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One (Last) Chance	By : RotSeele Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Yaoi - Male/Male > Seifer/Squall Views: 3721 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8. I do not make any money from this story.

Chapter List
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Twenty-Five - Squall POV

I wasn’t surprised that Seifer chose to stay in the infirmary with Rinoa rather than confronting me about it. I suppose I couldn’t have asked for a better reaction. Though I had described everything to him, there was still a huge difference between comprehending something told to you and seeing it for yourself. Intellectually, Seifer had understood what I had said and what needed to be done, and he had been fine with it. But then he had experienced it, had seen everything he had done Before, had watched everything I had gone through already, and lived it for himself. It bothered him. I bothered him. He wouldn’t say anything about it until he figured out things for himself, but I knew my strength and my willingness to sacrifice a friend, even for a short amount of time, was disconcerting to him.
I found myself wandering around the grounds of the ruined orphanage, staring at things that had been much larger the last time I had been here. I’d been much smaller then, uncertain about my future and scared of being alone. I had endured the loneliness, came to believe I could rely on no one but myself, and then forgot everything due to the Guardian Forces I had junctioned with. Now I was reliving it all, remembering everything, and it hurt. Hurt more than I thought it would, even after preparing myself for that pain.
You can’t blame yourself, Squall. Shiva said, her voice soft in my mind. You’ve done what you came back to do, and you’re striving now to make sure it stays the way it needs to be. Whatever happens, you must stay strong.
I know. But strength alone doesn’t stop pain.
Shiva agreed silently. So did the other Guardian Forces that remained with me. I continued wandering, seeing without really seeing, and then I stopped suddenly. Unconsciously, I had entered the courtyard where I had stood - or would stand, depending on how you looked at it - years ago and gave Matron the idea for SeeD. I looked up at the sky, at the broken ruins of the courtyard, and my chest grew tight. If it hadn’t been for me meddling in time, SeeD never would have been created. If it hadn’t been for me saying anything to Matron, she never would have been set on the path to be possessed by Ultimecia. She never would have inherited Ultimecia’s powers. Maybe I would never have been sent away to Garden. Maybe Sis would’ve told Laguna about me and he would’ve come and got me.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. What if.
Whatever.
I could only change the things I could now. Change my future by living in my new present. I couldn’t go all the way back and “fix” what was “broken”. Ellone had tried that already, and it had taken her months to figure out that the past could only be viewed with her powers, not changed. The only reason I had been able to get around that was because my entire physical being had been sent back to the beginning of all this, thanks to the Time Compression. That was it. And I was lucky to have survived it.
My eyes stung. It was an odd, slightly familiar feeling.
You’re alone. Bahamut growled. I couldn’t help but smile, even as tears began to streak down my face. As much as the king of dragons hated seeing any sign of weakness in me, he also had a compassionate side that manifested itself in small ways. Like this.
I crouched where I stood and wrapped my arms around my shins. I pressed my forehead to my knees, squeezed my eyes shut, and shook as I silently cried. I was frustrated, terrified, angry, sad - so many emotions coursed through me that I had repressed until now, because I had to be strong. I hadn’t had time to be scared or angry - never mind any earlier shouting - because I needed to get to this moment in time. The uphill battle was all but over. It was now a downhill runaway train speeding with full-force toward Time Compression. Toward a new uncertain future, one where even I might not survive this time around.
Strong arms wrapped around me, startling me and making me jerk. I lifted my head just enough to see greyish-white coat sleeves through the cloud of tears, and I dropped my head again. Seifer’s warmth pressed into my back, his chin rested on my shoulder, his scent filled my nose, and I couldn’t keep quiet anymore.
Seifer pulled me tighter against him and said nothing.
Even after I quieted, he continued to hold me, just kneeling there behind me with his arms wrapped around me. Then, slowly, he released me and stood up. I dried my eyes and face on the sleeve of my coat and took a deep breath before I slowly stood. Then I looked up at Seifer.
His expression was blank. He regarded me coolly, as if he were trying to figure out what to say and couldn’t think of anything. There was no smirk, not even a little twinkle in his green eyes, which were chips of emerald ice. I probably looked more human in contrast.
“Quistis sent me to look for you,” Seifer said at last, sounding slightly annoyed. “No one could find you. Wasn’t surprised to find you here.”
I shrugged, as if to say ‘where else would I be?’
“Edea is here too. Everyone else will be arriving shortly.”
I nodded.
“It’s not your fault.”
I looked up at him, frowning.
Seifer ran a hand through his hair. “Fucking Hyne, Squall, I signed up for this when you told me everything. Maybe I didn’t fully believe the gravity of the situation of our royally fucked up lives then, but the more I watched you, the more convinced I became that you were doing the only thing you knew how to make things right. You saved my sorry ass from what fate wanted to deal me. That kid,” he pointed over his shoulder as if his replacement as Sorceress’ Knight was right behind him, “he won’t suffer like me. No one knows his name. No one knows his face. His name won’t be all over the news and his face won’t be plastered all over the t.v. He’ll go down in history as some nameless sap that got suckered into doing some bad shit, but no one will blame him. That’s what you rescued me from. You risked everything for me. And now you’re trying to keep the status quo, which is fucking amazing, because you know everything that’s going to happen from here on out. You must have a will like iron, because I know I’d be doing everything I could to prevent shit that you let happen. You told me about Rinoa, and, fuck, I don’t know what I thought! I thought you’d try to protect her, that you’d try to keep it from happening, and when you didn’t...” He blew out a breath.
I looked away.
Seifer’s hand caught my chin and forced me to look at him. Instead of his eyes being twin chips of ice, they were filled with fire. He kissed me, hard, almost bruisingly so, crushing me against him so I couldn’t escape. I don’t remember how long it lasted - scant seconds, forever - before Seifer pulled back from me and stared down at me.
“You’re falling headlong down the same path, aren’t you?” he asked me. “You’re going to make sure everything goes the way it’s supposed to, just with a few minor changes.”
I nodded. Then I sucked in a deep breath and blew it out in a long sigh. “Ultimecia is still a threat. She’s not going to just... go away. I have to kill her.”
“What do you mean, you have to?”
I stepped back from him. “Do you believe things are preordained? Like someone already decided what we’re going to do before we do it?”
Seifer snorted. “I’ve never felt like I was someone’s puppet. Except for that once, which we will never mention again.”
I smirked, but it was short lived. “Time is a funny thing. The past can’t be changed, but it can influence the future. Edea’s idea for SeeD came from me. During Time Compression, I was sent back to a time when I was maybe five. I’d run away from here to look for Ellone, and Matron came looking for me. She found me, just this me.” I gestured to my chest. “When I realized she didn’t recognize me at this age, I avoided telling her my name, but I told her I was a SeeD from Balamb Garden.”
Understanding filled Seifer’s eyes. “She realized then you were from the future, because Garden didn’t exist when we were little.”
I nodded. “Ultimecia followed me, and as she lay dying, Matron inherited her powers so Ultimecia could die in peace, and so that none of the girls became a sorceress. I was sent back to the wasteland, and then the beginning of all this. I don’t know why.”
Seifer frowned and folded his arms over his chest. “You said Time Compression fucked with everything. You can’t blame yourself, Squall. The one you really have to blame is Ultimecia. She’s the one who started it all in the first place. We would’ve gone on living our lives as happy little mercenaries if she hadn’t managed to body-snatch Edea.”
“Like I said. Past influences the future. It all circles around back to me.”
“I don’t get it.”
“It’s hard to explain... I’m...” I paused, sighing. “My father’s the cause, Sis is the catalyst, and I’m the cure.” I said at last, after a beat of silence. “Someone’s going to come looking for us.”
Seifer stared at me, then nodded. He moved closer to me and drew me tight against him again, running his fingers through my hair and cupping his hand against the back of my head. “Let’s go get our princess back.” he said softly.
“She’s our sorceress,” I corrected lamely.
“To borrow your line, whatever.”
We parted then and headed into the orphanage to join the others in the main building. Cid was already there, smiling nervously at all of us. He wrung his hands in front of him, his body tense. “...Many thanks for your heard work.” he started, his nervous smile becoming a nervous grin. “...Hahaha... Are you angry with me? Haha... I don’t blame you. All I do is talk big, but in times of trouble, I run away. I was in a no-win situation... Your defeat would be the end of you. Your victory would mean losing my wife. I just couldn’t bear... to face either outcome. I don’t care about myself... But... please forgive Edea...”
“Headmaster,” I said quietly, making everyone look toward me. I don’t know what they saw on my face - evidence of tears, pure exhaustion, maybe both - but their expressions seemed to soften, “we don’t blame you or Edea. It is what it is. We are what we are.”
Cid gave me a wobbly smile, then led us to Edea, who waited with her hands clasped before her, her amber gaze soft and loving, just as we remembered.
When she saw us, a brilliant smile bloomed on her face and tears filled her eyes. “My children... Please forgive me... I raised you as my own, yet still, I...”
I said quietly, “It’s not your fault.”
“We fought you, too, knowing you were our Matron.” Zell said. The others echoed similar words, or simply murmured her name.
“You weren’t in control of your actions,” Seifer said, his voice rumbling through the room like soft thunder. “I know how that is.”
Edea smiled at all of us, but it gentled somewhat when she regarded Seifer. “You are SeeDs. You cannot back out of a battle, I know. You were magnificent. However, it is not over yet. At any time, I may... ...I have been possessed all this time. I was at the mercy of Sorceress Ultimecia. Ultimecia is a sorceress from the future. A sorceress many generations ahead of our time. Ultimecia’s objective is to find Ellone. She is after Ellone’s mysterious power. I know Ellone very well. Ultimecia is a very fearful sorceress. Her heart is filled with anger and hate. There was no way I was going to let Ultimecia get a hold of Ellone. The only thing I could do was... ...Surrender my soul to Ultimecia and lose control of my mind. That was the only way I could save Ellone. And the end result... Well, you all know. The Sorceress that appeared in Galbadia was in fact Ultimecia... inside my shell... Ultimecia has yet to achieve her goal. I believe she may use my body again to carry out her plains. I plan to make a stand this time, but... if that does not work... I may have to face you in battle once again. I ask for your support, young SeeDs. Have you all heard of Sorceress Adel before? She was the ruler of Esthar during the Sorceress War. No one knows of her whereabouts... That’s what I learned. The Galbadians must have thought I was the sorceress who received Sorceress Adel’s powers. However, that is not the case. I received the powers of the previous sorceress at the age of five.”
I looked over at Seifer and tilted my head to the side as everyone else asked questions of Edea. He gave me a slight nod and made a gesture surreptitiously with his fingers. While he didn’t understand my role in all of this, he understood now what I meant when I had said how the past influenced the future.
Edea continued, “I believe Sorceress Adel is still alive. And that Ultimecia released my body in order to... ...To use the body of Sorceress Adel... Sorceress Adel is the type who will not hesitate to use her powers for her own selfish desires. Should Sorceress Ultimecia from the future bequeath her anger and hatred unto Adel, their power would be unimaginable...”
“I don’t think using Adel is Ultimecia’s ultimate goal.” I said, somehow managing to keep my voice neutral. Edea looked at me, confused. I felt everyone else turn to look at me as well. I leaned against a nearby wall and folded my arms over my chest. “Matron, have you ever heard of Time Compression?”
“Um,” interrupted Zell, “what’s Time Compression?”
“It’s time magic. Past, present, and future get compressed.” Edea’s eyes widened. “But... that’s incredibly dangerous! Why would she...” Her hand flew to her mouth, covering it as if to silence herself. “Ultimecia’s objective is to find Ellone.”
I nodded. “Sis’ power. She can send someone’s consciousness back into the past.”
“So, Ultimecia wants to use Ellone’s power, right?”
“I get it.” Irvine said. “Ultimecia wants to send her consciousness from this period further into the past.”
“What’s she going to do in the past?”
Edea’s eyes focused on me. “You can’t believe that, Squall. No one would be crazy enough to do that, even her.”
“You said it yourself, Matron. Ultimecia is a being consumed by anger and hate, but she’s controlled by her fear. With as much power as she has, she’s doing the only thing she believes available to her.” I said. “She’s trying to destroy what’s making her so afraid.”
Matron continued to stare at me. Her amber eyes started to water, and she quickly blinked the tears away. “But that’s...”
I pushed away from the wall. “Ellone is safe. You’re safe, Edea. Right now, there’s nothing Ultimecia can do. I’m going to head back to Garden and let everyone know what’s happened.” I looked at everyone else, lifting my shoulders in a slight shrug. “You guys can stay here or follow me as you want. We won’t be going anywhere until tomorrow.”
I left the orphanage then and headed back to Balamb Garden. I wasn’t surprised when Seifer was the only one to follow me out, and as he shut the door behind him, I could hear Selphie’s voice raising in excitement before it was cut off. I waited for Seifer to catch up to me before walking on. He kept pace beside me, hands shoved into his coat pockets. He didn’t speak at all.
I made my report to the entire school over the announcement system, but avoided saying anything about where to find Ellone. I knew where she was. I had told her to go straight to Esthar and stay with Laguna until I came to get her. When I finished, I met Seifer in the hallway and together we headed down to the infirmary to look in on Rinoa. Her condition hadn’t changed in the slightest, and I wasn’t really surprised about that. She wouldn’t become active again until I got her close enough to Adel’s prison in space. I sat heavily in a chair beside Rinoa’s bed and leaned my head back, closing my eyes for a brief minute. Seifer sat beside me, holding onto his silence. His eyes were on Rinoa, though, as if he were expecting her to leap up at any minute and tell us it was all a big joke she was helping me play on him. But she remained inert, cold and still, in her coma-like trance as her body adjusted itself to the consciousness she had been forced to inherit.
“So what now?” Seifer asked.
“We head to Esthar.”
“Is that where Ellone is?”
“She should be. Or I’m going to beat her senseless.” I growled.
Seifer chuckled. “I’d like to see that.”
“And if he’s let her do anything or go anywhere, I’m going to beat him senseless, too.”
“Who?”
“My father.”
Seifer looked at me sharply, confusion back in his eyes along with a sharpness that told me he wasn’t going to let me weasel out of explaining this time. “Is your dad in Esthar?”
“...” I nodded.
“Does he live there, or something?”
“You could say that.” I focused on Rinoa’s face then, as if her countenance would make it easier for me to explain this. “...You remember Matron saying Adel was the ruler of Esthar back during the Sorceress War?”
“Yeah. What’s that got to do with your dad being in Esthar?”
I sighed. “Before I was born, when Sis was maybe seven or so, Esthar kidnapped her. My dad left to go find her and bring her home. He succeeded... and aided a civil war while he did it. He helped overthrow Adel.”
“Well, if you’re anything to judge him by, then he’s got to be pretty badass.”
I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing so hard that I doubled over and almost fell out of my chair. Seifer looked at me, his expression like a confused and hurt puppy. I forced myself to sober and sucked in a deep gulp of air as I sat upright again. “Laguna Loire is many things, but he’s definitely not a badass. I look more like my mother, anyway.” I breathed deeply a few more times and managed to stop laughing. “After defeating Adel, the people of Esthar decided to instate him as its new ruler. Its President.”
Seifer’s mouth dropped open and he stared at me for a long while. He closed his mouth and folded his arms over his chest, slouching in his chair grumpily. “And just when were you going to tell me that?”
“...”
“When it was relevant? You don’t think I ought to know that I’m going to be walking into your dad’s country and we might just cross paths?”
I smiled.
“Of course I wouldn’t keep my mouth shut. I really hope you do look like your mom, because if you got all that,” his hand waved up and down from my head to my toes and back again, “from your dad, there’s seriously something wrong with the world!”
I smiled wider.
“Fuck.”
I looked toward Rinoa and felt my mirth slip away. “Seifer.”
He looked at me, emerald eyes serious.
I met his gaze. “I’m going to need you the most going forward now. I’m going to need you to watch my back more than ever.”
“Are you going to do crazy shit that’s going to make me hate you?”
“Definitely.”
Seifer inhaled deeply and blew out a long sigh. “All right. But I want something in return. I’ve gone along with you so far without thinking about it, but now I definitely want something back for my good behavior.”
I arched my eyebrow at him, curious and afraid all at once. I wasn’t sure what Seifer was thinking, or what he had come up with during his time silently watching me maneuver through events with an almost mechanical precision.
He finally looked at me and held up a finger to silence any protests I might make. “You don’t have to say anything. Talking’s not your strong suit anyway.” He smirked as I narrowed my eyes at him. “When this is all over, when we’ve finally destroyed this Ultimecia bitch and we can have all of twenty minutes of peace to ourselves, promise me this: meet me at the secret place in the training center. If you promise, kiss me.”
I rose slowly from my chair and shifted closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as I straddled his lap. I felt his arms come around my waist and hold loosely onto me. I pressed my forehead to his so that I could stare into his deep green eyes. Then I pressed my lips to his. It was a fleeting touch, but it was enough. I pulled back from him and he let me go, allowing me to leave the infirmary. It was time to go to Esthar.
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One (Last) Chance