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Walking Out on Destiny	By : HarliqueenNight Category: Final Fantasy VII > Yaoi - Male/Male Views: 2575 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 1
Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII and all things associated are owned by Square Enix and Testuya Nomura respectively. I own nothing save for the characters and places created for the sake of this fan fiction and recieve no profit in the creation of this fanfiction.

Chapter List
- 32
- 33
- 34
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Walking Out On Destiny Season 3
Episode Three: The Break Down
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Three Months Later…
Zack and Angeal approached the training room with quick urgent steps; one intent on seeing his little boyfriend again while the other intent on seeing said boyfriend's progress. When they go to the observation lobby, Sephiroth and Genesis were already waiting there. Sephiroth stood with his arms crossed over his chest beside a very stiff Genesis. They both watched through the glass intently. Zack came up beside Sephiroth pressing his face to the glass excitedly.
"Did I miss it? Is it his turn?"
"Down, puppy," Angeal said calmly, though there was a hint of anxiousness in his voice.
"Next Cloud Strife 120lbs, height 5ft freshman cadet," the announcer blared. "Opponent, Michael Cornelius, junior cadet, 200lbs, height 6'2."
Zack scrunched his nose. "That's outside his weight class. Hell, that's outside his everything class."
"Of course it is; I wouldn't have it any other way."
Zack jerked his head to the right seeing Dr. Lucrecia standing there smugly, her still fairly new assistant Shalua at her side. They pulled out their respective data pads and began to collect notes.
"He is enhanced after all, he needs better testing. You all know that well enough, don't you my dear first classes."
Zack blinked in confusion but the lack of reaction from the other three SOLDIERS made a dark tension wrap around the room. Zack licked his lips and glanced at Sephiroth whose face remained emotionless and his jade eyes focused on the blonde as he stepped out on the mat. Zack sighed and watched.
"Enhanced whatever, two months isn't long enough for him to face off against a junior."
Cloud took a deep breath and he felt a sense of finality when his bare feet touched the mat. The bigger boy, Michael smiled kindly.
"Good luck," he mouthed before taking an aggressive stance.
Cloud smiled a little and nodded before blanking his face and took a defensive stance. He already knew that he wasn't going to win this fight. Michael was bigger, stronger, faster, and had training already. The only advantage Cloud had was that he had a little Mako in his veins. He didn't go in with any aspirations to win and he was fine with that. No, he was going to lose and he was going to lose spectacularly!
"Here I come kid!"
Cloud felt his heart pound. "Big guy, big guy, big guy!" He quickly dodged when he was reached out for and avoided the following blow. He surprised himself and Michael by actually punching the bigger boy in the ribs as hard as he could, it staggered him a bit. Michael recovered quickly and smirked.
"You ain't as weak as you look. Guess I shouldn't take it easy on you!"
"Oh please don't!" Cloud replied batting his eyelashes silly-like.
Michael laughed and attacked him in earnest this time. The boy was fast, big and his hits hurt like a bitch, but Cloud found that his small size had some advantage. He could dodge; get the hell out of the way quick fast and in a hurry. He managed to make Michael's blows roll off him, placing hits in the same spots repeatedly. He'd snuck Michael's ribs four times and it was starting to affect the bigger boy. He was leading with his unwounded side now and was getting pissed off at how Cloud danced around him. Michael picked up his speed and increased the force of his punches; catching Cloud in the eye and making him roll backwards. Michael didn't give him time to recover before he was grabbed and thrown across the mat.
Parker snarled. "The fuck you doin' Strife, waiting for him offer you his dick! Get your ass up and defend you fucking self."
Cloud stumbled to his feet. "Easy for you say, you hick bastard," he muttered as he dodge rolled out the way as Michael swung at him. He latched on to the outstretched arm and used it as leverage to get him high enough to punch Michael in the face. Michael backed up in shock of actually getting hit in the face. Cloud took that moment to Charlie Horse his leg with a hard kick and right hooked the boy. It wasn't as hard as he could have, Cloud admittedly was getting tired, but he wasn't going down without making Michael work for it.
"OH! That's it Spikey stay on his ass," Zack exclaimed.
"Hmm, the little chicabo knows he's going to lose, he's just prepared to give him a fight."
"The kid's got heart," Angeal admitted. "He knows he doesn't stand a chance, but he's doing his best"
"He's going to win."
All eyes turned to Sephiroth including Lucrecia's.
Genesis's brow rose. "Aren't we being a bit optimistic, Seph?"
There was no hint of amusement on Sephiroth's face as his eyes remained glued to the fight. "He's going to win…he just doesn't see the advantage he's made yet."
Cloud was proud that he didn't go down when Michael punched him square in the gut and nearly rearranged his organs. He did double over though giving Michael the chance to hook him in the face again. He rolled and held his stomach as he skidded to a stop. He realized though, that that right hook wasn't as hard as it had been. He took a moment to lie there and look at Michael. The boy was winded and he could see him leaning a bit to the right, shielding his ribs. Had Cloud really punched him hard enough to injure with those few random blows? Cloud quickly got to his feet and dodged the jab Michael attempted and punched him in his ribs again. He heard the easily missed hiss of air that escaped Michael before the boy twisted and kicked the blonde back. Michael was hurt! And as bad as that made Cloud feel that was an advantage. Just as the realization hit him he was grabbed from behind and was put into a head lock, his air being constricted.
"Oh, it's over now," Angeal judged.
"There's no way Cloud can break that sort of hold. He doesn't know how, unfortunately," Genesis said with disappointment.
"Come on, Cloud, don't let him choke you out!" Zack shouted through the glass though he knew he couldn't be herd.
Sephiroth's fist clinched beneath his arm but he remained expressionless. "Think, Cloud."
Cloud felt himself growing dizzy and struggled hard against the black spots in his vision. No, no, no, he found a weak spot. Which side? Which side was he on? He couldn't think straight as his brain slowed from oxygen deprivation.
"Tap out, Cloud!" he heard Dom shout.
"He'll put you out, tap out!" Kyle shouted.
"You can still do it, Cloud. You're not unconscious yet," Rosso's voice was heard above the roar.
"Tap out, Strife! He's not going to hesitate to choke your ass out!"
Zack flinched at the unfocused look in Cloud's eyes. "Tap out, babe…"
Sephiroth narrowed his eyes at Cloud slowly losing consciousness. "Come on, Cloud."
Cloud wiggled and sink his teeth into Michael's arm surprising him. His grip loosened enough for Cloud to maneuver. He put his hands together and elbowed Michael in his ribs as hard as he could digging in as he did. Michael immediately let go but not before Cloud elbowed him a second time. Michael doubled over, turning his side away from Cloud to protect it. The blond coughed trying to get more air but ran and jumped on Michael's back. He then hooked his arm around the boys swollen neck and clung tightly, using his other arm to squeeze and cut off the air. Cloud hooked his legs around the boys waist from behind to ensure he couldn't be knocked off and held on for dear life as Michael flailed around trying to dislodge him.
Zack made a surprised sound before cheering. "Fuck yeah! Choke his ass out! Get 'em Cloud!"
Sephiroth smirked though he knew Cloud wasn't out of the woods yet. "Hang in there."
Conte watched the display, watched how feral Cloud's face became even as Michael slammed him against the walls at the edge of mat. The boy was a fighter that was for sure, a survivor. It was a bit dirty to continue to ruin Michael's ribs by digging his heels in, but Conte liked that. The boy knew he was small but he didn't let it stop him from fighting back. He fought dirty, but he fought.
"Tap out, Michael," He ordered.
"No sir," Michael strained out hitting at Cloud. "I'm not letting this little pixie make me tap out!"
"Okay fine," Conte shrugged. "Choke him the fuck out Strife, that's an order."
"Yes, sir!" Cloud shouted his voice strained at the effort but the order gave him more strength and his grip tightened as much as it could and he used his heel to kick Michael in the ribs one good time. It brought he boy down and Cloud stayed on top of him, his legs wrapped securely around the boy. He kept his grip locked until he felt Michael's struggles die down and suddenly the boys hand raised and tapped the mat quickly. Cloud didn't let go however. He looked towards Conte.
Conte smirked and nodded. "Let him go."
Cloud let Michael go and rolled off him, he got to his feet and he cupped his hands around his mouth and howled startling Sephiroth and Genesis. The entire platoon howled back followed by numerous cheers. Zack laughed and pumped his fist in the air.
"Fuck yeah! Fenrirs man."
Conte approached Michael to assess his injuries but as he passed Cloud he ruffled the boys spikes. "You fought and did your best and you followed orders to the letter. Good job Strife."
Cloud blushed a little but he felt exhilarated. He won. He fucking won!
After class, Cloud waddled his achy self out of the training hall having been granted the rest of the off since it was Friday. Zack rushed him and scooped him up into a hug. It hurt like a bitch but he was happy to be surrounded by Zack's warmth.
"Damn Cloud that was the hottest thing I've ever seen you do! I'm sorry I doubted you at first but fuck you came through like a champ! Good job!" Zack babbled excitedly.
"Thanks, I didn't think I would win either you know."
"Heh none of us did!" Zack said but then looked at Sephiroth. "Well except Sephiroth. He saw something we didn't. He said he knew you were going to win."
Cloud's eyes found Sephiroth's and to his surprise the man immediately averted his gaze. "You did well Cloud, I expect you'll be ready for Genesis and I sooner than we thought. Excuse me."
Cloud was taken aback by the coldness of the General's voice as he brushed passed them, leaving confusion among them. Genesis scrunched his nose.
"Oh what's the ice queen on about now?"
"I dunno," Angeal murmured however Cloud caught the tone in his voice that said he did. "I'm going to go talk to him."
"I think we both should," Genesis said suspiciously. "So one of you can tell me what's going on."
Zack shrugged and pulled Cloud in for a kiss. Cloud made a surprised squeak and pushed him away. "Not here! They already think I'm the SOLDIERs bitch!"
"But you're my bitch," Zack whined, earning him a bop on the head. "Alright, alright, it's the weekend anyway, so I can wait to kiss you all I want."
Cloud smiled. "Maybe, after a good hot shower first. I hurt in places I didn't even know I had."
"Conte's still a hard ass, but I think you really impressed him today. That's gonna make your time real easy."
"I hope so, I'm tired of being the runt."
"Cloud?"
Both boys immediately separated and looked in the direction of Doctor Lucrecia. She stood with a knowing smile on her face and winked. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me. I just wanted to congratulate Cloud on his success. I must admit, the data I collected was not as I expected. Cloud you are an exceptional survivalist. You're ability to think so quickly almost made me believe I was still studying Sephiroth!"
"Really!" Cloud said with blush.
"Oh yes, in fact you and your squad have done so well, I think I will reward you. No lab visit on Sunday, alright?"
Cloud smiled. "Thank you!"
"Oh it nothing, you're all young, you deserve to have some fun!"
Zack eyed her suspiciously but he appreciated the time alone with Cloud for the weekend. It would be nice to not have to nurse the blond back to health from his Mako highs.
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Hojo walked with his new "assistant" close in tow. It took a lot to not glance back at the man as he played his part well. Newbie assistant did not suite Vincent well. His long hair had been placed in a high ponytail, with his brushed bangs obscuring most of his face. Hojo insisted that he tame his hair so that he would not be so recognizable. His glowing crimson orbs were disguised by specialty contacts that hid the Mako light and allowed him to be unrecognizable. They allowed for ten years of obscurity to do the rest. After all, no one had given thought to Vincent Valentine in years, so having a random new Wutain assistant provided no suspicion as Hojo signed him in and put a fake identity into the computer. It took much argument to make Vincent leave the gun at home. Now they were safely inside his private quarters in his lab where they both mentally relaxed. Vincent sighed and took a seat in his usual place not noticing the slight quirk at the corner of Hojo's mouth at the familiar gesture.
"So, I'm in, I need access to the Turk floor. How do I get that from here?"
"I handle the Turk Mako regimen now, so it will be simple to-"
The door pushed open and Heidegger burst in with Tseng reluctantly in tow. "Professor, good to see you finally coming in to work. I was just about to talk to the President about cutting your funding with the amount of convalescence you like to take! Gyahhahaha."
Tseng rolled his eyes behind the bigger man and drew his attention to the man sitting on the couch. He narrowed his eyes in scrutiny trying to identify the stranger who kept his head bowed, his bangs obscuring his face. There was something very familiar about the air around the man and Tseng felt the tug of his inner demon bubble. Who was this…an assistant? Tseng decided to ask Hojo later about the man as well as ask after Vincent's health. Hojo had been avoidant on the subject of Vincent and Tseng had been obscenely busy with the company, Rufus, and Reno to devote real time to it. As far as Tseng knew, Vincent was still suffering amnesia and Tseng was the furthest from his thoughts. That hurt a bit to think of but…he would push forward. He'd gotten what he wanted and that was the point.
"Are you paying attention you slant eyed dog!"
Tseng's knees buckled abruptly at the sudden pain shooting down his spine from his collar. He dropped quickly having not being prepared for Heidegger's assault. Vincent was immediately on his feet to catch Tseng's head before it hit the hard floor. Tseng was in far too much pain to even open his eyes. His back arched as Heidegger toyed with the settings. Vincent flinched at the cry of pain that escaped Tseng's lips and he instinctual reached to his hip for a gun that was not there. He cursed beneath his breath and held Tseng close trying to anchor the young man. Hojo glared at the larger man.
"As much as I appreciate a good torture for the sake of science, this deplorable pointless display of power is not my taste. Stop now."
Heidegger frowned at the authoritative threat in the man's voice but lowered the control bracer on the color. "Careful, professor, you might end up with one of these as well."
"You don't have enough clout to get a collar around my neck, Heidegger. What do you want so you remove your stagnant stench from my labs?"
"As I was saying, the President wants a stronger hold on the Turks. They like this filth are getting ahead of themselves. We'll give you a fresh subject to test them on if you outfit the collars with Confuse Materia as well as other hindering shards. We want them deaf, dumb, and blind when we feel the need to. Him lying on the floor will do nothing if he's able to get back up after a quick sleep."
"Wht is your point in debilitating the Turks," Hojo spat.
"Lady ShinRa is back on her feet. If you know what's good for her, you'll keep the power out of her hands as long as possible."
Vincent's eyes narrowed to dangerous slits and he looked at Heidegger's back. He could hear the whispers of his demons crying out in unison for the fat bastards blood, but Chaos stilled them.
Not yet Vincent. This one is not ours to kill. Our little's one blood sings for this one. Vengence is his.
Vincent shut his eyes and shook his head to clear it of the voices. "What is this Hojo?"
Hojo knelt beside him an examined Tseng to make sure there was no permanent damage. "It's the shock collars I informed you of. They give an electric charge of a materia shot directly into the spinal cord into the nervous system which is why there is no getting used to it. Tseng and any other Turk simply drop and are no longer in their minds. Which is why I am not understanding this sudden need to add more protocols to it. Its designed well enough, Reeve should be proud."
"Reeve? Reeve Tuesti?"
"Yes, he's no longer as young and naïve as he once was in our day…he's seen the horrors of this company and has seen what happens when you try to change it. Now he simply does as he's told."
"When did the power shift so much?"
"When the last person who could do anything died…so to speak."
Vincent stared into the vacant eyes of Tseng, seeing no attempt to focus in those pale grays. "Tseng…" He kissed his forehead and lifted him gently from the floor. He nestled him safely onto Hojo's couch. "How long will he be like this?"
"It depends. In all honesty, I'm surprised there's not more damage since Tseng is Heidegger's favorite punching bag. As you recall, he hates Wutai and Wutains and any and everything to do with Wutai. Even a half blood like you doesn't escape his radar."
Vincent ran his fingers distractedly through Tseng's hair as the other man stared unseeingly at the ceiling. "…I have to see him, Hojo."
"Who?" Hojo knew who.
"I need see what he has become…I need see what sort of life I left him to."
"Sephiroth?"
"Sephiroth."
Hojo sighed and checked his data tablet for Sephiroth's schedule. He glanced at Vincent's pained face as he covered Tseng in his lab coat and hesitated. This wasn't smart, but the scientist in him saw this as very good chance to experiment. He wondered what sort of contac would coming into contact with Sephiroth would have on Vincent's already shakey sanity. Hojo adjusted his glasses and studied the schedule. It was still early, placing Sephiroth in training rooms with Genesis and Angeal.
"Come, I know exactly where he is. Tseng will be fine, He's woken up in my office several times since my return."
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Sephiroth stared out over the bay of Junon Port, the Mako cannon beneath his feet. He watched the sunsetting feeling no warmth from it, its rays not stinging his eyes like it should.
"It's been a while, huh? Since we last entered this setting," Angeal said coming up beside him.
"Even if it's an artificial image created by technology, it makes it no less enthralling," Genesis murmured. "So…want to tell me what has you so enthralled Sephiroth?"
"I do not," was his immediate answer.
"You can't keep hiding this. It's good to see you showing emotion, at least what little you do, but moodiness was never a healthy thing on you," Angeal nudged him. "We're your friends, Sephiroth, we won't judge."
"I will!"
"Well Gen might, but who gives a shit about his opinion anyway."
Sephiroth closed his eyes. He didn't want to talk, he was never a man of words and asking him to express how he felt was like pulling teeth, unpleasant for everyone involved. Still, they considered themselves his friends and he still valued them. Wordlessly, Sephiroth drew his Masamune slowly, relishing in the whisper of its metal as it brushed the sheath. Angeal and Genesis both had backed away hands on their weapons quickly drawing them. They knew this type of conversation well. It normally ended in very pleasant sex, but unfortunately they were not so sure this time. Sephiroth disappeared from their sight and Genesis swung his rapier to meet his blade from above. Angeal swung the massive Buster Sword aiming towards Sephiroth's side to stagger him, but the silver haired devil was far too agile. He roled himself against the blade using the force to land him away from them both. When they attacked again, he tripped Angeal and plucked Genesis in the back of the head. Genesis chuckled and Angeal smiled whole heartedly as he got to his feet. This was the Sephiroth they knew. Playful prankster. This was the one they missed. They attacked together, swords clashing against the hard steel of the Masamune and sparking dangerous fire. Angeal observered as Sephiroth was playful with them, not taking the fight seriously but kicking their asses as he often did. But then when Genesis sought to meet Sephiroth's attack with his a materia blast of fire, Angeal was given pause. Through the glow of the fire, Angeal saw a strange sort of darkness in Sephiroth's eyes when they fell on him and Genesis. He rejoined the fight nearly pushing Genesis out of the fray but the redhead kept up, not understanding Angeal's sudden aggression. Sephiroth's eyes slit dangerously and his blows became harder and harder forcing Angeal to block more often than counter. Genesis narrowed his eyes and became more serious to, his moves becoming more graceful and calculated. He realized what Angeal had caught on to, even though he was always the slower one.
Sephiroth was frustrated with them…no…he was angry. And that in turn pissed Genesis off.
"What is it?" Genesis shouted as he landed attack blows that were easily deflected by the masamune. "What is it Sephiroth? Why is it us you're angry at when we've been trying to keep you at our side. What reason do you have to be this pissed off when YOU pushed US away!"
"Genesis!" Angeal shouted as he blocked one of Sephiroth's attacks. "That's not it."
"As usual, G you miss the point seeing only yourself as the victim here."
"How am I not. I've spent months trying to reconnect with you but all we've gotten to is a flimsy friendship at best where you don't even give me the time of day! Yet here you are fighting us like you want to kill us!" Genesis swept the blade of his Rapier clipping a few strands of Sephiroth's hair.
Sephiroth leaned back from the attack and grabbed Genesis by the throat, lifting him from his feet and throwing him into the air. He slashed his sword aiming to wound but not seriously injure sending him back into the base structure of the cannon. Angeal chose that moment to halt Sephiroth's assault with the Buster Sword and push the silver haired man back.
"What is it Sephiroth? What have we done?" Angeal whispered.
Sephiroth stared down into Angeal's eyes his pupils constantly constricting and dilating. "….Neither of you are there anymore."
Angeal blinked and twirled the Buster Sword by the blade rolling masamune gently off the surface without scratching the polished blade. "You don't want us to be, Sephiroth."
Sephiroth's eyes narrowed and he twirled the massive katana giving it momentum before launching a brutal assault on Angeal who merely defended. "I've had a new loft for ages, fixed things in it and made it livable, spare rooms, food, and luxury. I've gone to every lunch, listen to every problem, groaned at every recitation of Loveless, and heard your insecure wonderings through phones, dinner conversations, and whispers in the dark while one of you believes the other is sleeping!"
Angeal skidded back on his feet. "Sephiroth…"
"All I seem to get from you is how every little thing I tell you of is a bad idea, isn't good for me."
"At least we care enough to tell you what's bad for you! To prevent you from making idiotic decisions!" Genesis shouted activating the runes on his Rapier, blade glowing an angry red. "You can't make these choices on your own! You're too much of a sociopath!"
Sephiroth shoved Angeal aside and took the force of the rapier through his katana. Angeal jumped between them pushing them apart.
"Sephiroth, we want to be there for you."
"Then stop admonishing everything I say!" Sephiroth snarled catching Angeal in the side with the sword. "I don't judge Genesis for being in love with the ShinRa's bastard child! Coddling and protecting him like he's a long term project!"
Genesis froze as if struck. Sephiroth glared at Angeal. "And I have never judged YOU for being in love with Zack….watching him and wanting him even though he has someone. I've seen your eyes watch him when he's with Cloud…you never look at anyone but us that way. You both have bad choices you're choosing to make in your life and I have yet to scold you for them! I have yet to judge you for them. So why can't I confide in either of you anymore!"
Genesis lowered his sword and Angeal looked away.
"I am angry because I have so much to say that I do not know how to express and the two people in my life who have ALWAYS understood are so focused on their own shortcoming that they use them to judge mine instead of just listening." Sephiroth struggle to voice how he felt but he was satisfied that it was able to come out clearly. "I…am in strong like of someone that I have no intention of going after, but that does not mean that I wish to keep it all in. I...overflow when I do. My best friend shouldn't be a teenager I met in a flower shop. My best friends should be you…"
Sephiroth sheathed the Masamune and canceled the hologram revealing the cold dark training room. He looked between them registering the shame on their faces and lowered his head.
"This…that I am becoming may someday not be able to recognize you. I do not wish for it to be because you both have removed me from your lives." With that, Sephiroth turned and walked out. As the door slid shut behind him he rubbed his temple to soothe the headache in nesting there. Gentle hands barely reached his temples and rubbed there.
"So much hurt…" Aerith whispered. "So much rage. Don't worry; I understand. I won't let you become this monster you fear."
Sephiroth looked down at her with tired eyes. "How?"
"This love you have for all of them is powerful. It's a soothing balm and I won't let all this negativity poison it."
"Aerith…" Sephiroth wrapped an arm around her waist and placed his forehead against hers. She held him gently with a soft smile on her pink lips. "You're the only one who can still reach it…"
She shook her head, rubbing their foreheads together in a comforting gesture. "There will always be someone who can reach your heart, Sephiroth. No matter how hard you try to suffocate the poor thing. Come on, let's go get dinner!"
They walked away from the training room, never noticing the two figures standing in the shadows. Vincent watched after Sephiroth longingly, surprised at how much he'd grown and desperate to sooth the pain he saw there. He was supposed to be there for Sephiroth, to stop him from becoming the monster they wished him to be. Lucrecia had taken the boy away from him, had warped what humanity he had fought so hard to instill in Sephiroth. He closed his eyes, fighting the bubble of rage. If he did not calm down, he would destroy all of ShinRa and that would not help matters. He turned and looked at Hojo and saw a strange saddened glint in his eye as he watched Sephiroth walk away with the girl.
"...Vincent…I don't think I was ever cut out to be a good father to that boy. He needed so much more than what my logic and knowledge could provide and I doubt I could've given him that."
"It wasn't a father the boy needed…" Vincent whispered distantly. "It was a mother."
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"And then I choked him out!"
"Oh Cloud! Good job, I'm so proud of you and your father would be too! Hah, I knew you had some Strife in you!"
"Moooom."
"Cloud, you have no idea how proud you're making me every day that you tell me something new. You aren't giving up. That's what makes me happy. You're being strong just like you are when I'm sick. Don't ever let them make you feel like you don't belong there because you do. You belong there and I'm glad I didn't stop you."
Cloud sniffled.
"Don't cry," she said gently. "I didn't mean to pour all this on you. I just...I feel like I've never said enough of how amazing you are. I need to say it every day because you Cloud are definitely going places." She giggled. "Oh speaking of, how's the first class ass!"
"He's not first class yet mom, they're still on the rafters about it. I think Angeal might be waiting for Zack to do something amazing before they promote him. Maybe he wants to see if he's worth it."
"He's good to you, isn't he baby?"
"Of course he is I mean…we haven't even done it because he just kinda knew I wasn't ready. He pays a lot of attention to me and never does anything to hurt me. He takes care of me when I'm sick, he cooks, he even watches over me when he's able to and when he's not, he always has someone nearby. Zack is…so perfect…" Cloud trailed off, his voice losing its enthusiasm. "So perfect…"
Alina waited a few heartbeats, staring at the pictures of her husband with longing eyes. "…Cloud, let me tell you a story."
"Does it involve gelding?"
"Oh no, not this one," she replied casually.
"Ah good, cause I'm eating."
"Did I ever tell you about the man I was in love with before your father?"
"There was someone before dad?" Cloud asked surprised. "But dad was like your soul mate."
"Yes…yes he was. Siegfried Strife was an amazing man…despite being my distant cousin that I didn't know I was related to until after the wedding."
"You promised never to bring that up again, I'm still having problems with being the product of inbreeding, mom," Cloud said in a sing song voice.
"Oh for Christ sake we were distant enough for me to have come from another continent to meet him. Besides, we looked nothing a like anyway. The point is, there was someone whom I loved dearly before your father. He was good man, good provider. He would do anything for me; money, food, health. He would go out of his way to wake up before I did and ensure that I was smiling by the time my eyes opened. He was…so good to me. So perfect."
Cloud paused mid-chew. "What happened? Why didn't you marry him?"
"Because even though I loved him so much, even though he was my best friend and lover, even though I would've moved the world in reverse for him, I…wasn't in love with him. Oh god knows I loved him, I still have his engagement ring. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't trap him in something so sacred as love when my love was not on par with his. I loved him too much to have him suffer a woman who wouldn't give him loving that he desperately needed…that he deserved."
Cloud chewed slowly contemplating and then swallowed. "Mom….I love Zack."
"I know…I don't doubt that, not one bit. We Strifes love hard and deeply and when we say it there's no denying it…but baby…did you hear yourself when you talked about him. He's all the things you're looking for, all the things you could ever hope for in any one man or woman, but did you hear yourself…"
Cloud put his fork down and rested his head on his hand. He could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes as his mother steered him toward the baby elephant in the room that had been growing in size. He sniffled and blinked back the tears. "No…no mom. I won't say that. It's only been a few months and this isn't a movie. Falling in love takes time, you know that better than anyone."
"Cloud, I know it takes time and I'm not saying let him go…but if it dawns on you, if it becomes concrete that you KNOW that you aren't in love with Zack, please let him go before he falls in love with you."
"Mom…"
"We Strifes are heartbreakers not because we intend it but because we love so fiercely we don't know when to let go. If it ever gets like that, baby, you have to let him go."
Cloud was quiet, staring at his food with a destroyed appetite. "I love him mom…I truly love him…" Cloud smiled. "You'll see, give it time. We'll be in love with each other before the year's over. Like you said, love takes time."
"And if you're wrong?"
"I'll let him go."
"Just…don't hurt yourself baby."
"I won't. I gotta go ok."
"Ok, I love you Cloudy."
"I love you too mom."
Cloud looked out the window of the diner he sat in. He had left Zack a few hours ago because he'd gotten called in for some sort of briefing for a mission. This left Cloud with the weekend to himself. He couldn't say he was upset, he just had hoped Zack would be free but it seemed as though every time they'd gotten in some free time, Angeal would ring him up and pull him away. What did Angeal have against a little R&R? On top of that Cloud was horny and wanted attention. He was a teenager and he wanted to play but having his significant other away totally screwed up that plan. He put his head on the table thinking over the conversation with his mother. He loved Zack with all of his heart, how could she worry that it wouldn't work out. Zack knew him, understood him like no one else could and gave him so much encouragement to be better. He was a good boyfriend, a good friend, and so far a good lover. What more could Cloud want out of Zack? What could there possibly be that Zack wasn't giving him?
"Nothing," Cloud said with a smile. "Zack is perfect…that means…its me."
Cloud chuckled in a melancholy way and stood up, leaving the money for the bill on the table. He put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and walked out into the Midgar air. He still was not use to the city that never saw daylight, the night sky looming overhead was very strange to him and he often missed the azure wonder over his head in Nibelhiem. He hadn't quite found his place in Midgar as far as recreation and hang outs were concerned so he decided that since Zack was absent he would try out Midgar on his own. He was stronger, faster, could defend himself and he had a good amount of money. Basic paid damn good in ShinRa. He walked the stores, buying outfits for his mom and a few things figured Tifa would like. He found a huge wall scroll of the girl's favorite MMA fighter and spent a pretty penny on shipping and handling to get these things out to them. He then went in search of entertainment and wondered into Midgar's sector six. Dom called this the weirdo district, Cloud found he liked it. He walked around taking in the sights and sounds and inhaling the wonderful smell of food. Damn he was hungry again. At least his appetite was back. He took out his headphones and put them on his head, tuning into the Midgar's popular stations. He smiled and bobbed his head as he walked along the strips searching eagerly for something to get into when he saw a very interesting parlor playing something similar to old school glamrock music with a unearthly dark twist to it, the kind of stuff his mom used to rock out to. He smirked a bit and wondered in before he could stop himself.
Cloud felt his lips curl and then widen into a smile of awe. It was tattoo parlor? No, no, piercing parlor? No hah body modifications in general? No no, it was far too fancy. He saw people getting pierced in strange places. A girl had a line of studs lining her eyebrows and was getting a piercing to complete the set on her ears. Once it was in she looked in the mirror and smiled. Cloud had to admit she looked awesome and beautiful in a weird kinda way. Another man lay on his stomach with his hands resting above his head. A man sat beside him tattooing an intricate pattern that Cloud recognized from old Cosmo Canyon myths he'd read about in his old school library. It was a tribal rendition of the beast who saved the natives of Cosmo Canyon from the crimson tribe. Cloud wondered over giving it a good look, the man getting it nodded to him in greeting. A woman on her way out flicked her surgically slit tongue out at him with a sultry smirk. Cloud blushed as she passed him. He ventured further surprised that no one had turned him away. This place looked so exclusive that he didn't really want to disturb anything but they paid no more attention to him than the man on the moon. It wasn't until he saw someone he recognized that his grin faded as his face twisted into confusion.
"Reno?"
Reno lounged languidly on his stomach, propped up like a living canvas while the man behind him tattooed a masterpiece upon his lush skin. Reno lazily opened one eyes at him, his pupils dilated and his eyes a little glazed. He smirked and wiggled his finger for Cloud to come over.
"Whatcha doin on my playground, short shit?" Reno asked, his voice holding no bite. Cloud marveled at how relaxed he seemed and walked around to stare at the mural being painted onto his back in ink and pain. It was the image Ifrit and Shiva intertwined at the base of his spine forming hot ice burst of mystical flame that gave birth to an intricate vision of Pheonix whose wings spread out all over his shoulders and neck. The tattooist was filling in the deep colors and Reno's breathing and subtle movements brought the image to life.
"I just happened to wonder in…god this is beautiful, Reno," Cloud whispered. "Heh, are you drunk?"
"Nah, it's the endorphins," Reno said resting his head against the chair. "Been at this for three hours now, I'm good and high."
Cloud laughed. "What is this place?"
"I told you, it's my playground. Some of the best artists in the slums who use the human body as their canvas work here. I brought 'em up from the slums with a healthy dose of ShinRa's money and they've been making me money ever since. They just moved to this location though. The other place was too small."
"So…what exactly is this place? Just a tattoo parlor?" Cloud asked as he watched an impossibly shaped woman made of all threaded hips and thighs walk out with a ribbon corset laced in her back through rings pierced in her skin holding her shirt up. "Or…that stuff..there.."
Reno chuckled. "See you at your gig, Lexy"
She glanced over her shoulder with a smirked and blew a kiss at Reno. Cloud was totally at loss of words. Reno shifted a bit as the tattooist took a break. "This is an art studio, they just happened to work with skin. Lookin to get inked, yo?"
Cloud blinked and shook his head. "Nah, I'm scared of needles."
The tattooist behind him laughed as he changed needles. "That's what they all say until Reno gets a hold of them."
"You tattoo Reno?"
"Yep, I pierce too. It was what I was learning to do before I bombed the ShinRa building. Didn't give up the art cause it was my passion. Well that and booze, yo," Reno stretched and slumped against the chair. "I could do ya lil somethin' if you're interested, yo."
Cloud blushed "I wouldn't know what to get."
Reno laughed. "Well we wouldn't do it today, but I bet I could get a look at that skin of yours and give ya an idea."
"No rush, you're busy."
The tattooist pressed the needle to Reno's back. "Meh another thirty minutes give or take, Reno gets impatient after a while."
"Don't like sittin' still yo!"
Cloud laughed behind his hand. "Can I watch?"
"Sure kid, have a seat."
Reno shifted and got comfortable again. "So you in basic ain't ya. How's that treatin' ya."
Cloud smiled scratching the back of his head. "Good! I won my first brawl today."
"No kidding? What weight class?"
"Heavy weight, 260lb tank!" Cloud said proudly. "I really didn't think I would win!"
"Nah, we skinny guys have more bite to us than most. Not surprised you kicked his ass."
Cloud watched entrance by the work that the tattooist was doing. "You been in fights a lot, being in Turk and all."
"pfft, I'm in fights when I'm off the clock, yo. Nothing new there."
Cloud fell silent as he continued to observe and Reno fell into a nice relaxed trance. He wondered if he could be so calm as to let someone cut into his back.
"Meant to ask kid, ain't ya s'posed to be with Zack today?"
"Oh…yeah Angeal called him away today. Had a last minute mission."
"Last minute mission, eh?" Reno echoed. "He always seems to have a last minute mission when you guys finally find some time together."
Cloud's eyes shifted from the pattern on Reno's back to the back of his fiery red hair. He bit his lip and sighed. "Yeah, it does always seem that way. We can't seem to get a moment alone between me doing basic and him being away."
"Wondering if it's worth it kid?"
"No it's worth it!" he said immediately. "It's just…just…"
Reno chuckled. "I tell you one thing, mighty suspicious that every time you guys get the weekend together, Angeal always got something for him to do."
The tattooist paused in his drawing and glance at Cloud who had a darkened look over his face. "I think you're done for the day Reno."
"Thanks Aegean," Reno sat up straight. "Don't get down, Cloud. I'm just saying what you're already thinking."
Cloud nodded still holding his tongue. He didn't know what to say. Reno was right, every time they had time together Angeal always called him with a mission. But what could he do.
"I think the best thing you could do, is talk to your boyfriend, kid. Communication's key, yo. Without it, its gone be nothing but fights, suspicion, and heart ache. You don't want none of that, kid."
Cloud looked up at Reno with a dark gaze. "Can I be honest?"
"Yeah, who the hell am I gone tell?"
"I love Zack…but sometimes…I don't think anyone else wants me to, not even my own head."
Reno chuckled. "I know the feeling kid. That's the nature of the beast. But either you fight for it or ya don't. No one else is gonna do it for ya, right?"
Cloud allowed a ghost of a smile to show through. "Right, I'll talk to him when I get the chance. Face to face."
"Good Game, kid. Now lemme get a look at that back."
"Wait what?!"
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"Really could've been at home with Cloud," Zack grumbled staring out the airship window.
"I know, but if you want to get to 1st Class before your 20, this is good for you. Put your face on as many missions as possible and let Lazard see your progress. That's the point, understand?"
"Yeah, I know all that…but couldn't ya have just let me slide this once. Me and Cloud haven't had a moment alone in almost two months and on a perfect day he's at home alone and I'm stuck here starin' at clouds I don't want."
Angeal chuckled. "Patience puppy, 1st Class will give you the freedom to turn down missions and take leave days whenever you want. I'm doing this for your own good."
"Mmm, I guess." Zack whined.
Angeal watched his puppy slump in his seat, knowing that if he had ears they would be flopped. "How are things with Cloud."
"Well aside from you calling every time I get even remotely close to popping his cherry, swimmingly," Zack said bluntly.
"Don't take your sexual frustrations out on me," Angeal replied chuckling. "I'm just curious."
"Sorry, you just have like the worst timing in the world. He's calm he's ready then my phone rings and it's you! And you know I'll answer. Then I get called off on some obscure mission-"
"They aren't that obscure."
"-in the middle of nowhere that you say will help my career. I appreciate the help Angeal and I have a lot of fun doing these things but I haven't been well rested enough to pay Cloud any attention. That's not fair of me as his boyfriend."
Angeal felt a pang of guilt. "I must apologize then. I was only thinking of you and your goals Zack. I want you up there with us as soon as possible."
Zack smiled a bit. "Thanks Angeal. I mean, I know it doesn't seem like I appreciated it, that I'm not grateful but I am. I'm just frustrated...the more I get separated from Cloud the more I doubt. I know I love the little guy but we haven't even had a chance to solidify any of it, ya know. I swear the world is trying to keep us apart."
"So goes the life of a military couple. Time is hard to come by in our line of work unless you're high ranking. I mean the only reason we get so much privilege is because we're higher up."
"Yeah I know. And you're doing all of this because you want to make my dreams come true. You never actually told me why though."
"Why what?"
"Why'd you picked me?"
Angeal shifted uncomfortably, Sephiroth's accusations returning. "There's…just something about you, puppy."
Zack eyed Angeal and leaned back against the airship seat. He wondered if perhaps sleeping with Angeal that one time was biting him in the ass. Not to get it wrong, he cared for Angeal more than he should, but he also knew that he'd never be Sephiroth or Genesis to the man and therefore remaining aloof had been simple. Yet it seemed mission after mission, Zack would catch that look in the older man's eye, the same one that had ended with him on his back and being introduced to the careful passionate lover Angeal could be when he wasn't bossing him around. Zack had admitted that even though it had been once, it was a memorable experience that Zack still thought about. However, he was certain something like that would never happen again and he did not wish for it to. He had his feelings and devotion to Cloud, this being his first steady relationship and Angeal was still in deep with Genesis and often Sephiroth. Still sometimes, he would see that look and wonder if any of it was affecting the older man's judgment…and sometimes his own.
"When we return, I'm going to put in for you to have a couple of weeks off. I can at least guarantee you two weekends with your little boyfriend," Angeal said sounding almost reluctant.
Zack perked up. "Really! Yes! Thanks, Angeal!"
Angeal almost fell out of his seat when Zack tackled him in a hug. How he managed to do that from the tight seat, he would never know.
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Aerith sighed for the fifth time as she watched Sephiroth stare listlessly out of the window. "Your face is going to get stuck that way."
"That's a myth, I've kept my face neutral for three days straight to piss Vincent off and I was able to move just fine."
Aerith blew a raspberry. "Your very crabby today. Come on, we're supposed to be cheering you up. It can't rain everyday you know."
"It can during monsoon seasons in some parts of the planet."
Aerith narrowed her eyes and mimicked his position with her chin on her palm. "Sephiroth…they're still your friends you know."
"If they are…why are they never when I need them to be. Genesis is still too stubborn to apologize properly, Angeal is still locked in the self-righteous idea that being in love with his student is wrong but its not wrong to keep the kid away from his own boyfriend." Sephiroth sighed and put his forehead on the diner table. "I have lost the ability to commit emotionally to situations and now I'm losing my basic understanding of the human psyche. What kind of mood do you expect me to be in Aerith."
"Yes, I see what you mean. Its kinda melancholy isn't it, but I'm still here, right?"
Sephirith lifted his head a little at her and offered her a reassuring smile…at least what he hoped was reassuring. Couldn't really tell with himself these days. "Yeah, your still…" a flash of blond caught the corner of his eye. "Cloud?"
Aerith blinked and followed his line of vision. "OH!" she quickly rose and ran out of the diner.
Cloud walked about finding himself growing bored very quickly. He'd explored all over and it was only Friday night. He still had the rest of the weekend to keep himself occupied. He'd called his mom, he'd sight-seen that sector, hell he'd even touched bases with his friends until they all separated for their own personal plans for the weekend. He really wished Zack was around. He was starting to get in need of cuddles.
"Clooooouuuud!"
Cloud jumped at the sound of his name being sounded off like some weird bird call and turned in circles til he spotted Aerith. "Oh, hey!"
"Come on, come on, Sephiroth and me were just having dinner!"
Cloud smiled and followed eagerly. Thank god he had something to do now. Aerith hopped in the both seat and patted the spot next to her which he followed easily. Sephiroth watched Cloud with an expressionless face and smiled just a little with the blonde acknowledged him.
"What are you guys doing?"
"Oh we were going to go see a movie after we left here if miss negative nancy ever perks up," Aerith said pinching Sephiroth's cheek.
"I am not negative, I am in a mood, there's a difference."
Cloud laugh. "Well no need to be in a mood when there's fun to be had right? Come on, Seph what do you wanna see?"
"Yeah come on what did you want to see? You promised we'd have fun!"
Sephiroth stared between the two energetic teens before pulling out his phone and checking the movie listings. He scrolled until he came across one and smirked. "Alright, to the movies it is. But make sure you have a full stomach, because I want to go home after this."
"okay!" was the unanimous cry.
Three hours later
Aerith was still trembling holding Sephiroth's hand, while Cloud just looked shell shock. Sephiroth had his version of a shit eating grin. Aerith turned an unattractive shade of green before breaking away from the trio to puke in a nearby trash can. Sephiroth winced and held her head back though he couldn't suppress the amusement on his face. Cloud simply stood there with the same wide eyed expression. The Evil Dead movie was definitely worth the money he paid for it. They took a nice quiet loft back to his loft and eventually Cloud began speaking again and Aerith's stomach stopped turning. Once that happened, the movie was all they could talk about. Aerith took off to take her nightly shower and get out of her shoes as fast as possible leaving Sephiroth and Cloud to brew coffee. Of course Sephiroth was mildly OCD so he planted Cloud on a stool while he moved securely around the kitchen. Cloud watched fighting a grin at Sephiroth's obvious tick about having him in his kitchen and made a point to troll him by watching his every move. Sephiroth set some coffee to brew and got out cups though his back kept up an annoying tingle that he knew was Cloud burning tracks into his spine. He turned and glared at the boy who's mouth slipped into the grin he'd been struggling to hold in.
"Love what you've done with the place," Cloud said quickly.
"Took a couple of months, but I think the renovations are coming along."
Cloud nodded. "Self-renovating is always tough, but it's the best way. You get things to be exactly how you want them."
"Exactly," Sephiroth affirmed. "How are you enjoying basic, Cloud?"
"Oh I get picked on every day, nothing changed there, but they usually leave with an earful. Since I kicked that juggernaut's ass the other day, I'm suddenly everyone's favorite person!"
"Don't worry, they'll be back to hating you by Monday morning."
"I know, I'm not delusional. But…its kinda nice," Cloud said with a smile. "Back home, standing up to bullies regardless, I was still treated like an evil bastard child. At least this way, I feel like I'm just like everyone else and when I do something good, its noticed you know. It makes me happy that you and the other 1st Class were there to see me fight. It really felt good to be noticed by the people who made me even want to be here. I think I won because I knew you were going to be watching."
Sephiroth stared at Cloud, those strange feelings bubbling up again. "And how did you know I wouldn't be too busy to see you? How did you know I wouldn't miss it?"
Cloud shrugged. "I didn't. But you promised to be there and…well Seph, you don't seem like someone who breaks promises." Cloud's eyes fell to the freshly tiled floor. "That and…I just had feeling you wouldn't let me down."
"I try not to let down those I care about. I try not to do that because I know it hurts them and it's my greatest fear to hurt those I care about, you understand?"
Cloud nodded and hoped off the stool. "Don't make fun of me!" he said before he wrapped his arms around Sephiroth in a hug. "Thanks ok?"
Sephiroth stood frozen for a moment before hesitantly wrapping his arms around the teenager. "…for what?"
"Just…everything so far. And…do me a favor?"
Sephiroth pulled back a bit to look down at him. "Yes?"
"Promise not to ever let me down? You and Zack are the only ones who haven't so far…I want it to stay that way?"
At the mention of Zack's name, Sephiroth had to fight the urge to stiffen because right now his greatest and most unexplainable desire was nestled into his arms and he could do nothing about it. "I promise."
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Tseng had never been inside of the ShinRa Mansion. The only Turks allowed in were Veld and Melitta so for him to be requested by Lady ShinRa was an honor…and baffling. He was shown up the stairs by the maid who asked that he walk quietly as the young masters (he assumed were Rufus and Lazard) were studying. They went to the west wing where Lady ShinRa and President ShinRa resided and conducted all their business. The maid knocked on a wooden door in a show of manners.
"Yes?"
"Tseng has come as per your request, ma'am."
"Ah, send him in. I do not need to remind you to keep your mouth shut."
"Of course not ma'am." The maid opened the door. "You may go in."
Tseng eyed her as he walked past her and approached the silhouette in front of the glass windows. The sun was shining on that area of the house making the large study glow brightly and lighting Elloria's blond hair like a ethereal halo. It was beautiful, seeing her clean standing tall though tilted slightly on her cane and her hair pulled back tightly in a no nonsense bun. Her profile was regal and while the air of fatigue still haunted her expression, it was well covered by her determination to be Lady ShinRa as she once was. She looked over her shoulder, her voice clear and distinct.
"I trust you understand that this meeting is off the books."
Tseng nodded.
"Then I can trust that the orders I am about to give you will not leave this room?"
"Yes, Lady."
"Can you swear it? Swear it on your blood."
Tseng paused looking the Lady in the eye seeing there was no hesitance there. She was completely serious. Tseng slowly lowered himself to the ground onto one knee and lowered his head. "Shall I swear on your hand as well, Lady?"
Lady ShinRa walked over slowly, the tap of her cane a loud thud in the silent room. Once she was in front of him she held out her hand and he took it, placing his forehead against it. "I swear by your hand and by my blood to carry out your orders no matter what they may be."
Lady ShinRa nodded. "Tseng…your orders are to kill commander Hiedegger and Veld Verdot…"
"…when, Lady?"
"When Veld kills me…" Lady ShinRa narrowed her eyes. "Can you do this?"
"I desire nothing greater."
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A/N: sorry this literally took forever to get out to you. My life is full of so many setbacks but this is one of those thing I'm trying to stay on. I'm glad you all are patient. Don't worry, things are about to get real good.
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Walking Out on Destiny