Happy Birthday was made for you

Every shift of weight, every push into him, elicits a soft whimper from Reno as nerves worn raw from alcohol and incredible sex are jostled and rubbed once again. The slower pace Rude sets only serves to push the feelings into that much more clarity, letting him feel every inch of his partner as the larger man's dick slides easily in and out of him. It's strange to be cradled this way, bolstered on both sides by the strong and unyielding walls of Rude's arms, and he closes his own eyes to revel in this closeness.

The scent of sex and sweat clings to the air, wafting up to him with every heated rush of air forced along from between their bodies and Reno opens his eyes to watch with fascination as a drop of sweat rolls down Rude's stomach leaving a thin shimmering line in it's wake. Beads of sweat cling across the bridge of his lover's nose and a single shining drop dangles precariously from the tip of the silver claw, threatening to let go at any moment as the muscles of Rude's abs twitch and roll, driving the larger man's hips in an achingly slow rhythm until he suddenly stops entirely to dip his head.

Breath ghosts across Reno's overheated skin, hot and cold at the same time, and it almost tickles, this hint of a touch, until Rude's lips close over one nipple. He can feel the sharp scrape of teeth and Reno can't help but to arch into it, his back curving up off the bed to push his flesh against that mouth and his panted moan is ripped away in a gasp as the movement begins again, this time much more needy and wanton than before.

Reno's fingers scrape and scrabble over Rude's back and neck as his body is rocked up toward the headboard with renewed vigor and he can't stop the wavering cries that issue forth against this overload of sensations. The pushes become more insistent with every moment until he's forced to slam his hands upward to brace from being driven any farther forward. He pushes back down, impaling himself hard onto the end of Rude's thrusts and it slams the head of his lover's cock straight into the most sensitive spots inside him.

Reno couldn't stay still now if his life depended on it, not with Rude losing control over top of him like this, not with those soft panted growls against his ear and the sharp flashes of lightening that threaten to climb straight up his spine and overwhelm him. He writhes under all of the attentions his body is given, unable to hear or even consider the heavy dull thud of the headboard as it smacks again and again into the wall with each thrust.

The whole damned house could be falling down around his ears for all Reno cares at that moment as long as Rude doesn't stop, as long as he gets to see it, to hear the last vestiges of his ever stoic partner's walls crumbling down around them. The grip in the headboard is forsaken in favor of clawing across Rude's skin until the big man suddenly moves back up to hover over Reno. He cracks his eyes open enough to look up into Rude's face, to meet that smoldering gaze staring down at him and their eyes lock, leaving Reno with the impression that he's seeing his partner for the very first time.

Gods...he's gorgeous.

Those luminous grey eyes burn straight into Reno's mind, leaving him immobile and unable to look away even as he watches the spams overtake Rude's body. Words fall from Rude's lips in an unending stream, more than Reno had ever expected to hear even in the heat of passion from his ever silent partner, and it takes a few seconds for Reno to realize that it's all his name, chanted over and over again like a mantra across the tongue of a man Reno would give his life for.

The words falter and give way to the erratic hard slam of Rude's hips against him and Reno squeezes his eyes shut against the onslaught, willing his body to relax into it and allow Rude to go this deep and this hard. He sinks close trimmed nails into Rude's shoulders though the action is purely unnecessary since the hard press of Rude's arms on either side won't allow him to slide up any farther on the bed regardless. He finds himself with no where to go, his body forced to stay still and accept the full strength of Rude's passion, and all he can do is cling to the man above him and will him on.

"Y-yeah babe....fuck...yes......." And then Rude is muffling shuddered moans into his chest and there's a salty sort of sting against Reno's insides that makes him hiss softly through clenched teeth. Rude goes utterly silent, his body still tensing and twitching as he releases into the redhead. The sting lessens after a few brief seconds and Reno can feel the slide of something warm and sticky as it pulses down the curve of his ass to soak into the sheets below but the feeling is surprisingly undisturbing.

He's won. They both have in their own way. Reno has managed to peel away all that armor between him and the man in whose hands he's willingly placed his life over and over throughout the past year and Rude has stripped away the detached part of Reno's brain that had all too easily manifested itself with every other lover. The redhead has never had to beg before, hell, the times are few when he's even had to ask for anything, and the fact that his partner could so easily bring him to the point where he needed too much to refuse is still a shock to him.

They lay there for a few long moments in the sudden stillness of the bedroom, the only sound being their ragged breathing, Reno's short and panted in contrast to Rude's longer fuller breaths, and the foggy haze of drink and satisfaction tug hard at the corners of Reno's brain. He struggles against them for the moment, needing to understand everything that just happened, and it's a losing battle until Rude's voice breaks the silence. Reno blinks a few times and reaches up to wipe the sweat from his face before responding with a non-commital grunt at first.

He pauses though as the uncertainty in Rude's voice filters in and changes tactics, not wanting to scare off his partner so quickly now that he'd finally gotten those damnable walls out of the way. "Yeah, big guy?" He says softly, his own voice sounding weaker and rougher than he expected, a result of all the harsh screaming that had been torn from him over the course of the night.

It's a battle to be sure. Rude is fighting to keep himself exposed, to keep from withdrawing into his habits and the safety of secrecy. He fights at the same time to keep himself in check. So many months spent ignoring his errant thoughts should make them that much easier to disregard now, but they fall around his mind like an avalanche, with even more force every time he gets caught in Reno's eyes or touch. "I... I tried," he murmurs, carefully pulling himself away to lie on his side.

The slick pull of him leaving Reno's body causes a slight twitch- the sensation is pleasant, but he knows there will be a mess- but he won't worry over that. This is far more important. He stretches himself to rest at Reno's side, arm still draped somewhat possessively over the fair chest. Reno's voice twists and warms him inside at the same time, and he sighs, his breath still hitching a little. "It was hard to... to open up. I'm- it's hard to figure out. I l... thanks," he finishes lamely, cutting himself off from what could be a fatal phrase. Nobody takes anything from Reno, physically or emotionally. He gives or he doesn't, and it isn't Rude's place to demand with words like that.

Reno lets out a small strained noise as Rude slips free before every muscle in his body collapses into relaxation. His eyelids flutter shut for a few moments as he focuses on the feeling of something wet and warm dripping along the seam of his backside, prompted on by the sudden withdrawal of the only thing that had been keeping it all at bay, but Rude's words sink in through the haze in his head after a few brief seconds and Reno turns his head to follow Rude's movement to his side. Confusion and disbelief are written clearly across the redhead's face and he shakes his head in bewilderment.

"Tried?" he mutters, "Partner, I think ya fuckin' succeeded. Ya know...in case ya didn't notice or anything." He gestures weakly toward the thin slick of cum spattered across his chest and stomach, the only lingering proof outside of his still twitching innards of the hardest orgasm he's ever had, and offers Rude a lopsided drunken smile. He doesn't mind the possessive arm that stays on his skin despite the heat between them but his mind chalks it up to just not wanting to move in the afterglow more than that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that says he enjoys it because it's Rude.

That annoying part of him that refuses to be shut down so easily, like some animal sensing his weakness due to exertion and alcohol, moves in and pushes its way to the forefront of his mind over and over. [i]You LIKE Rude holding you. You're enjoying this. You don't HAVE to go home. You can stay here....wrapped up in arms that can break men's bones and will never let anyone hurt you. You can stay here...and protect him.[/i]

Reno tries in vain to push it all away, to ignore the pull in his chest that makes him want to curl into Rude's arms knowing that his partner won't think less of him for it, and as his eyes roll up and lock with ash and fire framed in thick, dark lashes, he knows it's true. Rude won't fault him for wanting to curl up and sleep here. For wanting to curl up with Rude. Those impossibly fascinating lips that had grazed over his skin only moments ago part again and Rude's voice issues forth, tinged with some wistful note that Reno can't quite place....no...that's not true.

He knows EXACTLY what is in Rude's voice, exactly what the bigger man isn't saying, and part of Reno cringes and breaks on the edges of those half whispered words. He promised to protect Rude, to defend him, to never let him get hurt if it was within his power to stop, and now Rude was hurting, needing and Reno can provide..... but the words swing both ways and Reno can't force them past his lips. [i]I love you.[/i] Does he? Can he rally make that claim? How many trashy women has he heard those same words from after a good fuck in some back alley? How many times has he laughed callously at them and walked away.

[i]"You don't love me. You don't even fucking KNOW me."[/i]

Reno cringes inside again. Would Rude say the same thing? It's true, right? He knows Rude more than almost anyone on the planet but does he really know the man well enough to say those words? Self doubt, one of the monsters that had been kept hidden deep in his soul rises it's head to meet Rude's affectionate gaze and in the pale reflection he catches in the smoky gray, Reno can only see a scraggly looking red head who needs to shave and probably reeks of beer and booze.

"You're welcome...." he offers back in a voice almost too quiet to hear, leaving the words unsaid and tinging these with all the sadness he has at not being what Rude needs. Rude may not qualify as a good man, hell neither of them did, but he deserved better than Reno and the redhead owed it to his partner not to give him less than he deserved. "We should.....I'm ruinin' yer bed. Should take a shower..."

Reno can't quite bring himself to meet his partner's gaze anymore when his voice all but cracks on the last word and he focuses instead on the arm wrapped around him, one hand coming up to brush lovingly over the slightly scarred knuckles. There's a damnable lump in his throat he can't seem to swallow. How annoying is [i]that?[/i] He chides himself for being silly, for being weak at a time like this, but he can't bring himself to move off the bed, out of Rude's embrace, or even to draw his fingers away from his lover's hand.