Resurfacing

"She knows."

"...what?"

"She knows..."

"What the hell are you talking about, Vince? Who knows what?"

Vincent figured it was his incrediclous look he flashed the pilot that finally caught Cid's attention. "Who the hell do you think?!"

It was one thing for Vincent to get upset- it was another for him to start swearing, something that rarely happened with the gunman, and it was something that always made Cid take an uncomfortable step back.

He'd been snatched away by Reeve once again to act as a coachman, staying a god forsaken week in Junon while playing a tour guide about the fishing town to the WRO president and his guests. Not that Cid really MINDED being in Junon, after all it was the plae he was born and grew up in, but he had really, really been looking foreward to going home to spend more time in the company of the red eyed man. Now, judging from the distance Vincent was keeping himself away and the tone of his voice, Cid knew it probably would have been a better idea to stay away a while more. Cid took the unlit cigarette out of his mouth and slipped it behind his ear as he gave the gunman his full attention. "Vincent, just tell me wha the hell you're talking about. I've been gone for a week, ya know, and I don't see why you had to talk to me up here."

Vincent pushed himself away from the metal bar he was leaning against, walking back and forth nervously across the old wooden planks of the rocket lift station. He had drug Cid up there on a last second whim, convinced no where else in the town was solitary enough to talk about something quite as private as this. He sighed and turned back towards the pilot, his face set in a frown. "I'm talking about Shera, Cid. You know...your WIFE?" He tried to ignore the flinch that appeared in Cid's face as he continued speaking. "Do you know what she asked me last week while you were gone?"

"I don't know, Vince, some advice on makeup?" Cid tried to bring some humor into the conversation, failing miserably as the look on Vincent's face shot down his own smile.

"She asked me wether or not I knew if you were CHEATING on her!"

"WHAT?! The fuck's she talking about, cheating on her?! Who the hell does she think I bust my ass for?!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR FIVE MINUTES AND LISTEN TO ME!" Vincent's yell rang out over the platform, carrying louder and angrier than Cid thought it could be. The red eyed man stood there, his face one of pure anger and frustration. He could feel himself trembling, the adrenalin buidling up inside of his body with every passing second. His right hand was clenched into such a tight fist he could feel his long fingernails cutting deep into his palm. It was the pain he felt and the shocked look he was getting from Cid that helped him calm down as he leaned against the railing, clutching the metal with his free left hand. He made sure his voice sounded at least somewhat calmer as he continued speaking. "I've already told her all of that, the whole nine yards...and I lied through my teeth to her about you not cheating on her."

"But I'm not cheating on her, Vince. There ain't any other woman in my life except Shera, you know that." Cid kept his voice lowered. choosing his words carefully as not to get the gunner yelling at him again.

"Cid, you ARE cheating on her, and I know not with another woman!....you're doing it with..with ME. And I had to sit there and LIE to her about this and...and it made me feel...."

"Like shit, I can tell. Vincent.." he saw Vincent lift his head to look at him, as it was rare Cid used the gunner's whole first name. "I'm sorry you had to do that, I am...if I had been here you wouldn'tve had to sit there and do that. I'm sorry, baby. But Shera knows now, and I'll talk to her and settle all this out-"

"I can't do this anymore."

The words hung there in the air for a moment, the silence interrupted only by the soft howling of the wind wiping around the metal supports. Cid shifted uncomfortably, hoping to whatever merciful diety that was listening that he didn't just hear what he thought he did. "What do you mean, Vince...?"

"The lying, the secrecy, the hiding...I can't do it anymore. I can't sit there again and have to listen to your legal wife asking me through tears if her husband is being faithful, and LIE to her and tell her no when I'm the one you're being unfaithful with. " Vincent kept his eyes settled at the wooden planks below his feet, unable to look Cid in the eyes. "I love you, and I have to hide that fact from EVERYBODY, and I do't want to do that anymore."

The pilot could feel a lump forming in his throat, a foreign object that he was sure he could remember what it was if he tried. "What are you saying Vince?....You mean ya wanna...?"

"Yes."

Cid was sure that under normal circumstances, words (more than likely swear words in large numbers) would have been easier to come by on any other occassion except for this one. The lump in his throat was growing more annoying by the second, making it hard to breathe. He could feel a similar tightness in his chest, and he hoped for a fleeting moment it would be a heartattack or something similarily distracting so he didn't have time to think about what he'd just heard. He could feel his body shivering for some reason that had nothing to do with the wind, and his eyes searched for the red ones that avoided looking at him. "Oh."

"I know you understand...I just..didn't want to have it come down to this, Cid...but it has. Shera...I respect her, and I know what she's feeling and...I don't want to ever see that look in her eyes again...we can't keep this up. This has to change, Cid. I love you...but I don't want to hurt anyone in order to do it...I'm sorry."

Cid swallowed hard, hoping it would loosen the knot in his throat. It only got bigger as he spoke. ".....if that's what you want."

"Thank you for understanding, Cid...I'd like to be alone for a while while you go..."

Cid wished, if even for a second before he turned around and began walking down the stairs, that Vincent would look at him, give him an idea of the reasons for this that was running through Vincent's head. The gunman never did, and Cid bagan his slow, knee popping descent down the rickety metal stairs towards the ground. The clanging of the metal underfoot echoed in his ears louder than he ever thought it would, the wind in wrapping around his body and chilling him to the core despite the late afternoon sun beating down on him full force. He payed no attention to the sound of the October grass crunching underfoot, unaware of where his steps took him until the looming shadow of the Highwind cast over him, and threw him into shade.

He looked up at it but never really payed attention to anything as he walked up the steps towards the entrance, walked down the stairs and across the metal ramp leading to the cockpit. It was only when he felt the push of one of the handles of the steering wheel did his eyes focus to look down at the smooth, polished wood in front of him. Cid raised an ungloved hand, trailing his fingers down the surface of the wheel to rest on the main part of it. He was shaking now more than ever, and the tight knots forming in his body were tighter than ever. He didn't remember turning, didn't remember walking towards the seating area where everyone used to stand on the long flights during thier battle of sephiroth, and payed no attention as he sat down in the area where once, a metal armed, black haired gunman with sad red eyes once stood.

He sat there, feeling numb. He didn't even notice the small drop of water that landed on his jeans until he looked down and saw it and realized that, for the first time in YEARS...he was crying.

The knots inside his body loosened, and it was pure chaos as the inevitable trickle of tears became a flood, and everything became blurry.

Cid High, age 38, the best damn pilot in the whole damn world, sat there with his face in his arms, knees to his chest and cried, the only sounds in the cockpit that of his muffled sobs.
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AN- more to come. stay tuned.