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Breaking Alphinaud	By : DarkRockman Category: Final Fantasy XIV > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 3705 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XIV or any characters therein. I am making no money from this.

Chapter List
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Warnings for liberties taken with Eorzean geography. E-Sumi Yan/Alisaie appears in this chapter, though only as a passing mention.

Eorzea was safe. Several moons had passed since the people of the realm came together and knocked the Garleans out. The three city-states of Eorzea went back to their usual business, the adventurers went back to their adventuring….
… and Alphinaud was trying to avoid Thancred.
He and Thancred were part of a group outside of the city-states’ control. They had their headquarters in the desert town of Vesper Bay. As members of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn, they had their own duties to perform.
Not for the first time Alphinaud wished Thancred had perished at Castrum Meridianum. He felt guilty each time, but his presence made things difficult. Their adventurer friend had somehow freed Thancred from Lahabrea’s control and rescued him. Alphinaud should be glad.
He shouldn’t dread every turn of the corner in the Waking Sands.
His steps didn’t hurt, not anymore. Every sight of Thancred sent phantom pain coursing through his hips. The sound of the Hyur’s voice caused him to lose his breath to panicked gasps.
This was ridiculous. Thancred hadn’t hurt him. It had been Lahabrea. For what felt like the hundredth time, Alphinaud stamped his irrational fear down. It was done and over. There was no reason to be afraid of a friend that had apologized for his body’s misuse.
Bells rang out throughout the building, signaling that it was time for the midday meal. Thancred usually missed it. It would be safe. Maybe with some food in his stomach he’d be fine.
At least no one else noticed anything amiss with his behavior. The only ones who knew the truth of his capture at Castrum Meridianum were Thancred, Cid, and Y’shtola. The Miqo’te conjurer had been the one to soothe his wounds after the fact. In order to provide the best treatment, she’d had to know everything that happened.
He’d managed to keep his composure through that. Why, then, could he not do this?
He neared the entrance to the common area and paused to listen. He could hear others taking their meals but Thancred’s voice was absent. It was safe.
Which was a ridiculous thought. Of course he was safe. No one here would hurt him as badly as Lahabrea had. He resisted the impulse to shiver, but his ass throbbed in memory.
Not even Thancred would hurt him, he told himself fiercely. He pushed the door open and made his way to where the food was served. Thancred wouldn’t hurt him. If only he could convince his instincts of that.
He was reaching for a tray when he heard it. Thancred’s voice preceded his entrance into the room. He managed to keep his hand from knocking over the pile of trays. The Lalafell behind the counter shot him a concerned look.
“I just remembered that I have work to be done,” he said in a voice he kept from shaking through willpower alone. “I will see you for the evening meal.”
“You hardly eat anymore,” the Lalafell chastised. She filled up a bowl and forced it into his hands. “You’re skinny enough as it is. I can’t let you skip another meal!”
Alphinaud sighed and pointedly didn’t look to the door. “Forgive me for making you worry,” he said instead. “I shall do as you say.”
He turned away from the Lalafell – which, conveniently, let him turn away from the door. He could pretend Thancred wasn’t there if he didn’t see the Hyur. He made his way to the table in the farthest corner of the room and kept his back turned on everything. This wasn’t unusual for him, especially lately. Even before, he was not the most sociable person.
Thancred’s voice taunted him. Alphinaud tuned it out and tried to focus on eating. The Lalafell was right, of course. He skipped meals when Thancred showed up. It helped him avoid this unreasonable fear.
He slurped the food down quickly as possible while still maintaining his calm demeanor. He didn’t realize how hungry he was until it hit his stomach. Just how many meals had he missed? He paused mid-bite, Thancred forgotten as he tried to recall his last meal.
He couldn’t remember. He stared down at his bowl and sighed. Perhaps he should get seconds. His stomach was demanding more. When he stood to return to the lunch line, the bowl in his hand clattered to the floor.
Thancred stood behind him, hand out. It was the Hyur’s appearance that had caused him to drop the bowl. It looked like Alphinaud had interrupted him in the act of getting the Elezen’s attention. “Hey,” Thancred said softly.
Alphinaud knew that Thancred wouldn’t hurt him. Even so, he couldn’t keep his legs from backing up a few steps. His greeting got lost somewhere between lungs that wouldn’t work properly and a throat that was closed up. He glanced around for some escape and saw every eye in the room on him.
His falling bowl had attracted attention. This was not good. The pressure to keep his cool skyrocketed. Alphinaud forced his lungs back into their proper rhythm. This opened his throat and he managed to say, “Hi.” Anything more complex and he would panic again.
Thancred shifted nervously. Alphinaud ignored him and bent to pick up his dropped bowl. This was just a normal day. There were no rapes to be had. There was no reason to be afraid.
Still on his knees with his hand on the bowl, Alphinaud looked up to see Thancred leaning over him. His body forgot this whole acting normal business and he scrambled backwards. “Stay away from me!” he cried.
His voice echoed around the conspicuously silent room. He could feel the eyes on him like burning hot brands. He only had eyes for Thancred, who had backed up at his outburst.
“Alphinaud, you know I wouldn’t hurt you,” the Hyur tried to assure. “I just want to talk.”
Alphinaud’s heart thumped in his chest like he was running a marathon. He struggled for every breath. “Don’t,” he managed to gasp. “Don’t come near me!”
The blood thrumming in his ears almost blocked out the sound of murmuring that ran through the spectators around them. Alphinaud tore his eyes from Thancred and swept his gaze across his fellow Scions. Their meals lay abandoned on the tables as they inched towards the pair in the corner.
It was just what he needed, Alphinaud thought bitterly. He backed away from Thancred, and from his comrades. “Just stay away from me,” he ordered all of them. The phantom burning pain had started again, beginning right around his tailbone and radiating up his spine.
A hand touched his shoulder. He flung himself away from it with such force that he crashed against the wall. The stone behind him was unforgiving and Alphinaud felt an unnatural chill from it. For the briefest second, the familiar walls of the Waking Sands vanished.
He was back in that frigid cell, with Thancred’s hands all over him. He covered his eyes to block out the sight, but he couldn’t block the feelings. He sank to his knees with a stifled sob. Every technique he tried to banish the memories no longer worked.
He felt the presence of others around him. In his irrational state of mind, all he could think was that these others were going to hurt him, too. He tore his hands from his eyes so he could have them to fight – though it hadn’t help last time, had it? No matter how hard he fought, Lahabrea had held him down.
Every face around him was Lahabrea’s. He stared around wildly. There was an opening between a Lahabrea with Miqo’te ears and a Lalafell Lahabrea. He bolted for it.
It wasn’t until he slammed the bolt home on the door in his room that he came back to his senses. He panted from exertion and the last remnants of his fear.
His brain finally caught up and he took a few steps back. What had he just done?
“I ran,” he whispered in horror. “None of these people would dream of hurting me. Why did I think they would?”
He sank to the cottony softness of his bed. He wrapped his arms around his knees, not caring that his shoes were dropping dirt and other things into his blankets. He replayed the scene in his mind and groaned.
“How can I show my face again?” he asked his knees. “They won’t trust me again, not after this.”
There was a knock at his door and the knob rattled. “Alphinaud?” Y’shtola’s voice called. “Alphinaud, it’s all right. No one is going to harm you.”
He didn’t answer. What could he say? He knew that he was safe. He’d been safe in their camp, too, before Lahabrea had grabbed him.
His grip on his legs tightened. There were more knocks, followed by the sound of shuffling feet and muted voices. He blocked them out. All he wanted to do was stop existing for a little while.

Alisaie Leveilleur dismounted her chocobo and handed its reigns off to the chocobokeep standing ready. The sun was angling towards the horizon, bathing the sleepy desert town in front of her in a golden glow.
Her internal clock said the sun should just be rising. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. Aetheryte-lag was going to be killer. If this wasn’t an emergency, she wouldn’t have gotten out of bed in the wee hours of the morning. She spared a thought to curse Eorzea for being large enough to house such disparate time zones.
“Welcome back, Alphinaud!” the Lalafell chocobokeep chirped. “You must have teleported out. I don’t remember seeing you leave!”
Being physically identical to her brother had its disadvantages. Alisaie adjusted her travel bag, which drew the chocobokeep’s eyes to her chest.
“I’m so sorry!” she eeped. “Forgive me for assuming.”
“It happens frequently. Don’t trouble yourself.” Alisaie looked across the city towards her goal. Vesper Bay was a small town on the outskirts of Ul’dah. The Waking Sands was in a corner of it, out of the way of casual traffic. Before its discovery, and the fame of the Scions, it had been the perfect spot for a secret organization.
Another yawn threatened, reminding her of the reason she’d traveled this far. She made her way to the Waking Sands and greeted the Lalafell who manned the door.
“Good evening!” Tataru said with a grin. “Welcome, Alisaie. It’s a pleasure to see you here. What brings you to the Waking Sands?”
“I’m here to see my brother.” Alisaie pulled out the reason she’d gotten out of bed at such an unholy hour. “Y’shtola messaged me. The moogle that delivered this seemed quite distraught.”
“I see. I don’t know the details, but there was quite the ruckus several bells ago.” Tataru looked towards the door that led into the depths of the facility. “The people who left since then mentioned something about Alphinaud.”
That sounded right. Y’shtola’s words on the letter were light on details as well. There’s something wrong with your brother. We don’t know what to do. Come quickly.
Alphinaud never needed help. Even if he was misguided, he was strong. That a third party had to write her in the middle of the night was worrying.
Alisaie glanced at a clock. Time difference, right. It had been the middle of the day when Y’shtola penned the note. Still, it didn’t lessen Alisaie’s worry.
“I shall go see to him, then. I’m sure all he needs is a stern scolding.” Alisaie bid Tataru farewell and descended into the depths of the Waking Sands. This wasn’t her first visit, but as she didn’t know Alphinaud’s location, she stopped the first familiar face she saw.
It happened to be Y’shtola. The Miqo’te woman smiled at her, though it was strained. “Thank you for coming, Alisaie. Forgive me for dragging you here at such short notice.”
“Tataru said something happened with Alphinaud,” Alisaie said. “Can you explain what?”
Y’shtola hesitated. “Let us find someplace private to have this discussion.” She eyed a group of adventurers that passed by. “There are too many prying ears, and this is a sensitive subject.”
As they sought a private room, Alisaie studied Y’shtola. The Miqo’te woman’s white ears were low on her head, their color matching the hair that was tied in two tails on the side of her face. Her pale, slitted eyes looked up at Alisaie, then slid away to watch the corridor in front of them. Her white shirt was dusty, the mechanical goggles at her neck not shining in the light. The black trousers she wore was also spattered with dust.
“Have you been crawling around someplace that has not seen a good cleaning in moons?” Alisaie asked.
Y’shtola started and looked at her clothes. “Ah, yes. I spent time outside your brother’s room. It’s amazing how much dust can stay on top of stone until brute force knocks it loose.”
They settled into a small sitting room just off the main hallway. “I’m sure you, along with all of Eorzea, heard of the Scions’ role in the Garlean ousting,” Y’shtola began. “Towards the end, Alphinaud was in our main camp when he was stolen away.”
“He was rescued, I assume,” Alisaie said.
“Of course. Cid found him wandering Castrum Meridianum’s corridors.” Y’shtola hesitated. “Something happened to him. I won’t go into details because it’s a very personal something, but he was badly injured. I healed his physical wounds, but he has emotional ones that run very deep. Had I known their depths, I would have asked him to take some time away from us.”
“What happened?” Alisaie waved the note. “Alphinaud isn’t injured, is it?”
Y’shtola shook her head. “No, thank the Twelve. We’ve had someone standing outside his room since he locked himself in. He hasn’t made a sound.”
“Why has he locked himself in his room?” Alisaie wanted to know.
“He had… a breakdown, would be the kindest way to put it.” Y’stolda wrung her hands in frustration. “The signs have been in front of my eyes, but I ignored them. He is strong, but he is not above admitting his failings. I should have expected this to happen.”
“Tell me what happened.” Alisaie rubbed Y’shtola’s shoulder to try to calm her down. The conjurer was normally calm and controlled. This wasn’t in character for her at all. This, in itself, worried Alisaie. What had happened to Alphinaud?
“Something traumatic happened to him in Castrum Meridianum. Today, during the midday meal, he lived that event again.” Y’shtola stropped wringing her hands, only to capture her tail and start picking at its end instead. “He freaked out and ran. He hasn’t come out of his room since then.”
“What happened?” Alisaie demanded. This didn’t sound like Alphinaud. After their grandfather’s death, they’d learned to stand on their own in this world. For something to break him like this, it had to be something realm-shattering.
Y’shtola’s ears twitched as she thought. “He was assaulted by Lahabrea,” she said at length. “I will not go into any further detail than that. Lahabrea, at the time, was possessing Thancred’s body. We’ve since freed Thancred, do not worry. However, it was his presence that triggered Alphinaud today.”
It was enough detail for Alisaie. She nodded her thanks. “I will see what I can do. Please take me to my brother.”
When she stood outside Alphinaud’s door, she listened carefully. There was no sound from inside the room. All she heard were footsteps leading away from this room – Y’shtola and the adventurer who had volunteered to watch this room were returning to their normal duties.
Alisaie dropped her travel pack to the floor next to the door, tossed her long ponytail back over her shoulder, and knocked on the door sharply. “Alphinaud,” she said in her best big sister voice. “Alphinaud, open this door right now.”
She heard a sharp intake of breath from the other side of the door. “Alisaie?” Alphinaud asked. There was a rustling, then sluggish footsteps headed towards her.
When the door cracked open, Alisaie controlled her reaction. Alphinaud looked haggard. His hair had come loose from its normal ponytail and was hanging raggedly around his head. Normally bright blue eyes were dulled.
“Hello, Alphinaud,” she said. He opened the door enough for her to squeeze in. It was an average room, like one would find in the inns of the adventurer’s guilds. There was a bed against the left wall and a wardrobe in the corner. Other than that, it was bare stone.
“What brings you here?” he asked. “After our less-than-amicable parting, I did not expect you to seek me out again.”
He was making an attempt to act normally, Alisaie had to give him that. “Your friends are worried,” she answered casually.
Alphinaud’s shoulders fell. “I suppose they are. I cannot face them at this moment. Not after what happened earlier.”
Alisaie brushed the hair out of her brother’s eyes. “They will understand if you explain it to them.” He was fragile, she remembered, and she kept her touch gentle. The way he flinched away from her had her wondering. “Y’shtola told me some of what happened to make you react in the manner you did. She did not tell me everything.”
Alphinaud closed his eyes and took a calming breath. “How much did she tell you?” he asked. His voice trembled.
“Only that you were assaulted,” Alisaie said. “A creature wore Thancred’s body and assaulted you.”
When Alphinaud sank to his knees with a restrained sob, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “It’s all right,” she told him. “I’m here for you. No matter our disagreements, I’m always here for you. Nothing is going to happen to you.”
His whole body was shaking. She stroked his hair just the way she did when they were children and he needed reassurance. “Come on,” she said gently. “The bed is much more comfortable. Let’s get off of this cold floor.”
She helped him up. He leaned heavily on her, as if he’d lost all strength in his limbs. Maybe he wanted her to support him. In any case, she led him over to the bed, then scowled at the dirt streaking the white sheets.
“We can’t have this,” she cajoled lightly. “Wait just a moment.”
She set Alphinaud on the floor again, gently, and went in search of some sheets. “You know, things have been interesting while we’ve been apart,” she said lightly. At the bottom of the wardrobe, she found a fresh set of sheets. She put them in Alphinaud’s lap and turned to the bed. “I stopped in Gridania after our parting.”
Alphinaud didn’t answer, just smoothed the sheets over his knees. Alisaie pulled the blankets aside and stripped off the dirty sheets in a smooth motion. “I had the fortune to run into Brother E-Sumi Yan. He’s the Conjurer’s Guild guildmaster. I was hoping he could help me out with our problem, and well, we ended up in an entirely different situation altogether.” She smiled at the memory. “The things that man can do with his tongue-”
“I do not require any details,” Alphinaud cut in. Alisaie smothered her grin when she gathered the clean sheets. He sounded exactly like his old self just then.
“Anyway,” she continued while she worked, “nothing came of that lead. I do keep in touch. We meet up every moon or so for a date. I’ll have to send him a letter of apology,” she realized. Tomorrow was their planned night.
“You’re dating the guildmaster of the Conjurer’s Guild,” Alphinaud said dully. “I suppose it could be worse. When this unpleasantness has passed, I believe I’ll pay him a visit.”
Just like his old self, Alisaie smiled. “Will you warn him away from hurting me, like a good little brother?” she asked innocently. She smoothed out the blankets and put the pillow in its place. “There.”
“I’ll put the fear of Carbuncle into him,” Alphinaud vowed. When Alisaie turned back to him, she saw him struggle to his feet. “I am fine, sister. You need not go to all this effort for me.”
“You’re my brother.” She wrapped her arm around his shoulder and led him to the bed. Despite his words, he leaned into her embrace gratefully. “I’ll be here to help you whenever you need it.”
They settled on the bed, though when Alphinaud put his feet up, Alisaie glared at him until he kicked off his shoes. That explained the dirty sheets from before. They ended up with Alisaie leaning against the wall near the head of the bed. Alphinaud rested his head in her lap and curled one hand over her knee.
A simple beating would not have left her brother in this state. This was the position he adopted when the world was wrong and he was about to be swept away in it. She gathered his long hair in her hands and soothed the tangles from it.
“What happened?” she asked softly. Her bag was still outside the room. She wished she had brought it in with her.
His hand on her knee clenched. “Lahabrea. He kidnapped me to further his own agenda. I was the one devising strategies for the Eorzean forces. It was his hope that my disappearance would cause our armies to falter.”
“It was more than a simple kidnapping,” Alisaie guessed.
She felt his shoulders start to shake. He never got this upset for anything. The last time he’d cried was when they were children. She rubbed his shoulders and ignored the wet drops on the exposed part of her hip.
“H-he tried to get me aroused,” he sobbed. “He held me in his hands, and when that didn’t work, he put his mouth on me.” He shook his head and pressed his face into Alisaie’s stomach. This muffled his next words, but not enough to render them inaudible. “When that failed, h-h-he broke me, Alisaie. He used Thancreds’s body to- I can still feel it in-inside-”
His voice broke and he couldn’t continue. Alisaie urged him upright so she could wrap him in a hug. It was something out of her worst nightmare. If that was to happen to one of them, it should have been her.
“I would do anything to take that back,” she said fiercely. “I would give anything to have it happen to me, not you. I’m sorry.”
Lahabrea had raped her little brother. Her instincts were crying out for her to go rip the bastard to pieces and show them to Alphinaud. If what she understood was right, though, Lahabrea didn’t have a physical body. The only one she could tear apart was Thancred.
“Did Thancred try to stop him?” she asked. He shook his head and gripped her harder.
“That was the worst part,” he said softly. “I could have handled Lahabrea’s taunts. Instead, he allowed Thancred control of his voice. He apologized the whole time.”
That was a pity. His blood would have felt so good dripping down her fingers. With nothing physical to dig her fingers into, she focused on Alphinaud in her arms instead. She stroked his back comfortingly.
“So, today,” she started.
“It’s idiotic,” he said bitterly. “Thancred had nothing to do with my assault. I haven’t been able to tolerate his presence. I don’t eat when I know he’s going to be there, but my work rarely affords me the chance to take meals outside of the Waking Sands. Today, he showed up, but I already had my meal. I was finishing when he approached, and-” He sighed. “I relived the attack right there, in front of everyone. My behavior was shameful.”
“It’s not your fault,” Alisaie told him. She forced him to look her in the eyes as she continued. “It should not have been expected of you to continue on as if nothing happened. Why did you not call me before?”
He looked away. “You had your own task. I believed I could handle this on my own.”
She snorted and pulled him close again. “Obviously not.”
She waited until he broke their embrace. He scrubbed the tears from his eyes and wrapped his arms around his knees.
“Thank you,” he said after a long moment of silence.
There was no need to ask for clarification. Alisaie gathered his hair back into its customary tail and used the tie from her own hair to secure it. The red looked odd on him – he usually used blue ties. She snickered despite herself.
“More people are going to mistake you for me now,” she teased.
Alphinaud scowled at her. “I should go apologize,” he sighed. “I know many of them will be forgiving, but that doesn’t negate the need for an apology.”
“The sun has already set,” Alisaie told him.
“Oh. If you arrived here at sunset…” He paused. “Everyone will have retired already.” He rubbed his eyes and stifled a yawn. “I suppose it is time for me to as well. Forgive me, Alisaie. I am a poor host.”
She bopped him lightly on the head. “I am your sister, Alphinaud. I do not need hosting.” She slid out of bed and went to the door. “I will seek out anyone awake in search of a room of my own.”
“Don’t!” Alphinaud yelped, then clamped his lips shut. His normally pale cheeks were red. He coughed and looked away. “You can stay in here. It won’t be the first time we’ve shared a bed.”
He didn’t want to be left alone, though he was too proud to admit it. Alisaie smiled. “Of course. Allow me to retrieve my pack, then. It’s just outside the door.”
She felt no shame in changing into her pajamas in her brother’s presence. She didn’t look at him while he changed, mindful of the circumstances of this visit.
Perhaps her early waking would serve her well. She wrapped protective arms around her brother and felt sleep calling. Alphinaud curled up into her with a contented sigh.
E-Sumi would just have to have her regrets, Alisaie decided. She composed her letter to him in her head until she drifted off.
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Breaking Alphinaud