Drive-By Shooting | By : TJChaos Category: Final Fantasy Games > Final Fantasy II - V Views: 3156 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own the Final Fantasy series, but if I did there'd be a lot more sex. Also, any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. This is actually a work of fiction. I make no profit from |
Edge got his balls healed and, under the pretence of gender equality, launched an invasion of Troia. He won the war with ease and made the entire Troian army of fit, athletic 18-30 year old females into his sex slaves, forcing them to wear Rydia slut-suits and releasing them to be used by the entire population of Eblan whenever they pleased. The ratio of attractive, nubile and broken females was 2 for every 1 man, woman and child in Eblan, so there were plenty to go round and Edge was much loved as the king of his own sexual empire.
          He also colour-coordinated them, so the blond ladies wore yellow costumes, the redheads red, and so forth, and had fun with his glorious technicolor harem.
The Red Wings were forced to undertake gender equality training by Queen Rosa and accept women into their ranks. This was done to not only punish them for objectifying women, but to provide a steadying influence in the unlikely event that a similar situation were to occur.
          Unfortunately, during a rearguard action in the infamous war of Troia, the Red Wings lost the battle and the women were press-ganged into King Edge's Sex Corps. He taught them a more enjoyable way to live their lives away from the stuffy monotony of military service, and paid them in orgasms. They were turned into drooling concubines and Baron lost a generation of talented, sexy women.
Rydia became disgusted by men and women alike and married her most perverse eidolon, Sperma Tozoa. Their honeymoon was so intense that they caused an environmental disaster and were banished to the moon, which is now known as the milky moon. She's very happy, and a total whore.
All of this led, of course, to the events of Final Fantasy IV-3, where the balance of the world was put at risk by having a disproportionate number of females in one location, causing the world to spin out of its orbit and nearly fly into the sun during the infamous sex-orgy of Eblan. But you'll already know that, having played the game yourself. If you managed to get a copy before it was banned, that is. It had lots of sex scenes and was absolutely filthy. The last copy was sealed in plutonium and dumped in the Pacific so no one could actually play it until the background radiation had sunk to non-lethal levels. This was the best solution given all the the religious riots and free love revolutions caused by the game... but all this is history, you know it already.
++ EMPIRE of DIRT, May 2010
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