Recollecting

He knocked softly on the frame of the door before he opened it, and stepped out into the back garden area where he knew the other man would be. The air that afternoon was crisper than normal, but he was sure that it wouldn't affect the other man. Tseng knelt down by the silent figure that sat beside the koi pond, and held up a cup of steaming hot tea from the tray he had carried out. "Vincent -san, your tea is ready." Tseng half hoped that this time the man would answer him, or at least act like he would at least try, but the ex-Turk remained as he had been all week.

Tseng had said nothing when Vincent had showed up at his doorstep, a single ratty bag slung over one shoulder. Vincent had offered no explanation, and Tseng had asked for none. He had merely welcomed a guest, as was Wutaiian custom, into his house, offered him room and board, fed him and sat beside the silent, stoic man for these seven days. It was clear, upon just seeing Vincent, something bad had happened, probably concerning Highwind, but every time he tried to make conversation about the man Vincent seemed to crawl further and further back into himself. Now he just made sure the older man was well fed and taken care of, conversation kept to a minimum.

He handed Vincent his tea, made the way the gunman liked it, and he sat down beside the still silent man with a sigh. "I was going to go to temple today, if you were interested in coming.." Tseng waited for a second before he continued, brushing some dust off of his kimono. "Also, I have received some information from Reeve Tuesti, the W.R.O. president. Apparently he'll be setting up some sort of boot camp to train future W.R.O. soldiers and he needs people to act as...instructors, if you will. He extended the invitation to myself, and to you as well. I declined. I did not answer for you." Tseng took a sip of his own cup, glancing at Vincent out of the corner of his eye. The man looked, if it was possible, even more downcast than he was when he first got here, the dark red kimono Tseng had picked up for the man hanging loosely off of his skinny frame, making his skin look even paler. Tseng sighed when he received nothing in return, and looked to his tea. “...I also heard tell that he was trying to involve Highwind in this, too.”

There was, for the first time in days, a shift in Vincent’s seat, and he darted his red eyes over to look at Tseng. He said nothing, but some of the light in his face had returned fleetingly.

“They want him as some soft of special operations drill sergeant. I didn’t hear from Reeve wether or not he accepted...except I did hear something else that might be of interest to you.” Tseng took a pause to sip at his tea. He didn’t expect a verbal response from Vincent, but could feel the other man’s eyes on him, urging him silently to keep talking. “If he does accept, Reeve expects him to attend a basic procedure seminar for two weeks before he’s sent to the training camps in Edge...here in Wutaii.”

Tseng wasn’t sure what surprised him more: the cup suddenly falling out of Vincent’s hands onto the floor or how he abruptly turned on his seat with wide red eyes towards him and practically whispered “..is that true?”


“Every word...which means if Highwind DOES agree to accept the sixth months he’ll be gone, that means before he leaves he’ll be staying two weeks here in Wutaii, which means...” Tseng took a breath, calming himself. “Which means you can see him again before he leaves.” He watched Vincent’s face, noticed the way Vincent seemed to brighten a bit, how the light came back into his eyes slightly, and even the hopeful smile tugging at one side of his mouth. “But that’s only if he accepts.”

There was a pause as both Wutaiians sat there, Tseng turning his attention to the fish swimming in the pond before them. He knew this was how the other man was going to take the news, but Tseng didn’t know wether or not Cid would accept this assignment of Tuesti’s, seeing as the older man was about as unreadable as a water logged book at times.

“Then we’ll have to make sure he accepts.”

Tseng looked up at the other man with a lifted eyebrow. “And how will you do that? You could not contact him without arousing his wife’s superstitions...” Tseng watched Vincent fiddle with his fingers a bit before the red eyed man looked over at him.

“No...but you could.”

“Me?”

“Yes.”

“Myself?”

“None other.”

“Do you really think Highwind will listen to me if I called and asked him to accept this, especially without being able to tell him you’re here?”

“You wouldn’t have to mention me.”

“He wouldn’t do so otherwise, Vincent. You know that. He’s too stubborn to-“

“Don’t talk like you know him.” Vincent’s voice was no whisper this time- instead, it was sharp, practically cutting, and said with enough force behind it Tseng could have almost taken it as an order.

“You know how stubborn he is.”

“I know him better than anyone, and he is not the way you think he is.”

“Then how is he?” Tseng was slowly losing his patience, his normally sweet green tea tasting worse as the conversation went on.


“You wouldn’t understand.”

Tseng sat his cup down with enough force it caused Vincent to blanche for a moment. “NO, I do NOT understand. You’re right about that. I do NOT understand how a man such as CID HIGHWIND could possibly capture you so COM-PLETE-LY! I cannot see as of right now what is SO WONDERFUL about him that EVERY other man doesn’t have, too. If you want a stubborn, irrational and foul mouthed man, I can give you that!” Tseng snapped out the last words with more venom that he meant to, his hands shaking with every word. He turned his attention back towards the pond, bound and determined to calm himself down. He’d never let ANYONE get him this riled up except for Reno, and that was because the red head was a horrible drunk and chair races are NOT allowed inside Shinra building. Tseng didn’t even look at the other man, and he didn’t know how long it took before Vincent spoke, calmer than he would have anticipated.

“I can’t tell you why.”

“WELL why NOT? Are there not enough words in any language you know to describe it?” Tseng bit his lip hard as he ended his sentence, sure that he was using enough lip with the older ex-Turk to get him killed.

“No..there are no words to describe it. There are no words to be able to tell you why I feel what I do when he smiles at me, or why I can’t seem to get him out of my mind. There’s only feelings, and no one but him and myself can understand them between the two of us. I wish I could explain, but even if I could there would be no justice to the words.” Vincent’s voice was soft and patient, as if he were talking to a child. “I only know I love him...and that’s enough for me.”

Tseng sighed, HEAVILY, his brows knitting as he shut his eyes. “Your love needs no explanation, is that what you are saying?”

“Yes.”

“And you are going to continue staying this moody until I call his redneck ASS and get him over here, aren’t you?”

“Continually.”

Tseng snatched Vincent’s cup away from the floor and sat it on the tray with a growl, picked the tray up and stood abruptly. He offered no explanation to Vincent as to what he was doing, but he knew the gunman was waiting for him outside when he walked back out of the door with cell phone in hand. “What’s the man fucking house number?”

Vincent just smiled.

*****************************

Day eight, and the mood train of Cid had yet to change stations.

Shera stood in the doorway of the kitchen, brows knit and arms folded under her bust as she watched her husband lean on the kitchen counter, watching the sink fill up. There was no enthusiasm in his stance, no care. He stood there, listlessly staring at the rising water with dull eyes. Sadness, and especially depression, did not bode well on Cid Highwind, and it showed in everything he did. For the past seven days he’d been a hollow, careless shell, and it was driving her INSANE.

It hadn’t started until the day AFTER Vincent had left, and it snuck up on her like a ghost. Shock, she supposed on his part, had turned into acceptance, then acceptance into a longing, longing into sadness and now sheer depression. It wasn’t a sobbing depression or even an angry depression- it was a SILENT one, and Cid silent was scarier than Cid crying in her opinion.

She leaned off of the doorway and walked towards him, hoping he would acknowledge her presence even somewhat (which he hadn’t been doing lately, not to anyone it seemed) as she stood behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders. “Hey....what do you want for dinner tonight?”

He shrugged, not speaking.

She sighed inwardly. Take two. “I was thinking maybe we could go out to eat tonight, ya know?...go down to the restaurant in town?”

He shrugged again, shifting to the other leg as his attention turned to staring out of the window. He could hear her sighing behind him, the pressure of her hands getting tighter on his shoulders.

“How long are you going to do this?”

“Do what...?”

“THIS!” Cid felt her slap the back of his head, harder than he could have given her credit for, to the point where he was forced to turn around to prevent her from beating the shit out of him. “THIS...THIS...MOPING! This depression, this SILENCE! You’ve been like this ever since he left, and I’m SICK of it!....stop..stop being this way and get back to being the man I married!”

Cid snorted. “To what? The guy who yells at you for the slightest thing?...the stubborn ass who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, the one who couldn’t give a shit either way?...you want that guy?” Cid pushed her away gently, slight anger in his eyes. “Sorry to tell you this Shera, but that guy? He ain’t comin’ back anytime soon.”

“WELL why NOT?!”

“Cause I ain’t got no more fightin’ in me...you made sure of that.” His words came out loud and clear, not a hint of bitterness behind them as he was expecting.


He was not expecting her to slap him as hard as she did, nor to have her turn and stomp away into their bedroom and slam the door with enough force to rattle the china cabinet. The phone starting to ring as she did so was a bit of a surprise, though. Cid sighed and shuffled over to the phone, the right side of his face stinging somewhat. He picked up the phone and simply said, “What?”

“I’m glad to see you’re in a good mood, Highwind.”

“And who am I talking to?”

“Here’s a hint. I’m the other Wutaiian you know.”

"and that still don't tell me shit.”

“Did you receive a phone call from Reeve Tuesti yet?”

“Yes. I told him I’m not interested. Too much shit going on already.”

“You might want to reconsider, Captain.”

Cid lifted an eyebrow. This was the first time he’d heard Tseng call him by his title. “And why’s that?”

“Because there’s enough in this offer for you to want to pass up.”

“Meaning?”

“MEANING, dim-witted one, aside from the SUBSTANTIAL pay you would be receiving, it would get you out of that blasted redneck town and where you could do some GOOD. Of all the people that Tuesti wanted involved in this, you were one of the main ones he really needed.” Tseng sounded annoyed, and Cid could tell he was pacing back and forth.

“Reason being?”

“You’re older and more mature, believe it or not. You’ve got a commanding presence for another and you know enough curse words to make a sailor blush. Plus, you’ve already been through Shinra academy and have enough martial knowledge to set out a course. Tuesti, of course, would tell you all of this himself, however he’s tied up at the moment taking care of other possible candidates. He knew I knew you and asked me to inform you of such.” There was a pause on the other end of the line, and a sigh before Tseng continued speaking. “Please reconsider. Think of this carefully. Six months with pay away from their wife would make any man jump at the chance.”

“Shera’s pregnant, Tseng, and Vince is gone.”

“Well I’m sorry for your loss and gains, Highwind, so think about what good this will do for you, especially considering how much money it takes to take care of a child.”

“True.”

“This is my cell phone number. Write it down, now.” Tseng waited for a moment, making sure Cid had something to write with and on before he gave the older man the number. “If and when you change your mind, call me and let me know. If you accept, you need to be here no more than five days from when you agree. Understand?”

“Gotcha.”

“And Highwind?”

“Yeah?” Cid waited for the usual snippy, bossy tone to come out over the phone, surprised at the softness of Tseng’s voice.

“You won’t regret this. TRUST me.” And then Tseng hung up. Cid stared down at the house phone for a minute before he hung it up and stared down at the slip of paper in his hand. He stood there for he didn’t know how long, staring at the number before he gently sat the paper down on the table and made a beeline for his room. The door was shut, but surprisingly not locked, and he made his way in. Shera hadn’t bothered to turn on any lights, and he made his way to the edge of the bed and sat down on it. He waited a moment before he spoke.

“Reeve have someone call me back about the boot camp job.” He paused- no answer. “Told me to think about it....and...I am. I’m going to do it.” Cid waited for a reaction, but when he got none kept speaking. “I know it’s a long time away, but I think it’ll do some good...for the both of us...I need to get away and clear my mind and you probably don’t wanna see me again ‘til I get my head on straight...and besides, all the extra money’ll be good when the baby gets here.”

“You don’t even want this baby, Cid. Admit it.” Shera’s voice spoke up from the bed behind him, and she sounded like she’d been crying.

“I never said that...and besides, it doesn’t matter now. It’s comin’ and we gotta get ready for it, you know that...and Shera, it...” Cid sighed and leaned over, brushing a hand through his hair. “It wasn’t you...it was never you.”

He heard her shift behind him, but he didn’t turn around. “...Did you ever love me?”

“I did...I do...I just....not the way you want me to. I may not be head over heels in love with you, Shera, but I’ll always love you...and take care of you...no matter what happens, I’ll always be your husband. That’ll never change...I want you to know that.” Cid stood up and headed towards the door with a sigh.

“Where are you going?”

“Ta sleep on the couch, like what you were probably planning on making me do anyways.” He was half way out of the door before she stopped him by calling out his name, and he turned a bit to look at her sitting on the end of the bed, her eyes still shining from before. She said nothing, just held out her arms. He said nothing, but shut the door and in the darkness headed back towards her.
*************************************

The phone rang early the next morning, Wutaiian time. Tseng sighed and picked up his cell phone, looking down at the number that was flashing up. It was Cid’s number he’d called the night before, and he answered it with a lifted eyebrow. “Well?”

“I’m in.”

Tseng smiled over the phone with a sigh. “Good.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AN- sorry about the long wait...again. :D