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Blue Skies: A Requiem for Storms	By : Raiethstar Category: Final Fantasy VIII > Het - Male/Female Views: 1000 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy. All OC chars I do own, but I still don't make any money off of this venture. This is for my own amusement only.

Chapter List
- 2
- 3
- 4
Okay this chapter introduces Laguna, who will be a useful character for exposition as I switch between his and Squall’s point of view. My justification for this is the games, as Laguna is the other main protagonist and we see things from his perspective as well. There are some things that I need to show that only someone outside Squall’s head can see, and a few plot points to set up that Squall doesn’t know but Laguna does. I hope I made the shifts easy to follow, and no one gets lost. Also this chapter is more dialogue heavy, writing banter between the two Loire’s is a lot of fun ^.=.^
Bonus: Squall’s opinion on fangirls, it’s not nice….
Warnings: Violence, blood, angst, transformation
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Day 2 - Afternoon
Squall rolled onto his side and received a face full of sunlight. He squeezed his eyes even tighter shut, before reluctantly opening them. The sky was a clear blue, not a cloud in sight. The tired headmaster sat up, and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He waited until he felt fully awake before getting out of bed, and checked his now dry clothes before getting dressed. Stretching, he casually made his way out of his apartment. Thankfully, the walk from his office to the cafeteria was an uneventful one. He watched the cadets run around between classes and various students and SeeDs lounging on the benches. The atmosphere was quite relaxed despite the field test that was rapidly approaching.
He noted that it was quite busy before checking the wall clock, it was just past noon. He entered the teacher’s lounge and heard a familiar laugh, looking up he saw Xu sitting at a table with a few of the female teachers. She looked over when one of them tilted her head towards him. Xu looked more concerned than angry with him, her eyebrow lifted in a silent question and Squall looked away, not able to answer. What was he supposed to say? He didn’t want to hurt her, and he couldn’t trust himself not to. He ignored the shushed whispers from the ladies’ table and approached the counter.
“What can I get for you Headmaster?” The worker asked him jovially.
“The usual, please.”
“One Squall special coming right up.” He shouted into the back for a refill on the mashed potatoes before serving up large helpings of both lunch options.
Squall raised an eyebrow, he had never heard it called that before. Had he just never noticed?
The man laughed, “Normally feeds two or three people it does.” He placed two trays loaded with plates onto the high counter. “Enjoy sir.”
Squall muttered a thanks before carrying both overloaded trays to a table in the far corner to eat in peace. He tried his hardest to ignore the world as he ate, the gnawing empty feeling inside of him subsiding as he did so. Finishing and placing his dishes on a nearby rack he realized that Xu had already left. That certainly made things easier on his conscience. Figuring now was as good a time as any, Squall headed for the airship hanger.
There used to be quite a bit of unused space below the first floor and during the repairs he had made full use of the space by converting it into an airship hanger. Taking the elevator down he emerged onto the hanger floor. Squall had personally commissioned a small airship, it only sat eight people and had little cargo room, but it worked well as a personal vehicle. The small ship was sky blue in colour with Balamb Garden’s crest painted onto the side. The name Zephyr was painted under the tinted cockpit glass.
He boarded his airship and thumbed open the radio connection. “BG Control this is the Zephyr, come in please.”
The radio cackled before replying, “Zephyr this is BG Control, what can I do for you sir?”
“Going to Esthar, how’s my flight path?” He began the process of warming up the engines.
There was a pause before the radio cackled again. “All clear sir, doors open in two.”
Perfect, just enough time to prep for the short flight. As promised exactly two minutes later the large hanger door opened and after one last all clear from control he launched into the clear blue sky.
The flight was extremely short, he barely had time to radio the presidential palace to let them know he was landing in their yard before he was hovering over the landing spot. He quickly shut down the Zephyr and headed into the palace proper. Nodding to the guards he strolled down the hall towards Laguna’s bedroom, he had been here enough to have memorized where it was.
Once at the large doors he knocked before entering, “Laguna!” There was no reply. Closing the door behind him, Squall stalked through the presidential suite knowing that he was likely still asleep. Beelining for the actual bedroom, Squall knocked on the last door before entering the room. Laguna was asleep as predicted, snoring loudly and managing to take up his entire bed. His blankets were half on the floor.
Squall sighed, how could the man sleep this much? “Laguna!” His father showed no reaction. Stepping fully in to the room he frowned, “Laguna, wake up.” Squall prodded his father’s foot with his boot.
Laguna shifted and pulled his foot under the covers. “Go-way.” Was the slurred response. Squall rolled his eyes, “Laguna get up, it’s after noon.” He put a hand on his hip.
“Five more minutes.” The president pulled the covers over his head.
Squall sighed, “Father, don’t make me regret choosing to spend my free time with you.”
The word ‘father’ seemed to do the trick. “Squall?” He peeked his head out to see if it really was him, and not some trick. “What are you doing here?”
Squall rubbed his forehead, perhaps this wasn’t a good idea after all. “You have twenty minutes before I change my mind and leave.” Turning on his heel he exited the room and closed the door behind him. Pausing for a moment, he listened to the sounds of Laguna getting up, it was easy as Laguna did all his thinking out loud. Satisfied that things were going according to plan Squall retreated to the sitting room and relaxed in Laguna’s big plush chair. There was some paper work on the coffee table and he casually flipped through it, his long years of Garden administration allowing him to actually understand the document. He was just getting to a report of civil unrest when he heard something behind him.
The recognizable soft steps and nearly silent swish of cloth, he heard approaching suddenly shifted to be less stealthy. Squall didn’t look up from the document, “How’d you know I heard you, Kiros?”
The thin black man sat in a chair across from Squall. “Your ears move when you focus on sound.” He stated as a matter of fact.
Squall raised an eyebrow, Kiros’ vision must still be exceptional if he could notice such a small movement. He also hadn’t realized he had a tell like that, he wondered if anyone else had noticed.
“What brings you to the palace?” He asked as he settled, his joints were beginning to feel his age.
The headmaster tossed the document he had been browsing onto the coffee table he had found it on and shrugged. “I found myself with some free time on my hands. Thought I should pay a visit.”
Kiros smiled, “Well, that was thoughtful of you.” He reached a hand into his long sleeve and withdrew a deck of cards. “Care for a game while we wait then?”
Squall grinned as he retrieved his own deck. “Same, random alright with you?”
Kiros arched his eyebrow as he shuffled his deck, “Relying on luck to beat me now are you?”
“Hah, hardly.” Truth be told, he kinda was. After dealing their respective hands, the battle began.
Triple Triad was a lot like chess. Each move had to be carefully planned and executed. The pauses between card placements lengthened with every card placed. Laguna wandered into the sitting room near the end of the game. He was dressed as casually as he always was, in a half open light blue button up shirt and a pair of khaki pants. He was still towel drying his long brown-black hair. Crouching beside the table he stared at the game in progress, “Oh looks like your winning Kiros.”
Squall snorted and played his card, now he was in the lead. “You were saying?”
Kiros grinned smugly and played the final card into the grid, Squall didn’t even bother flipping his cards, Kiros had won.
“Ooooh, tough luck little hedgehog.” Laguna laughed, using his pet name for his son. “How many does that make now Kiros?”
Kiros collected his cards and laughed, “I do believe that puts me in the lead with 63 games.”
Squall frowned and waved a hand dismissively, “You just got lucky is all.” He stashed his deck back into it’s pocket.
Laguna laughed harder, seeing right through his son’s lie. He stood, his knees cracking at the movement and settled into a chair. “It’s not like you to just visit out of the blue like this. Anything I should know about?”
Squall shook his head. “Not really, just have some free time is all.” The younger Loire shrugged.
Laguna looked thoughtful for a moment, and absently slung his damp towel over his chair. “Well, there aren’t any social gatherings today, hey Kiros...” He trailed off as he noticed the uncomfortably embarrassed look on Squall’s face.
“Well, uh...” Squall hesitated, why did Laguna always make him uncomfortable? “I was kinda hoping, just the two of us...” He was interrupted by Laguna leaping up towards him, he jumped out of his chair to run but was caught anyway.
Laguna bear hugged his son, “Oh, hearing those words makes your father so happy!” Laguna’s cold wet hair was smothering Squall.
How the hell was he so fast! Squall struggled to escape his father’s grip without hurting him, his arms pinned to his sides. “H-hey! Cut it out! Let me go!”
“Never! I’ll never let you escape again!” Laguna squeezed harder.
Squall managed to free an arm and was frantically trying to push the older man off. “Kiros, help!”
Kiros however had nearly fallen out of his chair he was laughing so hard.
Squall realized it was futile, escaping would likely mean hurting him, so he gave up and relaxed.
Laguna picked up on it right away, “There it’s not so bad, now is it?”
Squall scowled angrily and bitterly retorted, “Maybe I’d think that if I had grown up with parents.” He regretted the words, even as they left his lips.
Laguna winced and released his son, his pained expression cut into Squall like a knife. “I guess I deserved that huh?” The weight of Laguna’s long years were etched into his face as he stepped back.
Squall looked away, “No, I’m sorry.”
Laguna shook his head and smiled again, “It was my fault after all.” He slumped into his chair. “So then my prickly hedgehog, what did you have in mind?” And once again, Squall’s nickname proved as appropriate as ever.
“I didn’t plan that far ahead.” He replied honestly. “I could use a coffee though.”
Laguna clapped his hands together, “Then let’s go to Elixir, there is a nice one just around the corner from here.” He pointed to his hair and grinned sheepishly. “Just give me a moment to fix my hair.” He jumped up with surprising energy and darted into his bedroom.
“That was not fair, Squall.” Kiros commented from his chair.
Squall looked away, his hand on his hip.
He sighed and stood to leave. “I know you dislike physical contact, but you could make more of an effort.”
“I’m here aren’t I?” Squall grumbled under his breath. He waited in silence as he listened to Kiros leave the suite. He really did want to bond with his father, to see him as others appeared to see their parents. It was just so much habit to overcome. The underlying fear that as soon as he truly accepted Laguna he would be snatched away, was always lurking under the surface making things even more difficult. Squall sighed, why was his mind always at odds with itself?
“That was quite the sigh.” Laguna commented from behind him, his voice betraying mild curiosity.
Squall turned to him, “Ready?”
Laguna grinned and nodded, having run a brush though his long hair and secured it in a simple ponytail. “Come on, lets go.”
The pair leisurely strolled out of the palace, ignoring the whispers and nodding to the guards.
Laguna paused just outside the door and took a deep breath. “It’s nice to get out into the fresh air once and a while eh?”
Squall shrugged. Something about Esthar’s air had always bothered him, “Whatever.” He started towards the cafe.
Keeping pace with his son Laguna tried to engage Squall in small talk. “So why did you come for a visit out of the blue?”
Squall frowned slightly, hadn’t he already explained himself? “I had some free time, I already told you.”
Laguna laughed, “We both know that’s a lie, you don’t ‘just visit’ me.”
Squall snorted, “Well apparently I do.” Why was Laguna baiting him so?
The older Loire stopped laughing at Squall’s tone. “Sorry, forgot you don’t like to joke around.” He looked out over the city. “You really should lighten up a little.”
“So I’ve heard.” He sighed again, suddenly remembering Xu yelling at him in the elevator. ‘For once in your life be completely honest!’ Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad idea. He took a breath before admitting, “I am avoiding Xu.”
Laguna did a double take, not expecting a real answer at all. “That nice girl that works for you?”
Squall nodded. “Somehow I’ve made her upset with me.” He frowned, why was telling the truth so difficult? “No, I know why, but there is nothing I can do about it.”
Laguna chuckled, “I’m honestly surprised.”
Squall raised his eyebrow, inviting an explanation.
“It seems so,” he was fishing for the right words, “normal, for you.” Laguna chuckled again. “You’re usually are worrying about things on a global scale. To see you wrapped up in something as normal as girl troubles is kinda relieving.”
Squall pondered that for a moment. “Is that because it makes me seem more human?”
Laguna looked over to him in shock. “I was going to say more your age. Why on earth would you think you weren’t human?”
Squall stopped walking and leaned on the railing to gaze over the city scape, “I suppose it depends on what exactly is human.”
Laguna frowned, concerned about where this conversation was heading. He waited a moment to see if Squall might volunteer more information. Surprisingly he did.
“Could a human destroy an entire city in the blink of an eye? Or cross half a continent in just a few hours? How about eat their body weight in food every day and still be hungry?” He closed his eyes, “Would a human dream of hurting those he cared about? Crave blood and screams and violence? Wish to cut and flay and maim?” He looked his father dead in the eyes, his expression cold. “No, I do not believe myself to be so human anymore.”
Laguna felt a shiver run up his spine. Squall’s calm quiet voice was downright terrifying, no emotion, just cold fact. He swallowed, “Squall...” was all he could manage.
Squall gazed far into the distance once more. “Every year that passes makes me understand just a little more of what Ultimecia was trying to do and what Adel did do.” He sighed, “The power I have is dangerous, and I fear I may not be able to control it for much longer.”
They stood for quite some time in silence. Finally Squall shifted to stand, “I think I understand why people do that, it felt good to get that out into the open.” He nodded to himself.
Laguna nodded numbly, he hadn’t realized that Squall was that far gone. Dr. Odine had warned him that the GFs within his son would slowly take over his mind, but the eccentric doctor thought it would be a decade a least before any signs would show. It seemed that Squall had been concealing his problem so well that even the great Odine hadn’t noticed how bad it had already gotten.
Squall continued to walk towards the cafe, his steps lighter. Verbalizing his fears had felt good, liberating even.
Following behind, Laguna wracked his brain for the other warning signs he could remember Odine mentioned. “Hey Squall?”
“Hmm?” He tilted his head.
“How many GFs do you possess now?”
Squall tapped his chin in thought. “I’m not really sure.” He seemed to count in his head, “Must be at least eleven by now. It’s hard to keep track when they don’t maintain their individuality.”
Laguna felt that shiver once again. “What do you mean?”
“Have you ever junctioned a GF?”
Laguna shook his head.
“How to explain....” he pondered for a minute. “When a GF is junctioned it’s like another person in your head. They don’t talk per se, but you get hints of emotion and desires. The longer you junction them the stronger the feelings get, and the stronger the GF becomes. When I junction a GF it...” he searched for the right words. “It just disappears. Almost like it just melds into who I am and looses that sense of individuality. I still gain all of their abilities, but I am no longer able to summon them or pick their feelings out of the background noise. I only have three left I can still consider real GFs. Shiva, Bahamut and Eden.”
Laguna digested that unusually long explanation, “And this whole process makes you feel less human?”
Squall shrugged, “That’s part of it.” The complete truth, he reminded himself. “I feel like a stranger in my own skin. I’m not sure which GF gave me what anymore, but I can see and smell things that a human really shouldn’t be able to.” He glanced over to Laguna. “For instance, you are so terrified of me right now I can actually taste it.” It wasn’t an exaggeration, fear was a bittersweet taste, one he didn’t want to get used to. He knew he could grow to love it and a part of him already did, already craved more. He roughly shoved that feeling away into a corner of his mind.
Laguna laughed nervously, a trickle of sweat running down his face. “Afraid for you maybe.”
Squall shook his head and smirked, “If you weren’t afraid of me after learning that I’d think you were crazy. Everyone fears me, and with good reason I might add.” He paused, Xu had never been afraid of him he realized with sudden clarity. She had been alarmed before, but never truly afraid.
Laguna noticed the change in demeanour immediately, “What is it?”
“Xu,” he began, “Xu has never been afraid. Not even after...” He didn’t finish the thought. Xu had insisted that he was not to tell anyone what had happened that night. Not even the infirmary. He had never been able to understand why she defended him.
Laguna watched Squall sink deeper into his thoughts, the scowl on his face deepening. It seemed whatever spell he had been under that prompted his talkative bout, was over. He had learned more about his son in ten minutes than in the last several years. And he was terrified, he couldn’t deny that. Dr. Odine had outlined a very pessimistic future for Squall if he continued to use GFs the way he did.
The GFs would take over his mind and he would become uncontrollable. Laguna had seen Squall in combat during the last major push to clear another district. The boy was less a single person and more a force of nature, made all the more terrifying by Squall’s seemingly casual lack of effort during the whole event. If Squall were to ever lose control he would be extremely difficult to put down. Perhaps even impossible, Laguna realized soberly. He would have to contact Odine as soon as he was alone.
Squall, believing the previous topic to be done, changed the conversation without warning. “Have you taken your vacation yet this year?”
Laguna did not respond right away, having been caught off guard by the question. “No, not yet.”
Squall ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed. “Did you want to go fishing or something?” He looked away, “I’ve got some forced R&R coming up because of my back, so...”
The older Loire blinked, absorbing the question. “Yeah, I think that would be an excellent plan. Make sure you let me know when you are ready and I’ll be there.” He smiled, “This wouldn’t be because of Xu as well would it?”
“No,” Squall shook his head, “I’ve been trying to see you as my father. I thought perhaps something like fishing might help.” He shrugged.
Laguna laughed, “Well then, I’ll have to remember to bring my hedgehog proof gloves.” He nudged Squall in the ribs, “Your spines are very sharp after all.” Any excuse to lighten the mood was welcomed by the president.
The hedgehog in question snorted, but he smirked anyway. He had never liked pet names, but even Squall couldn’t deny that Laguna’s was very appropriate for him. At least it hadn’t been something cutesy and thoroughly embarrassing. Hedgehog was simple, and to people who knew him, self-explanatory.
The pair made idle small talk, which consisted of Laguna talking and Squall nodding, until they arrived at the cafe they had been heading for. Thankfully the lunch rush was almost over, and they had the majority of the place to themselves. For which they were both thankful, dealing with just the staff was enough to try Squall’s patience.
They settled into the large plush chairs at the back of the cafe after grabbing their drinks. Squall breathed in the aroma of his cup before taking a sip.
Laguna was watching the barista’s chittering to themselves, “Is it like this wherever you go?”
Squall nodded, “Always.” He quickly gave up on ignoring the girls and subtly cast a sphere of Silence around them. To distract himself, and settle his curiosity, he asked about the report of civil unrest he had read in Laguna’s suite. “You having trouble with the civilians lately?”
The older man sighed and leaned farther back into his chair. “Those in the least affected districts are chafing at the restrictions still in place,” He shook his head, “As well as playing host to the refugee’s from the area’s still the worst off.” Sipping his coffee he gripped his mug, “Makes me want to show them what it’s like in the worst districts. Get them to understand why things are the way they are.” He sighed again, “I can’t though. All I can do is try and explain things.”
Squall gestured with his mug, “Imagine you had the power to make them see. Should give you an idea of what it’s like to be me.”
Laguna looked up at him in shock, than narrowed his eyes, “What do you mean?”
“I could turn the district into a war zone in less than a day.” He shrugged, “Would be as easy as breathing. I wouldn’t even have to damage the infrastructure to do it either. Just a few well placed Bio spells…” He took a long swallow of his still hot coffee, “Not giving in to that urge is what I have to live with everyday.”
Laguna glanced at the barista’s who had gone strangely silent. “I meant bring them to the worst affected areas, not kill them. Are you sure you should say things like that in public?”
Squall let out a barking laugh, “Hah! I put up a Silence, the stupid, vapid, fangirls can’t hear us.” He took a gulp of his coffee. “People like them are one of the reasons I don’t leave Garden much.” Shaking his head he gestured with his hands, “I get a box this big of stupid fan-mail every week. Only a handful are worth replying to, I burn the rest.”
“Really? Do you read it all?” Somehow Laguna couldn’t see his son reading fan-mail.
Squall rolled his eyes, “Only enough to know whether to burn it or not, I usually know within the first few lines.” He shrugged, “Quite a bit of it is straight up porn, along with the usual marriage proposals.”
Laguna laughed, “Porn?” He slapped his knee. “Is any of it any good?”
Squall shook his head, “Some of it is quite entertaining, but not for the same reason the writer intended.” Shrugging he gestured with his hands, “Sex just doesn’t hold the same fascination for me as it seems to with most guys.” Or at least not regular sex, and nothing compared to the raw thrill of killing monsters anyway, he thought wryly.
Laguna swallowed the last of his coffee, “Is that because it’s girls writing you?” He never grew tired of poking fun at Squall.
Squall deadpanned, “When did I say it was just girls?” he nearly laughed when he saw Laguna’s brain catch up with that comment. He covered his smirk by finishing the last of his mug.
“What? But...” He floundered for a moment before laughing, “You got me there.” He pointed to their empty mugs, “Want to stay for another round?”
“No,” Squall shook his head, “I need to eat. Where do you recommend?” He stood stretching and let the Silence spell drop.
Laguna looked up in shock as the noise of the city returned to the area, “I know a great place just down the street.” Rising he led his son out of the cafe, spotting the refection of the starry-eyed baristas behind them.
Now that they were in a more commercial area and the foot traffic around them had increased, so to did the whispers. Squall seemed mostly immune to it, but a tightening of his face betrayed his growing annoyance. Everyone kept a respectful distance however, and they all seemed content with just staring at the unusual pair and gossiping to themselves.
“Here we are.” Laguna announced once they had walked several blocks, “This is one of my favourite restaurants.” He glanced at the ever watching crowd, “They don’t have private rooms though...”
Squall shrugged and walked into the restaurant. “Whatever.” He quickly took in his surroundings. They were still on the tail end of the lunch rush and the majority of tables were full. He spotted an ideal booth at the back, the quiet subdued lighting casting the booth into shadows from this angle.
The host seemed to be taking his time, obviously thinking him just some random person. His attitude changed dramatically once Laguna entered.
“Mr. President, how nice of you to drop in today. Your usual table?” He gestured with two menus towards a window table.
“No.” Squall responded curtly. “We will take that booth in the corner.” He pointed to the one he had spotted just moments ago.
The host looked to Laguna for confirmation, his annoyance at having been ordered around by some nobody plain to see.
After being seated, and giving their drink orders Laguna apologized for the host. “I’ve never seen him be so disagreeable before. If I had known he was going to be like that I wouldn’t have brought you here.”
Squall waved a hand dismissively, looking over the menu. He was both annoyed and amused. “It’s been a long time since someone hasn’t recognized me. Honestly, I had forgotten what it was like.”
Laguna laughed, “I’m surprised he didn’t notice the family resemblance.” He hadn’t looked at his menu yet as he knew exactly what he wanted. “Do you know what you want?”
Squall nodded and folded the menu, “Yeah, I’m just going to get a snack.”
Laguna tilted his head, “You already ate?”
“That was over an hour ago.” He leaned back onto the padded bench and watched the waitress approach with their drinks. She seemed to know who they both were, if her flushed face was any indication. The cute blonde was obviously trying her hardest to remain professional but her gaze kept drifting to Squall. She managed to take down their orders and almost ran from the table towards the kitchen.
Laguna chuckled, “I still can’t believe you don’t have a girlfriend, you obviously have to fend them off at every turn.”
Squall rubbed his nose, “Because dating would change that at all...” He really wished his sense of smell wasn’t so good at moments like this. He adjusted his belts to sit more comfortably.
Laguna caught the movement, “She’s cute eh?”
His son shrugged, “She’s ‘ready to go’,” he finger-quoted, “You smell that and have no reaction.” He added sarcastically. “There are some things that the body does on it’s own.”
Laguna winced, “Ouch, never thought of that. I guess a better sense of smell isn’t all that great sometimes eh?”
“You have no idea.” He sighed, “I can ignore some smells, but that’s one of the few that’s really difficult to ignore. That and blood.”
“Like a lion.” Laguna mumbled to himself, obviously thinking.
Squall tilted his head, “What?”
The older man pulled himself back from his thoughts, “You are a lot like a lion. Aloof, proud and predatory.” He swept his hand dramatically, “Master of all you survey.” He folded his hands under his chin. “I wonder if Edea saw that when she chose Leonhart as your last name.”
Squall’s hand reached up to touch his pendent. “It’s because of this pendent.” The metal was warm under his fingertips. “Edea gave it to me the day I was sent to Balamb. Told me it was from my parents.” He smirked, “I know that was a lie, but it was a helpful one as a child.”
Laguna had the urge to hug his son again, to have grown up in a military school with only combat as a long term goal. Laguna couldn’t imagine how hard it must have been. “This is probably going to come out wrong, but...” He took a breath, “In a strange way, I’m glad you were never adopted.”
Squall narrowed his eyes, withholding judgement until his father explained himself.
“I mean, you can’t miss something you’ve never had right?” He sighed, “Yeah, that did come out wrong.” He shook his head, “Growing up in Balamb must have been so lonely. I can’t imagine what it must have been like.”
Squall’s eyes seemed to focus on something far away. “Please, don’t make me remember.” He half whispered, half pleaded, trying with all his might to keep the memories shrouded in the haze of his mind.
Laguna closed his eyes, “I’m sorry.” he shook his head. “I don’t think I can ever be sorry enough. If I had just known...”
The memories came unbidden to his thoughts. “Stop.” His childhood had been full of tears, both his and later the children he lashed out at. Being one of the only students without a home outside had made him bear the brunt of the school bullies. HIs small stature had not helped and he had been forced to grow hard and learn to fight dirty, earning him a reputation that lasted to this day. It was a blessing that he couldn’t remember his years growing up. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to derail his train of thought.
Laguna watched as Squall seemed to retreat into his memories, his expression unguarded and venerable. The look tore at Laguna’s heart, he had always been cautious to not directly bring up Squall’s childhood, but with his son being so open he thought he could help the boy get some closure. But it looked like the wounds ran too deep, too raw. Laguna forced himself to stay in his seat as Squall shook his head, his expression angry. He could almost see the bristles Squall was surrounding himself with to protect his psyche.
Squall rubbed his scar and took a deep breath, reining his emotions under control. Why was Laguna so very good at getting under his skin, and through his armour? No, the better question was why he kept letting his defences down around him. He knew this relationship was going to involve pain, and yet he still wanted to tough it out anyway. “No pain, no gain.” He murmured absently to himself. He looked Laguna in the eyes once more. “I don’t really blame you. Circumstances maybe, but not you.”
Laguna raised an eyebrow, was Squall feeling alright? He had never forced himself to try and remain unguarded before. What had gotten into his son today? The whole visit had been surreal.
Squall didn’t continue right away as their appetizers arrived. The waitress seemed to have gained better control over herself and was no longer as flustered as she offered to refill their drinks before disappearing again.
Squall thoughtfully chewed a mouthful of salad before continuing. “The day I found out you were my father was probably the most confusing I’ve ever had.” He shrugged, “It’s been eight years and I still can’t quite wrap my head around it.” His expression hardened, “I don’t have many years left in me. I want to make the best of them before I lose myself.” He chewed another mouthful, “That involves making you family.” He pointed with his fork to emphasize his point.
Laguna was at a loss for words. There was so much crammed into that short speech that he wasn’t even sure where to start. “I...I don’t know what to say...” He stammered.
Squall smirked, “Say thank you, and eat your appetizer before it gets cold.” He pointedly had another mouthful.
Laguna smiled, “Thank you, Squall.” That was the second time Squall mentioned he was getting worse, and knew he wouldn’t have more than a few years of control. That added a much more urgent spin on everything he had learned today, there had to be a way to help him.
They ate in peace both absorbed in their own thoughts. It wasn’t until their main course had arrived that the conversation resumed.
“I thought you said you were getting a snack?” Laguna stared at the large meal the waitress brought.
Squall picked up his fork, “You were here when I ordered. I wasn’t kidding when I said I eat my own bodyweight in food everyday.”
“I know it’s just...” Something occurred to Laguna at that moment, “Wait, back in the cafe you said ‘Need to eat’. What happens if you don’t?”
Squall visibly winced. “I really don’t want to answer that.” He ducked his head and filled his mouth to avoid answering.
Laguna blanched, “You’ve never hurt anyone have you?”
He looked up sharply. “No!” His face was full of fury, and he had shouted far louder than he meant to. Xu’s skin had been soft, her taunt muscles straining against his grip. His eyes widened and he paled. “At least, not badly.” He looked at his hands, what was he becoming? What had he already become?
Laguna swallowed, “Squall, you have to see Odine, maybe he can help...” He began softly.
The anger returned to his face, “No, I will not let him poke and prod me for his own amusement. I’ll deal with it myself when the time comes.”
“Squall, you don’t mean...”
Squall nodded, “I’ll just disappear.”
Laguna reached across the table, “You can’t kill yourself, there may be another way.”
Squall’s brow furrowed in confusion and he tilted his head, “Suicide?” There was something that had never entered his mind. “I meant leave. I know all the remote places of the world. No one will ever find me.”
Laguna sat back in his seat, “You would rather run away than see if can be fixed?” His relief that Squall was not contemplating suicide was palpable.
The younger man scowled darkly, “It’s not running away.” Besides, deep in his heart he knew he could never go back to the way he was before. The changes to his body were permanent, technically nothing was broken.
Sighing, Laguna continued his meal, “At least think about it, would you?”
Silence descended heavily onto the table, neither sure of how to break the tension. Slowly, Squall’s skin began to feel too tight and his shoulder blades ached with renewed vigour. Had it been that long since his last dose? Discretely, he palmed a few of the tiny pills out of his pocket and into his mouth.
His father caught the motion, “What was that?” He sounded honestly curious, rather than accusing.
Squall waited until the pills dissolved before replying. “Pain killers for my back. It’s why I have some R&R coming up.” He rolled his shoulders in a stretch before continuing his meal. “It’s not a big deal.”
Seemingly content with that answer, silence returned. They were almost finished before Squall piped up again. “This really was quite good. Thank you for bringing me here.”
Laguna chuckled, relieved to have something normal to talk about. “That’s why it’s one of my favourite places around here. Are you still hungry? They have a great dessert menu.”
Squall tapped his chin thoughtfully before a rather feral looking grin crossed his face. “Say, do you want to see something amusing?” His eyes darted around the room looking for their waitress.
Laguna hesitated, “What did you have in mind?” He hoped it wasn’t anything too bad.
Squall’s toothy grin widened with mischief before he quickly cleaned off his plate. Spotting that the waitress was heading their way, he put a neutral expression on his face.
“Was everything to your liking?” The blonde asked as she gathered up their empty plates.
Squall looked her right in the eyes for the first time since he arrived, and smiled warmly at her. “Everything was wonderful, thank you.”
The poor waitress inhaled sharply, her face flushing with colour. “Ah, I-I’ll let the kitchen know. Would you like anything else?”
Squall pointedly let his eyes wander down her body, “I’m in the mood for something sweet.” Before looking her in the eyes again, “What’s your favourite dessert?” He leaned his chin on his hand and tilted his head, looking for all the world like he really did want to know.
The dishes in her hands rattled slightly as her hands trembled. “Ah, um.” She stammered her face quickly growing red.
Squall held up his hand to stop her. “Why don’t you surprise me?” He smiled and winked at her.
Her knees almost buckled, “I’ll be right back.” And with that the poor thing practically ran for the kitchen.
Squall managed to maintain a straight face until she was out of sight before grinning like a madman. “Works every time.”
Laguna was impressed, he hadn’t been sure that his son even knew how to do that. “Where did you learn to do that? I thought you didn’t seduce people?”
Squall leaned back in his seat and put his hands behind his head, looking very pleased with himself. “I actually read the fan-mail you know. Read enough and you quickly learn the most common trends.” He tilted his head, “I’m surprised you don’t receive the same kind of letters actually.”
Laguna shrugged and chuckled, “When I was younger perhaps.” He lifted his hand to show Squall the gold band on his ring finger, “The ring kept most of that stuff to a minimum.” He smiled sadly at the ring and the memories it represented.
Squall lowered his hands into his lap, “Did you ever find anyone else?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, it was why he had never asked before.
Laguna closed his eyes. “No.” He shook his head, “No one could replace Raine. Your mother was a very special person.” Laguna smiled sadly at Squall, “You remind me of her sometimes.” He laughed lightly, “And myself as well. Although your sense of humour is a little twisted I must say.”
Squall smirked, “You seemed to find it funny enough.”
“True,” Laguna chuckled, “Just don’t break the poor girl, okay?”
Squall waved a hand dismissively. “It’s not like she sees me as a person. Objects of fan worship rarely are, that’s why we are called ‘objects’.” He shrugged, “I can get away with anything as long as I don’t touch her. Touching breaks the illusion.”
“You seem very confident in that. Much experience?”
Squall smirked, “I have to find my entertainment somewhere. I can’t kill things everyday after all.” He sniffed the air. “Oh, that smells good.”
As if on cue the waitress returned with dessert. It was a triple layer, chocolate fudge brownie, with vanilla ice cream and whipping cream, drizzled with chocolate and caramel. She presented it with a flourish, “This is our triple fudge brownie cake.” She lay two clean sets of cutlery in front of them. “Please enjoy.”
Squall unwrapped his fork and carefully scooped a large piece. The brownie was still warm, the ice cream a delightfully cold contrast. He let the taste linger on his tongue for a moment before addressing the blonde still standing next to the table, obviously praying that he found it to his liking.
“This was exactly what I needed, thank you.” He smiled at her again before addressing his father. “Laguna you need to try this.” He scooped up another large fork full while he licked chocolate off the corner of his mouth.
The waitress smiled and flittered away, her hands still trembling. Laguna watched her float away in her own little world before trying the cake for himself. “I haven’t had this in a while.”
Squall nodded, “Good chocolate is hard to come by in Balamb.”
They continued their idle discussion about food as they polished off the large slice of cake, eventually slipping into a comfortable silence, as each retreated to their own thoughts.
“I suppose it’s time to go then?” Laguna smirked as Squall idly drew swirls into the chocolate on the plate between them with a finger.
Squall looked up in shock, having been surprised out of his thoughts. “Yeah, I guess.” Suddenly, he turned his head sharply to the door. He scowled, and a low growl started deep in his chest. It was a very inhuman sound.
Laguna looked to the door as well, confused, seconds later a short, flustered man burst into the restaurant. He was sweating and panting, obviously terrified. Laguna looked back to his son. Squall was wound like a coiled spring, his eyes locked onto the front door even as the man stumbled farther into the building. He started leaning forward, about to launch into motion. Laguna instinctively knew that Squall wasn’t all there, and that leaving him in this state would be dangerous.
“Squall?” He prompted softly. Squall’s ear twitched. “Squall.” He said more firmly, moving his hand to touch his arm. The movement caught his attention and Squall turned to him. Laguna gasped, Squall’s eyes were white, his black pupils thin slits. A look of confusion crossed Squall’s face, he blinked and his eyes returned to normal; before the look of confusion smoothed away on the next blink and the colour faded away as they swivelled back to the door when the screaming started.
Squall could sense everything in the restaurant, every meal, every person, and the fear around him was literally palatable. Worthless, all of them, his attention was on an energy source marking a worthy target. His fingers spasmed, they were pressed against the table so hard the wood groaned with the stress. Movement in the corner of his eye drew his attention. His mind prompted that the prey closest to him was not prey, and not stronger than him, it was an unusual conclusion. Pack member, his primal mindset supplied and immediately dismissed it in the same heartbeat. The man at the door finally started screaming and his attention was drawn to the noise. His blood surged with adrenaline, and he rose from the table in one smooth motion, somehow already knowing exactly where his targets were. The terrified man cowered from him and just pointed out the door.
Laguna jumped up to follow Squall, it was obvious that he was not in control and a real danger, but something was happening outside. Running to keep up with his son, Laguna stumbled when he hit the pavement outside. Three red dragons were winging over the city. Laguna felt his knees go weak, “You have got to be kidding me.” He groaned, scanning the crowd for his son, while he fought against the press of bodies towards the dragons.
The noise of terrified people almost overwhelmed his senses before he darted through the panicked crowd, leaving bruises and broken bones in his wake, the taste of fear drowning out the scent of his prey. He growled in frustration, and looked around, he needed to be higher, closer to his prey. There, the shiny square structures were closer together here, running on top of them should be easy. Dashing over he looked at his hands, they were wrong, stubby pink fingers, weak, useless for climbing, wrong. Standing at the base of the wall he looked at his hands and flexed, sharp pain lanced down his arms as a set of blood red claws pushed out of the useless pink digits. The translucent skin bulged and tore as the dark furred muscular fingers manifested. Grinning he tore the bloody flaps of skin away and flexed his new hands, strong, muscular, deadly, right. The scent of his own blood filled his nostrils and he leapt for the wall, using his sharp claws to gouge out hand holds on his quick climb. He hit the ground running, feral grin plastered to his face as he saw his prey circling a clearing up ahead. They wouldn’t know what hit them.
Laguna lost sight of Squall when he darted between the buildings, his lungs burned trying to get enough oxygen to his overworked muscles. “I’m getting too old for this shit.” He skid to a stop in the alleyway, it was a dead end. He panted and looked for some sign to let him know what way the headmaster had gone. There, blood splattered on the ground and wall, as well as what looked like a pile of jelly. He poked it with a finger, flesh, it was a pile of flesh. Gingerly he lifted a piece, it looked like a strip of skin, he dropped the raw flesh and followed the blood trail to the wall. Somehow Squall had gouged handholds into the plastic and metal wall. Laguna sighed, “I’m getting way too old for this shit.” He climbed the wall, and stopped once on the roof, breathing heavily. He scanned the roof tops, the dragons looked to be circling the plaza in the distance, no doubt hunting the people still there. Squall was leaping between the rooftops on a direct course for them. There was no way he was going to be able to follow, the gaps were just too large for him to jump. He sighed and pulled out his radio.
“I need a pick-up. I’m on the roof of Skyway Delivery.”
“Roger Sir, on our way.” The radio crackled and went dead.
Laguna watched the rapidly disappearing black figure. What the hell had happened to his son? He keyed on his radio once more, “Someone bring Dr. Odine to the palace.”
“Sir? Are you alright?” Was the concerned reply.
He sighed again, the Red Dragon’s screams of combat drifting on the wind as Squall met his targets. “Yes, but we are going to need his expertise. Tell him…” One of the dragons fell from the sky, it’s death cry loud and plaintive, “Tell him, ‘The storm is coming.’” That would bring the crazy bastard running.
“Roger Sir. Message received.”
Laguna watched as a bright flare of magic blasted the second dragon. “Please stay in control hedgehog, don’t make me put you down.” The dying cries of the second dragon drifted on the wind.
Squall roared his frustrations to the world, too easy, his mind knew of no greater prey than the great winged beasts, so why was it so easy? He leapt for the last of the trio, his powerful claws rending the delicate wing membrane he landed on. They twisted as they fell, the dragon screaming when it’s bulk hit the ground. Not wasting any time, he leapt for the back of it’s neck intending on landing a killing blow. The dragon tossed it’s head trying to shake him off. He sunk his talons into the red scales, they cracked under the pressure and he dug into the soft flesh underneath. The tossing grew more desperate and Squall bit the spine under him in an attempt to break it. He couldn’t get a grip on the slick scales, he growled, why was his body so wrong? He snapped his teeth together, wrong, all wrong. He knew what he was supposed to be, why wasn’t his body correct? He roared in frustration again, and pulled at the scales over the spine he wanted to crush. They peeled off with a wet tearing sound. He bit at the bare bloody skin, still not right, he bit harder, clenching his jaw until he felt something give. Sharp pain lanced through his skull and he roared in pain, before biting down once more. This time his teeth sunk into the soft flesh to the bone underneath. He clenched and felt the bone give with a satisfying crunch. He ripped the huge chunk of flesh free, gulping it down before digging deeper into the wound. Large prey had large bones, and he dug until he reached the sweet marrow inside.
The dragon gave a strangled cry before falling limp, it’s spinal cord severed. Now that his teeth were working right he gulped down a few more hunks of flesh to ease the constant gnaw of hunger. There was a high pitched whine approaching, he tracked the sound to it’s source. A large flying creature with no wings was heading right for him. He flexed his claws, maybe this would offer a challenge? It stopped just outside his leaping range, there were markings on the side and he immediately relaxed. Pack member, his mind told him. He turned his attention to bolting down more of the slippery meat as the flying thing drew closer. A hole appeared on the side and his pack member appeared in the gap. He was yelling, and waving his arm. Swallowing one last hunk of meat he leapt for the hole.
It was a long jump and he skid to a stop on all fours, his bloody claws sparking against the metal floor. He sniffed the air as he rose to a crouch, there was a sour smell, and fear, lots of fear. His pack mate crouched near him, cautious, wary. He reached out a soft pink hand, making soft soothing noises. Squall leaned over to smell it, to get to know his pack mate better. Smelled like he did, his sire, his memory supplied once more. He rubbed his cheek against his sire’s fingers, wanting to feel physical contact. He shifted closer, claws clicking loudly on the metal floor, and pressed his side up against his sire’s, resting his head against his shoulder. His sire continued to make soft noise and ran his fingers through his mane. It was relaxing, curled up next to a warm body, his belly comfortably full, and a hand stroking his head. He yawned and licked the blood off his nose, in his contentment his chest rumbled in a soft growl. He snarled briefly at a sharp pinch on the back of his neck, but relaxed when the pain was soothed away with soft hands and soothing noise. Sleep overtook him quickly then, the anaesthesia Laguna injected into the back of his neck taking effect immediately.
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Squall’s nickname is a reference to the ‘Hedgehog’s Dilema’ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hedgehog's_dilemma I seem to remember someone bringing the tale up in game, in reference to Squall.
Laguna seems like the type to have nicknames for everyone, and most parents have nicknames for their kids (or at least all the parents I know do). So I decided to run with it, the name is horribly appropriate and anything else would have seemed contrived, imo.
So yeah, Squall’s kinda leapt off the deep end here, I hope everyone followed the stream of consciousness stuff, it’s kinda a new style for me. I also hope everyone was okay with the perspective shifting, I tried to make it as clear as I could, but I can see what’s going on in my head….let me know if it isn’t clear.
Once again I love reviews!! Both good and bad! I’m taking a right turn here in terms of Squall’s character so let me know what you think ^.=.^
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Blue Skies: A Requiem for Storms