Sephiroth’s head since the day he was born, and handed it to him instead of his first cadet check.
The list included baby formula, bottles, diapers, clothes, bedding, shoes, underwear, babyfood, soap, shampoo, toothpaste, his crib, his first big-boy bed, his current bed, medical fees not associated with the funded project (band aids for cuts were included), and an extensive list of the damages Sephiroth had created throughout his life – ruined projects because he’d played with them, walls and equipment he’d destroyed during mako tantrums. At the end of the list, there were also the salaries of his round-the-clock nurses, caretakers and child psychologists to be considered.
All in all, Sephiroth owed the medical labs roughly a million gil.
“This is bullshit!” Sephiroth had crowed. “You’re makin’ me pay for diapers? Where tha fuck else was I supposed to shit and piss?”
“Ugh, Sephiroth,” one of the doctors touched his forehead where a vein bulged. “Please edit yourself before you speak.”
“And the nannies?!” Sephiroth continued anyways. “So when I was a baby, I guess I was supposed to find my own place to shit and wipe my own ass!? This is bogus. I ain’t payin'. I’ll fuckin' kill myself first!”
Dr. Hojo spoke up, “Of course we do not expect you to pay it all back, Sephiroth. I just thought it would be fitting to show you how much you actually owe to this lab for your upbringing. You’re still a minor, and you’re still under my care, so any money you bring in now should go towards your present upkeep. You grow exponentially more expensive the older you become.”
“I didn’t ask to be born, so suck it!” Sephiroth had crumpled the note and threw it at Hojo, who merely batted it away.
“Eloquently said, as usual,” he sighed impatiently. “If you’re through making a scene, we all have work to do.”
“But what about me?” Sephiroth had whined. “I wanna do stuff too!”
“Like what?” another doctor asked, and they all began to write excitedly.
Sephiroth had fallen back in his chair and gazed at the ceiling. Go to the movies. Order pizza. Get a cell phone. Save up for a car. Buy video games. The usual selfish, useless, and wasteful things a child his age wanted from life when presented with the notion of money.
“You have a phone and a television that you can use with permission in the lab break room,” Hojo had dismissed. “As for pizza and video games, the less you consume the better. And you’re barely thirteen, you don’t need to be thinking about cars, yet. In fact, I forbid it.”
“Well, great!” Sephiroth declared. “I’ll just go sit in my box until it’s time for me to come out again!”
“You have a testing session in five minutes, Sephiroth,” one of the doctors made the mistake of pointing out.
Sephiroth ignored him and stormed to his room, pushing over anything that wasn’t nailed down. If he was going to be held financially responsible for what he currently broke, he wanted to get his money’s worth.
And now, Sephiroth wasn’t even seventeen, yet. He was looking at another full year before he could experience any sort of freedom, and even then it would be limited. Cadets usually were emancipated after they graduated as full time army members, but not Sephiroth. The labs controlled everything about his life. He even had taken driver’s ed at the academy and earned a license, but had nothing to drive. Except for Vincent’s car of course, but only with him chain-smoking and nervous in the passenger side.
Yes, gil was the key to his freedom. His genius plan was to sneak into the records department and change the way he was paid by the Academy. If it was done from an Academy computer, Shin-Ra payroll might be suspicious. If it was done from the labs themselves, it would be totally kosher and Sephiroth would finally be able to support himself.
That’s where Vincent came in. If Sephiroth could just stay with him at first, he was sure that he could find his own place eventually. It would also give them a chance to get to know one another again, since Vincent had been so busy lately that they barely saw one another at all.
Sephiroth was absolutely sure that Vincent would say yes. All he needed was some money to offer to pay his portion of the bills. He needed to get control of his own funds, and he wanted to do it with as much sneaky espionage as possible.
A month before graduation, Sephiroth got up lazily from his bed in the middle of the night, rubbing his crotch in a semblance of urinary urges. Idly adjusting himself, he trotted sleepily to the lab’s bathroom. Once inside, he casually took a leak before he went to wash his hands. He knew the camera was in the soap dispenser, and purposely smeared bubbles all over it.
Then he took out a digital recorder where he’d made an hour long audio of himself sniffing, yawning, and idly humming – and occasionally catching his breath. In other words, the casual sounds of juvenile bathroom masturbation. Hopefully nobody would come knocking on the door, but it was a chance he’d take.
He left the recording playing and climbed up onto the sink. He moved one of the ceiling tiles to pull himself up into the upper ducts of the building. It was dusty up there and dark, but after a lifetime in the facility, Sephiroth knew approximately where he was going.
After a little bit of trial and error, Sephiroth finally found the Medical Records department. He located the motion sensor camera in the corner and attacked it from behind, breaking it delicately so that it still worked, but didn’t sweep back and forth. He left it recording the corner of the department that he wouldn’t be in.
He quietly lowered himself into the room and fired up one of the computers. He then pulled out his glasses and pushed them high up his nose.
Sephiroth had a friend near his age that was an intern computer jockey in the lab, a tattoo covered Junior Turk named Ricky. Slick Rick they called him in school, and he was interning in the labs to follow his dream of becoming a military weapons programmer. His goal was to press the button to detonate a hydrogen bomb.
Sephiroth thought that was just plain silly. He much preferred to be the hydrogen bomb.
But Ricky was interesting, and Sephiroth had spent that very evening draped backwards over a chair and watching him go through his record keeping duties. Sephiroth found it almost too easy to memorize Ricky’s user names and passwords. It was sneaky, and he didn’t particularly like using a friend like that, but it boiled down to the fact that Ricky was now a lab worker, and Sephiroth was a lab resident. If Rick had to take the fall for this, it was his own damn fault for letting his guard down.
Sephiroth put in Ricky’s password and was granted access to everything he wanted. He quickly found the account that was siphoning his money and changed the routing information to a new bank account that he’d opened for himself. Presto chango!
It was a little disappointing how easy his goals were accomplished. All that espionage would go to waste if he were to leave after two minutes. He sat there, drumming his fingers on the counter and staring at the screen. Anything he ever wanted to know was right at his fingertips.
He had a good, long chuckle at his school friends’ medical backgrounds, psychological evaluation results and disciplinary records. Apparently Angeal was so deathly allergic to mangos that he was actually on meds, he couldn’t even touch them without being rushed to the hospital. Mako would change that soon, of course.
When the novelty of that faded, Sephiroth wondered what Vincent was up to.
He quickly typed in his name, hoping to find his schedule and if he had kept his promise to try to attend the graduation. The labs usually kept stock of everyone’s schedules so they could ambush them into evaluations during their free time. Sephiroth smiled brightly when he saw that Vincent had strictly prohibited himself from any work obligation on that day. Poor dude probably needed a day off anyways, it was clear from his nonstop schedule that Vincent was married to the job.
Then Sephiroth became more curious. He looked at Vincent’s official badge pictures and laughed to himself. He was able to find catalogued photos all the way back to Vincent’s days as a cadet. There was not even a chance that Vincent wasn’t bullied for being a geek as a teenager.
Vincent had the cowlick, the zits, the glasses, and the awkwardness to complete a perfect nerd package. But the pictures almost immediately morphed from a total dweeb, to a very handsome teenager, to a confident young Turk.
Sephiroth explored a little more, and took a pause when he found his own name in Vincent’s medical files : Vincent Valentine will never be asked to submit to a standardized paternity test, but is one of the possible male genetic donors for the S Project.
That note in particular had been written over seventeen years ago by Lucretia Crescent.
Sephiroth read it over and over, and searched desperately through the entire file for more information, but found nothing more whatsoever about Vincent’s genetic “donation”. He then tried to access his own file, or his mother’s… but the security clearance was way too high for Slick Rick’s intern passcode.
How vile. How absolutely disgusting.
Sephiroth wondered if Vincent even knew. His heart pounded at the notion that he might have an actual living family member, a father. He felt little to no connection to his mother, but whatever. She was dead.
The point was… Vincent might be his dad! If Sephiroth had to pick anyone in the whole world he’d want to be his father, it was Vincent Valentine, no contest.
Sephiroth Valentine, he thought to himself. A real last name, not just a brand like Shin-Ra. And a real relationship to go with it, Vincent had always been someone he’d looked up to.
And even if the note from his mother had said “possible genetic donor”, it was already a done deal in Sephiroth’s heart. He would never think of Vincent again without the certainty that the man was his father.
Sephiroth quickly erased his virtual footprints around the Shin-Ra medical network and turned off the computer. He went back into the ceiling, and back to the bathroom where his tape was still playing undisturbed, and the camera was still obscured by bubbles. He flushed the toilet again, washed his hands again, and left without casting any suspicion on himself at all.
The week before graduation was like torture. Sephiroth had mentally checked out, and it was awful to have to sit in the classrooms, knowing in a week’s time he’d actually have rank. But he put up with it the best he could manage, and finally the day came where he donned a SOLDIER’s uniform instead of a school boy’s.
It was early morning, but Sephiroth couldn’t help but prance around the labs, making sure everyone saw him in the brand new threads. He loved the way it fit, the way it felt, the suspenders, the boots, the pockets… Sephiroth felt sexy in a SOLDIER’s uniform, and it was the first time in his life that he could honestly say he looked hot.
Once he was satisfied with the catcalls of the lab’s employees, he went to the phones to call up his friends.
“Do you have any idea what time is it?” Genesis had moaned sleepily.
“When are you going to be at the auditorium?” Sephiroth asked.
“At eleven. A whole three hours from now, asshole.” And with that, Genesis hung up on him.
Sephiroth called up the next number he knew. Angeal sounded a bit more awake on the other end. “I’m up, jerk. You just called Genesis.”
“How’d you know?”
“I’m right here next to him.”
Sephiroth whined, “You guys had a party last night? Why wasn’t I invited?”
“…Get a clue, Seph.”
“Huh?”
“See you in a while, kiddo,” was all Angeal would say about it, and hung up on him as well. Sephiroth continued his wake up call to his group of friends, ensuring that no future SOLDIER was left behind and that everyone was fully aware that this was graduation day.
When he was done making a nuisance of himself, he dialed Vincent’s number.
“Hey, SOLDIER,” Vincent answered with a clear smile in his voice.
Sephiroth was so giddy that his dad didn’t forget what day it was, he nearly bounced in his seat. “Hey! You’re gonna be there today, right?”
“Of course I am, there’s no way I’d miss it. What time is it at, again?”
“Eleven,” Sephiroth grinned. “You don’t have to be there for the whole damn thing, I’m sure they’ll yap for a billion hours.”
“I’ll stick around for all of it. You gonna party tonight?”
“Yup!” Sephiroth agreed. “But not until later. Maybe we could hang out this afternoon if you’re not busy?”
“That’d be real cool, Seph. I’m so proud of you.”
Those words carried Sephiroth throughout the rest of his morning. When it was finally time for the graduation ceremony, he was so wound up that he could barely keep himself still. As with all Shin-Ra activities, they loved their pomp and circumstance; the music and the speeches and the introductions and doling out great quotes for the press to eat up.
Anyone who was anyone spoke for about a hundred hours apiece. By the time they actually began calling the names of the new SOLDIERs to collect their diplomas and belts, Sephiroth was whining quietly like a nervous puppy.
When they finally got to the letter ‘S’, Sephiroth’s butt was hovering impatiently over his seat. After a few boys’ last names that began with ‘S’, the headmaster finally called, “Sephiroth.”
As with most of the names, there were cheers and good-natured jeers. The entire class had taken time to get over the fact that Sephiroth had no last name, and the additional oddity only served as one more way he stood out from the rest. His eyes, his hair, his age – the fact that he only bore a single name was dead last on the list of things that made him unique.
But Sephiroth loved the sound of his own name in that moment. Before it was done rolling of the headmaster’s tongue, he was trotting down the aisle and bopping up the steps to the stage. He accepted his diploma, formally greeted all of the Generals, and then finally, finally received his SOLDIER belt.
The diploma was toilet paper, and curtseying in front of the Generals meant nothing to him. The belt was the best part. Sephiroth couldn’t resist smelling the fresh leather as it was handed to him.
Then it was over. He was ushered back to the seats where the new SOLDIERs were, all helping one another into their iconic belts. Sephiroth sat with his school friends, and eventually had his own belt snapped into place. It completed his uniform, sealed the deal, made him totally and inarguably legit.
He was now Sergeant Sephiroth.
He spent the rest of the ceremony lost in his own thoughts, his fingers working over the details of his belt and suspenders. The rest of his new SOLDIER peers passed the stage, and then it was time for the future Turks. One by one they were called, but instead of a belt, they were presented with a black tie.
After that was the saddest part of graduation. Those who passed without honors, neither SOLDIERs nor Turks. They wore the plain blue uniforms of the regular army. There were more of these names than any other. Perhaps fifty new SOLDIERs were inducted that day, fifteen Turks, and roughly two hundred infantry soldiers – barely any higher in rank than a cadet.
Sephiroth frowned as the headmaster then gave a short speech in honor of Jeffrey Smithins. He didn’t know the boy personally, but apparently Jeff wanted to be a SOLDIER and had passed the physical exam with flying colors… but had failed his materia requirements. Materia use was half the job, and those with no aptitude for it had no place in SOLDIER.
Jeff’s roommate had found him dead in their bathroom five days prior to graduation. He’d overdosed on Tylenol, of all things. Suicide didn’t compute in Sephiroth’s mind. There was nothing worse than not existing, even if you had to start at the very bottom of a very steep military totem pole. It might have been easy from his lofty vantage point, but he knew for certain that determination was all it took to make one’s way through the ranks.
Determination, and lots and lots of ass kissing. Everyone had to pay their dues.
When the ceremony was over, the cluster of ex-students all but tore the building apart in their haste to get out into the world. Some met with parents and family, some sped away in large groups to be plastered on the eve of their adulthood, and some stuck around to brown nose with the higher ranking teachers and program directors.
Sephiroth spotted Vincent in the mess of humanity and pushed his way towards him.
Without thinking anything of it, he threw his arms over Vincent’s head and hugged him with an openness he hadn’t possessed since he was a small child. Vincent accepted the hug readily, and squeezed Sephiroth back with a growl of approval.
“You look pretty goofy in this uniform,” he teased, snapping Sephiroth’s suspenders.
“Yeah, I know,” Sephiroth agreed sheepishly, even though he privately felt like the sexiest thing on Earth. It was much cooler to just agree that he looked weird though, it was part of being a male.
“You look grown up, though,” Vincent amended. “You’re not a little kid anymore, hm? Makes me feel old.”
Sephiroth perked up slightly. “Well, you are old.”
“Remind me to tell you that when you’re 35,” Vincent muttered. Then he smiled and took the liberty of messing up Sephiroth’s perfectly sleek silver hair, and laughed when then self-conscious teen yowled and went about fixing it. “Let’s go eat.”
Sephiroth nodded happily, quickly forgetting about his hair. “I’m staaarved! I couldn’t even eat yesterday, I was buggin’ out!”
Vincent guided Sephiroth out into the parking lot to his car, and listened with a smile as the teenager babbled nonstop. He had already gotten his first mission to be completed the following week, and was telling Vincent every detail that he knew about it.
“Hey Seph, you aren’t exactly supposed to be tellin’ me any of this. I’m a Turk, remember?”
“Yeah whatever,” Sephiroth waved away any concern about confidentiality and kept chattering. Inside however, he was working towards creating a dialogue. More talking meant more words, and more chances to slip out two very important pieces of information to Vincent.
The first was that he now knew Vincent was his father. The second was that Sephiroth wanted to move in immediately.
Vincent slipped edgewise into Sephiroth’s talking, “Hey, you wanna go change before we go out?”
Sephiroth wanted to never take off his SOLDIER uniform again. But on the other hand, he was planning on staying out all night with his friends anyways, and a change of clothes would be wise. He could eat with Vincent and then just go to the party straight after with no lab interference to stop him. “Yeah, sure. It’ll just take a sec.”
Vincent drove to the lab entrance and parked. He followed Sephiroth inside, noticing with a smirk how his footsteps became quicker and lighter once within the lab’s walls. They silently snuck to his room and Sephiroth began to grab clothes together.
Sephiroth suddenly got a thought. He owned almost nothing. He could totally pack all of his clothes into the bag right then and there, and go home with Vincent that very night. He might never have to reaurn to the lab again… ever.
That notion was so intoxicating that Sephiroth nearly whispered, “…Vincent?”
He looked up at that. Sephiroth rarely said his full name, if ever. “Yeah?”
“…You knew my mom, didn’t you?”
“Well sure,” Vincent nodded, and took a seat on Sephiroth’s bed. He looked up at the teenager, seeing a swirl of radical emotions in his green cat eyes. He of course had no idea where they were stemming from, and wrongly assumed the boy finally wanted to know about his mother. “She was a really great lady, Seph. You remind me so much of her.”
“So…” Sephiroth then continued, caring little to hear about the woman he murdered as a newborn. As revenge from beyond the grave, she left him in the lab. They were even as far as Sephiroth was concerned. “How did you know her exactly?”
Vincent paused. “She um… well, she was my good friend.”
“Like your girlfriend?”
Vincent chuckled, and it was a private joke with himself and a women who was long gone. “…That depends on what day of the week you asked her. Sometimes she was, sometimes she wasn’t. Most of the time she wasn’t. She was just my friend.”
“But sometimes she was your girlfriend,” Sephiroth prodded.
“Yes…sometimes she was.”
“Did you live together?” Sephiroth asked.
“…Yeah, I moved in with her eventually,” Vincent answered, beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable with where this conversation was heading.
“So you had slept with my mom a lot?”
“I don’t really feel right talkin’ about this.” Vincent suddenly stood up, and edged around Sephiroth to the door. “Let’s go get some pizza.”
“You’re my dad, aren’t you?”
Vincent froze. With his incriminating silence, Sephiroth became more convinced than ever. He was smiling, looking victorious and hastily throwing clothes into his schoolbag.
“Vin, I dunno if you knew or not! You probably didn’t, right? It’s awesome though, isn’t it? I mean, I’m not gonna start callin’ you dad or anything, and it’s not like you have to do anything extra, either. But I was thinkin’ that you could let me stay with you for a while – ”
“What?” Vincent finally balked.
Sephiroth turned to him with a radiant smile. “Just until I get my own place! I mean, I’m a grown up now, right? It’s stupid for me to have to live here, knowin’ what we know now. And it’s not like I’m expectin’ you to put up with me for nothin’ just because you’re my dad, I’ll pay rent and stu – ”
“I’m not your dad.”
Sephiroth’s smile faded slightly. His eyes became a bit duller, but he kept his positive energy flowing. “…Like I said… I don’t hafta call you that.”
“Seph, I dated your mom. I was young and stupid, she was older and hot, and we had a thing. But buddy… there’s no way I could be your dad. I’m sorry. I’m just not.”
With that, Vincent turned to leave. He needed to smoke, and he needed to be out of Sephiroth’s tiny room, and out of the oppressive lab altogether. For the first time in many years, he had the sudden feeling that Lucretia was going to walk into sight any moment, turn a corner and brighten as she saw him.
He had to leave.
Sephiroth was stunned at Vincent’s abrupt retreat. The vision he had created in his head of Vincent and his mother had been decidedly more romantic than a science department MILF and a young, horny Turk. He thought maybe their love was a secret affair… something pretty.
Sephiroth wasn’t so easily distracted from his goal though. He grabbed his belongings and ran after Vincent. He found him striding towards the exit and rushed to his heels.
“…So what, then? I mean… it doesn’t matter to me if you really are my dad or not. I always kinda felt like you were. Like even if you’re technically not, you still are to me inside, because you’ve always been there for me since I was little. We’ve always gotten along, too. Is it so wrong to feel that way?”
“Yes,” Vincent stated firmly. “I’m your friend, Seph. I met you when you were a baby. You’re a cute, funny kid. I care about you. You can’t go tryin’ to make it more than what it is.”
“…So can I still stay with you?” Sephiroth asked anyways.
"No.”
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Because why!"
"Wait for it.. because I said so! That's what dads are supposed to say, right?"
Sephiroth growled, "Please. Don't treat me like I'm stupid."
"I'd say you're actin’ pretty stupid, kiddo."
"It's not stupid! You are my dad!" Sephiroth argued, angry beyond reason that his feelings for Vincent were being received so poorly. Were genetics really everything when it came to family?
They both simultaneously winced against the sun as Sephiroth followed Vincent outside. He squinted over at the white headed teenager, who in response flashed one of those huge, charming salesman smiles that only he could conjure. Despite himself, Vincent had to grin back, but then wished he hadn't when genuine hope sparked in Sephiroth's eyes.
"Listen to yourself. How could that be possible?"
"You had unprotected intercourse with my mother roughly around the time of my conception." Sephiroth stated clinically.
"Oh, pleeease! What are you even talkin’ about? We're talkin’ about nothing. You don't even look like me.. We are talking about nothing!"
Vincent dropped down into the driver's seat, and gave a long-suffering groan as Sephiroth hung childishly on the open car door, "I won't bother you, Vin, I promise. I have my own money, now. I'll buy all my own food and I'll keep everything clean. I swear! And I won't ever have friends or girls over when you're not home. Did you know I can cook?"
"Off."
Sephiroth released the door and it slammed shut. Vincent rolled down the window and stared at Sephiroth.
"…Why not?" Sephiroth finally whimpered.
"Seph, I don't know what the hell you've gotten yourself convinced of, or how. But I am not your father."
"Bullshit," Sephiroth drawled slowly and deliberately.
"Watch your mouth."
Both men glared at each other through the window.
"There's a chance," Sephiroth pleaded.
The engine rumbled to life.
"No. There's not." And in the way that he taught Sephiroth last summer, he threw the car into reverse, and squealed out of sight.
Sephiroth stood in the empty parking space, wearing the SOLDIER uniform he had worked so hard to earn.
Openly denied.
In full SOLDIER garb, in broad daylight, Sephiroth cried.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”
This obviously wasn’t what the General was expecting to be said after such a heartfelt and emotionally painful revelation. He was too surprised to even speak, and felt himself blush hotly under his blonde lover’s blue eyed scrutiny.
Cloud shook his head. “This has gone on for too long, and for no reason. You’re going out there, and you’re going to say something to him. Fix this.”
“I thought you were on my side,” Sephiroth frowned.
“I am on your side. Yours is just the lesser of two stupids.”
Sephiroth sighed through his nose. “…You may have a point.”
“I can’t believe two grown men have ignored each other for so long for no reason! Vincent was obviously heartbroken and surprised, he didn’t actually mean any of that! And you could have found a better way of telling him than just blurting it out with your bags packed and ready to move in! Were you fucking crazy as a teenager?”
“Alright already, shut up!” Sephiroth grumpily agreed. After recounting his experiences out loud, maybe … maybe it wasn’t such a painful thing, afterall. Maybe his teenage self had overreacted just a tad. Maybe he’d grown up enough to see that.
That realization didn’t make anything easier, though. Sephiroth leaned on the counter and thought to himself, wondering what words could possibly convey how hurt and rejected he had felt that afternoon so long ago.
Cloud poked his arm. “Hurry up.”
“Quit bossin’ me around!” Sephiroth snipped at him.
Sephiroth entered the living room and scanned around. Vincent wasn’t there.
He took a breath of relief, before he saw movement on Julie and Rhonda’s back porch. They owned a small backyard garden in the middle of the city, and through the back door window Sephiroth saw that Vincent was outside smoking cigarettes among other nicotine addicted Turks.
He made his way to the patio door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob for a moment before opening it. Their garden area was barely ten feet by five feet, and Sephiroth’s large presence made the lower ranking Turks stand up straighter. He marched into the small area and stood in front of his father.
“I need to talk to you.”
Vincent blew his smoke away from Sephiroth and put out the cigarette. “Okay.”
“You’re a fuckin’ asshole,” Sephiroth hissed before he could even think about what he was saying. The words flowed out of his mouth like an involuntary bodily function.
The entire outside garden posse froze. Then all snapped their heads in Vincent’s direction to hear his reaction to an outright attack from one of the SOLDIER Generals.
Vincent merely paused before placing a new cigarette between his lips. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” Sephiroth agreed. “You shoulda just stayed away if you didn’t want me.”
Cloud moved to the side as a small sea of suited Turks immediately snubbed their cigarettes and migrated inside like a worried flock of crows. They probably thought it was some sort of lover’s quarrel. Cloud closed the patio door when they had all flowed inside, but ducked below the window and pressed his ear to the door to eavesdrop.
To Cloud’s surprised, three younger Turks did the same, almost crowding him entirely out of listening zone. Cloud elbowed one of them. “Who the fuck are you guys?”
“Shut up and listen,” the boy answered, and ripped open a bag of chips and began stuffed them into his face, chewing softly so the sound inside his mouth wouldn’t drown out the conversation.
“Wait!” the pudgiest Turk said, and brought out a listening device. He attached a sucker to the door and began passing out earbuds.
“This is private!” Cloud insisted, but took some of the chips and a pair of earbuds.
“I’m Marty, and these are my partners Jack, and Cole. We’ve been watching this develop for months Cloud, and you are not taking this from us,” the third young Turk declared and leaned on his teammate’s shoulders for balance.
“How do you know my na – ?!” Cloud whispered suspiciously, but all three young Turks shushed him simultaneously.
Zack was passing through the hall when he caught the four of them crouched by the door. He crawled up next to them and peeked outside to see what was so interesting. “Oh hey! Look who’s finally talking it out!”
Cloud groaned, “Not you, too!”
“Pass me some earphones!” Zack cried to the Turks, and Cloud handed him one of his to shut up him.
Vincent was talking so quietly that only pieces of what he was saying were audible through the door, “…me I wanted to stay away. Seein’ you … was hell for me. I was never … supposed to and that’s how it… wanted it.”
“You sure didn’t do jack shit about it,” Sephiroth was arguing loudly. “So you shoulda just let me rot, not come around just to ease whatever bullshit guilt you had about some old girlfriend’s kid.”
“Nothin’ about goin’ to see you eased any guilt I had, trust me,” Vincent huffed with a little more volume, his voice not raised but his tone stressed. “Nothin’ about you has ever made me feel good. I hated goin’ there to see you.”
All five eavesdroppers gasped.
“So why didn’t you just stay away?” Sephiroth repeated, his voice wavering slightly. “You let them have me, so why not just stay away from me?”
“I didn’t let them have you.”
“Yes, you did,” Sephiroth hissed. “It doesn’t matter if you’re my father or not, I was a little kid. How could you leave me there for even one day knowin’ what they were doin’ to me?”
“They would have killed us,” Vincent said point blank and devoid of emotion. “You aren’t that special, Seph. They can make another one if they really wanted to. And Turks like me are a dime a dozen. We wouldn’t have been missed.”
The eavesdropping men all made guttural noises, looking at each other with pained expressions.
Outside in the garden, Sephiroth remained with his feet planted wide apart. Despite his confident stance, he was looking at the ground. He didn’t say anything immediately, and seemed unable to respond.
Inside he knew the corporation that he was born into was indeed that cruel. The labs considered him important enough to create in the first place. They wouldn’t have let him go freely at the suggestion of a Turk, especially if that Turk were his father. And if Vincent had kidnapped him, it would have been death for the both of them.
Vincent let the silence stretch. He would have gladly lost his life in an effort to save Lucretia’s child… if he truly believed that his freedom was something that she would have wanted. The ugly truth was that she signed her child’s life over to the labs. That was what she wanted. It would have made her proud of both of them to remain unconnected, for Sephiroth to remain true to his course, for Vincent to succeed in the ranks of Turk.
Right?
Sephiroth finally spoke softly. “I shouldn’t say anything, then. Can’t change anything. Nothin’ about it satisfies me. It never will.”
“Check out the bigger picture, General,” Vincent pointed out somewhat sarcastically. “For a really weird little kid, you’ve done alright for yourself.”
Sephiroth frowned harder. “You didn’t even say anything to me when I was inaugurated.”
Vincent dropped his eyes to the floor. “I was there…I wanted to.”
“You didn’t.”
“What do you want from me?” Vincent’s posture slipped. “You’re a General, you’ve got money, you’ve got a decent group of friends. Lushes mostly, but good people. And apparently you’ve got a boyfriend, right?”
“You got a problem with that?” Sephiroth murmured, lifting his eyes to meet Vincent’s.
“Doesn’t affect me,” Vincent said flippantly. “Just didn’t think you’d turn out like that.”
“Well I did. What business is it of yours?”
“And it’s your business why I made the bad decisions that I made twenty years ago?” Vincent crossed his arms calmly.
Bad decisions. Sephiroth smiled brightly despite his urge to drop a tidal wave of righteously pissed off flame upon the entire city. “I love him. And I fuck him every chance I get. Just like you fucked my mother.”
Vincent’s red eyes flared. “Don’t.”
“Would you rather I was straight and pumpin’ my shit into some crazy scientist bitch?” Sephiroth pressed on. “My mom must have been a fuckin’ whack job to do this shit she did.”
“You didn’t know her, Seph,” Vincent growled dangerously. “Don’t disrespect her like that.”
“Not only was my mom a slut, she was a talentless slut. That smartest thing she ever did was realize she couldn’t do anything else for science but spread her fuckin’ legs and get knocked up.” Sephiroth laughed, suddenly felt elated to shit all over the memory of the woman who abandoned him in the labs, signed his body and life away to Shin-Ra before he was born, who never once showed him any sign of her love in this life or any other.
The General found himself horrified at the intensity of his sorrow where she was concerned. He didn’t want to explore it, he wanted to ignore it as he had been for twenty-two years. But he couldn’t stop himself, and his laughter quickly transformed into dry sobs. “I’m glad she’s dead. I’m glad I never met her. I hate her.”
Any anger Vincent might have felt dissipated at the sight of Sephiroth in such turmoil. He took a step forward, but Sephiroth quickly covered his face and rubbed his eyes furiously, physically threatening his own body to not cry again. Without further hesitation, Vincent hugged him.
He wasn’t hugged back, but the man that his little boy had become leaned against him slightly.
“She woulda loved you, Seph,” Vincent finally said, but he wasn’t sure if it was true or not.
Vincent couldn’t help but wonder what her reaction would have been to see her boy in flesh and blood and not an idea on a piece of paper. He couldn’t imagine Lucretia, the warm, funny, possessive woman that she was, let her own child live like Sephiroth had. Seeing that beautiful baby with his bright blonde hair and big green eyes and his cute little mouth full of sharp teeth… there’s no way she wouldn’t have fallen in love with him.
Vincent had, after all. But he knew he wasn’t Sephiroth’s father. He also knew there was some sort of mystical crazy science bullshit going on that he was never fully allowed to know about.
But he loved Lucretia, and he trusted her. He wished he could have given her the child she was so desperate to have. If only to spare her the discomfort of being the lab’s… well. She was with almost every man there, on schedule, trying to procreate their precious specimen S.
But she was having a hard time conceiving, and the process was being drawn out much farther than anyone would have hoped. Some of the unnamed men in the lab were becoming very accustomed to this schedule, and she spent most of her nights in tears.
Vincent went to see her in the lab every chance he got, if only to remind the entire facility that this was for science, and that this woman had a claim staked on her. Vincent had the idea in his heart that love helped create children. He asked her to stop, to just let him be the one.
She said, “That’s not a good idea.”
“Why isn’t it?” Vincent had pressed. “You don’t like fuckin’ those disgusting – ?”
“I don’t want to have this fight again. I’m not fucking anybody. I’m receiving hastily delivered genetic donations. And you know I don’t enjoy it,” she explained, wrapping her arms around herself defensively. “There’s just no way I’d want you to be the father of this specimen.”
“Why?” Vincent asked, just one more time.
“There’s just no point in getting attached to it,” she answered, shrugging her shoulders sadly.
Vincent spared Sephiroth this explanation, though. There were some things that he just didn’t need to know. His own mother’s cold indifference was one of them.
Sephiroth sniffed and moved away from Vincent, his eyes dry. “Doesn’t matter if she’d love me or not. She’s dead. And if she weren’t, I’d still hate her.”
“Fair enough,” Vincent rationalized. “Do you hate me, Seph?”
“That’s a stupid question.” Sephiroth looked away. “…Do you ha – ?”
Vincent didn’t let him get the foolish question out of his mouth. “You make me mad as hell sometimes but you’re… I dunno. You’re just my kid.”
“Why didn’t you just let me stay with you?” Sephiroth finally spat out.
Vincent leaned against the house. “I was scared.”
“Of what?” Sephiroth pressed.
“…Disappointing your mother,” Vincent admitted, then quickly changed the subject. “It’s not like you needed me, anyways. You landed on top, and that’s fuckin’ cool, Seph. You probably did better without my help.”
“I woulda liked havin’ you around, though.” Sephiroth was tired of standing and leaned on his haunches against the house.
“Well why didn’t you just come talk to me?” Vincent asked, and held out his pack of cigarettes to offer one.
“I was waitin’ for you to come say you were sorry,” Sephiroth admitted loftily, and plucked one out of the pack.
“Well, I was waitin’ for you to come tell me it was okay to say I was sorry,” Vincent huffed. “You’re a pretty scary dude, now.”
Sephiroth refused to smile, although he acknowledged the fact that the man had attempted to make a joke. He accepted Vincent’s lighter and lit the cigarette in his mouth – trying not to let on to the fact that he had never smoked before in his life. “Did you just feel like you didn’t need to see me anymore ‘cause I grew up?”
“You might be taller, but you still look like a little kid to me,” Vincent admitted. “But you’ve got your own shit goin’ on. You don’t need me to look after you, anymore.”
“I never needed that from you. But it was nice to get visited once in a while.” Sephiroth didn’t drag from the lit cigarette, he let it hang from his fingertips and watched it burn. “It was basically…like… the highlight of my childhood.”
Vincent swallowed. “I never knew what I was doin’ with you. I couldn’t take you home with me when you were little, but I wanted to try and make you as happy as I could, anyways.”
Sephiroth made a thoughtful sound and tapped a bit of ash from his unsmoked cigarette to the ground. “It wouldn’t have taken away from my happiness to have thought that you were my dad. Even if you weren’t.”
Vincent slumped slightly. “I don’t even know why you wanna talk to me.”
“No, you don’t get out that easy,” Sephiroth muttered up at him. “Don’t put it on me, because you need to let me know if you want to be in my life.”
Vincent exhaled and looked at the smoggy Midgar sky. “I couldn’t be your dad when you were little, Sephiroth… I couldn’t pretend to be your dad in my head and leave you in that lab, and still stay sane. I wish I could have been. I always wanted to be your dad.”
“You are my dad,” Sephiroth told him dryly.
Vincent closed his eyes. “But I’m not.”
“…But you still are.”
“I’m sorry,” Vincent said after a moment.
“You should be,” Sephiroth said, and snubbed out the cigarette.
“You gonna forgive me, or are you gonna be a dick about it?”
“I’m gonna be a dick.” Sephiroth finally smiled, but attempted to hide it behind his hand. Vincent made a fist and threw it against his arm, which resulted in a thick smack upon rock hard flesh.
“Jesus Christ, you got beefy.” Vincent made a disgusted face as he began to squeeze Sephiroth’s biceps. “I don’t buy it, this is some sort of muscle suit, isn’t it? You’re not juicin’ are you? Flex for me.”
“No!” Sephiroth crossed his arms. Unfortunately, Cloud had dressed him in a somewhat revealing sleeveless shirt, and there was nowhere for his impressive physique to hide.
Vincent wasn’t letting him get away with it. “Look at you! You’re wearin’ a little girl’s shirt to show off for your boyfriend, and you’re bashful now? Bullshit!”
“Stop lookin’ at me!” Sephiroth whined. “You’re just jealous!”
“Jealous?” Vincent snorted. “I should kick your ass for that.”
“No way!” Sephiroth laughed egotistically. “You’re old and brittle. I’d put you in a wheelchair where you belong.”
“Care to back up that statement?”
“Yeah.”
“Good thing we’re already outside,” Vincent declared.
Behind the door, Zack, Cloud, and the three young Turks slowly and discreetly moved to their knees to see what was happening outside to accompany the noise of play fighting. Cloud smiled as he watched Sephiroth pummel Vincent like a playful puppy, and Vincent beat the crap out of his son in good spirits.
Cloud smiled at Zack and whispered, “You’re psychic about the past. Tell me if Vincent is really Sephiroth’s dad or not.”
Zack tilted his head and stared without seeing. Cloud watched in fascination as Zack’s icy blue eyes went out of focus. “Well, one things for sure – Vincent and Seph’s totally hot mom shared a very healthy sex life!”
“Jesus! That’s not what I wanna know!” Cloud laughed.
Zack continued to stare at Vincent. “…Lucy was secretive, even from herself.”
“Don’t be cryptic,” Cole cut in impatiently, thirsty for the truth. “Tell us the verdict. Father or not?”
Zack’s eyes came back into focus and he shrugged happily. “I have no idea!”
“Lame,” Jack declared. “What kind of psychic are you?”
“A crappy one,” Zack admitted, and produced a peanut butter cookie from his pocket and munched it. “Vincent’s favorite position is piledriver, that’s all I can see.”
“Gross!” everyone cried simultaneously, except for Jack who bellowed, “Yeah!”
Suddenly Sephiroth and Vincent stopped playing. Vincent hugged Sephiroth’s neck and began to lead him to the door, talking about getting a beer. The five eavesdroppers fell to their hands and knees and scuttled across the carpet towards the living room.
Tseng was making his way to the bathroom and was confronted with the hastily crawling posse. He pressed himself to the wall to allowed them to travel past him like a family of crabs. He decided to just not ask.
They hurried into the living room and all fell onto a couch moments before Vincent and Sephiroth entered together. Sephiroth gave Cloud a suspicious smile and the couchful of men all smiled back at him. Zack was pressed into Cloud who was shoved in next to the three baby Turks who were constantly tailing him.
Sephiroth suspected that somehow his lover, Zack, and the nosy Turks probably heard every word that was said outside. Cloud made his guilt apparent by showing no questions on his face, only approval. Maybe someday he’d learn how to school his features to hide his sneakiness, but Sephiroth hoped he never did.
He looked over at Vincent, who elbowed him farewell before joining a group of his peers in the next room. Sephiroth then approached Zack, and sat down on top of him.
While the brunet squealed and struggled under Sephiroth’s considerable weight, he looked casually at Cloud. “You were right.”
“Music to my ears,” Cloud gloated, and leaned up to kiss him.
Marty, Cole and Jack all bubbled in private excitement that their plan to get their Commander and the General in each other’s path had finally worked. They each opened up a can of beer, and gave each other cheers on an operation well accomplished.
Eventually the newborn babies were exhausted and the hostesses were tired of keeping everyone quiet. The newborns were put to bed upstairs, the baby monitors were turned up to full volume, and the real party began.
Sephiroth spent most of the time talking shop with the other SOLDIERs, while Cloud got heavily involved in a drinking game with the baby Turks. It was a variation on beer pong, except with hard liquor and shot glasses. All four were stinking drunk by the time they realized the ping pong ball was too big to even fit in the glasses. Aerith spent her time with the new mothers, noshing on fattening snacks while trading diet tips. The Turks hung around like bats, darkening the corners of the room, but making everyone in the house feel somewhat warmed by their presence.
As the night drew to a close, most of the partygoers had left and the babies had woken up for an evening feeding. Cloud was blitzed and unable to keep his hands off of Sephiroth, so Rhonda threw them and everyone else out.
“Come see me again soon,” Rhonda said, kissing Sephiroth’s cheek repeatedly before waving him and his drunken blond boyfriend outside.
“Bye, guys!” Zack called to them, before he and Aerith backed out of the driveway and split.
“Hop up,” Sephiroth ordered, not wanting to have to chase a drunken Cloud through the streets on the way home. Cloud cooed wordlessly as he clumsily climbed up onto Sephiroth’s back and wrapped his arms around his neck. They only made it to the end of Rhonda’s walkway before one of the departing cars stopped, and Vincent hopped out.
“Hey!” he said breathlessly, his face blushed with alcohol. “What’s your number, now?”
Sephiroth was a little taken aback. He let Cloud hold onto him while he pulled out his phone and exchanged telephone numbers with Vincent, his heart pounding all the while.
“I’ll see you later,” Vincent said, looking into Sephiroth’s eyes. It was impossible to hug him without also involving Cloud who was nearly passed out on his back, so he wrapped an arm around the both of them. “Be good. Give the dumb kid something to eat when you get home.”
“I will,” Sephiroth nodded, still not fully adjusted to speaking with Vincent again, but well on his way. “Later!”
“Later! Oh hey, there’s another Slayer movie comin’ out in a few weeks, you in?” Vincent called over his shoulder, and squawked as his ride began to roll away without him.
“Definitely,” Sephiroth laughed as he watched Vincent run to catch up to the car. He was forced to dive through the back window, and it swerved out of sight.
“Sephirothh,” Cloud slurred against his ear before rubbing a messy kiss across his cheek. “Arre we goingg home, now?”
“Yup. Hang on tight.” Sephiroth trotted happily down the sidewalk with his arms secure under Cloud’s legs, and the sounds of his lover’s gentle snoring in his ear.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
The next day when Cloud had finally recovered from his hangover, he warmed himself a cozy spot next to Sephiroth on the couch.
They were tucked beneath a blanket and face to face with a full evening of Midgar’s Next Top Model. They both had beverages and snacks readily at hand, and had donned loose pajamas and clean socks. They literally could not have been more comfortable, and it was the very essence of what they intended the rest of their vacation to be.
Cloud kept shifting though, sighing quietly and looking at the clock.
“What is it?” Sephiroth finally asked, lifting his head from Cloud’s shoulder when he wiggled yet again.
Cloud released a puff of air. “You think it’s too late to call Nibelheim?”
Sephiroth shrugged. “I dunno. Just call and see if she picks up.”
But it wasn’t Cloud’s mother that he wanted to call. He looked at the clock again. It would have been close to nine at night over there, and he didn’t know anything about the person he wanted to speak with. Their schedule, their life, or whether they would even answer.
Cloud kissed between Sephiroth’s eyes. “I’m gonna go call in your room, okay?”
“Kay,” Sephiroth said, although his attention was more focused on the television. Cloud got up and Sephiroth seemed uncomfortable without something to lean on. He grumpily began to recalibrate himself, and without looking up he murmured, “…Hurry.”
Cloud smiled, and made the long walk down the hallway before he closed himself into Sephiroth’s bedroom. He paced for a moment before sitting down on the bed. He tapped his socked feet against the floor, wondering what to do.
He pulled his phone from his pocket and decided the first baby step was opening it. He stared at a new photo of himself and Sephiroth from the party the night before. Sephiroth’s long arm stretched out to take the picture, and both of Cloud’s arms wound around his neck. Their expressions were soft, open, happy.
Cloud rubbed his thumb against the image, wiping away a stray smear off the screen. He then sorted through the menus, to his father’s phone number.
His other thumb caressed the send button for a moment, before slowly pressing and releasing it. Cloud quickly tucked his legs beneath him and hunkered down as he listened to electricity connect the call.
After a few tones of ringing, the phone was rather cheerfully answered. “Yello!”
Cloud winced a little. He would never answer a phone ‘yello’. How could his own father answer a phone that way? The man sounded content, confident, and like he was having a great day.
Cloud wanted nothing more than to ruin all of that. “Father?”
“…Cloud,” the voice answered softly, and it was evident that the man was severely taken aback.
Good. Cloud was glad to be so easily granted the superior footing. “Yeah, it’s me. Are you busy?”
“No, not at all.” His father seemed to be tripping over himself. “How are you?”
What a question.
“Let me start at the beginning,” Cloud took a deep breath. “Since the day you left when I was eleven months old, my mother worked every single day to raise me on her own.”
His father said nothing, so he slowly continued. “She worked her ass off, worked so much harder than she had to because you weren’t there to help her. I waited for you, thinking you might come back and help her, make her happy, make us a real family… but you never did.”
“Cloud, please don’t – ”
“Forgive me for interrupting, father. But as I was saying, I grew up a nervous wreck. Nibelheim will always be my home, but they called my family trash, my mother a slut, and me a bastard. And to be honest, it’s all true. And to top it all off, I’m gay. Really, really gay.”
Cloud shamelessly continued, righteous anger boiling his words, “So I left town to join the Shin-Ra army because being surrounded by a few hundred thousand men sounded a lot better than being trapped in Nibelheim. Since I’ve come here, I’ve made friends. You can’t understand how huge that is for me. People actually like me here, and I sometimes don’t even know how to operate because of that. I’m doing well in school, and I enjoy being in the army more than I ever dreamed I would. And as if that weren’t wonderful enough, I’ve fallen in love with the most wonderful man in the world. So now, not only do I have my beautiful mother back at home, I have friends, a boyfriend that I would die for… an actual future. For the first time in my life I feel like I belong somewhere.
“I know I’m still young, and my accomplishments don’t sound like much to you. But goddamnit, it’s the difference between hating yourself and the idea that maybe you’re not so bad after all. It’s thinking that maybe your life is worth getting up every day for.”
Cloud took a few breaths, and in the absence of his voice his father spoke. “I’m so happy you found something you love to do, Cloud. I’m glad you found people that respect you, because I know you deserve it.”
Cloud didn’t need to hear that from him, and was heated enough to nod his head in agreement. “You’re damn right I deserve it.”
Then his father had the nerve to laugh. “You sound just like your mother.”
“Good! I hope I sound like her. I hope I sound like a mountain goat fucking piece of Nibelheim trash to you. That’s what I am and a lot of people think it’s pretty cool. You know, some people actually do think about me every day, they don’t just say it in letters with a fucking check because they’re guilty. They call me, and actually care about what’s up with me, they wouldn’t be satisfied by me just saying I’m fine.”
“I tried Cloud,” his father interjected. “I do think about you, and I do care. I wish you were still here – ”
“Well I’m not there anymore! And I can’t believe you went to my mother’s house with your other kids! How dare you? My mother didn’t need to see you, or them, and neither did I! You should have stayed under whatever rock you crawled under fifteen years ago. You never even saw my first birthday, and you wanna tell me you think about me every single day? That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard! I think you’re a….”
Cloud trailed off when the door quietly opened, and Sephiroth poked his head into the room with a terribly concerned face. It was then that Cloud realized he had been shouting.
Not crying, though. Just shouting. Cloud closed his mouth. When Sephiroth saw that he seemed relatively unharmed, he backed out gently closed the door to give him privacy.
“…What do you think I am?” his father asked somberly from the other side of the connection.
“I dunno,” Cloud admitted softly. “I don’t even know you. Who are you? Where the hell have you been all this time?”
“…Well. My name is Aiden. I’m thirty–four. I’m not a smart man, but I’m considerably more intelligent than I was when I was eighteen and met your mother. I fell in love with her, and we made you. I moved to Nibelheim from the main continent, a little suburb of Junon called Stereoheim. The next eleven months were… inarguably the happiest months of my life. I loved being a dad, and I loved your mother. We were going to be married after your first birthday, but me being the… foolish child I used to be… I decided that another tour with my band was more important than April.”
“What band?” Cloud interrupted, wondering if the family sacrifice might have been well worth it.
“We were called Midwater Excellency.”
“I’ve never even heard of you guys…” Cloud pointed out in disappointment.
“I know. We never actually got signed, and the tour I left your mother for never even panned out. I wanted to come back to you so badly, Cloud. But I was too… I felt like my failure would only be a real failure if I had to face your mother again. And the idea of having to eat crow in front of your grandfather was unbearable to me then.”
“Grandpa? You didn’t get along with him?” Cloud laughed a little. Nobody had gotten along with Cloud’s grandfather during his long life. Joseph Strife had been one of the roughest, most foul-mouthed hooligans that Nibelheim had ever seen. He was a bitter old bastard, and the first person to ever call Cloud a faggot in his life.
But on the other hand, he would always hold Cloud on his knee and not allow him to get away from his bitter old whiskey kisses. Cloud remembered sitting in his lap and watching reruns of Matlock, sneaking sips of his beer and eating peanuts. Cloud loved his grandpa, especially because he always turned on the charm and treated the Strife women like they were princesses – and happy Strife women meant happy times in general.
He had been a good man at heart, but Cloud could definitely see why a failed boyfriend might never return to face that infamous wrath. His father sounded a little sheepish on the other line, “It wasn’t just your granddad. I could have dealt with him… I wish… well. I should have just sucked it up.”
“… So what did you do?” Cloud asked. “You had more kids really fast.”
“I didn’t cheat on you and your mom, Cloud. I went back home, went to university for business like my parents wanted me to. I met the women I ended up marrying at school on the first day of classes… I missed you so bad, Cloud. I missed having a baby around…”
“…So you made a new one?”
“I can’t rationalize it,” his father said, helplessness sneaking into his voice. “I can’t make it right. I did horribly at my duties to you and your mom.”
“…Were you a good dad to your other kids?” Cloud asked morbidly.
“I don’t know,” his father muttered. “I tried to be.”
Cloud felt ill. His heart wanted justice, but there was just no getting it. Much like Cher, he wished he could turn back time but all they had was now. A shitty past and no guaranteed future. Just now.
And in the now, Cloud had been abandoned by his father, and almost immediately replaced. That sucked. But the man was asking for forgiveness.
If Cloud hadn’t signed up for the army, if he hadn’t met his beloved Sephiroth, or Cameron, or Zack, or any of the other people that made his world more enjoyable, he might have shriveled at the thought of forgiving this man. If he had been there the night that his father and stepbrothers had come by, unshowered, uncombed and reading music magazines in his room in his boxer shorts… if the universe would have been cruel enough to force him to face his father and his other sons like that… no future, a lousy high school career, no friends, and a lover who was a figment of his overactive imagination…
To face that kind of deep rejection with nothing in his corner? Cloud’s lower lip shook grimly. He knew with all of his heart that Midgar and the Shin-Ra army had saved his life. Zack’s friendship, Cam’s acceptance, and Sephiroth’s love had all saved his life. Literally.
With all of the happiness he’d been blessed with, the least he could do was forgive his own father. He clicked his tongue stud against his teeth. He didn’t know how to begin.
His father murmured after a moment, “So sorry, Cloud.”
Why, Cloud wanted to ask. Why, why, why. Why any of it? How?
“Okay,” he said instead. “…Dad. It’s okay.”
“I didn’t want you to be insulted by the money – ”
“I wasn’t, it was cool, it’s helped a lot – ”
“I’m glad, I thought it would help if you’re in that city – ”
“It’s ridiculously expensive here – ”
“Maybe I should come out and see you – ”
“Yeah, you could do that – ”
“Maybe I’ll do that.”
After they’d finished babbling at each other, Cloud decided he couldn’t handle much more of the conversation. “Well, I’m gonna let you go. You can call me if you want.”
“I will, I promise you that. And you can call me, too. Anytime you need to talk about anything, please call me. Please?”
Cloud wondered what scenario could possibly warrant him to need to call his father of all people, and couldn’t think of a single one. But he made a promise to himself to at least try. Maybe when something manly happened, like a promotion or something.
“Okay,” Cloud nodded.
“I’ll make this up to you.”
Cloud smiled softly. “…Okay.”
“I can try at least,” his father amended. “Night, son.”
“Goodnight, dad.”
Cloud wiggled every part of his body when he closed his phone. He laid back on Sephiroth’s bed, jiggling his legs while stretching out his fingers and wobbling his arms. Once he’d successfully shaken the conversation out of him, he went to Sephiroth’s bathroom mirror to check himself out.
Surprisingly enough, he’d not cried a single drop. His nose was a little red, though. Sephiroth had seen far worse, and so he decided he was presentable enough to reemerge into the living room.
Sephiroth didn’t move, but his eyes drifted from the television screen. “…Everything alright?”
“Sure,” Cloud smiled as he crossed the floor. He began to settle beside Sephiroth on the couch in their former comfortable position, but could feel those green eyes on him. Cloud finally stopped settling and looked back at him.
Sephiroth’s face was blank. “Wanna talk?”
“Not really.”
With the same perfectly blank expression, Sephiroth asked, “Want me to go down on you?”
Cloud laughed and shook his head. “Not right now.”
Sephiroth kissed him. “Well, ‘m here for you. Especially for the latter.”
“In a little bit,” Cloud sighed as their bodies tucked in close beneath the blanket. Sephiroth laid his head against Cloud’s shoulder. He rested his cheek against the top of Sephiroth’s head in return.
Eventually, Cloud would talk. They’d both talk late into the night. And after that, they would make love to each other.
But right then, sitting together and staring at a television screen seemed better than almost anything.
A/N
1 – Alright guys, the chapter after this one is the last one! Then we’re moving on to part two! I’m so excited to move on with this story, introduce some new people and ideas that I’ve had for a long time.
2 – So tell me, should I just keep part two in this story file, or move it to a different one? Meh, might as well keep it all together. It always bugs me when bits and pieces are scattered all over the place. I’ll just keep it all here so everything’s together.
3 – I don’t know if I thank the reviewers enough. There’s certainly a lot of enthusiasm for this, and I’m glad. It’s really helped me continue with things and it gives me something to look forward to, knowing what parts made you laugh or angry or sad. I take a long time to update, I know. I just worry about keeping everything at the same level of “goodness”. It’s an involved process – which is why you see so many typos and errors haha. It’s not that my beta isn’t great, it’s that I’m constantly changing everything, trying to get the most bang for my wordbucks. I always say ‘IT’S ALMOST DONE’ and then end up not liking anything I’ve done and restarting and working on it for like 6 more months. Eh, it’s fun though. That’s all that matters, right?
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